Love sure is a funny thing. It makes you happy…it makes you sad…it makes you do all sorts of insane shit that you never thought you’d do before. In fact, love’s the reason why I’m laying here on the floor dying as my very soul seeps out of my body…
Chapter 1: Home
I sat in the airport, tapping my foot impatiently waiting for my dad to show up. He was late; as usual, but he’s the chief of police so it was generally police business that made him late. For this reason his lateness usually didn’t bother me, but after the week I’d had, who could blame me for getting more than a little pissed?
It all started last Monday when my stepfather got notified that he had made it into some major league baseball team. Mom and him went out to celebrate and left me at home with no one for company besides my Golden Barrel cactus.
The next morning mom informed me that we would be going on the road to follow him around. And by ‘road’ she meant air. As in airplanes. As in my only fear in the entire world. Naturally I told her no way in Hell was I riding on airplanes on a weekly basis while being homeschooled. She responded by telling me that the only other option was to move to Forks and live with my dad. I told her fine. I only see him once or twice a year so maybe some bonding would be good. And more importantly the only plane I would have to get on would be the one from Arizona to Washington.
And so the plans had been made. Mom didn’t want me to go; Dad couldn’t wait for me to arrive.
I had stood up and was staring out the window at the cloudy Port Angela’s sky when I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Hey Bells.”
I groaned. “Dad, it was cute when I was three and tied a string of Christmas bells around my neck. Now it’s just weird.” I turned and embraced my father in an awkward one-armed hug. “It’s actually really good to see you.”
“You too Kid. How’s Karen?”
I nodded, “She’s fine, flying around, chasing after Mr. Baseball.”
Dad’s mouth quirked up into a smile, “Still afraid of flying, huh?” I nodded. “Well come on then, let’s get you home.”
We rode in a comfortable silence until we entered Forks, Washington Population: 3,545. “3,546 now,“ Dad told me with a smile.
I smiled back. Sure we weren’t the best of friends, but we did love each other and actually got along pretty well most times. And yeah we were also kind of like strangers, but it’s not like I had a hard time not calling him by his first name. I would never dream of saying, “Hi Bobby-oops, I mean Dad.”
“So I got you a car,” Dad spoke, pulling me out of my head.
“You got me a car?” I asked in disbelief. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” He assured in a gruff tone. “And either way it was cheap, so don’t worry about it.”
I looked at him quizzically. “How cheap?”
“Who would just give you a car?”
“You remember John Winchester?”
I shook my head; the name ‘Winchester’ did ring a very distant bell though.
“Well me and John go way back. Anyways he was in an accident a while back and can’t drive anymore, and since his boy won’t be able to drive for another couple of years, he gave it to me. Said to think of it as a ‘welcome home’ present for you.”
“What kind of car is it?” I asked skeptically. “What year?”
“Uh, ’67 Impala, I think,” He must have seen my eyes light up because he quickly added, “It’s not in perfect shape. It’s old, dented, and has quite a few primer-colored spots, but it’s got a new engine so it should get you to and from school.”
“She,” I corrected.
“You called the Impala ‘It’, she’s a ‘She’,” I explained with a smile.
Just then we pulled up to an old two-story house and there she was, dented and half primered, but all mine. “Just don’t go all Gollum on me and start calling the thing your ‘precious’ or anything, alright?” Dad said with a laugh.
I grinned, jumping out of Dad’s squad car and running over, to my- okay since ‘precious’ was out -baby. I ran my hand over her smooth hood and turned back to Dad. I had to fight the urge to hug the man into oblivion. “Thank you,” I said instead.
He nodded and helped me carry my bags up to my room. I sat on the edge of my new bed and started unpacking. “Well, I’ll, uh leave you to it then.” Dad gave me one last parting smile and disappeared.
One quality that I love about my dad more than anything else; he doesn’t hover.
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I must have because the next time I opened my eyes, cool grey light was coming in through my bedroom window. I groaned rolling myself out of bed to get dressed for the day.
By the time I got downstairs Dad had already left for work, leaving me a pot of coffee and an array of cereals to choose from as well as a note on the fridge that read:
I called down to the school and got your classes all worked out for you. First Period starts at 8:35. Pick up your schedule from the front office. Have a good first day Kid,
I looked to my watch, 8:17am. “Son of a bitch!” I grabbed my bag and ran out of the door and to my car. She started on the first try and I floored it out of the driveway. I’d seen the high school on our way in so thankfully I didn’t get lost. I was blessed yet again when the front office was clearly marked as such on the front of the building.
“Can I help you, Hon?” The blond behind the front desk asked.
“Uh, yeah, I’m Dean. Dean Swan.”
She nodded, looking through a pile of papers for a moment before finding the one she wanted. “Here you go,” She said, handing it to me with a smile. “Swan? As in Chief’s son?”
I sighed. “Uh, yeah.”
“Welcome home. Oh!” She dug through her pile of papers again, coming up with what appeared to be a map of the school. “You might need this.”
I thanked her and hurried over to the main building with my map held up in front of my face so that I wouldn’t get lost. When I finally got to my first class I quickly hung up my jacket next to a couple of pale girls doing the same thing. They looked up at me smiling. I returned their smiles and they giggled, scurrying off to their seats. I sighed and walked to the last open seat. I sat in silence for the next hour as the English teacher Mr. Kripke droned on like Ben Stine.
Finally the bell rang and I went to grab my jacket.
I turned to see boy smiling at me. “Uh, hi,” I greeted.
“You’re Chief Swan’s son, right?”
“Dean,” I corrected with a sigh.
“I’m Kevin. What’s your next class?”
“Math, in room…” I looked to one of my papers, “Six.”
“I’m in seven, come on I’ll show you the way,” He said with a smile.
I followed him down the hall, talking about the weather and other meaningless things until we arrived. “Well, I’ll see you,” I told him, somewhat awkwardly, ducking into my class with a small smile.
Kevin nodded, ”Yeah, see you.”
The rest of the morning passed about the same: boring classes, blushing and giggling girls, and the occasional person who would come up and introduce themselves. One of said persons who I happened to sit next to in both Math and Spanish, clung to my arm as we walked to the cafeteria. “I’m sorry, what’s your name again?” I asked, cutting off her seemingly never ending babbling.
“Becky!” She cried, swatting my arm playfully, before continuing her non-stop chatter.
I waved to the Kevin guy from across the room as Becky pulled me to a table filled with other chattering teenagers. She introduced me to them and I instantly forgot all of their names, too focused on wanting to go to the counter to get food.
Becky pulled me down to sit next to her. I sat for a second and was preparing to tell her to shut her friggin trap when I saw them.
There were five of them sitting at a table against the back wall, three guys and two girls. The first guy was lanky with spiky blond hair and wearing a V-neck. He was leaned over speaking into the ear of the pretty blond girl sitting next to him. The second guy was smaller, with neat black hair and wearing a black suit jacket. He and the second girl, a slim redhead, were staring at each other so intently I could have sworn that they were having an entire conversation with their eyes. Last came the third guy, the person who had pulled my attention to the table in the first place. He looked to around my height, with a slightly leaner build. Or at least I assumed he was leaner under his baggy tan trench coat. He had dark brown, nearly black hair, that was messy and sticking out at every angle. As I stared at him he turned and our eyes met. And oh, God I thought I was going to come just from looking into them.-Opps! Did I forget to mention that I’m gay? Yep! Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. I have been for as long as can remember…Now where was I? Oh yeah, his eyes…They were a beautiful pale blue that almost hurt to look at. I quickly unglued my eyes from his and turned back to Becky. “Who are they?”
“Huh?” Becky looked over my shoulder. “Oh. Those are the Cullens,” She said, dropping her voice. (Up until this point I had no idea that this hyperactive girl was even capable of doing that.) “Dr. and Mrs. Cullen’s adopted kids.”
“They’re all…” I cleared my throat, “Very…nice looking.”
Becky giggled, “Understatement!” She dropped her voice again, “But they’re all together.Like together together.”
I looked at her in confusion, “What?”
“Like, dating. See the hot blond guy in the V-neck? That’s Balthazar; he’s with Ruby, the other blond. The neat, but in pain looking one in Inias; he’s with the redhead, Anna.”
My eyes flicked over to the Cullen’s table again, catching sight of the third guy. “And the other guy, who’s he with?”
“Not me that’s for sure!” She exclaimed. “Sorry. No one I guess. He’s a bit of an outsider, even in his own family, even though he’s incredibly hot and everyone at this school- male and female -secretly wants in his pants.” Her eyes shifted back to me, seeming to realize that I was sitting next to her, she sighed. “His name is Castiel.”
“Have they always lived here?” I was sure that I would remember having seen a face like Castile’s around the few times I’d visited.
“No, they moved down here a few years ago from Alaska or Canada or someplace.’
“Huh.” I excused myself to get my lunch. The bell rang and I finished shoving my pizza into my mouth on my way to Biology. One of the girls from lunch– Channing, I remembered -smiled and waved. I waved back, but the seat next to her was already taken.
“You can sit there,” The teacher told me.
I looked to the seat Mr. Singer had pointed to and my heart nearly stopped.
I walked to my seat in what felt like slow motion and sat down next to Castiel Cullen. I was preparing to extend my hand and introduce myself when he turned as far away from me as possible and focused his eyes on a point above the teacher’s head. I lowered my gaze to my desk and listened to Mr. Singer go on and on about some subject I’d already learned at my old school. Each time I peeked up at Castiel, he was still looking away. Finally, near the end of class I was met with a pale blue stare. I tentatively smiled at him. His face remained stony and expressionless except for a small undertone of what looked like anger. My smile faded and he returned his eyes to the point above the teacher’s head.
The bell rang and Castiel was up and out of the classroom before anyone else had even had the time to gather their supplies.
“You must be Dean.”
I turned to see a somewhat scruffy looking boy a little bit shorter than me. “Uh, yeah.” I said shocked that someone had referred to me as ‘Dean’ instead of ‘Chief’s son’.
“I’m Chuck Shurley.”
I smiled, “Nice to meet you.”
He nodded. “Need help to your next class?”
“No, it’s gym. I think I got it, but thanks.”
“That’s my next class too!” He exclaimed, holding his hand up for a high-five.
I help my fist up-Dean Swan does not do high-fives.
He slapped his hand against my fist, cheering, “Fist-five!”
I couldn’t help laughing at that and wondering if Chuck was connected to Becky in some way.
Despite Chuck’s constant talking, at least it wasn’t gossip and he turned out to be the nicest person I’d met all day.
“So, hey, did you like stab Castiel Cullen with a pencil of something?” He asked, halfway to gym. “I mean the dudes weird- well aren’t we all? -but I’ve never seen him act quite like that before.”
“Was that the guy in Biology?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Yes, and don’t think I didn’t see you staring at him all through lunch.”
I internally cursed the blush that spread across my cheeks. “What do you mean?”
Chuck shook his head, opening the locker room door. “Look, it’s cool, dude.”
“That um...” He gulped, and spoke in a mouse-like voice, “You like…dudes.”
I gave him a cold stare and he shrank away. Then I ruined it by busting into laughter.
“So you are into dudes?” He asked uncertainly.
I nodded, getting my laughter under control as we changed for gym. “Yeah, yeah I am.”
Chuck made a small “Huh,” sound as we finished getting ready for gym.
By the end of class I had been hit in the head with the volley ball so many times that the coach demanded I go to the front office where the nurse’s office was located.
I stopped outside of the door when I saw Castiel inside talking to the receptionist lady who had given me my schedule earlier. He was leaned over the desk slightly with his trench coat draped over his arm. “Are you certain that I cannot change my Biology period? I will accept any other time,” He pleaded with her in a shockingly rough voice.
“No, I’m sorry,” She told him, sounding genuinely sorry.
“N-“He turned as I walked in. Our eyes met for a fraction of a second before he looked back to the receptionist. “I can see now that it is impossible. My apologies for wasting your time.” His eyes looked anywhere but at me as he hurried out of the office.
And what did I do? Get angry and say screw him? No! I check out his ass and think about how beautiful he looked!
The next day was slightly better for a few reasons. One being I felt more comfortable in my own surroundings. And I had people to sit with in every class that I could call friends. At lunch I sat with a group that included Becky, Kevin, Chuck, Channing, and several other people whose faces I was slowly starting to recognize.
It was also slightly worse for a couple reasons. I had slept like shit, for one, because I kept thinking of those goddamn pale blue eyes and because the bastard who owned them wasn’t at school at all.
I had had a small feeling of hope as I walked to Biology, thinking that maybe he’d just skipped lunch, but my hope was squished by the disappointment of having no lab partner for the boring as Hell hour of Biology.
Finally the last bell rang and I walked to my car, remembering to check my phone for the first time since the previous night. I had ten missed calls and the same amount of voice mails, all from Mom. Didn’t she realize that I had school?
I sighed and began listening to the messages as I drove. “Hi, honey! How was your flight? Oh, what a stupid question! Well…I was hoping that you would have called me by now or at least texted, but…I guess you’ve been busy…It’s Mom, um, give me a call when you get this. I love you.”
I listened to the next eight messages that were basically the same as the first. I shook my head, punching the button to listen to the last message. “Hi, it’s me again. I just realized that you’re probably in school, huh? So, you know, call me when you get out. I just want to make sure that you’re safe and well fed. We both know how terrible of a cook Bobby is. Anyway, I love you sweetie.”
Food. I had discovered the night before that Dad wasn’t exactly a culinary genius. “Shit,” I muttered, making a U-turn to go back into the main part of town to buy something to cook.
I was cooking steak and potatoes in a pan, baking an apple pie, and doing homework when Dad came in. “Wow, Boy, it smells…good in here.”
“Thanks,” I told him, scribbling in a math problem.
Half an hour later we were sitting at the table eating. Dad looked up from his plate and asked through a mouthful of potatoes, “So didn’t get a chance to ask last night, how was school? Made any friends yet?”
“School’s, school,” I shrugged. “I’ve met a few nice people. I eat lunch, listening to Becky Rosen in one ear and Chuck Shurley in the other,” I laughed.
Dad smiled, nodding. “Those two are something else,” He chuckled. “Their parents are real close so they grew up together, kinda became opposite gender clones of each other.”
The light above my head flickered on. “Do you know the Cullen family?”
“Dr. Cullen’s family? Sure, they’re nice enough. Why?”
“They- his kids –are…well different. They don’t really seem to fit in at school, you know?”
Dad shook his head. “Damn small-town idjits, not accepting people and judging them because they’re different or ain’t from around here.” He was actually starting to look angry.
I nodded in agreement and we continued to eat in silence.
The rest of the week went the same: wake up, go to school, look for Castiel, go to lunch, look for Castiel, go to Biology, look for Castiel, go home, cook dinner, think about Castiel, go to bed, dream about Castiel. Repeat. How fucking pathetic am I?