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Kittens in Heaven

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The last thing Evan remembered was the ceiling collapsing on him.

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was...kittens. Lots and lots of gamboling kittens.

“Am I in heaven?”

He tried to talk, only there was a tube down his throat, and as soon as he realized it, he started choking.

The kittens shifted and resolved themselves into scrubs. Scrubs worn by a massive man with a fascinating geometric tattoo on one forearm.

“Easy there, lieutenant,” he said. “Now, what was that?”

Evan blinked blearily up at the man, who had sparkling brown eyes and incredible golden skin and dreadlocks and looked like a man Evan had once seen on a calendar comprised entirely of Hawaiian surfers. Or possible Hawaiian firemen. Evan had posed for a firemen calendar once.

Evan was a fireman.

“Am I in heaven?”

The man chuckled. “What makes you say that?”

Evan batted at the kittens, still a little confused. “Kitties.”

“I’m usually down in pediatrics,” the man said, “but they needed all hands on deck for the aftermath of that fire.”

Fire. Building. Following John. Trying to get those kids. Ceiling falling in.

Evan sat bolt upright. “John!” Agony lanced through his skull, and he started coughing, couldn’t breathe.

The beautiful man pressed a cup of water to his lips, gently urged him to drink. “Easy, easy. Captain Sheppard’s fine. Everyone’s fine. No one died in the fire. No one really got hurt - except you.”

The cold water burned at first, but then it was soothing, and Evan drank it down greedily. Then he sank back, limbs feeling loose and rubbery.

The other man set the cup aside. “Do you know what day it is?”

“ birthday?”

“Is May twenty-fifth your birthday?”


“Why would you think today is your birthday?”

“Because you’re my present.” Evan beamed, pleased with this leap in logic. He’d been injured in a fire, he was laid up in the hospital, and Teyla and John and the rest had sprung for a really nice get well gift for him.

The man raised his eyebrows. “I’m gonna go get the doctor, lieutenant. You sit tight.” He turned to go.

Evan pouted. “Wait, what’s your name?”

“Nurse Dex.”

“‘Bye, Nurse Dex,” Evan said sadly, waving.

The beautiful man laughed again and vanished.

And Evan fell asleep.

When he woke up, John, Chief O’Neill, his mom, and his sister were all standing over him.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Lorne,” John said.

Evan blinked. “Where’d the pretty nurse go?”

O’Neill laughed. “He’s going to be just fine.”

Mom stroked his hair. “Evan, sweetie, you gave us quite the scare.”

“Just doin’ my job,” he mumbled, blushing, because his captain and his boss were right there.

“As soon as the doctor says it’s safe for you to go, you’re coming home with me,” Mom continued. “Tally and I will take care of you.”

Tally grinned wickedly. “So, who’s this pretty nurse?”

Evan said, “I think his name is Dex.

“You mean Ronon?” John raised his eyebrows.

“Did you need something?” The beautiful man appeared in the doorway. He smiled when he saw Evan. “Good to see you awake, lieutenant.”

Evan beamed at him. “Will you go out with me?”

“Maybe ask me again when you’re not suffering from a concussion and smoke inhalation.”


The beautiful man departed, and Evan watched him go, forlorn.

John clapped him on the shoulder. “Way to carpe diem, lieutenant.”

“Thanks, captain.” Evan yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Hey, where did the kittens go?”

The others laughed, and Evan slipped back into sleep, fading into happy dreams of kittens and beautiful men and blue, blue skies.