Bollo had been wandering about collecting everyone's dirty laundry, when he had happened upon Howard and Vince making conversation in the kitchen as they made a tray of super special brownies.
"I mean, every time we hear how old Naboo is, it changes." Vince commented, and Howard nodded. "He's 203, 172, 406... I'd like to know how old he really is."
Bollo cocked his head, not ever having been told Naboo's real age himself.
"I'll bet you know the truth, how old is he, then?" Howard turned to Bollo, who was holding a light blue basket of grungy clothes.
Bollo shrugged, making a grunt.
"What? You seriously don't know?" Vince asked in surprise, raising his brows.
"No." Bollo admitted. "But, I know when his birthday is."
Howard and Vince exchanged glances.
"All right, spill it." Howard encouraged, and Vince nodded with a grin. "When's his birthday, then?"
Bollo looked over his left shoulder, then his right, his unnaturally blue eyes roving around looking for any sign of Naboo.
"Next month. Fifteenth." Bollo answered, before continuing on to collect the last of the laundry.
"The fifteenth of September, eh?" Howard said thoughtfully, getting an idea. "For some reason, I'd always figured he'd have been born in the winter. More of a February baby."
Vince's eyes glittered nearly as brightly as his purple and green three piece suit. "We should throw a party for 'im! Go all out, invite all of Camden and go absolutely wild!" He enthused, and Howard nodded.
"That's precisely what I was just thinking!" Howard replied, glad that he and Vince were on the same track.
"Of course you were." Vince said teasingly, making Howard frown.
"I was!" Howard whined a bit, making Vince laugh in amusement.
"All right." Vince told him, before they heard footsteps and fell silent.
"What's going on?" Naboo inquired, looking suspicious of the boys.
They shrugged, looking at one another before back at the diminutive shaman.
"What are you on about?" Vince asked, and Naboo cocked an eyebrow.
"In the entire time I've known you both, you've never been as quiet as you were when I came in just now." Naboo replied.
It was true; neither Howard nor Vince were the quiet types, and when they got together there was rarely a moment of actual silence.
And, yet, as Naboo had come into the kitchen for a glass of milk and a few of the cookies that he'd baked that morning, he would never have guessed that the boys were there at all it had been so quiet.
"So, what's going on?" Naboo repeated himself, waiting for an honest answer.
"We thought we'd make some brownies is all." Vince piped up, gesturing to the oven where the treats were now baking. "Extra fudgy and super special."
Naboo was sure there was more to it than that, but left it alone. "Save me a couple, will ya?" He asked, and Vince promised that they would.
With that, Naboo went to enjoy a nice, hot shower after taking a few cookies, leaving the boys to make all sorts of outlandish plans for the fifteenth.
The days went by quickly enough, and before long, it was the day before Naboo's birthday.
The boys had adopted and then scrapped quite the number of plans for the next day, but what they had eventually settled on would be the talk of the town for some time afterward.
As they stood behind the counter of the Nabootique, with the owner out running some errand or other, they went over the last minute details.
"Right, so most of the board of shamen have confirmed, Mistress LuLu, and those Swiss underwear models here on a shoot... And Barry, of course." Howard mused, wondering who else they might be able to get at the last moment.
Vince tilted his head, going over the list in his head. "We've forgotten the queen!" He realised, shaking his head. "You know how Liz and Naboo get on, they're practically besties."
Howard closed his eyes in disbelief. "How could we forget?" He wondered, and Vince shrugged.
"Hang on, I'll ring 'er up and see if she can make it." Vince said, getting the phone out and dialing.
The answer from the other end came from a young woman, who told him that she would ask as soon as the queen had finished her afternoon tea, and that she would call him back.
"Well?" Howard asked, as Vince hung up.
"Not sure. We'll have to wait for a call back." Vince answered, clicking his tongue.
As Howard replenished the little glass jar of buttons on the counter, Vince grinned to himself.
"Can you imagine the look on Naboo's face when he walks into the party?" Vince asked, getting excited.
All of the planning and work they'd put in was going to really pay off, he could tell.
Howard nodded in agreeance. "Are you sure we aren't going overboard?" He asked, thinking that maybe they were going too big with this thing.
"Are you joking?" Vince asked, his blue eyes wide. "Naboo's not celebrated his birthday in who knows how long. We're making up for that now. We can't go too big, Howard, it's not possible."
Howard wasn't too sure, but it was too late to do much about it if he was right.
"It'll be great, you'll see." Vince assured him, as a customer walked in.
As the sun peeked out over Camden, Howard awoke with the warm light spilling into his room and across his face.
He opened his eyes, yawned, and got out of bed.
Stomach growling, he went into the kitchen for a brownie.
After a brief search, he'd discovered only an empty plate with a few dry crumbs left behind.
Letting out a sigh, he began making coffee before settling on a couple of pieces of toast.
It was a couple more hours before Vince finally crept out of bed.
Naboo was due back late that afternoon, and they had to have everything in order by then.
After Vince ate breakfast, they began decorating; streamers, balloons, smatterings of colourful confetti, faerie lights... When they were finished, the place had been transformed into a psychedelic paradise.
The food was being catered, which made things quite a bit easier; the bakery, a couple of Naboo's favourite restaurants, and the Pizza Cavern were all bringing a little something to munch.
As for music, Saboo had volunteered to DJ with Tony Harrison.
After having so much fun DJing at Howard's birthday a few years back, Saboo had more or less told Howard and Vince that he would be taking care of the musical entertainment.
Plus, there were the entertaining guests, as well.
By four o'clock, everything was in place and they were only waiting for the guest of honour to arrive.
It was nearly an hour later, and people were becoming restless.
Some were calling for things to get under way, while others were talking of leaving.
Howard and Vince were doing their best to keep everyone in a good mood, but it wasn't easy.
They had all been waiting and waiting, becoming more restless as time went on.
And, who could blame them?
Finally, another quarter of an hour later, Bollo gave them the signal and everyone fell completely silent as the lights were all turned off.
As Naboo made his way upstairs, glad to have the trip over and done with and to be home again, he thought he heard a woman's voice.
He figured that Vince must have had a girl over and didn't think much of it.
Naboo had planned on watching some rubbish on the telly and eating a quick supper before heading to bed.
But, instead of finding a quiet place to curl up and rot his brain as he ate some mac and cheese, he'd found the dark room suddenly light up with thousands of little faerie lights.
Naboo's dark eyes went round as saucers, as his jaw dropped in complete shock.
The crowd began to sing 'Happy Birthday' in unison, and Naboo could see a massive cake which was topped with innumerable candles which were being lit by a few guests.
Naboo wasn't sure how to react, and so he just stood there taking it all in.
Howard and Vince had obviously put a great deal of effort into this, and he didn't want to put them out, even if he'd stopped celebrating his birthday after a painful and traumatic experience which he had always kept very secret.
He forced a smile and walked into the room properly, Vince coming up and taking him up to the cake.
As the song came to an end, Naboo began blowing out the lower candles.
Some wise arse called out for someone to lift him up in order to blow the ones on the top of the cake out.
Naboo looked as if he would gladly turn that person into a diseased slug.
He turned on his heel and flounced out of the room, and the boys looked terribly disappointed.
But, moments later, Naboo had come in on his magic carpet and zoomed up to the cake, snuffing every last glowing candle with a single breath.
Applause errupted, and Saboo began playing 'Get the Party Started' by P!NK.
Everyone began dancing, and Naboo felt his stomach complain emptily.
He held his flat tummy, and Howard asked if everything was all right.
"Yeah, fine, I'm just hungry is all." Naboo yelled back over the music.
Howard nodded, and gave the signal to Vince to order the food.
"Can you wait twenty minutes?" Howard shouted back, and Naboo gave a nod.
Naboo, a big fan of P!NK, began humming along and swaying his hips to the rhythymn.
It always took him a while to get loose enough to really enjoy a party.
Of course, a few drinks always helped.
Naboo went over to the bar and ordered a double sour moose nipple.
He downed it in one gulp, feeling the alcohol warm his throat and chest.
Shortly thereafter, he felt himself begin to relax.
As the song ended, and 'Blue' by Mint Royale started, Naboo spotted a shy looking bloke on his own near the wall and went over.
"Fancy a dance?" He asked, and the guy shrugged and gave a nod.
They headed out onto the floor and began dancing.
It was awkward at first, but they began really getting into it.
They danced a few more songs together, having a couple of drinks between tracks, and had felt a spark between them.
They'd exchanged numbers before Naboo had been asked for a dance by a leggy girl that was perhaps a half inch shorter than he was.
She was cute, and Naboo had been pretty comfortable with her as he'd closed the gap between them as they danced to a slow song.
Vince caught sight of them and beamed, poking Howard in the shoulder as he danced with a punk chick.
"What?" Howard asked, following Vince's gaze.
Howard smiled, glad to see Naboo having a good time.
Once the food had arrived, Naboo had taken a break and scoped out his absolute favourite food - a gorgeous reuben sandwich.
He closed his eyes as he tasted its goodness, feeling very happy.
The queen came up and joined him, taking a sandwich for herself, though Naboo hadn't noticed her with so many people there, even with her beside him.
It was during this lull in activity that a dozen men and women strode into the very center of the room and the floor was cleared.
Six silver poles were swiftly erected, and smoke machines began working away as a highly sexy and explicit song began to play.
They began to move to the music, gyrating suggestively in unison.
Naboo watched in curiosity, never having seen anything like this before.
Moments later, the dancers ripped their tops off and tossed them to the left of the room, before bending over and displaying firm derrieres.
They shook their arses to the beat, then dropped low and began grinding against the floor.
Naboo wasn't sure what to think about this, but found it difficult to look away.
Suddenly, the dancers were up on their feet again and gracefully removed what was left of their clothing, flitting about in the nude as the lights played over their taut bodies.
When they were finished, Naboo clapped and whistled, finding himself kind of turned on.
One of the nude women came up to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Naboo blushed crimson, trying not to stare at her nakedness.
He was generally able to keep from giving into his sexuality, but drink did tend to niggle away at that and Naboo found it a challenge to keep from reaching out for her.
She giggled, which made her breasts bounce irresistably.
She leaned in, whispering a proposition to him.
This made Naboo blush even further, and she bit her lip as she grinned at him.
Then, she left.
The night wore on, and Naboo spent much of it on his feet dancing with anybody and everybody.
He'd even danced with Dennis, who had been having a fantastic time away from his domestically violent wife.
But, after six hours, Naboo needed some rest and he'd excused himself to go lie down in his room for a bit.
Stretching out on his four-poster bed, Naboo let out a contented sigh.
Only minutes later, a mixed group of men and women strayed into his room.
They had been lead by the stripper who had been so friendly with him earlier.
She was still fully naked, proudly strutting over.
Naboo frowned, not understanding at first.
But, when the stripper had come onto the bed and began kissing him, he began to get the idea.
Forgetting himself, he kissed her right back.
"Mmm." She smiled against his lips, running a hand through his silky hair.
She broke the kiss.
"What's your name?" He asked her softly.
"Maggie." She answered, before looking around at the others who were watching them from the walls. "Now, who takes your fancy?"
She stood up, going straight for a fragile looking blonde man and kissing him deeply. "What do you think, baby?" She asked Naboo, running a finger from the dainty man's chest down to his trousers.
Naboo blinked, no idea what to say.
This was all very strange, despite being incredibly good.
He could hear the music playing outside, and wondered if the people out there knew what was happening in his room.
Had Howard and Vince set this up?
Was it a joke of some sort?
Naboo found that he didn't care.
"Can't decide?" She asked playfully. "I don't think I could narrow it down either... Let's just play this by ear, then, shall we?"
She came back over, taking her time in undressing him.
Naboo suddenly came to his senses, swearing beneath his breath and shoving her hands away.
She look worried. "Have I done something wrong?"
Naboo swallowed, hating to call off the fun, but not wanting to suffer the humiliation of having his pants pulled down to reveal his Ken doll smoothness.
There was a reason that he refrained from any sort of romantic or sexual activity; the past had proven to him that finding someone who understood and wouldn't react hurtfully upon learning of his situation would prove a challenge indeed.
It was just the way that he'd been born, nothing that he could help.
Naboo had long ago come to terms with his body, with his lack of a penis where there ought to have been one.
It had made his life a misery back in his teens, but he'd learnt to accept that he was different and that it was okay.
But, it had been on his coming of age birthday party when his then-girlfriend had wanted for them to lose their virginity together.
He had trusted her implicitly, and had never expected her to react in a mixture of amusement and revulsion.
She had treated him like some sort of disgusting joke, and then had told everyone at the party about his secret.
He had lost many of his friends, his job, and apparently humiliated his parents so much that they'd disowned him.
In one foul swoop, his life had been turned upside down all because he'd wanted to finally have sex.
Every time his birthday rolled around, he remembered that fateful night.
And, now, it was happening again.
"Look, I'm sorry, but I can't do this." He apologised, and the stripper heaved a disappointed sigh.
"Well, if you change your mind..." She told him with a wink, before leading the group back out of his room.
Naboo let out a breath, feeling frustrated.
He threw a pillow across the room, trying to cool down before heading back into the fray.
Choosing to dance alone for a while, Naboo still had a pretty decent time of it.
After a while, he spotted the short, leggy girl from before looking a bit sad as she sat at a table by herself.
Naboo went and asked if she wanted to get some fresh air.
She nodded, and he brought her up to the roof.
Naboo gave her a moment for herself, not wanting to impose.
She took a few deep breaths of cool night air, looking up at the twinkling stars.
She still seemed down.
"What's your name?" He asked in a friendly tone.
"Adrielle." She replied, her voice tinged with sorrow.
"You all right?" Naboo asked, and she blinked.
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry... I'm not bringing you down am I?" She asked miserably, souding embarrassed.
"What? No, I was just wondering." He replied, thinking it a strange response. "You seem kind of sad."
Adrielle gave him a small smile. "It's nothing, really." She said a bit awkwardly. "I suffer from depression, that's all. I mean, there's no reason for it, it just happens sometimes. I tried to shake it off for the party, have a good time... But, I couldn't."
Naboo looked solemn. "That doesn't sound like nuffing." He told her gently, thinking how difficult that must be to put up with.
He got an idea. "You know, I'm pretty sure I could help you."
She raised a brow, wondering whether she should be on alert.
The amount of men who had laid a line like that on her only to get into her knickers was frustratingly high.
"I'm a shaman." Naboo explained, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. "There's got to be something in the book to cure depression; if you want, I'll take a look and see."
"You think you're a wizard or something?" She asked cautiously.
"Shaman." Naboo corrected. "When I came in on the carpet earlier, that wasn't some sort of Hollywood trick, you know."
Adrielle cleared her throat. "How'd you do it, then?" She asked.
Naboo smiled at her. "Come on, I'll show you."
Taking the carpet outside and laying it on the cool grass, they sat on top of it.
Controlling the carpet was one of the simplest things a person could do; all it took to pilot one was to think your way through it.
If you wanted to soar up to the tops of the fluffy white clouds, you would simply concentrate on the thought of that.
Same with turning left, right, or doing a barrel roll.
He explained this to Adrielle, inviting her to give it a try.
She couldn't help but laugh, the whole thing felt so bizarre.
"Go on." Naboo encouraged, and Adrielle gave a half-hearted try.
The carpet barely hovered momentarily, and Adrielle let out a shocked gasp.
"There, see?" Naboo said, enjoying the look on her face transforming from shock to excitement.
She closed her eyes and imagined them slowly floating up towards the clouds, heading east.
Adrielle opened her eyes as she felt the carpet move, and she let out a gleeful noise.
Naboo laughed, pleased at her reaction.
As they soared through the air, Naboo could barely take his eyes off of this girl.
He wasn't sure why; she wasn't particularly extraordinary in any way that he had noticed.
Adrielle seemed to be typically average.
But, perhaps that was just it.
Adrielle was your run of the mill sort, but was fine with that.
She didn't go about with that 'I'm not like the other girls' sort of attitude.
Adrielle seemed to simply be herself, without the compulsion to put on a mask for anyone.
Whatever it was, Naboo was intrigued.
Adrielle grew more confident and began to drive faster, until Naboo began to feel a bit sick and had her slow down.
He took over the controls and took them back home.
Once they had arrived back at the party, it had winded down some.
There were people leaving, others sleeping, and still more partying as if it were their last night alive.
He and Adrielle had danced for a while, before she became too tired to go on.
Naboo offered his room to her for the night, not ready to go to sleep just yet.
Adrielle yawned widely, and thanked him as she took him up on his offer.
He'd shown her to his room, and had left her to get some sleep.
He'd taken ten minutes or so to find the right section of 'Magic of the Ages', going into his secret stash of ingredients.
Naboo made up a draught which would completely cure Adrielle of the sort of depression she'd been suffering all her life.
He'd crept stealthily into his room where the girl was now snoring, leaving the small orange vial on the bedside table with a note explaining what it was filled with and how to use it, before heading back to the others.
He'd come back to the party to hear Tony Harrison drunkenly spouting off about his five stomachs and how he was superior with his complex systems.
Saboo had switched off Tony Harrison's mic, and had promptly put on a Fleetwood Mac song just to shut the little pinky wafer up.
Howard and Vince began dancing together, their hands beginning to wander.
Naboo raised his brows, more surprised that they were putting on such a display in public rather than witnessing the act at all.
He'd always suspected that they would eventually quit acting as if it wasn't entirely obvious that they fancied the pants off of one another.
Naboo sighed, suddenly feeling lonely.
It had been a wonderful birthday, and he was glad that Howard and Vince had decided to go to all the trouble.
It was just that there was only one thing that he actually wanted that he didn't have, and he had given up on that long ago.
He reached into his pocket for the wishbone that Dennis had given him, and turned to the person to his immediate left.
"Make a wish with me?" He asked, feeling more than a bit tipsy.
The person considered him a moment, before wrapping a pinkie around the side of the wishbone closest to them, and pulled with Naboo on the count of three.
Naboo gave a triumphant shout as he ended up with the bigger piece, an overwhelming flood of warm, shimmering feelings washing over him.
The same was happening to the person he'd broken the wishbone with, and they locked eyes.
They introduced themselves, before a demanding urge struck and they began making out passionately.
Naboo wasn't sure whether Chris was a man or a woman, and he didn't care in the least.
It was as if this was true love at first sight, and nothing else in the world mattered in that moment.
Many people had turned to stare at the intimate scene, Dennis looking proud of himself.
He'd known just what Naboo wanted most, and knew of the best way to give it to him; he had enchanted that wishbone with potent magic.
Naboo wanted someone to loved, and to be loved by. And, now he had that.
Dennis began to wonder of perhaps he'd made the enchantment too strong, as the pair began to divest one another of their clothing as they lay on the floor.
And, with that, the party was officially over.
For the guests, anyway.
As the house emptied of guests, and Naboo and Chris were given their privacy, Saboo had left a romantic record playing softly in the background.
Chris began pulling Naboo's pants down, and Naboo's body stiffened.
Chris sensed the deep tension, and stopped tugging at Naboo's pants to remove their loose fitting t-shirt to reveal very small breasts.
Naboo couldn't help but look at them.
They were so petite and cute, he wanted to cup them, to mouth them, to pay them the attention they deserved.
Chris waited patiently for Naboo to do something in vain.
Naboo was terrified that he would cross the line somehow and mess this all up.
At the same time, he felt that same deep love within him resonating from Chris and knew that it was all right.
Chris took Naboo's hands and placed them over those perky tits which were begging for attention.
Naboo gave them a gentle squeeze, testing things out.
He then moved his fingers to the taut nipples and traced around the little nubs.
Chris let out a soft moan, and Naboo felt something hard against his left leg.
Chris stopped, his eyes looking into Naboo's with a hint of panic.
"Is that what I think it is?" Naboo asked, and Chris swallowed fearfully.
"Probably." Chris admitted heavily, and Naboo felt some relief.
Chris must have experienced some of that same rejection as he had, and knowing that had made him want to always protect Chris from that ever happening again.
Naboo took his pants off, revealing his smoothness, and Chris peered at it curiously.
There was no horror, no amusement, no hint of anything remotely like that in Chris' eyes.
With that, Chris was confident enough to remove his own pants to reveal the thick cock.
Naboo thought it looked magnificent.
But, as much as he wanted to continue, it was rather cold on the floor.
"Come with me." Naboo managed, his voice husky with longing.
He took Chris to an extra room, closing the door behind them.
There was no bed, but it was carpeted and there were blankets in the closet.
He swiftly laid a blanket on the floor, and they lay down.
"You are so beautiful." Naboo intoned softly, nuzzling into Chris' neck.
Chris broke out in goosebumps, the feeling of Naboo's wandering hands becoming too much.
He moved down, spreading Naboo's legs and finding his way to the sweet spot, tongueing the tight arsehole.
Naboo wriggled slightly, finding the sensation slightly disconcerting at first, but beginning to enjoy it.
After a few minutes, Chris eased a slick finger inside and Naboo wasn't so sure about this.
It was getting wierd; here he was, laying down with a finger in his butt.
Still, it wasn't as if it felt bad.
Chris slipped the finger in and out, and Naboo licked his bottom lip as it became pleasurable.
Soon, Chris added another finger, then another.
Chris had found Naboo's prostate, evoking a throaty moan.
Those sweet noises made Chris even harder to the point of aching.
Chris moved back up to kiss Naboo, positioning themselves for penetration.
"Can I? ... I mean, are you -" Chris panted, unable to get a proper sentence out.
"More than." Naboo managed, and Chris began pushing in.
The pre-cum that had leaked profusely was more than enough lubrication, but even so, the very tight fit made Chris wonder if he was hurting Naboo.
Naboo's eyes were shut tight, he was biting his lower lip, and letting out a gutteral groan.
"Am I hurting you?" Chris asked in concern, barely moving.
"Mm-mmm." Naboo intoned, unable to speak.
Evidently, Chris was not moving quickly enough, as Naboo grabbed Chris' arse and pulled him closer until he was completely inside.
Chris sucked in a breath, the tight heat very nearly too much.
Chris began moving in and out, hips bucking more fervently within moments.
Naboo arched his back so that Chris hit his prostate cleanly, running a hand through his jet black bob, cursing up a storm.
The wild passion was like electricity, practically crackling in the air around them as their lovemaking became nearly violent.
The bed banged against the wall, not that either of them took any notice of it as Naboo came with a loud cry while a raging hurricane of pure sensation ripped through him.
As much as they would have relished the amazing fuck all night long, Charlie wasn't going to be able to last much longer.
As Naboo began climaxing a second time, Chris shuddered as he bucked his hips jerkily, biting their lip so hard that it nearly bled as they ejaculated with a muted grunt.
Chris pulled out, too exhausted to do anything but collapse next to Naboo.
They looked into one another's eyes, both of them happier than they ever had been.
"Happy birthday." Chris muttered tiredly.
Naboo leaned in a few inches, claiming that delicious mouth once more, before they cuddled into one another and fell into a deep sleep.