Work Header

The Incident Of The Trouser Snake In The Bedroom

Work Text:

The date had gone well. Well no one died and no aliens arrived at least.

Clara had made a point a few weeks back that they never did anything remotely human based and she fancied a trip to a posh restaurant with the TimeLord.
He'd agreed mostly on the basis that she'd said that he couldn't sit still for an hour and enjoy small talk.

So they'd ended up Claridges and the TimeLord donned a neat looking cream suit. Much lighter than his usually black, navy's and reds.

Small talk consisted of her talking about her teaching, him complaining about humans, her talking about the Caribbean, him talking about a great planet where it was all remote islands and everything was cooked with something like coconut.

Over dinner they'd failed to avoid talk of the Tardis and spent most of the main course and dessert talking about how she keeps switching rooms and The Doctor being sure he was missing socks.

But as the evening came to a close and things got darker, more romantic, the heat was turned up. Literally, The Doctor managed to knock over a tea light candle on the table and spill hot wax all over her arm and set a paper napkin on fire.


As they got in the taxi it was the brush of the TimeLord's hand on her knee that had her blood surging, a glint in his eyes and she was blushing, he leans to whisper in her ear and she's turning her head to brush her lips against his...

She finds her hand wandering towards his groin as he kisses her sweetly, his cock reacting quickly and she knows tonight she will finally get the fuck she has been waiting for this whole fortnight...

Back in the flat, the gentlemanly way he opens the door and lets her past, takes off her coat and mentions coffee just has her hooked and her arms are around his neck, lips crushing his and he moans into her mouth, pinning him to the wall.


His Scottish growls that wrap that word up in such a erotic way sends a rush of heat and wet between her thighs.


His jacket hits the floor first, then his shirt was open and he gasps at the feeling of her soft lips against a nipple. He went to discard it but Clara stopped him. "Leave it on...I want you to fuck me in it, so every time you wear a white shirt you think of me..."

His cock is straining in his trousers and Clara doesn't think she's ever been this desperate for fuck since she was in high school.
As they stumble into the bedroom kissing, the Doctor finally finds the small zipper on her dress and the thin material slinks to the floor, Clara stepping out of it neatly as if she'd practiced the exact moment.

Falling on to the bed The Doctor takes a moment to admire his companion.

Luscious auburn brown locks splayed out on the white cotton pillow, the way that lacy front hook red bra hugged her breasts, her slim toned stomach, his eyes skimming all the way to her smooth shapely legs that lay wide and hooked over his back.

"Your beautiful" it was unlike him to speak so gently, so sincere as he admired her and she blushed reached to run her hands through his salt and pepper curls.

"I'd rather you tell me this bra was hideous and would look better Tardis blue" she giggled as he lent up to kiss her once more.

"It does but I was trying to be sexy"

She laughed properly this time but broke into a gasp as he unhooked the bra with his teeth, watching it pop open to reveal her perky boobs, The Doctor wasted no time taking a nipple into his mouth and making her whimper in delight.

Moving lower he eyed her soaked knickers.

"Wow...didn't think I was still any good" he teased and she tried to close her legs but his grasp on her thighs was to strong. He shushed her gently as he slid his right hand up her thigh till his thumb grazed her clit beneath to sodden silk and she moaned.

"Oh god you want me..."

"Yes, Fu-Doctor please!" she wriggled her hips against his thumb desperate for some friction.

"Come for me Clara....come for me..."

His accent became more and more erotic the more turned on her got by watching her beg. His fingers now dipping into her folds and teasing her, palming both her holes and spreading her arousal. She came with his name on her lips after a few moments her cunt pulsating around his fingers and he had to fight the urge to come in his pants at the sight of her ecstasy.

He shuffled back to let her slip them off, while he unzipped and shuffled off his own. She rolled on to her front head on the pillow and ass in the air, her scent filling the room.
No huge cocks in the face, tonight, no black eyes tonight...he was finally going to do this right.

Shuffling up behind her he began to kiss a line down her back as he stroked his erection.

She pushed back against him and he grunted into her skin.

"Doctor..." she purred her hands grasping at the pillow now looking back at him desperate to finally feel his cock fill her, finally get that fuck she's wanted ever since they began this awkward faze of dating.

He didn't want to rush this, he could already feel that coiling bubble in his stomach and he was ashamed to say he wouldn't last long right now as he rubbed the spot just under the head of his cock as pre-cum glistened at the tip and lubricated his hand. He was too used to spending evenings with his pants down in the library wanking himself off then in a bed with someone.

He looked down to her bottom and spied her hole, all wet and waiting. But just as he went to sit back to calculate the angle Clara reached back and grabbed his collar pulling him forward into a awkward kiss.

"Doctor...please!!" she begged into his mouth and the TimeLord just fumbled to get his cock into place , for Clara she clamped her eyes shut the second she felt the head of his cock against her folds waiting to feel that delicious push as he entered her. But because he was leaning over her and no looking, he fell from romantic desperate boyfriend into fumbling mistaken high school teenager and missed.

Don't get her wrong, he went in alright.

But he'd been short of his goal.


Clara's eyes flew open as she half moaned and half screamed the sensation was burningly disturbing but the pain morphed directly into pleasure and her cunt received an almighty rush of arousal which dripped out on to the bed as the Doctor thrust in.

She threw a hand back to try shove at his chest but couldn't reach and just grasped the hand that was on her hip.

"Wha?" he panted fighting down the need to blow, she was so tight he daren't move.

"WrOnG hOLe" she gasped back biting into the pillow against the conflicting feelings.

The Doctor winced wondering if he should pull out but he knew if he did he'd be done for.

"I-Can't...I'm gun-"

"Move...fuck me, just fuck me!" she begged pushing back on him now as she began to rub her clit.

He didn't last. He'd not expected her to be so tight and in his rush he'd jumped the gun and in mere seconds blew his load inside her with a loud moan as he came spurting hot cum and she came with him, Clara would probably have found it the sexiest thing in her life had it not been the wrong hole.

The Doctor pulled back as the over sensitivity got too much and sat back on his heels grasping his cock and biting his lip.

Clara let her body flop to the bed unsure what to feel as her cunt still ached to be fucked but now her ass felt sore and she didn't know if she just wanted to sleep this out.
She should have known it would go wrong.

Getting his breath back and he sat forward over her.

"Wrong hole? How..." he paused and examined her bottom, putting a finger on her anus which was currently dripping with his seed. Oh.

Titling his head and slipping his finger down into her folds again he found the smaller and wetter hole he'd been playing with before.

"How did you get that confused?" Clara breathed into the pillow a little stated but already planning payback for the morning.

The Doctor shrugged.

"I only have one hole...not counting the slit in my cock..."

Clara rolled her eyes. Maybe she shouldn't have assumed he knew what he was doing.

Time Lord was only a title. It never ever meant he knew what he was doing.