Youngjae was seen as the bright star in his team. The boy with a face for a smile. A clingy cutie with a laughter that could fill an arena. He had a timid innocence about him that was easy to become fond of, and he always seemed of high spirits at sour times, and near failures.
Youngjae was the newest addition to the group, and although shy and naive, gelled well into the team's dynamic, gaining family in familiarity and shared moments. He was very thankful for his fellow members, as he knew they'd done everything to make him feel included, and a part of it all. Especially his hyungs', whom he owed countless comfort sessions and encouraging words to.
It was very rare for him to feel the effect of being the latest addition, ‘the trainee with lack of training’; the 'freeloader who hadn't had to face years of training so hard', as quoted by an ex JYP trainee who confronted him after he was confirmed as the last member of JYP’s GOT7.
He remembered how upset he'd been at first; locking himself in the allocated dorm room he'd been given. But of course, Jaebum hyung was the one to bring him out – with a sturdy scold mixed with caring advice and sweet reminders.
Youngjae looked up to Jaebum hyung a lot. He knew he'd sound biased if he were to say Jaebum was the best leader, but he truly believed it. Although quick-tempered, his leader had the ability to take initiative when a situation was borderline deteriorating. He took the burdens of six other people, and not once complained on it. Jaebum was able to balance taking lead when necessary, with being naturally compassionate and sweet. He was the one who went beyond his way to make sure Youngjae settled in, to reassure him that he was doing well, and give tips on bettering himself skilfully and mentally.
His leader had such a strong presence in the practice room, that it was hard for Youngjae not to feel intimidated by him at times. It's not that Jaebum was unapproachable, he knew that if he were to approach the leader with a worry he'd help him no hesitation. Youngjae just respected him enough to know that he wanted his leader to be proud of his achievements, to show him he could follow his lead well.
The older was stern when things needed to move forward, and as Youngjae had lacked the training experience the other boys had been through, he made mistakes often.
As today for example. Youngjae had nearly tripped over during a heel spin as part of the choreo for 'GOT7's huge comeback track' in the New Year, and he felt disgruntled as soon as his eyes met Jaebum's in the mirror. Of course Jaebum chuckled his mistake off, telling him; "The choreo is new Jae, don't look so disheartened already." He'd rolled his eyes at that, telling the elder he wouldn't be saying the same thing if their manager was looking in on their progress. Jinyoung had snorted at this in agreement.
Over the past year Youngjae could admit to have bonded closest to Jaebum of all the other members; although he'd gained a strong relationship with all of them. Apparently whenever a company staff member was on the search for Youngjae, he'd always be “Stuck to JB leader hyung's side” as Jackson joked.
Youngjae and Jaebum were also roommates, and even though they'd spent the summer rooming separately because of awful air conditioning, they were 'back together now', the very words coming from Jaebum hyung during their 'Stop Stop It' showcase.
His heart had fluttered at that.
Then again his heart had fluttered many a time when it came to his leader.
Youngjae knew he liked men since the age of fifteen, where he'd found himself fantasising over the male leads of movies over the female. Picturing himself as the terribly cliché damsel in distress, who was led to safety with the help of a handsomely strong hero.
Now Choi Youngjae fancied himself as an individual who would be glad to eat cucumber before becoming a fraud, but he wasn't stupid, he knew this little secret was best kept as a detail for the author, and a blackout blind to the reader. However naive he was, he had sense.
Sense that recognised how his leader hyung had managed to capture his attention. How it took Youngjae several months to depict that hero worship and attraction were two different playing fields. And however much he looked up to Jaebum, Youngjae knew that the admiration didn't just stop there. He couldn’t keep lying to himself anymore.
There was no denying that physically Jaebum was a sight for the masses. He was gorgeous no doubt. An incredibly attractive young man that had every charm needed to woo a nun into sinful confession.
He liked to think about his smile when he was on his own, how making his leader laugh and flash him that toothy treasure made him feel all warm inside.
A smile to stun, not to shun; as Youngjae put it.
But yes, physically he knew he was attracted to the elder. And god, during dance practice didn't he know it. Ears glowing red at the tips whenever Jaebum held his toasty-warm palms on the young vocalist's hips, helping him get his pivot-motion perfected. Or the playful eye contact made through the mirror, when Youngjae did a little too much body waving then what was really needed. Of course he would glare jokingly back at him, but he would also blush softly, and Jaebum’s stupid sweaty form for the next hour or so.
He could just about handle that though.
The real torture was at night. And primarily the fact that a sleeping Jaebum was a human-vine.
To elaborate Im Jaebum was a cuddler, promoting Youngjae from bandmate to teddy bear during the nights. Not that he was complaining – but yes he definitely was. This shit was hard.
Speaking of; having a hot-blooded Im Jaebum forcing your back into solid chest and warmth; strong arms tightly locked firmly around your waist; sweet pants of unconscious breath hitting the back of your neck; doesn't help diminish a newly acknowledged 'crush'. But of course Youngjae just shivered at the late-night touches, willing his subconscious to take him out.
It was the emotional attraction Youngjae had to battle to come to terms with though.
It was listening to Jaebum talk about girls and feeling uneasy and disappointed. It was wanting his attention. Wanting to touch him, to hold his hand until they were clammy. Imagining them singing sappy love songs together. He wanted to let the older know how strong he thought he was; how hard he has worked; how genuine he has become. He wanted him to know how proud he was of him.
But of course he knew better.
He knew this stupid silly crush on his leader was deadweight.
Youngjae was sprawled out on the scuffed practice room floor, panting heavily. Sweat trespassed on his fleshly-showered skin. He'd taken an exam earlier on in the day, and had to miss practice, so he'd figured he'd review the dance tapes to improve his forms while the other members went out for their well-deserved lunch. He needed to burn of some of the frustration of revising so hard for a test, where completely new questions came up that threw him completely off. Youngjae wouldn't seem like the type to be deterred by this, but he was a borderline perfectionist after all; and if he knew he could've done better it lays sour with him for a while.
That's why he's at the studio now.
Burning off some poorly-managed stress, and giving him an objective to focus on.
Well he was doing that until he landed wrong on the same step for the umpteenth time this past hour, and threw himself on the floor in self-pity, music still blasting away.
He was about to transition into the foetal position of fury when the music paused abruptly during the chorus; and he heard an all too pleasant, all too familiar voice reach his ears.
Youngjae sat up to see, which made his stomach flutter, a concerned looking Jaebum hyung leaning up the table where the speakers were placed – arms crossed.
Damn the world and damn his arms.
Youngjae got to his feet, with little-to-none grace, and gave his leader a look of what he hoped was pure innocence.
"All is fine Jaebumie hyung, just peachy,” he added over-enthusiastically.
Jaebum gave the younger a look. An almost mocking smile appearing on his painfully good-looking face.
Dammit Youngjae control.
"The truth if you may," he replied seriously. Youngjae looked at him stubbornly for a few moments before cracking under the pressure of the heavy gaze his leader had a habit of using when he was in interrogation mode. There it was again. That easy switch up from playful hyung to stern, authoritative, leader Jaebum. The younger sighed before answering.
"I'm fine—really. There's this one move though hyung-- I just can't get it right," Youngjae complained distastefully, he was about one mistake away from stomping his feet, exhaling angrily at his reflection. “Everyone else makes it look so easy, I’m useless.”
“Don’t say things like that,” Jaebum says warningly, “You’re as necessary to this team as everyone else.”
The older of the two scanned the other for a second, giving the younger an urge to hide. But then Jaebum shrugged off his jacket, leaving him in a tight-fitted black vest. What the hell was this? Youngjae was almost ready to jump out of a tree, and the object of his much forbidden affection has decided on a spontaneous strip-show.
How incredibly unfair.
He was stressed about grades all but a second ago, a dumb dance move at best, and now he's got male anatomy on the brain.
Jaebum started towards the smaller.
"Patience – is a virtue Jae," Jaebum chuckled at the younger's cute pouting. "It's doing you no good if you're so tense during practice." The elder was behind him now, hands squeezing the young vocalist's shoulders repeatedly, beginning to massage them. He met Youngjae's eyes in the mirror, giving him that infamous cheeky smile of his, before leaning into Youngjae’s ear. "Loosen up a bit kid," came a totally unnecessary whisper.
Calm yourself Youngjae. Stop being pathetic.
Youngjae huffed once he processed what Jaebum had said. Keeping his warm cheeks at bay, he crossed his arms and glowered at the elder.
"I'm—I’m not a kid!" He whines ever so maturely. "I'm more mature than Jackson, why don't you call him kid?" he states, flicking his eyes from his hyung's to his fidgeting fingers as he tries to will his heart to calm the hell down. Jaebum’s skilful hands continue to massage his shoulders. Working his shoulders hard, Youngjae fought the urge to sigh.
He hears a soft laugh from his leader.
"Because you're cute."
Youngjae did well not to choke on his tongue at that. Eyes shot up to meet the leaders' yet again, catching the fondness in those breath-taking eyes he tries his damned hardest to avoid.
He's giving him that smile again, and he does not need this right now, Youngjae internally groans.
"S-shut up," he managed to grumble out, taking his eyes away from the teasing beauty to look at his reflection, cursing the gods for making him a plain Jane. Also cursing the gods for making him stutter at the most inconvenient of times.
Nice going Youngjae, might as well get it tattooed on your face that you want his dick.
Jaebum laughed gently, removing his hands from Youngjae's shoulders, opting in circling them tightly around the blushing boy’s waist. He began to sway the pair a bit, almost like they were slow dancing; but also the same way a mother would rock their sleepy child.
Because that's all he sees me as. Youngjae thinks. A child.
"Look at you. Blushing so cutely because you were complimented – how adorable," Jaebum teased.
Jaebum placed his chin on the younger's shoulder, so he was now looking at both of their sweaty forms sandwiched together, through the mirror.
Their eyes met again, and the elder was giving Youngjae that teasing look again – The one that sets his world ablaze. His heart clenches tenfold.
He's too close, Youngjae panics. He began to feel warmer, his temperature soaring at the incredibly intimate contact that his leader was sharing with him.
Youngjae felt the familiar fluttering in his stomach grow like rapid fire. And a quick glance at his own face confirmed the prominent stains of pink, clustering on his cheeks and down his neck.
This was getting dangerous and the younger was close to screwed.
The very last thing he needed was his favourite hyung to find out about his twisted little crush and feel disgust whenever they'd have to work together. They were the vocal-line couple after all. He couldn't ruin that. He wouldn't ruin that.
He had to bolt before he bolted.
After a shaky exhale Youngjae made to grip onto his leaders' tensed arms, still securely around his waist, and tried to unwrap the human vine to escape the heat that was getting him incredibly worked up.
"Uh it’s – it’s okay now hyung. I'm not t-tense anymore," Youngjae managed to stammer out, almost as coherently as he'd planned.
It would seem his escape plan had the opposite affect though, as the elder's arms tightened their locked position around the young vocalist.
Intense eyes met vibrantly-lost ones through the mirror.
And Jesus Christ if looks could kill.
"Well that's a lie," Jaebum whispered softly into the junction of Youngjae’s ear, much to his distress. "I can feel your heart Jae—It's beating so fast."
The elder let out a breath of air onto his earlobe at the word 'so', and there was just something about the way Jaebum hissed out 'fast' that had Youngjae close to sobbing. Hands clenched onto his leader secure arms, keeping him anchored. “What’s got you this shaken hm?”
A shaky breath was taken.
"J-Jaebum", Youngjae choked out, escaping the intensity of his leader's gaze. "Let go of me", he squeezes the elders arms, "P-please."
There was silence for a while. Youngjae kept his gaze down, but he could feel those heavy eyes on him as he tried to calm down the pink heat to his face.
Then they were moving. He could feel himself being manoeuvred forwards, towards the mirrors. They stopped moving after a couple paces, and Youngjae could see from a quick glance upwards that they were one step away from the mirror.
"W--," Youngjae was cut off by the feeling of solid heat, pressed deliciously against his back, and his ass. Oh god. Jaebum had brought their bodies close, moulding perfectly together, like Jaebum wanted to feel everything; wanted Youngjae to feel everything.
How can his leader not realise what this is doing to him right now? He's messing around, he must be. Youngjae has never felt so unbalanced in his life. He never been this turned on either.
Jaebum's barely touched him and he's a mess.
He felt his leader nuzzle into his neck, and inhale his scent, and then the boy shivered at the words spoken into his skin.
"Jae – Look up at yourself for me," Jaebum whispered, his tone as compassionate as it was commanding, "Look up for me love."
Youngjae shook his head at first. Shame washing over him, as he felt a flurry of tingles at the use of the pet-name Jaebum had just whispered into his flushed skin.
"Jae," the elder whispered slightly displeasingly, but still tenderly, "You listen to me well usually don't you – hm?" A croaked whisper of yes from the younger leads him to continue, "Then will you follow my instruction? My sweet little singer, will you listen to me?"
My sweet little singer.
Youngjae's chest tightens.
Youngjae raises his head to look at his reflection. He gasps at himself. He looks wrecked. So unbelievably dealt with, so dishevelled. His purity masked with the complete desire that is written all over his face. His cheeks bloomed to a scorching pink, eyes glazed, bottom lip between teeth. He's made this so obvious now.
Why hasn't Jaebum pushed him away?
Is he going to yell at him?
But then Jaebum whispers and it melts him completely.
"Look at how delectable you look right now Jae. So fucking pretty. So – tempting," a kiss to his shoulder, and Youngjae whimpers. The words and the physical stimulation overwhelming, he had never been so sensitive to touch before. This feeling was enchanting.
One of Jaebum's arms unwinds from the younger's waist, trailing down his waist, fingertips dancing over his right hipbone before dipping easily into his sweatpants, cupping him though his underwear. And slowly he started to stroke him. Oh.
Another gasp escaped from Youngjae's swollen mouth. And Youngjae grabbed Jaebum's forearm, attempting to stop his ministrations. What for exactly, he didn't know.
"H-hyung—," Youngjae whimpered out. Right arm doing nothing to hold still his leader's palm that was stroking him with more urgency, more fire.
"You sing so well Jae. I bet you moan beautifully too," Jaebum panted into the younger's ear. Hand picking up pace, picking up movement, and digging deeper into Youngjae's warmth.
"Mm," Youngjae moaned out wantonly, his grip on his leader’s arm now subconsciously pushing to move faster, to press harder.
"I can't wait to taste you my lovely boy. Yes, that's it, move your hips with me. That's a good boy." Jaebum was grinding against Youngjae now, and the smaller was whirling his hips into the addictive friction of his hyung's hand. He couldn't help the increase in moans and gasps escaping his mouth. The deep rumbles of groans and grunts that Jaebum was sounding in his ear. The overwhelming feeling of the situation, of the fact that he was the one making Jaebum feel good.
He was so close.
"Yes," Youngjae whispered out, followed by moans of 'more' and 'please'. They were both rocking together now. Youngjae moaning in every breath and Jaebum's heavy panting echoing the silent studio room. If someone were to walk in now. To see Youngjae so lost in it, making the dirtiest sounds…
Tension was building up in Youngjae's core, he could feel the pressure building, the pleasure heightening.
Jaebum could feel it too.
"Come on – Youngjae come for me." Jaebum choked out. Sounding wrecked himself.
Youngjae throws his head back, whimpering as he reached his peak. His whole body convulsing as Jaebum's hand showed no mercy as he sucked on the back of the Younger's neck. And just like that Youngjae came, soon to be followed by a breathless Jaebum.
The practice room was filled with heavy breathing and soft gasps for a while. It only took Jaebum's hand to move back around Youngjae's waist for the younger to come back down to earth. His face completely flushing at the situation.
They met each other's eyes in the mirror reflection again. And before Youngjae could turn any redder Jaebum gave him a playful wink.
"Now how about I help you out with this step you've been struggling with, sweetheart?”
Two weeks ago from this date, Youngjae had his first sexual encounter with Jaebum.
For his diary entry he also noted that apart from the occasional self-splash session, it was his first ever sexual encounter with anyone. He was as virginal as any self-proclaimed Mary, untouched snow on a crisp winter morning and so forth.
It had also been two weeks since the ever-courageous Choi Youngjae fled out of the practice room, leaving a conflicted Im Jaebum behind. Exiting the premises with less grace then what could be deemed socially acceptable given the circumstance; some flailing and falling may have occurred.
As soon as Jaebum returned to his playful antics after their 'moment', a flush of dread had hit the boy, tenfold.
Here Youngjae was; completely vulnerable, his feeling's peeled open by the prying hands of his leader, quite literally, and the elder was acting like nothing was different, like nothing had changed between the two.
And that pest of insecurity voicing in the back of his head got the better of him.
He's just a horny hot-blooded male, he said it himself he was releasing tension. It doesn't mean he feels anything for you. Probably knows nobody else will want to touch you. He knows you like him now, but he'll pretend he doesn't.
What a nice way of delivering rejection – served with a sympathy bow.
Youngjae didn't give much thought after that and was out the door before anyone could utter the word fool.
Since that day he has almost broken bones trying avoid his leader as much as possible, making friendly for the camera's but behind closed doors making sure that little interaction, whether it touches or eye-contact, would be made with the elder.
He could feel the tension between them without looking at him, Jaebum's eye's a permanent tint of disappointment whenever Youngjae moved from his touches, that the younger may have recognised if he'd managed to look his hyung in the eye.
He knew this method was silly and immature but it was working for the moment.
Now he was in the present; reflecting on his irresponsible behaviour and involuntary feelings, when the man of the hour, and the man of Youngjae's dreams makes an appearance.
Jaebum walks in, hands hidden in the pockets of his nicely-fitted black slacks; Warm smile on his face and kind eyes settling down onto the Youngjae who’s sat cross-legged on their shared mattress.
Youngjae quickly fixes his eyes back on the book he was reading— or at least pretending to read, hand already beginning to clam up from the leaders sudden intrusion.
As he hears movement he glances back up to see his leader has his back towards him, all broad shoulders and lean muscle, available for admiration even through that damn tight black V-neck he has on. Strong arms that had held him, and touched him intimately only a week before.
Youngjae get a grip.
Yes a grip on his shoulders as his strong arms wrapped trembling thighs around his waist pushing him gently into-
Bad Youngjae. That didn’t even happen. Now you’re just wishful thinking.
Youngjae's eyes flitters down the expanse of the elder's sturdy form, eyes resting on the curve of his spine as he moved, then glances down at the curve of his ass and the tightness of his thighs in those appallingly-fitted slacks.
His face tinged a pinkish hue, and Youngjae mentally scolded himself again for being such a hormonal dumbass, pining after a guy that was so clearly out of his league.
Jaebum seems to be in search for something, as he rustles in the adjacent drawers, humming softly as he opens and closes each draw with gentle hands.
Jaebum hadn't offered a word since his arrival, and Youngjae suddenly felt himself hurting because this was all his fault, he missed his leader's company, and crush aside he has always valued their special relationship.
He needed to say something.
But what would he say? What could he say?
"L—,” Youngjae stopped when he heard how rough his voice sounded, sand-paper heavy, and took a second to clear his congested throat before continuing. "Looking for something Hyung?" He softly questioned, gnawing a tread-way into his bottom lip when Jaebum halted his quest at the sound, and turned around to meet him with those tender eyes.
Youngjae let his book hit his lap.
"Mhm," the elder agreed, hands diving back into his pockets as he leaned casually against the drawers. His eyebrows creased a little as he elaborated for the curious youngster. "I can't find my navy sweater anywhere—even after I barrelled Jinyoung about wearing my clothes he remains adamant he hasn't wore it."
Youngjae smiled slightly at the leader's explanation, because Jinyoung had a habit of borrowing clothes only to stash them in his room. Youngjae remembers 'losing' his denim jacket after a music bank, only to find the lost item nestled in the depths of his thief-of-a-hyung's wardrobe.
He was also smiling because despite his immaturity in these past two weeks, Jaebum spoke to him with the same fondness he's always reserved just for him.
It only then clicked into place what Jaebum was saying, and the younger took a sly glance at the navy sleeves he was picking at, wanting to bury himself in Jinyoung's stolen goods collection.
He was wearing his shirt.
Shit this wasn't good.
Usually Youngjae wouldn't give a rats-ass about borrowing clothes of anyone, occasionally borrowing Jaebum's clothes when he felt his own wardrobe lacked invention.
But after two weeks ago, when he was handled so intimately by the elder; after leaving the practice room terrified of what Jaebum would do upon the discovery of his true feelings, everything Jaebum was off-limits. And the mere fact that here he was, sitting in his favourite hyung's sweater, that smelled so Jaebum that it ached – was giving off the very exact unrequited-pining vibes the smaller did not want to give.
How embarrassing. Jaebum will definitely say something now.
Or he could run again.
No, Youngjae scolded himself, you need to deal with your shit before you clog up everything.
He concludes to playing dumb and hoping that Jaebum is oblivious enough to not catch on to his current attire and go elsewhere in search of the stupid sweater. At least that would give him time to yank it off with inhuman speed and throw it out the window with no regrets, minor casualties.
But of course the always-attentive Im Jaebum wasn't at all oblivious.
"Maybe Jackson... ," Youngjae offers, words dying out when he notices Jaebum's gaze travelling downwards, gaze lingering silently for a second before lifting back up to meet his again, a heat in his eyes that wasn't present a second ago filtered in.
The slight twitch of the leader's mouth sought that something unseemly was going through his head.
"Choi Youngjae," Jaebum murmured lazily, a lick of a scold in his tone, mouth now tilting upwards to create his infamous lady-killer (the irony) smile, which left youngjae with a parade of butterflies.
"Um—yes?" he rushed out, feigning innocence. His outburst startled himself and he sat with his hands in his lap, blinking heavily. Face gets warmer as the blush clusters around the tops of his cheeks.
Jaebum had noticed this, and a fond sigh floated through his lips.
Always so pretty in pink.
The elder changed his footing and crossed one leg over the other, still leaning against the drawers as his arms came to cross over each other. His gaze was playful, but still had a bite to it, an unbelievable smile highlighting his face.
"You've been avoiding me like a bad smell for weeks Jae-."
"No! That –," the younger interrupted, but muted after one playful disapproving glance from the elder.
"--And you will sit here now, on our bed, wearing my favourite shirt – that is adorably too big for you might I add," cue the blush, "and have the very nerve to act all innocent with me?"
Jaebum's tone wasn't harsh but the scold had a seriousness to it that caused the younger to huff out a breath and lower his eyes.
He felt awful.
"You're right...I -- I'm really sorry Jaebumie..." Youngjae whispered out, voice lilting when he called his hyung by his nickname.
Youngjae was focusing on regulating his breathing when he heard a soft sigh come from in front of him.
"Mind if I..?" A smooth voice sounded, somewhat gingerly.
Youngjae darted his eyes upward quickly to see Jaebum gesturing towards the space on the mattress in front of him, and then quickly looked back down towards his fidgeting fingers that were picking nervously at his (the leader's) too-long sleeves. It was a habit Youngjae was still working at to break.
"Uh...sure," the younger awkwardly sounded, adjusting his position slightly.
A moment of silence flooded the room, uncharacteristically so.
Youngjae lifted his book from his lap for something to do, feeling too exposed just sitting under a watchful gaze.
He jumped when he felt a warm palm press onto his knee and he looked away from the page of blurry metaphors, back up to his sexy leader's devilishly good-looking face, eyes magnetising into each other with a sense of settlement and sentiment from both parties.
"I think it's time we talked about what happened a couple weeks ago Jae," Jaebum calmly stated, thumb rubbing circles on the junction of skin between the younger's knee and thigh of his crossed legs.
Heat found its way back onto Youngjae's cheeks, and he begged his body to hide his immediate reaction to the leader's words as he recollected the way he fell apart two weeks ago in front of the man he regularly dreamed about. He kept his gaze away from the heated touch of his leader and looked back into his eyes, willing desperately for some miracle surge of confidence to overwhelm him.
However Youngjae was not confident, and he'd never felt so vulnerable. He could not handle the rejection.
"It's fine hyung...we...we don't need to." Youngjae quietly murmured.
Jaebum lifted his other hand to rest on the side of the younger's face, palm cupping his cheek in a heated mould, thumb tracing gently over the mole underneath Youngjae's eye.
"Yes we do Youngjae," came a gentle response, as gentle as his caresses. Other hand trailing further toward the younger's soft inner thigh, the pads of his fingers tapping rhythmically in time with the younger's soft panting. "I need to know why one minute I had you feeling so good against me--and the next minute I didn't."
Those heated words sent Youngjae's insides to Mercury.
Youngjae clenched his eyes shut at the words. No connotations there, each word so direct he'd felt them like a lash to his gut.
"Jaebum..." he managed to croak out, voice failing to reach much more than a whisper.
"What is it Jae?" The hand cupping the younger's face skittered down some to touch his jawline, thumb pressing into his bottom lip, pulling it free from the smaller's nibbling, finally dropping his hand down to place over Youngjae's clenched fists lying in his lap. He gave them an affectionate squeeze of encouragement.
Youngjae's blush crept down his neck, blood rushing to his checks and scattering across his cheekbones prettily.
Jaebum was always so affectionate towards him.
The calloused thumb of his leaders' other hand was now teasing slow circles into the expanse of fleshy thigh, just underneath the hem of his boxer shorts.
Jaebum cross-legged in front of him, was holding Youngjae's eyes with his own, keeping them locked on him as he fondly petted his little vocalist.
"You're always welcome to tell me anything Jae-- you know that...right?," he leaned forward a little, warm puffs of air faintly reaching Youngjae's face, causing his eyelashes to flutter at the sensation. Eyes full of sincerity and solace.
"Y-You already know hyung..." he whispers hesitantly, eyes starting to slightly brim with tears. He tried to keep his eyes on his leader so he could read him, despite how vulnerable he felt.
Jaebum looked concerned for a second, before his eyes showed some hint of understanding that made the younger's stomach lurch. "I need you to tell me Youngjae." Jaebum gently instructed, moving to unclasp the younger's clenched hands, resting his elbows on his own knees so he could entwine their fingers together comfortably. “It’s okay.”
The younger glanced quickly at their interlocked fingers before shakily taking in a much-needed breathe, swallowing down the pallets of anxiety building in his stomach, and blinking back the wetness clouding his vision.
The room felt stifling despite the wintery climate outside, and Youngjae's head was throbbing slightly.
Hands still entwined with the elders tightened, and Jaebum gave them another squeeze in response.
Breathe in. Hold for 7 seconds. Breathe out.
Youngjae had never been good at holding his breath.
"I'm in love with you hyung," he choked out in a hushed declaration. Immediately shying away from any reaction Jaebum were to give him, opting towards clenching his eyes shut like a young child would do to feel invisible.
Jaebum didn't let go of the hands in his grasp, his thumb tracing the back of his knuckles lightly, the touch of his hyung's warm skin calming him like a lullaby.
"Youngjae…" A pang of heat from the raw emotion off his name falling from his leaders lips. He nibbled his lip again and looked back up to meet Jaebum’s eyes, an unexpected storm swirling through the beautiful eyes of the man he had fallen in love with.
"I'm sorry," the elder whispered out, picking up one of their joined hands and twisting Youngjae's wrist enough so that he could leave tender butterfly kisses on each knuckle. The younger only watched in awe, stomach tensing as he willed himself not to move in fear of his leader pulling away.
"Hyung, why are you sorry?" Innocent confusion lacing every word.
Jaebum paused from his task he'd seemingly been distracted by, glancing upwards to look at the flushed young male who literally had no idea.
He gave the flustered younger a sweet smile.
"I seem to have made you think…you seem to feel as though those feelings aren't reciprocated. And I can't have you feeling like that's the case Jae – because it's not."
Jaebum twisted Youngjae's wrist around again so his hand was facing palm-upwards, and placed a wet kiss on his palm, closing the younger's hand into a fist. He let both of the younger's hands fall back into his lap, and reached up to brush a stray strand of hair out of his eyes.
Youngjae hadn't been given much time to process what his leader had just confessed, feeling warm palms rest on his hips, like they had just two weeks ago.
"Can I kiss you Choi Youngjae?" he fondly requested.
"What?" tumbled Youngjae’s shocked reaction.
"I want to kiss you--may I do so?" he smiled, waiting patiently for a response.
Youngjae was not expecting his day to unfold quite like this when he woke up this morning.
"Y-yes." He whispered out.
Jaebum let out a puff of relief and combed a hand through the soft locks of his favourite little dork's hair.
"This is your first kiss isn't it Jae?" However the finality in his tone made it clear he already knew the answer.
Youngjae nodded in all his virginal embarrassment, eyes still lost in his hyung's.
"Don't be embarrassed-- it's perfectly fine" Jaebum smiled tenderly, "Close your eyes for me Jae-- I'll make your first kiss memorable."
Youngjae's lashes fluttered closed as Jaebum approached carefully, sweet breath hitting the younger's pouty lips; wet where he'd nervously licked them.
"Oh and Youngjae?"
"Yes hyung?" Youngjae whispers, eyes still closed and voice filled with anticipation.
"I love you too," he exclaimed passionately, before pressing his lips onto the younger's, the new sensation enticing a trembling hitch of breath from Youngjae.
Youngjae fists clenched yet again in his lap. His heart on fire.
Jaebum pressed wet kisses on those pouty lips a few times, sometimes opting to suckle on them for that sweet taste of Youngjae he'd never grow tired of; before the younger began to relax and follow his lead, moving those pretty lips along with his, sounds their exchanges filling the room. Jaebum then begins to lick his way into the young vocalist's mouth, touching teeth before finding the wet muscle that was waiting for him.
Although shy at first, Youngjae soon began to swirl his tongue around with the elder boys', a groan from his leader sending another rippling wave to his core.
They continued to kiss until air had to be consumed, and when they pulled away Youngjae was a picture. Cheeks inflamed more vibrant than ever, lips bruised and so utterly tempting, he was so beautiful. And that dork had absolutely no idea.
"Get over here little one," Jaebum's smooth voice fondly instructed, eyes glimmering with playfulness.
"Over where?" Youngjae whispered out, glancing at the small space between them, crossed legs touching at the knees.
Jaebum let out a happy laugh, feeling giddy. "My lap, princess, my lap."
Youngjae turned scarlet at the request, but hearing the nickname, he gave his leader the most intimidating glare he could muster, which in Jaebum's eyes was impossibly cute… Impossibly cute and impossibly Youngjae, he noted.
"I’m not – Jaebum, please don't call me tha--oomf," Youngjae squeaked as he felt heated palms haul him into a straddling position onto his leaders lap; chests pressed together, warm palms made it underneath the navy sweater, onto the younger's hips, and their noses were a nudge away from brushing together.
"Ok my sweet little thing."
Jaebum hiked him up a little more so their noses were touching, ass pressed firmly into the elder's lap, and Youngjae instinctively grasped at the leader's broad shoulders, letting out another gasp of hot air.
"What would you like me to call you then little one, I recall you don't like being called kid?" Blunt nails buried into the skin of Youngaje's hips with gentle pressure and then his hips were squeezed,
"I -- Hyung I didn't mea-."
"How about sweetbottom?" He laughed out, earning a huff from the younger until he tickled him into a fit of giggles, the sound making Jaebum smile fondly for a second.
He then gave the younger the most earth-shatteringly seductive look, before leaning forward towards the side of the blonde boy's blushing face. "How about baby?" he whispered into the younger's ear hotly. And Youngjae, despite all his will power, whimpered out loud.
Jaebum leaned back and took in the younger boy's reaction, the sound the younger had given to him was addictive. Jaebum wanted to hear more of it. And Im Jaebum liked getting his own way very much so.
"Oh?" he teased, "you like it when I call you baby?" the hand on Youngjae's hips gripping tighter. "Interesting," he hummed out, leaning to nibble at a bruised bottom lip.
Jaebum then smoothed his palms downwards until they eventually had a possessive hold on Youngjae's delicious ass, pulling him down so that his ass felt so good on his clothed erection, Youngjae's member pressed into the leaders taunt stomach; creating amazing friction for them both. Youngjae moaned wantonly at how good that felt, wanting to have more of it, but not quite sure on how to get it, or ask for it.
"My baby," he declared, not missing the way Youngjae's thighs tensed around him "my baby--in my sweater--and all mine to take care of." He punctuated each word with a sloppy kiss to the younger's neck, Youngjae's arms wrapping around his neck bringing him closer.
Jaebum could feel how much he affected the younger, the atmosphere completely different to that of rushed feelings and lustful thinking two weeks ago.
And then he began rocking Youngjae on his lap, the younger panting and whimpering in his ear as encouragement.
"Yes." Youngjae sighed out, not entirely sure on why he'd said it.
"Yes?" Jaebum growled, "you want me to take care of you baby?" swirling hips increasing pace. "Want me to show you what a good boy you are. My good boy." He then flipped Youngjae onto his back, head hitting soft cushion of Jaebum's pillow and settled in between his lush thighs, rocking those hips expertly into the whimpering boy beneath him.
Youngjae spread his legs wide, lifting his torso as much as he could as his leader dry humped him deep into the mattress, delicious sensations everywhere. The younger struggled to find something to grab onto until Jaebum laced their fingers back together, pinning them above Youngjae's head in a blissful surrender.
Jaebum was grinding relentlessly, groans and grunts panted into Youngjae's ears alongside the 'good boy' and the 'just like that Youngjae'.
Youngjae could feel the tension building, that same familiar feeling building up and his vision began to blur.
"J-Jaebum I'm going to-"
Before the breathless male could finish his sentence Jaebum stopped above him, lifting his hips higher when the younger tried to chase them with his own in desperation for climax. He whined out in frustration.
Jaebum peered down at the blonde beauty, him to breathless, before giving him a cheeky grin.
"Not just yet sweetbottom."
"Jaebum p--please, " Youngjae gasped out, his lower lip wobbling slightly. Honestly he was feeling too desperate for embarrassment at the moment; and if it took Youngjae begging like a pornstar for Jaebum to just touch him then so be it.
"Easy there kitten," Jaebum cooed, nuzzling his nose against the flustered male beneath him, "the doors unlocked— you're not an exhibitionist are you?"
Youngjae's cheeks tinged. "N-no of course not!"
Jaebum gave him a playful look before kissing the tip of his nose.
The heat from the leader vanished as he lifted himself from Youngjae and over to the door to lock it. Youngjae wanted him back on top of him, and it was pretty clear that he was pouting, and that it was due to the lack of Jaebum heat.
God when had he become so desperate and clingy?
Jaebum took the liberty of removing his shirt and his slacks, leaving the male temptress only in tight-fitted boxers. As he came back to settle between the younger's shaky thighs, Youngjae was certain his face was hot fire, because Jaebum's torso definitely was.
Jaebum bumped their foreheads together.
"Miss me?" He breathed out hotly, taking Youngjae's racing heart up a notch.
He was teasing him yet again.
Youngjae forced a scoff at him. Although his laboured breath turned into some next-level hiccup instead.
"A-actually I'm glad we had a pit stop--think I might have a nap. Your body has put me right off the mood," Youngjae tried to joke but all these pent up feelings had turned his bite breathless.
'Your body has put me right off the mood?' What the hell Youngjae? Lame, you're so lame.
Jaebum laughs lowly, shaking his head. A fond mutter of I love you following suit which Youngjae chose not to comprehend at that moment.
"Well I can't have you put off. Can I?" Jaebum rasps out, lowering himself so that he was chest-to-chest with the younger, forearms the only thing keeping him upright. Youngjae blinked up into the smouldering eyes of his leader, sucking in his bottom lip again. Feeling blood rush to his cheeks some more as he shook his head. Jaebum's lip circled up at the boy’s sweet reaction.
"Spread those legs a little more for me Jae," Jaebum instructed softly. Of course Youngjae complied. He gasped as Jaebum pushed his legs open some more, his back jolting further up the bed and leaving his stomach exposed.
Jaebum's sweater Youngjae still wore -- bunching up at his chest.
A mere moment after, the elder had pressed his groin into Youngjae's, jerking his hips fluidly into the blushing boy below him. Youngjae's sweet pants hit the elder's lips, a delicious gasp leaving his lips as he begins to feel pleasure sizzle from his core once again.
Jaebum locks their lips together in a hot exchange, tongues flickering against each other. As Jaebum began to rock deeper into him, Youngjae began letting out gasps and whimpers into the older boy's mouth, hands finding rescue in Jaebum's soft hair. Jaebum slipped an arm underneath the whimpering male, getting more control to the friction between the two of them.
Youngjae's back arched, grinding against the elder and tugging on his hair hard.
"Fuck--- Jae," Jaebum groaned out, tightening his hold around Youngjae and jerking his hips faster into him. Jaebum began nibbling the younger's neck, leaving marks and wet kisses as he took new skin into his mouth.
"You--you feel good too...right hyung?" Youngjae choked out, not quite ashamed of craving reassurance from his leader.
He just loved it when Jaebum talked to him.
Jaebum practically growled in response.
"Youngjae-- I can't tell you how good you're making me feel right now," a groan leaves the leaders lips on 'good'. And wow - Youngjae loved the sound. Loved that the man he was in love with was feeling good because of him.
"So good baby. You're such a good boy for me Youngjae. My special boy."
Another groan from Jaebum and Youngjae's whimpering at the pressure building up rapidly between his legs.
"Jaebum," he gasps out, "I'm not – I'm not going to--to last m--"
"That's fine baby. Just enjoy how I'm making you feel. Because it's just for you."
Youngjae clenches his watery eyes shut, chin tipping his head into the soft pillow as he jolts his head in pleasure. His hands still tight in Jaebum's hair, and his legs still wide for his leader to hump deep into him.
Tears begin to leak down Youngjae's face as he finds his orgasm reaching near. He lets out a cry as wet heat latches onto one of his nipples. His nails rake down Jaebum's sweaty back, as Jaebum sucks him ferociously.
"Jaebum!" Youngjae sobs out, white spots clouding his vision as his orgasm hits him hard. And wow does it hit him hard.
Jaebum doesn't stop though, he jerks his hips faster into Youngjae. Sending the occasional gut-fluttering and encouraging 'good boy' to the blissed out boy through his orgasm until he's coming hard and staining his boxers. It doesn't take Jaebum long to follow along, and both boys are panting, sweating and sated.
It takes Youngjae more time to catch his breath, but when he finally opens an eyelid to look at Jaebum, the older boy is lying on his side, propped up on his elbow, looking at Youngjae contently.
Cue the blush.
"You're so adorable Jae, fuck stop it."
Cue a more intense blush.
That was it, Youngjae would hide his stupid face thermometer forever.
It takes a moment to process that Jaebum had spoken to him again before he looks past his fingers covering his face to peek back at his leader.
Jaebum is looking at him with one of those 'sexy glares' that he likes to throw about on stage one too many times. The look that leads to heartbreak and awkward boners.
But Jaebum is leaning over and brushing Youngjae's sweaty bangs away from his face, admiring his sweetheart in all his post-orgasm glow.