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Bad Blood (A "Sick With Longing" Sequel)

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Blind Item

Shhh! News

What actor’s semi-bad year got infinitely worse once he started “dating” this global pop singing sensation? Industry insiders are telling him to bite the bullet and escape his contract obligations in any way possible, but the people on said actor’s payroll are digging their heels in to try and right the sinking ship. You could have called this gentleman close to A-list only a few months ago. Now he’ll be lucky to grab B.

What’s worse? Some of his peers are whispering none too softly that he’s getting what he deserves.

 

 

We’re Longing for Days Past

Rumourroom.co.uk

Dear Readers,

A year can make all the difference, can’t it? We’re in as much disbelief as you over this whole Tom Hiddleston/Taylor Swift debacle. It must be said that for someone with such a carefully calculated public image, Hiddles has totally lost his mind and gone off the deep end. (Kudos to you, dear anonymous blogger, who joked that maybe he’d contracted some brain-eating bacteria in the wilds of Vietnam during filming of Skull Island!)

Are we in denial over our fast-fading, once red-hot crush on T-Hiddy? No. We’ve been getting a lot of tip-offs, sweet readers, about just how fake this whole “relationship” is. Not that we needed any, of course. The whiplash of headlines for the past few months of, “are they?” or, “aren’t they?” and the breaking up and getting back together and the engagement rumours and endless debates are bringing “fake” to a whole new level for us.

Rule numero uno here at Rumour Room: if you’re going to do a pap stroll, do it right. Don’t ask us to comment on the trotting out of mummy, sister, and niece. We might regurgitate. Has anyone ever seen Tom so uncomfortable and rehearsed?

Mr. Loquacious is suddenly stunned silent, isn’t he?

Indeed, loyal gossipers, it was just shy of a year ago that we were fawning over Tom for different reasons – especially the lovely Kate Michael, still quietly considered to be one of the greatest assets in the Hiddleston camp. Safe to say that after she resigned her position with Prosper UK, it was all downhill for Loki. Too bad he screwed that up.

Scroll through our archives if you need to get caught up.

Here’s hoping for a gossip miracle, dear readers,

Rumour Room

 

 

Tom Hiddleston’s Instagram @twhiddleston

2 posts

829k followers

17 following

 

 

Luke J. Windsor’s Twitter @lukejwindsor

Luke J. Windsor Retweeted

@ShhhNews has the latest, greatest photos of Tom and Taylor having dinner the other night #celebculture #romantic

 

 

 

To: “Kate Michael” kmichael@chch.ox.ac.uk

F rom: “David Layne” dlayne@chch.ox.ac.uk

Subject: Well Done!

Kate,

Proud to say that I purchased a copy of your (finally) published book and read it within a day this past weekend! I must admit I wasn’t too happy that you wouldn’t let any of us on staff conference with you on your work (read: take a sneak peek), but you’ve really produced a beaut of a piece! Worth the wait. And not something I would normally read, I must admit.

It truly is pleasantly surprising that a professor of Victorian Literature can produce such a forthright nonfiction effort. Did they not make you sign any NDAs when you left your previous position?

Anyway, just wanted to applaud a colleague on her marvelous work. We’re so pleased to have hired you and Janet and I would like to start you on the track to a tenured position in the near future. Let’s schedule a lunch after the start-of-term madness settles down, yes?

Dave

 

 

To: “David Layne” dlayne@chch.ox.ac.uk

From: “Kate Michael” kmichael@chch.ox.ac.uk

Subject: Re: Well Done!

David!!

I’m laughing myself simple that our resident Milton scholar has delved into the murky waters of the entertainment industry! Truly a “paradise lost” situation, if you’ll pardon the joke. ;)

Would love to have a sit-down with you and Janet; name the time and place and I’m there. Now that the book is done, I actually have some free moments when I’m not lecturing or conferencing with students.

P.S. My former employer(s) felt like such shit after I quit that they reneged on their NDAs in a bid to keep me on with them. I had them sign some legal documentation for me to confirm I had no red tape in my way and still resigned. I was quite good at playing the game there, for a while at least. Give my love to your sweet wife…the flowers she sent last week were gorgeous! I should write another book just to get treated this well all the time, haha!

K

 

 

Former Prosper UK Employee Pens Juicy Tell-All Tinged with Academic Flavour

Daily Mail

If there was any doubt about the state of Tom Hiddleston and former assistant Kate Michael’s relationship when things ended last year, there certainly isn’t anymore.

The university professor-turned personal assistant-turned university author’s first published effort was released earlier this week to what is unanimously being described as “voracious public interest.”

After quietly resigning her position at Prosper UK several months ago, Michael relocated from London to Oxford (amid a great deal of chatter) to resume her teaching career with a specialization in 19th Century British Literature and Victorian Studies. No one knew at the time that an eminently readable, highly engrossing, and fundamentally useful book would come of her time away from the spotlight.

Perhaps Miss Michael wrote the piece as a way to work through the very public scrutiny she faced while working with Hiddleston, not to mention what appeared to be a very bitter professional – and some say personal – end. For when one reads the book, it does detail in layman’s terms what it's like for an outsider to enter the entertainment industry and try to make the most of it. There are veiled moments of truth scattered copiously throughout – dropping obvious hints to readers about the true nature of Hiddleston, his modus operandi, and the inner workings of their “relationship.”

Most interestingly, the beautiful young scholar interjects throwbacks to famous literary works while writing about her experiences at Prosper UK and within the harsh glare of the media spotlight. There are sly allusions to public figures that Michael has renamed after characters in literature, like George Wickham of Pride and Prejudice fame. Even the book’s title comes from an old slang Victorian-era term meaning “secret, shady, or doubtful.” Several people are even commenting at the cheekiness of such a potentially damaging work; for example, one chapter is entitled, “How to Properly Market a Film Like Crimson Peak Courtesy of Someone Who Knows Gothic Romance.”

Skilamalink is available wherever books are sold.

 

 

Blind Item

Shhh! News

So how bad is the professional fallout when you’ve managed to make a staged relationship last only a handful of months before things begin imploding at an unbelievable pace?

If you’re the female portion of the arrangement worth millions upon millions, not too bad – there won’t be much.

I f you’re the barely well known male, more and more opportunities are going to dry up. He already lost out on a popular modeling campaign and definitely didn’t do himself any double-agent favours.

 

 

 

Our Faves in the News Once More!

Rumourroom.co.uk

Dear Readers,

We know you stalk the blind items just as frequently as we do – and we’re here to tell you that two of the most recent ones via Shhh! News couldn’t be any more obvious. Here at Rumour Room, we won’t insult your intelligence by telling you who they’re about.

We know you already know.

They’re also both true. Anyone with two eyes and half a brain can see and understand that.

But what’s interesting is that our girl Kate Michael has emerged from her underground spot in Oxfordshire. Timing’s interesting, no?

Like you, we got our hands on Skilamalink the day it came out and read it cover to cover obsessively searching for goods. Our girl totally delivered – it was gossip, it was glam, and it was genius! Not only does Kate look excellent in couture, she can pen like a philosopher and dish like a diva.

We feel smarter and savvier already, dear readers,

Rumour Room

 

 

 

To: “Kate Michael” kmichael@chch.ox.ac.uk

From: “Luke J. Windsor” ljwindsor@prosperpr.co.uk

Subject: Dinner

I read it, Yank. Could’ve been worse, so thanks for that. We need to have dinner.

 

 

 

To: “Luke J. Windsor” ljwindsor@prosperpr.co.uk

From: “Kate Michael” kmichael@chch.ox.ac.uk

Subject: Re: Dinner

This is my work email. I’m not doing that. Try again.

K

 

 

 

To: “Kate Michael” kmichael@gmail.com

From: “Luke J. Windsor” ljwindsor@prosperpr.co.uk

Subject: Dinner Again

Sorry, Yank! Busy day here.

Like I said, we need to have dinner. It’s been awhile since we’ve caught up. I can come to you or have a car sent so you can come to me. Let me know.

Luke

 

 

 

To: “Luke J. Windsor” ljwindsor@prosperpr.co.uk

From: “Kate Michael” kmichael@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Dinner Again

I can’t say I’m surprised to hear from you at the moment, darling lobsterback. It’s funny that we kept in touch regularly for a while but then I suddenly seemed to drop off your radar a few months ago.

Timing is everything, isn’t it?

I’m not coming to London. Let me know when you’re around my part of the country and I’ll see what I can do in terms of my schedule. If this is a dinner to talk about the book, I’m canceling.

K

 

 

 

To: “Kate Michael” kmichael@gmail.com

From: “Luke J. Windsor” ljwindsor@prosperpr.co.uk

Subject: Re: Re: Dinner Again

I’m coming to you; no book talk. Noted.

Luke

 

 

 

To: “Luke J. Windsor” ljwindsor@prosperpr.co.uk

From: “Kate Michael” kmichael@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Dinner Again

I bet I know what this is about, don’t I?

 

 

 

To: “Kate Michael” kmichael@gmail.com

From: “Luke J. Windsor” ljwindsor@prosperpr.co.uk

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Dinner Again

Desperate times, Kate…

 

 

 

To: “Luke J. Windsor” ljwindsor@prosperpr.co.uk

From: “Kate Michael” kmichael@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Dinner Again

Son of a bitch, Windsor.

You’re buying.

And I want wine.