Chapter 1: Holy shit are those our ancestors?
It’s the end of the game both beta and alpha timelines are standing together
“what the fuck is that smell” Terezi growled out turning around “smells like us but grosser”. “SHE CAN’T THMELL” Mituna yells giggling mimicking something Latula says as always when her dancestor mentions something she can smell “FUCK YOU CAPTOR” Terezi yells back “HEY THAT’S MY JOB” Latula yells at Terezi enjoying the teasing of her dancestor. Her matesprit looked up at her “Now?” he asks grinning she shook her head “sorry babe not now”. “As I was saying before you two decided to be fucking stupid-” The younger Pyrope started before the ground started rumbling and 12 beings were almost just apperified in a line across from them. The entirety of the crew of 24 plus eight went silent even the loud mouth celibate who technically didn’t go silent but has his mouth covered by Cronus Ampora and his eyes covered by Porrim Maryam. “OH GOG ARE THOSE WHO I THINK THEY ARE?” yelled Vriska from the back the cerulean girl seeming to get more excited by the second.
Shit, ok those are our ancestors, probably...wait no definitely the smell of Serket smugness got stronger ok time to shut this shit down before we have all out alternian/beforian war. “OK EVERYONE I AM THE LEADER...sorry Karkles... AND AS THE LEADER I SAY THAT IF ANY OF YOU MOVE I WILL HANG YOU FOR TREASON”. Yup that sounded threatening enough totally not like a terrified troll girl. “ooooooooh look Pyrope a small you” a teasing voice said one she didn’t know but the eight syllables gave it away instantly “fuck, Mindfang” Terezi mumbled as she smelled the movement of the pirate queens red boots and heard her sword jangle slightly. “I see me reputation kept up especially with this loud mouth girl who calls herself the leader, HEY YE THAR IN THE WAAAAAAAAY BACK” Mindfang yelled pointing to Vriska “Ye look cute but not deadly, fix that” she said then returned to her place in line. “Ok so Mindfang's here that means…..redglare?” I say to myself turning my head towards the new trolls knowing I sounded almost too hopeful for a leader or at least one like karkles. ”HA YOU ARE JUST ILLEGALLY FANTASTIC” a voice much like her own yelled excitedly “AND BLIND LIKE ME ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL LOOK GHB” the woman yelled happily running over to the large purple mass you smelled. You could almost hear Gamzee gagging near Tavros watching the two of them hug and kiss. “Umm darlings you making our descendants uncomfortable” a calming voice said you almost immediately recognizing the fashionable smell of motherly badassitude. “I DON’T GIVE ONE WHOLE MOTHERFUCK GLOWY LADY, do I” The one you have coined as your Kismesis ancestor his voice dropping once he started talking to Redglare, ‘the sound of insanity’ you think to yourself almost laughing at how Dave seemed to be either speechless or the fussyfangs of his sister was having him be silent, this would be most enjoyable for him because of the ironic touch of fuck yeah as he would say.
Oh god they’re all here everyone mentioned in the journals, and even some that aren't I should be happy that I know more about them than most of us but i'm nervous goddamnit Vriska focus show off how much Mindfang should love you...that’s it steal the leadership from Terezi, looks like you're apologizing to her will have to wait until later. “TEREZI” you shout stepping to the front “what the hell are doing if you're the leader shouldn’t you be having us do something or did the sun that blinded you go to your head.” “Not the time Vriska” she hisses at you making you smirk “Oh I’m sorry did I hit a nerve” you mock “Don’t question my leadership serket” she growled at you but you knew it was all fake she was terrified you knew her too well “I wouldn’t go that far if a strife is what you're thinking of, you should know by now that I have aaaaaaaallllllll the luuuuuuuuck” you sneered throwing the extra eights to show you seriousness. “I seem to remember that you luck can’t outrun a blade” Terezi threatened pulling her cane closer. What you hadn’t noticed was the mutant blooded adult troll advancing on you since the beginning of the fight only noticing him once you both were lifted off the ground by your shirts “Ok, you’re done girls” he said to you as you began thrashing. “hehe Mindfang she’s a fighter like you” a woman with untameable hair giggled walking up to you. “Guessing by the olive blood color clothes and the almost sickeningly sweetness you're a Leijon, and by you nubby horns and the intense smell of cherries your karkles ancestor” Terezi said grinning “PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN” you screeched “Oops sorry” signless said letting you and Terezi down. You smirked and shoved Terezi using your wings to fly higher “OK AS YOUR NEW LEADER I ASSIGN EVERYONE TO FIND THEIR ANCESTORS AND NOT LISTEN TO TEREZI” you shouted then looked at the ancestors “find your descendants assholes” you said landing as everyone fanned out.
Everyone soon paired up even the alpha timeline trolls who were in the back and didn't appreciate the idea. Soon people were chatting with their ancestors and dancestors but their were some problems among the ranks like the fact that Kankri wouldn’t shut the fuck up much to Karkat and Signless’s dismay. “You are one tall motherfucker” Gamzee said looking up at GHB grinning his usual stoned look gracing his face. Kurloz signed something to GHB who just looked at gamzee confused. “motherfucking Kurbro said that your face paint is motherfucking miraculous” gamzee said smiling. “OK, girls tell me your quadrants I need to write them down” Disciple said to her “kittens” as she was calling them “Umm Kurloz was my matesprit and we’re still pretty close, Horuss is my meowrail” Meulin said. “PURRFECT, your turn ‘peta” disciple spoke smiling “I don’t have a matesprit but Equius is my meowrail and he’s just fine fur me” nepeta said clinging to the back of her ancestor. The Maryams were just a large crowd of fabulous and glowing. “Madame Dolorosa “If I could introduce my matesprit Rose” Kanaya said pulling Rose over to Porrim and Dolorosa. “Oh aren't you beautiful here spin” Dolorosa said twirling her finger watching rose slowly turn around “Hmm maybe we could make like a fit in flair” Dolorosa mumbled to herself nudging Kanaya “I agree she really enjoys the colors dark pink and black which I feel compliment her just as much as the yellow.” Kanaya commented looking at Porrim “I think I have my mobile dress kit in my sylladex“ Rose raised her eyebrows looking at the three “Don’t go to the trouble I would hate for such a beautiful dress to be made then ripped apart, right Kanaya?” Rose says specifically to embarrass her girlfriend for trying to make her clothing...again “Rose!” kanaya shouts blushing The Dolorosa laughing slightly as Rose walked over to her blushing beauty kissing her cheek. “Rose this did not need your human sarcasm” Kanaya mumbled. “I know i'll be going back to dave now love you” Rose said “Flushed for you” Kanaya said still blushing. “Who the fuck is you” Condensce and Meenah said at the same time frowning at each other “I’m going to lose my glubbing mind if you two spend the entire time bragging or fighting why don’t we take this time to talk about what was better for Alternia than krilling and a violent Caste system.” “If Serket didn't take my trident” Meenah grumbled to herself not wanting to listen to another one of her dancestors ‘be good’ speeches. “You got yours taken too? Miss glow fish over there took mine” Condensce said looking at Meenah. “They wouldn’t need to if you two used them responsibly instead of krilling everyone” Ferferi pointed out frowning at the two older trolls.
“So you’re pailing Zahhak over there fuck yea, what ‘bout you Tav” Summoner said enjoying the conversation between his descendants or his descendant and an alt him he didn’t give a fuck. “uhhh….g-gamzee's my uhhhh, matesprit” Tavros stuttered smiling “The highblood hell yes, hey guys watch this” Summoner said walking up behind Mindfang and grabbing her butt. “Summy, you have a good eight seconds before I slap your face so hard your descendant will feel it” Mindfang said calmly turning to her matesprit. Summoner let go hearing Rufio remark “Damn rejected!” as he flew back. “I’ll woo her later trust me”. The amporas were having a nice time just not talking to each other cronus fixing his hair humming greece to himself whilst planning on his next romantic gesture he’ll surprise kankri with that probably will not work. Eridan too upset about how hott dualscar is and why he can't look like that and dualscar watching Mindfang and Condensce trying to decide who is hotter. The only thing to describe the zahhaks is STRONG FAMILY. “does he really need to be over here?” redglare asked pointing to the adorable yellow blood clinging Latula “YOUCANTTHEEMEEEE” Mituna yelled from behind Latula who just giggled “I don’t like it” Reglare mumbled poking Mituna with her cane “shoo go to Psii go on shoo” Mituna whacked the cane but then fell over landing on his face “FUUUUUCUUCUKKIN THIIIT” Latula sighed looking at him and got on the ground laying next to him and they started cuddling “nap time” she declared smiling and removing Mituna's helmet. “What the fuck?” Redglare asked looking at terezi who shrugged “I don’t know either”. “So where will we get a device to set said hive on fire” The handmaid said smirking as Damara just held up her cigarette lighter. “THEN WE CAN HAVE A CORPSE PARTY” Aradia yelled giggling catching the attention of a certain bipolar yellow blood who gave her “the look” which meant not to try shit or he will blow her up again. (speaking of that certain yellow blood where the hell are those shits). “Where the fuck ith MT” sollux said frowning. “I dont care im jutht happy i don’t have to lithen to a thing the fith bitch hath to thay to me.” Psiionic grumbled. “COULD YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?!?!” Karkat yelled at kankri and signless as they talked about blood color rights.
“ #language karkat…” kankri mumbled to himself. “ that could trigger some people” “WELL YA KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS ME? YOUR TRIGGER WARNINGS!” Oh shit kankri started to rebuttal but cut himself off covering himself in his sweater and loudly sobbing (because kankri’s a crybaby) Cronus seeing this put his comb away and ran over to his matesprit picking him up whilst glaring at Karkat and walking away from the large group to calm the celibate down. (Speaking of the cool kids what are those Striders doing, oh their guardians have randomly appeared….cool) “bro?” Dave said looking up a his older brother. “Sup lil man.” A lot of things were running through dave’s head; can i hug him? nah that wouldn’t be cool. So they fist bumped. Dirk came up to dave. “Hey man, nice movies” “thanks dude.” And another fist bump. “Grandma gadzooks is that you?” Jake said looking at his grandmother she hadn’t aged a day since the last time he saw her breathing. “Jake is that...is that me?” Jade asked looking at an older version of herself “I am still cute i like it” Jade continued smiling. “I was certainly a lively young lady” Grandma Harley said smiling hugging both her younger self and her grandson filling in for a grandfather that couldn't make it. “Momma is...ish that you” Roxy said tearing up looking at her mother smiling more than she ever has both of them just hugging happily. “H-hey rosey” A drunken mother of rose said looking at her daughter “i-im sorry i couldnt be betta forz you” she said starting to tear up. Rose looked her mother up and down and hugged her and for once showed actual physical contact to someone other than her troll girlfriend Kanaya and she would never admit it out loud but she actually didn't hate it, she enjoyed it. The crockers and egberts reunion was the sweetest thing some would say a daughter putting her best disguise on and sneaking up on her father and a son admitting he was bi and a father saying “hello bi i'm dad” then everyone laughing...well not everyone the striders looked like they were going to die from the dad joke.
Chapter 2: Jake: be completely fucked
Jake English. You are completely fucked
hey guys just wanted to add that Maka (my moirail) wrote this chapter for me because this is her otp so props to this idiot and have fun with fluffy gaybies..also shy callie
Your name is jake english and you are completely fucked. After all the hullabaloo of meeting your grandmother/ granddaughter, you had completely forgot about your best pal dirk! And now he’s yelling at you and has been for at least 10 minutes now! Well now it's turning into choked words… oh my. You think he might be crying… gadzooks what should you do?! Having no idea you walk to him and hug him tightly. He hugged you back tighter.
“U-um… y’know strider, i’ve been thinking...about what happened to… well us. And i um- could we maybe give it another go..? Maybe..?” facing you, dirk replied with;
“W-well if you want to that is…”
“Um ya fuck ya!”
“Jolly good!so-” you were interrupted by calliope’s quiet voice.
“Um.. sorry to intrude but roxy said to make sure that jake wasn’t dying from dirk’s… period...rage? And also dirk she would like her pink sparkly flask back, sorry again!”and with that she ran out of the room. And you and dirk broke into a fit of laughter
Chapter 3: Where cronus and kankri ran off to
these chapters are going to be a little short at first but they will get longer as i post them
“Shhh calm down kan you're ok” your human boyfriend said to you. You are Kankri Vantas and the concept of human dating Cronus explained to you has nothing to do with quadrants and therefore didn’t pose a threat to your celibacy, you are still getting used to the affection but right now it’s calming. He took you away from the situation that has caused you to cry which you hate to admit but you were crying and can not even list how triggering this situation is by the fact you are still sobbing pitifully. “Guess mine is not the first heart broken. My eyes are not the first to cry. I'm not the first to know. There's just no getting over you” you hear over your shoulder. ‘Oh he can seriously not be singing greece right now is he.’ “Cronus” you sniffle wiping your eyes on your sweater as he’s finishing the first “hopelessly devoted to you” of the song. “Yes?” Cronus asked smiling “Please stop you're off key” you mumbled pouting “what am not” Cronus said looking at you in mock hurt making you giggle slightly at both the look on his face and his accent that always made you smile “Yes, yes you were don’t lie” you say smiling “Well, I guess I was slightly off key” he said smiling and holding his arms up “do you think it’s ok for me to hug you?” He asked you actually being polite and recognizing your triggers you were so happy about this you found yourself nodding your head as you two hugged. You guess this boyfriend thing isn't that bad.
Chapter 4: Dave find out about katt williams
Dave sat in his bedroom watching some funny asshole on the netflix that Sollux somehow fixed when said funny asshole gave him the best advice in the history of paradox space “If you have someone special in your life i want you to turn off the games and fuck that bitch like you need them in your life!” This quote was printed out and stuck onto Dave's wall four times as fast as a usual haha the irony poster he then sent some info to a certain justice loving troll who was totally not passed out with no pants on mere seconds before this...totally. Another shorter more nubbier troll was then told of the emergency that was needed in his matesprits kismesis whatever the fuck they were block. “Dave what in the actual fuck” this is when karkat noticed dave decided clothes were dumb and just sat there in the nude “Karkles new quote come here” Dave said pointing to his new wall ornament. Karkat shook his head and flipped dave off whilst doing a facepalm x2 combo “I WAS EATING OATMEAL….ANYONE COULD’VE CAME IN HERE” Karkat yelled so done with the sexy ass Dave just not wearing clothes because fuck that biz. “Terezi said there was an emergency” Karkat continued still shielding his eyes because why, why no clothes dave this isn't necessary “There was” Dave responded already coming up with something totally hilarious to say. “I swear if this is it I will claw your shades to shreds” Karkat threatened pointing accusingly at Dave who just pouted because it's sexy time and Karkles is being a little nerd about it. The previous nerd then stomped out because no Dave it's too early and I have dumb breakfast to eat.
Chapter 5: Dave shouldn't attempt revenge against his sister....ever
this will be my last post of this week more to come next week
Your name is Dave Strider and you are ultimately fucked. Why don’t we explain Dave How ultimately fucked you are? See you have recently run into a bucket one of the rare things to find after karkat decided to throw them all off the fucking meteor. So what is the first thing you do with this bucket you ask, well you’ve gotta pull some hella sick shit on your ectosis for “accidentally” spilling your AJ this morning. You have set this bucket on the door to her and Kanaya's library that they have claimed for their own weird fantasy shit you're not even sure, did we mention you also filled this bucket with violet colored water because as a strider you do not half ass your payback no you make that shit known to the universe all other shitty ass pranksters should bow down to your amazing planning. You have also sat yourself in the library when rose walks out from the fucking aisles and throws some shitty ass books at you telling you to “make yourself useful and learn something if you’re not going to leave”. So you’re plan has kind of been squashed but you can’t back out no your hells deep in this shit and there is no escape you're just going to have to wait for the inevitable miss Maryam to walk her fashionable shit through the door. That is in fact what you did and soon after you thought this that exact fashionable troll walked through triggering your trap and getting violet liquid all over her new dress. At least you think its new you’ve never seen it before. After the jadebloods lipstick was taken out and you hear your ectosis pull out a pair of knitting needles your learn the importance of flashstepping. Thank fucking gog.
Chapter 6: Eridan is a very busy troll
Ok so im adding a couple more chapters before next week because I got a kudos and I just posted the story yesterday and now that i know people are actually reading...MORE UPDATES. Seriously im easily excited and this one kudos made my day
You are Eridan Ampora and your kismesis is a fucking asshole. You are of course talking about a certain bipolar hacker by the name of Sollux Captor. This also of course was not your fault you simply were chewing gum and that bastard just happened to be feeling extra horrible today or something you had nothing to do with it. You were just walking through the hall that was empty heading towards the place sollux likes to hole himself up in recently the computer room hall thing you are too busy to remember the name of that place. You head into said room totally not noticing the only person in there was sollux why would you, you are a busy troll who really needed to use the computer. You throw a piece of gum into your mouth chewing loudly as you sit next to your pitchmate but how could you have noticed he was there you were as mentioned very busy and need a computer. You tap your foot as you attempt to log into the computer you have chosen when you start to hear a crackling sound next to you and see slight red sparks in your peripheral vision. He must be annoyed by something that is totally not your gum chewing or foot tapping you know he would never be annoyed by something as small as that. You were having zero fun in the random kiss that just happened when you noticed your gums missing. “Sol you fucking asshole” you mumble noticing him chewing on a piece of gum and flip you kismesis off standing up to go nurse your now bleeding lip.
Your are Eridan Ampora and you are a terrible liar.
Chapter 7: The scourge sister sleepover
Scourge sister cuteness
this ones going to be hella long hope you're ready
Ok this is simple just waltz right up and knock on her door it’s simple really just go up and....fuck even the fabulous Vriska Serket gets nervous but you still won’t accept that as fact. You pull together the scrambled remains of your confidence and knock quietly on her door. The door opened to a girl with short hair and red glasses covering red burnt eyes this girl was also wearing a onesie that modeled her scalemate dragon cape probably a present for her wriggling day from kanaya or just a way to get terezi to wear more clothes. “Vriska why are you here?” Terezi mumbled wiping her eyes. “Uh can we go in your block I want to do privately” Vriska said knowing how weird she sounded. “Serket it’s late if you pull anything I will seriously….I can’t even think about what i’m going to do i'm that tired.” Your scourge sister grumbled turning around and sitting on her pile of scalemates leaving the door open for you to walk through which you did and sat next to her quietly the two of you just awkwardly sitting looking at anything else but each other “I wanted to apologize” you say quietly breaking the silence not even sure she heard you….she did. “If you really are sorry i guess i could forgive you” she said back almost as quietly as you did. You didn’t remember the last time she was that quiet if she ever was. “I missed you” she mumbled again playing with her nails now still not looking at you. “Goooooooog Terezi we need to stop right now this is sad and we never acted this down” Vriska said frowning “and i missed you too.” This started you guys off getting caught up on each others life to now actually almost starting right where you left off and this made you happy. Well you were happy until you two were interrupted by some very odd noises coming from the from the room next to Terezi’s noises that belonged to a certain yellow and violet blooded pair. You two of course started laughing being awkward just didn’t fit how you guys acted and you knew that. “Do they do this every night?” you ask smiling. “Sometimes, I had to find earplugs to block them out” Terezi said still giggling. You stood up and walked over to the wall banging on it loudly “HEY DUALSCAR, BEE FUCKER KEEP IT DOWN” you shouted smiling and looked back at terezi who was cackling into a pillow.
You and terezi had a sleepover that night and let’s just say shenanigans ensued the entire night.
“Oh you two are in so much trouble” You hear Kanaya say as you and Vriska run away giggling and hide in one of the extra rooms that nobody uses. Kanaya was not the first tragedy of the night when it came to two scourge sisters and their bonding oh no so far you guys had, fucked with a cuddling Makara and Tavros which led to faster running away because Gamzee looked like he was going to murder you two, spray painted both of your symbols on a large wall near the main room, stole several of John's movies, made a gigantic mess by throwing toilet paper everywhere (vriska said it was a human way of telling everyone you're awesome so why the hell not), painted smiley faces on a pair of dave's shades, stole some doughnuts from you don't even know where, and spray painted the word fussy fangs on the library door which is the reason you're running now because you guys were giggling the whole time and didn't know that lalondes are up at all hours being scary as fuck and warning ther hella stylish girlfriend of your shenanigans.
THIS IS AWESOME. You love it when you and Terezi have these sleepovers they are so much fun you can’t even describe it’s a perfect way to blow off some steam or even just get silly revenge on some of your friends. That’s what you told her you were doing on your first target Gamzee because you knew about him and Tavros so you just told her that you wanted to mess with him. You didn’t, you forgave Tavros and everything he did like you hope he did for you, your real target was Gamzee because of all the shit that happened between him and your friend, you wanted just a small amount of payback for all he did even if now he’s “reformed” like you even believe that bullshit Karkat was spewing out. All you know is he made Terezi cry so now you want revenge, and that's what you got sneaking into his room you and her had sneaked air horns out of john's room (you guys are pretty close at the moment so it's all cool) and blowing them so loudly Makara just about fell off the bed along with Tavros. You’ve been making a habit of apologizing lately for the things you’ve done but you never going to apologize for this ever. Not after what the stupid clown wannabe did to your flush crush.
Chapter 8: Nightmares are a terrible thing
The seer of blood has a bad nightmare
Ok guys this is where shit starts getting good like i said it would its only uphill from here with my writing style
Gog what do you do when this happens, this shouldn’t happen and leaving him just laying there screaming isn’t a good idea either. Being Cronus Ampora with a night terror having boyfriend is hard it’s hard and nobody understands (probably cause no one else you know is Cronus Ampora and has to deal with a night terror having boyfriend) Either way there is a small adorable troll next to you sounding like he’s dying so you should probably fix that. “Kan… hey Kan wake up” you say in your most non threatening non flipping out tone you can muster “Seriously chief I need you to wake up” you are shaking him now like a idiot but don’t really care since you are in your own room and shaking him sounds like the best idea at this point. “KAN” you yell a little louder than his own scream and shaking him hard. ‘Oh shit’ you think as you're pushed away and into the wall from one push which is weird since he was never strong enough to pick up most heavy object and definitely not strong enough to push you, nonetheless your boyfriend sits up breathing heavily he looks still out of it. “Kan, Kan hun it's me, it’s Cronus” you say holding your arms up looking at a flipped out Kankri Vantas in front of you he seems to have come back from his dreams. “....Cronus” Kankri says catching his breath and repeats himself “Cronus” he said again and looks at you and you nod. He seemed to have regained his composure now fixing his posture and folding his hands “I’m sorry about that but I reassure you that I’m am perfectly fine and that it would be a good idea if we just went back to sleep and I apologize if I triggered you by waking you up” he droned on, haha no he is so not getting out of this conversation by talking you to sleep or whatever he’s trying to do. “Nope can’t let you do that chief, we’re going to talk about what the hell happened and why you we’re basically pleading for your life literally less than five minutes ago” you said frowning and turning on the light on the nightstand now being able to see Kankri and noticing how much worse he looks in the light. He’s sweating and his face is seriously red and even a little...tearstained? Yea there is no way he’s just going to wave this off like it was nothing. “Cronus I was serious when I said there is nothing wrong and it would just be better for both of if we just went back to slee-” He is doing it again now you need to get him to stop and listen “I will call Porrim don’t think I won’t” You cut him off and you're sure he has a lot to say about that but right now your couldn’t give two shits about whether or not he could finish his dumb sentence. Kankri huffed and did that thing where he looked like he was pouting but was really just weighing what was the better decision or at least that's what he told you it was “I would prefer you not call Porrim for the fact that I am not a wriggler and seriously it’s not like she’s my lusus or even my human mother that we have learned about as of late so there really is no reason to wake her up at this hour or anyone else really when it was just a small night terror and I am perfectly fine, really Cronus you are blowing this way out of proportion and I find it slightly triggering how you will not listen to a single thing I am saying even though I have already reiterated several times that I’m fine and we should just go back to sleep” ha so he admitted it was a night terror “Kan you talk in your sleep” you say simply frowning and he seemed to be stumped at that “uhh I…..” he started thinking “Yea exactly explain” you say looking at him “Ok so as you remember back when we played the game I am a seer of blood which means I sometimes get….glimpses of the life I had back on the other beta timeline, so when the power is shown in my sleep I am given the same circumstances as that of the Signless we have met before.” He explains not looking you in the eye probably cause that's a fucking terrible thing to have to explain “So you get visions of being fuckin’ tortured?” you ask summarizing his long explanation “Yes, basically that is what happened at the time but said in a more crude and triggering way” He said nodding “Ok, well um wanna cuddle?” you ask still confused as fuck on how to fix this because holy empress that is a lot to confess to someone at 4am. “That might help me get to sleep” he said quietly and you nodded turning off the lamp and pulled him closer to you and pulling the blankets over the two of you holding him close “You're gonna be fine chief I won’t let anyone hurt you no matter what” you say quietly as you both drift off.
Chapter 9: Karkat has quadrant confusion
Alternate chapter title: Pale bros bein cute motherfuckas
“Fuck Captor and Strider and fucking feelings ok, just take the feelings go out to a alley and just run them over with a goddamn unicycle because who needs those pieces of shit” Karkat ranted to his best bro laying upside down over the side of his bed “Bro I thinks you sending way to motherfucking all up and messed up signals like a broken horn it doesn't make the right noises and is just all around motherfuckin confusing” Gamzee said attempting to give his moirail at least suitable advice with also being really confused about what's going on “I mean me and Tav don’t fight like you and those motherfuckers do so that's probably why you’re all up and confused about what they’re feeling, cause you all up and motherfucking confused about what you’re feelin….HONK” Gamzee ended his advice by falling off the bed and hitting his head on the ground accidently. “Goddamnit you shit face clown asshole, are you ok?” Karkat asked leaning off the bed to look at his friend “Your carpet is motherfuckin miraculous bro, its like laying on a cloud” Gamzee responded standing up “well nothing but your fucking messed up goddamn pan seems broken and it's been that way for as long as I can fucking remember so I guess your shit is ok. Also it’s not that i’m confused about what i’m feeling I like Dave like that but not Captor cause we’ve been friends for-fucking-ever but I don’t want to hurt him because he is being like super obvious and ugh sometimes I want to take both fucking assholes and ram their shitty heads together.” Karkat ranted as his friend crawled back into the bed next to him “I don’t like strider that motherfucking much but I won’t stop a best friend from his motherfuckin flush crush, why don’t you just slam a cold faygo and rest for a bit” Karkat sighed “Yea, ok i guess getting some fucking asleep for once might help, but I’m not drinking any of your miracle crap” Gamzee laughed “More for me then motherfucker”
Chapter 10: It's just a joke right...why aren't you laughing?
Hey let's end this surprise update on a horribly sadstuck note
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Ok so maybe you’re not the smartest motherfucker in the world but this is so not your fault you’re brain is doing some weird ass shit right now and you can barely focus until it’s basically over. “GAMZEE WHAT THE FUCK” hey that’s your best bro what's he doing here? You let go of whatever you were gripping as your vision clears and you can kind of focus on everything now “Hey bro what’s motherfucking going on?” you ask smiling then looking at your hand is that…..’shit’ you think to yourself and look down ‘yup thats strider, is the motherfucker breathing….yea he still is goddamnit, ok just don’t look at karbro he’s probably laughing right he knows you didn’t mean to... right?’ you look back at your best bro and break down crying and screaming on the ground he’s not laughing he looks motherfucking terrified. Your crying soon transforms into low loud laughing at how fucked you utterly are right now, maybe you’ll get a arrow through the chest all executioner style, maybe you’ll get hung, that would be motherfucking ironic wouldn’t it the blind bitch would get a hell of a laugh out of that wouldn’t she? The laughing continues and the next thing you know Karbro dragged you out of that wretched room kicking and screaming and laughing thinking about how they’re going to kill you and laughing and all the possibilities but then crying thinking about how much of a monster they must think you are...just when you won them back. Karbro threw you into a cocoon to calm your shit and you fall asleep knowing you royally messed up.
You’re at a meeting. Everyone showed up even those who you knew this wouldn’t really affect but they came anyway, and you hate it because a leader doesn’t cry and you feel seriously fucking close to it. Even Vriska and Kankri are quiet for once, it feels like one of Aradia's morbid ass corpse parties all quiet and sad. You stand up in the big group and clear your throat “Uh this meeting was called because of Gamzee's recent actions and for everyone to address on how we should deal with-” Kanaya stands up and walks over to you “Karkat you shouldn’t be here you should be with him I’ll keep the meeting civil” she whispers in your ear “He’s in his dancestors room down the hall” This is all it takes and you run down the hall no matter what the stupid rage filled piece of shit does he’s still your moirail and he needs you right now.
More updates to come next week
we take a break from the regularly scheduled shit falling apart with the descendants and bring you to...Ancestors living together also known as “we have no clue the shit thats going down with our descendants because we chose a different place to live like smart people”
The ancestors live in a different building a little ways away from their descendants like non-idiots. Also im posting this one early because im heading out for a bit but it will be updated every weekend.
“ROSA PSII TOOK MY BOOK AGAIN” Disciple yells from her room very upset that she can’t find her journal. “I DIDN’T TAKE THIT BITCH” Psiioniic yelled back flipping the cat woman off while walking by her room. “I’ll be right there just give me a second” Dolorosa says walking over to Redglare once again making out with her matesprit in the halls, again “Can you two please find a room there are several of them.” “Shit no glowy lady I can do whatever the motherfuck I want” Ghb replies smiling but frowning once redglare drags him into an actual room not wanting to deal with the jade bloods chastising. “OY SHUT YOUR GLUBBIN MOUTHS IM TRYIN TO SLEEP IN ‘ERE” Condy yells deciding that the way to deal with her nap being disrupted is yelling louder than the others were. “WANT ME TO JOIN YOU?” Dualscar yells back smirking. “I OPENED A MEMO SO THAT EVERYONE CAN VOICE THEIR OPINIONS WITHOUT GIVING ME A HEADACHE” Signless yells frowning. The first thing to be said on the memo board was “Sorry for all the noise Signless got too many irons in the fire hmmmmmmmm.” “IT'S BEEN I DONT KNOW HOW MANY CENTURIES AND THAT JOKE IS ‘STILL’ NOT FUNNY MINDFANG” Signless yells realizing how many of the people he lives with are truly horrible people.
Chapter 12: The eldest Strider is on a mission
“Hey Strider, jolly good morning” Jake looks adorable today and you're on a mission. You are Dirk Strider and as mentioned you are one blazing smuppet rump of a mission right now and no one is going to stop you. “Hey” you say trying not to smirk. A whole ass poker face is the only acceptable face right now. You are in the main room because who does a big public display of Striderness in private, nobody that's who. You really wish you had some hella dramatic music going on with what you're about to do. “Dirk, are you listening?” shit, he was talking act like you weren't staring at his ass again. “Yup totally, hey is that a tinkerbull?” you ask pointing at a random direction “What wher-” Target acquired, cute adventurer and awesome ninja strider commencing in makeouts. Aw shit someone just stood up you are having way too much fun to actually do anything about it though right now. Did Dave seriously just wolf whistle at you, nope still not breaking this. “Dirk, Jade would like to ask you to stop having sloppy makeouts with her grandfather in the middle of a public area” Jake pushes you away seriously blushing, god he’s so cute. It's now you notice that the person talking to you is Rose and that you’re probably going to get an earful from Jake later. “HEY TELL HIM WHAT I SAID” your bro yells at the woman next to you. “Also Dave says to and I am quoting him here, “get that ass bro make me proud ” Rose says in a deep voice most likely trying to mock Dave. “ You can not laugh, not going to laugh, fuck it you're busting a gut here. Well it's a lot for you a smirk and a loud “ha” while looking at English who is still looking like tomato sauce was dumped all over his face. “Aww c’mon Rosey just a little longer” you make your face into a poker face again looking at your ecto-niece? Yea is that what you guys are you have no idea. “DIRK” Jake yells looking at you but you and Rose ignore him you two getting in on one hell of a verbal strife up in here “I do not enjoy that nickname, also if Kanaya and I can keep from throwing ourselves at each other than you can too. Your room is right down the hall in there you guys can kiss, makeout, or whatever I really could care less. Also, it's always suggested to use these” Holy shit she just gave you condoms and it is so clear you have lost this battle. Where did she get these, and what use does she have for them is she making some ironic ass balloons? If so, you wanna be in on that shit. “Yea, ok cool” you say grabbing Jake's arm and walking him to your room and he looks like a mix of hella confused and hella adorable and that blue spiderbitch bookworm looks absolutely pissed at you while her girlfriends laughing her ass off. Mission accomplished
Chapter 13: Do you regret it?
back to the regularly scheduled shit falling apart
“Do you regret it?” That's the question you were always afraid to answer, especially in front of her. On your own you could answer it easily, no you regret none of it. If you were given the chance to re-do everything, you wouldn’t change a damn thing. You’d do it all the same way in the same order. That makes you different right? That make you stronger better even it means you aren't held back by feelings and can make the right decisions when needed, doesn’t it? Normal people would regret all of it if they did the same things you did, isn’t regret what you should be feeling? Maybe spider-mom messed you up more than you thought. Even with all the stuff you’ve done and all the stuff you would’ve done if given the chance she still said yes, she said yes to your bitchy hot ass and you couldn’t be happier about it, but you’re still scared of that day, that day she asks if you regret it. If everything you’ve done gets her to leave you, well then that’s something to regret it for isn’t it?
Chapter 14: Drunken love is still love
Cute girlfriends being cute
“Roxy, you are drinking again is it bad for me to assume you are upset?” Callie asks frowning at her girlfriend who was typing furiously on her computer while having her fourth glass of you don’t even know what but it smells funny and so does her breath. “Not anymore bb *hic*, I feel amazin like I feel beau- boo- beautiful.” The drunken blonde says grinning “Oh well, I do believe that you are too intoxicated maybe because you are reforming to your old type of speech an-” “Calliez my beautiful little muffin have I ever told you how much I love you” “Yes you have many times especially when you are not inebriated to the point of hysteria.” The green woman frowned at her girlfriend and ran her hand through her hair “I do love you rolal but please wait till you're more sober to show me your affections.
Chapter 15: Terezi is a very bad liar
Love is knowing when not to kill your m8sprits ex
Heres a hella long chapter to makeup for that hella short chapter
Ok, human makeup works they don’t have a lot of grey but umm this is working it's kind of shiny...well you think it's shiny it smells like it. Karkles said he had him under control, ugh it’s only justice isn’t it that's what it all comes back to in the end. Good thing you are basically lady justice when it comes to this and you are perfectly in control.
You’ve been looking for your matesprit all day and it is piiiiiiiising you off. This place you guys inhabit is still hard to navigate and you have no idea where she could be. Dave, that asshole should know where she is they are moirails. You begin to troll him but of course he has no clue either. Worthless no good human. Uuuuuuuugh Karkat opened another memo this is soooooooo dumb you thought he stopped this nonsense. You read it anyway maybe you can get some good bitching in before finding Terezi. “OK SHITSTAINS HAVE ANY OF YOU SEE GAMZ I MAY HAVE...MISPLACED HIM AND THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING STUPID.” “Y8U M8SPL8C8D H8M!” Wow okay you need to calm down you can barely read that and it's your quirk. You personally troll karkat now about to pirouette off the gogdamn handle. “Karkaaaaaaaat where the f8ck is Ter8zi? W8 don’t even answer that if your th8ng hurts h8r I swe8r to g8g” “CALM YOUR SHIT SERKET I KNOW HE WOULDN’T DO THAT HE’S REFORMED NOW IVE TOLD YOU ASSHOLES THIS” Ugh what a load of hoofbeast shit you’d think he would’ve gotten over that after the thing tried to kill his moirails own matesprit it's just….frustrating. “If you’re not g8ing to h8lp me i’ll find her mys8lf” is all you say before logging off and stomping off to go check Terezi’s room which surprisingly you didn’t think to check earlier since it was toooooooo easy especially for Pyrope. Oh great toreadumbass “uhh Vriska have you seen-” “Let me cut you off right there Toreadissapointment i’m not in the fucking mood and I seriously don’t have time for you and your stuttering sack of shame globes bucko” You push him down and start what feels to be….tearing up? You know this is wrong taking it out on everyone and you should really talk to John before doing anything else but, she could be hurt and old habits die hard okay. You continue your walk until you find her door and in lack of self restraint bang on it as hard as you can just hoping for an answer. Of course she’s ok, you are just overreacting Terezi can handle herself. You just knock louder though. “GO AWAY TEREZI ISN’T HERE RIGHT NOW” You laugh slightly at how dumb that was and stop you consistent abuse of the door “It’s Vriska, I couldn’t find you and….uh well just open the damn door... please” You’re trying your hardest to make it sound like you're not completely losing it right now but it just sounds bitchy. Welp that’s better than nothing.
Shit someone found you, oh please don’t be her that would be so embarrassing. In you're nervous state you yell that you aren't here right now. Man that was stupid. It is Vriska, fucking shithivemaggots are you suppose to let her in since you guys are matesprits. Maybe it's better if she doesn’t see. She sounds so sad though, fuck you know if she keeps talking you're going to let her in anyway might as well do it now before she breaks down the door. Hopefully you did a good job on the makeup being blind doesn’t help this at all plus this stuff kind of stings you're cuts. “It’s open” you mumble turning on your computer and watching some random thing karkles sent you awhile ago but anything is better than looking at her. Except telling Dave and her thats just a full blown bad idea. Anyway stare at the screen don’t look at her, stare at your screen don't look at her, stare at your screen don’t look at- fuck she’s hugging you there is no way you’re getting out of this. “Uh Terezi?” “Yea?” “Why are you so shiny and powdery” Shit uh still can get through this make up a lie “Umm I thought I would try that human makeup stuff” “uh huh while sitting in your room by yourself all day….let’s go wash it off I haaaaaaaate how it looks, you look better without it” “NO” you yell maybe a little too loud and maybe just a bit too quickly.
Deep breaths Serket you’ve got this she’s just wearing it to look nice. Oh who are you kidding she’s hiding something and you saw blood on the floor when you walked in. You're angry, really angry, but she needs you more now than Makara needs a gogdamn beating and maybe death so you’ll stay for now. “Tez you're really bad at hiding things” you say frowning closing her computer screen arms still wrapped around her “Are you mad?” Ha that was a dumb question “Oh furious, not at you but at the clown asshole and don’t think for a second he won’t pay for this. But I’m also not going to deal with it now, we’re wiping that shit off your face and taking a well deserved nap” you say this and think you see a slight smile on her face and you remember why you're flushed for her.
Chapter 16: Jake English has an iron will
“Who gave it to you?” you ask looking at your boyfriend frowning crossing your arms you hate when he does this you know he’s drunk he knows he’s drunk but he won’t admit that he’s drunk because he likes to be difficult doesn’t he. “Whatre you talkin about English im fi-fi-fine.” darnblasted Strider and his difficultness “Dirk, I can clearly remember telling Roxy not to give you alcohol so who gave it to you” Is….is he laughing this is not funny he could seriously hurt himself with all the weapons around and you do not like him thinking any other way but clearly. “Oh c’mon y’know I lo-love you” he says hugging and trying to kiss you. This is why you disapprove of him drunkenness he gets all types of adorable and he says I love you a lot which he doesn’t do often because of “the protocol of a strider” ugh this is ridiculous. “No, I will not be doing anything with you until you sober up” You mumbled pushing him off of you. “Jaaaakkkkeeee this isn fair” you frown sitting down on the bed crossing your arms “It is so fair you’re drunk therefore im not going to aid in this behavior. That means keep your shirt on” Oh now he’s pouting and nope you are Jake English and you have an iron will.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
You are Jake English and you still have an iron will. Even if you gave in and cuddled Dirk. It’s not your fault he gets all lovey and adorable when he’s drunk. You check dirks phone after hearing it ring and smile at the message. “Just pretend you're drunk thats what I do calliz a sucker for cute rolal”
Chapter 17: Karkat: be a good moirail no matter how pissed you are
“DOES HE REALLY THINK IM GOING TO RESPOND POSITIVELY TO THAT MESSAGE. IF SO HIS THINK PAN IS FAR MORE FRIED THAN WE ALL THOUGHT IT FUCKING WAS!” You are Karkat Vantas and you are so pissed you can’t even think of the right profanities to use. Your moirail after going shithive fucking missing decides to fucking troll you asking where you are. Your matesprit Dave imtoofuckingcooltocare Strider is looking like he totally doesn’t care and it is pissing you off. “I don’t know karkles but you're crazier than Rose without caffeine or booze if you think I’m letting you meet up with the clown alone.” Nothing about Dave changed at least a little bit. He actually was paying attention, nope he’s not getting away with this without getting at least a hug. Which is exactly what you did clinging to the Strider sitting on the bed. “Strider if you dare go cool kid stoic on me I’m going to kill you while simultaneously killing myself in the most beautiful showcase of shitstorms paradox space has ever seen.” He smirked and wrapped his arms around you. You get the best idea ever and yank his stupid cool kid shades off his face and get the slightest glimpse of red before his eyes are shut tight “Kitkat shades now” hmm no not happening “Nope Strider mcshitfuck I wanna see your eyes and you aren’t getting your glasses back until I do” Dave sighed and slowly opened his eyes and wow “They’re red” is all you can say right now because you’re a little bit distracted with all the staring. “Really I hadn’t noticed my ugly ass eyes and their ugly ass color thanks professor Vantas for noticing things even I Dave Strider couldn’t notice.” Goddamnit within the rambling Dave said something fucking dumb as hell “What the bulge chafing fuck was that Strider last I checked self hatred was my fucking forte not yours” You're clinging again frowning looking up at Dave “Ha I don’t hate myself my eyes are just fifty shades fuckin horrible so...shades now” You grumble under your breath handing the shades back to Dave pouting as he puts them on. “You’ve got a dumb clown to respond to and I have some coolness to regenerate so please remove the choice Vantas booty from the Strider” Ugh curse your smallness and ability to be lifted up by monumental assholes. “We are cuddling and watching 50 first dates tonight” You say opening your computer once again and responding to Makara slightly less upset than when you first saw the message.
You're standing outside of a room on a far corner of the place you're idiot species populates and you're about to meet with your moirail Gamzee Markara. Your friend Kanaya Maryam and Matesprit Dave Strider are with you because apparently you need protection from someone who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Or you tell yourself that when you know it's not true but... some people just need something to believe in and this is yours. “Karkat, Dave and I will be sitting out here if you need anything just call. “You both are overreacting Gam is reformed and i’ve told all of you that about a thousand fucking times” You say frowning and turning to the door “I'M COMING IN SHITSTAIN AND I SWEAR TO GOG YOU BETTER BE IN A FUCKING WONDERFUL OF A GOOD MOOD OR I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU WITH A DULL SICKLE” You yell opening the door and slamming it shut. You're immediately enveloped in long bony limbs and a mess of goddamn shit ton of clown hair “It's only been a few weeks and I forgot how fucking tall you were you monumental idiot clown” You say hugging back “Missed you too Karbro” He mumbled smiling. “Don’t get worked up over this ok it wasn’t you're fault you're going to stop the angry clown asshole stuff eventually” Oh god you're not going to cry you are not going to cry crying is bad. “Really and how do you motherfuckig know. HOW DO YOU MOTHERFUCKING KNOW WHEN I BARELY KNOW MYSELF WHAT IS MOTHERFUCKING GOING ON WITH MY PAN BROTHER” Shit fuck yelling, yelling is bad when there are people outside. “Gamz calm you're fucking shit Kanaya is outside” You don’t tell him Dave is there too you don’t want to lose the bit of sanity he’s showing right now. “Sorry Karbro wouldn't want to all up and piss of motherfucking fashion sis. I look like a motherfucking mess right now bro don’t get too all up and upset” You rolled your eyes frowning at him “It’s my job to fucking worry about you so no amount of ‘don’t get too upset’ is going to change that” you say pulling away from the hug to get a good look at him. Teal on his shirt, scratches everywhere, his hair somehow got worse, and...that tiny ass shirt is hanging off him like it's fucking two sizes too goddamn big “DID YOU FORGET WHAT FOOD LOOKED LIKE WHEN YOU WERE OUT HERE MAKARA OR DID YOU JUST FORGET ABOUT IT CAUSE I WASN’T THERE TO REMIND YOUR UNSTABLE THINK PAN. GAMZEE YOU CAN'T JUST NOT EAT IT'S NOT HEALTHY AND-” You're rant is cut off with him hugging you once more and shoosh papping you “Do not even think I’m letting this go anytime soon” he laughs nodding “Wouldn’t motherfucking dream of it Karbro.”
Chapter 18: What comes next
Word travels fast on a planet full of not totally yet mature teenagers and soon everyone knew about what happened to Terezi this is what came next
Saying that it was chaos was an understatement. A horrible, horrible, understatement. Tavros accepted Gamzee back, but he was the only one. Word got out of Terezi getting the shit beaten out of her making Vriska pick a fight with anyone she could get her hands on that could’ve possibly pissed her off. Terezi was with Dave most of the time trying to ignore everything outside and drawing hot dudes with chalk (they were all karkat). Kanaya and Rose were split between watching Gamzee and Karkat and watching Terezi and Dave. Feferi laid a good smack to Eridan's face when he said Gamzee didn’t do anything even that bad. Nepeta removed Equius from the situation in fear of fighting over it and they were hiding somewhere with most of the cookies. John was having trouble talking Vriska down from killing everyone. Sollux seemed not able to care less and buried himself in his work. Even the dancestors were feuding with one another over what was right or not. Kankri was torn between taking Karkats side and full on social justicing his mouth off over everything he’d heard. Kurloz punched Rufioh in the face after he apparently “Said some shit a motherfucker shouldn’t.” about Gamzee. Which caused Meulin to deal with the mess called her moirail who was more than a little upset. Cronus and Meenah seemed to have a pale session sometime during it that no one could explain. Latula and Mituna started a prank war with some others to lighten the mood even though Latula would’ve rather talked some serious smack to Gamzee about hurting her radical sis. Porrim like others retracted herself from the situation and made a very cute grease themed outfit for Kankri. Aranea laughed the entire thing off and made fun of both sides triggering fights that otherwise wouldn’t have happened and getting an earful from Meenah which ended in makeouts. Much to a wandering Cronus’s dismay and embarrassment.
Chapter 19: We are totally black...yea totally
Yea this one kinda sucks but i think its cute soooooooo
You’ve been trying to work it out with Fef lately though at the moment she’s pretty fuckin pissed at you for taking Gams side in this whole debacle. Currently you are sitting in a corner reading a book quietly and all around mindin your own business before you floatin in the air behind Sol against your own free will. “This isn’t fair you know usin your psionics on me. Sol….SOL ARE YOU EVEN FUCKIN LISTENING” You yell pouting if you're complainin he better damn well listen and acknowledge it. “Thut the fuck up Ed” Sollux says to you rolling his eyes continuing to walk “Sol i'm not in the mood right now” you groan crossing your arms “Neither am I thweetheart” Ugh fuck him and his stupid human sarcasm. You hear giggles as you pass people in the hall. Did he just high five Ara, fuckin basshole. You two go through and pass most of the people you could pass before he goes into his room which is messier than even cros room. Stray wires, gaming systems, dorito bags, and bees everywhere. “You know sol you really need to clean this place up.” He just shrugs and sits down at his computer while you're still floatin behind him. It's been long enough for you to accept your fate floatin in mid air when eventually he gets a massive headache from using his psionics for too long and staring at a screen for gog knows how long and you dropped into a pile of bee plushies and more stray fuckin wires while he’s in pain and you cuddle and comfort him because if this relationship was anything it was confusin as all hell but this felt right...perfect.
Chapter 20: Turns out Kankri doesnt want to know what Damara is saying
“Good evening Damara I was wondering if you would like to have a conversation dealing with the social issues of our society as of late.” You are Kankri Vantas and this might be the best day ever. You’ve been studying Damaras native language and you might be able to understand her now. She gives you….less of an appropriate reply. “Now that is triggering to me and most likely anyone around us Damara.” Ok now you remember how most of her being around anyone ends badly. Oh, okay she is now touching you and this isn’t good. “I would gladly appreciate it if you would respect my triggers and not touch me.” You continue to back away from this girl that you’ve decided is not fun to hang around when the ground disappears. “Taken Dams sorry go find someone else. Go on shoo” Damara snaps something at Cronus before walking away “uh she called you-” You start to explain “I don't wanna know Kan” he said positioning you so that you legs are wrapped around his stomach “You could put me down now” you mumble into his shoulder. “Now, I could do that...but I could also not do that and we can go watch a movie” You smile “Is this movie grease?” he looks at you like your the dumbest person even “Chief, it's always gonna be grease. The answer to us ever watching a movie is going to be grease and not grease two that was an abomination.” You try not to laugh “I agree grease two wasn't that enjoyable” He opens the door to his room “Hell no it wasn’t. You wanna take a shower wipe Megido off you” He asks setting you down “Cronus just because you invite me to take a shower in your shower does not mean you get to join me in the shower.” You say frowning at him “Yea but if I just happen to accidently fall into the shower while wandering around it doesn’t count right?” You sigh grabbing a towel from a hangar on the door “I'm taking the shower now Cronus by myself only myself and then we can watch the movie.” You open the door step in and lock it much to the dismay of your boyfriend about five minutes later when he tries to get in. “HUMAN LOVE YOU BUT I AM NOT LETTING YOU IN.” You finish your shower and see Cronus’s hair gel on the counter you weigh the consequences and decide on hiding it under the sink behind a bunch of stuff smiling at your work now you get to mess with his hair. The rest of the night was a blur of hot chocolate and arguments over what movies to watch (No we are not going to watch grease for the fourth time in a row I want to watch troll disney)
Chapter 21: Always expect the unexpected
Ok, this probably isn’t right and she might actually hang you for this but you are spying on one of the coolest chicks in this place (she said so herself so it's now law). “Do you really think the dragon isn’t dating Vriskers?” oh yea and you brought the cat one with you. Meulin? No, well she likes it when you bet her cookies and she's pretty damn cool. “Of course she’s not tez and I are tighter than Texans and chick-fil-a there's no way she likes spiderbitch” What are they even doing? They’ve been sitting there staring at the ceiling talking for a good twenty minutes. “EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED” Tz yells before rolling on top of Serket laughing cackling her ass off. Oh and you did not need to see that. There are a lot of things you're ok with seeing or even alright with seeing. You're blind friend making out with her girlfriend is not one of them. “OHMYGODTHEY’REFUCKING” Welp you're dead you just lost your cool and you're dead “STRIPUR SHH” she just yelled at you to shut up “YOU SHH” “IM GOING TO KILL BOOOOOOOOTH OF YOU” Annnd Serkets pissed. Terezi’s cackling again “OH THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN...DAVE I WOULD START RUNNING” You do even when you know she stopped chasing. Terezi messaged you shortly after saying it was a secret and she would probably kill you if you told anyone. The next day you get a picture of a morning after Terezi grinning. “Sh3’s st1ll 4sl33p and 1’m bor3d, w4nn4 p1ss h3r off?” You laugh and look at Karkat. “hellz yes give me a sec to hide kitkats shit he’s either not wearing shit or my shit. Meet you in can town tz”
Chapter 22: Even clowns need to take showers
“I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOG MAKARA IF YOU DON’T GET IN THE SHOWER” hehe motherfucking shit bro is mad “nope” you say and dive under the bed platform soft motherfuckin thing grinning sitting there until your legs are grabbed “HONK” you yell out trying to pull them out “For once your fucking lanky ass body works in my gogdamn favor” karbro mumbled trying to pull you out from under the bed. You give in and let him drag you out pouting. “Now don't give me that face you need to take a shower while I wash those fucking clothes you’ve been wearing for days” You continue pouting. “Tav said I looked motherfucking fine.” Karbro sighs “I'm not Tavros though am I? No i'm fucking not. I'm your goddamn moirail and you are getting in that fucking shower if i have to drag you in there myself this isn’t sanitary and you could get sick or something.” You let him drag you to the bathroom after that cause now you feel bad for making him all up and angry. “Don’t use Striders shit it smells horrible. Tavros gave me this weird grape smelling shit and there's soap in there. If you dare fucking drown on me I’m going to kill you with a rusty sickle got it?” You laugh and nod “Got it bro. This motherfucker ain't gonna up and drown on you.” You are then pushed into the bathroom with the door slammed shut behind you “DON’T COME OUT UNTIL YOU'RE FUCKING CLEAN”
Chapter 23: Meulins birthday
Seven minutes in heaven shenanigans
Yea im counting this one as two because its long as shit for me so technically you get four new chapters but hey this is long and cute sooo
“OK EVFURYONE TAKE PURR SEATS” Nepeta yelled as everyone started to fill in for the “important meeting” nobody was allowed to skip out on. Everyone was dressed up fairly nice. Kurloz was wearing a suit and a purple tie and surprisingly didn’t have his stitches in, Cronus was wearing a violet shirt with his greaser jacket and had no grease in his hair, Kankri refused to dress up because his moirails suggestions were a little less clothing than he would prefer to wear, Nepeta was wearing a green frilly poofy dress she enjoyed spinning in, Equius and Horuss were matching with dark blue suits and their hair up in ponytails, Damara was wearing a deep red dress and so on. Meulin was the one of the only ones in her normal clothes it was a little weird to her “SO I KNOW IT'S SUPURIZE BUT HAPPY PURTHDAY MEULIN” The small girl yells giggling.Kurloz turned to meulin and kissed her smiling and then pat her head. Porrim laughed and stood up hugging Meulin who looked super happy at the surprise party her dancestor held. “Happy birthday darling what would you like to do first?” Meulin grinned big “SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN NOW DO IT” She yells giggling. Kankri stood up to walk out but was grabbed by Cronus and sat on his lap which made him a bit crankier but he didn’t say anything. Kurloz pulled out a black top hat handing it to Meulin who cut the room in half making one half throw their things into the hat and the other half close their eyes. “OK who wants to go furst” Meulin asked. Aranea immediately threw her hand up grinning. Meulin nodded and handed the hat to her. Aranea closed her eyes and pulled out a small gun keychain. “SHE SO FUCKING CHEATED” Dirk yelled from his seat next to Jake who had his head in his hands. “DID NOOOOOOOOT” Aranea yelled back walking over to Jake grabbing his hand and walking him over to the closet. “DON’T TRY ANYTHING IF YOU WANNA LIVE GUPPY” Meenah yelled after them making Jake mumble how he wouldn’t be the one try anything and if he did it wouldn’t be on purpose. Seven minutes passed and Meulin walked over to the door “I'M OPENING IT NOW PURLEASE BE DRESSED YOUR MATESPURITS LOOK UPSET” She yelled nervously looking at Meenah and Dirk then opening the door. Aranea had Jake pinned to the wall smirking. “OK SERKET GET YER FINS OFF THE HUMAN” Meenah said walking and dragging Aranea off Jake who looked seriously uncomfortable. Jake walked back over to Dirk who if you knew what to look for was beyond pissed but he still had his poker face on. “I'm gonna kill her” he mumbled under his breath a slight accent to his voice then looking at Jake deciding to kiss him which turned into Jake being pinned to the couch while Dirk made out with him then having to have some idiot in a red sweater separate the two. “Ok uh that went well next!” Latula raised her hand smiling “THIS RAD ASS GIRL RIGHT HERE” Meulin smiled handing Latula the hat. Latula closed her eyes and pulled out a… Chopstick. “Fuuuuck” she said groaning looking at Damara “Let's go Dams” she said heading towards the closet while Megido was basically dragged in after her. There was yelling and then a thud and then silence. “I don’t wanna know what's going on in there” Mituna said quietly hiding behind Kurloz. “I don't want to open it now” Meulin said looking around the room “Anyone else want to to do it” Dave and Dirk raised their hands “We can tear them apart probably” Dirk said walking towards the door and opening it. Latula was on top of Damara snarling at her both girls covered in small scratches. “Ok ladies you're done.” Dave said looking the two over. Latula stood up grinning and walked back over to her matesprit and kissing him quickly. The boys had to help Damara up and Dirk said something to her in japanese as they walked back to their seats. “Uh that was fun” Meulin muttered writing something down in her notebook. “Next” Dave raised his hand and was handed the hat sticking his hand in he pulled out, a red and blue pair of glasses “Cool nerd makeouts” Sollux rolled his eyes “Fuck you thtrider” The two walked into the closet. Karkat was pouting and crossed his arm waiting for seven minutes to be up so he could punch Dave in the face for making him play this game and not even getting him. “Ok seven minutes” Meulin said heading towards the closet but was beat by a flash stepping Dirk who was seriously intrigued on what was going on in the closet. What was going on was makeouts. “Oh hey bro” Dave said breaking it off with Sollux smirking. Dirk high fived him as they both walked out of the closet. “Why did you do that you guys don't even like each other.” Aradia whispered looking at Sollux. “He wanted to make kk jealous” Sollux whispered back “It was terrible but worth it” He added looking at Karkat who was smacking at dave's shoulder while ranting at him. “Next” Meulin said giggling watching Dave and Karkat. Karkat smirked raising his hand while staring at Dave. “Ok karcat” Meulin said handing him the hat. Karkat felt around it for awhile then pulled out a small hammer figurine. He then stands up walking over to the closet “LETS GO EGBERT” he yelled sitting in the closet. John looked at Dave apologetically as he walked into the closet. When the door was opened again Karkat was in a very flustered John's lap kissing him. Dave jumped up and picked up a still John kissing Karkat and carrying him away to a back corner of the room. “Well then anyone else?” Meulin asked. Cronus raised his hand shrugging. Meulin handed cronus the hat and he pulled out a cherry chocolate bar. Kankri's face went a little red “I had nothing else to put in ok” Cronus smiled and picked Kankri up and carrying him into the closet while he loudly objected to being carried going on about triggers still as meulin closes the closet door. The door was opened early to porrims suggestion and the two were sitting on the ground kissing. Porrim made gagging noises which snapped the two out of it. Kankris face was super red and Cronus looked proud of himself. “We’ll be leaving now” Cronus said picking Kankri up “WHAT CRONUS” Kankri yelled as Cronus ran out before anyone could stop him. Eridan was next and put his hand in the hat pulling out a gemini keychain smirking before realising...sollux was already pulled. “FUCK YETH LESS GO FITHBREATH” …..Goddamnit. He is pulled to the closet by a surprisingly strong mituna captor catching a glimpse of sollux looking both pissed and amused. Meulin closed the door behind them grinning “This is going to be purretty interesting”. Sollux got up and looked at meuling “I'm opening that now” he said before unlocking the door and pushing it open. Mituna was lying on top of eridan making out with him. Sollux nudged Tuna with his foot rolling his eyes. Mituna got up and high fived sollux before running back to his matesprit and almost tripping twice. Sollux almost ripped eridans arm out of it's socket pulling him up and dragging him out of the room yelling about how he’d be back in a bit. “I’ll go next” porrim said standing up walking over to the hat and pulling out a picture of a smuppet. “I got this weird picture of something looking rather phallic.” Dirk stood up shrugging and went to the closet. Porrim set the picture down and walked to the closet closing it behind her. The two talked about jakes ass, how uncomfortable tutus are sometimes, exchanged sex advice, dirk explained sexualities which porrim found interesting. “Are you sure you're gay, you did live by yourself for awhile there?” Dirk nodded “yea i'm pretty sure what are you getting at?” Porrim shrugged “we kind of have to kiss anyway might as make your matesprit jealous and make sure you aren’t that bi thing you were talking about” Dirk nodded “I’m pretty positive about my sexuality but making jake jealous sounds fun” The two kissed which quickly turned into making out and porrim yanking dirks shirt off as the door was opened. “WHOO GET IT PORRIM” Latula yelled whistling. The two pulled away from each other both faces indifferent “he looks pretty jealous” porrim whispered. Dirk wiped his mouth with his arm grinning “cool, and yea i'm sure i'm gay” Dirk whispered back “Well if i can't change your mind i doubt anyone else can” Porrim whispered standing up and throwing dirks shirt back to him. Dirk followed suit and went back over to an upset looking jake sitting down smirking “That wasn’t nice, i'm like ten times better at that” Jake mumbled wrapping his arms and legs around dirk “prove it” Dirk said nonchalantly which jake took as a challenge “I will...after the party” Jake said frowning “I look forward to it darling” Dirk said. “Why are you people so pursessive” Meulin said giggling putting her own hand in the hat pulling out a small bone looking thing “Purloz is this yours?” meulin asked looking at the object “Nope sorry doll thats mine” Rufio said standing up “..shit” meulin mumbled under her breath before being pushed into the closet with rufio. When the door was opened up seven minutes later the two were awkwardly kissing. Meulin saw the door open and ran out of the closet and literally jumped into kurloz’s arms kissing him. Rufio got up and sat down next to horuss kissing his cheek. “I would appreciate it if you two neighver do that again” Horuss said quietly making rufioh laugh “She seriously counted out loud seven minutes then had a small panic attack before kissing me….i doubt she would try it again” Rufioh whispered in his matesprits ear smiling. It's fair to say Meulin has a spectacular birthday.
Chapter 24: The nightmares of Dave Strider
Im doing another nightmare chapter
Nightmares, horrible nightmares some of them different all of them making you lose your cool once you wake up. None of them have woken Karkat up yet thankfully. This time you woke up breathing heavily clutching on to the arm of the boy next to you, again good thing the boy sleeps like a goddamn rock. Maybe these are getting out of hand. Ok, Rose better be up this late to do her weird psychoanalysis shit.
TG: rose answer now
TT: Dave it is the middle of the night in what has become our new home. I’m tempted to log off right now and slap you in the face tomorrow for even affecting my sleep schedule in this way.
TG: rose you were already up and i have a problem here
TT: I was busy and I was going to sleep right before you contacted me Dave
TG: reading or fucking
TT: None of your “beeswax”.
TG: ok then i wont ask about you and your alien girlfriends weird fucking
TT: The point Dave.
TG: ive been having nightmares lately fix it
TT: I can not simply “fix” your psyche but I can assess it.
TG: ok asses this
TG: nightmares game shit time shit death fire swords bro crows
TT: The crows were foreseeable, have you talked with your brother lately the one from our timeline. Also who has recently died in these dreams of yours.
TG: no i havent talked to bro yet and you john jade and i mostly
TG: rose i dont need a relationship assessment i need you to fix my obviously fucked up dreamself
TT: It seems to me that the dreams involve people you care about dying which could be a fear you have from the game. Dave is the amazing Strider scared?
TG: rose im not scared of shit
TT: Well then, all joking aside. Dave we’re safe here there’s nothing to worry about besides us fighting with each other.
TG: yea fine see you tomorrow sis
TT: Goodnight Dave
You look over at Karkat. He’s getting some sleep for now, you may as well let him sleep in. You leave him a note saying that you’re going to stretch your legs and maybe talk to Terezi a bit or even Mayor to get this weird feeling out of your system.
It is now lunch time and your boyfriend is yelling at you...in the middle of the hallway. “I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU ALL DAY WHERE IN THE EVER LIVING BULGE CHASING SHIT HIVING FUCKITTY FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN STRIDER” Wow those were words...lots of words. They were aimed at you but you don’t answer. He yells at you some more but you just shrug and walk away towards the room you guys share and lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. He sits next to you and tries to make conversation for awhile but then gives up when you don’t answer and reads his dumb romance books “Strider i'm going to go beat captors ass at video games so if you wanna talk ill be there” he mumbled leaving the room and you still sit there not moving you don’t know when but eventually you put your headphones on to listen to some ill beats.
Chapter 25: Dave: go have quality time with your friends
“JOHN GIVE THAT BACK” Jade yells at her ecto brother who decided taking her cookie was absolutely hilarious. “Just grab it jade it's right there” He teases holding his arm up as far as it goes. “Fine” Jade says punching him in the gut and taking the cookie back. Jane giggled from behind you two smiling “Either of you could’ve just asked for another cookie” John shrugged “That's not as fun though” he said taking another cookie from the tray. Today was one of the rare occasions Rose would set up called “Human kids only” hang out days where they would all just hang out in a room with snacks and fun. “Drop it Lalonde” Dirk says looking over to Rose and Roxy who were trying to spike their own drinks. “Oh c’mon we’re just bonding Dirky” Roxy said giggling “There's a difference between bonding and alcohol addiction, and no bonding over the alcohol addiction doesn’t count” Rose rolled her eyes then looking around the room “Hey where's my half of the buzz kill squad?” John looked up from his little wrestle session with jade over another cookie “yea where is Dave I haven’t seen him in a while” John asked distracted long enough for Jade to flip him over “Jane made like four batches of cookies why are you two fighting over one” Jake asked looking at the siblings confused “It's about the principle Jake, if he would stop eating my cookies I would stop assaulting him” Jade said pushing John off of her to grab another cookie. “I’m going to go look for Dave who wants to come?” Rose asked refilling her drink that may of may not have booze in it. “I WILL” Jade and John yelled grabbing cookies for the trip. “We’ll stay behind this seems like a your timeline kinda thing” Dirk says to Rose who nods in response as she leaves the room. The three kids walk down the halls to Dave and Karkat's room. Rose bangs on the door frowing. “Dave Strider if you decided your interspecies makeouts were more important than hanging out with your friends i'm going to throw the most dignified tantrum ever” Jade giggles at her friend's remark while John sticks out his tongue “Ew Rose I don’t want that image in my mind thank you” Rose glared at the door unsatisfied with the answer she didn’t get from inside “DAVE I AM OPENING THIS DOOR DON’T BE INDECENT” she yells opening the door up to a Dave sitting on the bed headphones off staring into space. “Oh he didn’t hear us” Jade said running over to Dave and jumping on top of him giggling “DAVE” she yelled smiling. Dave's eyes widened as he removed the headphones “Harley what the fuck? You can’t just jump on people it's not cool” John laughed walking into the room. Rose was still frowning standing in the doorway. “Well we haven’t seen you in forever what did you expect her to do she is half dog” John remarked taking a bite out of one of his cookies. Jade rolled her eyes taking one of his cookies and shoving it in her mouth then flipping him off. Dave shook his head “Sorry didn’t make it to the hangout thing must've lost track of time” he said lifting jade off of him and standing up walking over to Rose as the other to followed bickering while walking back towards the room they were all meeting up in. “Where’s mr crabby pants?” Rose asked the words humorous but the tone not “Don’t know he walks in and out he’s really pissed at me” Dave says shrugging. “You never lose track of time Dave you know too much about it. What's wrong?” Rose asked looking Dave over. He looked like someone totally different everything was out of place about him when usually everything is so precise he couldn’t stand it any other way no matter how much he said he didn’t care. “Nothings wrong just been feeling off y’know” Rose nodded “Yes, have fun today because if you disappear like that again I think they’ll tear you head from your shoulders mr cool kid.” and that was the end of it.
Chapter 26: Fourteen days is a long time
“VRISKA SERKET” You are Vriska Serket and that sounds like your “totally just a friend” Terezi who you may or may not have left something on her neck “What could you have possibly done this time hmm?” Rose asks from the couch in the main room “For you information Lalonde I did exactly none of your gogdamn business.” You say and turn around only to be face to face with a very angry Pyrope “Heeeeeeeey sis” you are grabbed by the back of your shirt and dragged away to the room you two share which is basically a empty room the two of you found and alchemized furniture for so you could hang out without having to explain your matespritship to people. “Serket, what the fuck is on my neck” She’s currently glaring at you while you try not to giggle at how funny she looks when she’s mad, it just doesn't fit her. “The hickey or My sign in sharpie.” “THERE'S A HICKEY TOO” You giggle slightly “Maaaaaaaaybe” She’s pacing now “None of this would’ve happened if you weren’t such a heavy sleeper.” Terezi abruptly stopped and smirked at you “I'm staying at Dave's for fourteen days” she said grabbing a bag and throwing her stuff into it. “WHAT no, no you aren’t doing that.” you say walking after her frowning she doesn’t just get to leave thats not fair. “Oh yea I am seven days for each thing on my neck. Also you won’t have any contact with me for those fourteen days or I add seven more.” “You couldn’t even make it eight?” Terezi shook her head “Nope because that would’ve made you semi-happy about this. Pity you bye” she said kissing your forehead before leaving while you pouted in the room. This wasn’t fair.
Chapter 27: Dave win the guy with an ironic show of love
TA: 2trider go fiix kk he’2 beeiing a liittle 2hit
TG: yea ok
You are Dave strider and the target has been acquired. You planned this out very thoroughly and it's the perfect way to apologize to your boyfriend for throwing the most totally ironic temper tantrum ever.
You walk up to Karkat and grab his shirt spinning him around and kissing him. Hell yea this is the kind of rom com shit he loves he’s so going to take you back now. You break the kiss looking down at him “i'm sorry Karkles” he frowns at you “you're going to be” and he pulls you back into a kiss it lasts a bit before you break again “let me guess you're picking the movie tonight” “for the next week fuckass and cuddling only don't you fucking dare try to make a single move on me” he responds grinning before you guys are kissing again ending the little session with a “i guess i can live with that” before heading off to go watch the troll version of thirteen going on thirty.
Chapter 28: It was just a glass of water
You and cronus fell asleep while watching grease again. He’s so adorable when he’s sleeping, you'd never tell him that though he might get triggered by such a statement and you don't want that to happen when keeping it to yourself is also a perfectly fine thing to do. Your reasoning for leaving the perfectly comfy bed you were just in was to retrieve water from the main room. This is what you do. walking down the hallway and into the room opening the fridge looking. You don't even notice the hands around your neck until you can't breath and stars fill your vision. You don't try to yell for help or even try to remove the hands from your neck you feel almost frozen. Soon you know you can't stay conscious for long, and after you notice this the hands are gone from your neck and you're pushed into the cabinets before hearing the sounds of someone leaving rather quickly. You pick yourself up grab a waterbottle and head back to the room you were in minutes before. You grab your sweater and throw it over the t-shirt you were going to sleep in to hide the hand bruising. “Kan, water you doin?” You would’ve giggled at the fish pun slip if you weren’t currently flipping out. You got out of the habit of sleeping with your sweater on a while after you and cronus started dating. “I'm just cold” You say quietly walking back over to the bed and lying down. Cronus looks at you like you're insane but drops it and goes to bed.
“Cronus are you alright?” you ask looking at your boyfriend he was just sitting there reading quietly and it wasn't like him to just sit there and it's upsetting you. “I'm fine Kankri” Cronus responded but he obviously wasn't. He never called you by your name ever no matter how much you asked him to. Was he upset with you? Did you do something wrong? “Did I do something to upset you? If I did I would prefer if you'd tell me so I could avoid doing it again.” You said frowning “You got a glass of water. I could get a glass of water in the middle of the night too you know.” He snapped frowning “What are you talking about I just got water” Cronus slammed the book shut without even putting a bookmark it...then again he probably wasn't even reading it. “Yea just got a glass of water and haven’t taken your sweater off for like three nights now!” You adjust your sweater “It's cold” you mumble realising wearing your sweater to bed three times in a row probably wasn't a good idea when trying to avoid suspicion. “It's not cold kankri!” He yelled pulling the turtleneck part of your shirt down showing off the bruising. “Shit” is all cronus said before you wrapped yourself in the blanket and hid under it. “Kan i’m sorry” he said and you feel him shifting and lying down next to you. “It’s all my fault for being this way anyway” you say trying not to cry. “For being what way kan. Adorable as shit?” “No, flaunting it like it's something to be proud of I should’ve been more like Karkat” Cronus laughed “Kan come out of the blanket you’re gonna get heat stroke.” You slowly unravel yourself from the blanket and look at cronus “arms up” You lift up your arms frowning “Stop that face I know you probably have two shirts and a tank top on under this.” he said taking your sweater off. He then pulled you over to him and kissed your forehead “Now listen to me, you aren’t Karkat and you’re definitely not that signless guy. You are Kankri fucking Vantas and you being a long winded caste hating adorable thing is what makes you you. Whoever did this is out of their pan and probably just did it cause it's dark and you were one of the only people up. Do not even start to think this is your fault chief got it?” You nod “Can we just go to bed now?” Cronus nodded and turned out the light moving closer to you wrapping his arms around you
Chapter 29: CG needs to learn memos never work
* CG made “BETA TIMELINES BULGEFUCKING GOGDAMN MESSAGE BOARD” *
CG: HEY FUCKERS KANKRI GOT AMBUSHED THE OTHER NIGHT NOW IF ANYONE HAS SOMETHING TO FUCKING TELL ME RIGHT NOW WOULD BE A MIGHTY FINE ASS GOGDAMN TIME TO DO IT.
AG: ha reeeeeeeeally karkat we're going 8ack to this way of communicating again. You know no one ever used the memos right?
CG: SERKET YOU KNOW NO ONE APPRECIATES YOU’RE BITCHY ASS ATTITUDE RIGHT? DON'T MAKE ME BLOCK YOU
TA: holy 2hiit 2omeone actually diid 2omethiing iintere2tiing for once. ii'm completely blown away from thii2 new iinformatiion
CG: OK NEW RULE ONLY COMMENT IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING HELPFUL TO SAY
TG: karkat has a nice ass
CG: STRIDER WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK
TG: It needed to be said
TT: I agree with Dave that that was helpful and needed.
TG: thaks sis but dont hit on my karkles
TT: I wasn’t but I do agree he does have a nice ass
*timaeusTestified has hacked the memo board*
TT: If we’re talking about asses here I submit Jakes as best even over yours Vantas.
TT: AW SHIT NO BRO STRIFE ROOF NOW
Chapter 30: GUESS WHOS BACK
HEY IM BACK AND I WILL BE UPDATING SOON SORRY FOR THE WAIT
“Bro can you keep the motherfuckin light all up and on i'm scared of the motherfuckin dark” You sigh looking at your moirail and roll you're eyes “Gam there's literally no fucking goddamn reason you should be scared of the fucking dark, if anything you’re the thing people are scared is lurking in the dark” You say turning to him frowning. You guys were having a sleepover and decided to go to bed after watching two romcoms and a marathon of a reality show about a human freak show and were actually having a pretty fun time making fun of the fire swallower and her need of an attitude adjustment. “Yes there motherfuckin is bro mothefuckers be lurking in the dark lately i don't wanna all up and be involved with that...just the other day you're motherfuckin red brother all up and lost his words because a motherfucker surprised him in the dark” The last part of his little rant made you do a double take before turning on the light and you grab him by the shoulders “Gamzee. Are you meaning to tell me that you saw Kankri get attacked?” He nods and you groan loudly “Why didn't you say anything? Did you see who it was?” Gamzee put a finger up to his lips and his eyes went purple for a split second scaring the shit out of you that highblood voodoo crap always made him look like his scary ass dancestor and it was terrifying “It's a secret bro they are all up and motherfuckin sorry for what they did” You sigh again “well if “they” ever do something like that again i'm going to kill them and if I find out it was you i'm going to…….not kill you but it will be worse”
oooh theres a witness....or a suspect?
Chapter 32: The plot thickens
“Mew mew my room now” You say after banging on meulin and kurloz’s room for a solid two minutes and the girl finally answered “What’s wrong tula?” Meulin asked as you basically dragged her to you and tunas room “Tuna babe go see Kurloz. Mew and I have girl stuff to talk about.” Mituna stuck his tongue out “Ew okey hve fun talkin bout bra’th” tuna said walking out to go hang out with his moirail. “Wow, Tuna is sounding better” Meulin commented laying on your bed. You smile happy someone else is noticing “Yea, I think part of the whole “winning” package was us getting fixed it's slow but he’s getting better” “Now what was pur puroblem?” Meulin asked smiling “Oh uh...mew, I- I think kurloz is the one who you know” You make a strangling motion with your hands. Meulin just giggled “No, it couldn’t have been purloz he wouldn’t do something like that” You sighed “Mew, you’re a heavy sleeper. Kurloz has been acting weird lately can you please just ask him” You say quietly. She just nods hugs you and walks out.
Chapter 33: The trial
The day of the trial was something that everyone agreed was one of the most serious things everyone ever did after the game. Kurloz was the one everyone agreed did it and he even confessed to Meulin saying he had no clue what mirthful shit came over him but he really was sorry about Kankri even though the two were never that close a brother should never hurt his own.
Aranea was the prosecution and Terezi was defending Kurloz. Porrim and Kanaya were the appointed judges because everyone thought they were the most fair. “Mr. Makara with his blood color and aspect has an overly high chance of losing it without meaning to he confessed and apologized to the victim which in his case is really all he could do he can’t help the rage much like most of us can’t help the aftermaths of our aspects.” Terezi said she was completely serious today and even wore her old Flarping outfit for the occasion. “He couldn’t help it? Well I do agree with you that rage players are known to be loose canons I doubt he couldn’t help it or that all he could do to fix things was to apologize. I mean thats not what you thought when his dancestor was caught doing only slightly worse to his fellow players. Actually if i do remember correctly you-” “Aranea i’m not going to stop you but I am warning you not to continue that thought just to get your point across.” Kanaya said looking at the shark grin slowly crossing Terezi’s face. “I'm good but thank you. As I was saying if I remember correctly you felt that an extreme punishment was in order for Gamzee what's different about Kurloz?” Terezi walked over to Aranea so the two were only about a foot away from each other. “The difference miss bitchy is that Kurloz actually couldn’t help it for whatever reason that was he couldn’t stop himself and he showed immense regret. Also now that you’ve picked at that scab even though you were warned against it. Gamzee also shows immense regret and is now reformed according to both his moirail Karkat Vantas and matesprit Tavros Nitram, so keep your mouth on the trial at hand or keep it shut.” Terezi said then sat back down “So he shows regret but is that regret that he did it or regret that he got caught. If he can’t keep himself from choking an innocent in the middle of the night whats to keep him from say killing one of us while we’re asleep hmm?” Terezi opened her mouth to answer but was cut off by Porrim clearing her throat. “Kanaya and I agree that everyone has heard enough from you two to make our decision. Also that we would like the following to be away from the proceeding decision. Terezi Pyrope, Aranea Serket, Cronus Ampora, Kurloz Makara, and Gamzee Makara.
Once the five of them had left Kanaya turned to the crowd “Porrim and I have decided to put the notion forward that Kurloz be put in the custody of Meulin Leijon, Mituna Captor, and Latula Pyrope to make sure he is no longer a risk to his fellow peers.” “All in agreeance please raise your hand.” About three quarters of the room raised their hands and Porrim nodded. “Remember you three you are now responsible for everything Kurloz does watch him closely.”
Chapter 34: Terezi: explain fairness to an old friend
Terezi talks with an old friend about how fun fair can be
This chapter will have gamrezi blackrom fluff because i think theyd be cute together if it were healthy
After the trial you were sent with Makara, aranea, kurloz, and cronus to rooms where you couldn’t hear what everyone decided on.
*TEN MINUTES EARLIER*
You were walking away from the court set up when you were stopped by kanaya “Terezi, I know it's asking a lot but do you think you could watch Gamzee, just to make sure he doesn’t lurk around or anything” You're face was doing it's best to portray the words “are you fucking insane” without saying them but you didn’t think it got the point across so you said it anyway “Are you fucking insane” You whisper yelled at your friend frowning “I doubt he will try anything now that Karkat and Tavros have him more stable please can you do this for me just for my sanity’s sake” Kanaya said clasping her hands together “Fine but only because I would prefer that karkles main source of not losing his shit stayed unchainsawed” You give in sniffing over kanaya's shoulder at Karkat and Gamzee talking “You already told him I said yes didnt you?” you asked looking at your fashionable friend “I knew you would do the right thing and if you said no i would’ve literally gotten on my knees and begged” Kanaya half joked smiling before turning around and walking back “HEY CLOWN FUCK” You yell drawing the two moirails attention “Let’s go” Karkat fussed with Gamzee a bit more before you actually heard the clowns feet behind you
*BACK TO THE PRESENT*
You two are sitting in an empty room on complete opposite sides. You were planning the trial of officer purple berry in your head when something hit you. You look down and see it was a skittle. “Well then that's a little strange” you think before going back to your planning. Another skittle. Then another. You smell around you and notice there's a lot more surrounding you then there were that hit you. One just hit your horn. That’s it you're done with this nonsense “MAKARA” you heard the clown chuckle to himself “Yea sis” “If you are the one FUCKING DOING THAT I will kill you” You yell as another skittle hits you “come at me motherfucker” gamzee says laughing continuing to throw the skittles at you. “Oh you're on” You say grabbing a couple of the skittles surrounding you and tossing them in his direction “ahh motherfuck how are you so motherfucking good at this” You laugh hearing gamzees surprised voice as you throw the skittles at him for a blind girl you have a pretty good aim. Gamzee pours more of the skittles out of the bag and continues to fling them at you laughing. Eventually the two of you moved from you're sitting positions and end up lying next to each other by the time gamzee called a truce claiming he was starting to get hungry and his snack was being used as ammo. So you two just lay there sharing a bag of skittles quietly. “That was a lot more fun than winning all the motherfucking time” gamzee said popping a yellow skittle into his mouth. “Yea playing fair usually is more fun Makara” You reply guessing at what he’s getting at and thinking what would happen if you two did get back together. “Ya think we should all up and try again?” he finally asks turning so he was lying on his side to face you so you do the same and look at him “I thought you said you were hungry?” you said knowing what he meant but not wanting to answer it. “Sis you know that's not what i was motherfucking all up and getting at.” he said seriously frowning “Yea….yea i know. Gam if we’re going to do this we’re talking about it like adults, now hand me a green one” you say holding your hand out waiting as gamzee searches through his little pile of skittles “We are nowhere near being adults though and I don't want to be” He replied handing you a couple green skittles “too bad because we’re talking about it. If this is going to work you're going to need to fight fair you're dumb chuckle fuck voodoo isnt fair, i'm not going to be the one to teach you what the black quadrant even fucking means but it's not what we had at all and you have to know that” You let out everything you’ve been wanting to say to him since before the game even ended it makes you feel better in a way. Gamzee just nodded and let you go on your little rant “So is that a yes” he asked once you were done and you slapped him across his face “Starting now yes but you deserved that” “I didn’t say i didn’t” Gamzee said smiling “but can we start tomorrow that trial was motherfucking draining and i'm going to take a nap” You nod laughing “I'm eating the rest of your skittles though” you say taking the bag away from him
Chapter 35: We're all just kids having fun at the end of the day no matter what happens
Dave and Dirk throw a party
Sorry for not updating take this extremely long chapter as my apology
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Almost everyone was waiting in the beta timelines main room. Dave and Dirk planned a huge party for everyone after the whole Makara debacle and it would only start after absolutely everyone was in the main room no skipping out on this fantastic shit.
While waiting for the party to start everyone kind of entertained themselves. John brought playing cards and him and vriska played war. “Looks like I win again johnny boy I am the queeeeeeeen of this game.” John laughed “Vriska the game is purely luc- OH YOU CHEATER USING GODTIER IS CHEATING” Gamzee and karkat were cuddled in a corner watching a movie on kakats husktop. “If he motherfucking likes her why doesn't he motherfucking tell her nothing wrong in all up and straight out telling a motherfucker.” Karkat paused the movie and sighed “Because she already has a matesprit and he already doesn't want to fucking tell her because of the gogdamn stigma from his peers about his blood color now shut the fuck up and let me watch the fucking movie” Rose and Kanaya were gossiping in the corner while drinking their shitty coffee. Dave decided he was an independent woman who didn't need no man and was chilling out with jade while she talked about the very complicated politics of the squiddles universe to feferi while using her own plushies for examples. “Now see green squiddle is personally my favorite but in the show-” “SQUIDDLE ATTACK” Feferi yelled throwing squiddles at jade giggling. “Gay” dave mumbled under his breath earning a squiddle attack x2 combo to the face from both girls. Sollux begun the night sitting on one of the couches coding silently by himself. As the night continued on he ended up laying his head on eridan's lap while coding as eridan played with his hair. Sometimes solluxs would tilt his head and tried to bite eridan because it was funny as shit but mostly he really didn't care less what position he was in as long as he was getting his coding done. “OW sol, sol you can't just bite people like that.” After managing to bite eridan the second time sollux went back to his coding “heh heh looks like I just did fithdick thuck it” “coddamn basshole” Eridan mumbled pretending to nurse his finger that didn't hurt anymore since sollux's teeth didn't even break skin. Nepeta, Equius, and Terezi were all chatting about how to effectively make a robot scalemate with purring ability and giggling while teasing Equius. “AC tackle pounces pur meowrail beclaws he can’t take a joke” Nepeta said tackling Equius from behind “Nepeta please refrain from this foolishness” Nepeta shook her head and wrapped herself around Equius “C’mon laugh sweatquius” Terezi smiled at and looked at the two “TICKLE FIGHT” she yelled jumping on top of the two other trolls. Dirk and Roxy were trying very hard to remove Jakes shirt from his body. “English dude just remove the shirt that's all we want it's a pretty simple request in my opinion” Roxy pulled at Jakes shirt as hard as she could “Git off ya lil bish” she said to the shirt frowning “I'm not taking off my shirt we are in a public area and even if we weren't I’m not removing my shirt.” “How ‘bout the shorts” “STRIDER” Jane and Meenah actually got along long enough to share some recipes but then Aranea walked into the main room in a pencil skirt and meenah got a little distracted. “Hey serk SERK whatcha wearin there” Meenah said walking after aranea. Mituna and Latula were loudly hanging out in a corner playing pokemon on their gamegrubs while kurloz and meulin were cuddling near them. “OOOH I'M SO GONNA BEAT YOOUUUU.” “Yea right babe i'm gonna kick your ass no matter how enticing.” The two said completely blocking out everyone else. “Purloz stop that tickles” Meulin said as kurloz kissed all over her face. Everyone was there, well almost everyone there were three trolls still missing but they arrived about twenty minutes after everyone else. “I GOT HIM TO COME” Cronus yelled dragging a Kankri with a little help from Porrim “seriously Kanny this is ridiculous it's just a party” Kankri seemed a little upset with this “Porrim you know that i disapprove of that nickname and i have explained it to you many times tha-” “SHUT THE FUCK UP” Vriska yelled while cleaning up the card deck for john. “Excuse me miss serket but i detes-” “Kanny shh” Porrim said frowning Kankri grumbled to himself but took a seat on one of the many folding chairs they had lying around. Dave stood up “LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED”
The first party activity was Karaoke and like before the rule was that everyone had to sing at least once. Dirk and Roxy were first and just sang a song they called jake's ass and it made everyone especially jake severally uncomfortable. Feferi ran onto the stage after that and waved at jade “Uh Jade this is too you” she said before singing jane doe. After the song everyone awwed and john made a gagging noise leading to his ectosis punching him in the shoulder. “Joohn don’t be as asshole” Jade said smiling as fef ran off the stage and tackle hugged her “I glub you cuddlefish” Feferi said grinning at jade “I glub you too fefersea” Jade said attempting fish pun but it didn't work and she was informed of that by everyone around her saying never to say that again. Karkat was next being forced by Dave onto the stage and he sang take it out on me and it wasn't really that bad despite how raspy and loud his voice was on the usual. Latula and Meulin sang hard out here and giggled most of the time while tuna was yelling from his little spot next to kurloz “YOU GO BABE YASSichichb” and kurloz gave a thumbs up to meulin while shooshing tuna. Porrim was the next to volunteer. “Porrim please try not to trigger anyone while you're up there” Kankri said looking up at his moirail (though he’d never admit they were moirails) “Shut up Kanny” Porrim said going up to the karaoke equipment and singing sex yeah by marina and the diamonds. Eridan went up and sang you’ll be back from hamilton and didn't sound terrible...sollux still threw a water bottle at him though. Dirk and roxy later drunkenly stumbled up to the Karaoke equipment and sang problem badly. “DAVEEEEY IZ YUR TURN” roxy yelled when they finished and waved her microphone in Daves direction. Dave and Meenah shrugged and went up to sing anaconda. Jake sang old fashioned lover boy and was then smothered in drunken kisses from dirk. Sollux and mituna sang this is going to hurt while kurloz signed it. Kankri sang hopelessly devoted to you which was followed with cronus singing greased lightning. After it looked like everyone finished John and Dave walked up to the scourge sisters who were sitting and talking to each other. “Hey rez, you havent sang yet the fucks up with that?”Dave asked frowning “You either Vriska come on everyone else did” Vriska smirked and stood up running a hand through Johns hair “It looks like we haven't what do you think sis are they ready?” Terezi cackled smiling grabbing Vriskas hand and running up to the karaoke equipment “DAVE TURN ON THAT COOL KID MASH UP THING I MADE” Terezi yelled smiling while Vriska pretended like she could care less that she was now in front of everyone. Dave turned on a song that sounded like a mashup of two songs and gave a thumbs up to terezi. As the two began to sing.
Funny that after everything that you’ve done wrong
You’ll take me back no matter how long
I no longer feel the need to be as strong
I'll give you a place where you can belong
And without you i think that i would
I try to wipe away the guilt that plagues me every day knowing that you deserve so much more
I may be blind but i can see you are nothing short of guilty but i've fallen for this thief the one whos seems nothing like me
And I know that this could never be a mistaaaaaaaake
Because without you i know that i would
Oh sister i'm trying
There's no reason for lying
Oh sister would you ever regret what you've done
Oh sister it's justice
I got just what i wanted
Oh sister thems the breaks
We’re never gonna
The two finished and Vriska took terezi’s microphone and handed both to Dave before kissing terezi smiling. They sat back down as mostly everyone looked at them with wide eyes. “Vriska this is something you're supposed to tell me” John whined pouting “What I waaaaaaaanted to tell you but she’s convincing.” Terezi grinned “sloppy makeouts distract her long enough to forget she wanted to tell you especially when it leads to “other” things” “I DID NOT NEED TO HEAR THAT PYROPE” Karkat screeched from his chair. “Yea guys ew” John said sticking his tongue out. Dirk set a small ball with a light inside on the karaoke set so that the room was given a disco look then turned the lights out as Dave started playing music. “Rave party” Aradia said flatly grabbing sollux and giggling as she dragged him away and started dancing “AA stop you look ridiculous” “LIKE I CARE” Aradia shouted smiling. Dave sat back down next to Karkat who looked at dave frowning. “Whats wrong kitkat?” “Dave where the fuck are the snacks i'm hungry” Karkat asked clearly upset that he hadn't eaten yet. “Hot grandma egbert will have them out soon but here i saved some chocolate that I stole from you the other day” Dave said taking out a piece of chocolate and feeding it to karkat “fuck you strider i'm not a grub asshole i can feed my damn self” “Dude that was suppose to be cute and then you started talking you almost took my whole finger off with you're nubbly ass troll teeth.” Dave said throwing the wrapper at John who blamed it on Jade “They're not nubbly fucker” karkat grumbled frowning “They are nubbly like they are sharper than mine but still nubbly as shit” Dave said grinning at his troll boyfriend who was getting pissed “Shut the fuck up i'll ha-” Dave kissed karkat trying not to laugh as Karkat semi-flips the fuck out but doesn't pull away. “May I have this dance ms. Maryam?” Rose asked holding her hand out to Kanaya. “Rose are you sure about this?” Kanaya asked looking around shyly “It’ll be fun I promise” Rose said smiling. Kanaya took the hand and stood up. Rose surprised her by twirling her in a circle making both girls burst out laughing. “Are we really doing this?” kanaya asked laughing as she and rose slow danced to a rap song “I’ve made it very clear that yes we are doing this”
Again sorry for the gap in updates iv'e been super busy and going through some shit
Chapter 36: You have some explaining to do
Several days after the party you were heading back to the room you shared with Vriska happily smiling you had helped dave and the mayor with the newer additions to can town and got some cherry candy from the mayor which made you especially happy and now you were going to hang out with your matesprit and finish your great day with cuddles and maybe sloppy makeouts. You open the door and were met with getting pinned to the wall. You looked up smelling the air it was definitely vriska and fear, fear that wasn’t yours “It’s me Vriska look at me” you said quietly not daring to move she wasn't all there you could feel it. You couldn’t stay still anymore and you hugged her tightly “It’s ok” She seemed to relax after that “Want to lie down?” you asked still hugging her tightly. Feeling her nod you slowly move the two of you to the bed and lie down pulling the blanket over you. “I’m sorry” she said burying her head in your neck you can tell she's crying now “Don’t be it wasn't your fault” You say brushing a hand through her hair “You don't have to tell me if you don’t want to but I would tell John” She moved when you said that and wiped her eyes “I don’t need to talk to anyone sis it was a one time thing i'm fine” You put your glasses on the nightstand and faced her “Don’t lie to me” she sighed and grabbed your hand “Don’t flip on me rezi” “I kind of have to if you refuse to talk to John” You say frowning knowing this would probably end in a fight “John doesn’t need to talk to me when there’s nothing wrong” She mumbled frowning “Well obviously there is something wrong if it shook you up this bad. How many times has it happened?” You asked frowning “Twice the first time was right after the trial while you were watching Makara no one was around and I was fine.” You shake your head “But I came in and you weren’t...give me your dice” “WHAT” she's pissed now you know she’s getting mad by how she basically sounds like a gogdamn banshee “Serket if that happens and you hurt someone, which you could even without your dice you'll never forgive yourself” “I SAID DON’T FLIP ON ME” “AND I SAID DON’T LIE TO ME GIVE ME THE FUCKING DICE” You two haven’t really yelled at each other like this since your old flarping days. She digs in her pocket and pulls out the dice dropping them on the bed. “Thank you Vriska” you said quietly grabbing you're cane and putting the dice in a small compartment near the top “Can we cuddle now?” vriska asked quietly and you nod putting your cane back next to the bed “Yes but only if we watch troll law and order”
It was all going fine you were just making yourself some shitty ass coffee when everything changed. You were running pretty fast too, chasing something. Someone. You need to catch them before the sun comes up, fuck this asshole is fast. You hear something and follow it trapping your prey to a tree. A wall. There are no walls in the woods. Somethings hugging you and the world comes back into focus. There was no woods, no prey, no threat of getting back to your hive before the sun comes up. You were fine the entire time, but now you have some explaining to do.
Chapter 37: I COULD HAVE BEEN DYING
You were in your room making some very ill beats when your headphones slip and you hear your phone flipping the actual fuck out
CG: GODFUCKING DAMNIT STRIDER
*TT missed a call from GC*
CG: HELLO FUCKASS ANSWER
*TT has come online*
TT: Hey kitkat
CG: STRIDER YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO ANSWER YOUR GRUBFUCKING GODDAMN BULGE CHAFING PHONE
TT: Sorry karkles I was laying down some ill beats over here
CG: I COULD HAVE BEEN DYING
TT: Were you dying
CG: I COULD HAVE BEEN
TT: what did you need babe
CG: I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING FUNNY ENGLISH DID BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE
TT: I was only twenty minutes late karks it's not that bad
CG: THE OTHER STRIDER SAYS I GET TO TOP NEXT TIME BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T ANSWER YOUR PHONE
TT: OH FUCK NO TELL DIRK TO MEET ME ON THE ROOF STRIFE NOW
TT: and just so you know no you will not be topping sorry karks
Chapter 38: Vriska needs sleep
“Ok John as your moirail I feel it my job to open your gogdamn eyes to what's happening” Vriska said just barging into her human friends room causing him to fall off the bed in surprise. “VRISKA, you have to knock I could’ve been indecent” John said his face still in the carpet he wasn’t indecent he was in ghostbuster boxers and one of vriska's shirts she forgot in his room and just became his. “John, that and you having a great personality is the reason i'm here...get on the bed” John stood up and sat on the bed. Once vriska sat down he grabbed a pillow and hit her head from behind. “You have to knoooooooock” Vriska fixed her hair took the pillow and threw it across the room “You will not distract me with human pillow fights” John rolled his eyes and leaned back “Fine what's the super important thing you want to talk about this time?” Vriska grinned “We need to get you a matesprit” John groaned “Vriiiiiiiiska” “What” Vriska asked curious as to what she upset him with. “I’ve told you i'm content” Vriska sighed “I know John but there’s so many of us you have so many good choices, you could literally get with anybody” Vriska pointed out adjusting John's hair so it wasn’t as messed up as before, after the two of you met it became a habit for you to constantly fix anything wrong. Straighten his shirt, adjust his glasses, make sure his hair looks presentable and not what it is. “What about Jade you two seem to get along well, or Karkat” John stuck his tongue out and made a face “Ew, Vriska. Jade's my sister and I would appreciate not getting very very injured by Dave for trying to get Karkat who doesn’t like me and I don’t like him” Vriska groaned and put her face in John's shoulder “Joooooooohn” John laughed at his friend. “You’re ridiculous” he said opening his arms up so him and vriska could cuddle. “John. Just because we’re cuddling doesn’t mean this conversation is over.” Vriska said scooting over to John and letting him wrap his arms around her and relaxing. “When did you last actually sleep?” John asked putting his glasses on the bedside table. “I don't know, the trial...maybe” John shook his head “Just take a nap ‘riska it’ll be fine you need to rest” Vriska sighed “Just a small one, wake me up if shit starts going downhill” John nodded his head and made sure vriska closed her eyes before he closed his.
Chapter 39: The cool kid will shoosh
Terezi was running around in dave's godtier cape laughing as it flew behind her “DAVE DO YOU SEE IT, WHOOSH” Terezi yelled happily. Dave had Terezi’s cane and dragon cape smiling slightly “Yea I see it tz” Dave said as Terezi ran around making the cape fly up.
Terezi was like a little kid when she finally let’s go and let’s herself be happy. You noticed this the first time you saw her face to face. She was hilariously childish when she was happy and didn’t have anything to worry about. She hasn’t been like that in a while though. Makes you wonder what changed to make her stop blaming herself for every wrong thing that happens to people she cares about. You guys switched capes for the day. She gave you her cane (which you’re pretty sure she doesn't need anyway) and you gave her an extra pair of shades that she put on over her red glasses. “C’mon cool kid” Terezi said pulling on your sleeve once she was done running around playing with your cape “I'm comin i'm comin” You said following her to her room and laying on the scalemate pile so the two of you could chill. “How’s Karkles?” She asked you holding a white plushie with red eyes to her chest. “We’ve been doing better, I got over that slump I had and we made up” Terezi nodded taking your shades off her face and throwing them somewhere. Looks like those are hers now. “How ‘bout Serket?” You ask grinning at her previous actions. The two of you did this every couple weeks. You just hung out and let each other vent and then after you were done you drank apple juice and played video games. “She’s been freaking the fuck out since the game ended. I had to take her dice” You leaned back in the soft pile and sighed “She was pretty pissed huh?” Terezi nodded and went over to you lying down “I had to she refused to talk to John about it. She could’ve hurt someone or herself I wasn’t going to leave her with them” “Spider bitch has always dealt with stuff differently than you do Tez, taking her weapon might be the only thing you should do to try and help her with this. I would be happy she trusts you enough to give them to you.” “Yea” Terezi mumbled before deciding that her body is a claw machine and you are a choice stuffed animal “Again with the cuddling tez?” You ask smiling down at her. Terezi stuck her arm up and put a finger to your lips “The cool kid will shoosh” You laugh and ruffle her hair “Yea ok the cool kid will shoosh”
Chapter 40: These bitches are pale and its cute
These bitches are pale
I have a headcanon that Cronus drops his cool kid act around meenah and his speech becomes more like eridans and relaxed. Plus that the two act a lot like siblings sometimes
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
You and Kankri were sitting on the couch in the main room when you feel someone climb onto the couch and sit on your shoulders wrapping their arms around your neck “Oi glub fa brains can I sit up here?” You smile, of course it's Meenah who else would attempt this like it's something normal. “I don't give a shit Peixes just don't mess up my hair while your up there” You sit there and continue watching tv for a bit before you notice how much Meenah isn’t talking. The girl wasn't anything like Kan or Aranea but she definitely was never this silent. “Hey Kan I’ll be right back” You say ruffling kankris hair after he nods making him roll his eyes and begin fixing it “Jus give me a sec ta get down cro” “Oh no you stay up there let’s go” You say standing up and heading towards your friends room. You type in the code for her room (you have no clue why she gave it to you. (The code is fushia bitchcraft8 ) You enter the room finding it a mess as always and sit on the floor letting Meenah get down from your shoulders. “We are in my room why?” She asked you hand on her hip “Somethin’s wrong with ya and it's not just ya messed up face this time” You say standing up just to flop onto her bed “Oh hush up fishfuck i’ve just been a lil down ya know?” She sat down next to you and started jabbing at your stomach frowning “Ey shoes off mah bed cro what are ya captor shoes off the bed” You groan and kick your shoes off rolling your eyes “Happy your bitchiness?” “It’s highness to you fucker” Meenah said smiling. The two of you always liked talking to each other because all the filters you used in front of your friends disappeared and everything felt natural. The two of you were moirails way back when you were small but ended it after she ran off to the moon and you became more of a douchebag. Once the game ended the two of you started talking again and rekindled what you once had. “Seariously meen what's wrong?” Meenah shook her head “Say a thing to anyone and I cull ya on sight” she said pointing a finger at you making you laugh “Who am i gonna tell? You’re gonna have ta learn to trust me eventually when it comes ta shit like this” You say watching Meenah she gives away more than she thinks with just how she acts. She looks like she's going to cry which makes you want to comfort her already but then she won’t tell you what's wrong. “What the fuck does that human kid have that I don’t cro she’s driving me fucking insane with this shit. Is she mad at me, fuck shes glubbing mad at me aint she?” Meenah blurted out pulling on her braids concentrating try to find answers to her own questions “You're makin a mess’a your braids meen” you said frowning not having the courage to say what you were actually thinking because it was all anger at Aranea for being a bitch to Meenah and hitting on that human kid anyway. “I don't give a shit cro about my coddamn braids” Meenah said but stopped pulling on her hair and decided tapping her fingers on her arm was something else she could do “She says shes flushed for me and all that carp but she turns around and starts messin around with that kid.” You shake your head “I hate talking bad about Aranea but her being a bitch to you is not something you should have to put up with. I know the you’ve had that huge crush on her forever but she needs to know she can’t act like that and still expect for you to want to be together and you need to tell her that.” Meenah shook her head “I’ll try kay cro? Clam down I don’t need ya gettin anotha black eye cause yo fuckin bitchfits” You rolled your eyes and stood up “ya feelin any beta though?” You asked because that's what really mattered from this whole jam. “A little cro, I think ima take a nap”Meenah said yawning “See ya later meen” You said and left turning the light out as you did.
If you'd like to read what inspired me shipping cronus and meenah pale read the amazing work of art that is "And the little children" http://archiveofourown.org/works/599191/chapters/1080900 Im serious read it its amazing
Chapter 41: A second first kiss
“Hold the fuck still shitclown or i'm going to paint this on your goddamn horns” You growl at your kismesis as you try to paint his toenails. “This shit is motherfucking weird it's messing with my toes.” Gamzee said talking about the toe seperator you put in and wiggling his toes “MAKARA” You snap messing up once again because of his constant fidgeting. “Also if you hate it so much you shouldn’t make bets you can’t win” You say re-painting his first toe for about the seventh time. You were painting his nails a lovely teal that dave gave you awhile ago. You finally finish the first toe and move onto the second one. “I motherfucking hate this” gamzee grumbled under his breath leaning onto his back and once again making you mess up “It wouldn’t take as long if you would STAY THE FUCK STILL” Gamzee groaned and started picking at your carpet “I'm letting a blind bitch have paint near my body motherfucking why again?” he mumbled to himself “Because your a fucking idiot in facepaint who thinks he can out faygo chug me?” You said smirking “Motherfucking shut up already your voice is like a motherfucking broken ass horn” You move on to the next toe talking is keeping him distracted enough for you to actually get this shit done. “Really? Cause yours sounds like an asshole who actually knows what a broken shitty ass horn sounds like. Oh wait I forgot you're a shitty ass juggalo who has nothing to do with his life” The two of you went back and forth until you cut him off with a “Ok im done now fuckface you can get up” Gamzee smiled “Motherfucking finally” he said the two of you getting up. “Motherfucker did you get taller?” He asked it was an innocent question really after the word battle/argument conversation the two of you had “Nope, but I can make you shorter” “wha-” You grab his shirt and pull him down kissing him. Your first kiss back together really should’ve been for a different reason besides you wanting to bite his tongue and make him shut up for half a second. You did just that though only pulling away after probably making his tongue bleed and clawing the back of his shirt to the point where it was shredded. You laughed at the look of surprise and anger on his face “That was for not sitting still” You said walking over to your door and opening it. He growled at you smacking your horn as he left. He took his shirt off as he walked away. “STUFF IT IN A VENT WHYDONCHA” You yelled after him earning a middle finger. You laughed even after you shut the door feeling triumphant.
Chapter 42: Rolal: WHY IS YOUR BB BRO SUCH A DOUCHENOZZLE?
“OMGZEES I can't believe my baby brother is such a douchenozzle!” The slightly tipsy blonde yelled from her bed which she was half hanging off of. “Rox I resent that statement. I am not a douchenozzle I am Dirk. Also i'm older than you.” Roxy rolled her eyes and threw one of her many plushies at Dirk. “Well you lose your older than one dayzness privilege because you're a DOOUUCHENOOOZZLE” Roxy sang frowning at her friend. “I apologize that i’ve upset you” Dirk said grinning slightly at the small blonde girls behavior “yea yea mr “Striders don't say I love you” you know what Lalondes say I love you because we’re not...finish my sentence dirky lalondes aren’t” She said pointing at Dirk “Straight?” Dirk said smirking “NO...well yes...but wrong for this. WE AREN’T DOUCHENOZZLES” Roxy yelled frowning “You can’t just act like Jakey is just your fuck buddy forever even though he got the booty” “He do. But here's where you're wrong rolal I can and I’ll never have to say I love you. What if bro was to fucking just appear and hear that not risking it lalonde nope” Roxy groaned once again “Oh my goood Dirky what the fuck is wrong with your dumb cute head.” Dirk rolled his eyes “It was cut off that one time if that's what you're asking” he said shrugging “Nonononono. Wait, ive heard you say it before” “That was when I was drunk lalonde doesn’t count it compromised my right thinking mind” Roxy shook her head and leaned closer to dirk from the bed “No when you were doing the “things” next door” she whisper yelled at him grinning “also doesnt count” “GODDAMNIT COME WITH ME YOU LIL FUCK” The now very frustrated blonde said grabbing her friend and marching next door to Dirk and Jake's room and banging on the door “ENGLISH I SWEAR TO WHATEVER ENTITY CREATED US OPEN THIS DOOR” She screamed holding Dirk by the ear “jiminy crickets rox whats wrong” Jake said rubbing his eyes as he opened the door “I thought you guys were having a sleepover?” “Hey guys I heard yelling everyone ok?” Jane asked exiting her room in a blue nightgown and then looking Dirk and Roxy up and down “Strider what did you do?” Roxy smirked “Well now that we have an audience” Roxy said and cleared her throat ”….DIRK DOESNT SAY I LOVE YOU BECAUSE HE’S A DOUCHENOZZLE” Dirk sighed and shook his head slightly which kind of hurt because of the tight hold to his ear. “DIRK STRIDER” Jane exclaimed smacking Dirk's head frowning “Ow crocker fuck why?” “Say I love you to your boyfriend right this minute” Jane said putting a hand on her hip. Dirk sighed and looked at Jake and then back at the angry being that was Jane Crocker and then back to Jake. He did love him but saying it was a little clingy wasn't it and Jake knew he loved him so why did he have to say it. Saying it would be super uncoo- fuck it “I love you Jake english and I’ve loved you since we were idiot kids on dumbass islands.” Dirk smiled that kind of felt good and warm and happy. He decided he’ll say it more but only in private we don't need everyone knowing the Strider prince is a huge sap do they?
I've noticed a lack of the dirkjake lately so heres so cute gay boys
You’re boyfriend is an idiot. You are more of an idiot for making him a pull up bar in the first place though. You’ve recently made a pull up bar to your boyfriend's request and you highly regret it. Not only has the adorable idiot manage to hit his head on it several times but recently he has exceeded the level of dumb shit things you thought someone could do on a pull up bar. So you are just chilling in the room listening to some ill beats when English decided his regular pull up routine would be so much more fun if he started fucking swinging on the goddamn thing. You are a genius but even you can't change the fact that physics and gravity is still a thing. The pull up bar and Jake fly off the door frame and onto the ground jake landing on his ass very confused as to what just happened. “Thats it no more fucking pull up bar for you.” you say frowning getting up to grab take the bar down “What STRIDER THIS ISNT FAIR” “Like I care whats fair English you're gonna hurt yourself worse if I leave it up” You said walking towards the closet before getting tackled to the ground with the yell of “DISTRACTION” The two of you then had sloppy makeouts and after that you took the pull up bar down and gave it to Dave at least his boyfriend is short enough to where he wont bang his head on it and die.
Chapter 44: Don't bite people its rude
Rose being a mean drunk
“Hey Rose” Dave said walking into the main room waving at Rose as he walked by “Hey dove uh Dave” Rose slurred giggling making Dave stop in his tracks and turn around “What you drinking there Lalonde?” He asked looking at his sister “Oh just a lil somethin called none of you're damn bidness davey” Dave shook his head and looked at Kanaya giving her the ‘why the fuck’ look “For your information Dave I informed her this was a bad idea but she didn't listen and I am not the boss of her “ Rose smiled proudly and kissed kanayas cheek “Thank you papaya i mean kanaya” Dave sighed and looked at Rose “Ok Rosey I think you’ve had enough hand it over” he said going to grab Rose’s glass “Don’t touch me Dave” Rose warned pulling the glass away from Dave’s hand “C’mon you’re do- OW FUCKING DAMNIT LALONDE” Dave yelled pulling his hand back quickly. “Rose dearest you can’t just bite people it's rude.” Kanaya said still looking down at her book giving 0 literal shits about the strifing siblings. “Like you're one to talk misssss sharp teeth” Rose slurred smiling “If anyone has sharp teeth it's you, fucking shark I think you broke skin” Rose laughed happily “Thank you Dave now leave me to my fun” Rose said going to kiss kanaya “Oh if you think we are doing that with that scent on your breath you're insane” Kanaya said turning a page making Dave laugh. Rose frowned at dave and kicked him in the stomach “Ow fuck ok i'm going i'm going” Dave said walking away choosing to just let Rose do whatever she wanted for now.
Chapter 45: Its too hot for Makaras bullshit
“IT'S FUCKING HOOOOT” You screech from your place on the floor causing a horn to be thrown at you. “Motherfuck sis the loudness was all up and not needed” Gamzee said sitting next to you “I'm in a state of distress fucker I can do whatever I want. Get me a faygo” You order grabbing the horn that bonked you and tossing it somewhere hearing the satisfying sound of something crashing shortly after “Get it you're motherfucking self i'm comfy” You sigh and stand up purposefully whacking Makara in the face with you cane while bending down to pick it up “OW MOTHERFUCK” Ha he deserved it. You giggle and grab a faygo out of the mini fridge you made him install because warm faygo is nasty. “Sorry it slipped” you say walking back unaware of the leg stuck in your way. This leg is what caused you to fall on the equally sweaty gamzee. “Ah mirthful messiahs why are you so motherfucking warm” “You're sweaty fuck no” the two of you said after about two second of contact. Ending in you slinking away to another spot on the floor. “Try that again chucklefuck and i will dump this faygo on your dumbass” You say taking a sip “Jokes on you sis that shits cold” You flip him off and continue to drink your faygo. It's too hot for Makaras bullshit
Chapter 46: poor karbros horrormares
Hey sorry for not posting lately I've been working on other fics i'm debating on whether i should post here or not tell me if you'd like more fics from me though i thrive on feedback. Anyway i'll post the other four tomorrow. Thanks for reading lovelies :)
You wake up to the sound of sniffling. “Karbro did you start watchin one of those motherfuckin sad movies again?” You mumble rubbing your eyes. You and your best bro had been having a palebro sleepover with all the necessities, huge comfy pile, his sad ass romcoms, and the motherfucking most important thing, candy. “Hey….bro?” You say turning over so you could actually see him. He was shaking. If something was this bad why in the messiahs did he not wake you. You wrap your arms around the small troll “shoooosh bro calm down you're getting yourself all shades of worked up c’mon shoosh” You do this until the shaking stops and he turns around wrapping his arms tightly around you like one of the motherfucking cute ass koala things Jade showed you. ‘This is not the time to be thinking about fluffy human creatures concentrate’ You think to yourself continuing to shoosh Karkat. “They’re all dead I fucked up Gam. I fucked everything up goddamnit” Karkat said crying into your shirt. “No one's dead bro. We got this motherfucking shit covered everything's alright. Ok?” Karkat shook his head “No...Dave, Eridan, even shitfaced Serket they’re…” He stops but you knew what he meant “Right down the motherfucking hall we can go get them if you want to risk spiderbitches morning breath. I think you had one of those horrormare terror things” The crying seemed to slow after that which made you feel a helluva lot better knowing you at least kind of helped “As soon as the sun comes up this never fucking happened” He mumbled into your shirt and you nodded “Got it” You said rubbing his head “Until then we are cuddling so don't think about getting the fuck out of it asshole” You laugh at that and pull something soft and fluffy probably a blanket but it could also be a jacket or some shit over the two of you.
Chapter 47: HAHAHAHA I'm so sorry
Truth or dare Moirail edition
Hey guys guess what's not dead! Too slow it's this terrible fic. I honestly hate my writing but I've been up all night so why the hell not.
You, The Cool Kid, chucklefuck, and karkles were hanging out in Dave's old room the one he had before he decided to move in with karkles. You like the room because Dave painted it red and you had little chalk scalemates everywhere you could reach. You would never lie that you enjoy hanging out with all three of them to an extent. The four of you together made a weird moiraikismeship dunderfuck of a reacharound though and it was kind of funny. You’re pale with dave, karkles and chucklefucker are pale for each other, cool kid and karkles are red and sometimes black-ish, you and chucklefuck are black. It just all sort of worked out in your mind that the four of you need to hang out together. Tonight though you were playing a special game of truth or dare you created. You played on teams moirail based so Gam got Karkles and you were with Dave. The goal was to try and get the other team to use all three of their “oh hell no’s” and after that the losing team had to chug two bottles of faygo without shirts on (Dave added that part cause neither of you have a sense of embarrassment.) “Yo clown fucker” Dave said snapping his fingers in Gams face “hmm?” he mumbled focusing. “Truth or Dare” “Truth” You groan and throw a marshmallow one of the many snacks everyone brought. “BOOORING” this earned you an eyeroll and the marshmallow thrown back at you “Shut the motherfuck up sis.” Dave nodded “Just for my own personal gain, Makara thoughts on rules?” Gamzee leaned back smiling “meant to be broken I guess” Karkat growled something along the lines of “he thinks that because his thinkpan is rusted far past actually functional” Before you cut him off “Rules were meant to be followed nothing's meant to be broken” “what about pinatas?” Dave asked “Or glowsticks” karkat added “Karate boards” cool kid continued “Rules” gamzee said now staring at the ceiling and wiggling his finger at it. “Karkats V card broke that shit right it half sword and everything” Dave mumbled earning a glare from the the delicious smelling mutant sitting across from him “Shut the fuck up makara I ALREADY SAID RULES WERE DEFINITELY NOT THE ANSWER” You yell specifically because you’re 98% sure his ears are super sensitive to noise for some reason and fuck him he's being a dick. “Motherfucking goddamn you are loud sis can we gag her?” he mumbled holding his ears “GAMZEE” Karkles yelled smacking the clowns shoulder. “Kinky….but nah I need her able to actually communicate for this game.” Dave said wrapping an arm around your shoulder “Team palebros may go” you say grinning. “Fucking finally assholes i'm fucking going” Karkat said frowning “Terezi truth or dare” You laughed “Like it's a question fuckass dare”
The rest of the night was a blur of truths and dares. You streaked, Dave ate a random piece of gum you guys found on the wall, Karkat even kissed gamzee but then ordered a break so he could throw up. In the end though team Fruityrumpus won and got to watch team palebros chug two bottles without shirts on, there was also catcalling from your teammate and you because why the hell not.
Chapter 48: Yep....those are our ancestors
Oh you think I forgot the ancestors were still there think again bitches
Honestly I wrote this long before the ending it's so bad
“HOLY BULGEFUCKINGSHIT YOU TWO ARE GOING TO HURT EACH OTHER STOP IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, GAMZEE I SWEAR STOP IT!” Karkat yelled at Gamzee who somehow managed to pick a strife with The Grand Highblood “Sorry bro but I think if I do that i'm gonna die. The two were pretty evenly matched despite the age and height gap. Also the fact GHB has huge fucking clubs and Gamzee has you know the gamzee size ones. GHB went for a hit and wow ok backs are not suppose to go back that much but he's a clown fucker so who gives a shit. Woah ok that one almost hit him. You weigh your options before rolling your eyes grabbing your cane and jumping on top of your kismesis cause you’re gonna help his ass but not without severely annoying him first. “AHH, you motherfucking spidermonkey get off me i'm busy.” You giggle and go back to a standing position “Yea busy getting your ass kicked gogdamn Makara you suck at this. I mean I don't want to help you but wow it's going to be boring when you’re dead” “I'm still motherfucking alive so that should say how much I don’t suck at this but you wanna help go ahead just don't get yourself motherfucking killed bulgemunch” You smirk “You either nook breath” you say before stabbing the larger makara in the arm while he took shots at the two of you like some especially annoying bugs. After you landed a slash to his face the three of you were interrupted by a loud screeching noise. “GHB ARE YOU FUCKING FIGHTING THE CHILDREN I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU I'M SO TELLING CONDY ABOUT THIS” Redglare screeched grabbing Ghb’s ear and yanking him out of the room “Ow motherfucking don't tell her she’ll so cull me” “I DON'T PARTICULARLY CARE RIGHT NOW YOU CAN’T JUST FIGHT THE CHILDREN ESPECIALLY MY DESCENDANT I LIKE HER” Your ancestor continued to chew out her matesprit even as she left the room. You look at Gamzee. “I’m calling that a win and putting it on the record as my victory since I did most of the work” Gamz rolled his eyes “yea motherfucking right hate-sis i landed most of those bitching blows my motherfucking self” “did not” “did too” “DID NOT DID NOT” “DID MOTHERFUCKING TO” Oh hell no he's not winning this argument nope. You kiss him. “WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK” you hear karkles yell which makes you grin. “GET IT ‘REZI WHOOO” Dave yells. “WHAT THE HELL” that was Serket, when did she get here? Shit. You break the kiss and skip away “I WON THAT” you yell skipping out the door and hoping for the best. Also known as your matesprit not killing you for not telling her about Gamzee.
The day Sollux got catcalled
Today was a day where Eridan and Sollux were more red than black and decided cuddling (ok we all know sollux was playing a game on his phone while Eridan did most of the cuddling) on one of the couches in the main room was perfectly fine. They were wrong. It started when Eridan's ancestor walked into the room he looked at them and started laughing hysterically. Eridan looked up and groaned “The fuck do you want dual?” Dualscar shrugged looking the two over. “Get yer friends attention fer me Eridan” Sollux put his phone down and looked up “What” he said frowning not exactly happy to be talking to the supposed massive asshole that is Dualscar Ampora. “This reelly the best ya found fer a matesprit.” He said pointing at Eridan who just tightened his grip on Sollux. “This pathetic guppy seariously, whats he gonna protect ya from a grub? Why doncha come o’er here to a reel tro-” “I would shut up if i were you” Aradia said interrupting Dualscar seemingly appearing right next to him. “Move on rustblood i'm talkin ‘ere” Aradia sighed and looked at sollux. The two nodded at each other. Sollux got up and went to the pantry pulling something out and sticking his finger in it licking it off as he walked over to Dualscar. Sollux smirked feeling his psiionics becoming more powerful he just needed to be able to keep them under control enough not to blow the entire building to shreds. Aradia went over to Eridan and grabbed his hand “let’s go” “where are we goin?” Eridan asked standing up “Out of the blast zone this is going to be so much fun to watch!” “Ok grandpa le’th get thome thit thraight here okay. One. You’re an old ath fucker who ith ugly thit. Two. Making fun of ED is my job. Three. To answer your firtht quethstion ED doethn’t have to protect me from thit and hereth why.” Sollux took his glasses off tossing them then let the psiionics do the rest. He had just enough honey for the burns to hurt for a while but not enough to kill him. It was just enough to teach him a lesson. Sollux earned applause from everyone else in the main room hanging out. Dualscar blacked out once the attack stopped falling onto the ground with a thump. Eridan ran back over to sollux asking him what in the hell was that, and why he was dumb enough to use his psii like that when he gets bad headaches whenever he uses it for more than ten minutes. Sollux didn’t hear any of this though because his ears were ringing and the room was spinning. A lot. “Falling” was all he said before collapsing into Eridans arms. “Glubbin idiot” Eridan mumbled lifting sollux up bridal style and bring him back to their room.
Chapter 49: Sollux makes bad decisions
Alternative title: Eridan's stupid and this isn't a stable relationship by any means necessary
Fuck ow, ow don't touch it it hurts. You are Eridan Ampora and you have made the mental note that touching your black eye hurts. How does one even fix a black eye cro gets them all the time but the most he does is complain and hang on his loud mouthed matesprit so that doesn't help, your matesprit can’t help you with this one. Gog you kind of miss him fuck nope, nope Eridan we are mad at Sol and we will continue to be mad at him for….until further notice. Who do you even talk to about this? Fef? Nope she's still pissed at you. Gam? Hell no where'd that thought even come from, you pretend the thought never happened. Kar? Nope he’d kill Sol with his ranting or you for pissing him off enough to where he'd actually hi-.....do that. Looks like you are in for a cold night alone.
“FUCK” you yell slamming your fist on your desk, you've been attempting to bury yourself in your coding for, two hours now and have managed to somehow write his name instead of actual code five times. You still can’t stop thinking about it. You were having one of your….episodes. Most of the shit you said was way too much even with it being fucking ED it was bad. Fuck how could you let yourself get that pissed off now he probably hates you and is going to leave you forever. Which you would never admit but, it hurt more than you ever thought it could. You’re never going to get to sleep in this heat. Maybe you could….ok only for a little but then you can come back here. You shut your computer down and leave your room to go to his. You knock on the door but he doesn't answer, probably asleep. You use your psiionics to unlock the door and walk into the room. It was dark so you just stumbled around a little until you found the bed and climbed in next to him. You must've woken him up because as soon as you pulled the blanket over you he growled, “Leave Sol” You sigh and turn to him “I'm thorry” He turns away from you. “You can punch me back in the eye” you mumble. “I'm not gonna fuckin punch you sol just go” he said now scooting further away from you. “You can have AA do it” he laughs kind of at that “I'm not telling ara, I'd prefer to keep my only quadrantmate in the land of the livin thank you very much” It makes you smile “tho you're not done with me?” He shakes his head latching onto you like usual “I have no clue yet we can deal with it tomorrow for right now just….don't leave” You think you can do that. He is your prince after all.
Chapter 50: DAVE FUCKS UP
Congtats Dave you have fucked up
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
You’re hanging out with your cool ass troll boyfriend in the living room-ish place chilling out with Makara and his cool ass boyfriend who can’t rap for shit but he’s still pretty chill besides that. Everything's nice. Karkles is arguing with Nitram over whether or not troll bambi was an amazing piece of cinema or a awesome piece of fucking cinema. You are indifferent about that one. Gamzee’s just sitting there looking at the ceiling and humming a really creepy like jack in the box type of creepy song. If it was anyone other than the murderous juggalo who eats poison pie, you would have them checked singing that creepy shit. But you don’t give a fuck about that, you are on the record of not giving a fuck about that. Anyway your chill ass is going to get some nectar of the fucking apple gods from the kitchen. “Why do you even wear those dumbass glasses anyway?” Oh great a wild bitch has been spotted doing her seemingly favorite pastime when Tez is busy...harassing random bystanders. “Because they’re cool as shit.” You say back still like two steps away from the couches you were hanging out on and like far as shit away from the apple juice. “Take them off” Vriska said frowning squinting her eyes at you. “Sorry darlin’ but you couldn’t handle my eyes. Now step back you're in the way of my apple juice retrieval” you say going to walk around the bitch when she whips around and grabs your shades right off your face. Instinct takes over and you’re pretty sure you nailed her pretty hard in the nose by how she’s holding it now. You looked back at karkat hoping he didn’t just see that but when you look all you see is a pissed off Makara with his clubs out standing in front of him. “Strider you best motherfucking take two steps back and take them real motherfucking quick like.” He growls out and fuck it's so bright in here goddamnit. Fuck Serket still has your shades. You run to you room and grab some spares before turning the lights out and laying down looking at nothing. You seriously fucked up.
You lay there in the dark staring off into space for a while. A long while just thinking about everything. Eventually you hear the door open and then someone's lying next to you holding onto you like your the only thing keeping them from floating away. “You shouldn't be here Vantas. I fucked up. I fucked up bad.” You say still staring off into space not moving “shut the fuck up and get out of you self induced pity coma before I personally punch you in the face for thinking whatever the hell you've been thinking for the past four goddamn hours. Serket deserved that shit whether you meant to do it or not.” He said holding onto you tighter which you didn't believe possible until now “Yea she deserved it but I didn't mean to that could've been anyone and I'm so fucked in the brain i can't even stop it. That could've been fucking you out there and it wouldn't have stopped me.” God you're starting to get a headache again fuck. “I'd like to see you fucking try to punch me in the face nookbreath not like you'd do it anyway.” You laugh slightly at that and he smiles kissing your cheek “pity you asshole” he grumbles trying not to smile but it just makes him look like a constipated racoon which makes you laugh more. “Love you too karkles. Hey, how'd you call off guard dog chucklefuck anyway he seemed pretty adamant about me stayin far the fuck away” karkat shrugged “fed him a bunch of pie told him you were a magical wizard or some shit then waited for him to pass out” You smile kissing the most amazing boyfriend in the history of paradox space “Makes sense”
I dont even read through these before posting anymore. I probably should
Chapter 51: Fun? We don't have fun
You haven't had this much fun in forever. You doubt that you've ever had this much fun. You probably only think that though because you are currently winning. Apparently you are a lot faster than ED. At this point in time you're playing tag. It started pretty innocent with the two of you getting bored out of your mines and poking each other saying “tag” without actually moving. Until you poked the gills and ran like hell. Which is why you are currently winning. “Come and get me prince” you say laughing running backwards just out of your quadrantmates reach before he catches up enough to try and whack your horns but you ducked because you have fucking ninja reflexes. “Haha fuckthtick my horns are less grabbable then yours” you say before running off into the main room and grabbing AA holding her in front of you like a shield “No fair sol she’ll kill me if I miss and get her” Eridan whined after he finally caught up “I'm out” Aradia said walking away “TRAITOR” you yell running into the kitchen area almost running into Rose who gave you a death glare. ED ran after you out of breath. “ah ah you two are in a crowded public area either take it outside or solve whatever you two are fighting about this time” Kanaya said pulling the lusus tone on the two of you. To your amusement it stops your opponent in his tracks as he looks at her “Thorry KN I'm so not losing to ED” You say running out of the kitchen and directly into AA. You are a dead man. “SOLLUXANDER CAPTOR” She yelled standing up grabbing your shirt and a stool and walking you over to a corner before you could even question how the fuck she found out your whole name. “Are you seriously putting him in timeout Aradia?” Rose asked smirking you can hear the fucking smug in her voice. “It's what Kurloz does with Tuna so why the hell not?” AA says frowning setting the stool down and forcing you into it “two minutes no one talk to him” So for those two minutes you sat there and threw a temper tantrum with your psiionics. Which for you meant turning the tv on and off, made nepeta color inside the lines, knocked over a glass of water, and stomped. That last one didn't include psiionics but you still did a lot of it. Eridan got yelled at for tag which means you had to stop. Which means you are the fucking winner and that's all that matters.
Chapter 52: Day in the life of Dirk
Featuring a morning In the life of Dave
“Morning love.” You hear your boyfriend say waking you up making you groan loudly in protest. You are the best motherfucking ninja Strider and should be addressed as such. Should. Hasn’t happened yet though. “English, you know not to wake me up before noon unless you have brought something akin to the goddamn holy grail.” You mumble into your pillow very disappointed with your being in a conscious state this early in the morning. “I bloody know about your ridiculous sleep habits, but I overheard Dave whining about how you beat him in a strife yesterday and I got you something to celebrate.” Well now he has your attention. You turn around and wipe your eyes looking at your gift. “I fucking love you more than anything in the entire universe ever.” You say grabbing the tray of food from your boyfriend and chowing the fuck down on the amazing food you know he didnt make but your going to pretend he did. “I love you too Strider and you get cuddles with your breakfast.” he says and you smile “Amazing, just don't touch my french toast or i'm going to have to decapitate you.” Jake kisses your forehead nodding before wrapping his arms around you. Today was going to be a good day.
“Hey Dirk?" you say wrapping your arms around your wonderful boyfriend who decided to just stand there staring off into space. “What are you doing?” Dirk shrugged frowning “arguing with AR he's being a little shit” oh so that's what he's been doing for the last ten minutes at least it wasn't anything concerning. Well not concerning for Dirk, staring off into space for ten minutes talking with a pair of sunglasses could be considered concerning but you put that thought away for now. “What are you two arguing about now?” You ask grabbing Dirks shades and holding them up to your face “wait jake I would-” “AHHHHH WHY IS GAHH! THAT WAS LEWD! THAT WAS LEWD AND INAPPROPRIATE! DIIIRKKK!” It was in that moment you learned never to put Dirks shades on when AR was on, bloody hell that system was immature. “Ok so admittedly I shouldn't have continued the argument but I so won that.” Dirk says taking the shades back from you “I understand why you didn't give him another body that was...wow ok. Can we watch a movie now?” Dirk nods and the two of you go to your bed to watch….Ponyo. “I will never understand your love for these anime movies.” You say smiling cuddling Dirk. “They're fucking amazing thank you very much” Your boyfriend says and you kiss his cheek because he's just too damn cute. He's all happy watching the movie and deserves all the kisses. “I love you” you say kissing his forehead. “I love you too English now shh and let me watch the movie” HE SAID THE THING AGAIN! You smile a huge smile and kiss him quickly before moving closer to him and moving your attention back to the movie
“Mornin’ babe” Dave said kissing karkat smiling “fuck off sleeping” Karkat mumbled back pulling the blanket over his head. “Haha nope time to wake up” Dave said pulling the blanket away and deciding to kiss his boyfriend all over his face grinning. “ARE YOU TWO FUCKING? I'M NOT LEAVING IF YOU ARE BUT WARN THE BLIND GIRL” Terezi yelled walking into the room frowning. “Nah just trying to wake Kitkat up” Dave said casually. “PYROPE HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THE CODE TO OUR ROOM I LOCKED IT” Karkat yelled attempting to shove Dave off. Dave took this as cue to drop all his weight and lay on top of of him. “I gave it to her in case of emergency. Whatcha need tez?” Terezi walked into the closet and pulled one of Daves shirts down, she then sat on the closet floor throwing the shirt over her head to cover her face. “I'm playing hide and seek with nepeta and needed a hiding place.” “cool” Dave said scooting up to kiss Karkat. “Dave how am I supposed to get dressed with pyrope right fucking there?” Karkat whispered frowning. “Just walk up and grab your clothes shes not interested in anything you’ve got going on. If you’re gonna be a sissy about it ill grab them.” Dave said getting up and going over to his closet. “Are we not wearing clothes today? AWESOME!” Terezi yelled grinning “PYROPE KEEP YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES ON I'M SERIOUS” Dave laughed grabbing their clothes and walking back to the bed. Today was going to be a good day.