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Smitten Fox, Feisty Bunny

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The bell by the door jingled. Nick, out of habit, looked at the entrance to greet the new customer. Which to his surprise, was a little grey rabbit. Judy, seemingly unfazed that she was the only small prey in the pub, walked straight to the bar and hopped onto a stool.

“Glass of beer, please.” She drearily waved her paw for the fox’s attention.

“Ya sure you don’t want those fancy carrot martinis instead, Fluff?” The bartender smirked.

The bunny scoffed. “Listen, I’ve been through this before alright? I order a beer, you suggest I order something ‘cutesy’ or ‘more fit for a tiny prey’ and then you say some other patronizing thing, maybe even suggest I get a light beer, but then I roll my eyes and still order a beer.” She passively rested her chin on her paw, “In the end, I’ll be sitting here, drinking the glass of beer you brought me. So let’s cut the chit chat and get me my beer okay?”

The fox chuckled in amusement. He’s never been near a bunny before, but if they were all feisty like her, maybe he’d hang out with them more, he doubts it though. Even though they’re evolved, foxes and bunnies don’t usually get along, something about being natural enemies or whatever. So he gets her a glass of beer but not without adding a carrot garnish first, just to spite her.

“Here ya go, Carrots.” He smugly placed the glass in front of her, making sure she saw his artful piece of garnish.

The bunny flicked the carrot stick towards him, landing on his forehead and rolling off his muzzle. “Oh boy, a beer and a free side of snide? Must be my lucky day.” And with that she returned to scrolling on her phone, never looking back his way.

Nick, on the other hand, couldn’t stop stealing glances at the feisty little rabbit that rendered him speechless. She had opened a folder and was busily writing stuff down while searching something on her phone. Nick leaned back on a counter and decided to read her. Being an ex con-mammal, he was really good at figuring out other mammals. She was obviously feisty and witty – anybody who heard their banter could infer that – but she was also very hardworking. Based on how she went to a pub alone, didn’t socialize with the other mammals, was quick to end their conversation, and dressed in a boring pink flannel shirt and blue jeans, Nick could tell that she’s spent a good part of her life working hard to achieve something, neglecting to care about the normal things mammals usually worried about. Nick was already coming up with ideas to con her to stop working and talk to him again when he heard someone else talking to her. He inched over to see a lynx sitting too closely next to her.

“What’s a cute little bunny like you doing here alone?” The lynx lightly dragged a claw down one of Judy’s flopped ears. “What’s the matter? Not having fun? Come with me to my place and I’ll show you a real good time.” He purred, his entire paw now caressing both of her ears.

Nick was ready to pounce the lynx right then and there but stopped when Judy stood up on her stool and looked at the lynx straight in the eye. She grabbed his paw and twisted it off of her ears. The lynx winced in pain.

“First of all, don’t call me cute. Secondly, I don’t need a shifty low-life like you to tell me what to do.” She packed her stuff and hopped off the bar stool. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a life to get back to.”

As she passed him, the lynx grabbed her by her ears and raised her to his face. “What? A bunny refusing to get into bed? Don’t act so high and mighty, you dirty slut! Don’t forget, you’re just a dumb bunny! Good for nothing but se – AARRGHH!”

He dropped Judy as Nick’s clenched paw connected with his jaw. The lynx retaliated and jabbed Nick in the gut, and then swung his other fist and punched him in the cheek. Nick stumbled back but regained enough composure to try and throw in a few more punches. He missed the lynx completely and was soon straddled by him, repeatedly being punched in the muzzle. Then, a grey blur flashed to the side of Nick’s vision and two large grey paws landed on the side of the lynx face, sending him flying off of the fox’s body. Judy straightened her shirt and walked towards the unconscious lynx and checked for a pulse. After being satisfied, she went back to Nick and helped him up.

She grimaced at the sight of Nick’s bruised and bloody face. “Oh sweet cheese and crackers! I need to get you to a hospital!” she said, wrapping her arm around his waist as best she could. Nick stiffened (at the touch of her paw or at the word ‘hospital’, he wasn’t sure), “No thanks, Carrots. I’m quite fine, see.” He forced a toothy and rather goofy smile at her.

She laughed at the odd sight but insisted. “No, you’re not fine. Your nose is dripping blood like a faucet and your eye is turning blue like a blueberry!” She placed her other paw on his arm, slowly guiding him out of the pub. “Come on, Slick. I’m not leaving you until you go to the hospital.”

Nick suggestively raised an eyebrow at her, “You can stay by my side for as long as you want, Sweetheart – OW!”

Judy punched Nick lightly in the arm. “You saw what I did to that lynx, don’t make me do it to you.”

Nick straightened. “Yes ma’am!” Once they were out of the pub, he stopped and looked at her. “Seriously though, Carrots. I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

Judy could see the fear and desperation in his eyes as he pleaded. Whatever reason he has, it seemed important, so she decided not to push him. “Alright. Then do you have a First Aid kit at home?”

“Umm…Does Vodka and a few dirty rags count?” He joked.

Judy rolled her eyes. “Nope. I guess you’re coming home with me.”

“Woah there Carrots, buy me dinner first – OW!”

Another jab from the ferocious bunny and Nick was quiet the rest of the walk home.