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Kindness In Hell

Chapter Text

“so did this century guy do anything to ya? ya know, besides splitting your soul?” Sans asked.

“No, the last thing he did was send the Patience one home, the Determination one to kick Error’s butt and I think he took the Justice one with him.” I said.

“… you’re still you?” he asked again.   

“I told you. I still have all of my memories, so yes.”

“what was the last card we used?” he growled.

“You were my personal slave. Error ruined it, but I wasn’t a very good master anyway.” I whispered.

He looked surprised at that admission, but continued with questioning about the cards we had basically discarded for the two weeks I had been in heat.

“the card before that?” he asked, less intimidating.

“You fucked me with tentacles. I really liked that and you spared me.” I whispered again.

He shivered. He knew now I wasn’t lying. At that time he didn’t spare just anybody. Then, he was corrupted. Now, the only monsters who weren’t corrupted down here were Gaster and him.

“alright, alright. you’re you. little clingy, but you.” he grumbled.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to be!” I unlatched from his side.

“no, no, pay, it’s fine. ya look drained. i wouldn’t be using magic if i were you. round here, once you reach your limit, you’re easy pickin’ and ya can’t go all out in case another monster goes after ya.” He was being gentler, as if I could fall apart at any moment.

“Results, Sans?” Gaster asked suspiciously. He wasn’t quite sure about me once we left the room made in the Void and he wasn’t allowed in that conversation.

“yeah, it’s her. or a piece of her anyway.”

They had already looked at my soul. It looked deformed and Gaster already wanted to monitor it, which Sans readily agreed to because he was curious too.

“i dunno how she’s being held together. her magic’s weak, but i think with time…”

“You mean bonding. Do not harm her Sans. I’m warning you.” Gaster growled.

I was surprised. Maybe Gaster liked me too? Maybe that was why he had gotten so angry I had bonded with Sans?

“relax doc. that’s the last thing i could do. i’m not corrupted anymore. if anything, i don’t wanna let her go anywhere, but that wouldn’t be the point of what we’re doin’ here. if anything, this is exactly what we need an’ she knows it.”

“I’m still here.” I said shyly. “It was agreed this world needed a healing hand and even though I was a product of an accident… I know I’m meant to be here.” I told them.

“wait what? this whole thing was an accident?” Sans questioned. I knew that look. That was the ‘I’m gonna kill this guy if I ever see him’ look.  

“No, it wasn’t! I agreed to splitting my soul! The original plan was for the Determination one and the Justice one to take form, but I did too. I could feel all seven cores of me separate from the Patience one. I was the accident. Just me. I-I think it was because I have feelings for you, to help you like I know how it should be done. I want to teach you to be gentle when you need it and avoid fights from happening. You’re already doing it now.” I said softly, feeling him relax again.

“You won’t ever have to worry about me leaving for another universe or getting taken. No more running. No more tears. I did this for you, for what you need. You know and I want to help. You saw me. You knew I needed to go home and I did. I promised I wouldn’t leave you alone.”

“i-i know. your soul changes, looks weird and ya change clothes. if that ain’t alarmin’, i dunno what is, but it just sounds too good ta be true. you were talkin’ about taking me with you, then this happens.” He sighed.

“It was a take it or leave it deal.” I told him. “Kinda like when we first met. You were coming down, I was going up. You had some thought put into the deals and promises we’ve made to each other, but it started sudden. I want you to be happy.”

“heh, heh, heh. with you sweetheart, i’m pretty sure i am. a lot more. we just gotta be more careful now. yer fragile. i want ya ta stay home while i work. ‘fore we start tryin’ ta do anything. i need ya ta rest an’ eat an’ build up your magic, ya hear? don’t even bother with papyrus.” He turned to Gaster. “that means don’t bother her, gaster, unless it’s a question.” He growled.

Gaster had been watching our exchange quietly after Sans had told him he wasn’t corrupted, calculating his responses.

“I think that is wise, Sans. I am going through changes myself and they are not all cosmetic.” He frowned and touched his face where it had cracked. “I will see the both of you in my lab when we have all recovered from this. I may need healing. I can feel traces of corruption.” And with that, he disappeared around the corner.

I poked my head around to see if he was completely gone and if he could teleport out of curiosity.

“pay?” Sans looked confused.

“Just seeing if he was gone-gone.” I told him, finding no trace of Gaster.

“yeah. the guy taught me how to control my teleporting. never liked it much until now. it only got me out of jams there was no other way out of. last resort sorta thing.” he told me.

“I’m not suited much for cold weather. Can you-?” I said, looking at my short sleeves and skirt.

“already on it, sweetheart.” It only took a moment to make it back to his house.

“It’s weird seeing Gaster out of the Core. He seems like the kind of guy who has everything there and doesn’t need anything else.” I commented. Sans paused.

“ya know, now that i think about it, since everyone’s corrupted and obsessed with LV, and me being different about it, maybe i’ve been the nicest monster ta gaster and i sucked at it. i think i’m gonna try it your way, seein’ he was the nicest guy to me. might not have survived as long as i have if he didn’t teach me a few things. siddown… i’m gonna go try and… fight for some food.” Sans said nervously.

“You’re not really going to fight, are you?” I asked.

“nah, i usually just take it when no one’s lookin’. it’s safer that way.” Sans suddenly bristled and I saw a tail around his legs.

“What’s wrong? He just wants to say hi!” I laughed at the cat I had found for Papyrus. He mewed and continued purring and circling Sans’s legs. Suddenly he darted off.

“do i have to feed that thing?” Sans grumbled.

“Nope, he just caught his dinner.” I laughed.  

Even though the house was warm and relatively ‘safe,’ it must have been insulated by some sort of magic, because small animals had found their way in on the lower level, more often than not.

“well good, ‘cause i’m not getting food for it.”

I rolled my eyes. Still had to put on the act. I guess he was used to it, but he would have at least tried if the cat needed food while no one was looking.

“hey, if pap comes home, then go upstairs. he’s kinda scared a you, so i dunno what he’ll do with you alone and, uh, i kinda made it clear you’re mine, but killing is not above him still.” he said nervously, sweat dripping down his skull.

“Don’t worry, the only killing here is going to be with Kindness.” I assured him crossing my arms.

He turned to leave, but I stopped him.

“Hey, one more thing you forgot.” I said.

“what’d i forget?”

I unfolded my arms and grabbed his neck pulling him down.

“Gimmie a kiss, big guy.” I laughed.

He chuckled deeply, then stopped, staring at me.

“you’re, uh, not gonna let go until i do, huh?” he asked.

“What, is there a problem?”

“still stubborn, huh? i wonder if you still have determination.”

He scooped me up with a surprised yelp and opened his mouth, feigning a bite, then giving me a tongue twisting kiss as he succeeded in over-running my mouth. He pulled away and sighed.

“I love you. Good luck.” I said softly

He set me down on the couch, muttered something I didn’t quite catch and disappeared fast, his face pouring off heat and red as a tomato.

“Ya think he’s warming up to me, buddy?” I asked the cat as he jumped on the couch and rubbed up against me. “I am a little different from what I was.” I giggled.

Sans was cute when he was flustered like that. It looked like he didn’t know what to do when I came onto him or flirted. I’d have to tease him later and see how long he could hold out against my advances. He had thrown up another wall to see if it was really me and I was already more than halfway up it. Killing with Kindness was going to be fun in some aspects and others… I just had to make sure I wasn’t dusted.


“Don’t worry, bud. I’m sure he’s warming up to you when no one’s around. It’s just what he’s used to.”



damn it, why was she even more of a flirt? i really needed to learn how not to freeze. i knew plenty of comebacks… they just flew out of my thick headed skull the moment she said something back! well technically, she just said i love you, but the  way she said it was full of meaning. shit! why was i thinking about this now? i needed to get some food.

i couldn’t go back to grillby’s. the guy would charcoal me if i didn’t have the gold to pay my tab… or worse. i shuttered at the thought. the trash bin was relatively clean from pickings by other monsters, but i didn’t feel like getting into a fight or explaining where i had gotten my food. gaster was the only monster who willingly gave me food because he had one of the food machines powered by the core. all the rest were scattered across the underground, taken over by businesses.

there was one more place i could go… the shop. while i knew i couldn’t rack up a tab there, the food they sold was in reach and i only took something if i really needed it. whether i was buying something, just looking or actually stealing, i made sure to always displace out of the store so they couldn’t tell the difference. i really didn’t want that shop lady to catch me. i’d already seen what she would do to thieves and even if i got away, she would catch up to me somehow. i tried to steal few and far between and always just a single cinnamon bun. usually it would hold me over if i needed it, when my stash of food was either discovered or low.

i flashed a nervous smile. nothing new here. i just had to wait for her sister to check up on her and a fight would break out. i was nothing threatening to her or really anyone, so she didn’t keep a watchful eye on her treats like with other monsters. i watched out of the corner of my eye, as i admired another jacket similar to the one i had, but shiny and new with red at the sleeves and bottom. i had my eye on it for a long time and she knew it, patiently waiting for me to have the drive to save up money to get it one day.

it turned out i didn’t need to wait for the innkeeper, because undyne came in and she was rowdy today.

“HEY! RETAIL SLAVE! Got any new tanks?” she burst in shouting and i ducked behind another clothing rack.

 “No. Thanks for scaring one of my REAL customers off.” she sneered.

“Yeah, punk? Ya know what happens when we stop working, right?” undyne talked back, implying the shop could be raided. the shopkeeper should have kept her mouth shut, but she didn’t. she never could.

“I don’t carry anything you want! Now get the fuck out of my store or do have to get my family in here?” she threatened back.

undyne was just looking for a fight today. it wouldn’t be the first time she went here either and since she actually paid for most of the things she got, she was allowed back, but today she didn’t want anything they sold. the innkeeper came in arguing, evidently hearing the noise and i heard a few crashes while the women were occupied with fighting. they didn’t notice i hadn’t left. maybe, since the shelf with the buns was now leaning they would think one of them rolled into a crack in the building. that wouldn’t be the first time either. i quickly swiped one, waited for any immediate response and when i heard nothing towards me, i displaced.

i let out a sigh of relief. patience could eat tonight. tomorrow on my break, i would visit gaster to get more food to store away. hopefully, if papyrus was feeling generous again about using his food, she could make breakfast for him. he did seem to enjoy her cooking and i wasn’t sure how she convinced him she would cook if we got a share.

fuck! what was she going to do when i got back? i hoped she wouldn’t try flirting with me again. there was no way out unless i was hilt-deep in her and i wanted that, but her body and soul were not in the greatest shape. i could tell if she didn’t get some sort of magic she would be too weak for anything.

when i opened the door, she wasn’t on the couch. was papyrus home? one look up the stairs told me he wasn’t. not wanting to abandon any food with threat of him coming home and snapping it up, i took it with me into my room.

“pay? sweetheart, ya up?”

she sat up and blinked.

“Yeah…” she said. she was tired, but it looked like she couldn’t sleep.

“pap’ll be home soon. here, i gotcha somethin’. ya better eat it before he finds it.”

“Sweet. I’d say something about you having hot buns, but no butt.” she laughed and nibbled on the cinnamon bun.

nope. i couldn’t handle it. not only was she adorable, but i wanted her already. the flirting made me cringe, but i allowed it.

“Hey, do you want some?” she asked holding out the half she didn’t eat.

“nah. i’ll eat tomorrow when i get some food. i’m kinda used to it.” i told her nervously and she frowned.

“At least take a bite, you used a lot of magic today.” she said, pulling off a small piece and shoving it at my mouth. i grumbled. she was the one supposed to be recovering, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

when she was finished, she looked a lot better, even her soul was a little brighter and i climbed into bed with her, wrapping my arms around her. i could feel that steady heartbeat and i wondered with kind of magic it was pumping. it made my eyes droop since i wasn’t doing anything. she was breathing easy, so calming… i didn’t deserve a goodnight’s sleep. i should be worried about her. i should be trying to figure out if she was damaged.


“yeah?” i asked sleepily.

“Thanks. I’m sorry if I’m a bit of a burden.”

“nah. you’re worth it. ya healed me, now i’m gonna heal you.” i told her. i had no idea how i was going to do this, but i had the determination to figure it out.

“Mmm… I love you.” she snuggled closer. “No matter what happens, ok?”

what was that supposed to mean? but i was too sleepy to question.

“ok. love ya too.” i said quietly.          

Chapter Text

Sans stirred behind me, holding me tightly like he did every morning. He shifted himself closer, closing the loose space between us, making his morning wood obviously evident. Frustratingly, he wouldn’t let me help him out recently. I even found him masturbating at a sentry station, murmuring my name once! He wasn’t going to let me get up until he heard the cat loudly mew for Papyrus to wake up and play with him.

We had settled in a routine. Every morning was a guaranteed meal if I made it for Papyrus. He wouldn’t care if I shared what he couldn’t eat. I was on my own for lunch unless I saved some breakfast for it. Once in a while, I shelled out the gold I found on the ground to get lunch for me and Sans(which is how I found him masturbating). Dinner was anything Papyrus cooked, which was mostly spaghetti and surprisingly good. He loved it when I constantly praised him throughout the meal. Every so often I would throw in something to make it better while he wasn’t looking, my Patience magic sparking easily when I talked to him. And now Sans would refuse anything but cuddling and nuzzling with the occasional toothy kiss, taking care not to cut me to ribbons.

“Saaannnss…” I whined a bit and his arms tightened further. I wiggled a little bit.

“sweetheart, don’t do that…” he moaned sleepily.

“But I wanna… I want you…”

“pay…” he thrust his hips into my butt. “i wan’ you to…”

“Let me-” For some reason, he put his fingers in my mouth.

“fuckin’ taste ‘em.” he growled.

He was still completely asleep. Oh, he’s not gonna live this down. I would make sure. I sucked at his fingers. Still tasted like mustard, but whatever.

“Shansh, honey, your shhorts are shtill on.” I complained when he kept dry humping me and he whimpered as if just realizing that.

“shuddup…” he murmured sleepily and he withdrew his fingers. I opened my mouth again, only for a magic tendril to shove itself into my mouth. Mmm… sweet… Wait. Sweet? Oh no. Now I knew why he was avoiding my advances. Not a chance, buddy, my vagina was intact!

It was a good thing I was only wearing a skirt and it had hiked up during the night, because he pretty much ripped his shorts off when they wouldn’t give. His growls turned to purrs as he shredded the restricting fabric in between us and the tendril stifled any giggles I had at that wonderful sound. I could already feel my soul aching to get out as he pulled at it with more tendrils. Finally, I could feel them rising from in between us. My moans were muffled again as I closed my eyes to take in the full heated love. Sweet baby of christ, it had been a long time and it felt good to be bonded again!

“… i wan’ ta…” he snored. “…fuckin’ breed ya…”

I whimpered as his hot member prodded against me.

“…make ya…” The mumble was lost on me as I opened my eyes. Blinding white light greeted me. What was that?! Sheer panic started flowing through my veins like ice.

“Sms! Mmph! SMS!” I tried to wake up Sans and struggle. He froze.

“what the ever living fuck did i wake up to?” he said quietly. He wasn’t panicking like I was, but he sounded… afraid. “that wasn’t a dream, was it?” he asked, removing the tendril from my mouth.


“shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!” he shifted, allowing me to turn over to see his face.

A worried look plastered it as he tried to think.

“What is it?” I asked.

that.” he pointed to our souls. “is a vessel being formed. you weren’t ready for this, you’re still warped!” Then another look of longing went over his face as his eyes flicked from our souls to my face. “i ain’t gonna let this happen.” Sans reached for our souls and they followed to his hand. “swallow it, pay.”

“What?” I asked in disbelief. I was already stunned. A vessel? For what exactly?

“this is my fault, you ain’t carrying this kid!”

I furrowed my brow immediately. You had another thing coming bone boy.


I crossed my arms, not saying a word as we walked, Sans following dejectedly behind me. He had tried to get me to talk nervously, but failed. There was an occasional whine coming from him, as he wrung his hands anxiously.

“pay… sweetheart…” he reached out to me again, but was blocked by green protective shielding.

He didn’t even protest at me using magic. Good. He was scared. What was I thinking? I was scared. What did he do!?

“pay, stop.” I sighed and stopped in front of the lab entrance.

“What? What do you want me to say? That I’m too weak for this sort of thing? I’m NOT!” I shouted as he flinched from every question, trying to hide in his thick sweater.

“…no… just, here.” Red dusted his cheeks again as he handed me his worn jacket and looked away. “in case we run into alphys… i don’ want you to get hurt, iz all.”

Right. That jacket disappeared along with Cyan me and she could identify me as human. I still had the cards and a couple gold coins, but that was it. I took his jacket, nestling in the dark recesses of his hood, the soft fur covering and tickling my face. Ok, maybe that calmed me down a bit, even if it was blistering hot out here. I grumbled a thank you and he took my hand, leading me through the maze of the laboratory.  We found Gaster sitting at his desk, completely enthralled in what looked like data and notes. Sans made a sound like he was clearing his throat and he looked up, surprised to see us. I hadn’t seen him since the day my soul split, but his looked a bit better. A little duller, but not like when it had first merged with his Void counterpart.

“My dear, I haven’t seen you in months! This had better be important if you’re here. Has she healed enough, Sans?” He asked.

“n-not exactly.” Sans started nervously.

“Then what is the matter?”

“you were workin’ ona machine ta see souls better, right?” Sans asked, timidly.

“Yes?” Gaster answered, confused.

“ya might wanna see this. i-i can’t… show ya.” He started to sweat.

This had Gaster intrigued and he pushed his chair into his desk and we followed. He was about to attach electrodes to Sans, when he waved them off.

“no, her. i know ya saw her soul, but, uh, now ya need ta look again.”    

“Alright. I would have tested both of you either way.” He sighed and started applying electrodes to my neck, forehead, chest and abdomen. “Stand behind the screen, Patience.” He directed.

It had been lowered to a proportionate height for me and I could look down at it if I wanted. I don’t know how he did it, but the thin screen lit up with a warped green heart, almost back to normal, but not quite. That wasn’t what Sans meant though. Their eyes had shifted to the tiny, perfect, little inverted heart that seemed to thrum with energy. Periodically, it would switch from blinding white to a light shade of pink, as if it were breathing. I gasped. How could I have been so blind? Gaster stumbled back, surprised and excused himself from the room for a moment.

“pay… i’m sorry fer all this. i was tryin’ ta tell ya how it worked with boss monsters.” he lifted his sweater to show holes in his ribcage, here and there.

“Are you alright?” I asked, suddenly concerned for him.

“yeah, it’ll come back. boss monsters need a little extra ta get going or they’ll probably die before they even get to the right spot.” He explained.

“So that’s why you…”

“yeah.” He confirmed.

“Then why did you want me to swallow it?” I asked.

“it was my fault. my thoughts wander and… i happened to be dreaming i wanted a kid with ya. it’s been going on for a while and that’s why… i didn’t wanna bond for about a month. it woulda been almost suicide otherwise, ‘cause you accepted it, i knew ya would. i’ve been such a nervous wreak with heat an’ all just startin’… i thought i should carry the kid, ‘cause i can. wouldn’t be that hard and you wouldn’t have as many holes as me. i’m the one giving the extra magic and i love ya.” he explained, while coming closer to hold my face gently, looking at me pleadingly.

We were alerted of Gaster’s presence when a clipboard clattered to the ground and he just stared at the little soul inside me. It had turned a deep shade of pink in response to Sans’s voice and my calming demeanor.

“Sans, can you move away, just a little?” Gaster asked. We looked at each other, then him, wondering why he wanted that. Sans complied and they watched the screen. “Sans, you’ve observed some pregnancies before. Is this normal?”

“not the pink, but as far as i can tell, it’s normal right now for bein’ so new. they’re gonna be a powerful boss monster. that’s the biggest i’ve ever seen any soul this new. heh.” he said proudly.

“I was thinking the same thing.” Gaster said, thoughtfully. “It seems at peace with itself and the magic you two are feeding it. Feel free to come back at anytime to get food or if you think something is the wrong. Patience, would you like any books on souls and pregnancies to see what you may encounter?” he asked.

“That might be a big help actually, thank you.” I nodded.

“Sans, I need to look at your soul as well.” Gaster had turned to him and he sighed as if this was the normal procedure now. “How is your brother? You seem to think he is getting better, is he?” A few of Gaster’s disembodied hands nudged at me, with the books in hand.

“boss is, uh, not as touchy anymore. we’re startin’ ta see the corruption leave. i dunno if it’s the cat or just pay talkin’, but it’s working slowly, but surely.” Sans replied.

“Good, good.” Gaster frowned. “I may have to ask you to call him in here to observe his soul when you are sure he will not destroy my laboratory.”

“he isn’t ready. ya done yet? i wanna go home ‘fore i need relief. the kid’ll need more magic too. didn’t get to give much.” Sans was still sweating.

His soul was pulsing, visibly growing as if it were beating. Poor Sans, he had held back only thrusting once or twice into me while I fought him after he swallowed our child’s soul. Now I understood why. He didn’t want to leave the vessel to break before it had a chance. He couldn’t carry it after he swallowed it, but I could.

“All seems normal with you, as usual.” Gaster motioned to Sans he was done and he peeled the electrodes off his bones. “Patience, I would like to monitor the child’s progress. You may have a magical body, but your soul is still human. Already we know it will be identified as monster, but nothing more.” Gaster gave me an odd look that hardened. “Take your leave. I do not wish to witness what happens on his heat cycle.” Sans chuckled deeply.

“let’s go, sweetheart. we got some bonding to do so we can feed this kid. i think they’re hungry.” Sans had gone up behind me and started rubbing my abdomen, nuzzling his face into my neck.



“So, it says here, that boss monsters take longer to develop than the regular, run-of-the-mill monster. How long is that?” pay asked, already hitting the books.

gaster had lent her his hand written studies, not that it mattered much. she could read them.

“a month including heat, maybe two. boss monsters though, are about six. they need time ta cook and develop, ‘cause a how much magic they need. that means ya gotta make good on yer promise to me so i can give ya extra magic. i could lose you and the kid. ‘ee’s just gonna be a vacuum right now and you’re magic too.” i glanced at her face and she had paled.

“That’s why monster children are dangerous?” she asked.

“yep. shouldn’t be a problem, even when i’m done with heat, ‘cause boss monsters make boss monsters, otherwise either parent wouldn’t survive. they’d give up everything to feed a little monster like this and ‘round here, that ain’t an option.” pay relaxed.

“What do you want it to be?” she asked, her eyes sparkling.

“i dunno. i already raised one kid and look how great that turned out.” i grumbled.

“Hey, you have me this time and no corruption. You’re going to be an awesome Dad.” she tried to reassure me.

it finally rung through me again. another mouth to feed, meant keeping my paycheck from papyrus, paying off my tab if i ever wanted to not get hurt directly or indirectly and cleaning out the third room in the house where we piled all of our junk. maybe i could put some of it in my workshop, some of it was useful once… maybe it could be again.

i stared at the little soul we made. it already accepted us, it already loved us and it reacted to pay’s emotions and my voice.

“pay, i’m gonna do ya right… i promise.” i watched as not only her soul fluttered, but the little one too, turning a deep shade of pink again. it looked so happy.

Chapter Text

I took a deep breath before I entered. Sans was already over working himself with five jobs. I needed at least one, but if I could, I would get two more. The shop keeper already agreed, now to ask Grillby if I could work nights when he was busiest. It would be risky because I was a pretty face around town and some monsters already requested my services only to get thrown back. No didn’t always mean no. It meant you’re doing it if you’re weaker whether you like it or not. Of course, my features and small stature betrayed my strength. This would have to change and the best way would be at least visiting the bar.

“Grillby.” I sat in what would be Sans’s seat, checking for whoopee cushions. The flamed bartender turned his searing purple eyes at me. He set down his glass and started filling it, sending it over. “No.” I told him. “I don’t need a drink. I want a job.”

“…?” his flames crackled loudly.

“Yeah? And so what if I am Sans’s girl?” I asked back. “I’m not Sans.” He scoffed in distaste.

“…?” He looked at me questioningly.  Another fight broke out between two of the sentries who had come in.

“Well, for one, I can do this.” Without looking I sent a shield between the sentries, separating them, then grabbed a hold of them and threw them out of the bar. “Less damages and you get a worker.” He raised an eyebrow, his bright purple light casting a long shadow on me. He was interested.

“…?” he shrugged and held my face.

“No! I’m not like that! When we pay off that tab, it’s going to be in gold!” I narrowed my eyes.

“…you’re hired.” He said louder. “…wear something nice to entertain… I dislike distracted employees. I like distracted customers…”

“Yes, sir.” I told him. That explained why his nice button down shirt was halfway open and his vest wasn’t buttoned at all.

“…I would still be interested in interest.

“No.” I said firmly.


“Ha! Don’t you know that’s a myth?” I asked when he told me word on the street, Sans was bonded. To the tall, flaming boss monster, that meant a weakness he could exploit. He smiled and I couldn’t tell if he believed me or not.


“I’ll be here. I won’t stiff you.” I told him. “And no alcohol for me. I don’t need it.” I winked as he looked at my drink he had served almost automatically. “I’ll tell ya when Gaster calls, I’m kinda his new assistant too.” I said as he gave me his cell number.


“I’ll tell him, but I don’t think he’s interested.” I said back as he asked about other ways for Sans to pay off his debt. “How much is it?”

“…you ask him.” Grillby narrowed his eyes.

“Fine. Don’t you dare cut my paycheck. You’ll get what’s coming if you don’t. Otherwise…”

“…you’ll take what I give.” Grilllby’s fire brightened.

“No, you’ll give me a full paycheck. Or my services are not needed. Understand?” I smiled pleasantly, challenging him and he nodded slowly.  “Thanks for your time, Grillby.” I told him, skipping out. The phone Sans gave me rang.

“Hey, bone boy, what’s up?” I asked Sans.

“i’m on break. ya wanna feed the kid?” he asked.

“I guess, but-”

“where are ya?”

“In front of Grillby’s-” Arms circled me and dragged me into the Void. “Sans!” I yelled at him when we reappeared at his post in Waterfall. I felt my abdomen flutter.

“kid’s excited. i’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout ya the whole day, sweetheart. what cha been up to?” he asked.

“Oh, you know, just getting a few more jobs for some extra gold. It’s hard saving up. I’d say we should get a swear jar, but you’d be the one to fill it instead of Papyrus.” I chuckled.

“might be something fer later, when the kid’s actually running around.” Sans chuckled, running his hands down my hips and pulling me closer. Grabby. Must really want to give magic today, although I couldn’t say I blamed him. He got nervous if it wasn’t more than twice a day and constantly made sure my limbs weren’t disintegrating, but bonding out in the open was a problem for us… usually. Monsters were nosy when they saw something they didn’t understand.

“Right… here?” I grunted as he bent me over his station.

“mmm hmm. thought we should change it up. it ain’t the first time a sentry screwed a girl over a station, so nothin’ new there.” He hummed.

“But it someone finds us-”

“it’s none of their damn business.” He purred in my ear and I shivered. I did not want a repeat of what happened when I was in heat. Under any normal circumstances I didn’t want anyone to watch us, but before heat and during seemed to intensify my need for Sans, no matter how I could get him, I would. The smug little bastard didn’t seem to care at all if anyone found us, but bonding, he still hesitated and I knew why.

“But our bonds-”

“i got ya covered, pay.” he whispered in my ear again. “but first, i want ya soaking wet.” He said slowly and sensually, making me shiver again as he laughed at my reaction. “how is that just my voice turns ya on, mmm?” he asked right away.

“Maybe, it’s because I don’t always know what you have in mind. Even with the cards, you throw me for a loop sometimes.” My giggle turned into a soft pleased sound as his arms came around to the front of my body, tracing lightly up my sides until they reached my chest. I still didn’t have the luxury of a bra, because I knew what he would do to my only one and I tried to stall the inevitable so I could at least wear it at work, but until the shopkeeper started helping me out with that, he wasn’t allowed near it.  He pawed at the mounds of soft flesh, ever intrigued by them. His tongue slowly dragged across my neck, his teeth scraping right after.

“oh, sweetheart, those sounds ya make…” Sans laughed chillingly and I bristled in pleasure, feeling the little soul vibrate from it’s father’s low voice. He bucked, giving me a little friction, but not enough.

“Sans!” I whined and he laughed again.

“shhh…” he hissed between his teeth, his beady eyes watching someone pass by as he paused, daring them to say anything as I panted under him. They gave us a glance and decided to keep moving, while Sans continued to growl, his eyes glinting in red. I wiggled, trying to push into him shamelessly and get some relief when I could see their back. “you want it that badly, beg for it.” he whispered dangerously and paused to bite my ear.


“beg.” He growled back, starting to drool on me as he continued to hump me. His fingers were going to leave bruises in my hips. I bit my lip, trying to muffle myself. “aw, you’re cute when ya try not ta beg. who do ya think will break first?” My breath hitched at this realization, knowing we both had once been made of Patience and now, he was Determined to hear it. His hands raked down my body again and I knew he could just as easily tear me apart, but they settled on my abdomen, cradling it, while still drooling. “don’t disappoint the little one. they’re hungry.”

“Then don’t disappoint.” I told Sans confidently and he shivered. I felt the shift and created a tendril from my hand that wrapped around his collar, yanked at him against me and I felt him heat up.

“do ya want it?” he asked. He still wanted me to say something.

“Yes, oh god, yes, I want it, I want you, please, help me feed our child… do you want me to pull on you?”

“oh, fuck yes, i’m fucking yours.” He breathed.

“You forgot something.” I said gleefully.

“what?” he growled as he tried not to sherd either of our shorts since I was wearing a pair of his I sewed to fit me. If he had the luxury, he would, but he thought better this time before I limited him again.

“I’m yours too.” I reached behind me with my other hand and cupped his cheek, before yanking him again and he grunted, bumping into me again. He growled and repositioned himself. I pulled at his collar again, causing him to jerk forward again, entering suddenly, his low snarls turning thrilled. The full weight of his upper body pressed into my back and I felt our bonds meet, completely hidden by Sans literally covering me.

“shit, pay, you’re already gettin’ tight! pull me again!” he groaned. I huffed, almost completely forgetting that he wanted to be pulled.

“Mmm-more…” I moaned out and he yanked my hair, pulling my head back.

“you havin’ fun, sweetheart? me breedin’ ya like some feral animal?” I twitched at his voice, tugging again. “eggin’ me on like this, makes my magic boil.” My head was suddenly forced down against the wooden platform of the table, his hand on the back of my neck. “ya like it when i’m hilt deep in ya, huh? answer me.” his tongue curled around my earlobe tugging it.


“that’s my girl…” he rumbled so pleased at my admission, that he doubled his efforts and I rolled my hips to put in more intensity as he slammed into me. All at once, I clenched him in a vice grip and he let out a low guttural moan and I had a strange feeling my entrance was being stretched as I held him in. I was being filled, fuller and fuller and I whined because I shouldn’t be able to take anymore. Sans was panting and I tried to get him off me. “knot yet, sweetheart.”

“Did you just-?” I asked, not bothering to finish the question.

“yes. i. did.” he breathed in my face. “and i’m enjoyin’ watching the kid feast. they were goin’ crazy, but they look pretty full now.”

“How can you tell?” I demanded and he laughed, then looked around.

“look over yer shoulder, pay.” And he grunted, holding himself up so I could see our bonds. A tiny little white tendril had joined the mix from a lower area than where my bonds were phasing through, although it looked a little dim, as if it were sleepy. He set himself back on top of me. “this might be why a boss monster hasn’t been born in a long time or at least, a strong one. looks like bondin’ is pretty important. wonder if the king knows much about it?” Sans asked thoughtfully.

“Is that really the thing to be asking now? You should be trying to get out!” I told him, the ache of him felt so good, but it was sending massive tremors deep within me and he grunted as a particularly strong one, squeezed him again.

“damn, your body’s milking me fer more, isn’t it?” he growled, sucking at my ear with his tongue. “you gotta settle down first, then i’ll let ya go.” he chuckled, but it was strangled by another squeeze.

“Feeling ‘sansitive?’” I laughed, jerking a little from the next one.

“shut up and enjoy it.” he refused to look down at me. After a few minutes, with some difficulty, Sans popped his knotted cock out of me, letting his thick warm cum slowly pour out. “now that’s a sight i like ta see. turn around, sweetheart, don’t think i forgot you didn’t cum.”

“B-but I-” I sighed when his mouth opened to suck at a breast and his fingers rubbed and pinched my clit just how I liked it, until more of my juices mixed in with his.

“there ya go.” he whispered gently and nuzzled my neck, sloppily licking up against my throat. I basically purred at the sensation as he took me through this one last orgasm. I pulled at his collar one last time, this time, hooking a finger around it to pull his skull forward. He instantly knew what I wanted and wrapped his tongue around mine, breathlessly, twisting it slowly and using it to stroke the roof of my mouth. I was so unbelievably tired, but my job at Grillby’s started tonight.

“Sans, can you take me home?” I asked, too lazy to teleport myself.

“i think i could bend the rules since now i’m back on the clock, but only ‘cause you’re carrying my kid.” he smirked.

“I need to take a shower and a nap after that, before I go to work tonight.” I told him sleepily. He froze.


“Grillby’s.” I yawned as he carried me through the Void.

“do me a favor, pay. skip the shower.” His bright white pin pricks of eyes were intense…

“Why?” I asked.

“i want every monster in there ta know you’re mine and mine alone. including grillby.” He said seriously. “i don’t care if it pisses them off, but until we drive it home, you and i are gonna have a good time on my breaks before your shift there starts.”  

“At least let me clean up.” I pouted.

“heh, sweetheart, if it were up to me you’d be going in there, still cum stained, the scent of our sex still heavy on ya, the look of their stupid faces when ya send ‘em flyin’, heh, i wish i could see it, but i gotta go too.” His arms pulled me closer for another moment, then he set me down on the couch as if I was made of glass. He stayed long enough to help clean not only me but himself up too, in fact, he even took a shower.

“Where’re you going?” I asked sleepily as he emerged from the bathroom.

“on a research trip, though i wish i could, i can’t smell like a human right now, but we’ll change that later tonight.” he answered with a gleam in his bright eyes and I smiled, but then frowned. What kind of research trip? “i’ll be back, don’t worry.” He sat on the couch and kissed my forehead, then my stomach, letting his hands lingering just a tad too long making him ring with reluctance. He looked like he was troubled, but that disappeared with a look of wanting to fulfill what he wanted to do.

“I love you, Sans, be safe.” He gave a short laugh.

“i’ll try. you know how it’s like. you be safe too. i love you.” he said softly as he got up from the couch. I closed my eyes sleepily. I’d ask later, he didn’t want to tell me right now, but later it would change.


i scowled at the library books. it was a miracle the building was still standing, let alone had books, but there was the strict library lady who hadn’t been dusted yet and the threat of it when you didn’t return the book or pay the fee when it was overdue. there wasn’t anything i didn’t already know, in fact, it was almost as if i had written the books, but no, gaster just used my research and i didn’t want to take credit for that. it painted a target on my back. gaster had been right… i had seen some pregnancies, but they were all regular monsters, not boss monsters. i needed to make sure patience was going to be alright. unfortunately, the only person to ask now was the king who had fathered the last strong boss monster… but that might put him in a rage, thinking of his lost son and he may even demand to see my soulmate to feel what progress she had and i already knew that.

day by day, that kid was getting stronger. i but i needed to know. i steamed as i started the long trek to the castle. research trip from hell more like. i knew i needed to conserve my strength for later if that-

“Hello!” an unfamiliar voice of a child giggled. children weren’t happy here. i turned and the first thing i sensed was a huge crash that sounded like pans falling. i looked in surprise at a rip in the universe, a small girl with dark blue hair waving at me. “You look like, Daddy! Do you have a question?” i was stunned.

“Lucida Sans! You’d better not be playing in Daddy’s lab again!” the child froze.

“One minute please.” she whispered and detached her hand and teleported, then came back. “Sorry, Momma gets mad when I touch Daddy’s machines.” she apologized to me.

“Yes, I do! They aren’t toys, they-” she took one look at me, turned her head and yelled. “SANS!” she continued to scold the child and she bit her tongue.

“pay?” i asked.

“But Momma, he was calling me!” she tried to explain herself as someone else joined the two groggily in a wrinkled, but nice button up shirt. “And Daddy showed me how to!” she looked to the skeleton towering over her.

“Sans!” he blinked hard, trying to get the sleep out, before rubbing his eyes as she crossed her arms.

“…yes?” i asked, trying to lighten this for them.

“Sorry, dear, this is between this Sans and me.” she said apologetically. “Lucy, end it.”

“Momma, he wants to ask questions! He needs help or-”

“lucida, you had better have a good explanation.” she shrunk again. “i’m terribly sorry my daughter bothered you.” he turned to me.

“she was right, i do have questions. i need help. i need to know.” i pleaded and they seemed taken aback by my tone.

“Daddy, he needs help or bad things will happen.” she insisted.

“what sort of problem do you have?” he broke down for her adorable face.

“fer one, my timeline ain’t the best, but i got that covered and two… i’m gonna have a kid and there’s a lot going against me here. what’s gonna happen when the kid takes form? and gaster isn’t helpin’ things with his questions, they’re gettin’… personal.”

he’s still there? he didn’t get addicted to determination?” the other sans asked me excitedly. i shook my head.

“i was.” i admitted. “not anymore. he cut me off and i got… better.”

“So you’re more aggressive, aren’t you?”

“yeah, pay.” i said sadly.

“My name is Faith.” she smiled. “Patience touched your world, didn’t she?”

“she is my world. i healed ‘cause of her.” i told her.

“i have many, many questions for you, perhaps as many as you do, but lucy is getting tired.” sans said.

“I am not, Daddy!” she shot back and i chuckled at her ferocity.

“that tells me you are getting a nap, after interrupting daddy’s.” he told her sternly, then he turned back to me. “would you like to come through so we don’t waste as much power?”

“i, uh, guess.” i answered.

“Sans, that’ll drain us both! And by then, Lucy will be going to bed.” faith reminded him.

“hmm… then perhaps…” he looked at me again. “stay put. this will probably take a few minutes in your world, lucy?”

“We’re gonna help him?” she asked excitedly.

“yes. allow me to find the world.” she nodded and the rip flickered out. i waited a minute and it flickered back. “there we are. how long did it take us on your end?” he asked.

“’bout a minute.”

“Yikes, our timeline seems to be a fast one.” faith flinched.

“there are others faster than ours. now, sans, four hours in our world is one minute in yours. we all should be recharged by then and you can return. our timelines run seamlessly when connected like this so once the rip is closed, they should resume as before, faith?”


“walk through please.”

i listened to them, walking through the now portal. it felt like walking through water, but it drained me. it was doable, i would survive. i ended up in a laboratory space.

“that was somethin’.” i huffed. the air here didn’t seem so charged or anxious and i felt like i could breathe. they waited for a moment and led me to their house to sink into their oh-so-familiar couch.

“We’re going to need a nickname if Papyrus comes out and for clarity.” faith told me.

“red.” i said without hesitation, noticing is wasn’t an overused shade in this world.

“good.” the other me sighed, while he settled down in an armchair and his daughter bounced on his lap, seemed like she had a good nap. now i had a good look at her. her wavy dark, but bright blue hair bounced with her as she squirmed as little kids do. she couldn’t have been more than six. she looked like her body filled out and wasn’t just a pile of bones like me or her father, as her clothes seemed to fit her frame just fine. but her limbs… her thighs and upper arms had the look of being filled, but as they delicately flowed to her lower legs and arms, it was clear they were very skeletal. her ivory white skin was the same as mine and his and while she definitely had faith’s facial structure, complete with a little button nose, it was unmistakable she had inherited eye sockets instead of eyes, holding bright blue pinpricks. “curious about your own?” he smiled, noticing my stare and relaxing as she found a comfortable spot.

“can’t say i’m not. how long was she carried?” i asked.

“About seven months. To be fair, humans are carried for nine, that’s probably what brought on the extra month.” faith told me. the look in my sockets said i wanted to ask more personal questions and they noticed. “Lucy, why don’t you make some hot chocolate? I’m sure our guest would like some.”  she brightened and sprung up, her striped shirt a blur as she ran to do that. i lowered my voice.

“bonding. is that commonplace here?”

“yes. usually it is between two people, but more can be made if accepted at the time.” sans answered lowly as well.

“heh, maybe it is the corruption. i’d explain, but, uh, i really don’t want ‘er ta hear.” i jammed my thumb towards the kitchen. both parents bristled and they wanted to ask me more, but held their tongues because i was right. “don’t worry, i’m not corrupted anymore. how many times did you guys bond to help her out? i mean, my patience is already completely magic.”

“So was I. It works pretty fast. About five years bonded to those humans who absorb magic, their bodies are overrun by magic and start to reform. It can do all sorts of things to you, but once it’s settled, it’s settled. It gives you a monster lifetime, magic and heat. The more powerful the monster is in magic, the more powerful yours will be and you absorb certain tricks they can do, like with, I’m sure all of us, displacement. As for bonding while carrying Lucy, we did try to keep up for at least once a day, but I survived a day or two without it.” faith explained with a spew of knowledge. lucy started handing out mugs to us, shyly smiling at me as she handed me mine, then raced back into the kitchen with two more and went up the stairs carefully and knocked on what i knew was papyrus’s door. i started to sweat, my bones rattling watching her, wondering if she was safe or not.

“Uncle Pappy! I have a present for you!” she said in a sweet sing-song voice.

“I LOVE SURPRISES FROM YOU LUCY!” his voice shouted as he opened his door and i flinched. noticing my distress, faith put her hand on my clenched fist, from next to me on the couch.

“She’s alright. Nobody will hurt her.” she told me in such seriousness, i believed her, but i didn’t relax until his door closed and she came down the steps.

“your world must be harsh for you to fear your own brother like that.” sans said sadly when lucy went back into the kitchen.

“yeah, we’re workin’ on it and he’s getting’ better.” lucy came back out with a little plate of tiny cookies and faith chuckled at her.

“Ever since he found and fixed that Easy Bake Oven for her…” she shook her head and smiled.

“I’m sorry Daddy, for waking you up the last two nights. I tried to be good and make some cookies for you.” she looked down at the ground while he gave her a warm, but tired smile.

“my dear, it’s not your fault you have nightmares. you can always come to me or mamma.” he lifted her chin gently. “i’m not mad at you, but you need my permission to go into the laboratory. there are dangerous things in there.” i just noticed the drink in my hand again and decided to take a sip. hot chocolate? i haven’t had something bittersweet and rich like this in a long time and i savored the flavor while watching the exchange between father and daughter.

“I know.” lucy said and he took a few cookies and crunched on them. she offered some to her mother, then me, stealing a few herself and i chuckled. i looked at her fingers, the skeletal joints just like mine, but more delicate. she blushed an odd hue of blue, the same as her hair and she extended her arms to me.

“Don’t be afraid Mister Red. Momma says it’s ok to be afraid sometimes, but you’re ok here.” i could see the flash in both parents’ eyes watching my reaction from her hug. i paused, stunned she would do something like that, in fact, i knew i looked scary and out of place. instead of anything they half-expected, i returned it.

“don’t stop bein’ a lil sweetheart, lucy.” i chuckled. i could see faith and sans relax out of the corner of my eye.

“Lucy, you only stayed up past your bedtime because I know you wanted to talk to him, but Mr. Red needs to go home soon. Come on, time for bed.”

“Can- Can Uncle Pappy read me a bedtime story tonight?”

“Of course.”

there was a little bit of commotion upstairs as the three people shifted around and i was left staring at myself.

“alright. i’m going to tell you now before my wife comes back. there will be some mood swings, she may not move things accordingly with magic. there will be many surprises. try to keep her calm, the baby reacts to her emotions and your voice and she may not feel or be aware of the full effects around her and most importantly, i’ve found, your child’s soul will not necessarily be the same as mine, nor will they necessarily look the same. it has some choice how it takes up form.” he hissed between his teeth. i nodded, understanding.

“ya have a cute little girl. how the hell she found me when i needed these questions answered, i don’t know, but she’s smart. how old is she?” i asked as he smiled proudly.

“thank you and she’s only five and she seems to have a knack for finding patience. we had found the original some time ago. she explained her soul was split, so i can only assume you’re from one of the timelines where that’s happened.”

“yeah.” i confirmed as faith came down the stairs.

“alright. in return, would you tell us about the corruption going on in your world?”

i took a deep breath and started telling them what happened with everything. not knowing how i was corrupted, but how i was healed. how i had always remembered it that way as the world got crueler and crueler. how gaster seemed to stay untouched. the determination experiments on me and how i felt and now how my magic was so strongly effected so much, my soul changed. the pain i had been in when that happened, then when patience found me, what she did to me and for me and my current situation.

“more often than not, i’ve found i hide my determination in my secondary aspects and while many versions of us have been experimented on, it’s not usually to the extent you have been. usually that is gaster himself.” he shifted uncomfortably saying his name. “i had a very good relationship with him, but it seems most don’t.”

“it’s off and on. i don’t like it, especially after what happened, but i have no choice. that job pays the best and everything is either homemade, stolen or expensive. i got some unfinished business i need ta take care of too. expensive business if i ever wanna see the light a day.”

“Sounds like quite the conundrum, but since I know you in more ways than one, you can do it. You’re doing your best it sounds like, while also trying to help the corrupted.” faith assured me.

“how do you guys know so much about corruption?” i asked, finishing the sweet hot chocolate.

“after the last royal scientist fell into the core, a few of his followers became corrupted. i was only his assistant, so i didn’t know what exactly was going on, but i tried to help them. they haven’t been the same since, but they react to kindness as if it could kill them. they seem so obsessed with their lv and exp levels they demanded for me to bring them something to kill. of course, i couldn’t, but they faded with time when i couldn’t help them.” sans told me sadly, then looked at his watch. “it is getting late here and i have a long work day ahead of me.”

“You mean us.” faith chuckled.

“yes, dear. we should take you back to your universe. i’m sure you’ve learned quite a bit.” the other sans pointed out.

“some things don’t change.” i chucked. “yeah.” i agreed and we walked back around to the workshop.

“One more thing. When the baby takes form, you’re going to want to be there. It’s… different to say the least and I broke heavy objects because I panicked and he wasn’t there.” faith told me and the other me rubbed his neck sheepishly.

“thanks fer the warnin’. i’ll see what i can do.”

“Good luck, you’ll need it. Watch her and tell Patience I said hi and that we’re doing well.” she had taken my hands and put a small sack in them. i knew what it was.

“i can’t take your gold, really. i need ta do this on my own. that hot chocolate was enough.” she frowned as i handed it back. “i’m almost there, i won’t need it.” i lied. i did have a stockpile now, but it was pitiful until my next paycheck came in. i just needed to save instead of gamble.  we would survive.

“treat her well.” sans told me, pushing up his glasses. “go, now.” his blue eye flashed as he transferred magic.

“thank you.” i told them as i went through. i panted a little bit as i was set off near my house and i staggered there. patience was still sleeping where i had left her on the couch. i sighed in relief, knowing she would be alright now. i gave her a kiss again and slid down on the ground, the couch to my back, on guard again for anything to happen.

“Short research trip?” patience asked sleepily.


“Find what you wanted?”

“yeah. go back to sleep.” i crammed my hands in my pockets, only to find things in there. i pulled out more tiny cookies and a folded up piece of paper. curious about the paper first, i unfolded it. it was a little drawing. it was me with my red soul and patience with her green, holding hands and a little one she had made shiny with white glitter in between us. i chuckled a little, intending to show patience later.                     

Chapter Text

“Are you sure we have to bond so much?” I asked as Sans held me on his lap during my break between my jobs in his illegal hotdog stand in Hotland.

“i don’t want ya dusting. this kid could feed off our magic more’n once a day. you gotta use magic and i gotta sit here, so i’d rather give them mine when i can. ‘sides a little more determination ain’t gonna hurt with the way things are now.” he chuckled.

“Maybe not, but they’re going to be the first uncorrupted monster born in quite a while. What if-”

“you worry too much. even if this kid was corrupted, we’re it’s parents. ya told me you weren’t interested in killin’ anyone when you were corrupted an’ ya know i wasn’t. i gotta feelin’ if we’re there for ‘em, they won’t hurt anyone on purpose.” He nuzzled into my neck. I could feel the little soul vibrate from Sans’s voice, not to mention, the feelings coming from it, since we were, in fact, bonding at the moment, deciding to rest instead of Sans plowing me over the booth. Despite all of the rough sex, he only wanted to take care of me, us, his family. “they’re the first powerful boss monster in a long time and this kid’s gonna drain us ‘til they come out, but i really don’t mind as long as you’re safe. i’m… proud of helpin’ make this kid. they’re gonna be the happiest, carefree little troublemaker in the underground.” He chuckled deeply and I joined him. Sans rubbed my stomach lovingly and a warm feeling spread throughout my body and he shivered when he felt it through the bonds.

“Mmm… I wish we could stay like this…” I leaned back against Sans comfortably. Noticing a monster approaching, she curled her lip and we shut up about my pregnancy. Sans clutched my stomach harder. “Sans, what’s wrong?”

“they’re showin’.” He whispered, trying to block out the white light with his large hands. I immediately started helping him.

“They’re happy.” I whispered against his skull. He’d started to sweat.

“One hot animal, on the double.” The rock girl monster growled. He didn’t move as I embarrassed him further by nuzzling him and kissing his cheek and neck. She turned to leave once she had the hotdog in her hand, but Sans dragged her back.

“ya gonna pay for that or what? it’s thirty g.” he sneered at her.

“I could, or maybe I’d mention you don’t need any more whores wrapped around you.” she threatened.

“that don’t bother me. thirty g.” Sans didn’t budge.

“Then maybe I’ll mention this to the royal guard.” She threatened again.

“they don’t care what the hell i do. i work for ‘em. don’t get on my nerves. that hotdog is thirty g.” he repeated calmly. I laughed quietly.

“You’d better be down on your luck to be with him.” The rock girl shot at me.

“What? You can’t take the big bad skeleton? It’s not like he wants anyone else anymore. You and your friends should be glad I took him off the streets.” Sans rumbled, pleased at my saying, light flashing through his eyes.

“Freaks.” She accused us, throwing the gold on the table.

“the freakiest.” Sans’s smile widened as he let her go.

“That affection makes me sick.” She spat.

“jealous? have some more.” Sans could barely contain himself with glee as he peppered light kisses on me and nuzzled my cheek.

“You’re disgusting!” she made a face and hurried away as we laughed. I could feel his chest rumble and I knew what he wanted right now. It was evident sitting on his lap.

“Aw, did that rile you up?” I teased.

“we’re still bonded.” He growled as his face dusted red.

“Well, I have to go anyway, so… either wait it out, ‘til after my shift or whatever you do when you’re alone.”

“stick in the mud.” He muttered.

“You have the stick, Sex Addict.” He laughed at that one. “I’ll see ya in four and a half hours.” I sighed. He continued chuckling, squeezing me tighter as our bonds retracted from each other.

“be safe.” He said as he kissed my cheek, letting me go.

“I will. Love you too.” I got out from behind the booth and started to jump back home.

Now wearing my nice clothing, I walked to the bar. The eerie lighting didn’t help much around me, but I did was I was told and cleaned a few things humming while I did.

“…help in back.” Grillby nodded at me.

“Watch Doggo. He’s almost reached his limit.” I warned him before going in back to help Fuku, his daughter. The bright blue glare blinded me for a moment as my eyes adjusted. She was a patient person for sure, but oddly louder than her father. She brightened further when she saw me come in.

“Patience!” she smiled.

“You need help with the boxes again, Fuku?” I asked.

“Yeah, I don’t need to set them on fire again.” she sighed.

“Hey, you’ll get it eventually. Being made of fire has its advantages here.” I told her.

“I know, but I’m going to end up burning everyone I touch, except Dad.”

“Listen, I had a lot of accidents before I figured out how my magic works. Things were thrown everywhere, people were tossed when I was mad, blades made of magic were thrown.” I blinked realizing how many times I threw people, things and magic. “I trained so much, I almost dusted one day, so don’t do that, but you need to at least train to get a hold of it. You, I think it’s just a matter of keeping calm. You’re good at it, you can control it, see?” I touched her arms which were hot, but not burning.

“It’s just exerting myself.” Fuku sighed again.

“Well, then you need to focus, that’s all. You can learn. I’m not done learning. Control comes with time.” I smiled. “Ask your Dad. He knows how frustrating this is.” Grillby peeked in.

“…?” he asked if I was done.

“Just a moment.” I pulled boxes down with my magic.

“…” he told me to watch the bar and I nodded.

“Dad, I was just-”


That was all I heard before going out and standing behind the bar, starting to hum and sing quietly, while cleaning up the counters.

“Well I was moving at the speed of sound.

Head-spinning, couldn't find my way around, and

Didn't know that I was going down.

Yeah, yeah.

Where I've been, well it's all a blur.

What I was looking for, I'm not sure.

Too late and didn't see it coming.

Yeah, yeah.

And then I crashed into you,

And I went up in flames.

Could've been the death of me,

But then you breathed your breath in me.

And I crashed into you,

Like a runaway train.

You will consu-”

I didn’t notice the jukebox powering to life and starting to play music to my song. I also didn’t notice how quiet it got as I started singing louder, completely distracted by cleaning. What stopped me was the hot hand on my shoulder and I jumped, finally noticing these things.

“I-I’m sorry. No one was coming for a drink and- and-” Grillby held up his other hand, a devious smile forming on his lips.

“…would you sing by request?” he asked.

“I-if you want, I could, but pay me extra per song. I need the gold.” I told him.

“…good.” He looked around. “…fifty G for another song.” He told the entire bar, who was watching us, still transfixed by my voice. Immediately, one of the regulars came up to the bar, dropped his gold in front of me and whispered a song idea in my head.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do for that…” I told him. As the night went on and patrons drank more, they started throwing single coins at me in a competition to see who could hit me. None of them ever did. What stopped the songs that night was Doggo, who threw a smoking dog biscuit at my face. It went right back at him with a flash of magic and burned his nose. To further the humiliation, I threw him out for that. I shook my head. He had been getting better, along with all the other sentries, but that was too much. Soon after that, customers were either too drunk to continue or left before they ended up like Doggo. When it was time to leave, Grillby gave me a pouch of what I had made that night off of singing. It turned out, he gave me half of what he charged and that meant he took into account that I wasn’t a worthless person here. “Thank you!” I told him, astonished, even looking at his soul. It was only about an eighth clear of corruption.

“Patience?” Fuku motioned me to come into the kitchen.

“Yes?” I asked back.

“I, um, noticed, you wear the same things for when you come in here and Dad’s been complaining about it… there’s not really much he can do about it though, especially if you’re actually saving up for something important. How hard is it living with Papyrus?” She asked.

“Very, but at least I know the house won’t get ransacked.” I told her truthfully.

“Well, since we are about the same size, I could lend you some of my dresses if you’d like…” I looked at her, knowing she wanted something. “And in return you could teach me focus…” she trailed off nervously. “Patience?” she snapped me out if it, as I was focusing myself on her soul, sensing Kindness in there somewhere.

“Is your Dad ok with this?” I asked. I didn’t want to get fired over working Fuku too hard… or what he deemed too hard.

“Yes, of course! As long as I don’t dust, he won’t hold you responsible.” She told me eagerly.

“Alright.” Fuku and I discussed about days to meet and when, because it was well known I was also the shopkeeper’s new assistant/shield. I walked out happily, running into Sans, who I wasn’t expecting to find. “Hiya-” he grabbed my arm with a glare and teleported, effectively pinning me on his bed under him.

“what the hell was that?” he asked angrily.



i didn’t know if she realized i watched grillby’s after work, just to make sure she wasn’t in over her head. oh, hell, i knew grillby noticed, taking some delight in watching me shift outside to wonder if i should or shouldn’t help patience and risk going in. when he disappeared in the back, i noticed everyone started looking at patience. her soul looked so beautiful, pulsing outward and i physically could feel them, trying to heal me, but i was uncorrupted and at max HP. i sighed, feeling the comfort it brought. i could see the corruption start to melt slowly from the bottom of their souls and then grillby stopped her and she started singing for almost the rest of the night, with the only problem being the minute they decided to throw coins at her in the nasty attempt to possibly make her stop or hitch. my magic boiled over when doggo threw a biscuit he was smoking at her, but like the coins, she caught it with her magic and i sidestepped as she turned it right back at him, burned his nose and threw him out.

“you think throwing a burning biscuit at my girl isn’t gonna go back on you?” i growled from behind doggo, my eye lighting up. doggo hiccupped, stumbling up.

“Move, ya damn skeleton.” he growled back, drawing his katanas.

“don’t need to.” i purposely let bones erupt from the ground behind him and he slashed at them, then picked him up by the scruff of the neck. doggo tried to slash at me again, but my blue mode gravity stopped him. “buddy, i’ve been doing this a long time and you don’t wanna cross me. do that again and you’re dust.” i threatened, then slammed him into a nearby tree and leaving him there, knocked out cold. i waited until everyone else filed out, until patience left herself and i grabbed her arm, pulling her into our room through the void.

“what the hell was that?” i asked angrily, pinning her under me.

“What exactly are you talking about?” she asked.

“that little show you let happen.” i growled.

“What, singing? Grillby’s giving me half the profits and whatever they throw at me. If they decide to be unruly, then I throw them out, which I did.” she said, confused. “I thought more gold is what we needed.”

“you’re using a lot of energy for this, it’s not worth it fer this. limit it, got it?”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” patience responded. “Sans, don’t limit me because I’m pregnant.” her eyes lit up in warning.

“i’m not worried about that magic used during all this is normal. i want your soul to heal too. it’s still twisted, y’see?” i pulled out her soul delicately, showing her. “until that’s healed, i don’t want ya to use that amount of energy, when i could be using it to heal ya. you first, then everyone else, got it?”

“…Fine. I’ll see what I can do.” she looked away from me.

“i ain’t askin’ much. in fact, i liked seein’ the way your soul sparkled and started healin’ everyone. they’re just resisting in the only way they know and too many monsters at the same time could get ya hurt. i don’t want that.” her face softened at my saying. “think ‘bout what yer doin’. we’ll get everyone, don’t worry about that. you and the kid are more important right now. no rushin’ all this, please.” i could feel her anger ebb and i sighed.

“I’m trying to think about the future, so we can have what we need for every day after for at least them.”      

“i know sweetheart, but i want you and the kid intact.” my own bonds started wrapping around her soul. damn, i couldn’t stay mad at her, not that i really was. most of my anger had been towards grillby and doggo. i needed to straighten things out with him and the best way to do that was pay my tab. i jumped, feeling someone different join in with us, then looked down at the pale pink tendrils wrapping with ours. “they’re hungry again. twice a day and all night, jeez, this kid really wants our magic, but how can i say no?” i chuckled.

“You’re going to have to eventually. I’m not going to be the bad guy every time.” patience warned.

“i know, i know, but that perfect, lil’, itty-bitty soul is ours to take care of. you’re gonna be whoever you want, jus’ like your mama.” i told the tendrils, my mouth at her stomach. i chuckled again, watching the little soul vibrate and shake, feeling happy.

“You didn’t get to choose?” patience asked.

“more like forced on me, born with an’ all that jazz. no one knows why, but my sense a justice is pretty damn strong. strong enough to judge with all the other stuff i got. i’m good at that job and ya can’t kill the judge, not when he’s as truthful as facts in front of ya. people stopped coming when i started throwin’ ‘em out fer tryin’ ta kill me. i wasn’t ever like ‘em, even corrupted.”

“Huh. Even here…” patience trailed off thoughtfully.

“yeah, guess i don’t differ much, huh, sweetheart.” i smiled

“Here and there.” she smirked back. “But there’s one big thing different about you. Your soul is red… I’ve been meaning to ask about that, but with all this…”

“yeah, i know. you’re gonna wanna stay down fer this. i’ll show ya.” i said softly. slowly i let our souls merge and memories, my memories were shared.

“Sans, I’ve been having trouble finding a test subject and I think you may benefit greatly from this research.” gaster said for the thousandth time from behind a clipboard.

“with all due respect, i’d probably forget to take the determination every day.” i yawned.

“It may bring up your HP. What do you think of that?” gaster asked.

“i’ll think ‘bout it.” i answered.

that night, i didn’t know it, but it was the first of many abusing tortures papyrus would start on me and i didn’t have the capability to stand up for myself or i would’ve been dusted. i came back to the lab, afraid for my life and agreed. at first, the determination burned, but my soul could take it. then it felt uplifting and powerful, as if i wasn’t worthless and the more violent i became outside of the lab, picking fights, but never much more, because my HP stayed at one.

“Good. Your skills seem to be improving, if there ever was something to improve upon, but it still looks as if even Determination can’t bring up your HP. I’m sorry, Sans.” gaster gave me a sorrowful, as if he knew something i didn’t.

“whatever, doc. shoot me up again, maybe it’ll happen.” i couldn’t see the downward spiral i was going in. i needed more determination. it wasn’t just an experiment anymore, it was all i thought about. i even gotten my fuck buddy to get me some in an attempt to amp up my HP again, but truth be told, that one hurt the most and i ran rampant through the labs finding pleasure in destroying everything i could find because the pain changed my soul.

“S-S-S-SANS! D-d-d-d-don’t! NO! Ohmygosh, GASTER!” even gaster couldn’t stop me and i didn’t stop until i was exhausted and fell asleep where i stood. when i woke up, he had figured out a way to contain me and declared the experiment a failure. i could move if i was calm enough through a special magic, even soul magic couldn’t destroy without some huge amount of effort. the cut off was hell and i stewed for a mere week, trying to figure out how to get out, how to get more. it was always more.

“Are you sure you‘re feeling alright, Sans?”

“m’fine. just need more.” i growled at gaster.

“The only thing I can give you are these filthy things.” he grimaced giving me another pack of smokes.

“i don’t fucking want those, dammit! you know what i want!”

“And I’ve outlawed the production of synthesized essences because of this. There is no more.” at the realization, i thrashed in my containment unit, gaster blasters everywhere, going off until i had no more energy. i couldn’t make more. i didn’t know how. this was fucking worse than torture! however, and eventually, i relaxed and my demeanor allowed me to return back into my everyday life. i learned without the determination, out of spite, to be exactly what i wanted to be: a monster. only the worst of the worst, even as a laughing stock, because one day, i’d snap and no one would see it coming. my patience would help, my justice would kill them all and my determination made me that more dangerous. my plan, one day stopped and where spite was, confusion took its place, then joy, then love…

i breathed easily, now somewhat at peace with myself about this. it happened, but now, it was over. that battle was resolved when my corruption was pulled out of me. i looked over at patience to see tears streaming down her face.

“i didn’t hurt you, did i?” i asked, alarmed.

“No…” she said quietly. “Thank you for showing me.” now she knew what the corrupted error me meant. i was a ticking time bomb for this world, but not anymore. “I don’t want you to feel like that ever again.”  she sniffled, holding onto me.

“shhh… that’s only how i think it happened. my soul was… really messed up from this. i jus’ want ya ta know… that ain’t me anymore. i wanna use my determination fer you, and give our kid a healthy amount.” i chuckled softly into pay’s hair.

“You- you just want their soul to pick Determination!” patience finally got it.

“you got it, sweetheart. that means they’re gonna kick ass,” i laughed as i squeezed hers and she squeaked. “but i’ll love ‘em whatever they pick.” i nuzzled her. “i ain’t doin’ anything on purpose ta jeopardize either of you…”

“Mmm hmm…”

…but i don’t know how to keep you safe… i thought as we wrapped our limbs around each other.       

Chapter Text

I huffed. It seemed like it was getting harder to teleport. Worried about that, Sans called Gaster and sent me on my way there immediately. He couldn’t go with me this time and the Core was further than the lab, even if they were connected further underground. One more jump. I could do this. I barely made it to the Hotland sign. Ugh, this was weighing on me. I sighed and decided to rest.

“Hey there, lovely lady. What brings you down towards Hotland?” I groaned. Why now? I straightened my back.

“Aaron.” I narrowed my eyes. It was the same monster with the scars on his shoulders Sans and I had done a number to.

“And you’re all by yourself, that’s pretty damning. Where’s your fuck buddy?” He asked.

Excuse me?” I sneered. “I don’t need him to fight my battles. I can go where I want, so see ya!” I raced towards Hotland before he could stop me, jarring the bridge as I clomped across it. I huff and bent over my knees, holding myself up. That took some energy. It wasn’t much further. I wrapped myself in Sans’s hoodie that he shoved at me when he ordered me to go and went into the lab. I checked my phone to look at the text Sans sent after it buzzed.

My Bone Boy- shove everyone ya meet, sweetheart. they’re all assholes.

I sighed. He was supposed to give me directions to get to the Core from the lab.

Me- Hey numbskull, I need an actual path? You have a map or something?

I shot him the text.

My Bone Boy- why didn’t ya just say so? you only asked for directions.

This text came with an attachment, which I saved on my phone for later use until I got used to the passages.

Call from: Mad Scientist

“Hey Gaster. I’m almost there.” I whispered to him, brushing past a few workers and answering the call.

“Good, good. You are aware of how to get in?”

“Yep, I’m going through the lab. You can let me in when you see me.” I told him. “But right now I need the map Sans gave me so I can get there and that’s on this phone…”

“Ah, yes, I see. I shall see you soon.” He hung up on me and I pulled up the map again. It led me down seemingly similar corridors, and as I got deeper pipes lined the walls and ceiling. The workers became less and less frequent.

“Halt. Restricted access.” I shrunk back from a guard. “ID.” He looked at me with malice in his eyes. I buried my head deeper into the fur of Sans’s hoodie. I showed him the laminated ID badge and flashed a few wing dings, saying Gaster was expecting me. He looked at me oddly, so I spread them out spelling slowly in wing dings, and translated them in English. He nodded and let me pass, watching me. I let my magic pool, lighting my eyes from the depths of the darkness of the hood and told him to remember me. It was only a little more ways to the Core. I waved at the cameras on one of the walls in a seemingly dead end and the wall opened. I went deeper into the center, where Gaster’s main laboratory resided.

“Th-th-the doctor s-s-sent me to get you.” Alphys skittered on her claws toward me. I flashed my thanks in wing dings. “S-s-s-so you don’t talk much, do you?” Alphys asked. I shook my head in response. “H-h-h-how was M-mew m-mew K-kissy C-cutie?” she asked apprehensively. I froze and apologized for not bringing them back and promised to the next time I was down in the lab.

“I can’t wacth much without Sans getting in the way.”

“Figures. The only thing he ever wants to do…” she muttered, getting more comfortable with me. “I don’t know what you see in him. He never does anything.” I used my magic to keep up the wing ding for J, because it was a smiley face. Alphys looked confused at first then, seemed to accept it. “You know he cheats.”

“Not with me.”

“Really? If I had 1G every time I heard that, I’d be rich!” Alphys cackled.

“We shared souls. We bonded.”

“Oh, really?” Alphys rolled her eyes. “That’s a new one. You’ve only been with him for a little while. He led me on for years. Did he even show you his soul?” She asked accusingly.

“Willingly.” I nodded.

“Well what’s so spe-”

“Alphys.” Gaster cut off Alphys’s frustrated question and she froze.

“D-d-d-doctor!” She jumped. “I-I-I-I was j-j-just w-w-warning h-her about S-Sans…” She shrunk.

“Sans will be with her for a while. He is overseeing a part of the lengthy process of reestablishing the population of boss monsters currently. Paige was a more than compatible match. As you know, female boss monsters are rare nowadays, and they are very particular to procreation and partners.” Really Gaster? Gaster raised a bone brow and took a sip of the strongly brewed coffee in a disembodied hand following him. “This is a program that does need to be picked up if we ever want to take our revenge.”

“B-b-b-but b-b-b-bonding?!?! Gaster, we can’t bond! Wh-whatever h-h-happened… it’s impossible now!” Alphys protested.

“One. You were never a compatible match for Sans, even if you both were capable of bonding. Two. I’ve found a collation between the state of many monsters souls and bonding. Three. The only known way to restore or even heal this state is through green magic, as well as bonding itself.” Gaster went to take another sip of his coffee, but the mug shattered.

“Sorry.” I caught the liquid and some shards of the mug. Gaster frowned at the handle, still in his hand.

“Th-th-there aren’t a-a-any h-h-healers or g-g-green m-magic users left alive! Y-y-you y-yourself h-had S-Sans do a survey!” Alphys exclaimed as this happened.

“Paige was missed, either sheltered or hiding. Her Determination may only be a secondary, but it is quite strong, so she learned to defend herself.” I nodded in agreement with Gaster. “There may even be more, it’s possible.”

“B-b-but Gaster-!”

“Go back to your project. I need to collect data from Paige.” Gaster waved her off and Alphys grumbled as her claws clicked on the floor, taking her away from us. Gaster waved me into the room where his machine for looking and measuring souls was. I dropped the fur hood. “Now, my dear, what seems to be the problem?” Gaster asked me.

“It’s getting harder to teleport and walk through the Void. I knew this might happen, but this only happened recently. It feels like I'm taking someone with me, more than I can usually handle.” I told Gaster.

“Ah, yes. I cannot tell you if this is normal or not, but I am assuming it is, so long as the child’s soul is intact. Sans has said nothing about damages?” He asked

“No, he would’ve been here with me if he thought they were dying, maybe even panicking. He loves them and they’re very happy about it.” I told Gaster, confused and feeling like I wouldn’t have to explain this.

“I see. Come, come. Let’s see how you’re coming along.” Gaster waved me towards the soul viewer, putting down his coffee. Something was off about him from last time. “Now, you aren’t feeling any surges of magic?” Gaster asked.

“Sometimes I don’t, but sometimes things happen, especially if my emotions come into play.” I told him as he helped hook me up.

“They’re already testing their power and have a natural response to your emotions. Normal to the conditions you’re in. Now I will ask you to try to limit your displacement, unless you have the help of Sans or in emergency. You should feel better, but no passengers, understand?” he asked and I nodded, looking curiously down at my soul and the baby’s. Their soul had gotten bigger and was a deep shade of magenta compared to the pale pink we saw last time. “Do you think you’ve had any mood changes?” Gaster asked, focusing on a clipboard.

“Um, no. Everything seems normal, but my emotional responses are sometimes a little more than what they should be.” I said truthfully, starting to text Sans again.

“How about your bonds?” Gaster asked. My heart skipped a beat.

“We bond every day. We want them to be strong. Um, didn’t Sans tell you that?” I asked back awkwardly.

“Yes, but what I meant is, how healthy do you think your bonds are?” Gaster specified. Why did he want to know that? Was he really jealous as I lightly suspected before I was pregnant? My phone pinged.

“Gaster, they’re strong.” I frowned, not even looking at the message.

“I only ask, because I need to gage the child’s growth in comparison to other pregnancies.” Gaster explained. “Now I can assume this means you are not… dissatisfied in any way with Sans?”

“No!” I exclaimed, outraged. “Why would I be dissatisfied with him?”

“Sans can be… hard to motivate, even in the most dire situations.” Gaster turned away.

“Sans has done nothing, but bust his nonexistent butt over trying to make everything better for me and this kid. He stopped gambling, he makes sure I eat and most importantly for him, he talks. He told me about his life before I came into it. He’s happy. We’re happy.” Gaster winced.

“That is good to hear.” He brushed off my tone. “Now, the child is growing exceptionally well. If you feel you need the time to stay safe, the Core is always an option. It is quite large and quarters can be made quickly.”

“I think we’ll stick to the house. It’s safe with my and Papyrus’s reputations.” I declined his offer.

“hey, did i miss anything?” Sans asked as he creaked open the door and walked in. He sighed, looking at the two souls in my body, his face softening as much as a skull could. “everything’s gonna be ok, right doc?” he asked.

“Yes. This is just a side effect of the magical depletion. As you know, when you take someone in the Void with you, you protect their soul in a way. Patience is just feeling the strain of both the depletion and carrying a passenger. I recommended that she displaces with only your help or in emergency. Other than that, your child is very healthy. I am still baffled by it choosing to be pink and changing color in your presence, Sans.” I looked again at the screen, noticing the deep magenta pink had grown softer as Sans got closer to me. “This is very exciting and interesting. Sans, can you tell me your analysis on this soul and why you think it’s doing that?” Gaster asked.

“didn’t pay say? kid’s happy. already loves us, just like we love them.” Sans settled next to me, holding onto my hand. By now, the little soul was almost pure white.

“If pink is a mix of truth and acceptance, it could mean love, but black means hate, right? Someone once told me that, I think.” I racked my brain for memories.

“yeah, black means hate. souls typically only get spots of those.” Sans confirmed.

“Well, then white must mean love. I mean, it makes sense.” I reasoned.

“makes perfect sense.” Sans agreed. “welp, if we’re clean, then we can get outta ‘ere. see ya doc.” Sans started pulling the electrodes off my body gently.

“Not so fast. Sans, this option is open to you as well, if you think it’s best. I just want you to be aware the Core is open to the both of you. There would be no want for food and safety above all.” Gaster insisted.

“doc, i don’t think you want pap down ‘ere. i ain’t leavin’ him behind, ‘cause of a promise i made way back. no matter what the hell happens, as long as he’s still ‘round, i ain’t abandonin’ him. ‘e thought i broke that promise a long time ago, but i’ll die ‘fore that happens. stupid promise.” Sans grumbled. “c’mon pay, let’s get ya home so you can rest. ya look exhausted.”

“Gee, thanks.” I said sarcastically. I yelped as he picked me up, bridal style and left before Gaster could protest further.

“yer welcome.” His breath smelled like mustard, as usual and he shifted to pull up the hood of his jacket over my head. “you jus’ sit tight, sweetheart, an’ enjoy the ride.” Sans chuckled, moving forward into the hallways.



“Don’t you have work?” patience asked.

“eh. if there ain’t anyone showin’ up ta the slapstick, i ain’t getting’ paid anyway.” i admitted. “but yer more important than not gettin’ paid.” i was beyond worried when that text came in:

pay up- Hey, Gaster’s asking me all sorts of weird questions. Something’s off about it and I don’t like it.

pay up- Can you come get me?

me- i’m on my way.

“so what was gaster askin’?” I asked curiously.

“How well our relationship is. How satisfied I am with you. He claimed he was worried because you’re a bit of a lazybones, but I know better. I told him off.” she said quietly.

“so then what’d he do?” i asked.

“He was kinda taken aback, then you showed up.” patience sighed.

“i don’t like this, but he’s the only one who can help us, plus the pay ain’t bad when we actually work.” i shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Well, in other news, Alphys starting telling me about your past and Gaster covered for us. He’s letting us take up an extra ‘project.’” it was almost audible the way she rolled her eyes.

“what project?” i asked.

“Oh, you know, the one that we’re in to procreate and make little boss monsters.” i froze. really doc? that was the cover story? whatever works for ya, i guess. but there was another reason why i stopped. i heard something. something whirring, something i never heard before. “Why’d you-”

“shh.” i hushed pay. “you hear that?” patience paused for a moment, staying as still as she could in my arms.

“No?” she questioned.


“M-M-M-Mettaton! I-I-I told you I-I-I’m not finished m-m-making adjustments!” i heard alphys’s stuttery voice follow what bounded out of a perpendicular hallway. what in the hell was this thing?

“Alphys, I told you a human would fall down here, I just knew it!” he exclaimed, pointing at me.

“sorry, buddy, but we’re just monsters goin’ home.” i tried to sidestep, but he blocked the way with his four arms.

“M-Mettaton, that’s just Sans and P-Paige. They work here too. Y-you can tell b-because they use magic.” Alphys explained shortly to her creation.

“Nonsense! The human sensors you-you put in are working just fine! I’m going to try a practice run for my QUIZ SHOW!!!” confetti started raining down everywhere around the bucket of bolts.

“alphys what the hell is this?” i asked.

“M-m-my project!” she sighed. “Just answer his questions… and Mettaton don’t zap them. Sans is fragile. He’ll dust if you do.”

“Thank you.” patience flashed.

“Don’t thank me yet.” alphys grumbled.

“That would completely violate the rules of my gameshow! Torture or Death!” mettaton exclaimed. patience whispered to me if mettaton tried to zap us, he would be dismantled beyond repair.

“pay don’t like the idea a getting’ zapped.” i warned as her eyes glowed from the depths of the hood.
“May-maybe I won’t. Maybe I will.” mettaton shrugged.

“I-i-i-it’s recommended you d-d-don’t. I-i-it would i-i-interfere with their project.” alphys told him.

“Project? Do tell!” the cracked monitor gasped.

“sorry, bolts, that’s top secret. what al knows is only the tip of the iceberg. now as you can see, we’re kinda tired. i’m not dealing with you flamboyant metal ass.” i growled, not liking the way he switched from trying to practice for a gameshow called torture or death to gossiping about our love life.

“Now, now, this is a family show, you shouldn’t be using such words!”

“fuck this.” i said, and before he knew it, his four arms were tied in a bow, curtesy of me.

“Did you really have to do that?” pay asked.

“did you wanna stick ‘round and answer questions?” i retorted.

“Good point.” my phone buzzed when i paused between jumps.


i laughed hard at his latest text. he still couldn’t filter out the mistakes, but he knew i never answered calls unless i knew it was important.

“What is it?” pay asked and i showed her the text message. she snorted.

“let’s mess with ‘im.”

“What’re you gonna do?” patience rolled her eyes again.

“fine, i’ll leave ya outta it. you can watch a real master of startin’ shit.” i grinned.

“You have no idea. I had siblings too remember! I was the middle kid, the queen of starting drama and making sure I got away with it.” she jeered back at me. i kicked open the door with pay still in my arms.


“calm down bro, can’t ya see i gotta handful?”

“Watch it, bonehead.” pay warned as i deposited her on the couch. i opened up my phone in front of papyrus as if i didn’t see the message and laughed again.


“i’m gettin’ a real kick outta this message.” papyrus checked his own phone.


“don’t know what kinda compliment ‘ober’ is, but i wasn’t aware you were on the other side of my dick.”

“SANS! I’LL-” he started to rush at me but i cut him off.

“aht. that wasn’t a pun.” i grinned at the technicality.


“dead on my feet?” i shrugged.


“if ya haven’t noticed i’m already there.”

“SAAANS!” that was my cue for grabbing patience who was trying not to laugh and displacing out before he started slamming me into a wall. we burst out laughing in my room.

“i’ll get us some dinner later, i pissed ‘im off.”

“Clearly.” patience rolled her eyes.

“what’s up with that?”

“What?” she asked defensively.

“maybe it’s nothing. don’t worry ‘bout it.” i tried to brush it off.

“What is it, Sans?” she really sounded annoyed.

“ok, maybe it’s somethin’. come ‘ere.” she got off the bed. i focused on her soul and noticed it looked different. it wasn’t exactly the pure deep green it usually was, it was… darker. that alarmed me… until i took a look at the baby’s soul. it was a rich dark blue now. “looks like the kid’s givin’ ya some attitude.” i chuckled, relieved. “ya had me worried fer a minute.”

“You know I can take care of myself.” she insisted.

“heh. not alone, sweetheart. ‘meber them? ya still need me.” i pulled at her soul with my blue mode magic and grabbed her.

“Yeah, I need you to help me with our little one, but not with protecting myself.”

“you’re gonna be feisty aren’t ya?” i grinned widely. “what a nice little change.” i purred into her ear and letting my bonds find both her soul and the kid’s.

“Sans, are you even listening-”

“maybe i don’t care ‘bout that right now.” i hissed. “show me how stubborn ya are now.”

“Maybe I will.” she pushed at me, but i as usual, i was kinda solid.

“what’re you doin’?” i smirked.

“Just testing something. I guess I don’t have the gravity magic anymore. Oh well, I still have this.” slowly i was pushed back up against a wall.

“sweetheart, we’ve been through this one before.” i reminded her. “why not try something a little different?” 

Chapter Text

“go on, pay. use me, just like ya threatened ta when we first met.” Sans’s voice emanated from behind me. He had let me push him against the wall, but then he turned me around and trapped me with his arms. I looked back up at him.

“Drop them.” I commanded.

“only if you fuck me.” he teased. I reached behind me and grabbed his collar.

“Sans, I will suck your dick until you can’t move if I’m taking it out.” I threatened.

“you ready, sweetheart? or are ya still a little sore from last night?” Sans laughed.

“I will go at my own pace, thank you very much.”

“yer fucking sore!” he laughed louder.

“That’s it!” I wiggled out of his grip and actually surprised him by slamming him down to the ground. I was eager to see what kind of cock he wanted to use on me. I ripped off his pants, though not literally like he would. Sans looked afraid. Good. He should be. I frowned, a little disappointed. It was just his normal dick this time, but that actually went in my favor. “Not feeling too cocky this time?” I asked.

“i like surprisin’ ya…” he mumbled. That made sense, since I wasn’t doing anything in that instant. He was feeling slightly sly.

“What is it?” I asked.

“after ya recover from those kids, i wanna try somethin’, but it ain’t safe while you’re carryin’ ‘em.”

“What?” I asked.

“nope. you’re gonna have ta wait.” He grinned wider.

“Fine. You know that’s my forte. Five months of waiting? As long as you’re still mine.” He bristled as I leaned down and gently brushed my lips against his member. “So, do you want this?” I poised my mouth over his erection.

“makin’ me beg?” Sans chuckled.

“Well,” my fingers fluttered over his member again and he let out a low growl. “How do I know what you want?” I asked innocently.

“then i’m gonna be clear with ya. i gotta bone with yer name on it, so suck it.” He said it threateningly, but didn’t mean it like that.

“Then don’t move.” I said lowly and smiled before filling my mouth with him and after a few bobs of my head, I came up for air and to look at him. His pupils were already dim and he wasn’t focusing. Good. I smiled and cupped my tongue and vacuum sealed it for a moment and let it bounce. Already stiff as a board. I smiled again, I couldn’t help it.

“yer fuckin’… good…” He trailed off, grunting a little. As he said this I filled my mouth again.

“Hmmmmm?” I hummed loud and he shuttered. I let him go. “What was that?” I smirked.

“ke-” I started furiously bobbing my head again. “fuck!” he shouted. I curled my tongue and vacuum sealed my entire mouth again and popped his cock. He jerked a little, his spine arching. “you little-”

“What hmm?” I asked sitting up, pushing my face in the vicinity of his. His maw was slowly dripping drool as his chest rose and fell. I kissed the flats of his jagged teeth and his tongue snaked out, forcing it’s way in and filling my mouth, curling and twisting around mine. He groaned into my mouth when I gripped him member again with one of my hands. Wet with my saliva, it was easy to start sliding it up and down in a continuous motion. He broke the kiss and leaned back, his skull thumping against the wall. His bones rattled and I leaned back down and started to deep throat him relentlessly. He started to groan again, his phalanges curling and tangling in my hair. I switched to swirling the tip of his dick and he whined. I smiled again and decided to pop him again. He jerked again.


“You really like that, huh?” I asked and he moaned in response. “Sans, can you think?” he growled lowly, but it turned to a whine again when I kissed his member. That was the signal to mount him. I withdrew completely.

“pay…” he rumbled, trying to grab me and pull me closer.

“Just a minute, sweetheart. Be good and you might get a reward.” I laughed, mimicking his pet name for me and sliding off my shorts.

“don’t be… fuckin’ cruel… leavin’…” he breathed, but he never finished because I wrapped my arms around his neck vertebrae and my legs settled above his pelvis around his spine.

“Honey, I’m not leaving you. I’m just getting warmed up.” I said innocently, squirming my bare ass against his hard member. He shuttered, but held me up in an embrace. “So what do you want, Sans?” I asked. I noticed for the first time, a sort of heat coming off our bonds, which had been there the whole time. His pause was too great and too tempting to not threaten. “If you stay silent, I’m going to assume you want another round with my mouth and I’d gladly suck you dry.” I whispered. He growled. “What was that? I couldn’t hear you, louder.”

“fuck me.” he said, louder.

“You want who to fuck you?” I asked, teasing him. His fingers dug into my back in frustration as he snarled animalistically at me. “Remember, sweetheart, if you hurt me, you aren’t being good. Which means you get punished, instead of a reward.”

“put my dick in that tight, soaking wet pussy a yers and fuck me!”

“Hmmm…” I paused as if thinking about it. “I don’t know. I’m not some nameless girl and I didn’t hear a please.”

“patience.” his vice grip had moved to my shoulders. “i will fuck you.” he growled sharply.

“No. You. Won’t.” I said just as hard back to him. “~Not unless I say.~” I said in a sing song voice. He looked thrown back at my tones. “You see, tonight, you’re not the one in charge here.”

“holy fuck.” he muttered under his breath and his arms shook.

“Now say it right.” I commanded. I… had mixed feelings about how proud I felt, getting Sans like this, but it seemed to fuel him further, but there was something else… fear?

“no, pay, your soul. stop using magic!” I blinked. I was using magic? I looked down at our bonds which were a deep blue. Had he stopped bonding? In my surprise and loss of apparent concentration, slowly some bonds changed purple to bright red. “holy fucking hell!” Sans breathed. “i was drownin’ in an aspect i don’t like all that much in my system. sorry fer the stop, but i couldn’t take it. that was fuckin’ hot.” My face heated.

“I-is my soul alright?” I asked.

“it’s slowly untwistin’. amazing how resilient yer soul is. it’s actually healin’ faster since, well, the kid. yer gonna be fine ‘fore this kid decides ta form. now, sweetheart, where were we ‘fore yer soul tries ta change back ta green?” Sans assured then questioned me with a sharp smile.

“Right, um, hmm… I don’t know. What do you want?” I asked him again.

“you fucking know what i want, stop playin’ games!”

“Well, if you tell me specifically what you want nicely, I might take care of that bone sticking up.” I smiled again when he growled.

“alright, you are makin’ me beg. i don’t beg.”

“Then looks like you’re not getting what you want.” My smirk went wider as he narrowed his eyes.

“i sure as hell-” he stopped and stiffened again.

“Strong words for someone who keeps his dick out.” I told him as I licked the shaft.

“fuck! p-pay…” he whimpered when I started deep throating him. I came up for some air.

“You know what I want. Say it right.” I told him. It didn’t take as long this time to get him back into that state.

“d-damn it! fuck me!” he roared.

“But I am.” I said innocently. “Do you want something different? Because I like it this way.” I went back to my ministrations. Periodically, he would groan or whimper or yell. He was cute, the way his eye-lights rolled back as he panted and drooled.

“fuuuck! sweeeetheart, i’m cummin’!” he said weakly. I doubled my efforts, moving my head faster as his hands twisted into my hair again and he thrusted deeper down my throat. My eyes stung, but it was less than a minute later when he stopped, as deep down as he could cram his dick in my mouth. I tried to swallow smoothly, but all I got was a gag and I pushed myself out in reflex, tasting him as hot cum filled my mouth. Even though at least half went down my struggling throat before I tasted it, I could barely keep it in. Slowly and stickily, it dribbled down my chin in a red gleam. I popped his cock one last time for good measure and he literally left the ground jumping. His pupils looked hazy and dim and his jaw was wide open, leaving a long tongue to flop out over sharp teeth as he panted some more. I made sure he watched me as I opened my mouth, showing him his contribution and swallowed it, licking what I could off my face. Again his skull went thunk against the wall and he thought he was done. He was wrong. I climbed into his lap again.

“Did you enjoy that, honey?” I asked sweetly.

“uuuuggghhh… fffffuuuuccckkk…” he drawled. I giggled. Did he even realize he already had another boner from my warm ass against it? “what’re- ffffuuuuucccckkk…” I smiled. He was almost helpless to stop, not that he wanted me to. He could go another round; that was proven more than once. There was slight annoyance coming off of him and I realized he wanted to stop shaking and rattling, but I wasn’t going to let him as I guided him into me. He felt warmer than usual and I liked it, but felt a twinge of worry.

“Sans, are you sick?” I asked him.

“n-no. j-jus… mmm…” His feelings finished off the sentence for me. He was getting off on this even more so than usual!

“Please tell me what you want.” I purred at him and wrapped my limbs around him again. He was so close to saying exactly what I wanted him to and that struggle had made it so much fun.


“Yes?” I replied smoothly.

“use me like a fucking dildo, please…” He breathed heavily. I chuckled darkly and that seemed to unnerve him.

“As you wish.”



how exactly did i find myself in this position? i couldn’t deny i liked it though. most of my thoughts went to oblivion, the only ones that stayed was that patience was so beautiful and the plea that she wouldn’t stop rolling her hips and pleasing herself.

“Didn’t know you were such a little beggar.” patience laughed lightly. was that out loud? i didn’t care.  words were spewing out of my soul and they were all for her.

“mmm… never stop… so… good… beautiful…” i panted as my words got muddled. i didn’t want to take my eyes off her. she was so warm, so wet and … getting so desperate. the sloppy wet noises of her impaling herself on me drove me crazy, even more so than her mouth. the little gasps she made was music to my ears. i already felt like i was melting, but in a good way. warm, slowly, losing the battle of movement. i tried to jerk upward in time with her coming down on me every once in a while to go in deeper, just to try to prolong that feeling. “…i… love you…” i grunted.

“Good boy… I love… you too.” patience panted back. even though i was covered in sweat and drool, she still wrapped her hands around my skull and kissed me again. i couldn’t ask for better. i deserved worse.

No you Don’t.

the negative thought was dashed fast by warmth and love as i watched the tiny tendrils tighten.

“they-they felt…” i stuttered.

“Shh…” patience hushed me and stopped for a moment. i whined at the loss of friction as she pulled my hands under her shirt to the bare skin of her sides. she started a moment after putting her hands on my shoulders, using them as leverage.

“sweeeetheeart…” i drawled, my phalanges squeezed into her soft warm flesh, but not too hard to leave marks.

“Quiet, Sans.” patience commanded, strained. her wonderfully toned, but plush muscles kept moving, still impaling herself on me. she was thinner than when i first met her, but she was still filled out. limited food and danger kept her this way, because only the strong survived and even without me or papyrus, she was strong. pretty damn kind, but she knew what she had to do.

“pay?” she focused on my voice, because the tone had changed.


“when… this is… over… more… safe, i-i…” i struggled to get the words out. “i-i want… more’n… jus’ one…”

“One thing… at a time… ya dope.” she smiled.

“then where’s… the fun… in being… fucked?” i smirked. she looked confused until my hands lifted up her shirt and i started kneading one of her breasts and suckling the other one with my tongue. she stopped.

“I didn’t tell you to do that.” her eyes flashed.

“what’re ya do ‘bout it?” i asked. shcop! she lifted herself off me and let my dick pop out with a disgustingly satisfying, sloppy, wet sound.

“Have a taste.” i started to move, so i could lean down because she wasn’t getting up. “No. Right here.” she wrapped her arms around my cervical vertebrae and leaned back on my lap, opening her legs wider, giving me a naughty look. “Of, course, if that’s too hard for you, we could move to the bed.” i growled in response and opened my mouth, letting magic take form in a larger quantity and a much more dexterous tongue, flopped out of my mouth. her eyes widened at the thickness and i chuckled, lightly flicking her folds. she flinched a little at the touch.

“can ya take it?” i asked deeply, still laughing, but she quickly regained her composure and stubbornness.

“Not only will I, but I want it.” how did she turn this game against me so well? she pulled me a little bit, and instinctively, i let my tongue plunge into her, twisting it every so often. she leaned forward a bit and we ended up touching foreheads. i looked up at her, feeling her hot ragged breaths on my face. she squirmed to my pleasure.

“mmm hmm hmm…” i half growled, half chuckled and sending vibrations down my appendage. she made little sounds, biting her lip and, writhing a little more. “cum fer me, sweetheart. lemme taste you.”

“…no…” she gasped out.

no? i was stunned she even said it, simple and flat out.

“no, huh? i’m gonna make you wish you didn’t say that.” i whispered. red caught my eye, much more. i was fired up. i was determined. i curled and twisted my tongue deeper into her, all the way to her cervix. in any other situation i would’ve pressed further into her womb to shut her up over the unnatural feeling of a foreign mass there, but not now. i didn’t want to run the risk of shattering our kid.

“…Saaaaans! No!”

“sans yes.” i grinned in finality. i was going to make her unable to think or move, at least, that was the plan, until i froze when a hand went up my spine. “holy- fuck!” my tongue retracted from lack of focus as feather light touches went further and further up. my bones rattled as she hovered near the particular vertebrae that made me collapse in a pile. “please…” i huffed.

“Oh, what, now you want more? I guess you’re regretting acting out on me.” all of my thoughts left me and my chest heaved. she was so close. “No mercy.” she smiled as i whined. she stayed far away enough to bring this to white hot, delicious torture. she started humming and with her other hand, plucked our bonds. i couldn’t focus though, it was just noise to me. finally, she rubbed the vertebrae behind my soul and any tension in my body relaxed and tensed at the same time. i couldn’t move after that, i could barely think. she laid back, making sure i had a full view of her and that i was watching. then she masturbated herself the rest of the way, until her dripping pussy convulsed. she moaned under own hand and i instantly felt cheated. i worked hard on getting her there… only to just see the results instead of feel them? she laughed at my unamused face. “That was your punishment. Now hold me ya bag of bones.” she snuggled on my body, still propped up by the wall. “You aren’t that mad at me, are you?” patience asked.

“no.” i said, just realizing i was still growling low enough to send vibrations through my sternum.

“I’m going to get dinner and bring it back up here. That was… intense. Are you sure you’re ok?” patience asked.

“i’m alright, pay, i’m jus’ not used ta bein’ denied like that.” i told her.

“I know. It won’t happen often.” she assured me, lifting me shakily with her magic and setting me on the bed. she gave me a small kiss, before leaving the room for i don’t know how long. i was half asleep. she sweetly spoon fed me until i woke up all the way.

“sweetheart, you know i love ya right?” i asked.

“Mmm hmm.” she hummed. “You say everyday.”

“jus’ wanna make sure ya know fer all the stuff i do.” i said softly. she rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Go to sleep, ya big softie, I’ll be with you in another minute.”

“m’alright.” i yawned, closing my eyes. i was paranoid until patience’s warm flesh squeezed up against me and her scent flooded my senses. i sighed and fell into the deep sleep i now felt comfortable in.

Chapter Text

“Steady…” I told Fuku.

“I’m trying!” She was frustrated. Sweat poured off my brow.

“Don’t you dare!” I yelled at her, sensing the spike in her magic. “Steady!” she started crackling angrily at me.

“I can’t hold it!”

“Ok, stop.” I breathed. “Let’s take a break.”

“Finnally!” Fuku sighed. I had been teaching Fuku to focus in Hotland. She was tasked with melting boulders as I helped motivate her. I panted and walked over to the water cooler to get some water. It was hot work.

“You’re getting better. Now you need to be in that mindset, not just me egging you on.” I sighed after gulping down the water. Something was off. I could feel my stomach twist into a knot. “I don’t think we should practice much more. Were you getting angry at me?” I asked.

“Oh, well, I was frustrated, and I channeled that…” Fuku said.

“Well, you can hold that amount of magic steady for almost an hour now before you start to get that way. Don’t get impatient over that.” I told her and she laughed.

“I don’t get impatient for long amounts of time. You know that.” she puffed out smoke from her hair. She was tired. I caught a shadow from the corner of my eye, but sensed nothing bad, so I ignored it.

“I know. I don’t either, but once you get frustrated like that, that’s when you hold back to channel it, that way if you’re in serious trouble, you can surprise them without warning.” I told her.

“Do you know any hand to hand combat?” Fuku asked.

“Not really. If it comes to that, Sans and I usually work together by then. He’d used gravity on me the exact moment I start a drop kick and that dissuades pretty much anyone from messing with us, then I’d move back and keep going with everything I had. I can’t really be put into a corner.” I explained.

“How do you know Sans is always going to be there? He’s not exactly one who likes to stick around the same person.” Fuku asked. “I should know with the amount of people he used to take to the bar with him.”

“He has his reasons. Since my magic is similar to his, he knows I can hunt him down. I bring in gold to the household. Then there’s the deal with Papyrus and how I have the guts to toss him. Plus, I fulfill every depraved thought he has.” I counted out on my fingers. “Yeah, I think he’s happy the way things are right now.” I smiled as Fuku gave me a look like she didn’t believe me. “Don’t worry. He’s as good as dusted if he does anything wrong.” I rolled my eyes at the thought. “But honestly, I told him, if he wants to leave me at any time, he’d better break it off before he starts seeing other people.” I scoffed.

“What about you?” Fuku asked. “Do you like being with Sans?”

“If only you knew.” I laughed, thinking about my travels.

“Then tell me.” Fuku demanded lightly, smiling.

“That skeleton can bone. Anything you can think of, he can do. He can be rough though. I don’t mind it, because just one tug on his collar and he knows to lighten up.” I blinked. “Sounds like I have him trained.” Both of us laughed, reaching the entrance of Waterfall.

“you got me trained pretty damn well.” I stiffened at the growl and Fuku looked a little freaked out, immediately turning as fast as I did.

“How much did you hear?” I asked as his pupils gleamed a dangerous red.

“most a it. i can bone, huh? tell me more.” Sans smirked. I sighed, my cheeks started to burn.

“I have to make sure Fuku gets home first.” I avoided his demand.

“Thought she wanted ta ‘ear it anyway.” Sans laughed

“It’s called girl talk for a reason.” Fuku narrowed her eyes.

“guess ya do have some spark.” Sans snickered. Fuku crackled, laughing and smiled deviously. “shit! i ain’t made fer target practice!” he yelled as she threw fireballs at him. I laughed, knowing he’d dodge them all and if he was smart, leave. He didn’t. Fuku’s flames hissed from hitting water and I noticed that the shadow had followed us again.

“Alright, c’mon. I would like him in one piece.” I told Fuku.

“Fine. But only because you asked.” Fuku joked, her brilliant light mixing in with the softness of the flowers, mushrooms and crystals. She didn’t look out of place here, besides being made out of fire. I squeaked as Sans grabbed my ass from a calculated teleport behind me.

“Damn it, Sans!”

“heh, heh. you know what time it is when yer done, right?” Sans chuckled darkly and I sighed.

“Why don’t you just go masturbate while you wait?” I said snarkily.

“bonezone doesn’t wanna wait.” The low rumble of his voice vibrated down my spine.

“It’s going to.” I growled back, swatting his hand away because it lingered.

“i like it when ya fight back like this.” Sans laughed again, his hands starting to trail up my body despite the swat.

“You need me to help you there, Patience?” It looked like Fuku was debating on it and raising a brow.

“He’s about to have a hand up his spine.” I spat and he backed off a bit. “Good boy.” I smirked.

“heh, heh, heh. you know i’m jokin’, sweetheart. ‘least ‘bout everything ‘cept when yer done.” He said good-naturedly, softening up a bit. Fuku looked surprised.

“You- He- How did you do that? He doesn’t back off so easily!” Fuku exclaimed.

“it’s called changin’. you should try it sometime miss hotstuff. ya might not incinerate so many people.” Sans smirked.

“Fuck off!”

“jus’ some advice from yours truly.” Sans shrugged, then gave me a small nuzzle on the cheek. The amount of disgust that went over Fuku’s face was priceless.

“Who knew he was affectionate?” I shrugged, laughing.

“I’m just… it was… how?!? I’m leaving. You don’t have to walk me through Snowdin.” Fuku spluttered, walking fast.

“now that we scared ‘er away…” Sans trailed off, watching her retreating glow.

“Hold your horses, buddy.” I laughed again, stepping away. “You aren’t thinking here and now, right?” Sans didn’t respond. Confused at his sudden stillness, I was about to step forward to touch him, when another hand gripped my shoulder.

“don’t move.”

“Century?” I asked as he came around from behind in the same black jacket and jeans. “What are you doing here?”

“checking up on you… my brother was insistent, due to the last time i spilt a soul, but you seem to be doing very well, may i?” His hand fluttered over my abdomen as he smiled.

“Sure.” I nodded and he pressed his hand.

“you’re going to be a wonderful mother. they’re very happy, though standoffish towards me.” He laughed, but looked longingly at me. “i need to show you and him something. however, i don’t want to be seen by him.”

“Do you need me to do something?” I asked.

“well first, he doesn’t need these as much as i do.” Century pulled out a pack of cigarettes from Sans’s jacket. He quickly lit one and inhaled. “you don’t know how much i needed that.” he sighed, the smoke blowing through his teeth. I rolled my eyes.

“What do you want to show me?” I asked.

“i’ll meet you in the last corridor.” Century said shortly, walking behind me. Time resumed and Sans unfroze as I did a one-eighty, looking for Century.

“what’s goin’ on?” Sans asked.

“We need to go.” I said, turning around again, walking towards Hotland again.

“where’re you goin’ now? home’s that way.” Sans pointed towards Snowdin.

“Something tells me we need to go to the judgement hall.” I told him. Then his face hardened and his pupils disappeared as he growled.

“it’s time ta do my job. yer stayin’ ‘ere.” Sans told me.

“No! Sans. If it’s a regular monster, I promise I’ll leave, but if it’s who I think it is, he wants to show us something.” I pleaded.

“who do ya think it is?” Sans demanded.

“It’s Century.” I told him.

“fine. if it ain’t him, yer leavin’. i don’t want ya seein’ this.” Sans told me, knowing he wouldn’t stop me.



“come out! i know yer ‘ere!” i called from the far side of the corridor. all of the sudden, i was in the room beyond the throne room, patience next to me. “what the-?”

“Shh…” patience hushed me. “He got us past Asgore. Century wants us to go to the barrier.”

“how’re we gettin’ back?” i asked.

“Same way. Century’s watching us, don’t worry. He said he has time to spare.” patience said easily. she walked up and put her hand on the barrier and it phased through. only partway, but further than anyone had gotten. i did the same and got just as far as she did. i felt the resistance. it felt like there was weight all around my hand.

“no one’s ever gone through this far, pay!” i exclaimed, excited.

“I know. Way back when, I couldn’t go any further through it than anyone else. It felt like glass.” she smiled, then held out her hand. “I think we should try it together.” patience said.

“yeah.” i grasped her hand and we struggled through the barrier, but made it to the other side. it was as if i was in a dream. i heard nothing as i looked up walking out of the cave, but i couldn’t take my eyes off the darkened sky.

“Sans! We’re free!” patience giggled as the world seemed to fall out from beneath me. she laughed again, twirling in the white skirt she had on. “sans?” she kneeled as close as she could get and started wiping the tears i didn’t even realize i had. i grabbed ahold of her and started laughing.

“i can die happy now.” i chuckled softly and she joined in. “pay…” i trailed off looking up at the glimmering specks of light. it was so dark, that the milky way lit up brightly across. they were so beautiful.

“You said you always loved the stars. That’s why you started the telescope business.” patience said, looking up with me.

“i got somethin’ better’n stars. somethin’ brighter.” i pulled patience onto my lap. she leaned back on me and looked up in confusion. “i gotta family.” my hands circled her waist and i rubbed her abdomen where the kid was lovingly as she put her hands over mine and felt her hands latch down on mine as if bound to them a moment later. i looked over patience’s shoulder, just as surprised as her to see two burning white tendrils. after my surprise, i chuckled, recovering faster than patience. “i think they like the stars too.” she laughed at that too.

“Yeah. Now that I’ve been down there so long, I really appreciate this view… I don’t know what waits for me out here, but…” patience trailed off.

“we gotta go back, sweetheart. i’ll be dusted. humans will assume i’m dangerous just be the way i look. i am, but that ain’t the point. point is, i’d rather have more’n one dangerous lookin’ monster out ‘ere ta prove i ain’t the scariest one of ‘em all.”

“But Sans-”    

“i can’t leave my one important job. not while the barrier’s up. i can’t leave papyrus, not without his permission. i promised ‘im. but if things go ta shit, and they could, we gotta get you and that one outta there. i’ll stay with ya if they aren’t born yet, but i need ta go back fer the sake of makin’ sure the rest of ‘em don’t come out ‘til they’re ready.” i explained.

“Even if it goes sour, I want to go back. It’s likely I have unfinished work down there myself.” boy was she determined about that.

“we’ll see ‘bout it, sweetheart. if it calms down, i ain’t gonna stop ya.” i laughed. “that’s kinda selfish a me though…” i trailed off. the silence turned ripe as we stared at the stars, pointing out the streaks of shooting ones.

“You could lay low and I could go into town. I can pretend I have amnesia, and if Destiny’s family wants to believe I’m her, I could tell them to call me Patience. Then I could get a secluded house and we can live-”

“it’s a nice thought an’ all, patience, but there’s more waitin’ down there fer me than up ‘ere.” i squeezed her tighter, burying my face in the side of her neck.

“You’re… scared. You’re not alone, Sans. I’m here, we’re here.” in truth, i was terrified of the thought. not only if we actually left would i be considered dangerous, but my kid, chances were, would grow up and very possibly be picked on for being different… and it wasn’t a matter if something would happen, but when, where in the underground, it wouldn’t be looked at twice, even if it was brutal.

“we gotta wait.” i insisted.

“You’re right.” patience sighed. “It is nice to think about. Us, them, cozy and safe under the stars. No more anything, but being happy.”

“no more experiments, no more judgin’, no more corruption. everything jus’ stayin’ still like this. promise me somethin’, pay.” i looked at her straight in the face.

“What?” she asked skeptically.

“make sure all a our kids get ta see this if i can’t show ‘em.”

“Sans! I thought we agreed-” 

“when the corruption’s gone. not necessarily the barrier.” i clarified.

“Just how many kids are you planning on having with me?” patience asked accusingly, but smiling.

“i, uh, i dunno.” i sputtered. “i-i jus’ thought a few…” my cheeks heated as she laughed. “look, if you don’t wanna carry ‘em, the only thing you gotta do is swallow the vessel and bond with me!”

“You’re cute when you do this.” she laughed softly. “But I don’t mind this at all. I’m the less likely of the two of us to do something so stupid to lose a child and I have shields if I need them. Or did you want to carry one?” patience asked.

“if you got tired of it, i would… not everyone can do that, even down ‘ere.” i looked behind me, towards the mouth of the cavern that went down and housed all of monsterkind. a yellow glimmer shrouded  by a haze awaited us. “that yer friend?” i asked.

“…he kinda can’t get out either… he knew we were going to come back…” patience trailed off, confirming the large soul i saw from far off.

“let’s go.” i got back up. “‘m sure he has places ta be.” i looked up one last time before the darkness of the cave swallowed us again. hand in hand we walked right back through the barrier as if it was nothing as the other guy retreated from my sight.

“Ready this time?” patience whispered. before i could nod, we were back in the last corridor, patience next to me.

“what the hell does that guy do?” i asked, dizzy from the displacement.

“We do space, he does time.” patience smiled. “He said goodbye and that he’ll try not to bother us.”

“jeez, he coulda shown ‘imself.” i muttered, reaching for my pack of cigarettes, only to find the pocket empty. “damn it! where the hell are they? i jus’ got a new pack!” patience giggled.

“I forgot to tell you, but he considers that payment for showing us we can cross the barrier.”

“fuckin’ bum.” i grumbled, but in reality, it was more than a fair trade. i guess i’d have to make do, just like all the other times.

Chapter Text

I hummed happily as I walked down the trail towards the ruins, making sure to say hi to Gyftrot. He huffed, nodding at me and I took off some tinsel on his tail.

“There you go. You really have to watch out for Snowdrake.” I told him before he walked away a bit more cheerfully. The snow crunched under my feet and I waved to Greater dog and Lessor dog, who were digging in the snow. They yipped happily, recognizing me.

“Hello, Patience!” Dogaressa smiled.

“I don’t have a bone to throw for you guys today, sorry.” I winked.

“We’ll be alright.” Dogamy chuckled, throwing his hood up. I just avoided Doggo by teleporting around his post… he got out of hand when he saw anything. I kept going, humming cheerfully, surprised I found an empty post. He said he’d be here today… I looked all over, but couldn’t find my skeleton.

“so sweetheart, what’s a little human like you doin’ out ‘ere in the cold?” I squeaked as I was swept up from behind. He laughed. “don’t be ‘fraid, ‘m only a big bad monster.”

Suddenly I felt something, a gut feeling maybe? No, the baby was trying to tell me something. It fluttered against what it could touch in alarm.

“hey, pay, ya feel that one? wonder if it was that century guy again.” Sans asked.

“Yeah, they felt it too.” I said, clutching my abdomen. “It wasn’t Century, it couldn’tve been. He was just here and said he wouldn’t bother us unless it was important.”

We walked further, and the trees that obscured our view thinned. It was a thin, but well-built man with bright, orange hair with black highlights, as if it were on fire and in some sort of what I could only describe as combat attire with a gruesomely ripped up, bleeding torso that I revolted at seeing, hiding behind Sans.

“what the fuck!? another human and it has another one that somehow isn’t broken? the hell happened ‘ere?” Sans growled, gritting his shark-like teeth. He didn’t like the fact we could see both of their souls instead of one. The man turned around, hearing our voices, looking curiously and confused at us with clear blue eyes, one overlaid with an orange lens like device that stuck behind his ear.

“God not you, I seen three times. It not been fortnight.” He pointed at me and shivered. “Hate cold.” His voice was raspy and thick with an accent I didn’t recognize.

“What are you gonna do Sans? He made it past her.” I pointed at the ruins. “No one makes it past her.”

“pay, ‘e made it past like you did. by not fallin’. ‘e travels, like you did. ‘e doesn’t smell like ‘er. get back ‘ere.” he demanded and I rushed behind the well-made sentry post. “whatdaya want, human? i can probably tell ya it ain’t ‘ere.”

“Need find way kill this.” He held up the blob of flesh. “Really want out of cold…” the man looked past us in sudden interest. Then he charged at me and he tried to tackle me, but realizing the danger, I wasn’t there to tackle. “Down!” A tree flew out of nowhere over our heads, and he got back up and he ran into the direction that the tree came from. “mhehzmwgsp dm clal hqla xls!”

“whadaya think you’re doin’!? ya gonna get killed!” The man continued to run at Gyftrot, who had suddenly appeared, kicking long dead trees down and tossing them with his horns. Whatever that feeling was must’ve spooked him too. The man suddenly jumped up and punched Gyftrot in the eye killing him in one blow, his decorations and gold falling to the ground. I felt sick watching him crumble. Gyftrot only had three quarters of his HP. “well, that ain’t gonna sit well.” Sans murmured. “AND they’re gonna blame me! damn it, meat sack! i’m on the clock!” he yelled, his eye lighting up. The man turned around and walked up to Sans. Sans stood defiantly, ready to defend me if he had to.

“Listen skelly! Where from it either kill or be killed and I be honest, I thought deer could take hit with easy.”  he jabbed a finger at Sans, his English getting slightly better.

“that’s the rules ‘round here too… unless you’re TRYING TO FIX THINGS!” Sans roared at him, then rubbed his phalanges against his forehead with a small clacking sound of bone on bone.

“That was something you trying to fix?” he asked, looking guilty.

“yeah and ya just killed ‘im.” Sans told him angrily.

“I sorry about that, I did not know.” He looked over Sans oddly, as if wondering something. “I curious, are you related to a six foot skelly that has eye like yours?” the man asked, his thick accent making us pause to understand him.

“Oh! You mean Century! Well, uh, he left me here about five months ago. I wanted to be here. You kinda just missed him checking on us.” I piped up. “You’ve met him? He gets around.” I smiled

“pay! now’s not the time. and no. never met the guy.” Sans glowered.

“Sans, he’s not corrupted. And by the way, I was almost done healing Gyftrot, all that was done for nothing! His life was… wasted…” I said sadly, looking at his dust.

“Pay, is that short for Patience? And I am sorry about that, it is natural instinct for me to go after danger and stop it.” he apologized, looking with me.

“how the fuck do you know ‘er name?” Sans was pissed. It was going to take a lot to convince him, but I saw the guilt in this man’s eyes. He never meant to kill anyone.

“I met her twice in my bar two different variants of her, one was a bitch in a hospital gown and the other one was with a fellow named Century.” He replied.

“You met Red and Yellow! Good, you must’ve passed if Yellow didn’t disintegrate you!” I smiled.

“pay, he’s holding a corpse that’s somehow not dead, his EXP is through the roof and the corpse’s LV is even worse.” Sans growled, still in his defensive position. I looked again and while the orange haired man did have a lot of EXP, his LV was kind of low for the amount, but the torso… I didn’t even want to look at it.

“Him?” the man pointed to the obviously human torso. Again, I felt sick just looking at it as if my very soul was twisting painfully. “This man went through a wormhole, unprotected, and it wreaks havoc of biological matter.” He told us as if he was a teacher.

“only if it’s done wrong…” Sans grumbled back.

“That was done on purpose though, I thought I could kill him like that.” he retorted “Besides this man killed too many people for me to let him live.” The torso regained a head to our surprise.

“Zaglebn dhfa meb dhf bgnn sh kmd m zgeb lgnn G Ned!” the man pulled out a pistol and casually shot the torso’s head off to my shock.

“Yeah, as if I let you get near my family.” I recoiled further behind a stunned Sans in horror. “Right, sorry, probably shouldn’t have done that in front of the mother to be, sorry about that.” the man put his hand with the gun still in it behind his head sheepishly. “Weird though, you weren't with child the last two times I talked to ya and definitely not this far along.” He tilted his head. “So, um… congratulations… Um, all I got are some survival rations for a gift, I’d offer ya some orange wind, but you’re kinda pregnant.” He turned to see my wall of bones already going through his bag while I was surprised and held my abdomen again as if protecting the small soul.

“what the fuck is this stuff? advanced tech?” Sans asked, his arms deep into the biggest pocket as he rummaged around.

“First, tell me what year is it, then tell me your name, and then I’ll think about telling ya what some of that stuff is.” He turned back at Sans, after taking his pack and keeping it out of reach.

“Well, it’s definitely past 210XV.” I said, helpfully.

“we don’t keep track. who would in hell?” Sans snickered. “name’s sans. sans the skeleton.” Oh, no. I knew that shpeal. Sans was going to zap him. He held out his hand to shake as I froze, waiting for it. The man took Sans’s hand without a problem and Sans pouted. “damn thing ain’t working!” He muttered. The man only smiled.

“Well, if I don’t have an approximate year I can’t really explain to ya what the tech in here does. Might corrupt the timeline.” He patted his backpack.

“buddy, this timeline is already corrupted as it is.” Sans grumbled.

“Buddy, if the tech in my pack is created now, it’ll rip this timeline a new asshole and I don’t know if this is my timeline or not.” he sassed Sans, crossing his arms, taking advantage of the few inches he had on us.

“Sans, he’s not trying to kill us yet. Calm down, you’re scaring ‘em. They’re doing somersaults and building up magic just in case again.” I warned him, holding onto my stomach, feeling woozy.

“shit, right. they’re taking up form soon.” He blinked, his one eye fading into his normal white pinpricks.

“You, be careful around here. If you went through a wormhole, it’s probable you’re not in the same timeline or universe. Oh, and we’re trying not to kill anyone, no matter how murdery they are. They were decent… once.” Sans teleported again, this time behind me and started rubbing my stomach soothingly. “Most of them won’t even realize you’re human, but when they do, it means both me and the little one are in jeopardy. How did you even know I was pregnant? Only Sans and one other monster knows.” I asked calmly. The tone of my voice was laced with soothing magic to calm the tenseness between everyone here.   

“I could smell it, humans literally broadcast their pregnancies though pheromones. I just have a really good sense of smell.” The man told me as he starts to jump up and down. “As for me killing that deer thing, I was only going to wound it, the gravity here is different than at home, there’s less of it, so I’m stronger than I thought, not by much, but it was enough to turn a crippling blow to a killing blow.”

“’e already fucked up royally.” Sans grumbled again.

“Hey, I'll make sure this isn't put on you. I gotta go back to work. The shopkeeper wants me back soon.” I told Sans, giving him a hug and he nuzzled me in response.

“careful, sweetheart.” He warned me, then turned to the stranger. “you hurt ‘er and I will hunt you down.” Sans threatened him, drawing a single finger across his neck vertebrae.

“Don’t mind him, unless you’re actually planning…” I trailed off laughing nervously and cleared my throat. “Town’s this way if you wanna follow. Take the gold, you're gonna need it down here if you need anything.” I rose the dusty snow and decorations in my familiar green hue, revealing some of the gold that dropped. The man walked over to the decorations, picked up the gold and we left Sans burning a piercing gaze at our backs from his post. “So, first thing’s first. Who are you? And please tell me the portal you went through had nothing to do with Red me and Error.” I sighed, shivering at the brief thought.

“My name is Ned Hunter and I’m more or less a mercenary, from another planet that has tech from what I can tell, is beyond this world’s current capability, and no, the wormhole that I came through was generated by this man.” Ned held up the torso. “Dumb ass thought his device would cause a black hole.” I made a face at the torso, feeling another twist of uneasiness and then started laughing at the stupidity.

“You need enough energy to collapse an entire universe to create a black hole artificially and even then, you can't control it!” I snorted.

“That’s what I told him, did he listen? Nope. But yeah, I took his ‘black hole’ device, rewired it and made a wormhole generator.” Ned shrugged.

“Well, the mercenary thing takes care of why you have so many Execution Points and how your LOVE isn't as high as it should be. My kid's not freaking out, so… there's that…” I trailed off, thinking.

“Kids, for some reason or another, like me. I have no idea why.” Ned replies and I sighed.

“It's been awhile since I've seen another human who isn't me…” I told him softly. “Don't say the ‘h' word too often though.” I doubled back, warning him.

“If human is a bad word down here, then call me mutate, it’s closer to the truth. It’s cold, can I pay ya for room and board until I find a way to kill this thing and find a way home?” Ned kept shivering, rubbing the sleeves of his combat attire.

“It's not that bad it's just snow… oh, right… uh, you can’t use magic…” I laughed nervously. “I’ll see what I can do about that, but, uh, are you sure about that? Sans’s brother isn't as nearly as nice as him and if you dust him… you're as good as dead.” I told him. “Honestly, I wouldn't know if our couch would be safer than the inn and that place is pretty seedy.”

“The only reason I attacked the deer thing was because I thought it was a danger to others, and I honestly would rather not spend a few nights at an inn.” Ned insisted.

“To tell you the truth you only have enough gold to stay one night. The inn lady and the shopkeeper are brutal business owners… especially if you’re new to town.” I winced.

“Its up to you, but if you’re one of my species, I can at least cook food that suits our needs, I can also construct buildings and other things.” Ned offered

“I'm neither human nor monster anymore. I'm not made of biological matter. I'm made up of pure energy. Like that poor fella you dusted.” I smiled sadly, looking down at my hands and flexing them. “I'm not quite sure what to call myself, but I do still have my soul.” I hushed down and looked around quickly, hearing some twigs snapping. “More sentries. Don't worry, just keep walking, they know me.” Ned followed me closely.

“You still emit human pheromones, do you still have a desire to eat human food?” Ned asked. It was a good question, but considering the circumstances…

“Haven't eaten it in years, I think. Probably not best for them.” I rubbed my abdomen again, smiling.

“Fair point, but still, from what I have found out from your doppelgangers, food and beverage prepared by a human incapable of magic holds magical properties, which I gather you’re made up of.” He shrugged again.

“Yep. Boy, you grab the concept fast.” I stopped. This was as good a place as any. I lowered the decorations and dusty snow following us to the ground. I also pulled a long dead tree trunk making it fall over the decorations. “Good thing the justice system here is shotty at best.” I said dryly.

“Justice system?” he questioned, looking confused.

“I don't think you wanna know. It's complicated.” I sighed again.

“I’ll settle for that.” We continued down the snowy path, as light flakes drifted down from above, dotting our hair.

“Come on, quickly, once they find his dust they’re going to look out for anyone passing by and they might try to kill you for it. You’re dusty.” I told him, noticing residual smears on his hands.

“Dusty? Maybe it’s a good idea to figure out how to restrain my strength until I figure out how things work around here. Tell me, do you have any mercury?” Ned asked.

“There might be some in Sans’s workshop, if not, I could take you to the lab to get some, but that’s pretty far ahead, and I still have another shift at the bar after the shop. We’re working our butts off for this kid.” I explained.

“Well, I’m going to need to make some mercury weights until I’ve gotten used to this gravity.” He jumped again as if to prove his point.

“Alright, let me stop here, and hopefully I can show you in.” I pointed to the shop and darted in. “Hey, Pearl, I’m so sorry to ask, but, uh,” I looked outside, back at Ned. “Can I have five more minutes? I need to help out someone, I promise, I’ll be back.” I pleaded. The shopkeeper raised an eyebrow.

“Since you’re my best worker, I guess, but you better be back.” the short little bunny lady glared daggers at me for leaving again.

“Ok, I have five minutes. You might feel a little nauseous.” I rushed out and grabbed Ned’s arm, pulling him into the Void and back out again in Sans’s small workshop. He was so cold, it alarmed me, but a quick check said his organs were functioning only a little slower than normal. Ned looked around and then set down the blob of flesh that he was carrying around, as I was looked through a few drawers. “We’ve only got a little. How does about sixteen ounces sound?” I asked, handing him the vial.  

“That should work for now, thank you.” he nodded, and I was kind of startled to hear those words in a genuine sense.

“You’re welcome. I don’t hear that often.” I chuckled. “Are you feeling alright?” I asked, concerned if he was feeling nauseous or too cold.

“Just because my soul is black, doesn't mean I can’t have manners.” He told me, starting to rummage around in his bag.

“It’s not black, it’s purple! A little dark, but a nice shade never less. It means Perseverance. You keep going, no matter what happens. You can’t lie to these eyes, not only am I pregnant, but everything about me relaxes others enough for me to see. It’s what true Kindness does.” I insisted. It was there. A deep shade of purple, rich, but glowing bright for the dark shade. Ned pulled out a tool surrounded with test tubes from his pack that looked completely alien in nature.

“Well, the deeper the shade of purple, the closer it gets to black. As for relaxing others, it didn’t really affect me.” I frowned. I had taken care of the situation. I saw his body language relax, but granted, only after Sans did ever so slightly. Ned pulled out another test tube from his bag and he poured the mercury into it. He then loaded the test tube into a slot on the tool. “And now for a little juice.” Ned looked around. “What is the normal power source you have around here?” he asked.

“Electricity or a spark of magic, whichever you think is easiest.” I told him. Ned pulled out a square of a weird material with a wire and set down the plate. He took off his boots and stood on it barefoot.

“Zap me.” he smirked and I looked at him weird.

“Doesn’t quite work like that with me, but alright.” I told him and lifted a hand in pseudo green flame, my magic pooling before I pressed my hand into his chest. I took this to my advantage and started a more thorough check over him, which confirmed my quick check, however now, his organs were starting to move faster to normal.

“Well, this feels different.” He commented as I felt my magic flow down his skin and into the plate, making the machine hum to life. More liquid mercury flowed into multiple test tubes housed around the tool.

“It’s not supposed to feel unpleasant. I’m a healer of sorts. If I’m going to zap you, I’d rather not try to hurt you.” I told him. “Also not a good thing to broadcast.” I added quickly.

“That's good to remember.” The machine dinged, curiously producing about two more gallons of liquid mercury. “Looks like the element synthesizer is done.” I withdrew from Ned, taking this as a cue. “Thanks again for the juice, now I gotta make the weights.” He looked around the workshop again. “Is there anything I shouldn’t touch?”

“You’re welcome to any of the tools, just don’t touch the machine over there… it has sentimental value to Sans and don’t concoct any explosions.” I warned him.

“That looks like a matter converter. Primitive in nature, but a matter converter nonetheless.” Ned inspected it.

“I’m not sure what it does or why he made it, but he did. He says it’ll make our lives easier later when he gets it working right.” I said. Ned grabbed some paper out of his backpack and a pen, then he started drawing. “Will you be alright here for now? I have to get back before I’m fired. Sans will be back here soon.” I said.

“Um, yes, thank you again. I should be fine here, I got the mercury I need for what I want and I have paper to draw up blueprints. I shouldn’t need too many of your tools and that machine in the back intrigues me. I’m not going to touch it or nothing, but I do want to see how far along it is.” Ned starts to inspect the machine again and wrote down a few things. “This is an impressive piece of work.”

“He might not always look or sound like it, but he’s a nerd.” I smiled.

“I’d call him an inventor at this point.” He scribbled down a few drawings and some notes. “Here, it’s a cruder version of the food synthesizer in my bag, it’s not exactly what this machine’s purpose is, but it’s a step in the right direction for him.” Ned put the papers down at the edge of the work bench and he moved on to the mercury. “Thank you again for letting me use this workshop.” He smiled and my face heated at so many thank you’s.

“No problem.” I left with a dark flash going through the Void.

Chapter Text

i couldn’t stand it any longer it was almost quitting time. i needed a break. no one would care if i left early. i needed to know if she really was alright. i quickly displaced into town and sighed in relief. she was in the shop, just like she was supposed to be.

“’e goin' on ‘is way?” i asked.

“Ned, which is his name by the way, wants to stay on our couch for a while, since apparently, he knows me. Of course, that isn’t up to me, so…” she trailed off, looking at me pleadingly.

“are you fucking kidding me? pay, i don’t think that’s the best idea, set ‘im up next door for asgore’s sake or-”

“He’s already in your workshop right now.” she cut me off.

“motherfucker! what the hell were you thinking?! what did ‘e say fer you ta let ‘im in there? you know i don’t let anybody in there!” i yelled at her.

“He said he wouldn’t touch your machine. He wanted mercury to help, well, not killing other monsters.” she argued. gfytrot was a mistake, but now the next one wouldn't be.

“’e didn’t do anything to ya?” i asked her.

“No, in fact, he’s actually pretty polite, even if his soul looks a little different. It’s the other one I’m worried about.” she shivered. she wasn’t wrong. that type of person was exactly the kind who was on their way to kill me. that thing was just too incapacitated to get to me. but i needed to steel myself if anything happened. it couldn’t be called human anymore, the red head could.

“maybe it’d be a good thing ta keep ‘em close fer now ‘til they leave… dependin’ though. ya think ‘e’s still in my workshop?” i asked.

“Yep. He should still be there.” she confirmed.

“alright, don’t say i didn’t warn ya if anythin’ bad happens. i love ya, sweetheart, see ya when you get offa work.” i squeezed her hand from the other side of the counter, then displaced into my workshop. the first thing i noticed, was new papers covering my bench. “the fuck is this shit?” the guy stopped working on his whatever the hell he had, to find me looking at the blueprints.

“They are schematics.” he told me in an informing manner.

“i can see that. a food synthesizer, huh? sorry, that ain’t what i need in one.” i glowered at the paper. it was pretty well done. too bad it didn’t account for the way i needed to eat.

“It’s a step in the right direction for you, I can’t give you the complete instructions to finish what you're going for because I’m not sure what you’re trying to make.” he said, still in an informative narrative. “All I gathered was that you were trying to make a version of a food synthesizer that would meet the standards for your species.” he looked back at the things he was working on. “So I drew up a crude version of mine in hope that it would help you.” he shrugged in a not really caring way that he was in my space.

“smart guy, huh? eh, i could just look at the royal scientist’s again, but whatever.” i growled.  

“I’m not an atom, I don’t make up everything.” he retorted. “But what’s the point when it’s possibly dangerous and you have a complete schematic that all it could need are some fine-tuned adjustments?” it looked like he was trying to make some sort of strips of material to attach to himself.

“pretty intelligent for a flesh bag…” i growled lowly.

“I guess I am.” he told me, putting in mercury i was sure i didn’t have.

“hey, ain’t mercury toxic ta humans?” i asked as he took off his shirt.

“It is but, when ya got skin like mine all ya gotta worry about is toxic gas, which I already set up filters to eliminate any toxic vapor.” he replied, looking satisfied with his work. he put on the material, applying them to various muscles. each was a one inch, by six inch strip of flexible material, filled with a cup of shining, liquid mercury. he did some jumping jacks to test them out. “Eh, I’ll be slower than normal in these but at least I can control my strength better.” he tells me as he flexes his arms. this fool looked like he was about to compete with aaron.

“what the fuck are you doing, freak?” the grin on his face told me i was about to get it. what do you have up your sleeve?   

“Prepping for my time in bed skelly.” he said with a wink and he blew an air kiss. fuck! ANYTHING, but flirting! i could feel myself start to sweat, trying to splutter a response to that. he just laughed unable to keep a serious face on. “Your face!” he pointed at me. “Your face is priceless.” he gasped for air, laughing. “So worth it.” he regains his composure. “What smells like mustard?” i slowly regained my own shaky composure and pulled out a mustard bottle from my jacket pocket.

“mustard.” i replied and squirted some right into my open jaw. he just stared at me.

“Da fuck?” he started to laugh hysterically again.

“want some?” i asked, picking up my sharp smile again, push that though behind me.

“No thanks.”

“suit yourself.” i laughed at his face when i genuinely offered the bottle.

“Question, is there a hot spring around here?” he asked, looking perplexed.

“there’s an ice river.” i told him, confused.

“Weird, I smell one nearby, that’s going to bug me for a while, worse part is I’m probably gonna need one if I’m going to live in this area for any amount of time.” he crossed his arms and paced a bit.

“well, there ain’t no discovered hot spring nearby, so i dunno what ta tell ya.” i shrugged.

“Interesting, when we were in the forest I didn’t smell a hot spring but now that I’m here…” he looked down. “I wonder… Oh well I’ll figure that out later.” he looked back at me. this was as good a time as any to break him in… or just break him.

“so, pay was tellin’ me you wanted ta stay here…” i started.

“Yeah, I got a wiff of the local inn, no thanks, um... how much do you want for rent?” ned asked

“first off, i barely got ta keep pay in the first place, second, my bro practically owns the place, so i gotta ask ‘im. third ‘e’s a fucking neat freak so, ya ain’t gonna have a good time with that.” i looked around my workbench, looking for several items. all of my tools were organized in a small corner of the bench where ned was working at.

“So in other words, I gotta talk to him and get his ok for it then.”

“yeah, sure. if he doesn’t try ta kill ya first.” i shrugged and rolled my eyes.

“How does he kill people exactly? I’m a merc, remember, this is vital information.” he responded.

“usually impalement. sometimes gravity. depends on what he’s feeling fer the day.” i supplied.

“So nothing I should worry about then.” he shrugged.

“i’m worried ‘bout bein’ impaled. lately, that ain’t the case. pay softened ‘im up for me, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try ta kill other people.” ned walked over to his bag and pulled out an eight inch steel combat knife, then he turned to me and handed me the knife.

“Tell me whatcha think about that knife.” he said. i ran a finger down it, close to the blade. “Careful, it’s tipped with a material similar to obsidian.”

“my finger ain’t gonna get cut. if it does, it’ll only hit bone.” i snickered “that’s some sharp blade. could kill a lotta people in the right hands.” ned took the blade back from me.

“Thank you, I take exceptionally good care of my blades, except for this one.”

“whadaya mean except-” ned twirled the knife in his hand pointing the tip of the blade towards him and plunged the blade toward his gut, between the material on him and the knife shattered from the impact, not leaving a scratch. he held up the hilt and then handed it back to me. i took the knife hilt and inspected it. completely shattered with very little of the actual knife at the hilt, still dangerous, but very broken. ned put his shirt back on. “damn, now that’s defense. whata ya made of metal or something?”

“It’s my skin. It’s sorta like a type of non newtonian fluid. It condenses so that not even quarks can pass through, at the points of any impact making my skin more dense than the object striking my skin. My skin also absorbs energy and changes it to other forms. In other words, if your brother feels stabby-stabby or throws me into a wall, I’ll be just fine.” he grinned.

“yer lucky he’s only knows physical attacks, otherwise i’m gonna have a good time.” i laughed menacingly, giving him full warning i wouldn’t hesitate to shatter his soul.

“That’s assuming I let anything hit me in the first place.” out of the corner of my eye, i saw the torso regenerate it’s head and limbs again. “One second.” ned noticed it too and he drew a pistol and he shot off the man’s legs, then his arms and finally, the head again. “Regeneration powers suck.” he sighed, disgusted at the mess he made.

“maybe fer you, but not that guy.” i kept laughing. “but i dunno. i’m pretty fast myself, otherwise, i woulda been dusted a long time ago.” again, i warned him. i knew i was at the least, a match for just about everything and anyone. if not, i could totally destroy them without so much as moving a muscle.

“Interesting, I’ll make a mental note of that.” ned said thoughtfully.

“oh, one more thing, ‘bout these bozos in town. anyone gives ya trouble ‘round here, give ‘em trouble right back. they ain’t the wisest bunch, so don’t go sticking your nose inta anything, even when it’s me or pay, y’hear? it ain’t ‘bout image, but if people stay away from us, it’s better.” i growled.

“More of a guy that enjoys solitude myself, but if anything I’d probably hunt down the local scientist that specializes in quantum physics and quantum mechanics, and probably a job.” i chuckled as he looked around. you came to the right guy, buddy. “So, um, how am I going to get out?”

“well, with that kinda defense, ya could be a livin’ target.” i smiled. “and the doc ain’t too keen on people. plus he ain’t stupid. he knows what humans look like and pay’s a special case. she came here made a magic and that’s the only reason she’s alive, ‘sides pretty much everyone not knowing what humans look like. you ain’t gettin’ outta ‘ere by normal means…”

“Well, human for me is a stretch, if Doc is as smart as you say he is then he should know that the little stunt that I showed you would kill a normal human.” i snorted. him not human? likely story. even with the skin, it was unmistakable what he was.

“yeah, i got that. but yer soul is a warped one, which means ya were.” i explained to him.

“Here, use your soul sight or whatever you call it, and tell me what ya see.” his face was grim as his soul went from dark purple to pure black. well shit. that should unnerve me, but instead it made my magic boil and pool, ready to defend myself and everything i knew. hate like that was learned. hate like that killed on sight with no remorse. it was just like mine in the last corridor.

“i watched it. i see ‘em pretty much all the time. showing hate like that, ya been through a lot. corruption ain’t got anything on it, but ya changed it, which means it can change back.” my voice came out lower, calmer, and focused on him waiting for the first move to initiate a battle.

“If I show your people that can see souls that, it should tell people to back off, and don’t ask too many questions.” he told me as it slowly changed back to it’s original color.

“sorry ta say, but soul vision ain’t easy. it’s like a lost art er somethin’. i wouldn’t bet on people seeing it well. it’s pretty much jus’ me ‘n one other monster, ‘sides pay.” it would be very well worth it to watch this guy. i didn’t trust him at all.

“Well, regardless, I need to see a scientist about getting that thing killed.” ned pointed at the limbless torso.

“ya came to the right place. but, uh, don’t expect me ta take care of it. i ain’t into execution points or my level of violence like everyone else. ironically, ‘m one a the only ones who probably could kill it.” if i had lips, they would’ve curled in disgust, looking at that thing.

“I wasn’t expecting ya to kill it, best to start setting an example for your others, and that’s where a scientist comes in. I take that thing to a monster studying human anatomy and souls and such, and drop it off there, and make him feel what he did to my family.” his face hardened as he finished talking.

“then, uh, ya might need a disguise. if we run into alphys, she’ll make the new debut of her ‘secret project’ all that closer.” i rolled my eyes. fucking mettaton. “it won’t be pleasant for all a us and it’d be better if i show ya ‘round the core. ya can get lost in there pretty easy and gaster doesn’t like it when someone just bursts in. lots of sensitive equipment.”

“Sounds like home.”

“i ain’t questioning that.” i shrugged.

“Mind showing me to your brother?” he asked.

“yeah, he’ll be home soon. c’mon.” i motioned for him to follow.

“Lead the way.” ned picked up his torso friend and followed me out the door and around to the front door, unlocking it. a menacing rust orange glow filled the darkened room. shit.

“ah, great, he’s home early.”

“SANS! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP BRINGING IN STRAYS!” at the same time, ned was looking around and spotted the cat.

“Hey, look a doombringer.” ned pointed at him. the cat just stretched and yawned on the couch armrest. ned walked up to the cat and started petting it. ”Who’s a cute little doombringer, you are, yes, you are.” papyrus looked offended as the cat started to purr from ned’s attention. i chuckled under my breath.

“TRAITER!” he scooped the cat up, scolding it. “YOUR NAME IS RAZOR AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!”

“Puroew?” the cat protested in his arms.

“AND YOU! HOW DARE MAKE A TRAITER OUT OF RAZOR!” the cat jumped out of his arms and papyrus summoned a run of the mill bone staff to stab ned with. papyrus tried to stab ned with the staff, but failed epically when ned grabbed it with one hand inches away from his chest. ned smiled at him and raised an eyebrow as papyrus tried to move the staff, but it didn't budge.

“hey, boss, e’s gotta offer for ya. ‘e don’t like the inn an’ ‘e offered gold ta stay ‘ere.” i told him, suppressing a laugh from papyrus struggling.

“Yeah, what the other bonehead said, but since you're so hellbent on stabbing me I’ll make ya a deal.” papyrus groaned at the pun as i snickered.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?” he sighed dramatically. 

“Well big guy, here’s the deal; you give me room and board and I can’t dodge out of the way or defend myself against your physical attacks when I’m in your home. However, if you fail to kill me, then I stay here free of charge for another night.” i smirked wordlessly, seeing where this is going.

“NO MORE PUNS AND I’LL ACCEPT YOUR TERMS.” fat chance for that one. my puns were contagious.

“No bones about it?” ned smiled. the staff breaks from papyrus bending it due to rage at the pun. “Oops.”

“buddy, you’re boned.” i laughed and he joined me.


“Come on, man I was only ribbin ya.”

“yeah, boss, we was only tryin’ ta be humerous.” i shrugged as papyrus summoned shattered bone points and they flew at me. i easily dodged by displacing by the stairs.

“Come on, man, tibia honest I was lookin’ forward to seeing what ya got.” ok, not many people could laugh their ass off at papyrus like i could to his face. that was somewhat impressive. he was just playing with him. another staff was thrust at ned. ned caught this one with ease too. “Come on, I thought ya had a little more mass in that cranium of yours, ya gotta put a little more backbone into it.” at this point, i was rolling on the ground, tearing up from the exchange.

“YOU TWO ARE COMPLETE AND UTTERLY USELESS NUMBSKULLS!” that took the cake. ned started to tear up from that pun, i was gasping for air.

“Remember Mr. Bones, your best bet for killing me is to accept my deal,” ned turned to me. “And seriously Sans, you don’t have lungs, how are you gasping for air?” i lifted up my arms in response from the ground and wiggled my fingers. time for the asshole response to explain everything to a human down here.

“magic!” i choked out, continuing to laugh.                                

“So what’s it gonna be, bossman?” he managed to say through laughter.

“boss, free EXP!” i gasped out, trying to make him think ned was going to be an easy kill. the lock clicked open again and everybody froze. oh boy… there was explaining to do… the door suddenly flies against the respective opposite wall as patience walked in. she lifted us all off the ground with an angry look on her face.

“Papyrus! What did I say about bones in the house!?” patience yelled at him immediately, seeing he was the one causing the chaos.

“…the only bone you want to see is the one Sans gives you every night…” he said slowly as i grinned at the admission.

“You lucky SOB.” ned told me. “No bones about it?”

“no bones about it, pal.” he gave me a high five, while patience rolled her eyes.

“It’s a guy thing.” ned laughed.

“I know all about that guy thing.” she retorted.

“But in all seriousness, Patience ya think you can let us down?” ned asked. any other human would’ve been unnerved by that, but i knew he wasn’t just any human now.

“Only if you guys decide to stop tossing bones everywhere.” she sighed, crossing her arms, but letting papyrus and ned drop while setting me down lightly. papyrus and ned landed on their feet.

“Yeah, that’s fair.” ned turned to papyrus. “Well Skeletor? What do ya think about me using your couch?”

“...CAN I STILL STAB YOU?” i sighed. always obsessed will killing others when he could get away with it.

“No, you can’t stab our guest. It’s not-” i shushed her.

“sweetheart, he knows what ‘e’s doin’. trust me.” i smiled, then took her upstairs. “come on, he’s gonna need whatever you do at night.”

“That was part of the deal.” ned put out his hand for a handshake and raised his eyebrows again.


“c’mon.” i growled. papyrus took ned’s hand, shook it once and quickly summoned a bone knife, stabbing at ned, and ended up catching him in the gut. ned recoiled from the blow, bending over, and hiding the shattered bone knife from our view. patience gasped from the top floor, and started to run back down, but i pulled her back.

“Sans! Let me go! He needs help!”

“Don’t worry sweetheart. look again.” I told her.

“YOU FOOL, TAKING A BET, I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, HAVE OBVIOUSLY WON!” he gloated. i laughed at Papyrus. boss, you had it coming. Ned landed on his ass and he sat still, holding his stomach.

“You might want to confirm your kill, dumbass.” ned told him with snark.

“Oh, thank god.” patience sighed, growing limp in my grip.

“CLEARLY YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! WHY ARE YOU TALKING?” ned stood up and he let pieces of the shattered bone knife fall to the ground.

“Looks like night number one, free of charge.” ned said with a smile, getting up.


“Sans!? I need a marker!” he yelled up the stairs. ned turned back and looked at papyrus. “Ok, fine, I’ll prove to you that I didn’t renege out of our deal.” i used my magic to open a drawer in red glow, and let a marker float out for ned to grab. “Lazyass.” i grinned at the remark. good. he knew what i was. better for the surprise.

“knock yourself out, buddy.” i smirked. ned grabbed the marker and he took off his backpack, then his shirt and finally, his mercury filled material stuff.

“Sans, he has more abs than you do.” patience laughed, elbowing me.

“NO MORE TRICKS-” ned cut off papyrus.

“Mutate, is the insult you’re going to be looking for.” ned grinned widely, brimming with confidence.

“guy doesn’t miss a beat.” i snickered. just one more thing that told me to keep him around. this was entertaining. patience just shook her head, smiling.

“QUIET SANS!” boss snapped at me.

“Now Mr. Lackin’-in-the-Coconut, I’m going to make a target on my chest, big enough for you to not miss.” ned drew a big x on his chest spanning from shoulder to lower abdomen to prove his point. “You can hit me anywhere that the X covers.” ned informed papyrus. “Don’t miss.” ned told him in a singsongy, cocky voice. he closed his eyes and turned his head away from papyrus. papyrus narrowed his eye sockets then summoned another sharpened bone staff, jamming it into ned’s chest several times. he didn’t even budge once and the staff shattered again from repeated use against an object that it couldn’t match.

“C’mon, the suspense is gonna kill me before you do.” ned opened one eye, then the other at papyrus and saw the bone shards on the floor. “Oh, you did try.”

“WHY. DON’T. YOU. DUST!?” with every word papyrus hurled more bones at ned. ned casually walked over to the couch with his backpack in hand, not caring about the bones being crushed against him.

“Papyrus, it looks like your end of the bargain was lost. If you’re going to pout about it, go to your room.” patience frowned at him and he flinched.

“...FINE. YOU’RE LUCKY PATIENCE IS HERE.” papyrus glowered, picking up his cat and stomping up the stairs.  

“Thank you for letting me use your couch.” ned told us with a smile. he started rummaging through his backpack and pulled out his eye lens thing, a sleeping bag and a wireless earbud.

“No problem. He’s gonna be a sour puss about it, but he’ll warm up. Don’t mind the noise upstairs, we can get a little....” patience trailed off, blushing and slightly embarrassed.

“loud.” i smiled and finished.

“Well, I got music, you should be fine. Good night, you guys.” ned entered his sleeping bag, and put in his ear buds as we walked into our room.

“So, you’re letting him stay?” patience asked me.

“i gotta, after what i saw. ‘e’s more ‘n a twisted soul.” i told her, taking off my jacket, then sweater. patience ran her hands over my ribcage, bringing up deep rumbles from the depths of my chest.

“You really are getting soft.” patience smirked, curling her fingers under the last rib.

“i ain’t. it’s jus’-” the sensitivity was getting to me and i grunted. “jus’ that, if ya haven’t noticed…” i started to growl and helped her pull her shirt off. “… ‘e ain’t a normal human. now let’s feed that kid.” my red bonds shot eagerly out, reaching for her soul and joined the delicate green ones. patience panted, open mouthed. i slightly opened mine and filled her mouth with my tongue. the bed groaned under our weight as i threw ourselves on it.

“Someone’s eager.” that was one cocky smile i could wipe from her face.

“well, sweetheart, i’m a little pent up righ’ now.” i laughed over her, pulling off her shorts and readjusting mine. my tongue trailed down her stomach, the small white bonds that appeared, brightened and hummed with magic as i got closer to them. the kid’s bonds curled around ours tighter, pulling me down.

“Sans!” i knew what she was asking by her grip on my sides.

“you want me ta fuck you inta the bed?” i asked in her ear.

“Yes!” patience gasped as i prodded her and raked my ribs against her perky nipples.

“yer pretty damn lucky i love you.” i whispered huskily. she was already wet. massaging her clit with my dick probably helped as i rocked myself above her. i plunged into her and started rocking the bed. pay started moaning softly and i must’ve been hitting a spot. i thrusted harder and she cried out, moaning louder.


i stopped, bursting out in laughter from the music, shortly followed by patience.

“I guess that was a good try.” she snorted. “but I don’t think either of us are getting off tonight because of that.” she continued laughing.

“i ain’t even mad!” i gave up trying to hold myself up and rolled to the side. “well, let’s try ta sleep. ‘e fuckin’ ruined the mood…”

Chapter Text

I woke up to the house shaking and a low rumble.

“Sans… let me go…” I said, sleepily.

“…it ain’t late ‘nough…” he snored.

“Yeah, well… something’s shaking the house…”

“’nore it, sweetheart…” he turned over, letting me go. I slipped out of bed, put on one of Sans’s loose red shirts, and walked down the stairs. The cat mewed at me expectantly for attention, he wanted to play.

“Sorry, buddy.” I yawned. “I’m too sleepy.” Another blast shook the house and I steadied the coffee pot. Where was Papyrus to take care of his damn cat? He was always playing with Razor about now. I sighed and poured myself some coffee, taking a sip.  

 “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY HOUSE!?” I heard Papyrus’s muffled voice. It was too early in the morning for this bullshit. I sighed again and filled another cup of coffee. Ned might want some. I walked outside to see what the commotion was, instead to my left there was a huge pile of dirty snow and chunks of rock and a hole.

“Ned, would you like some coffee?” I asked, coming down the stairs. My eyes widened while holding the two cups of coffee. “Wow, you did a number to the place, but it’s not bad.” I looked around at the huge room. Ned again, was shirtless, sweating at the far side of the staircase. It looked like he lit up the place with some spotlights… where he got them, I didn’t know, but whatever. It was still too early in the morning to be questioning things. His “companion” was leaning against another wall and Ned was on his hands and knees, ignoring Papyrus, with his ear on the ground.  

“wuzit?” Sans poked his way through, finally following me a little ways in only his shorts. “ima go back ta sleep.” he slurred sleepily and disappeared with a dark flash.

“NO! HE GETS NO COFFEE! HE’S DESTROYING MY HOUSE!” Papyrus shouted at me. I rolled my eyes. Don’t start with me in the morning, Papyrus.

“Papyrus. Who buys the coffee?” I snapped at him 

“...YOU DO.” He said slowly.

“Good, now you can go cry about it when he eats your food. And this isn’t just your house.” I scolded. Ned got up and dusted himself off.

“Um, no thanks on the coffee, it will prove to be a hindrance to me later.” Ned replied and then he looked at Papyrus. “Has your house fallen in on itself?”


“Alright then. I’ll get lazybones before he’s impossible to move without ‘motivation.’” I air quoted as best I could with two cups of coffee. I continued to watch him for another minute anyway.

“Don’t worry, I’m almost done, I just need to smooth out this wall.” Ned turned to the wall.

“WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?!” Papyrus carried on.

“Because you're going to need the space.” Ned replied.


“Why would we need…?” I asked, furrowing my brow, confused. Another dark flash signified Sans returned, wide socketed looking at everything. Good. Less work for me trying to get him up. I shoved one of the cups of coffee in his hands as usual.

“da fuck is goin’ on? what the hell happened here? looks like ya had it in fer the ground er somethin’.” Sans said, now realizing there was a basement.

“Welcome to the land of the living Sans.” Ned told him with a smile, looking content with how well the wall had turned out, keeping one hand on it. He walked to a circular depression in the floor, a little ways off. What exactly was he planning to do with that? I thought to myself as I sipped my coffee again.

“never was there ta begin with…” he muttered softly next to me.


“Because…” I frantically motioned with my free hand, trying to tell Ned not to give up I was pregnant. Sans drew a line across his neck vertebrae while he slurped his coffee, his warning clear as his eye flashed red. “Because… there’s a hot spring under your house.”


“Wanna bet?” Ned raised an eyebrow. “If you win, I’ll give ya a hint on how to kill me.” Ned tempted Papyrus in a sing song like voice. I watched Papyrus to see if he’d take the bait.


“uh, pap?” Sans started uneasily. Papyrus always had to learn the hard way. Sans knew this, but bets weren’t always a sure thing even if he enjoyed them.

“SANS! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO CALL ME THAT!” Papyrus wasn’t going to listen to anything Sans wanted to say and unsurprisingly formed more bones shards at him, which he dodged easily by teleporting. “JUST FOR THAT, YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO GAMBLE!” Well, if that was his form of punishment towards Sans, it was my form of torture.

“wasn’t plannin’ on it…” he mumbled, quietly enough so Papyrus couldn’t hear. It looked like he was smart enough to stay out of this one anyway. “forget it, boss.”  Ned looked on with interest over this exchange. Sans knew not to argue with Papyrus about stuff like this when he was this frustrated. It might go back on him somehow and he knew it.

“So now that I know you’re in on the bet, wanna get more people in on this bet?” Ned smiled. “Better chances for ya to kill me.”

“YES!  THAT’S A BRILLIANT PLAN! THEN YOUR ANNOYANCE WILL BE DEAD!” Papyrus squealed and ran up the stairs while pulling out his cell phone.

“Make sure ya get everybody ya can!” Ned shouted after him. I almost choked on the mouthful of liquid in my mouth. Everyone meant Undyne. Shit.

“Oh god. He’s gonna get Undyne in here. Sans, strap down the breakables you don’t want broken!” I felt the blood drain form my face. Sans and I teleported throughout the house, grabbing the dishes and a few things in his workshop, transferring them to the shed. “Shoot, Ned!” I teleported back into the underground room. “Um, did I mention not to say the ‘h’ word? ‘Cause all of these monsters coming in are tasked with capturing and looking out for humans, don’t start a frenzy.” I reminded him.

“I’m well aware of the ‘h’ word and remember I’m a mutate, no longer human, but still flesh and blood.”

“Right. We have a safe spot for our things, do you need anything put away? They, especially, Undyne can be kinda rowdy when it comes to other people’s things.” I warned him.

“If that's the case, ya might want to hide this… It can cause a pretty big bang if something gets ruptured.” Ned told me, going over to his backpack, picking it up, then handing it over to me. I quickly teleported it to the shed and set it down, then returned.

“Thanks. Sorry about the extra precautions. Our doors’ve been blasted off the hinges more than once…” I told him.
“That really sounds like home, thank god I built this basement to my standards.” Ned said as he looked around and concerned. “Do the people that Sans’s brother will be bringing over have the same destructive capability as me?”

“If they use it right, but they prefer their weapons.” I confirmed.  

“Oh thank god, because I keep order in an underground house filled with rage, big fucking weapons and super-powered psycho chicks, and when I’m not around, well, things tend to blow up.” Ned breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh, you’ll be meeting at least another one…” I looked away.   

“Only one?” Ned looked around again. “Also, you’re going to want to have Sans here, I have some concerning news for ya both.” Another dark flash emanated from behind one of the pillars.

“whew, i swear ta god, that was the fastest i took care a everything with this amount a warnin’.” Sans walked out from behind the pillar.
“Nice timing, we were just talking about you.” Ned says with a concerned face.

“what’s up?” Sans asked, picking up the tone in Ned’s voice.

“This might sound creepy, but I swear it's not intentional, but it smells like your girl is pregnant with twins…” Ned trailed off,

“WHAT?!?” I exclaimed in complete stupor. No, no, no. There was only one soul. He only swallowed one. Only one showed up on the screen in the lab. Just. One.   

“Now I can’t confirm this, I mean, you're made of magic and such and I’m not too familiar with your current anatomy...” Ned rambled, completely flustered.

“hey!” Sans held onto me to try and calm me and tried to get Ned’s attention, but he kept going.

“I do know battlefield medicine and normal medicine...” Ned continued, until Sans let go of me briefly and smacked him. That seemed to snap him out of it.

“think we both needed ‘at.”

“Thank you.” Ned took a moment to breathe again.

“ain’t no way we’re havin’ twins. i can see the kid’s soul.” Sans turned to me and stared to speak softly. “sweetheart, don’t worry. you know i can see three dimensional, there’s nothin’ hidin’.” he tried to calm me down, but I felt sick. My stomach knotted. Twins? The thought sent me reeling.

“If I am wrong, then it’s going to be one big baby.” Ned turned to the wall. “Either way, this is going to be baby’s first dungeon, fully equipped for mazes, hot springs, and a sparing floor.”

“size of soul doesn’t have anything ta do with their body. the soul’s the only thing formed at this point, buddy.” Sans told him, while helping me sit down where I had been standing.

“Then it’s going to be a strong child.” Ned replied, putting his hand on the wall again, then looked confused. All of the sudden that knot in my stomach churned.

“ya got that right. that was them, not pay. they’ve been able ta respond to ‘er emotions since day one.” What were you saying Sans? What was them?

“Weird, my explosion magic worked all morning, what changed?” Ned asked, looking at his hands and pressing one against the wall again. God. There it was again.

“Ugh, that felt like a kick, but it wasn’t.” I grimaced, clutching my stomach. I felt the next one, hammering at me as if one of Papyrus’s attacks actually hit me.

“What’s going on? I mean, it worked all morning and I don’t feel tired at all.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” I groaned.

“ah fuck. pay’s a magic vacuum and the kid’s the source. damn, that kid’s hungry. stop fer a minute.” Sans’s voice wavered in and out of my hearing. Then I felt a release and a little rounded dragon skull, the size of a fist, materialized. “FUCK! GET DOWN!” The little blaster squeaked and chittered instead of unleashing energy.

“Saaaannnns…” I felt exhausted, lying on the ground. I saw Sans try to grab at the blaster from the air, but it rose out of his reach.

“c’mere, ya little…” he mumbled.  

“The fuck is that thing?” Ned asked as dust that was stirred up cleared. When did that happen?

“kid’s got blasters. well, that’s something i gotta watch out fer. they go fer the soul, don’t get caught up in the energy.” Sans explained, and another, much larger spikier one materializing to nudge at the small one. “get outta the way. don’t let the little one aim at ya.” I sat up, looking at the little blaster. That was something new. Ned drew a knife from his belt and he threw it at the blaster and it spun through the air. The hilt of the knife hit the blaster, disrupting it’s aim. Then the knife flew off to the left and clattered to the floor, drawing the blaster’s short attention span.
“I’m well aware about how the dragon head things work, Century hit me with one and that sucker hurt.”

“damn, wonder how ‘e knows the doc.” Sans wondered. You’d know exactly if you had actually met him, but I agreed with Century; it was probably a bad idea. The blaster, still inspecting the knife, was nudged again by the bigger one and it opened it’s mouth, expelling a beam of energy, and a burp resonating through the room as it closed it’s jaw and dissipated. Ned walked over to his now instantly melted, ruined knife.

“Fuck, that was my favorite knife, ugh, now I gotta forge a new one.” he sulked. “I don’t even know if there is the right kind of iron, nickel and titanium around here to make a new one.” He picked up the slagged knife and held it up for us to see clearer “I only got one more knife.”

“Sorry… I guess they didn’t like your magic.” I blinked, the more time that passed, the better I felt.

“It’s destruction magic, of course your kid ain’t gonna like it.” Ned gave me a confused face. “With a mom like you, I’d be worried if it did.” Ned smiled. “Didn’t expect it to suck up my magic though, weird. I wonder what would happen if someone used creation magic near the kid?”

“we already got one scientist on our kid, you’re not next.” Sans growled.

“Relax, I can only perform destruction magic.” Ned voiced in an easing tone, holding out his hands as if to put distance between himself and Sans.

“your magic ain’t on the same frequency ours is an’ that’s why they rejected it. pay’s already had a few years worth of absorbing my magic. souls have a frequency, ya know.” Sans narrowed his sockets. He was giving him a chance by informing him so he wasn’t so ignorant.

“Well, either way that knife coulda survived an inferno and your kid just dusted it, you should be proud.” Ned looked at the lump of metal that had been his knife. “I think I’ll hang that up in here somewhere.”

“heh, the kid’s gonna kill me if this keeps up, but what’s life without gettin’ by, by the skin under yer teeth?” Sans laughed, relaxing a bit.

“They will not! I won’t be incapacitated once they’re out.” I frowned. As we bickered, neither of us noticed where Ned was looking. Both of us jumped when he started emptying a gun into his companion, who had started regenerating it’s head again. Sans grabbed me and pulled me behind him and I knew why. Ned’s soul had turned black.

“Fuck you, Jaxx, fuck you!” Tears started to prick the corners of his eyes. “Those kids will never fall into your hands and you’ll never have a chance to make them like me!” We watched with wide eyes. Sans held an arm to keep me from moving forward and I instinctively threw up clear green shielding. I could see Ned’s eyes fill with regret when he noticed our position. “Sorry, my emotions got the better of me it, won’t happen again.” Ned somberly walked back to the spot he was at, by the wall. Slowly Sans relaxed.

“... you taking care of a couple a kids?” Sans asked slowly as my shield faded. “an’ this guy wanted ta hurt ‘em er somethin’?” I could feel his disgust towards that thing get bigger. Child stealing to monsters was a low thing, but normal anyway. Especially if theirs weren’t strong enough. Hurting kids, though, when they weren’t your own, meant a death sentence.

“I wanted to raise kids…” Ned replied. “After I got my skin the way it is, I was told I would never be able to make children, then I found out that Jaxx cloned me, I never got a chance to see them, I put my old friend in charge of rescuing them. I’ll probably never get a chance to raise them.” Ned told us, and the tears started to flow as he spoke. Ned chipped the wall as he worked. “Sorry I didn’t mean to chip the wall like that.”

“Ned? Never mind that. You obviously love them to no bounds. If your home is like ours, you’ve been doing your best and no one can blame you for it. No matter how much time passes between worlds, love is timeless. When you go home, I want you to find them.” Tears started streaming from my face. Damn these hormones. They made my heart extra gooey at these types of stories, not that it wasn’t anyway.

“Its funny when ya think about it, they are safe and sound in my complex being raised by an android, that I created, and it has all my memories, and skills, hell, the thing looks like me, and my friends… my family don’t even know that I’m not there, but that's how it has to be or they won’t perform at their best and here's the punchline: home uses me as a symbol of fear.” Ned sighed. “If I vanish, then everything I did will be in vain.”

“so it’s not you.” Sans finished. “i get it. nothin’ about this situation is fun for ya… if i was dusted or put in your shoes… i’d do what i could and protect ‘em and keep everything right too. if i die, it’s ‘cause...” He looked longingly at me, and squeezed one of my hands. “it’s not gonna go down to that though.” he shook his head. He was more determined than ever. “and you shouldn’t let it either. late’s better than never. i’ll personally make sure ya get back somehow.”  

“I gotta kill that thing first.” Ned turned around and pointed at the torso. “And I want him to feel as much pain as he put me and my family though.” He sounded angry. And vengeful. It was wrong.

“I-I can’t imagine the feeling. Even now.” I sniffled.

“an extreme sense of justice, fairness, revenge.” Sans muttered. “only happens when you’re wronged so much it hurts more than any physical wound. i’ve felt it once. i don’t wanna go back to it, but i can help ya find someone else.” Sans’s face hardened.

“There’s a reason I want to hand that torso over to a scientist.” Ned told him. I hoped he didn’t mean Sans, but it sounded like he already refused. He didn’t need any more EXP or LV the way he was.

“as long as she can have the soul, i think i know one…” Sans laughed. I knew that tone. It was a devious one. He really was going to help Ned, but in the way he shouldn’t.

“Sans no!”

“yes.” he said with finality. “look at it. that ain’t right. i’m not gonna kill it and pap won’t be able to. there’s only two people left we can ask without getting ripped apart or denied. gaster won’t kill it and somethin’ will happen… but alphys… she’s so klutzy she’ll kill ‘em before ‘e’s off the table.” I grimaced as I looked at it’s soul. It was so wrong, beyond saving. It craved power and nothing else. It would hurt those around it without a second thought. It was once human, but not anymore. It craved a god-like status any boss monster soul could give it.  

“No one is safe in your world or mine as long as that man… that thing is alive.” Ned said with a stone cold face. “I know you don’t want to kill anything and I know that I would never ask someone else to kill someone that I could kill myself, but that thing is something I cannot kill, no matter how hard I try.” Ned’s face softened.

“O-ok.” I looked down at my abdomen. They needed to stay safe and our child wasn’t until it was gone. Suddenly, there was loud thumps from above and Papyrus’s voice blasted its way into our ears, muffled by rock and snow.

Chapter Text

“NO! DOWN HERE. NO WEAPONS UNTIL YOU’RE DOWN THE STAIRS!” the familiar clink of armor and swish of thick material greeted us as the entire assembly of royal guards and sentries. doggo with his shifty eyes, jumped down from the top first, drawing out his katanas, followed by dogi with battle axes, who, as usual, were practically joined at the hip. a small yip came from greater dog in a huge amount of armor as he ducked to walk down slowly, and lesser dog followed him, with his sword in his mouth and ran around him. the two royal guards chatted amongst themselves, wondering what was going on and then the last one was undyne, who was even louder than papyrus at this point.


“Ok, I’m going to call Gaster. After what just happened with the magic, I’m gonna need a check-up.” patience said. no kidding. we couldn’t afford any problems.

“alright. he’ll wanna see me too and fleshy, here’ll wanna tag along too.” i sighed before she displaced away. “i should make sure they don’t miss me at my other jobs.” i told ned begrudgingly. in a way, i still wanted to keep an eye on him.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute! I need ya here.” ned walked up to me.

“i ain’t doing this, you heard my bro and i ain’t bettin’ anyway.” i told him.                    

“I need a neutral party to hold the money for me so I don’t get ripped off.” ned said with a chuckle.

“oh no, you know what they do if they lose? i ain’t getting chased around town over gold. i’m a fragile guy.” i told him nervously, looking around. ned raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll give you a fourth of the winnings and if I die you can have my tech and all of the winnings. Deal?” he stuck out his hand for a handshake. i hesitated for a moment. fuck. the way he was acting, i knew he was going to win and they had a lot of gold…

“deal.” i smiled. i couldn’t pass this one up and i shook his hand. ned pulled out a single earbud out of his pocket.

“And now for some music.” he looked like he was deciding as he put it in his ear. rock music started coming from his pocket and then he walked up to the rowdy group clasping his hands. “Alright, you’re all here to make a bet, right?” they all nodded their heads.

“YEAH, SHRIMP!” undyne boisterously yelled. ned stared her down and a smile curled on his lips.

“And this must be the unruly Undyne, pleasure to make your acquaintance!” ned said eagerly. undyne narrowed her eyes at his reaction. most people were intimidated by her, so this was new to her, but not unheard of.

“Yeah, I’d say the same, but that voice is starting to get on my nerves.” she said, picking at his accent and already trying to start a fight.

“Well, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” he clasped his hands again and walked aimlessly. “Onto business! Now who here wants a human soul? Because I found one and hid it and I’m not going to tell ya where it is, unless you win.”

well fuck. he played that card. every face lit up as the guards and sentries gasped and started talking quickly to each other.


“How much do you know about humans? Because I saw your traps and they ain’t gonna stop shit.” i started laughing, but for most of his traps, it was true. papyrus’s eye lit up in it’s rust orange out of rage as he attacked ned with a bone staff in true typical fashion. ned grabbed the end of the staff and held it about six inches away from his chest giving him a shit eating grin. “Hey, your eye almost matches my hair.” he turned his attention to the rest of the sentries. “He’s a little more bark than bite, ya know what I mean?” i laughed at the dog pun and ned twisted his wrist, snapping the bone weapon in half and threw it, burrowing it about a foot into the wall.


“I am not in your home. I’m under your home, and you didn’t lay claim to what was under your house otherwise you woulda had a basement, before I showed up.” ned’s grin grew wider. that was very true no matter how you put it.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT PUNK JUST PLAYED YOU, PAP!” undyne laughed without restraint, while the royal guards try to cover up their laughs with coughing and the sentries were trying to comprehend where the bone went into the wall.

“Now, seriously, who wants to make a bet?” everyone looked interested as soon as the word bet was said. “Now I bet a human soul against your paychecks. You all did get paid today, right?”

“Bone boy still has our paychecks.” undyne looked at papyrus with disdain. i didn’t blame her for being bitter from the last fight for captain.

“Well? What are ya waiting for? Pay up, bonehead.” ned rubbed his hands together, watching papyrus. he handed out the pay, to each of us in the typical sack. ned waited eagerly until everybody was payed. “Now that you all have been paid, here's the bet, I bet there is a hot spring right…” ned walked back to the divot that he made in the ground. “Here.” ned pointed at his feet. “Now to accept my bet, you have to give your paychecks to Sans, he will hold the gold until the bet has been settled. Now I have to inform you all that the bet I made with Pap here,” ned chuckled and papyrus narrowed his eyes, but for once he didn’t do anything about someone, other than undyne calling him by his nickname. “Is a little different. For the last day and night, he has tried to kill me unsuccessfully, so if you all win and get the human soul, I also have to give Pap here a hint on how to kill me.”

“... I’d get in on that.” the dragon guard said. holy shit he talked! i was stunned that he talked as he handed me his sack of gold.

“M-me too!” the bunny guard exclaimed, following him. typical for him. i rolled my eyes as he gave me his gold.  

“If there’s water down there, it’s not going to be hot.” undyne narrowed her eye at ned while handing in her whole paycheck. she was smart, but i wouldn’t lose if he did on that technicality.

“Shall we, my little poodle?” dogamy asked dogaressa.

“Only yours. I smell a rat and we do have puppies... Doggo? Will you?” she asked him.

“As long as nothing pets me.” doggo responded by squinting his eyes further trying to look around, then tossed his gold down towards me.

greater dog and lesser dog yipped and tried to gnaw at my bones before they gave me their money. in true coward considered fashion, i dodged, the gold clinking in their bags.

“hey, get yer own! you wanna bone you gotta pay fer it!” i yelled at them. ned walked to the wall to where the bone he broke was buried. ned plunged his fist into the wall, retrieving it and giving it to them.

“Here you can have this one.” ned snapped the already broken bone in half and handed it to them. they yipped happily and try to steal each other’s bone. ned snickered at the seemingly random bullshit. “Are all bets in?” ned asked with glee.

“s’all of ‘em, ‘cept boss. you bettin’?” i asked my brother.

“I MOST CERTAINLY AM!” papyrus shoved his gold at me and i smiled. this was one of the first times he was going to get scammed.

“never thought you’d ever give me this much gold, boss.”

“SHUT UP SANS!” I laughed quietly.

“If all bets are in, then let’s do this.” ned walked over to the divot in the ground, and decided to lay down and in a ‘sexy’ pose. if i didn’t need my eyes, i would’ve facepalmed, but at least he wasn’t flirting with me again. he punched the spot he pointed at earlier and steam and water started gushing out from the cracks. “Now I can’t feel heat, so Sans, can you please check the temperature?”

“yer asking a skeleton ta check the temperature? i wear fucking shorts outside! ah, whatever. yeah, it’s hot. there’s steam.” i said, waving it off and dipping my hand into the water.

“Well Sans, you are the neutral party and you’re less likely to lie to me.” ned reasoned.

“but i could be lying ta them assholes.” i shot back. i certainly had the motivation.

“Yeah, true, Pap check the water temp and you too Miss Undyne the unruly.” she smiled at that one.

“I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!” papyrus shouted, testing the water. “I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS!”

“If I don’t get that soul, you’re in for it, shrimp.” undyne growled, next to him.

“SANS!” papyrus started eyeing me.

“i’m out.” i said fast i was starting to sweat and i displaced out of sight behind a pillar, before another move could be made against me. the music he was listening to turned up louder so everyone clearly heard:

“Now dance fuckers, dance!

You never had a chance!”

“You all lost the bet fairly, so not only did you lose your paycheck, ya lose the human soul. Bye.” ned waved and started running for the stairs. all of the dogs, excepting the hooded ones, started growling and everyone drew and summoned weapons, trying to block ned’s path. he charged through them, knocking greater dog and lesser dog onto their asses and made it through the door. ned turned around at the door. “Here’s the punch line to your little joke, y’all decided to come here and gamble your paychecks, instead of doing your jobs, no wonder why the human snuck in.” ned darted out, laughing. as he ran out, he grabbed a rock from a rock pile. several spears sunk into the wall behind him and flickered out of existence. now was the time to take this outside and follow the action. i hid myself in a place with a good vantage point to watch this chaos unfold.


“Right, Boss.” i heard her respond seriously for once as they burst out from ned’s cave.

“WE NEED THAT SOUL!” ned was leaning against a tree outside, waiting for them and laughed at papyrus trying to push his way up to the front.

“Dumbass, it was right next to you this whole time.” ned mumbled under his breath.

“We’re going to work.” the hooded duo told the rest of the sentries and guards with gleams in their eyes and walked off. ned waved to them.

“It was a pleasure meeting ya and smart move not gambling your entire paycheck. Hope ya have a nice day.” ned said, sounding sincere.

“YOU’LL NEVER MAKE IT PAST ANYONE, LET ALONE US! NYEH HEH HEH!” papyrus laughed. oh please. everyone made it past you.

“So who’s ready for their morning training?” ned said with another smile. a huge boulder-like iceball was hurled at ned and he dodged to the left.


“We got an eager volunteer!” ned said with a cocky smirk and his eyebrows shot up again. “Are you ready!?!” ned took a sprinter stance. oh, my fucking god. he was going to get a run for his money. literally. “Get set!” he tensed himself. “GO!!!!” ned took off going faster than any human could, spraying long packed snow behind him, and heading towards the forest. “Catch me if ya can!” ned’s words were whipped through the wind.

“Something moved!” doggo yelped and chased right after ned.

“Let’s kill ‘em 02.” the bunny guard said and the dragon nodded.

“WHAT ARE YOU TWO STANDING THERE FOR!?” papyrus yelled at the remaining sentries, who were sniffing each other’s butts. dumbasses, but what else would you expect from dogs? they jumped to attention and started to sniff in different directions. ned doubled back and he whistled at greater dog and lesser dog with doggo hot on his heels. my phone buzzed in my pocket.

“hey sweetheart.” i answered.

“Over here!” ned yelled. he turned around and jumped over doggo with his hand out and giving doggo’s back a quick scratch.

“Well, I called Gaster. He wants me to come in as soon as I can. I told the shopkeeper, but she’s making a batch of fresh cinnamon bunnies, so I’m stuck here until then. It shouldn’t take too long though.” she told me. 

“SOMETHING PET ME! PET! PIT! PAT! PUT! PET! POT!” he barked over and over, stopping in excited glee, hopping up and down, and headed for grillby’s.

“alright, be careful a these idiots runnin’ round town. who knows what’ll happen.” i warned her.

“GET BACK HERE DOGGO!” papyrus yelled in frustration, but he didn’t listen, as usual.

“I hear ‘em. Will do. You don’t mind waiting up for me, right? After last time with Gaster…” she trailed off. 

“Come on Pap, ya gotta hire people that can stay focused.” ned shouted at papyrus.

“yeah, i know. we don’t know what happens when somethin’ goes right, but we also don’t know when somethin’ goes wrong. we gotta be careful an’ the only thing we can do is keep checkin’.” i sighed.

“THEY’RE ONLY SENTRIES! NO ONE EXPECTS THEM TO HAND DELIVER A SOUL TO THE KING!” papyrus retorted back, sending a wall of bones at ned. he did a front flip over the wall.

“Well, I gotta go. I’ll see you soon. I love you.” it sounded like she was smiling from the other end.

“Gotta do better than that to catch me Pap.” ned laughed.

“i love ya too, sweetheart.” i sighed and hung up.

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!” papyrus rushed at him. there it was. he really didn’t like that nickname.

“Make me Pap!” ned called back spears rose up behind him. better move, i thought to myself, but said nothing to give myself away.

“ONLY I CAN CALL HIM THAT!” undyne threw more spears at ned from the side as papyrus swiped at ned with a newly formed bone staff. ned grabbed several spears from their flight and absorbed them. what the fuck? now i knew i had to be extra careful. a human who could absorb magic like that without a problem had to be watched. he jumped up and landed on papyrus’s bone staff and it forced papyrus to pole vault over ned and into the shop door, slamming it and breaking the hinges.

“Smooth move Exlax.” ned laughed and continued running away, but around undyne. “You probably coulda paid for damages if ya didn’t gamble your pay check a few minutes ago.” he shouted back at papyrus again.

“BWAHAHAHAHA! Serves you right, captain!” undyne laughed with ned, not one lose any chance to ridicule him. ned started to run toward greater dog and lesser dog, who were slowly gaining ground on him from either side. both dogs bared their fangs at him. ned jumped over them, guiding their heads as he did and bonking their heads together, and knocking them out cold. i snickered. cold.

“Four down, three to go.” ned muttered to himself and started to slow down, while dodging undyne’s spears.

“AHHH!” guard 01 shouted, charging at ned with his buddy silently charging with him. what gave with those two? why did it take so long for them to formulate this “plan” of theirs? i sighed. they were pathetic, but i guess i wasn’t much different. it was too bad i couldn’t quit if i wanted to.

“It’s a bunny! It’s so cute!” how typical. 01 growled in response. ned twisted his wrist in a weird way and the strips of cloth and mercury fell off him, and he started moving faster. well, he had been getting slower, so less weight on him… “Come on, Mr. Bun-Buns catch me if ya can!” ned ran toward 02 with 01 charging at him. “Hey Mr. Dragon! Ain’t ya supposed to be at your post?” he jumped over 02 in his heavy armor and 01 tried to follow, but slipped and ran into his buddy.

“...” the dragon grunted. “...01, this isn’t worth it anymore.” he picked up his fallen comrade and walked to waterfall, so they could go back to hotland. “...don’t go to Hotland.” he warned ned menacingly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll visit ya later, ya both need the training.” ned called after them, still dodging undyne’s spears. “Where do you keep getting these things!?!” ned asked undyne, perplexed. the question to everything new you see here is always magic, i rolled my eyes, knowing it was coming.

“HAVEN’T YA HEARD OF MAGIC, PUNK?” she roared, laughing.

“Have you seen what I did without magic?” ned asked pointedly.

“Didja see what i did without magic?” she retorted.

“Fair point.” ned shrugged and stopped running to turn around to face her. “I also think you have earned this.” I noticed Ned was still holding the rock he grabbed and he started throwing it up and down in his hand. Undyne paused.

“WHATEVER! I’m getting my job back if I kill you, so no hard feelings!” she sent another volley of spears at ned, who was now immobilized by her green mode. ned smiled and he whipped the rock at the closest spear, bouncing it off of each spear going at him. all of them veer off their intended path, missing ned, and the rock itself hit undyne in the eyepatch. Ingenious, but easy to replicate, so easy to impress people.

“You’re not going to get your job back until you figure out how I did that and can replicate it.” ned responded.

“NNNAAAGHHH! WHAT WAS THAT PANSY THROW!?!” undyne looked confused.

“Take a look at the rock.” ned responded coldly. his soul flickered to a darker color for a moment and i tensed, ready to do something if i needed to.

“The fuck?” she looks at the now eye shaped rock. ok, now that i didn’t expect. “Are you making fun of my lost eye?” she narrowed her remaining one in skepticism. 

“Not at all, I’m telling you that you don’t have the skill to, nor the strength, or even the means to kill or even beat me.” ned stared undyne down with a hard look. i noticed papyrus, holding his head semi groggily finally starts to get up. this entire time, patience had been trying to get him up from behind the counter, which wasn’t hard for her at all.

“Come on, get up. Once Pearl gets back, she won’t be happy.” i heard her say and she dragged him up through her magic. she pushed him out once he was able to stand on his own, then saw ned and undyne staring each other down.

“Ned! Don’t send her over here if you can help it! I’ve got enough problems already.” her voice sounded shrill in the cold air. 

“Don’t worry, I think I’m just about done here.” ned smiled and waved at patience. “Was there any damages to the shop?”

“Just the door, but that happens a lot. I got it!” she waved back.

“Alright if you have it.” ned turned back to undyne who was put off that he turned away from her. “Don’t worry, about you getting your job back, practice your spearsmanship, gain more skills, and practice what you can do without magic and you’ll get your job back from bonehead over there.” ned pointed at papyrus.” I don’t plan on staying here for long.”

“I practice every DAY, punk, and you mean to tell me that I’m not GOOD ENOUGH?!” she threw another barrage of spears at him, enraged, but ned caught most of them, and let one hit him in the chest. i knew he let it. the way he dodged told me he could’ve, but he didn’t. making a point to undyne that she couldn’t kill him might set her off to figure it out and she was a lot smarter than papyrus. the spear fell flat on the ground and disappeared like all the others did.

“Not when you’re fighting a demon.” ned replied coldly again. i felt my magic surge again, but i couldn’t afford to walk out now. a flicker was a red flag, but until it turned to killing, nothing could be done until i judged him. “Your choice, Undyne the Unrelenting. You can either focus on me or you can focus on what you want. If you focus on me, you’re going to have a rough road ahead of you.”

“What I want is that soul!” undyne stubbornly told him.

“You lost the bet and you lost your chance to get it!” technically she was doing what he wanted her to do. she was only focusing on him because he had what she wanted. not that we had enough souls. she’d be even more motivated and desperate if it was the seventh one, by then, she couldn’t be reasoned with, but right now, it was an imperative task only the bravest and strongest could take care of. undyne had made it her life.

“I DON’T CARE! There’s no choice in the matter, it goes to the king!” the determination she had now would terrify normal people. she was on a mission and undyne would stand up to anything.

“Not by your hands.” ned replied in the same chilling tone. knowing he was taking her seriously struck something in me as she hesitated.

“If you can tell me a shrimp like you would do that, I’ll stop, but if you absorb it and leave our asses here, I will hunt you down when that barrier breaks.” she said, just as cold. either she wasn’t thinking or that determination was getting her to stand her ground. no, she knew she couldn’t beat him, i decided.

“I’ll do what's best for everybody in the barrier! And I’ll do it because a friend asked me to!” ned stared down undyne again and somehow made his voice even colder. “I’ll stay as long as I can until my time to leave comes or my friend’s self-appointed job is done.” ned shot a quick glance at patience, who was holding up the door with a green glow and re-screwing new hinges on the door. i had mixed feelings about that. even though pretty much everyone was corrupted, there was no known way to help those with black on their souls except to contain it and stop it from advancing. “After all, it’s probably what my kids would want.”

“Whatever, punk. Hey! You!” patience pointed to herself. “Yeah! Patience was it?” undyne asked her. word got around fast, not that i cared much.

“Yeah.” she smiled softly.

“You kick Sans’s sorry ass. He’s living with you, so kick his ass about that soul.” undyne grumbled and turned to waterfall to start patrolling.

“Will do!” she waved. ned headed over to papyrus and patience.

“That was fun. I hoped they enjoyed the show.” ned grinned.

Chapter Text

“That was fun.” Ned looked around at the carnage that he caused. “I took out seven people and not only are they still alive, but only a door was busted.” He walked over to where he ditched his earlier, now finished mercury project. “Normally I destroy a building or two and there is only one survivor that isn’t me.”

“Well, good. Thank you for that. They mean well for this place and it’s already falling apart.” I told him.

“I gathered that from fighting them.” Ned looked at Papyrus. “Papyrus, do you mind summoning up a bone staff?”

“AND WHY WOULD I DO THAT?” he crossed his arms. Uncooperative being a sore loser as usual.

“Don’t be so difficult. Please?” I asked, smiling and letting my magic surge a tiny bit.

“...FINE.” he said and one spun into existence and he grabbed it.

“Can I have it? I think your sentries have earned a reward.” Ned asked holding his hand out.


“I gave them something to work towards and now I need to taunt them. Your men will be even more vigilant and more willing to train harder than ever before if they take their job seriously.” Ned explained.

“IN THAT CASE, YES.” he handed Ned his staff.

“Thank you.” Ned broke the staff into four pieces, then he went into the bar, coming back out holding Doggo by the scruff of his neck. He threw him into the snowbank where Greater Dog and Lesser Dog were knocked out, causing them to get startled at the sudden impact. “Alright you three, here, the fruits of your labors.” Ned threw them three out of four sections of the bone staff. “When you can overwhelm me with teamwork is when you can get that human soul, but as far as I’m concerned, I just earned your paychecks and I plan on keeping them.” Ned let a low intimidating growl and they took notice, but still moved to get their pieces. “AM I UNDERSTOOD!?” Ned yelled at the sentries who were beginning to gnaw on their bones. They flinched and froze. “Get back to your posts!” Ned said in fury, like he was a displeased dog owner. They yelped at his voice changing again. Whimpering, they slunk back to the forest with their tails tucked between their legs. Ned turned back to me and Papyrus. “Now if you don’t mind Papyrus, have the two hooded dog people come over later or tell me if they go to the bar, I got something I want to give to the one and the bone to give to the other, and now I’m off to find Sans.”

“i’m right ‘ere. when do ya get off, pay?” he asked from behind me. Knowing him, he was watching the entire time.

“As soon as I get the door up again, stalker.” I replied.

“Sorry, about that Patience.” Ned said sheepishly.

“I have to deal with it on an almost daily basis. Don’t worry about it.” I shrugged. It was rare that nothing happened when any monster thought they could get away with it.

“If you say so.” Ned turned to Sans. “So, Sans, how much did you make out of our deal?”

“775g.” I looked up at him and he shrugged. That was a lot of gold.  

“Nice. That means I made about 2325g. Looks like I’m breaking out the good stuff tonight.” Sans handed Ned his gold from the bet. “How much do you need?” Ned asked.

“how much a what do i need?” Sans asked him, confused.

“How much gold do you need? I figured that you’d have some bills over your head in this world and this gold ain’t gonna mean much to me once I leave.” Ned shrugged.

“what? heh, who said anything ‘bout a bill? this place is just expensive.” Sans said nervously, starting to sweat.

“Sans, you have a horrible poker face, just tell me how much you need, and if I have it when I’m done getting supplies, I’ll just give it to ya.” Ned didn’t look amused at Sans trying to dodge his gold. I knew he wouldn’t take it until Ned left it with us. I decided to up the pressure.

“Sans, Grillby won’t tell me how much your tab is, but he’s threatened to use me as interest.” I told him and he flinched.

“shit, well, i got ‘nough now, so let’s get it over there before that happens.” He muttered, embarrassed.

“Patience, is the shop closed? I’m going to need some fabric, and if ya got them, door hinges, and some various other things.” Ned asked. I left the door alone for a moment, standing up.

“No, I can ring you out and show you what we have.” I smiled. It was always good to have business. It made the time pass faster.

“Papyrus, can I wire the basement into your house?” Ned asked him.

“AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T COST ME ANYTHING ELSE.” He didn’t understand what that meant. It was apparent. Oh well.                                                        

“I’m paying for it.” Ned told him.

“Go smite some humans or something, Papyrus.” I told him, rolling my eyes. He grumbled as he walked off. “Works every time.” I winked.

“Alright, I’ll just take that as a yes, and thank you Patience.” Ned followed me as he listed off everything he wanted. Ned gave me all of his gold to sort through and he walked out with 1,515 gold and raw materials for his stay. “Hold out your hand.” Ned demanded Sans to do. Sans’s eyes darted from Ned’s face to his hand.

“i don’t want anything from ya, ya already gave me more’n enough taday.” San stubbornly told him.

“Fine, but I ain’t gonna need it once I’m fully set up. Also, I did plan on paying for rent.” Ned brought up.

“…alright, rent it is, but that show was fair payment in my eyes.” I could tell he was having trouble even thinking about taking that.

“That was an abnormal show for me, things usually end up dead or destroyed.” Ned smiled, looking accomplished.

“yeah, well, if ya did happen ta start dusting ‘em, pay woulda been out, then me and we’d all have a bad time.” Sans’s large red eye flickered as he laughed. I knew he still didn’t trust Ned at all, but I also knew where he was coming from. 

“Fair point.” Ned shrugged. “Think your brother is going to recover from that embarrassment? ‘Cause I kinda just brutally hazed him and everybody under his command.”

“he’ll just pick it up with the trainin’. ‘course i don’t go anyway so it makes no difference.” Sans told him indifferently.

“What about that Undyne person? I kinda just told her she wasn’t good enough and she seems like the confident type.” Ned looked a little worried. I crouched down again to start screwing in the hinges on the door again.

“Don’t worry. She probably has enough Determination to come back from the dead. She might even be training already.” I reassured him.

“Looks like I probably found my sparring partner. I gotta keep my workout regimen.” Ned took note. I looked up from the door, noticing Pearl watching us. She waved, signaling when I was done we could go.

“Well, Pearl’s back. We can go to the lab.” I said, waving back to her.

“Pay off debts first, then go or go straight to the lab? Your call.” Ned said.

“eh, it’ll take a minute.” Sans said. “i really don’t want anything happening. who knows what grillbz’ll do.” He told us. 

“I’ll run these supplies to the basement.” Ned said before sprinting off.

“hold it down ‘ere fer a minute.” Sans told me before disappearing.



“hey! grillby!” i raised my voice. immediately, his white eyes grew whiter, his smile grew wider and his flames spread across the bar, ready to roast me alive. just like i used to, i sat down on my usual barstool.

“…I told you not to come back.”

“unless i had the dough.” i retorted, throwing a full sack of 2000g on the counter. grillby looked at me skeptically. “it’s all there.” the disappointment on his face told me he was looking forward to the stretch for the last 500g, by offering something he wanted. “i honor my deals an’ you know it.”

“…” his purple flames retreated from the bar as he told me i was usually lazier than this.

“yeah? and? what’s it ta you?” i asked.

“…” grillby asked me if i was going to keep patience or eventually let her go, because he liked her.

“there ain’t no way i’m fuckin’ up again. ‘m keepin’ myself clean an’ i’m getting’ what i want. every. fucking. night.” i grinned harder. grillby had started counting his gold.

“… so that’s how she survived. If I’m not mistaken, her soul is Kindness.” grillby looked up, also grinning.

“you hurt ‘er and i’ll-”

“Do what, Sans? You know I’ve never gotten my hands on anyone like her. I find her enchanting, but if you actually claimed her, I have no business offering her overtime.”   

“i dunno what she told ya, but yeah, i claimed ‘er and i ain’t lettin’ ‘er go. that ass is mine.” i growled.

“…” he started cleaning a glass and said there were rumors that we faked a bond.

“heh, whoever said ‘at doesn’t believe in bonding. it’s real all right an’ if anyone fucks with ‘er… well, that’ll be a show ta watch.”

“…” a small smile formed in place of his wide one as he told me he knew it existed. i deadpanned. he played me into saying we were bonded. damn my fucking mouth. “…you’re welcome to have another tab. I’m impressed you saved enough for all of it so, I’ll even give you a 50G start.” i knew he only gave me that allowance for being a repeat customer, who constantly was in debt to him. 50g was trivial compared to his interest.

“you done countin’ yet?” i asked.

“…it was nice doing business with you.” grillby said smugly and i flipped him off right before displacing.

“‘e had ta count all a it.” i explained to pay, with a little disdain in my tone. “told me i’m welcome ta have a tab again.”

“Don’t go overboard again.” she warned me. “Come on, let’s see what’s holding Ned up. He never came back.”

“you good ta displace?” i asked.

“Mmm-hmm!” she hummed and took my hand, before we did. we found ned with his back towards the door, soaking in the hot spring. without anything on.

“hey! told ya it’d take only a minute. ya wanna go ta the lab or what?” i asked, somewhat annoyed. patience started averting her eyes as much as she could.

“Sorry I had to warm up or I woulda froze on the spot, without energy to absorb, my skin gets tighter and tighter, until I literally become a living statue.” he shrugged

“Well, you won’t have to worry about that where we’re going. Snowdin and the forest back there are the coldest places in the Underground. It’s a ten minute walk to Waterfall and it’s much warmer there.” patience told him as ned got dressed back into his uniform.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I really needed to warm up.”

“You made the hot spring, you’re welcome to use it.” patience smiled. 

“That sounds fair.” ned laughed. “Man, I wish you coulda seen their faces when I cracked the spring open and everybody lost their paychecks in under fifteen seconds.”

“They already gamble away their paychecks for the most part. Usually Lesser Dog wins, but sometime’s they’re so drunk, they get stolen.” patience shrugged.

“yeah… s’happened ta me before.” i said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head in shame. “but that was ‘fore i had pay, or a kid.” i added quickly.     

“Well, don't worry about me making anymore noise around town now that I’ve gotten what I needed, my antics will be brought down to a minimum. Although, I might work out with Undyne or Papyrus from now on, I gotta keep in practice after all, and they seem to be able to keep me at least semi fit.” ned’s attention went to the torso. it had regenerated it’s head back. fuck. i shielded patience’s eyes. “Betcha you’d want to be in this hot spring.” ned pulled out a gun and shot the bastard’s head off again. she flinched under my hands.

“You ready?” patience asked ned, while shuddering. i still had my hands over her eyes.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” ned replied, putting away his gun and i directed patience out so she wouldn’t see any of that mess. it really disturbed her, though i guess it was kinda how i didn’t like looking at monster dust.

“good. yer lucky we know the safest way through waterfall. it’s a pretty straightforward path, but ya might get a little starstruck.” i smiled sharply and patience giggled.

“I don’t know, I have seen a lot of stuff.” ned responded skeptically.

“Well, I for one never get tired of going through. I think you’ll know why once we get there.” patience lead the way out. she started walking aimlessly, but stayed on the snowy path to waterfall. i chuckled a little bit at the innocent sight. “Oh, if you hear music, I don’t care how bad you are, if you want to stay alive, you’d better dance.” patience warned ned, turning backwards.

“right, the blook. yeah, ya don’t wanna upset ‘im. ‘e only knows magical attacks that go straight ta yer soul.” i added.

“Ya think that it will consider some martial arts stuff as a dance if it’s smooth enough?” ned asked. “The only dances I know require me to have a partner.”

“Maybe, as long as it’s in time and it looks like you’re having fun, Napstablook shouldn’t try to zap you.” patience answered. “Plus, even if you wanted to, you can’t kill him. He isn’t corporeal.” she added. 

“Good to know.” ned responded as we entered waterfall. water dripped constantly, muting noises and scents. “I can see why one would be star struck.” ned said in awe as he looked around at the luminescent plants and rocks. patience looked up at the faraway ceiling, watching the glowing stones glimmer.

“A never ending, never moving, night sky and still, I’m not tired of it…” she started humming a relaxing tune, which fit perfectly with the constant background noise. i felt less tense, but i still kept an eye out for the usual things and one on ned.

“c’mon, while everyone ‘ere is pacified. this place is fulla monsters. watch out fer temmies and aaron, they ain’t as moved.” ned followed us in silence. patience brushed a hand against an echo flower, an added source of information if she was in danger.

“Hello… hello… hello…” the different voice faded.  

“Did those bushes speak?” ned whispered to me, sounding a little put off.

“Did those bushes speak… speak… speak?” the flower repeated in the same hushed tone.

“yeah, they’re echo flowers. they only like ta talk when pay’s ‘round, but that might be ‘cause she ain’t corrupted. sometimes, someone’ll talk ta ya. someone dead. pay ain’t the first version of ‘erself ‘ere. i lost the real one ‘fore we even met and that’s how we found out.” i explained. ned shivered.

“They know of the deceased, what else do they know of?” he asked uneasily.

“Wishes… Dreams… Hopes… and much more…” i knew that voice.

“destiny.” i said softly, but my face still hardened.

“Yes...? Yes...?Yes…?”

“i know ya wanted ta know me’n’all, but ya need to rest.” i scolded softly.

“Beware the man who speaks in hands… hands… hands…”

“oh fuck.” i whispered under my breath, and looked at patience, who was whispering to another flower. “listen, i have no choice.” i told her.

“listen… listen… listen…” the flower repeated my voice. sounded like no one was home.

“They’re telling me to follow the voices, Sans. They think Aaron will cross our regular path, but we’ll be close to the Temmie village.” patience called out to me.

“little fuckers.” i mumbled.

“Do I even want to know what those things are?” ned asked.

“oh, they’re cute and adorable once ya see ‘em, but ya don’t want ‘em ta latch onta ya or they’ll suck ya dry a gold and everything else ya have all ta go ta college. we don’t even have one a those.” i sighed.

“So, are they kinda like con artists or...”                                             

“or.” i told him firmly.

“Well, what is this Aaron creature?”

“meathead seahorse on land. ain’t the brightest, but top a the food chain here, but i’d rather not get in a fight and have pay use extra magic, ‘cause he ain’t interested in anything but her. if that happens, there’s no helpin’ her. you can’t, i can’t. i’d want ta, but… last time… he developed somethin’.” i grimaced. “it’s the way ‘is battle locks ya out.”

“Best to avoid it then.” ned nodded.

“Alpha...? Alpha...? Alpha…?” ned froze up for a moment and looked around for the calling voice. maybe it did span universes, he certainly recognized it.

“Omega?” he whispered. “No, impossible, you’re not part of this world.”

“Possible… possible… possible…” his voice echoed right back at him.

“...Wanna bet?”  the voice sounded like some cheeky girl. ned turned pale. looked like he definitely heard a ghost from his past. 

“How?” ned managed to utter, while still looking for the voice.

“Memories… memories… memories…” destiny’s ever helpful voice popped up.

“hey, leave ‘im alone, that’s rude, ‘e’s talkin’ ta someone.” i told her softly.

“Omega, I didn’t want too… I tried to save you.” ned said shakily. the waterworks were coming. i sighed.

“I know… I know… I know…”

“Remember this asshole, Omega?” ned held up his buddy he took with him. i didn’t blame him. that thing definitely needed to be watched for when it randomly sprouted a head. “He cloned us, just got the kids into the embryo stage, and then he was going to turn them into me…” ned trailed off as he looked down at the ground, finding the few stands of grass more interesting. “I couldn’t let him do that, they deserve better...”

“...Alpha?” the flower oddly didn’t repeat itself again.

“Yes?” ned responded weakly.

“Shut up.”

“Yes m’am…” he flinched, but then held out a hand to the flower as if it were her. “I miss you.”

“I’m gone… deal with it… protect them...” it said coldly. ouch. never knew a dead person to be harsh to someone like this one was.

“Roger that.” ned said softly with a smile, still tearing up. “I’ll still remember you Victoria.”

“...” it didn’t respond.

“I love you, Omega.” ned turned to me, and i realized i was staring.

“i ain’t sayin’ nothin’.” i turned my back on him. a firm hand fell on my shoulder.

“We need to get this thing killed.” ned said aggressively. well, whoever that victoria chick was, she knew how to strengthen his resolve.  

“relax, we’re goin’ there. enjoy the view.” i told him and he seemed to relax a bit.

“I guess I will. Patience, lead the way, please.” he said, not noticing that patience was way up ahead. she popped up out of the long grass.

“There you two are. What stopped you? Memories?” she questioned when she noticed we weren’t moving.

“Yeah, memories.” i nodded to her and she continued singing her wordless tune. it echoed hauntingly across the walls and was picked up by the flowers.

Chapter Text

“never ceases ta amaze me. kid likes it too.” Sans murmured behind me. I could feel it too. Their little soul vibrating in happiness. Ned held up his hands and music started playing, vibrating through the air, and matching my song note for note. The echo flowers kept whispering my voice back as the music played.

“Didn’t know I could do that with explosions.” Ned said with a smile.

“same kinda magic can do a lotta different things. our patience magic, well, ya’d call it telekinesis, can form other things, not just grab onto stuff. my bro hasn’t figured that out yet and he probably won’t. i used ta fear the day he’d get a good grip on his magic, but he doesn’t seem too interested in learnin’ more’n he has ta and it’s different fer everyone.” Sans explained. 

“Ya know, beings with the ability to use magic are extremely rare and on my homeworld, you’re persecuted and burned alive, but magic is also abundant, and magic flows much like how air does, so even if you had no magical ability, it would flow into your creations.” Ned reminisced. “I could never really practice magic, so I could never really know what I could do with it.” Ned drifted off and looked sad.

“it’s a way a life down here. it’s everywhere, hell, you fought against it. humans who have it naturally are rare and usually, it’s not powerful. pay said she had some ta begin with, but there was the fact that she didn’t believe it existed, so how powerful it was, we’ll never know. but we know one thing, it’s gotten stronger. the larger a soul, the more magic it can hold. hers soaked it up like a sponge.” Sans explained. Ned continued using his magic for music, but he started to get a little more animated as we continued. I laughed at him, looking like he was conducting.

“They like the music. It warms me from the inside out, they’re almost singing along.” I smiled. It was true, I could feel the vibrations change as if they were humming.

“Well, I think I should to practice this more then.” Ned smiled back. “It’s definitely worth practicing, even if it is explosion magic at its core.”

“ya aren’t exploding us. as long as ya got the hang of it, ya should be fine.” Sans told Ned, waving it off.

“I never really cared about my magic to be honest, I was always forced to use it for destruction, not creation.” Ned looked a little guilty.

“feels good, don’t it?” Sans laughed. “i was corrupted and i wasn’t using my magic like i do now either. it was too much work, now, fer the right reasons, it’s effortless. magic can have many sides ta it and it’s different in everyone. if ya can, how you learn and what you learn is true ta you. sorry, if i’m gettin’ all knowledgeable ‘bout it, but how it works and why is my area. like how yer soul is made up a determination and justice, an’ results in perseverance. that’s a weird one, usually it’s patience and determination.” Sans shrugged. 

“What’s so weird about Determination and Justice? Don’t they normally go hand in hand? I mean, ya need the Determination before you can have the spark of Justice to do anything.” Ned pointed out keeping pace with us.

“We see souls in colors. Seven different aspects for seven different colors. We all have different amounts unique to ourselves, so each color is unique in itself. The color spectrum goes hand in hand with what usually makes up what. So, you see, Patience is a light blue and Determination is red. In between that is Perseverance, which is purple. The results of the drive to move forward and to keep at it without getting too frustrated are to keep going no matter what happens.” I explained further. “However, red and yellow don’t usually make purple.” 

“Ok, that makes sense, I guess. You both see souls in color, and those colors tell ya what the person’s core personality is like?” Ned asked.

“trust me, that’s the light explanation. ya get inta a lotta physics otherwise.” Sans told him.

“Alright, I guess I’ll just find time to make sense of this later, right now, I got a mission.” Ned replied.

“Hope Waterfall was everything you expected. We’re out of danger, for now. It shouldn’t be much longer now. We just have to take the elevator. And no, the laboratory up here is not where we’re going. Gaster needs his own space to keep idiots from touching his things.” I smirked as we walked past a familiar sentry post with snow still on the roof and reached a rope bridge suspended above magma. 

“Ya know, I feel like a "Do Not Enter" sign would be perfect right next to the rope bridge.” Ned laughed.

“it’s secure. the ropes are there in case the wood holding up the bridge burns.” Sans smiled sharply. I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not worried about that.” Ned replied. “If I felt like devoting the resources to it, I could bathe in lava, here watch.” Ned took off his boots and jumped feet first into the lava. A few seconds later, an explosion sent Ned flying into the air and he landed on his face in the snow on Sans’s sentry post. “I forgot about that…” Ned jumped down from the sentry post roof and he put his boots back on.

“smart move, buddy. ya gotta know what charges ya up and ya can’t take too much. even we have to disperse magic once a year.” Sans sassed.

“Sans!” I could feel myself flush and I elbowed him.

“Hey, it’s been years since I had to do anything like that!” Ned looked embarrassed, “But yeah, the lava was hotter than I thought and I couldn’t disperse the energy fast enough.” Ned raised an eyebrow. “And I think you two disperse your magic a little more often than that. Judging from last night, I’d also say you dispersed a few more things too.” He smirked. I wanted to disappear. Why did Sans want to get me to scream like that all the time? Sans laughed in response.

“it don’t work like that. monsters aren’t made of flesh and bone, we don’t have the same stuff ta reproduce.” Sans chuckled.

“So wait, you weren't rockin’ her like a hurricane last night?” Ned asked.

“Shutupshutupshutup!” I had to be beet red by now. I had closed my eyes and tightened my fists.

“Wait, let me take off my boots first, I ain’t readyyyyy…!” Ned yelled as he sounded like he was falling. I opened my eyes and he was gone. Another explosion detonated and he flew back up, landing on his face again, but this time with melted boots. “Damn it, that's the second time I prematurely detonated!” Ned sighed, pissed off. “And this time my shit broke!” Sans was laughing hysterically, tearing up, and throwing his body back in a full on belly laugh, which was impressive, since he didn’t have one.

“premature detonation happens ta the best of us!” Sans snorted.

“Oh my god, Sans! Stop!” I knocked at his ribcage with my fists.

“That’s fair, but still, two times in one night, that's just embarrassing for me. I mean, come on, once is bad enough.” Sans fell on the ground, rolling in laughter, while I teleported behind the sentry post. “Sorry Patience, I swear it will be different this time, I promise.” Ned called out to me. “It can’t happen a third time, I swear it.” Ned cracked up.

“...that’s what they all say…” my meek voice rose. Ned burst out laughing hard at that.

“that’s it! i’m officially dead!” Sans managed to get out, gasping for air.

“Da fuck are you talking about?” Ned asked Sans. “Weren’t you already dead to begin with?”

“He was born that way!” I started laughing a little too.

“And you fucked it!” Ned didn’t miss a beat, laughing even harder, now forced to sit down. All of us suddenly noticed the torso moving away from Ned and he drew his pistol, shooting off its legs. “Bad Jaxx, bad, I was making friends!” Sans immediately tried to bury my head into his jacket the second shots went off, but I still saw it. Ned shot off the head, catching it and then tossed it into the magma. It blew up as it sunk into the liquid rock. “Well, at least it wasn’t me this time.” Ned said calmly.

“Maybe we should keep moving.” I said quietly.  

“Sorry, about that, but I gotta stop him somehow.” Ned spoke softly. “Where to?”

“‘cross the bridge. doc said meet ‘im in the core, right?” Sans asked me and I nodded.

“Alright, your world, your right of way.” Ned stood by the bridge gesturing for us to go first. We crossed the bridge and once we saw the lab, changed directions to enter the elevator.

“'ere, pay.” Sans shrugged off his jacket and gave it to me as usual. I zipped it up and buried my face in the fur hood. “hope you gotta plan, ‘cause i only got one jacket and it was already jacked.” Sans told Ned.

“Why would I need a plan?” Ned joked.

“Alphys knows what humans look like. Besides the Ruins Keeper, King Asgore, Sans and Gaster, she’s the only other monster you have to worry about. The Ruins Keeper only skims the outside area for food. Asgore is usually by the barrier, or the way out, Gaster is more likely to study you than use your soul and Sans-”

“i don’t care.” Sans cut me off.

“But Alphys, will experiment on you until you die and then give your soul to Asgore or Gaster. She might not look like much, but she’s versatile when she needs to be.” I warned Ned, my hood falling.

“fuckin’ teacher’s pet.” Sans grumbled.

“Teacher’s pet? Sounds like she might be an introvert, does she got anything she likes?” Ned asked curiously.

“Anime mostly. A lot of trash is salvaged and some of it she got into. We bypassed the dump in Waterfall. She could be there, or the Lab, but mostly likely the Core.” I sighed.

“Perfect.” Ned reached into his pocket and he pulled out his eye thing. “This is basically a headset with a single glass lens and a microphone. We call ‘em eye lenses. I got a fresh cue of anime, as well as a mission record and I also uploaded all the action on here, and we also got torso.” Ned laughed. “Besides, I’ve watched some anime before, I’ve seen one or two that’s similar to my life.” Sans looked at me with a glint in his eye.

“’member that one we bor-”

“Shut up, Sans!” I cut him off as he started laughing.

“Oh, which one did ya borrow? By the way Patience, that’s a nice shade of red on you.” Ned smirked and raised an eyebrow again.

“We were playing a stupid game!” I said fast.

“it ain’t stupid, it’s fun. heh, heh, heh.” Sans laughed.

“What was it about?” Ned asked.

“You’re lucky we’re in the elevator…” I pulled the hood up again, trying to hide. 

“Whatcha ya gonna do? Throw me into magma again?” Ned laughed. “What was it about?” he asked again.

“main characters got fucked. pretty damn good too.” Sans laughed as I shrunk further.

“It was a hentai, wasn’t it?” Ned shook his head. “Well, that’s one way to get into anime.” Ned chuckled.

“It was a stupid game and a joke… I didn’t realize he could actually do it…” I repeated quietly.

“What game?” Ned asked.

“me’n pay got cards. when we’re feelin’ like spicing it up…” Sans started laughing again, while I tried my best to disappear in the corner. Ned reached behind him as if it was a memory reflex, but his hand went through air.

“Well shit, I forgot I handed that over to ya. I kinda feel naked without my backpack.” Ned said sheepishly. “Um, Patience, ya mind getting my bag for me?” Ned asked me. I made a face.

“It’s several jumps back, but alright.” I shrugged. I was still in the same spot where I put it. The shed barely got used. I looked around at the various rusty traps. They were still sharp. Maybe it was a good idea to get rid of them for some space. Well, not right now… I grabbed Ned’s bag and jumped back.

“Thank you.” Ned reached into his bag and he pulled out a pair of dice with a pad of paper. He handed Sans the dice and he wrote down a few things on the pad of paper. “Here Sans, for when you want to spice things up again.” Ned said with a malicious smile. Sans smiled as he read what was written down, and I pulled at the pad so I could see too. It was a guideline to several different things involving sex.

“similar ta our game. ‘cept we just take turns. ours is more specific.” Sans laughed with a sharp smile. He dropped one of the dice as he shifted his arms again and Ned looks down.

“Four, Patience’s choice.” Ned looked at Sans with a not so sorry look. “Sorry buddy, you're boned.” he laughed.

“it ain’t bad. i think it’s kinda hot.” Sans chuckled while leaning into my space. I wanted to wipe that smile off his face so badly. In a second, I knew exactly how to and embarrass him at the same time. My hand shot out and yanked his collar, jerking him forward.

“That’s all I know how to do right, but if you like it… I’m sure I can help ya out.” I smiled back, while his grin slackened and red dusted his cheeks. “But… we could do this…”



“…I could always tickle the insides of your ribs…” i shivered. “…or lightly caress your vertebrae one at a time as you rattle more and more until I hit your favorite one…”

“sh-shit. i’m boned.” i muttered and felt my warm cheeks get hotter. ned laughed as he watched my reaction.

“With a gal like her, you better be prepared.” ned stated and patience laughed.

“That’s right, bone boy.” she told me coyly and could feel i started sweating. hell, i was salivating at the idea. “You’re too easy sometimes, calm down.” the elevator doors opened to a ramshackled building.

“core’s this way.” i mumbled. “sorry ‘bout the mess, but this is only the entrance. really can’t stop people from destroyin’ the place. i heard someone’ll finally clean it up sooner er later. the core itself is, well, you’ll see.” i led them through the conjoining door and a maze of white hallways with sections of glowing walls, stopping at a dead end. i pulled out a hidden panel and flipped a few switches and the wall parted, revealing a new path. “extra security. the doc lives here.” i sighed, explaining. 

“Interesting.” ned put his hand up to his chin.

“He’s in charge of every project going on and the ones he runs are the ones he finds the most interesting. He has a lot on his plate and only three close assistants. Don’t touch anything unless you know what it does.” patience warned. 

“Alright, I won’t.” ned said as he surveyed around, looking uneasy. as we continued deeper into the core, open rooms with various machines and computers were passed. in one of them, there was some muttering and a few curses as alphys in her filthy glasses emerged from one of those rooms. she froze, her glasses slipping down her face in surprise.

“Metta-!” ned seemed to disappear and reappear, slipping between the black part of my soul vision. it was so fast, i almost didn’t catch him until he picked her up, clamping a hand over her snout, cutting off her cry.

“Shhhh!” ned hushed her. “Say the wrong thing and you will find yourself lacking a head, am I understood?” she nodded her head nervously. “Now, I’m going to take my hand off your mouth and we are going to have a friendly little chat, just you and I, ok?” ned slowly removes his hand from her mouth and he sets her down. “Now, my name is Ned Hunter and from what others have told me your name is quite possibly Alphys, if I am not mistaken.”

“C-c-cold…” alphys shivered. “H-h-h-how the hell did S-S-S-Sans get you to c-c-c-come here?! I-I wanted to p-p-personally get a human soul!” alphys said in her nasally voice, weakly, almost whining as she shook.

“Well, it just so happens that I have one to spare, so let’s make a deal, I’ll give it to you and in return you don’t tell anyone I’m human, sound fair?” ned set down the small spiky monster and her face brightened.


“yeah, al. don’t worry ‘bout this one.” i told her, smiling widely hoping she’d get the idea i had plans later down the line for ned.

“That torso that’s leaning against the wall, it has a human soul. What you do with it is up to you, but you cannot let it get away from you, it’s too dangerous if it regenerates its limbs.” he warned her.

“Alphys, darling! Did you call me? Oh my! It seems we have one more person than allowed.” well, it was just too good to be true that the fucking remote control box didn’t burst in anyway.

“The fuck is that thing, it looks incomplete.” ned pointed at him.

“mettaton.” i grumbled.

“Darlings, are you going to defend the human I see?” he pulled out a rusty chainsaw, revving the motor. here we go again with this bullshit. i could’ve put a stop to it, but i kinda wanted to see where this went.

“Aw, look, it’s got a sharp pointy thing, um, little robot you shouldn’t play with that, it’s a dangerous tool.” ned said as he drew yet another combat knife.

“Ah, yes, thank you darling! I’ll have to tell my viewers not to try this at home. I’m a pro-professional.” his voice skipped once as he rushed at ned, chainsaw up. ned blocked it with his knife, sparks flying everywhere.

“You really need to put that down, ya box of bolts, ya can get someone hurt with that thing.” ned warned as he grit his teeth. patience was jumping up and down excitedly behind me, trying to get someone’s attention, the sleeves of my jacket flopping. i kept my stance in front of her, blocking her from the psychotic box.

“And why should I, darling? You’re going to be star when you’re put in the arena as a prize! But first we must get rid of this body. Too messy.” he tisked. 

“You can try.” ned smirked. he pushed mettaton back and as he reeled back, ned took his knife and stabbed the chainsaw, breaking its chain. the chain flew and it was going to fly towards us, but ned lifted his other arm and the chain wrapped around it when it should have cut his hand clean off. oh, that hunk of metal looked as confused as a box could be.

“Then let’s see how you survive my QUIZ SHOW!” a spotlight beamed on mettaton and ned.

“The fuck is this flamboyant robot doing?” ned asked, clearly confused.

“I’m sorry darling, but this is a family show, penalty for swearing and asking a question on a quiz show!” an electronic shock flew, towards ned, shocking his knife out of his hand. ned looks at his fried knife. it had melted to the floor. so much for weapons.

“DAMN IT THAT WAS MY LAST KNIFE! I FUCKING FORGED THAT ONE MYSELF! GET OVER HERE YOU BLASTED BOX OF BOLTS AND WIRES!” he sounded angry… ned charged toward mettaton and he tackled him through a wall. i winced. sorry doc. “Ya shoddy piece of hardware!” when the dust cleared from the wall, we found ned on top of mettaton, ready to to rip off one of his arms by twisting it.

“H-hey! I-I w-w-worked hard on him!” alphys yelled as ned tore it off.

“Ya shoulda thought of the weakness in the shoulders then!” ned retorted. he got up and dropped the arm. ok, as much as i was enjoying this, patience was starting to get more and more animated and she had to conserve her energy.

“hey! mettaton! i think yer human sensors are off. that guy can use magic, he ain’t human, but ‘e brought one.” i decided to say after watching mettaton’s arm hit the floor with glee.

“Here, let me show ya.” ned put his hand on mettaton’s cracked monitor and he detonated a controlled blast, forcing mettaton to make an indent in the floor. damn it, i couldn’t just try to destroy him if he got too annoying, the bright side to this was i could knock him around as much as i wanted. ned got back up, walked over to the torso, then picked it up and he showing his buddy to mettaton. “That’s your human ya stupid hunka metal.”

“Terribly sorry, Dar-Dar-Darling! Alphys! I must be recalibrated! Mistakes like that will reduce the number of my viewers, literally.” mettaton said, as he pried himself out of the ground.

“Recalibrated, that thing needs to be rebuilt! If you’re going to send that thing into a coliseum, it’s going to get ripped apart!” aw, don’t ruin my hopes, ned. don’t fuck it up.

“Oh no, Darling! I’m the announcer! I’m always on the hunt for humiliation, torture and dustings!” mettaton announced.

“heh, heh, you shoulda seen what ‘e did to my bro and everyone below ‘im!” i laughed, reminiscing yesterday.

“Oh, do sp-spill!” mettaton said eagerly.

“M-M-Mettaton! You wanted to be r-r-recalibrated!” alphys insisted.

“You might also want to reinforce the shoulders.” ned looked at alphys.

“what shoulders?” i snickered.

“I-I-I don’t understand! Th-th-th-they’re supposed to hold up to t-t-t-two hundred thousand pounds of pressure!” alphys said, frustrated.

“Hold up two hundred thousand pounds of pressure is different than withstanding two thousand pounds of torque.” ned responded. “Here look at these specs,” ned takes off his eye lens and he put it on alphys’s face momentarily. “Those red spots represent torque and those blue spots represent pressure. See how the numbers differ from red to blue?”


“Exactly, Mettaton here, can hold up to two hundred thousand pounds under optimal conditions, but its joints can only handle about two thousand pounds of torque.” ned took his eye lens back. “In other words, anyone who can exert that much force to the joints in that twisting fashion, will literally rip off a limb, as I just did.” ned offered alphys the torso. “Now, back to the deal before hand, do you accept my terms?”

“Yes!” alphys hopped excitedly.

“Good, I’m glad.” ned handed the torso off to alphys. “Now remember, don’t let it regenerate its limbs and don’t feed it after midnight.”

“Wh-what happens?” alphys asked.

“It will most likely try and kill you, and that midnight thing, it’s a joke about a movie that the humans made a long time ago.” ned shrugged.

“M-Mettaton?” alphys asked as she wobbled with the torso. “C-can you m-make sure that d-d-doesn’t happen?” mettaton took the torso from her.

“Of course, Alphys darling! I get more footage of what the people want!” he laughed menacingly.

“See ya around, ya clanker.” ned called after mettaton as he wheeled down the hall transporting the torso to another room and alphys followed him, eager to start right away. “Hey, Alphys,” ned walked up behind her. “I should probably oversee the experiments if it’s alright with you.” he put his hand on her shoulder. “I will not interfere I just wish to observe.” ned said uncomfortably. alphys’s grin grew toothy and twisted.

“He has higher levels than you, Sans.” she said disdainfully. as if i didn’t know that, but i played it cool as ned looked at me, confused. i shrugged.

“don’t worry ‘bout it.” i told ned. “i get ta choose what i do. killin’ ain’t any use ta me.” i shot back, growling.

“Paige! Don’t hang out with a loser like that, puh.” alphys spat. pay whispered to me her response, which was a lot nicer than what i responded with.

“she says stick it.” i told alphys nastily. ned laughed.

“That guy, a loser, you're rather funny.” ned rubbed alphys’s head like she was a small child. “That ‘loser’ could kill me with ease, he’s stronger now, because he chooses not to.” ned chuckled. “And last time I checked that bucket of fried hardware ya made, couldn’t beat me.” ned said in a low serious voice.

“E-eep.” she froze, flinching at ned’s touch and tone of voice. i wasn’t too surprised he thought that. in a sense i was glad he knew, but on the other hand if he underestimated me, he knew he was dead. i grinned hard.

“i found better ways ta humiliate people, jus’ by existin’. you know i ain’t easy ta kill, otherwise, i’d be dust a long time ago. that’s. my. job.” i sneered at her. patience tugged at my arm. 

“Looks like your boo there is tellin’ ya, you need to do something, don’t worry about me, I got plenty of ways to find my way home, like I got this huge anime Que all lined up for myself as I tried to figure out how to kill that thing, but it’s now up for trade if anyone is interested.” ned looked at alphys.

“A-anime?!” alphys squeaked in excitement. “Wh-what kind?”

“Action, slice of life, Mecha, horror, maybe some hentai, not sure, I expected to go on a long trip, so I got as much as I could.” ned responded. alphys brightened.

“D-do you have Mew Mew Kissy Cutie? I’m missing the origin episode and the fourth movie!” 

“Let me check.” ned’s eye lens changed color and a bunch of backwards words in a different language flowed over the lens. then it stopped. “I got it in its raw form, I can translate it if ya want.” ned said, sounding helpful. “But if I do that, I’ll probably ask a favor from ya later.” alphys let out a fangirl screech, her tail swishing excitedly. we all flinched from the noise. future reference, do not give alphys anime, i cataloged.

“Al-Al-Alphys, darling, you’ve almost shattered my soul container with that dreadful noise!” mettaton called from the room he was in.

“METTATON, HE HAS MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE!” alphys was near hyperventilating and latched onto ned. ned almost fell over from her.

“I’m gonna have to agree with the clanker, that noise made my ear bleed.” ned said, louder than normal as he takes a cloth out of his backpack and dabs his ear. patience went over to ned and tugged on his arm while alphys hopped excitedly around him. i knew immediately what she wanted to do. she beckoned him to lean down so she could whisper. ned gave her a sign for ‘one moment’, pulled out a pen and a pad of paper, and he handed them to her. she scribbled out what she wanted to say fast, holding the pen through the sleeve of the jacket and beckoned him down again before she gave him the paper, green light leaking through her fingertips peeking out of the sleeve as she reached up for his ear, then she paused to write more. ned gave patience a smile and a thumbs up, then he ate the paper. she giggled softly at him eating the paper while i gave him an odd look. “What? I needed the roughage.” ned retorted.

“you are so weird. ya make no sense ta me, but whatever.” i shrugged, barely stopping myself from saying human. patience started pulling me to start moving. “right. we’re going. i didn’t forget ya.”  

“For crying out loud, just call me a fucking mutate it’s so much easier!” ned called loudly. “It might be an insult in my world, but here, to me, it’s just a word that's the basically the truth.” ned looked at pay, then at me. “Besides, muty is the real insult that grinds my gears.” ned told us with a sinister smile.

“heh, yer soul says otherwise.” i shot back at him from down the hall. “might be warped, but you can’t hide what you are, what you were and who you are forever. so let me ask you a question, buddy. who’s the real monster here?” my words had a veiled sense that went over almost everyone in the underground.  

“The answer, the one who refuses to change for the better.” ned replied. i could feel a smirk growing on my face. it was a trick question if you answered.

“ya know, that means most of us are. i was forced. i’ll admit i wasn’t willing ta change what i had. do i want to now? no, but i’d rather have a live family instead of dusting others over their dust. so does that make me a monster?” i asked genuinely.

“Coulda fooled me, considering a family man is better than a mass murdering monster.” ned didn’t miss a beat. “Especially when that family man has the potential to kill what folks on my planet call a dragon threat.”

“heh, it just ain’t worth my time, murderin’. yeah, i coulda had a lotta people wrapped ‘round my fingers, but you wouldn’t get the concept of bein’ forced like i was.”

“Oh, the irony will come soon enough.” he grinned back.

“i guess it will and ya know, it ain’t bad ta like the results. i ain’t arguin’ ‘bout who’s worse or who’s colder. jus’ what makes a monster? think about it.” i shrugged.

“I’ll dwell on that for a while, see ya around, ya playboy skelly.” i froze. i was waiting for it, keep going…

“heh, see ya, ya pretty lil fuckboy.”    

“Good thing I’m able ta keep ya warm at night.” ned turned around and flipped me off, following alphys, after blowing me a kiss. i wanted to disappear, i was starting to sweat, but i winked and put a finger through a hole made from my other hand, while he was blowing the kiss. after they turned a corner, patience took her face out of the shadow of the hood, frowning.

“You twisted it.”

“welcome ta hell, sweetheart.” i chuckled.

“Come on.” my collar tinted in green as she dragged me backwards and i wheezed feeling like i was being throttled. she did not sound happy. “Not a smart move, saying I forced you to bond. For that, I’m changing my choice and you’d better not make a sound.” she smiled wickedly. i was in for it and holy hell whatever it was, it was going to be hot.

Chapter Text

Sans kept looking at me suspiciously as I dragged him. He was wondering when and what I was going to do. I let him. If he was going to pull that I forced him into this relationship, then I had every right to be mad… right? I shook my head. Right. Where was Fuku when I needed to actually talk to another girl?

“sweetheart… y’know… i’m inta this… but… i can walk…” I was still stringing Sans along.

“You can’t just say things like that.” I stopped.

“pay, ta be fair, ya kinda did. i coulda said no, but i didn’t, so really… it’s both a our faults and i like it.”

“I’m still mad you said it like that.” I turned back and smiled widely. He gulped and I reached out grabbed his collar with my hand and kept dragging him. He was heavy for a skeleton, but the look on his face was something I couldn’t make happen every other day. When we got to Gaster’s main room he used, I let him go. “Come on, get up and walk.” I demanded.

“Ah! There you are, my dear! I was beginning to wonder what took you so long.” Gaster looked up from his desk.

“We brought a friend, that’s all.” I told Gaster uneasily.

“an’ ‘fore ya start yellin’ at ‘er, ‘e’s only ‘ere ta make sure things go ‘is way an’ nothin’ gets destroyed.” Sans mumbled. His sockets widened as I sneakily formed magic inside his ribcage.

“Is there anything the matter, Sans?” Gaster asked.

“n-no. i-it’s nothin’ important. jus’ fergot s-s-somethin’.” He struggled to say.

“In any case,” he turned his back on Sans, who started panting and red blush broke out on his face. “They haven’t formed as of yet, now have they?” Gaster asked.

“No, but something new definitely happened.” I looked at Sans to help me out, pausing the squirming blob of magic in his ribcage. He was already a drooling mess.

“Sans, what is the meaning of this?” Gaster asked and he snapped to attention. I laughed innocently.

“Help me out, I'm not exactly sure what happened this morning.” I told him

“well, see, our friend was, uh, makin’ a basement an’ when he was usin’ ‘is magic while pay was down there… she felt like she got kicked an’ well… a blaster popped up… i think they dunno whose magic is whose an’ they rejected it…” Sans told him.

“Is this true?” Gaster turned back to me. Immediately Sans choked back any sound as I resumed squirming the mass of magic in his chest.

“I can tell you it felt like a huge kick from the inside and that’s about it. I saw the blaster, but I was busy feeling sick. I was really out of it.” I relayed. I was so close to his soul and he wasn’t trying to protect it at all as he shivered as quietly as he could. He liked the dangerous prospect of it hitting his soul, of course, it wouldn’t hurt him, it was green magic, so it just might not feel pleasant. Naughty, naughty, I thought to myself. “Other than those two things happening, I’m not quite clear on what happened.”

“Let’s take your readings and a closer look at the child.” Gaster started hooking me up to the soul viewer and raised the screen. “It is typical for children to take magic from where they can while growing. Most don’t realize it because of the short gestation time, but with you, boss monsters, have quite a while considering, and more chances to take different magic. It tends to be normal, however rejection is also normal if the child recognizes it is not a compatible magic. This… friend of yours… what kind of soul does he contain?” Gaster asked, calibrating the viewer.

“Perseverance.” I answered.

“And his secondaries?” he asked.

“Justice and Determination.” Gaster looked up immediately.

“I know of every monster that contains Determination as a secondary and a primary. There are not many. Who is it?” He asked.

“Well, um…” I started awkwardly.

“’e’s… human…” Sans got out for me.

“I should like to meet this friend of yours.” Gaster glared at both us. “You should have told me a human had fell and made it through.”


“Extraordinary.” Gaster ignored Sans. “Their soul has more than doubled in size since I last saw it and they have chosen already?” Gaster questioned as the small soul pulsed from pink to purple.

“too… early…”

“Sans, are you feeling alright?” Gaster asked as Sans slid facedown to the ground.

“’m tired…” I laughed softly at his bullshit as my magic encased his soul. He was also hiding a boner.

“He thinks it’s too early for them to completely decide. They were blue a little while ago.” I explained and he shifted his attention back at me.

“Does this affect you?” Gaster asked

“Yes, Sans said it was… I couldn’t really tell much of a difference.” I admitted.

“That is normal.” Gaster told me. “As you become more experienced, you may start noticing more. This is your first pregnancy?” he asked.

“Gaster, I’m about twenty-two. Yes, it is.” I reminded him, rolling my eyes.

“Yes, yes, of course, but human females, I do believe, are fertile at a younger age?” Gaster asked.

“Technically, yes. However, females tend not to be receptive to much until around sixteen. It’s different for every girl, though. It’s not recommended for a thirteen year old to go out and get pregnant, there’s usually health risks from a million different things, as well as the fact that mentally, they aren’t ready.” I explained awkwardly.

“What do you surmise is the mentally correct age for a woman to bear children?” Gaster asked. Sans groaned lowly from the ground, but he was once again, ignored.

“Um, usually around twenty? Again, that depends. Listen, I wasn’t a doctor by any means and that’s only my opinion. It might not be true.” I said, uncomfortably.

“I will keep that in mind. The rejection hasn’t caused any damage. Only in rare cases where it cannot be dispelled does it become a problem. Sans, I must get readings from you as well.” Gaster turned to him.

“don’t wanna…” Sans whined from the floor.

“I don’t understand what has gotten into you, Sans,” I snickered. “But you will not act like a child!”

“Sans, come on.” I popped the electrodes off me and pulled him up. His face was dusted a light red and left a puddle of drool on the ground.

“i am gonna fuck you hard tonight.” he hissed in my ear, low enough Gaster couldn’t hear.

“When don’t you?” I whispered back.

“fuckin’ tease…” he mumbled.

“What was that, Sans?” Gaster asked.

“nothin’.” Sans grumbled.

“Sans, do not test me.” Gaster said sternly, annoyed at him. “How do you put up with this?” Gaster asked me pointedly.

“A little Kindness, a little Determination and a whole lot of Patience.” I giggled. Gaster looked displeased with my answer. As soon as Sans was hooked up he started reacting differently.

“Sans! Keep still!” Gaster sighed as Sans squirmed. I laughed quietly to myself as Sans started sweating again, trying to obey Gaster. When he stopped moving, Gaster stared almost uncomfortably at Sans’s soul as it seemed to be moving slightly here and there in sudden jerks. Sans’s breathing was labored and he was barely holding himself up at this point, his face bright red.

“Are you alright, Sans honey?” I asked sweetly. He growled at me and I smiled back. “Words might help.”

“you know exactly what that means.” He continued growling.

“Can you explain this?” Gaster asked as Sans flinched.

“n-no.” Sans looked away from Gaster.

“Are you having problems controlling your magic as of late?” Gaster asked him. Sans groaned and slid down to the ground again, the electrodes coming off of him.

“I think it’s just his lazy streak.” I laughed. “We have been bonding a lot. He might be a little more tired than he’s been letting on?” I supplied. Sans groaned again. Gaster looked like he didn’t know what to believe. “What, Sans?” I asked.

“you an’ that kid are gonna kill me…”

“I sincerely doubt that.” Gaster sighed with a glint in his eye. “In any case Patience, the child is very close to forming. I expect you slow down. Rest if you need and above all else, make sure Sans is with you while you displace.”

“Oh, that’s one thing I wanted to tell you! See, if I mentally prepare to go through the Void, they start protecting themselves.” I told him.

“That’s wonderful to hear, however if they start forming while you are making a jump, it could be incapacitating and no one will know where to find you. As you know, the Void may have damaging effects on both you and the child if you stay too long and you will be vulnerable.” Gaster warned.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I told him.

“Now, I need to pick up the data I sent Alphys for.” Gaster sighed. “She should be ready by now.”

“Perfect, our friend should be with Alphys still. Come on Sans, time to get up.” I turned to him.

“…finally…” he mumbled as I let the magic in his ribcage fizzle out. He approached behind me. “sweetheart, you are going to get it.” he whispered lowly in my ear. In a flash I reached behind me and grabbed his collar again.

“Bring it on.” I whispered back.



“Alphys! I need the data I sent you for-”

we all walked into the sterile lab room, where we saw alphys was working. alphys jumped when gaster led the way in and the scalpel in her hand sliced through the soul, breaking it. i flinched watching that, but it had to be done one way or another. a loud, long scream of agony emanated from that thing’s newly regenerated head and it finally fell limp and silent. seeing some of the walls splattered red, it looked like mettaton had some fun hacking off limbs. of course, us being monsters, we weren’t used to that sight, so we had the stomach for it, but patience wouldn’t. i kept her closest to the door, but i knew she could see pretty much everything. however, i was sure she didn’t see the pile of limbs set aside in the corner. her gaze was unreadable under the hood, but she had to be horrified.  

“D-damn…” alphys muttered under her breath.

“Kill confirmed.” ned uneasily muttered to himself. he didn’t like seeing this anymore than we did.

“...Alphys....” gaster’s hands flashed to symbols of the same word in a quiet, but very angry voice. he was beyond pissed as his magic spiked at his emotion. i was glad i wasn’t on the other end of it this time. “You had a human soul?” she shrank from his violent violet eyes.

“Y-y-yes, s-s-sir…” she trailed off, too afraid to do anything else.

“... Alphys… what are the odds ya got a map of this place on hand?” ned looked like a frightened rabbit who didn’t know what to do at this point, even though he wasn’t the one the anger was directed towards. “I’ll do the translation in any language ya want, for the map.” ned said shakily. alphys pointed to a tattered scrap of paper on the wall as she shook under gaster towering over her. ned quickly looked over the map and headed for the door. “I’ll have Sans drop it off later, bye now.” one of gaster’s disembodied hands griped at ned’s shoulder.

“Stay, human.”

“I-I-I-I-I’d rather not…” ned started to stutter worse than alphys.

“I insist. It’s much more dangerous out there.” ned’s breathing went faster and his heartbeat skyrocketed.

“I’ve f-f-faired well s-s-s-so far.” ned stuttered out. he was in trouble and gaster wasn’t going to let him out of his grip for nothing.

“hey, doc, he’s already payin’ rent.” i pointed out to him. green symbols flashed in quick succession, catching our eyes. patience told gaster he was from another timeline and that he wasn’t staying for long.

“Y-y-y-yeah, what he s-s-s-said.” ned was trying to calm down, i could see it, but he wasn’t getting any better or worse.

“Very well, Paige. Would you at least consider a study while you stay?” gaster asked ned. gaster was actually very genuine about this. he didn’t exactly have the chance or the resources to understand humans and while pay was helpful, she wasn’t a sample size to take in account of variables.

“I-I-I’ve had a b-b-bad experience w-w-with those, s-s-so I’m gonna l-l-leave.” i could sense his magic starting to pool. not a good sign from him, since pretty much all he could do was explosions. patience suddenly shot her arm out forward, taking the hint ned needed his own space and putting him in a green shielded bubble. quick symbols told gaster that he was very important and he needed to calm down before he exploded. i watched as ned’s chest began to rise and fall in a better rhythm, and his panic attack seemed to subside.

“Yes, I know my dear, I understand he is important, but I insist on readings, even if from another timeline.”  there it was. ned started to panic again, finding himself now trapped instead of safe and set aside from us. he started to try and punch his way free from the green barrier. this was getting out of hand and gaster couldn’t see that he was the problem.

“doc, i don’t think ya should. i’ve seen what this guy can do and he’s scared shitless. this ain’t gonna end well. lemme do the readings so ‘e doesn’t flip out. there’s somethin’ more ta this.” i tried to reason with gaster while ned continued to panic and thrash in his bubble.

“Alphys, darling! I think I need some help reattaching my arm!” mettaton called out from across the hall.

“Go fix your project, Alphys, we will talk about punishment later.” gaster told her, just barely masking a growl as she passed by.

“he, uh, did that, so doc, i wouldn’t do anything stupid.” i shrank.

“I’m not as fragile as you are, Sans.” gaster scolded me while patience watched alphys walk down the hall. she dropped the hood.

“I’m sorry, but we need to go. I won’t be able to hold this forever and my Determination won’t hold up at this rate.” patience told us. “He was a little uneasy, but fine before.” ned started hitting the shielding harder, cracks appearing on it, which fixed themselves almost immediately. “You have our readings, we’ll get his.”

“I suppose.” gaster sighed. “I would have liked to see his abilities firsthand, but this reaction is not suitable for study.”

“Thank you. Sans, I need help.” patience turned to me.

“i gotcha, sweetheart.” i grabbed her hand, and started sharing my determination magic with her. as we picked up ned’s bubble, i could feel her struggle and i focused more on to giving her more. i could feel gaster’s stare and i tried to ignore it.

“Ned, you’re ok. No one, but I can get to you, understand?” patience tried to tell him, as we pulled him along with magic. ned, still frantically trying to get out of the bubble clearly was incapable of any higher cognitive thinking, acting like a trapped animal.

“he’s too far gone. ya need ta hold it together ‘til he starts talkin’. we can do it. let’s get ‘im home.” i told her and she nodded, feeling the rush of determination. ned started to calm down, as we exited outside, his punches cracked the shield less and less, until he stopped. wild eyed and breathing heavily, he sat down, holding his head.

“Wh-what happens if he doesn’t snap out of it?” pay asked me.

“he will. he’s calmin’ down. whatever got to ‘im was in the lab. keep moving. the farther away we get, the better he’ll be.” i answered back seriously. he seemed in control of himself, up until the point gaster came in. i wasn’t going to pry, but it looked like gaster at the very least reminded him of someone. no doubt, gaster was trying to fathom and tracking our movements right now. ned listened to us intently, still looking uneasily at his surroundings. when we made back to the elevator, pay sighed.

“I hope you’re right.” she said softly.

“i know i am. don’t panic like that, pay, ya aren’t gettin’ a clear look as his soul. there’s a time an’ place for being gentle and forceful. not everyone is gonna listen, this was one a those times. give ‘im his space. he knows now.” i tried to explain.

“Ok. I trust you.” pay said in the same tone as before. the door whirred open and we stepped back out into the heat of hotland, making our way to start crossing the bridge to waterfall.   

“C-c-can I get out of this thing?” ned asked us after we crossed it. boy, that tone of voice sounded like someone struggling to get out of a bottomless pit. real different from the usual. “I d-d-don’t feel so well.” pay wordlessly let him down and he rushed to one side of the bridge and he vomited. looking us straight in the eye after that, determined, he said, “I’m never going near that place again. If Alphys wants to trade with me, she’s gotta come to me.” ned panted.

“she’ll bitch at me about it. i’ll take care a it.” i rolled my eyes at the thought.

“Are you ok? Do you need water or anything?” pay asked him.

“I’m not going to be ok for a while, and yeah water would be nice right about now.” ned replied looking exhausted, wiping sweat off his face. she runs off for a moment back to hotland.

“ya look like a ya need a drink ‘stead a water. i ain’t askin’, but she might. i’ll warn her not ta.” i told him, casually walking over to my post.

“No, it’s fine, she doesn't have what it will take to trigger that again, just memories and instincts all firing at the same time, that’s all.” ned told me weakly, still panting.

“gaster doesn’t leave the lab unless it’s real important. ‘e won’t mess with ya. pay told ‘im you’re from another timeline. yer safe enough.” i dug around the inside of my post.

“Yeah, I gathered that from what the eye lens replayed for me.” ned looked vulnerable as he hesitantly walked over. welp, if there ever needed a time to actually kill him, i knew what to do. complex and simple plans of action went through my head. not yet. he hadn’t done much wrong. here, he was completely innocent, but technically, he wasn’t. i could wait. nothing he’d done so far told me he was going to try and kill out the underground… and if he did, well, he’d still answer to me.

“don’t tell, pay.” i pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a cup. “i don’t usually drink it anymore, unless i’m havin’ a bad time. ‘fore pay, it used ta help me sleep.” i told him as i poured a glass and handed it over to ned. he downed the whiskey and then he shook his head.

“I needed that.” ned said shakily. “It’s not the good stuff I keep in my bag, but that’s probably better right now.” he smiled. “That reminds me, I gotta find that dog couple, the ones that only lost one paycheck instead of two.” ned handed the glass back to me and i put them away before pay came back.

“and ya wonder why i racked up a tab.” i smirked. “you’ll find ‘em tonight at the bar.”

“Thank you, ya know, I’d offer ya some of my good stuff, but I don’t want ta get ya drunk right now.” ned chuckled.

“yeah, i get obnoxious and i more’n grabby with pay, which wouldn’t be appreciated outside.” i laughed back. ned set down his bag, took out a test tube a cap and pulled a keg from the bag.

“It’s no shot glass, but ya can save it for later.” he poured out some of the contents into the test tube, caped it and then handed it over to me. “Orange wind, it’s amazingly powerful, from my experience anyone who hasn’t sampled fire syrup, whatever that is, will get drunk from a single shot, hell I’ve gotten myself drunk just by it being absorbed into my skin.” i was gonna have fun with this one. i never had the time to actually get drunk during heat. i wondered what that was going to be like if that happened. hell, i was saving that, but at the mentioning of fire syrup, my face immediately grimaced. how did he know about that?

“thanks. fire syrup is hard ta come by. grillby holds it like his kid. he doesn’t sell it unless he sees the desperation and then, he waits a few days. i heard it tastes like the most unpleasant thick, runny thing and it doesn’t go down without burnin’ ya out. it ain’t fun ta watch. i had ta get it fer my bro once.” that was not a fun day. i got thrashed for getting it and thrashed for giving it. 

“That's unfortunate, and it sounds brutal, good thing this stuff tastes amazing.” ned replied.

“heh, i’m gonna enjoy this.” i smiled.

“Here.” patience came back with a half melted cup of water as i was looking at the orange liquid in the tube. ned recapped his keg and slipped it back into his bag.

“Thank you, Patience.” he took the water and he drank what was left of it slowly. “I needed that.” ned sighed after he finished the water.

“You’re welcome. What is that, Sans?” pay asked me suspiciously, noticing the object i was holding.

“apparently, a get drunk quick card.” i chuckled, pocketing it. we went forward into waterfall. 

“It’s basically super booze that tastes great.” ned looked at patience, like he was trying to gage her. “Your counterparts liked it, but didn’t get drunk off of it.”

“Fire syrup will do that to you. Terrible stuff.” she shivered. “I was too sick and dying to care though.”

“you got some too?” i asked. when did that happen?

“Yeah, I got sick in another universe. Looks like the effects stayed with all of us. I’d try some, but not yet.” she smiled, looking up at the cavern ceiling. well that explained a lot.

“From what I gathered, Century said it was a magical drink. So with that said, I think the only way to brew it properly, is to find someone who is incapable of using magic and teach them how to brew it, cause I can’t brew it and have it come out this strong.” ned shrugged.

“well, ya ain’t findin’ anyone ‘round here like that.” i laughed. it was true. there wasn’t any monster who couldn’t do without magic in some way.

“Well, looks like I got a monopoly on the best booze around, and honestly, only that dog couple will get any of it, other than you and Patience here, but she’s expecting.” ned said sheepishly.

“And that’s why I said, not yet. Since we’re out earlier than what I expected, I need to get ready for work.” patience sighed. great, being her, she wouldn’t just call it a day, even after that magic drain ned drove us through. she should be fine anyway, as long as she was smart. 

“don’t use anymore magic unless ya need ta, pay. i see what they do when they get drunk, ya need it.” i growled.

“I know. Bonding later tonight.” she smirked back quietly.

“heh, heh, heh…” i laughed back.

“Well, I’m going back to the lair I made. I should have everything working in a few hours. By the way, what time do the sentries get off work?” ned asked.

“They file in, in about an hour.” pay answered.

“Alright I’m off.” ned was about to take off when one of my senses went off. there was not supposed to be that kind of air current- i displaced several feet away and ned got hit by the randomly flying fridge, hard enough to knock off his melted boots and send him flying.

“shit. it’s meathead again.” i growled, realizing we were by the dump.

Chapter Text

“ALRIGHT, WHO’S THE WISEGUY?!” Ned got back to his feet a bit away from where he was standing, and he looked around.

“Congrats, you didn’t dust. I was aiming for easy EXP over there, but I guess you’re ok too.” The Aaron who tended to bother us slithered over. He sniffed. “And he’s got his girl, a good prize, and still smells as good as ever. ;)”

“Ugh, leave me alone, Aaron!” I told him in disgust.

“The fuck is this Capricorn knock off talkin’ about?” Ned looked at Sans and walked over to Aaron, cracking his knuckles individually.

“meathead, we told ya ta stay away from us. don’t want anything ta happen ta the rest of your body, do ya?” Sans asked, smirking and pointing out the scars on his shoulders. 

“Alright horsey, you’re going to go back to wherever you came from, or else I’ma gonna take ya to a glue factory.” Ned sounded extremely pissed, grinding his teeth.

“Ha! As if you could surprise me again with your cheap tricks. ;)” Aaron winked again, ignoring Ned, since seemingly he didn’t have any part in this.

“it ain’t me ya gotta be worrin’ about this time. we let ya go, with only two scars, he might not.” Sans laughed, sticking a thumb towards Ned.

“I could go for some eel skin boots.” Ned said with an evil smile and a glint in his eye. “After all, my boots were melted in magma earlier.”

“Yeah, you coulda dusted me, but you let me go, dude. What gives? Didn’t you know I’d come back? Now I’m taking your girl and dusting you.” Aaron laughed, completely ignoring Ned still.

“That’s it, I hate being ignored!” Ned charged at Aaron and jumped up. He flew right in front of Aaron’s face and in the moment he past it, he grabbed Aaron’s head and dragged it with him, his momentum taking both Aaron and himself down. Ned landed on his feet and Aaron’s head bounced off the ground. Huh, I guess he was a bumble. “That’s for throwing a fucking fridge at me.” Ned looked back at Aaron, and he walked over to him. He put his foot to his head and started to apply pressure. “So asshole, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t cave your face in.”

“Do it. Or are you too weak, like easy EXP?” Aaron laughed again.

“Fine, I’ll show you what this weakling can do.” Ned took his foot off Aaron’s face and he dropped a gun in front of him. “That, meathead, is a 444 bear killer revolver, loaded with incendiary rounds, use it and shoot me with it. I took the safety off, so all you have to do is point it at me and shoot, also a word of advice, aim for the head, because you’re only going to get one shot.” Ned walked away and turned around at a place almost no one could miss him at. “I’m waiting.” Aaron looked at the gun, which didn’t fit in his huge hands.

“c’mon, free EXP, dumbass.” Sans egged him. I was nervous, but I knew if Ned gave Aaron a gun willingly, then he would be fine… right? 

“Shuddup, trashbag!” Aaron took aim… pointing the barrel of the gun at himself.   

“Turn it around dumbass, you're going to kill yourself if you point it like that!” Ned walked back up to him, took the gun and rotated it to the correct position in Aaron’s hand. “That is the trigger, you pull it back towards you and a bullet flies out of this end.” He showed Aaron how to shoot the gun. Ned walked angrily back to his spot and he stared Aaron down.

“aww… i wanted ta see where ‘e hit ‘imself.” Sans sulked.

“Not helping, Sans!” I shot at him.

“I’ll give him a paintball gun later then.” Ned called to Sans. “Now you, dumbass, point and shoot, and don’t let the recoil hit you in the face.” Ned told Aaron, taking off his eye lens. Aaron took aim again and pulled the trigger, and despite the warning, he still hit himself in the face with his own hand. Ned bit the bullet in midflight, lighting his mouth, face and hair on fire. Taking this as a cue, he ran forward and punched Aaron in the face. The gun flung through the air as Aaron tossed it, now terrified of it. Ned bit down on the gun, catching it in his mouth, crushing it and igniting the other incendiary rounds inside, somehow lighting Aaron’s hand on fire, while his face blazed.

“HOT!” Aaron waved his hand and slithered quickly to the water, dousing his hand. Ned slowly walked to Aaron as he whimpered from the cooling water.

“So think I’m a weakling now, Mr. Can’t-Handle-a-Little-Fire?” Ned’s hair was still on fire. “Or do you get that I’m not at the bottom of the food chain?”

“Keep moving.” I told Aaron forcefully. “Don’t mess with us again...”

“Or I’m going to get a new ride, bitch.” Ned finished what I started to say. “What's it gonna be, Silver?” Ned asked Aaron, in an unnervingly calm voice.

“Just dust me already. I’m never livin’ down gettin’ beaten by that guy.” Aaron pointed to Sans. He shrugged in response.  

“Then dust yourself because no one in the present company is gonna do it, but then, if ya dust yourself then you’d be proving that you’re weaker than him.” Ned pointed at Sans, his hair still smoldering from the fire.

“Why the long face, Aaron?” I asked mockingly. “You get to see another day. C’mon boys, let’s go home.”

“You’re fucked one day, girlie.” Aaron told me as I turned my back. That didn’t sit well, so like anything else resolved around here, I turned to threats and teleported right in front of Aaron, making him flinch.  

“You don’t fuck with a boss monster and his mate.” I growled dangerously. I didn’t know I had that in me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ned flinch too.

“Ya know, Capricorn, she scares the shit out of me.” Ned said, wide-eyed as he turned around and walked on the path back to town, putting his eye lens back on.

“heh, that’s my girl.” Sans laughed affectionately, as I teleported back next to him.

“Good thing you picked the one little psycho who won’t try to kill anyone.” My voice was strained to sickly sweet and quiet.

“Yo.” Ned smiled as he made a peace sign.

“Right, since we know where Aaron is now, we should steer clear of the Temmie Village.” I took charge, starting to move forward, and brushing echo flowers to start my melody again.

“I feel like I needed that fight.” Ned said absentmindedly after we traveled a distance away from Aaron. I looked back and his hair was still smoldering.

“every once in a while, that determination’s a bitch. ya still got a point ta prove, buddy?” Sans asked, patting his own skull.

“What are you doing?” Ned asked. “What about my head?” He reached up and felt his charred hair. “OH SHIT, I’M STILL ON FIRE!!!” Ned started patting his head to put out the fire. “SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!” Ned looked around. “WATER! WHERE’S THE WATER!?!”

“Right there, jeez, you’d think you’d remember, it’s glowing for Pete’s sake.” I rolled my eyes and Ned ran over to the water and dunked his head in.

“Normally the fire goes out by now without water.” Ned retorted when he came back up for air.

“Says the guy who lit himself on fire and wasn’t fazed.” I laughed. Ned reached into his pack and put his hand into the water.

“Ya know what?” Ned took it out of the water. It was a water pistol and he started spraying us. “You get to suffer too.” Ned laughed. I simply pulled up a shield around myself and stuck out my tongue.

“hey, no fair, pay!” Sans grimaced as the water hit him. Ned threw another water pistol at Sans.

“There now it’s fair.” Ned laughed.

“Suuuuure.” I rolled my eyes and teleported right behind Ned. “But ya know, I don’t care if I get one because, whoops!” I pushed Ned into the water, using my magic to help me. He seemed to struggle back up to the surface of the water.

“Damn it!” Ned shouted and I giggled. Score one for me!

“Don’t ya just love traveling the Void?” I asked.

“I’m going to need a change of clothes.” Ned looked at his soaked clothing while getting out of the water.

 “i’ll see what shirts my bro doesn’t use anymore. all’s he wears is that stupid armor.” Sans laughed, making a point his water gun was down, so the same didn’t happen to him. He was amused by what just happened, but wanted to stay on my good side.

“I would’ve stolen my fair share from him, but I have possessive over there.” I rolled my eyes again.

“yer gonna stink like me and like it. nobody’s touchin’ you.” Sans shot back immediately.

“Well, either way, I have a single change of clothing for now. I figured I’d just make my own later. You have no idea how many shirts or pairs of pants I go through.” Ned told us. “But still,” Ned looked at his melted boots. “If somebody hadn’t thrown me into a magma pit, I’d still have a fresh pair of combat boots.” Ned glared at me. I smiled, looking away and giggled.

“No comment, but I can get you another pair at the shop, if you want.” I told him.

“I would, if you would kindly.” Ned’s glare eased up on me.

“God knows how much credit I racked up just for saying no to the innkeeper…” I sighed.

“wait, she gave ya credit for that?” Sans asked.

“Basically. I didn’t even give her the idea either.” I smiled again.

“and ya don’t get me any cinnamon bunnies?” he whined.

“I don’t get them! I would if they had the right price, and if I did, I would’ve shared like the one you stole.” I crossed my arms. “Maybe once in a while for them, I would.” I rubbed my abdomen, thinking warmly about our child. Then I froze, hearing music. Well, that was just great.  

“Ya know what, Sans, I think ya should pay for it, just walk in when the shopkeeper is there, drop enough money for a cinnamon bun in front of her and walk out. Don’t even say a word, just walk away, and let her figure it out.” Ned smirked.

“heh, always wondered if she actually saw me or not, but knowin’ how she treats thieves… she probably didn’t. i’d try that just ta see the look on her face.” Sans had the same smirk.

“Shh… do you guys hear that?” I asked them. Ned’s ear twitched.

“Yeah, what is that?” Ned asked softly, reaching where his knives were previously.

“Napstablook.” I said, looking at the water as it started to vibrate from a low beat.

“SHIT! dance!” Sans yelled as he attempted to.   



 ned took a low bow in front of me.

“May I have this dance, skelly?”

“uh…” i looked at patience and she pushed me at ned. so much for help.

“You won’t survive at this rate.” she told me.

“…but i-i-”

“Shut your damn whore mouth and get your bony ass over here otherwise we are both dead.” ned softly scolded me. “Just let me take the lead and we will dance our asses out of here, got it?”

“…fine….” i grumbled as pay laughed.

“I wish I had a camera on this phone.” she smirked. ned took my hands and started to pull me along in a tango.

“Now, Mr. Left-Foot, we are going to continue this until we are out of earshot of this music.” ned told me softly and directed us both away from the music, while pay followed, moving one step back and two steps forward in a calculated timing, while swaying her body. i wanted to be dancing with her and fail more than this. i grumbled lowly to myself, not pleased at this. i had to keep reminding myself i was going to survive for the kids.

“Do you really like it?” napstablook asked as he appeared. he looked like a run of the mill bedsheet ghost, maybe a little more menacing. however, napstablook was one of the more tame monsters. it still didn’t mean he wouldn’t kill you for the wrong answer.

“Yep!” pay smiled and laughed. ned continued to dance with me farther and farther away and she followed, waving to the now blushing ghost.

“watch out fer dummies. they’re his cousins.” i grumbled, noticing we were headed deeper into the dump. “we could go this way, but uh, the docks are faster and less dangerous.”  i warned him and he changed the direction we were going.

“Thanks for the tip.” ned said. we were almost out of earshot of the music.

“HEY NERDS! You can stop dancing, he’s a pain in the ass, but when I come out, he doesn’t mess with anyone!” undyne called, leaning against a dummy by her house as we passed it.

“Oh, thank god.” ned let me go.

“fucking finally.” i sighed in relief. 

“Hello Undyne.” ned said with a smile, waving. he was being friendly. i moved away slightly just in case it set undyne off.

“Whadaya want, pipsqueak?” she asked narrowing her eye.

“A training buddy if that’s alright, I just got back from handing over that soul, and it looks like I’m stuck here for a while.” don’t tell her. she doesn’t understand, you idiot!

“HA! Aren’t we all!” undyne laughed.  

“laugh.” i elbowed an already smirking ned as pay joined us.

“Yeah, I guess you're right. So how about it, want to train with the demon of Terria721?” he asked cockily.

“Well, I’ve had a lotta monsters claim they were demons, but only one lived up to it, so why not see what else ya got? I like a challenge.” undyne gave ned a sharp grin.

“Alright, but be warned, I’m not as strong as ya, however, my speed and training more than make up for it.” ned smiled. “So don’t be afraid to be a little rough.” ned took off his backpack and approached undyne, cracking his knuckles and rotating his shoulders. “I’ll meet you guys later, I need to access her potential.” ned called to us. “Now Undyne, what kind of music ya like?”

“Ok!” pay waved at them as we started walking towards the place to cross one of the many rivers. undyne and ned waved back.

“Just punch me in the face, nerd!” i heard undyne respond to ned’s question. the whack that followed echoed loudly.

“Impressive, that hit normally stops a hover tank. I don’t mind fighting like that, but when facing a stronger more durable opponent, I like to use Judo, you ok with that?”

“Lay it on me!” their voices started to fade as we walked out of the cavern.

“if you don’t go ta work…”

“I’m going to work, because we need the gold and we will never stop needing gold, especially if you want them to be fed right and the amount of things we still need.” i sighed.

“i’m workin’ on the food thing an’ if we’re havin’ trouble i can always go ta the lab fer that. so yeah, we might need some stuff, not much, right?” i asked.

“We still need a crib and toys. Actual toys, not stuff you think would be fun to play with or sex toys, maybe something they can chew on if they’re going to be anything like a human baby.” she said worriedly.

definitely something to chew on. somethin’ hard er durable. i’ll come up with somethin’.” i scratched my head. “an’ i’d rather get them a bed ta be honest an’ jus’ adjust it fer them as they grow.”

“That might be smart.” she said thoughtfully. “Well, see ya when I get home.”         

“no way, sweetheart. i bought my way back inta the bar, ‘m going tanight an’ i’m watchin’ you.” i rebuffed her.

“Stalker.” pay smiled as we walked in. grillby gave patience a small smile for actually showing up and she waved and went to the back.

“ya know what grillbz? i think i’m gonna start on that 50g ya gave me.”    




The Misadventures Of Ned: Undyne’s New Bestie!


“As you wish.” Ned smiled and in seconds Undyne was on the ground.

“Nice one!” She flipped herself back up in one movement, watching him closer.

“Thank you, here let’s mix things up a little.” Ned takes a Kurati stance, this time, this one empathizing defense over offence. Undyne summoned a single spear and used it like a staff, trying to get a hit in on Ned. Ned casually dodged or redirected each blow, the spear only managing to hit his arms and hands. “Not bad, not bad, but your movements are too easily read, try relaxing your shoulders and avoid tensing up the area of muscle that you’re about to use for your blow. Makes your movements a little more unpredictable.” Undyne glowered, but focused on the advice.


“Your spearsmanship is nearly impeccable, however...” Ned kept on defending until he spotted an opening. “You just left yourself wide open there.” Ned grabbed the spear, pulling it under his arm and then moves forward suddenly, forcing the palm of his hand into Undyne’s gut, hard enough to surprise her, and knock her onto her butt.

“Good thing I have abbs.” she laughed. Ned walked over and offered a hand to help Undyne up.

“Abbs don’t matter in fights ya know, had I used this one technique on your tense body, you’d be spitting up blood.” Ned responded and smiles.

“What the fuck is that?” Undyne asked, confused.

“It’s this.” Ned walked over to the training dummy and he performed a technique, snapping it in two by accident. “As for blood, it’s a fluid inside of a human that allows them to live, if a human loses too much blood, they die.”

“Heh, good ta know. If I ever see one, they’ll probably die from being so squishy.” Ned laughed a little harder than he probably should have.

“Yeah, well, I can’t say you’re wrong, but still, you don’t want to kill them, as far as I know you need them to break through this barrier.”

“That’s why we have capsules, duh.” Undyne told him. “Didn’t you get the memo when Dr. Gaster created them?” 

“Let’s just say I haven’t been around here for very long.” Ned responded. “Plus, Gaster… just something about him just scares me.”

“Whoa, you met him? He doesn’t leave his lab!” Undyne exclaimed.

“I kinda handed off the human soul to Alphys, hoping it would get to where it needed to be, and met Gaster then.” Ned sniffed the air. “Speaking of which, you kinda smell like Alphys.” Undyne blushed in response.

“Well, we kinda have a thing going.” Her fins went down as she smiled. “Anime night was last night and I didn’t get to shower.”

“You got a computer or something around here? I made a trade with Alphys earlier and I still haven’t delivered the goods.” Ned told her.

 “Yeah, somewhere in my room. Only one nerd’s allowed there, stay here.” Undyne narrowed her eye and let Ned into her house. “Sit.” she commanded and went into her room. Ned sat at attention until Undyne came back. A few bumps and crashes were heard before she emerged, shouting at a small spikey white dog who ran out of the room and out the front door. “GO BOTHER PAPYRUS, YOU MUTT!” she yelled. “Here you go.” she turned to Ned with an outdated, large laptop. 

“Wow, that thing is ancient, good thing it has a disk tray.” Ned inspected it.

“It was water logged when we found it. What’d ya expect?” Undyne shrugged.

“How the fuck did ya get it to work? Oh, well, no matter.” Ned asked, then slung his backpack on the ground to open it. “Let’s see if I still got a disk in here...” Ned dug around in his backpack. “Damn, I musta used it to deflect some lasers or something, oh well.” Ned reached up to his eye lens and took it off. “I’ve already got the anime translated, is it alright that I download it onto here?”

“Do whatever ya want to it, Al’ll figure it out.” Undyne watched with her arms crossed, leaning against her piano.

“Alright.” Ned started to mumble to himself as he booted up the computer “Now to turn this to backwards compatibility mode, edit this, translate this code, remove that fragment, and done.” He took a wire from his eye lens and plugged it into the laptop. A few seconds later, the anime is done downloading. “Now to make sure it works.” Ned booted up the Media player on the laptop and found the file that he had just downloaded and the anime started to play. “Looks like I did it right, now just the matter of making it easy access…” Ned made a new folder on the laptop’s screen and he put the anime, as well as a digital copy of the manga that Alphys wanted into it. “That’s that.  So, Undyne you got a genre of anime you like?”

“Anything with gore and swords.” She smiled.

“You’d love Berserk then, let’s see if I have it.” Ned pulled up a weird looking file on the laptop’s screen and he ram a quick search though his eye lens. “You’re in luck, I got everything from the manga to the main series, to the ova.” He looked at Undyne. “If ya don’t mind doing me a favor later, I’ll happily give it to ya now.”

“What kinda favor? It better not be about any humans, ‘cause that was an embarrassment.” she asked suspiciously.

“No, no, none of that, just something along the lines of training with ya for the remainder of the time I’m here.” Ned responded.

“Yeah, sure, that’s fine. Now I have someone I can actually try to beat and not dust.” Undyne smirked.

“Alright, it’s a deal.” Ned downloaded and compressed the files so that they would fit on Undyne’s laptop, then made them easy access so that Undyne could watch them whenever she wanted. “Now all ya gotta do is click that folder and it will play the episode you were on.”

“Nerd.” she mumbled. “Ya want some tea to relax?”

“But I am a loveable nerd,” Ned said, looking at Undyne with a goofy smile. “And yes, I’d like some tea, thank you.”

“I only know one of those.” Undyne laughed and set the kettle on her stove and shuffled around her cabinets for her tea ingredients. It whistled shortly after and she poured out the water and added the tea bags she threw together. “It’s hot.” she said, handing one to Ned. The tea was a light golden color and the smell wafted through the small house. 

“Can’t feel external heat, but thank you, it smells good.” Ned took a sip. “I’ve traveled millions upon millions of miles, and I haven’t tasted anything like this. It tastes good and warms ya to the core. What's it called?”

“Golden flower tea. The only other flower that grows down here besides those useless echo flowers. They don’t even echo! Why would anyone name them that?” Undyne laughed. 

“Well, from the lore behind them, that I have gathered, apparently, if you’re calm, patient and harbor no true aggressive emotions, they speak to you… and if it’s important, dead loved ones come back to talk to ya…” Ned trailed off and he stared at his tea.

“I’ve heard that story a million times and it’s stupid.” Undyne said quietly.  

“Well, I’ll letcha on a secret, but ya can’t tell anyone, ‘cause if ya do, I won’t train with ya.” Ned said quieting down and getting serious.

“What?” she asked point blank.

“I come from a place that is beyond the surface.” Ned told her as he unplugged his eye lens from her laptop.

“BWAHAHAHAHA! Good secret! I’m not surprised people are losing their minds down here!” she doubled over laughing, just managing to save her tea by setting it on the table.

“I can show ya what the surface looks like, if ya want, well, at least where I’m from.” Ned offered.

“Oh, you’re rich, but whatever.” Undyne wiped a tear from her eye.

“You remind me very much of Omega. Skeptical, until proven otherwise, but yeah, I’m a mutate, a sub-species of monster that looks extremely similar to humans, but we have various different traits that make us stronger and much more dangerous.” He started to explain.

“So what, are you and Patience related or something? That girl has some defense!” Undyne marveled.

“In a sense, yes, but are we family? Well, from my experience, relations doesn't mean shit as long as ya find people that love ya for who you are and are willing to risk their lives to save yours and vise-versa.” He told her.

“I know what ya mean.” Undyne stared into her reclaimed cup of tea and sipped it.

“As for the surface, mutates can blend in with normal humans and live peaceful lives, undetected and relatively safe. Humans fear what they don’t understand.”

“I’m not surprised. Fucking hungry for our dust from what I heard. I’ll kill ‘em just to take over the surface again. Anything’s better than killin’ ourselves here.” She told him back, hinting at just how destructive monsters really were while confined. 

“Ya know, I think what you heard about humans, I think it’s outdated, that coulda been true back before the barrier was placed, but now I don’t know…” Ned started to trail off again.

“And how’d you know about that? You’re stuck like the rest of us.” Undyne grew suspicious.

“I told ya before I’m from beyond the surface, mutates, well, some of us can get trapped, but some mutates can find ways around the barrier, although I have no idea how. Also, from what I have learned, if you leave humans alone, they are less likely to attack you.” Ned drank his tea.

“Bullshit. If you know someone who went to the surface, you’d know by now too and we’d all be out.” Undyne growled. Ned picked at his shirt, which had been torn during training and pulled it off, revealing scars all up and down his back.

“You should know most mutates are timid and want the best for their brethren, if they haven’t come and gotten you then that means the surface isn’t ready for us.”

“Go home, weirdo. You haven’t found a way out. If they don’t show ya, you can’t believe ‘em. I’d rather break the barrier and make getting to the surface happen.” Undyne laughed. “Idiot.”

“Alright, sorry for what sounds like crazy talk, but if it helps my story, here.” Ned pulled out his keg and another test tube and poured some of the contents into the test tube for Undyne. “It’s called orange wind, my friend Artimise brews it. It’s an amazing booze that will get ya drunk in a single shot.” He capped the test tube. “It tastes great, but don’t drink it unless ya want to get drunk.” Ned put the test tube on the table. “Only those without magical capability can brew it, and have it come out that strong.” Ned started walking to the door.

“Yeah, there’s barely a monster born without magic and they’re dead before they’re born. Magic is how you survive. Now get out of my house!” Undyne shouted.

“Alright, see ya later to train then.” Ned called as he walked out the door and back towards Snowdin.

Chapter Text

The dark atmosphere of the bar was the least of anyone’s worries. Most just wondered how many drinks they could down before they were kicked out by me. I kept an eye on everyone from my little corner with the jukebox behind me.

“Hey, Patience! Another round!” came a cry from the dogs playing poker, because they had nothing better to do. I went around the bar with their usual’s on a tray, today in a black lace corset dress, accented with purples and blues. I watched Sans walk in and his staring gaze, head following my movements, then he sat at his usual spot on one of the bar stools.

“grillbz, what’s the deal dressin’ my girl like that?” I heard him ask.

“...?” Grillby quietly asked back if he had a problem with it.

“nah, just damn. i’m gonna suggest some looser stuff if ya don’t want your daughter’s dresses ruined.” Sans told him.

“...why?” he asked, pressing further.

“oh, you’ll see.” a smile split across his face.  

“Cause that skull boy is a horny little freak judging from the smell of his sentry posts and room.” Ned announced as he too walked in the bar. He leaned against the bar.

“heh, heh, what’s not old, huh?” Sans laughed

“So, you’re the bartender, mind if I get a shot glass from ya?” Grillby raised a brow and stopped cleaning his glass to reach under and gave one to Ned. “Thank you, also nothing here is gonna get destroyed by my hands tonight.” Ned looked around the room and saw the dog sentries playing poker. “Looks like A Waterloo.” Ned chuckled to himself. Dogaressa, Dogamy I’ve been lookin for ya both.”

“Oh? And why?” Dogaressa asked.

“Yeah, what do you want? You already took my paycheck.” Dogamy asked.

“I want to give ya both something.” Ned took the shot glass and walked over to the two. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a bone fragment and a keg. Probably the same thing he gave to Sans. This was going to get interesting. “Dogaressa, I figured ya earned something for diligence, and Dogamy you get a bone and no scolding for not embarrassing yourself earlier.” Ned placed the shot glass in front of Dogaressa and the bone in front of Dogamy. “No catch.” He took the keg and poured an orange liquid from the keg into the shot glass, confirming my suspicions. The bone disappeared into Dogamy’s robe and they both sniffed at shot glass while the rest of the dogs watched them curiously. “And enjoy.” Ned put his keg back into his backpack, then he walked back to the bar and sat down this time, next to Sans. A long drawn out farting squeak resounded under Ned’s stool. As if anyone didn’t know who was responsible for that. I rolled my eyes as Sans started laughing.

“heh, you gotta watch out fer the weirdo’s who keep puttin’ whoopie cushions under the stools.” Sans grinned.

“Yeah, so basically watch out for you.” Ned smiled. “And don’t think I don’t know about that joy buzzer you tried to get me with, by the way it’s not faulty.”

“good ta know. i’m too lazy ta throw it out. it’s ‘round somewhere. hey, pay!”

“I don’t serve the bar, Sans.” I reminded him.

“i know. i gotta request. somethin’ jazzy, maybe bouncy.” Sans slid a small pouch of coins towards Grillby and he nodded at me. I sighed, rolled my eyes and leaned against the jukebox.

“Don’t make this a habit.” I kicked it lightly with the flat of my foot and the music started playing.



“Well I’ve roamed about this earth

With just a suitcase in my hand

And I’ve met some bog-eyed Joe’s

I’ve met the blessed, I’ve met the damned;”

“Oh right, I never asked your name.” ned looked at grillby. grillby narrowed his eyes and pointed to the sign above the bar which lit the bar in dark colors. “I shoulda guessed, but I didn’t want to assume.” a wolf whistle shilled at patience singing. her eyes flashed in warning.

“But of all the strange, strange creatures

In the air, at sea, on land,

Oh, my love, my love, my precious love,

I love you, you understand…”

“Patience, you’re probably gonna want to watch Dogaressa she might get a little rowdy.” ned called out to her, semi-concerned.

“don’t worry ‘bout it. she’s got an eye on everyone.” i sighed. “i love watchin’ her soul when she sings like this.” a few of the patrons threw coins at her in an attempt to hit her, but she caught most of them and set them for grillby to take of, even catching one in her mouth. as long as she knew how to handle herself it was money coming in as far as i was concerned now. no way in hell was she doing this while she was showing though.

“So reel me in my precious love,

Come on, take me home

‘Cause my body’s tired of traveling

And my soul don’t wish to roam.” 

“Wait a second, she’s singing? She hooked up to a mic or somethin’?” ned asked, confused. i smiled. patience had finally perfected the art of singing with her soul, which was something ned hadn’t noticed in waterfall. even if it was a little at a time, waterfall and snowdin was slowly becoming decorrupted, thanks to her singing and one on one time with certain individuals. however, no one was in the clear like me yet.

“magic, buddy, magic. that’s her voice. thought you get that by now.” i gave ned a look. honestly I thought he would’ve from waterfall, but I guess not.

“Yeah, but I figured she recorded it or something, remember I’m from a world filled with technology, where it’s frowned upon to use magic.”

“right, but no. how do ya think i talk?” i laughed.

“Magic, but that’s a given, I stopped guessing after I got ya gasping for air.” ned responded.

“she don’t like wearing her throat down and they could ask for quite a few songs from ‘er, though this is the first time i listened up close.” i scratched my head.

“I have wandered, I have rambled

I have crossed this crowded sphere

And I’ve seen a mass of problems

That I long to disappear!”

“she’d look better in green, wouldn’t ya say?” i asked quietly.

“I guess.” ned took off his eye lens and tinkered around with it. “Welp, I gotta go finish that basement, see ya when you guys get home.” ned got up, but fell over. looking at grillby, and seeing the amount of energy he was using told me for a brief second he did something although i didn’t know how. “The fuck?”


“grillbz says ya gotta pay fer somethin’ fer sittin’ so long.” i relayed.

“Yeah, I heard.” ned turned to grillby. “Would ya take a brew recipe?” ned offered. What game was he playing? Grillby wasn’t going to let just anyone dick around

“...I’m interested.” he raised an eyebrow. ned got up and dusted himself off.

“Well, I’ll write it down for ya, got a pen and paper? And sorry I kinda got distracted by Patience’s singin’, kinda wondering about that.” grillby grinned widely and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen for ned as he sat back down.

“Now all I have’s this anguished heart

For you have vanished too

Oh, my love, my love my precious love,

Just what is this girl to do?”

“Alright, for this recipe to come out extremely strong, ya need to imbue the brew with magic as you make it. I find that if you have someone who is incapable of magic, if they brew it, then the orange wind comes out strong enough to get someone drunk in a single shot, maybe less.” ned told grillby as he wrote down the recipe. “If you can’t find someone like that, the booze still tastes the same, but it’s only as strong as a Gin Tonic.” grillby scoffs.

“...” he told ned there wasn’t anyone like that.

“Either way, it’s still a new brew for ya to sell to your patrons, I’d offer you a taste but I’m confident you don’t want to get drunk on the job, I only got the strong stuff on me.” ned shrugged.

“...” grillby narrowed his eyes and took the paper. 

“Don’t believe me do ya?” grillby shook his head in response.

“So reel me in my precious love,

Come on take me home

‘Cause my body’s tired of traveling

And my soul don’t wish to roam.”

“Just watch those two after they drink that shot.” ned smiled as he pointed at dogamy and dogaressa. both of the dogs were sniffing the shot glass then they each downed half of the shot each, sharing it. ned held up his hand and started counting down backwards from five. when his hand clenched up into a fist, both dogs were shitfaced, giggling at each other. “Believe me now?” grillby lifted another eyebrow and chuckled. “Hey, Dogamy how ya feelin’?” ned called out. he howled, now noticing the others around him watching them.

“That was some good shit ya got there!”

“Honey, you’re drunk!”

“Honey, you are too!” they went back and forth.

“Does that make up for me taking your paycheck earlier?” ned asked.

“What paycheck?” dogamy hiccupped.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” ned chuckled, then looks back at grillby. “So yeah, the brew is called Orange wind, try it out for a week and if it makes ya some money, let me know, I got a few other brews up my sleeve, and we can work out a deal.” ned looked back at patience, who was still singing. “How is she doing that?”

“Yeah, reel me in my precious love,

Come on take me home

‘Cause my body’s tired of traveling

And my soul don’t wish to roam.”

“it’s coming from her soul, you wanna see?” i asked. maybe letting my guard down a little bit would be alright. 

“Yeah, I’m curious about that.” ned wondered and i pulled out my kaleidoscope looking invention out of my pocket and handed it to him.

“don’t tell gaster ‘bout this, but i finally got one workin’. it’s a soul spectroscope.” i explained to him.

“Don’t worry about that, I ain’t gonna go back there.” ned shivered, and inspects the object. “So do I just put it up my eye and look through it?”

“that simple.” i grinned. ned put it to his eye and he looked through it. he pointed the spectroscope toward pay. i gazed at her too, focusing on my soul vision. her gray silhouette was lit up with a green cartoonish heart in the middle of her chest, pulses originating from it moving outward, beyond from what ned could see. i could see it perfectly fine as they stretched around the room. her soul sparkled like a slightly multicolored jewel, shimmering brightly as she sang, the warbled pulses strongly flowing and healing. it seemed to want to change like it used to. below it, sat the smaller inverted bright white heart of our kid in her abdomen and they swayed and bounced occasionally, enjoying her voice, just like me.

“This is new, is that how you see everything?” ned asked.

“kinda, i mean it ain’t in my best interest to see shadows. i can kinda switch ‘tween, but i like to merge it with flashes. so ya know, it’s kinda how electricity works. moves so fast i can’t discern which i’m lookin’ at, but at the same time, one er the other works best.” i tried to explain. “so if you’re careful, you can see the signs of other people nearby.” ned listened intently, as he watched pay’s soul.

“Well you took me in, stole my heart,

I cannot roam no more

Because love- it stays within you

It does not wash up on a shore.”

“Seems useful, I’m going to want to look into that later.” ned handed the spectroscope back to me. i smirked when i saw the red ring around his eye. he turned back to grillby. “So what do ya say, want to try out my brew in your bar?”

“...I must see how it fares firsthand.” grillby responded in his quiet whisper.

“Yeah, that’s fair, well, even though I didn’t buy anything, think we are square?” ned asked.

“...for now…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back once I got things settled, and I’ll definitely buy something.” ned got back up from where he was seated only to fall over again. it wasn’t grillby this time and i quickly looked around, wondering who i missed coming in. “The fuck? What’s with the spider silk?”

“But a fighting girl forgets each cut

Each knock, each bruise, each-”

“oh fuck.” i muttered, now knowing who it was as the music stopped. pay noticed it too. it was best to keep still and let things pass. suddenly, in a blur, hundreds of spiders spun everyone present except for pay and grillby in cocoons. ned struggled and got one hand free already. “don’t move, pay’s got this under control.” i tried to tell ned, but that did a whole lot of nothing.

“Ahuhuhu! Hello, dearies! Don’t move or I might take what you have!” muffet, the local bandit, walked into the bar, waving a knife and three loaded guns around.

Chapter Text

“Grillby, dearie, your gold for the night.” The spider woman asked, hold out a sack with her remaining hands not holding weapons. “And I wouldn’t move other than to give me what I want.” she pointed to a few spiders holding up a bucket of water above him with her knife. I didn’t know whether to be stunned or angry. She was completely ignoring me!

“...Muffet…” Grillby narrowed his eyes and the dogs growled. So this was the Muffet I was warned about. I edged closer toward Grillby and her.

“Don’t try, dearies. You know very well what happens when you don’t have anything.” she told them with a fanged smile.

“Guns and a knife, oh what a joke, you honestly think that those scare me Miss Arachnid?” Ned taunted Muffet, trying to draw her attention.  

“Ahuhuhu… maybe not, but it doesn’t seem like you can do much, now can you?” she taunted back. I saw Fuku peek out from the kitchen, watching the bucket of water over her father.

“shut up!” Sans growled at Ned.

“Hey! Muffet! Leave or do I have to show you out?” I asked. A gunshot went off and I jumped. Thankfully it wasn’t one of Muffet’s guns. We looked down and saw Ned’s foot was on fire and the smoking gun was in his hand. Obviously, he couldn’t maneuver his arm up to us. The silk cocoon slowly smoldered away.

“Damn, high tensile strength, fire resistant spider web.” Ned analyzed from the ground.

“What? Would you think I would walk into a bar with a fire monster without a few tricks, dearie?” Muffet asked him, smiling.

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Ned struggled a little more in the fire web as it burns.

“Muffet, this is your last warning.” I told her, getting into a ready stance.

“Ahuhuhuhu, what can you do bar wench?” That was it, she was going to get it. I gave Sans the look and his eye lit up as he squirmed a tiny bit to get a fix on Muffet.

“Hey, spider chicka, when I get out of this you’re going to be a octoplegic!” Ned kept at it.

“Quiet, dearie or you could become a snack if you annoy me enough.” Muffet threatened, stooping down to hold his chin up.

“Try it, spider bitch, mutates eat spiders in there sleep.” Ned growled. Muffet clapped two of her hands together, clearly annoyed at him and her little spiders put out the fire at his feet and strung Ned up from the rafters. Ned started making the cocoon spin around, until the web snapped. I shot another look at Sans and he smiled. He wanted to see what Muffet would do to Ned. Ned fell back down with a thud. “I’m going to get out of this and you will regret tying me up.” Ned growled again.  

“Very well. I’ll have my pet clean up.” Sans snapped to attention this time and a resounding ding came from Muffet’s chest and she flew towards the nearest wall, her soul in the gravity inducing mode.

“That’s what I can do.” I smiled, holding her with my regular magic as well.

“Ooooh, a strong one are we, dearie?”

“Boss monster.” I confirmed. A sonic boom emanated from Ned’s cocoon.

“Seriously, how is this stuff this strong?” Ned’s face started to get red as he got flustered, because his cocoon refused to break.

“I think of everything, dearie.” Muffet giggled at Ned from the wall.

“Now, I think it’s time you leave this establishment before I call Papyrus.” I threatened, pulling out my phone.

“You wouldn’t do that, now would you?” she sneered back at me.

“I have him on speed dial.” I said back.  

“How didn’t I smell you and your spiders?” A large cupcake like creature with spider legs came down from the rafters, sniffed at Ned, screeched in his face and started tearing into his backpack. “Hey, get away from that!” It screeched in his face again in response and continued. Ned tried to bite at it, incapable of anything else. “Listen here ya sonofabitch, if you keep that up, I’m going to personally torch you, your family, and everything you have ever dreamed of!” Ned said, starting to get irate. He struggled in the cocoon even more.

“it’s a pet. it don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout.” Sans rolled his eye, still stuck to the barstool.

“So, are you gonna leave or what?” I asked Muffet, watching the scene. I, or rather both me and Sans had her pinned.

“Perhaps I’ve overstepped my boundaries. I had no idea Grillby was smart enough to hire such a charming little boss monster.” Muffet smiled a bit smugly and we let her go. “Maybe next time you can tango with my pet, dearie.” She suggested. “Did you find something much better, Darling?” Muffet patted the cupcake as it chirped with Ned’s keg in it’s mouth. 

“You little shit you better put that right back or I’ll-” the little spiders gagged him with a specially made silken cloth. I guess they got tired of him talking.

“Oh? Then consider this payment for your life, dearie.” Muffet laughed. Ned struggled even harder to get out. Louder and louder sonic booms emanated from his cocoon. “Toodles!” Muffet left the bar quickly while taunting Ned.

“Muffet! Give that back!” I raced after her. That went much faster than I expected. As my boot crunched into the snow, I looked at the falling flakes. There was no trace of her, nothing except the gleaming knife. I picked it up. She must have respected me enough to leave me this to cut through her spider silk. Ned was still making the most noise, struggling when I got back. “Ned, calm down. I can’t get you out if you’re doing that. I don’t want to be shredded to pieces.” I pulled the gag out of his mouth. “I’m sorry, but there’s a reason she’s one of the best outlaws.”

“I am extremely tempted to renege on my promise, to not to kill.” Ned grumbled in a deep angry, but level voice.

“Hold still and stop trying to blow up the place. Look, you know I’m fast and can find people, but she disappeared.” I started to cut through the silk and Ned calmed down.

“Can I still blow her up if I promise not to kill her?” Ned asked, still pissed “Just rip off a limb or two or four.”

“You probably won’t, she’s another boss monster, so you’re welcome to try, but be aware there’s more to her than her disappearing tricks and spider silk. Judging by what my instincts tell me, her pet can eat souls, including yours.” I warned, helping him up, then went to Sans.

“thanks sweetheart.” he sighed as he pulled himself out. “i was kinda getting’ comfy. no wonder the moths like it there.”

“ didn’t have to, but you helped me.” Grillby told me.

“What are good waitresses for?” I smiled. Ned picked up his shredded backpack.

“I didn’t even get a chance to sample her drought brew.” Ned mumbled as he scoffed his boot on the flooring. “I hope that bitch drinks it all and dies from the alcohol poisoning.” He mumbled again, looking around. “Top bandit, doing a smash and grab like that, fucking joke.” Ned started to walk to the door. “If I was home I’d be top bandit.” Ned says in a salty tone and left. I shook my head watching him, the entire time, I was freeing everyone still bundled up.


“You sure I can have the rest of the night off?” I asked Grillby skeptically in response to his demand. He smiled warmly and nodded, handing me a sack labeled one hundred.

“...bonus for a hard day.”

“Thank you, but no. This is my job.” I pushed it away. “Maybe if I need a favor later.” Favors were much more useful than gold and only the smart knew that. “Come on, lazybones, let’s see if we can’t help Ned out.” I almost left with the dress on, but Grillby stopped me and I went to the back room to change and Sans followed me after getting the ok from Grillby.



“i’ll poke ‘round, but ya know i probably won’t be able ta find her.” i sighed, leaning against the door between us. “you saw him crack?”

“No, I was too busy with Muffet, but it must’ve meant a great deal to him. Like my blue jacket. It reminded him of home.” pay emerged in her normal skirt and blouse.

“it was pretty beat up, more ‘n usual than the average, hell, most people woulda shattered under all that kinda darkness and cracks. kinda makes ya wonder how sane ‘e really is.” i frowned, as we left the bar. there was something a little more to it. there was blood lust in his eyes while he was trapped. while that wasn't uncommon, it was unnerving to the extent of that expression. i'd seen it before, but only in LV 19's.  

“He got better. We helped heal some of the cracks he had just by befriending him. I know you’re worried, but you have to realize cracks are a part of life. As long as we’re here, and as long as he is, we should try to help each other as best as we can. I don’t think anyone can be too far gone if we’re laughing with him like we are already.” pay reasoned.

“yeah, i guess. i’ll go up ahead. see if you can find a trail ‘ere.” i told her. “stay safe, shields up.”

“I know, I know.” pay rolled her eyes and smiled. if there was one sole purpose this kid had, it was to make pay sass me, but whatever, it was kinda fun when she pushed back. i displaced over to waterfall and immediately picked up a trail. a small almost transparent thread of silk brushing against the walls here and a mushroom there, all the way to hotland. i looked all around, but it was no use. i lost her. i sighed and pulled out my phone.

“i lost the trail in hotland, how ‘bout you sweetheart?” i asked after she picked up.

“Same. No prints in the snow, but the trees have scrapes on them. I’m going to double check, but I think I lost the trail too. It’s late and I don’t want to be out in these woods. I get the sense I’m being followed by Jerry or something.” i shuddered. anything but jerry. he was a fucking walking insult.

“i don’t doubt that with some of the guys at the bar lookin’ at ya like that. go home, displace now. i’m right behind ya.” i hung up my phone and surprisingly made it back to the house first, pay following about two seconds after. “didja get a look?” i asked.

“No, what is that smell?” pay asked, peering into the kitchen, curious about what was frying, and why a fold up table had suddenly appeared in our house, only to see ned cooking on the stove. “Make sure you clean those pans real good, ugh, that’s strong.” she grimaced.

“it ain’t that bad.” i told her. “and i gotta better sense than you.”

“Just lemme sit down, open a window or something.” she sighed and i steered her to the couch, just as papyrus burst in.


“well, boss, we just got home. pay isn’t feelin’ well, so quiet.” i barely masked a growl. “you wanna know so much, talk ta ned, he’s gotta name, y’know.”

“HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME IN SUCH A MANNER, SANS!” i flinched as he reached for my neck, but ned appeared out of nowhere, and caught papyrus’s wrist.

“I’m not in the mood for anyone’s bullshit right now, I had a long day and I cooked dinner for all of us.” ned said with an ominous glint in his eyes. “Now you are going to sit down and you are going to eat with the rest of us, like a proper family, no attacks, no yelling, no weapons.” ned went back to the kitchen and came back out with the fish, now fully cooked. “It’s not going to be the normal food you’re used to. I caught the fish by the river, however, I did my best to imbue the food with magic, although it won’t be as good as if my sister did it.” ned warned us as he set everybody portion of food on the table.

“pay, ya gonna eat?” i asked her gently.

“I should try at least.” she smiled weakly.

“I hope ya enjoy it.” ned said as we all sat down.

“Thank you.” pay told him.

“yeah, thanks.” i chimed in, grateful i was getting something other than pasta tonight. papyrus stared at his food, giving it a death glare. “don’t be picky, boss. it ain’t bad.” i smirked as i ate some of the fish in front of him.

“ could be poisoned.” he glared at his food again.

“Then at least one of us would be dead by now, dumbass.” ned responded cynically. “I used the same sauce for everybody and I lost track of who got what.”

“That means my food would be the poisoned dish.” papyrus declared.

“Just eat.” ned grabbed his head and he slammed it into the food. i stared with wide sockets, not wanting to get into this at all. i was already starting to get sweaty from the tension in the air.

“Honestly, boys, stop.” pay rolled her eyes and took a piece of fish from papyrus’s plate, that didn’t happen to be on his face and ate it. “See? Not poisoned.” she sounded like she was done too. i looked nervously at ned, who ate in silence. after that, papyrus tried to eat the rest of his fish, but pieces fell out from under his armor. i snorted quietly at the food falling and nudged at ned to watch, but he didn’t seem too interested. after a few more bites of her fish, pay set down her fork and started to look paler.

“pay? you gonna make it?” i asked quietly.

“You might want to take a dip in the hot spring, from the looks of things.” ned chipped in as he set down his fork. one of the chairs scraped back and papyrus sprung up from it.

“I KNEW IT WAS POISONED!” ned decked him. the look on his face said this was no time for bullshit. in the short one sided scuffle, the table broke and pap ended going through the kitchen wall. it knocked him out cold.

“POISONED MY ASS!” ned got up to go after pap not realizing that he wasn’t moving at this point. i turned to look at pay. “THE ONLY THING POISONED AROUND HERE IS… oh.”

“are you ok, pay?” i asked for what felt like the thousandth time since we sat down. she moaned a little, clutching her stomach.

“Oops.” ned sheepishly went back towards us. dishes started to clink and shake. “Um, sorry about knocking him out… and breaking the table… and the wall.” ned looked embarrassed about that, but i didn’t care. from the moment glasses started to shake i felt it. the power build up was just too much to be anything else.

“that ain’t my concern right now.” i told him seriously .

“Is she alright?” he asked as whirlwind started whipping through the house, shaking the table and various items around and on it.

“don’t get too close.” i growled. “it’s gonna get worse.”

Chapter Text

“Jesus, it looks like the poltergeist in here.” ned said, going toward the front door. “Get her downstairs, things up here won’t last for much longer.” he was picked up by the growing whirlwind and slammed into the door, breaking it. the couch started to move.

“pay, sweetheart, i’m gonna move ya ta where nothing’s gonna get broken.” i told her nervously. so far i wasn’t a victim, but then again, the eye of the storm was the calmest place to be. 

“Mmm-hmm.” she got out shakily as i picked her up and displaced downstairs. i huddled into in one of the empty corners of the room, cradling her, speaking softly in her ear.

“shh… ‘m ‘ere.”

“Hope that was therapeutic for ya, Sans get her into the hot spring, something's up with her body, and the kid.” ned told me from the stairs. i glared at him. get out you idiot.

“wasn’t me or ‘er. kid’s formin’.” i told him loud enough for him to hear. as if my prayers were answered, ned was picked up and slammed into the wall. “told ya not to get too close.” i smirked.

“Seriously? I was fifty feet away!” ned’s voice echoed from the human-shaped crevice in the wall he made. i saw him climbing out of his hole, out of the corner of my eye and pay whimpered again in my arms, a sheen of sweat forming on her skin.

“shhh… i’m here, pay. bondin’ couldn’t wait, now could it?” i scolded gently.

“I should leave.” well, look who finally got the memo. ned started to walk out, only to get picked back up, his feet leaving the ground. “You have got to be kidding me.” ned sighed in the moment of calm, but that ended fast and he was thrashed all over the basement, flying from wall to wall, ceiling to floor, leaving indents everywhere he landed. aww… just like me when i was in a rage.

“kid like’s playing ‘round with you, huh?” i chuckled.

“Make- it- stop-” he yelled at me as this continued. 

“i’m tryin’, buddy. kid’s throwin’ a hissy fit at formin’.” i told him truthfully.

“No- shit-!” ned shouted as he spat out rocks. it almost looked like he was used to this from the minute it started.

“pay, ya gotta relax, i got ya. ya aren’t going anywhere.” i stroked her hair soothingly and she whimpered again, trying to comply. 

“I never thought- I’d say this- but- I’m getting- a little- sick-” ned groaned.

“what? we all know i ain’t the best at this mushy stuff!” i snapped at him and pay flinched. the magic throwing ned got slower… they really could hear me and i was stunned as the erratic, fast pulses they gave off steadied as if they were calming.

“I- think- the kidz- need- some- discipline- right now-!” ned growled, as it sped up again with more erratic pulses. they were panicking in their own little way.


“Be you, Sans.” she smiled weakly at me.

“...i’d feel weird yellin’ at just a soul.” they were scared. i couldn’t yell at that. it reminded me of… well, me.

“Spare- the rod- spoil- the son-!” ned shouted at me while still getting pummeled.

“fuck off! i’m havin’ a moment here!” i yelled back at him.

“Have your- moment- when I’m not- getting my- ass kicked-!”

“oh, sure, it’s my fault the kid’s freakin’ strong!” i retorted.

“Saaaannnsss!” pay wailed and ned flew deep into a wall.

“You’re the one who fucked her, dipshit!” his voice echoed from the hole. i growled at him. this was not a good time for that kind of thinking.

“yeah, i fucked her, who gives a shit? now shuddup! you ain’t helping things on my end!” i told him hostilely. the echo in the wall distorted when he muttered next. “i better be hearin’ i’m not comin’ outta the wall!’” i snarled.

“Shit!” ned flew out of the wall, into the parallel one again. pay’s grip on my jacket tightened and i rubbed her abdomen. i could feel it churning. i willed myself not to panic. she was going to be alright. she was going to make it.

“s’almost over, sweetheart. ya know i love ya both, no matter what they decide ta be.” i told her nervously. sweat dripped from my face, because i didn’t stop to wipe it.

“Sans, I think one of your children has pyrokinesis!” a red glow and then an explosion expelled ned from his current hole in the wall, forcing him to create yet another in an adjacent wall.

“one of-? how many times do i have ta tell ya? one ki- shit.” i stopped as i looked down at pay. i could feel her abdomen wasn’t churning anymore, but there was not one, but two souls where there was only one before. i stared in shock.

“Wh-what?” pay demanded, spent, but not in pain any longer.

“...there’s two souls now.” i said slowly. ned fell backwards out of the wall with a rocky thud.

“What do you mean, there’s two?!?” pay asked in disbelief.

“Thank god, human children are not this bad.” ned mumbled.

“it’s only ‘cause they’re goddamn boss monsters, now shuddup!” i demanded. ned tried to get up, but he stumbled and collapsed again. i sighed in annoyance.

“I think I might just going to sleep here then.” he said, looking extremely dizzy.

“fuckin’ finally.” i breathed.

“Sans!?!” pay looked up at me. i didn’t know how to reassure her. i had never seen or dealt with twins, but it explained a lot; the magic drainage, the excessive amount of bonding and the duality of certain personalities clashing in her.   

“shhh… don’t worry ‘bout it. relax.” i pushed it away as i carried patience to the hotspring and set her into it, clothes and all, still holding her hand. we were going to work through this, all of us. nobody was going to die. i swore to myself with the type of face i was probably giving her as she reached with her other hand to wipe at my face.

“What happens when there’s twins, Sans?” she asked softly. “I can handle it.”

“i dunno.” i whispered. our bonds were now showing, connecting green, red and a few white tendrils through our chests. i saw ned take of his eye tech and blink hard while trying to inspect it.

“How the hell did you survive that?” he murmured softly to it, then put it back on. he tried to get up again and he stumbled, but remained on his feet.

“now, i coulda sworn there was only one soul…” i grumbled to myself. what was this other feeling? regret? i looked at ned. yep, that’s what it was. “you wanna see this, buddy? least i can do, since my kids thrashed ya good.”

“Yeah, once everything stops spinning.” ned looked around, holding his head. “Thank god I built this place to my standards.” he stumbled over to one of the deeper holes in the wall and vomited in it. i grimaced. humans pretty close to worse than us when it came to bodily fluids and that said a lot. “That sucked.” ned finally managed to say. “I got my work cut out for me tomorrow.”

“didn’t look pleasant, but i warned ya.” i held up pay’s head as she started to nod off, exhaustion from the magic consumption taking its toll. 

“Sans… we need to meld…” then she was that tired, but i couldn’t have our souls floating around unprotected. that’s where i drew the line.

“not now, sweetheart. we got company. it's bad enough our bonds are showin’.” i told her softly.

“Don’t worry about me I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I can walk straight.” ned said, still groggy, and tried to stumble towards the door.

“i offered a once in a lifetime sight and you’re runnin’ away, heh, whatever.” i laughed. it was a good thing he wasn’t like a certain scientist we knew. curiosity didn’t drive ned like it did gaster, but even i felt as if i would’ve needed an explanation in his shoes if i survived something like that.

“Your kids are fucking nuclear reactors in terms of power, and I need to rest after that.” ned responded as he somehow managed to get to the stairs.

“it won’t happen again, unless you upset pay at this point. they won’t be like that ‘cause they’re done formin’.” i assured him. at least i hoped. if it did happen, it was likely they might accidentally kill me.

“Good then I’ll get a sonogram ready in the morning, right now, I’m beat, I’m gonna puke again and I need to figure out how I’m going to replace that table, and fix every wall that was busted.” his voice echoed as he dragged himself up the stairs.

“whatever keeps ya happy, buddy.” a short minute later we heard a loud thud. i sighed. “’e’s outta it, pap’s outta it, yer outta it. if anyone has the bright idea ta take over the house they’re in fer a surprise.” i pulled pay out of the hot spring and took all the water off her skin and out of her hair and clothes, dropping it back into the spring. pay nuzzled into me as i dropped her into my arms and i gave her a real smile, nuzzling her back. i displaced us back to our room and breathed heavily. “no fucking wonder why you were havin’ trouble displacin’. too many souls ta protect.” she only whimpered and curled closer to me on our bed. immediately, my soul was tugged and pulled out of my body and was slowly merging into hers. i had to stay semi-alert tonight and that wasn’t helping. my thoughts buzzing, did as i tried to remember an entry that gaster had specifically written down. i may not have run into twins, but he had once. that much i remembered. i growled softly to myself, cursing my past for not listening, but it was no use. i was only being used to see the souls back then, and it was all boring material. then i remembered something even better. gaster gave pay his personal notes. i spotted the hand bound book on my dresser, through the soft light pulsing pay was now giving off. i floated it over to my hands and tore through it, looking for the obscure note.

“Curiously, one of the subjects, although doing well initially, has dusted for no apparent reason. What the other monster in the relationship told me lightened the situation, enough to make a theory about what truly happened. They reported as they watched her dust, not two souls shattering, but three. It seems as if her body could not take the stress of two children and I surmise that this would be deadly to anyone. Multiple children in one pregnancy, on the other hand, is a very rare phenomenon and should not pose as an immediate threat to the population. As such, it would be a great advantage to see souls and understand-”

i shut the book and threw it on the ground. pay shifted and frowned at my fear. this was a death sentence, but she didn’t look unstable, just tired after they formed. i wasn’t going to lose her, i was never going to lose her. not like this. the room slowly filled with soft red light as i came to my conclusion. i was too determined to not let anyone die, not her, not either of the kids. i felt warm to the core as it hit me and feelings that weren’t mine, encircled me.

We love You. protector. Warm. happy. Close. ours.



The next morning, I stretched and yawned in bed. My stomach growled loudly and Sans let me go, muttering something incoherent under his breath. I looked up to see our souls rising from my chest, anchored down by three streams of Perseverance and three Determination. I pushed them back to our respective chests and got up to make a huge breakfast. I emerged happily from his room, then froze at the bottom of the stairs, horror over taking the sight on the couch.

“SANS!” I yelled. In a flash he was by my side, trying to figure out what was wrong.

“whazit…?” he brushed past me, rubbing his eyes, realizing I was fine. He snapped awake looking at where I was pointing. Ned was on the couch, but that didn’t bother us, the thing that did was he and his backpack were covered in dust, the rising and falling of his chest easy as he slept. “SHIT! WHERE’S PAPYRUS?!” He demanded, and a blaster materialized above Ned as he slept on, only bothering to turn over at the noise. He disappeared and banging emanated from all corners of the house as he tore it apart. Finnally, I heard a sigh of relief nearby. “thank god.” Sans breathed as he walked out of the kitchen. “’e’s ok.” he told me as the blaster faded away.

“Then, who got dusted?” I asked.

“DUSTED?” Papyrus questioned, stirring and evidently hearing me. I peeked into the kitchen, my main objective and he was getting up. Papyrus glared at the busted table that broke his fall, the Papyrus sized hole in the wall, and the dirty and broken dishes, as if none of this was his fault. His eye lit up as he turned to Ned… when he realized he was covered in dust. His smile widened

“looks like someone tried ta break in.” Sans said, a little perplexed.


“fuck no, i ain’t doin’ that shit!” Sans pushed himself away. I felt annoyed at their bickering, so I cut off Papyrus when he opened his mouth.

“Don’t worry, Papyrus. I have something planned. It might not kill him, but it’s satisfying to say the least.” I said sweetly while smiling evilly, and ended up unnerving both skeletons. But that lasted about three seconds because Papyrus gained a wide grin as well.

“pay, whatever you’re thinkin’, i don’t think ya should…” Sans trailed off, trying to move forward, but he was blocked by his brother.


“pay, don’t-” I already grabbed onto Ned and pulled him into the Void. I pushed him out at his destination. Then I paid a visit to the field of echo flowers and the shop to get Ned his requested boots, then whispered into the echo flower the message and walked back into the house.

“Don’t touch these, boys. Now get out of the kitchen, so I can make breakfast. Our guest will be back shortly.” I told them cheerily as I pushed them out. About twenty minutes later, the door flew off its hinges and into the face a rather irate Undyne, smacking her back into the snow as she apparently had been right behind Ned. The cat jumped and ran into Papyrus’s room.


“Gee, I dunno, maybe you should check your present.” I said calmly, while stirring eggs in the frying pan. I peeked out of the kitchen and Sans was sweating, nervously glancing at Ned and the broken table.

“‘bye sweetheart!” Sans teleported off. As usual, he didn’t want to get in the middle of something like this.

“HOW DARE YOU-” Ned grabbed Papyrus’s head and slammed him into the wall again, hard enough to leave another imprint, get him stuck into the wall and knock him out all at the same time.

“YOU DECIDED TO THROW ME INTO THE DAMN MAGMA PIT, NOW I’M PISSED!!” Ned pointed at me buck naked, with magma hardening on various parts of his body, because his clothes had burned away. Undyne started laughing in the background, still outside.

“You might want something to cover up. I hear the forecast is snowy.” I told him, focusing on the eggs. I didn’t need to see his junk again. He had to have been glaring daggers at me.

“Aaron says hi.” Ned responded bitterly before walking out to get a change of clothing. Shortly after, he came back up and I set a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him and took a sip of coffee. I motioned Undyne in and served her as well.

“May as well feed you, since it looks like the boneheads don’t want any.” I reasoned. Sans came back with a melted whiskey bottle. When did he get that?

“what did ya do to my post?” he glared at Ned.

“I woke up under magma to burning clothes and me exploding. How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Ned responded coldly. It actually felt colder in here, whether it was him or the lack of a door.

“i’m not rebuildin’ my post without breakfast. i didn’t fuckin’ do anything.” Sans grumbled as I gave him a plate.

“So what exactly possessed you to throw me into the magma?” Ned asked still bitter, but curious in between bites of food. Undyne watched everybody as she ate, just as curious.

“Go check the couch.” I responded cheerily, settling down with my plate of eggs. He glanced at the couch and went back to eating.

“They shouldn’t have broken in.” Ned told me as a matter of factly. 

“Check your gift, dumbass.” I snapped at him and both Sans and Ned flinch.

“Fine.” Ned sighed, and checked out the boots and the echo flower. He touched the echo flower and I smiled.

“You should know better than to start a biggest dick contest with my boyfriend, because if you want to start one of those, you’d better go for the one with the biggest balls behind it! Get dunked on…! Get dunked on…!”

“YOU BITCH!” Ned shouted, pointing at me and he stormed back into the kitchen. Undyne started snorting, watching us with interest.

“uh, ‘bye, sweetheart, fer real.” Sans grabbed his plate and teleported again.

“Oh, shit is goin’ down.” Undyne laughed between bites.

“Go fuck a lizard, ya daft salmon!” Ned glared at Undyne. Undyne spewed out the food in her mouth as she laughed harder. Ned turned back to me. “You’re lucky, with your current disposition, I ain’t gonna do anything harmful to ya, ya damn cow.” I smiled smugly, guessing he wouldn’t in the first place.

“Is that the best you can do? I’ve been called all sorts of things, from bitch to pin-up to skelly fucker, so it doesn’t bother me anymore.” I told him sweetly. Ned cleared his throat.

“Then I’m going to have to increase my insult repertoire, to include moody bar maidens, such as yourself.” Ned growled back. He was clearly using words that didn’t feel right in his mouth.

“What do you expect with the hormones coursing through my body?” I shrugged, while Undyne’s eyes widened as she choked on her food. She proceeded to get up from the table and walk out the door, leaving us.

“...’Bye? You might want your bone boy to come back.” She called quietly. “It’s not like he does much…” I laughed at Undyne and Ned cracked a smile as he snickered, not able to resist.

“I’ll be by later to train with ya Undyne and fix your door, I gotta settle something with bitch tits over here.” Ned pointed at me as Undyne walked away fast.

“Ooo! A new one! Points for the ginger!” I congratulated him.

“Great now you're’ just acting like a trinity bitch.”

“There’s four of me, you idiot!” I reminded him.

“I was referring to your children, or have you forgotten the number they did to me?” he crossed his arms, getting pissed.

“I dunno, I was kinda out of it, maybe they could recreate it again.” I said innocently.

“Go look at the basement.” He snarled and I disappeared to look at what happened. I counted the indents of Ned on the walls. It was actually kinda hard, since some of them overlapped. I went back upstairs.

“I’d say the number they did was about twenty-seven.” I snickered. Ned’s eye twitched. Maybe I pushed him too far, but there was no going back now.

“I’m going to get you back for every indent in that basement and for the three explosions that you caused.” He threated.

“Just don’t fall for the booby trap the last prank king fell for.” I taunted, feeling immediate relief he wasn’t going to do something right then and there. Papyrus stirred in the wall.

“Duly noted, now I gotta go make a table, fix two doors, one wall, twenty-seven indents, and keep in shape.” Ned listed as he went out to the door frame to fix the front door.

“Great. Now I just have to get Papyrus up so I can go to work.” I listed back, feeling a smile creep back on my face and turned to Papyrus. “Hey, y’know there’s a human down the road.” I told him and he instantly pulled himself from the wall and rushed out, not even caring the door was ten feet outside, already almost buried in the snow.

“HUMAN! PREPARE TO BE CAPTURED!” He shouted. Ned turned around down the road and watched Papyrus run past him. I laughed, poking my head out the door to watch him. Ned flipped me off and continued into the forest. I smiled warmly, going back to house work, then teleported to the shop to start my shift.  

Chapter Text

“Patience! Restock the bandanas, I don’t know why they’re becoming so popular, but they are.” Pearl told me. “Oh and sweep up, it’s getting dusty in here after the last guy decided not to leave without a little something, so he just didn’t and it’s pissing me off.” I shuddered, but obeyed.

“Alright!” I called back and started sweeping first. I looked up as the bell rang and another customer walked in. It was a horse monster with sunglasses, to my knowledge, he had just moved here. I couldn’t see his eyes, so I kept a suspicious one on him as he looked around. His movements said he was uninterested in the shirts he rifled through, so against my better judgement, I walked over to him. “Can I help you?” I asked.

“Yeah, see, I’m looking for something real specific…” he trailed off.

“Can you describe what you want?” I asked.

“Depends. What are you willing to work for?” he lowered his sunglasses, looking at me like he was all cool.

“I’m not interested.” I dropped the nice smile I had.

“Wait, what? But baby, I know you want something a little more-”

“No, I don’t. Why? Because I have it already, thank you very much.” I turned back to grab the bandanas from behind the counter and started stocking them. He grabbed me from behind and I froze as he tried to rock me back and forth. My anger started to boil over.

“Why don’t you start working over here, Patience? You can bring your friend there, it looks like he’s willing to pay.” The smug voice of Ruby the innkeeper said behind us. Instantly, I realized who was behind the monsters asking me for my “services.”

“YOU DID THIS!” the horse monster flew backwards, his grip tearing off me as I pushed him to the opposite wall away from me. He barreled over the counter on his way there, his fur starting to get a gleam from nervous sweat.

“Whoa, hey there baby, don’t be like that, uh, please?” his voice came out strangled and it annoyed me.

“Shut your damn mouth, you- you fucking bad boy wannabe!” I yelled at him then turned my aggression to Ruby. “And you! I don’t want to work at the inn!” I growled. “What the hell have you been spreading?!”

“I thought you were gettin’ tired of that skeleton.” the horse monster unwisely said. I growled lowly and without even looking back, flung him out, slamming his head against the door, flinging it open.

“SON OF A BITICH! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” I recognized the soul pulse and voice of the passerby, it was Ned, who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, yet again. “MOVE IT PAL, I’M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR HORSE SHIT!” I might’ve laughed if I weren’t angry at Ruby.

“Ruby, I better hear an answer or I just might send Sans back to the inn.” It was an empty threat, but she didn’t have to know that. Her eyes widened as I stomped over, debating whether or not it was worth it to say something. She chewed her lip. There was a sound of a scuffle outside.

“… that you can take just about anyone since Sans seems pretty satisfied with you. To be honest, the way you walk around town, you can take care of more guys.” She shrugged. “But don’t you think you should call it quits before you get dusted by either him or Papyrus?” I hope I gave her the most angry, hurt, frustrated, confused look I could possibly give. “I mean, I’m only trying to give you a safe place to stay-”


“And you know, you can bring your little boy toy along too.” Ruby pointed behind me, probably at Ned, but then her eyes widened and there a huge crunch, jarring mostly the building next door.

“Haven’t you ever wondered why I don’t go anywhere else? This is the last place I would ever go! I’d rather sleep outside-”

“Miss Ruby! Come quick!” One of the monsters who lived at the inn pulled at her, saving her from my wrath.

“What happened, did anything break?” Pearl asked, rushing back with oven mitts over her hands.

“Nothing here. Next door, I can’t vouch for.” I said coldly.

“Why was Ruby here? Was she looking for me?” Pearl asked me. The bell rang and Ned walked in, both of us watching him as he grumbled.

“Fucking horse.” He picked out a couple shirts from the rack, wordlessly handed me the gold and walked out again.

“No, she wanted me to go over there to start working.” I huffed. “She even had someone come in to try to convince me.”

“That bitch! Why the fuck does she always do this to my extra hand?! Wait, you’re still here.” Pearl just realized.

“You’re damn right I’m still here! That was one of the most insulting things proposed to me!” I said, outraged.

“You just got yourself a raise. Damn, what made you stay?” Pearl asked curiously.

“I might have to make at least one, but I get two hot meals a day and a constant, unusually affectionate, protective skeleton by my side. I’m safer and better taken care of than any of Ruby’s crew, not to mention, actually wanted, besides I like to be paid in gold and gold only.” I crossed my arms.

“You’re not saving for a family, now are you?” Pearl asked suspiciously.

“Uh, well, you know how hard it is to feed those boys.” I smiled, hoping she’d drop the question.

“Which one?”

“What?” I asked confused.

“Which one wanted a kid? You have three guys in your house, it shouldn’t be that hard to answer. Was it the new guy?” I felt my face heat up.

“Um, no… they just formed.” I admitted.

“So, then, Papyrus?” she asked, confused.

“Sans. It was Sans. Come to think about it, I’m not even sure if Papyrus knows how to get kids.” I told her.

Sans wanted a kid? Of all monsters?” Pearl looked really surprised. I shrugged.

“Like I said, unusually affectionate and protective.” I told her.

“PEARL!” Ruby came back, hopping mad. “I demand you fire her!” she pointed at me.

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Pearl put her hands on her hips. “Patience is staying. You started rumors that she was up for grabs when you knew she wasn’t!”

“I did not! I said she was going to start working for me!” They started pushing each other. “But she caused damage to my inn!”

“How? She didn’t leave the shop, did you?” Pearl asked me.

“Of course not.” I told her.

“See? How could she if there isn’t a big gaping hole in my shop?” Pearl smiled smugly. Ruby growled in frustration and stomped away. Pearl started laughing at that. “If you don’t leave, I’ll make it worth your while. I’ll even give you a paid vacation when you’re out with the kid. You made my day and I’m feeling generous. Take care of those bandanas and you can head out to rest. I know when they form it takes a lot out of ya.” she winked. “Oh and by any chance… is it a boss monster?” she paused.

“Should be, both Sans and I are and they’re four months along.” I told her. Pearl looked slightly worried.

“If you need any help sweetie, you can always ask for advice from a professional mom and if he doesn’t stay-”

“He’ll stay. Trust me, he’s way too addicted to me.” I told her confidently. Pearl grimaced.

“Honey, Sans is not-” she took a deep breath. “He might help you survive through this, but sticking around after the kid’s born is another story. He just doesn’t have control on what they want to be. I just want you to know, it happened to me and it happened to Ruby. You like to think after two months of bliss, he’ll stay, but that’s not the case. What’s stopping him from leaving or putting you out after all this?”

“He doesn’t care. He wants them to be happy. Sans promised and he never breaks his promises. He might start shit, but when he gives his word like that, it’s final.” I struggled to explain. Pearl looked unimpressed. “Look, how many times have you ever heard him promise anything?” It took a few seconds for Pearl to try and think back.

“Never.” She said thoughtfully.

“Then there just might be a reason why.” I told her.   



everything in my fucking existence was just wonderful. the post only took me an hour to rebuild, but i still felt the anger of losing everything in the last one. and pay, why did she have to set him off? well, i understood he was getting on her nerves and all, especially with the bitchy combo of aspects the kids were trying out. my phone started buzzing mid self-rant and i felt a cold shock looking at who it was.

“heya, doc, what’s up?” i asked nervously. i wanted to prolong pay from going back there no matter what. today just wasn’t a good day for any of us.

“How is your guest? I trust you already have some data for me?” gaster asked.

“n-not yet. yesterday wasn’t a good day fer it, him bein’ like that an’ all.” i stuttered.

“Get me at least one set of data points by tomorrow or I will be very tempted to do it myself, do I make myself clear?” gaster asked.

“y-yes.” i said shortly.

“Is there something on your mind, Sans?”

“i dunno, uh, i think ya better take a look tomorrow. i, uh, can’t be sure.” i danced around the question and gaster didn’t press, although i felt the suspicious pause.

“How is Patience coming along? Are you keeping a close eye on her?”

“a course i am, why wouldn’t i? she’s doin’ good, stable ya know that, ya saw ‘er yesterday!” i broke out of my inherent fear, now annoyed. it was almost like he was her father or something, worried i might break or abandon her.

“May I remind you it has been quite a while since a boss monster was born. I want to know when each and every step of the process has happened.” he demanded. i flinched silently.   

“first off, they ain’t totally monster.” i lowered my voice. “second, that’s hard ‘nough ta determine an’ third monsters and humans alike ta my knowledge ‘ave been havin’ kids since forever.” i sassed him and he sighed.  

“I suppose you’re right, but it is of the utmost importance. We don’t want to lose her.”

“i’m not losin’ ‘er.” i growled. “it’ll be a freezin’ day in hotland ‘fore i let that happen.”

“Yes, yes. Do not hesitate to call me for the child forming and get my data.” he insisted, then hung up on me. i sighed and sank down. thank god that was over. he might be angry at me tomorrow, but pay, as usual, would find a way to soften the blow. not much was happening here and i felt an itch to find out what was happening around me as i occasionally did. i wandered aimlessly in the void, following my instincts before appearing in waterfall. i stood still to blend in, muting my eyes and willing my soul’s pulse to slow, which allowed me to watch with little notice. who was it today? i was kinda close to undyne’s house, was it her? i rarely watched her, only because i already knew she did what she said. no, this time it was the clam girl who hung out around the quiet pools of water sometimes. she looked like she was hurt and she snarled at any movement as she struggled to get to gerson’s shop. it was only a matter of time before a weaker monster would have the gall to dust her and she was lucky they weren’t flocking like a bunch of harpies. holding her broken arm, her eyes shifted in paranoia, knowing it was only a matter of time. suddenly she started throwing attacks out of my range of sight.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me, first it was bitch tits, then it was an asses horny cousin, now you? Today just isn’t my day.”

it was ned i was watching. i felt a chill in the air, as if i was supposed to be affected, but i learned far too long ago nobody could manipulate my mind or feelings unless i wanted. the pulses of intimidation he was giving off did little but buzz in the back of my skull, instead of giving me the feeling of fear. well, whatever he was doing, it kept the other monsters at a distance. did that mean he was looking for a stronger opponent? was he only out to kill the stronger monsters? each attack the clam girl threw bounced off ned or broke.

“Alright, I get it, you’re strong, not to be fucked with.” ned said sarcastically as he got closer to her. the clam girl started to panic at his approach, strangling a scream to try and prevent more monsters from flocking to her. “Keep flailing that arm like that and it’s gonna be a bitch to reset.” ned called out to the her.

“Go away!” she flinched at her own pain.  

“Great you did exactly what I warned you about.” ned scolded the clam girl. she was paralyzed with fear as he reached for her. “This will be all over swiftly, so don’t move.” here it was. he didn’t think i had eyes or trusted my instincts, now did he? the judgement hall was going to be stained instead of dusty.  ned forced a cloth into her mouth then grabbed her stubby arm and swiftly reset it. the clam girl let out a muffled scream, then he took the cloth from her mouth and tore it into two, grabbed some nearby sticks and fashioned a splint for her. “That should do it, be careful, and next time don’t flail your arm like that or it could make the break worse.” ned advised her. “Now off to that spider bitch’s den.” ned growled to himself and he left the clam girl. i wondered if he remembered food would’ve helped her even more. as if he read my mind, he tossed a small portion of a granola bar over his shoulder and into the reach of the clam girl. “Hope that helps, I don’t have much I can spare right now.” ned called out behind him, to the very confused clam girl. i chuckled inwardly. well, one thing was for sure. he wasn’t corrupted. not that it might matter much with his LV. in fact, i almost expected him to turn around and say ‘nice try’ to me but he never did. someone like him was more likely to sense me and put someone out of their misery before they suffered any longer. as he left, i felt something in me start to swirl. that son of a bitch made the smartest decision he could possibly make down here. familiarizing himself with my presence would gradually make him immune to this very effect i imposed and i wouldn’t be able to stalk him to find out what he was up to. in the meantime, i still had the advantage and i still had to watch him.  

“So that’s how she did it.” ned looked up at the cavern ceiling. “Kinda reminds me of home.” ned chuckled and casually walked to his destination, he wasn’t in any hurry. his eye lens beeped at him and he smiled. “There’s the second trick.” he muttered as he picked up a rock and whipped it at a stalactite. he must have hit the thing in the right spot, because it fell, revealing a thin, almost unseen strand of web. “High tensile strength.” ned muttered to himself as he plucked at the web. “Non-adhesive, and with a different maker.” he laughed again. “I’m starting to like this gal.” ned left the now dislodged stalactite where it was and he followed the new strand of web. eventually he got across the bridge in hotland, to the place where i lost muffet’s trail. ned looked slightly confused. then he smiled. “This girl is definitely a girl after my own heart.” ned hit the button on the elevator and the doors opened. then he pulled out a swath of spider silk and entered. i jumped into the void again and i followed him the best i could, but he managed to lose me. the four other stops were empty. ned was nowhere to be found. could he have actually found her hideout? who knew? i’d probably hear about it later today, so i decided to call it a day. it was tiring putting up a post and trailing him. i displaced and landed on the couch at home. i sighed. i hoped we weren’t having spaghetti for dinner again. 

Chapter Text

I had mixed feelings on why Pearl gave me a raise, although she claimed it was because of Ruby’s reaction, not at all the fact that she believed it was likely Sans was going to abandon me.

“hiya, sweetheart, how was work?” Sans asked as I walked in and I smiled, seeing him sinking into the couch.

“I gotta raise, the wall is fixed as if nothing happened and the door is back. Ned’s good at fixing things.” I commented. There wasn’t any indication that the wall was ever broken to begin with, in fact, it looked like it was brand new.

“thank god, i just wanna sleep.” Sans slouched further into the couch as if it was going to swallow him.

“You did that at work!” I laughed.

“heh, maybe a little.” he shrugged. “tomorrow we’re goin’ back to the lab. ‘member, we promised to go when the baby formed and gaster called and i told ‘im we’d have ned’s readin’s. we need those first ‘fore papyrus comes home.” There was a knock at the door. I looked at Sans, rolled my eyes and got up to open the door. Noticing a peephole, I peered through it to see Ned standing there with his keg under one arm and Muffet being held up by the scruff of her neck in the other. Muffet looked beyond pissed.

“Well, we have company.” I told him.

“Hey guys, guess who decided to call on us.” Ned said. As he chuckled, he had a wicked smile on his face, like he was planning something evil. As I opened the door, Ned walked in with Muffet, still being held off the ground.

“Put me down, dearie, and you won’t suffer the consequences.” Muffet hissed at Ned in a deadly voice.

“Darlin’, you managed to take my booze, the stuff that I can’t brew. Now you are going to have a seat with us and you're going to explain to me why you did a smash and grab, only rookie bandits do that.” Ned smiled back with a dangerous glint in his eyes and an evil smirk on his face.

“Don’t you know the pecking order here? Ahuhuhuhu~… dearie, you really aren’t from around this town. Don’t you know female boss monsters are, in fact, stronger due to the position we’re put in?” Muffet laughed.

“Darlin’, I blasted the pecking order to hell as soon as I stepped foot in this place, now, you are my guest and as such will be treated like one, so play nice until you leave. Would you kindly?”

“Just because I steal to supply myself, doesn’t mean I’m not without manners, dearie. However, my pet is a different story.” Muffet growled.

“you’re fixin’ the house again if that thing finds its way in ‘ere.” Sans snapped at Ned as Ned put Muffet onto the couch like a puppy.

“Don’t worry about that, she and I will come to an agreement, within these walls and in the agreement, nonnegotiable, are the terms that she is not allowed to steal from here, or harm anyone within these walls, ‘cause turns out that her family tried to steal my backpack last night and that's why I was covered in dust.” Ned walked into the living room and he set Muffet on the couch next to Sans.

“Really, Muffet? In my house?” I narrowed my eyes.

“I was unaware you lived here, dearie. You don’t always seem to walk.” Muffet held up two of her six arms, shrugging.

“So here are my terms darlin’, one, you and your family are not allowed to steal anything nor harm anyone from this home. Two, in return for my keg, you are allowed a single shot from it. You stole it fair and square, and as such, you should enjoy at least a little of it. Three, you will not steal from any establishment that I am currently in, you will wait until I leave, and in return I will not go out of my way to capture you, and finally, four, tonight I will not turn you over to Papyrus and in return, I expect a nice woven spider silk backpack on the doorstep to replace the backpack your pet ruined last night, made out of the same stuff that you used to bind me.” Ned looked at Muffet. “Do you accept these terms? If not, now is the time to counter the terms to our agreement.”

“They seem fair enough, dearie and easily done.” Muffet smiled, flashing her fangs.

“Then it’s an agreement.” Ned held out his hand for Muffet to shake. She shook his hand with three of hers. Ned took back his hand and started to shuffle around in his shredded bag and he pulled out a test tube and he uncapped his keg, pouring a single shot of the liquid into it, then capped it and his keg. Ned finally turned to Muffet and handed her the test tube. “I suggest you enjoy this away from everyone who wishes to see ya captured.” Ned warned her.

“Great, now that that’s done, come back anytime around lunch, Muffet. Bring some food and we’ll share stories. Papyrus won’t be home and the last place he’ll look is here.” I offered, smiling.

“Thank you, dearies.” Muffet took the test tube in one hand. “Perhaps I will one day for a safe place.”

“see ya ‘round, muffet.” Sans waved from the couch.

“I see just about anyone can count on you to be lazy.” Muffet grimaced. “Toodles.” She said, retreating out the door.

“Sans, go get some paper. You know how to do the readings.” I told him.

“fine, miss bossy.” he grinned, rolling his eyes.

“Ned, we have to get your readings tonight. Since they formed, we have to go to the lab tomorrow and Gaster really wants those. I hope you don’t mind.” I explained. Ned shuddered a little.

“No glass sealed chambers, or restraining units?” Ned inquired nervously, looking afraid of the very idea.

“No, you can sit on the couch.” I gave him a comforting smile, making extra sure I was radiating safety. “It’ll feel weird, but I’m sure you want to know what your soul looks like.” I wonder what he was thinking we were going to do to him.

“Alright, I guess it’s fine then, as long as I don’t have to go near Gaster.” Ned said uneasily, as he sat on the couch.

“ok, pay, you’re gonna have ta hold it until he figures it out.” Sans told me, coming back with a protractor and paper. “sorry ‘bout this, but you’re gonna feel vulnerable. we aren’t gonna hurt ya though.”

“As long as I’m not going under a knife, I shouldn’t freak out too bad.” Ned told us.

“I’m going to start, alright?” I said calmly. Ned nodded. My hands hovered over his chest, my magic flickering, starting to latch onto and gently pull at Ned’s soul. Ned flinched, probably unsure what he was feeling, and still nervous. “Relax. I might even heal a little bit.” I told him. Ned took a deep breath, trying to relax. Slowly, his soul phased from his chest.

“Feels kinda weird.” Ned looked semi-dazed.

“Told ya it was purple.” I smirked. It was dark, but I was used to that around here. Even Gaster’s soul was dark.

“whatcha got, pay?” Sans asked.

“Fear, restraint, lots of control, trust joy and a tinge of guilt towards both of us. Do you want to hold it?” I asked Ned. It felt like it was more than just a tinge of guilt and most of it was directed towards me. “It’ll help.”

“Um…” Ned still looked dazed. Sometimes the feeling of yourself outside your body could do that.

“You don’t have to touch it, it floats, like the way I’m holding it.” I explained.

“Alright… I guess.” Ned shuddered.

“Hold out your hands, palms up.” I directed and Ned complied, still shaky. “Ok, now, you feel that? That’s your energy. You just have to kinda latch onto it, tell yourself you’re holding it.” I had his soul with hands on either side of it and set it in his hands. Sans was busy, slowly drawing out symbols on his pad of paper. Ned complied.

“how ‘bout the frequency?” Sans asked.

“If I could describe it in one word, loud, in two, fast, but he’s able to slow it down to unnoticeable, unless you’re looking. The pulses are unsteady, but right now, constant, so stable.” I responded, stepping away.

“hold it steady.” Sans told Ned, holding up the protractor. “... three ‘cross… four down… warped… two depth. damn, i can feel yer nerves from here. just big ‘nough ta explain the magic thing. anything bigger ‘n two inches ‘cross has magic a some sort.” Sans said, jotting down his findings. “hey, somethin’s weird ‘bout that perseverance a yers, can ya tell pay?” Sans asked me. I shook my head.

“I haven’t held a Perseverance soul before.” I told him “But definitely a different type of energy from the others I’ve been around.” I couldn’t place the familiar energy I felt. Almost like it was hidden.

“Can’t help that… sorry.” Ned replied, in his daze.

“it’s probably normal, and if we take more readin’s, you’ll get used to it, but i ain’t gonna do it unless i’m specifically asked. look how much yer letting us influence ya.” Sans grinned sharply and let his hand light and several small cracks responded, lit up in red. I lit up my hand too and we were greeted with a lot more green than red. “looks like there’s a lotta determination that ain’t mine in there too.” Sans squinted. “people can really rub off on ya, looks like pay is, jus’ ‘member who she belongs ta. you can put ‘im back now, sweetheart.” Sans said with a hint of a growl, his head down while he wrote.

“I’m going to put it back, ok?” I told Ned, moving forward again slowly. Ned nods. My hands lit up, latching onto his soul again, and carefully phased his soul back into his chest. Once it was back in place, I pressed my hands against him for an extra second as I concentrated. “There ya go, good as new, back in the right spot.” I withdrew from him as Sans watched me. He looked thoughtful as his red gaze shifted between me and Ned.

“That felt weird.” Ned said, still slightly shaken.

“I warned you, but I guess for most people, it’s not everyday you see the part of you that’s the culmination of your being.” I chuckled softly.

“I feel kinda naked now.” Ned responded.

“exactly why i didn’t wanna do it with pap ‘round. don’t let anyone talk ya inta trying ta take yer soul out. me an’ pay are professionals and it’ll probably hurt otherwise.” Sans told him.

“Don’t plan on it.” Ned sighed in relief.

“Now you see why souls are important down here. They are literally everything. Hold one the right way, and it can give you all the emotions, feelings and thoughts of an individual, but I purposely didn’t hold it that way for privacy.” I explained.

“Thank you, I could go for some tea now.” Ned said, nervously. He was sweaty and breathing heavily.

“i’ll go get the flowers…” Sans grumbled when I looked at him. I shook my head after he left.

“Undyne makes it the best, and I have no idea how, but I’ve gotten pretty good at it.” I set a pot of water on the stove and pulled out a drawer, dumped the contents and pulled the inside board out, hiding a section with pressed, dried flowers.

“I have a recording of her preparing tea if it helps.” Ned took off his eye lens and offered it to me. “I can have her set to analyze the ingredients ya need.”

“I know the ingredients, I just don’t know the measurements.” I told him as I crushed the dried flowers and set them aside in a bag.

“She recorded that too. I have my eye lens set to always record everything.”

“So when you guys were dancing-?” I asked, starting to laugh. Ned turned slightly red.

“Yeah… I didn’t exactly have a chance to turn it off.” Ned looked slightly embarrassed.

“Oh my god, that’s too rich!” I laughed from the kitchen. “I’m not taking that one personally, just so ya know, he really does have two left feet when it comes to dancing!”

“I shouldn’t be embarrassed, considering I am literally gun for hire, assassin and a soldier, wrapped all in one.” Ned looked down as I peered out at him. “So do ya need the damn proportions or not?”

“Yeah, that would be great.” I chuckled softly and he walked over, handing his eye lens to me and then walked back to the couch and gently sat down.

“Just put it on and it will tell you the ingredients ya need, and the ones ya don’t, all ya gotta do is look at the ingredients.” Ned called into the kitchen.

“Thanks. So, what was that thing you kept feeling so strongly about me? I, uh, felt it when I was holding your soul. I wouldn’tve felt it unless it was strong or what you were immediately feeling.” I asked while putting the eye lens on. It probably would be better Sans didn’t hear this, I knew I wouldn’t get a straight answer with him here, not that it was guaranteed alone. To my slight surprise, the eye lens shifted into a pair of glasses, much like the ones I saw one of my other selves wearing.

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” Ned’s eye lens flashed red quickly.

“Ned you’re a bad liar when I can see your soul and have this thing.” an image of me flashed before my eyes, my face contorted with pain in a sterile room, I was on a stainless steel table writhing in agony. An energy was trapping the onlooker, as if they were in a cage.

“Vphb!” Ned said quickly and the eye lens stopped responding to me.

“Ned? What did you neglect to say?” I asked, wide-eyed.

Chapter Text

“Nothing that you need to worry about, it’s in the past.” Ned sighed, but the near panicked look in his eye knew what I saw.

“Well, then, it shouldn’t be long now.” I brushed off the uneasy feeling I felt and dropped it while cutting out parts of a coffee filter to make tea bags. The eye lens decided to flicker to where Ned and Sans were dancing from Ned’s perspective, then skipped a little further to Undyne making the tea, as I focused on making the tea bag.

“You’re exerting too much mental energy, I already had her set so that all ya gotta look at the ingredients and it tells ya what ya need.” Ned called from the living room. “And before ya ask how I know, my nose is sensitive enough to pick up on someone's brain chemistry in a stagnant house, and apparently though my analysis, you’re no different from others, even if you are made of magic, in fact, your body sends these messages a little louder, almost as if it’s trying to compensate for its lack of biomass.”

“Gotta still be human somehow. All of my biological matter was replaced by magic, but it all works the same, so I’d rather exert the mental energy. It also kinda makes sense I’m able to do that. I was top in class for biology and chemistry, and hanging around Sans helped with physics. My mind also tends to wander a lot and my own frequencies are strong from the readings I’ve seen. Of course, I can tone it down, but I don’t need to. That’s not the point with what I’m doing now. I’m on overdrive at almost all times for my own sake and everyone else’s.” I tried to explain.

“Well, don’t short circuit my eye lense with your over worked magical synapses.” Ned responded. “She wasn’t designed for that.”

“Sorry. I’ve got what I need, so don’t worry.” I told him.

“Don’t worry about it, if ya break her I can fix her with a normal soter pen and a microscope.”

“and we have those.” Sans reappeared with fresh flowers. His sockets widened and his face dusted red a bit when he saw me with glasses on.

“Thanks, hun.” Instead of taking the flowers right away, I pulled him into the kitchen and raked my nails through his shirt and laughed at his face, which was now bright red.

“Could you not tease him with my eye lens on? It’s still recording ya know.” Ned yelled into the kitchen, still lounging on the couch. Ned mumbled something in a different language and a new tab in the eye lense popped up, translating what Ned said. ‘I don’t need any more information on the mating habits of an interspecies couple.’

“da fuck was that?” Sans asked.

“Apparently, his native language.” I giggled. “He said he doesn’t want to know any more of our ‘mating habits.’” I air quoted.

“be glad we don’t do worse ‘round ya.” Sans laughed.

“Thanks for hanging those.” I looked at the flowers still in his hands as I poured three cups of tea and walked out of the kitchen.

“Right, I forgot to tell ya, I’m baking new china as we speak. I’ll go and on check on them soon.” Ned said.

“You didn’t have to do that.” I told him, giving him a cup.

“For my prank on Papyrus, yes I do. I’m going to replace all of his current china with the new stuff.” Ned grinned.

“how is that a prank?” Sans asked.

“When I’m done, they are going to turn a spotty brown color when put under water.”

“that’ll get ‘im, until ‘e breaks ‘em all.” Sans chuckled.

“Also, your kids did a number on the last set, so I figured ya didn’t feel like spending money on stuff that I can simply make with the raw material.” he shrugged.

“Yeah, we would’ve figured out how to deal with it. Broken dishes are not actually uncommon with these two.” I glanced at Sans.

“Good thing I made that ceramic furnace in the basement then.” Ned said as he laid back.

 “now all i need ta do is get that processor goin’.” Sans grumbled. “‘course, when i actually get time is nice… maybe tomorrow. i actually had ta do something taday.” Ned chuckled and spoke in his native language again.

‘Ya should probably take less naps and actually think about your project ya might actually get somewhere with it.’ I laughed again.

“He’s right, ya know.” I told Sans.

“i don’t know what the fuck he said!” he took his hands out of his pockets and shrugged.

“If you took less naps, you might get somewhere.” Sans grumbled incoherently. “What was that?” I asked.


“Yeah, I guess that's fair.” Ned responded “With your inability to take a hit I guess you wouldn’t sleep soundly.”

“yer small, yer not a threat. ya don’t pay attention, not a threat. i learned fast ya gotta run to survive when you’re like me. an’ trust me, it ain’t taken kindly if ya don’t fight back. they say it’s luck, but it ain’t that. it’s a skill that’s frowned upon and that’s why i’m only a sentry.” Sans said quietly, starting to retreat upstairs.

“Well Patience, did ya figure out how my eye lens worked?” Ned asked me.      

“It was easy. Almost idiot proof.” I laughed.

“Programing her was a bitch though.”

“Not my forte, but I bet. I’ve heard it from my brother. He tried his hand at programming quite a few things… of course… I don’t even know if I had one here.” I brightened then sank, remembering my older brother.

“There’s a reason I have her on record all the time.” Ned told me.

“I don’t even have a picture, I left it all behind when I fell…” I sniffled. Damn these hormones. They hit me in the weirdest ways. Ordinarily, it was just a sad thought, then I’d think to myself that I had Sans and kinda Papyrus, but now it was just a sad feeling welling in my chest and making it ache.

“You understand how my eye lens works, then you should also know that she can read a person's memories and construct composite images from them, but it’s only if the user shows it willingly.” Ned informed me.

“He’s probably dead, y’know, at least, in my world…” I trailed off.

“pay… you’re cracking.” Sans immediately came back.

“I should probably take back my eye lens and go.” Ned said looking guilty.

“Don’t feel bad. I knew I was going to be in stasis for the long run and I’d be lucky to see either of my siblings. I hope I at least found my sister. No one’s talked through the flowers, so that’s hope.” I handed back the pair of glasses.

“It can reconstruct images of your family if you want, but not now, you're a little less stable with your hormones.” Ned put his eye lense back on and he drank his tea. It transformed back into its monocle like appearance.

“It’s probably not the best idea right now.” I agreed, wiping my tears aside.

“pay…” Sans looked worried.

“It’s in the past. The past can hurt, but it’s bittersweet. They were good to me.” I assured him as he put his arms around me.

“i know, but tone it down. i don’t want ya shatterin’. ‘specially not now.” Sans spoke gently.

“Right.” I sipped at the rest of my lukewarm tea.

“Thank you for the tea, I gotta check the pottery now.” Ned stood up.

“Thank you for giving me a chance to maybe see them again.” I said quietly, taking his cup. Ned walked out of the house. “Stupid hormones…” I sighed.

“heh, i guess i shouldn’t be too surprised. i was warned. ya look tired, sweetheart and now that we know there’s two of ‘em, maybe it was a good thing i doubled up on ya.” he chuckled, nuzzling into me.


“not tanight, i know, but bonding i ain’t letting go.” He said seriously.

“What’d ya think about Ned’s soul?” I asked, trying to take my mind away from my family.

“haven’t really seen another human soul, only one i have to compare it to is yours and it’s back ta normal. his is stayin’ like that.” Sans observed.

“I know and those twists mess with your stability. You and I both have been around enough to know he isn’t always stable, especially at the lab. Gaster set him off in the worst way.” I said thoughtfully.

“the EXP and LV levels help with that too, but that never stopped ‘im before. papyrus is pretty high up there too.” Sans reminded me.

“It helps he’s not obsessed with killing or anything else like that. He likes creating instead of destroying…” It was weird occurrence, almost as if he was Determined not to be what others around him were. 

“ugh, you humans are weird with your fuckin’ high resiliency.” Sans rolled his eyes.

“Pottery is all done cooking.” Ned said, coming back into the house. “I’ll let it cool for the night and paint it tomorrow.” Ned looked at Sans. “If I wasn’t as resilient, I’d probably have broken down in the lab, and not panicked, broken down. I’d probably woulda given up and died.” he lectured.

“it ain’t like many ta give up an’ die, even without determination as a dominant aspect. it makes ya that much more fragile.” Sans told him back in almost the same tone. “everyone’s got a little bit a everything.”

“Not many people confirm that they are a prototype super soldier, whose name comes from a project called ‘Never Ending Destruction...’” Ned trailed off.

“That makes sense now.” I started pacing. “Rarely do people want to do what others assume is their ‘destiny,’ although it is assuming you weren’t brainwashed or something, which you weren’t obviously.”

“No, I was lucky enough for the train I was on to be hijacked by a war band, which is where I took my last name from, they wanted to use me for the same purpose that the torso I brought with me intended, but they sent me to school instead.” Ned shrugged.

“They saw you as a person, not a tool of war. That’s the first step in compassion. There’s more to you than just the outside skin.” I smiled.

“The skin was forced on me through experimentation, by a guy that had scars like Gaster.” Ned shuddered.

“not what she meant, it was a joke jabbed at me. i rub off, heh. sometimes she fergets not everyone in the house is a skeleton.” Sans chuckled.

“I have one, don’t I? Anyway, I can’t say I’ve been through experimentation, but I have the experience.” I shuddered myself.

“yeah… my fault. switching aspects is not pleasant, ta say the least ‘bout it. i dunno what you want me ta say ‘bout gaster, but even though he’s changed the past few months, there’s nothin’ bad i can say ‘bout him. i’ll try ta keep ‘im away from ya if you’re that scared he’s gonna do something to ya, but if that happens, i can’t guarantee a way back to yer universe.” Sans told him. 

“With the way things are in your world, I can’t just build my way out of here either. The tech, once built, can’t be fully destroyed. Alphys or Gaster might find a fragment and if that happens, I’d be providing them with a way out, along with everyone else here.” Ned sighed.

“At least Gaster knows we aren’t ready. He gave the idea to the king that he should wait for seven humans to make their way to him so he could break the barrier.” As usual I looked on the bright side of things, but who was I kidding? That was the old Gaster. The present one I couldn’t say what he would do.

“That’s not the point, the point is, if Gaster gets the tech, someone else can too. I’m better off leaving with outside help, and not using my tech.” Ned looked down. “I always find a way into the worst problems.” Ned sat back down. “This sucks.” Sans cleared his non-existent throat and paused for a moment as if he was thinking whether or not to say something.

“... i built a multi-dimensional machine in another universe. if they show up again, they might be able to help ya.” He said slowly. “‘course their timeline goes faster than this one, so who knows when or if they will.”

“Thats better news then, knowing how to make something, but can’t without endangering everything.” Ned replied with a smile

“Their world is a lot less dangerous than this one too. I have a feeling ya might get along better with ‘er double there than you do ‘er. Ya might have to stay a little while though, they get tired from transportin’, but not too long.” Sans told him.

“I have a neat trick for that.” Ned said with a smile and the air grew colder around us. He stood up and put a hand on both of our foreheads and a jolt of energy ran through us. Was this a Perseverance magic transfer? We both jumped at the same time. “Great for charging cellphones and your partner when she gets tired.” Ned laughed. “Too bad this has the side effect of a boosted libedo.”

“i can work with that…” Sans grinned and looked at me deviously.

“How long is this going to last?” I was a little worried.

“Um, I may have went a little overboard, so I estimate about two days and two nights, but for the next two days and nights you won’t feel fatigue...” Ned said, twiddling his thumbs. I could feel Sans breathing down my neck. I felt the color drain from my face. His eye was lit up in Ned’s eye lens and a cheshire grin grew in the glare of the red light, his gold tooth shining. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I promise to make it up to you later…” Ned placed his hand on my shoulder. He wasn’t sorry. This had to be one of his pranks.

“I have two choices. Run or accept the consequences.” I grumbled.

“and you can’t run forever.” Sans laughed darkly, getting closer. He didn’t trap me yet. He wanted to give me ample time if I was going to run.

“Oh, you’re gettin’ it.” I pointed at Ned while Sans started dragging me up the stairs. “I just went through this with him a few months ago, damn it!” Ned’s smile told me he was using Sans as his own pawn. I could see him laughing internally.           

“Well, there isn’t anything I can do for ya, Patience, although the libedo shouldn’t be kicking in just yet.” Ned observed, amused Sans was already dragging me.

“you think i care about that? i was granted energy for two whole days, i’m gonna have a good time!” Sans opened his mouth and his tongue slid out into the crook of my neck.

“Best be careful then, when she gets her boosted libedo she might take you for a ride if you're too rough!” Ned shouted up the stairs. The front door suddenly burst open and Papyrus walked in, the wind impressively blowing his scarf dramatically.  “Come on man, don’t do that, I just replaced that door.” Ned whined.


“Explains how I managed to rip the door off its hinges so easily.” Ned retorted as our door slammed behind Sans.

“i know i said i wasn’t gonna bone ya taday, but this is just too much ta past up.”

Chapter Text

“Sans!” she crossed her arms, giving me a frown and a glower.

“sweetheart, we’d better burn this off.” i told her. i ran my hands over her waist. when she didn’t push me away, i pulled her closer.

“It hasn’t even hit and you’re already intent on humping me like a dog!”

“he gave us energy for two fuckin’ days! those kids gotta be hungry too after all that taday.”

“Sans you’re being used! Ned’s playing you to get back at me.” she threw her hands up.

“you see ‘im killin’ anyone?” i asked.


“then i don’t see anythin’ wrong.” i grinned.

“He’s manipulating you!”

“i know an’ ‘til it ain’t right, ‘m not doin’ anything.” i already felt heat rising to my face and her’s was beginning to brighten in the dim light of our room. “sweetheart, let’s fuck.” i growled. i tangled my hand in her hair, pressing against the back of her head. she melted into my hold, her soft lips pressing into my teeth roughly. the blur of ripping of off each other’s clothes went fast, but right when i positioned myself to ram into her, panting started. i looked at pay and she looked back, giving me a weirded out face. it wasn’t either of us.

“What the hell?” pay questioned.

“i dunno.” i shrugged. the noise shifted to a familiar sound of humping dogs. pay pulled away and looked out the window and the noises stopped.

“Nothing out there, um…”

“ferget ‘bout it.” i rolled my eyes. she squeaked when i pulled her back over with my magic. low melodic moaning sang loudly, jarring me as soon as she was close and she started laughing inexplicably. “what the hell is that?” i asked.

“Whales, oh my god! Why!?” she barely got out through laughter.

“whales?” i questioned. she turned and the moaning stopped.

“The largest animal in the world presently. They’re aquatic, look like fish, but there are a few differences, like they’re mammals, which means they need air, have warm blood, take care of their young and also swim with a vertical motion, versus a horizontal one.” she explained quickly.

“pay, i’m not ‘ere fer a lesson. i’m ‘ere fer your dose a vitamin d.” i growled. i honestly was satisfied with her answer, but quickly sinking into the state of needing her. i spun her forcefully over our bed. yowls started as i rammed into her. i tried to ignore it and it seemed to work for me, but pay pushed away again.

“Now cats? I-I just can’t.” her face was flushed.

“pay, sweetheart…” i pleaded, pressing against her. i froze as it felt like paper and cotton was stuffed into my skull. “god fuckin’ damn it!” i swore, pawing at my ear holes.

“Cicadas. Not a fan of those either.” she grimaced. “You want sex, we gotta clean and find whatever the hell Ned put in here. I wanna break that, then him.” her eyes glowed in anger.

“no problem, pay.” i stopped my silent cyclone and picked up everything in the room. she opened all the drawers of our dresser, pulling out everything and floating things like i was. “anythin’ outta place?”

“Found it!” she pulled out a device that looked like a computer mouse.

“i found two of ‘em. ‘e fuckin’ touched my sock pile! ya don’t touch a guy’s sock pile damn it!” i growled as i found one there and one under the bed.

“Wait, there’s one in the lamp.” she sighed, annoyed.

“an’ one in my trash.” i was getting irritated too.

“HE FUCKING BUGGED US!” pay screeched, all five of them shattered at the pressure she was putting on them through anger.

“we’ll take care a him after we’re done.” i said lowly. the moment i touched her, high pitched squeaks and whines echoed against each other.

“Dolphins? Seriously?!?!?” pay yelled.

“we jus’ missed one.” i tried to calm her. she pounded her fist into the bed and let out a frustrated noise as i looked again. this time, i noticed there was one more paper than was usual in my cyclone area. i searched through them quickly and found the odd one out.

You might wanna clean up, just a little warning.

i growled at it and tore it up. i found three more. she broke them again in another flash of anger, the parts exploding all over the room.

“god fuckin’ damn it! how many a these does ‘e gotta put in ‘ere?!” if he thought i was going to help him once pay went after him, he was dead wrong now.

“Get over here!” pay yelled and roughly pushed me onto the ground, hooking her hands into the bottom of my ribcage. i smirked. angry sex was fun, especially when i wasn’t the one she was angry at. a gurgling squeak grunted and she was up, going for the door. “Turtles fucking?!? Really!? I’m done!” she stormed out. “NED!” she slammed him into a wall off the couch where he was sleeping, advancing at him.

“Good morning to you too, tuts.” ned grumbled, still groggy. “What do you want!?!” ned asked, with a pissed off gleam in his eye. “Its three in the fucking morning!”

“I think you know.” pay told him sharply, then slammed him into another wall.

“we fuckin’ cleaned my room lookin’ fer what the hell you put in there and still didn’t find it!” i growled. his face remained hard, but his soul was another story. it looked like it was on some sort of high note.

“I have no idea what you're talking about, I did a lot yesterday.” ned responded cooly.

“You’d better say something before he gets any worse, or maybe even me. I have magic to spare thanks to you.” pay threatened.

“oh, an’ by worse, she means now.” i rumbled. “i ain’t there yet.”

“Seriously, what are you guys talking about?” ned managed to show no outward sign of guilt.

“Asshole, no one else could do whatever the hell you did.” pay snarled at him.

“Clearly, ya didn’t look in the floorboards.” ned cracked a smile, and finally started to laugh. “By the way Patience, twenty-eight more pranks.” she let him go, noticing me moving closer. now watching him, i was pissed.

“c’mon, lemme at least knock ‘im down to five HP.” i told her as she held me back.

“Sans, I’ll make it up to ya, promise, also, I kept my promise to you, Patience.” ned told us sincerely. “Sorry that ya got caught in the crossfire, Sans.” ned started walking upstairs.

“i’ll hold ya to it. i hate promises and that’s enough for me ta knock ya down, so ya better deliver or ya might be dead.” i threatened, as he passed by us.

“Excuse me, please.” ned went right in between us and into our now clean room. he looked around and went to where he hid the soundmaker and pulled it out of the floor. “This was the culprit.” ned held up another small device, the same as the ones pay broke. “Now that this is disabled, have fun.” ned tossed the device to me, walked out of our room and back downstairs. “Might I suggest you guys try out different spots? I promised Papyrus that I’d soundproof your room today, Sans.” ned looked between the two of us, as we were still glowering at him. “Also I’ll write up a book for ya, I think you’ll enjoy it.” i narrowed my sockets and grabbed onto pay, letting the full brunt of the obnoxious flash of displacement hit ned full in the face. i wasted no time shoving, only to be shoved back harder. i stumbled in cold snow, falling on my back. her hand snaked gently over my neck. playing that game now weren’t we?

“Dick out, now!” she demanded. i chuckled menacingly. how could i say no?


Ned Makes a(nother) Friend


“PATIENCE! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MORNINGS!?” Papyrus yelled from his room. Instead of Patience or Sans,  Ned poked his head out, wondering why Papyrus was shouting.

“She’s already gone Papyrus.” Ned shouted in kind from their room, going back to soundproofing the wall farthest from Papyrus’s room.

“DAMN IT, WHY ARE YOU MAKING SO MUCH NOISE?!” Papyrus asked, from the doorway of Sans’s room.

“I told ya last night I’d soundproof it for ya so you can sleep better.” Ned responded with a hammer in hand and nails in his mouth, focusing on the wall that he was working on.


“First off, chill with the yelling, second off, I’m doing you a favor, and third, no, they cleaned this room last night.” Ned responded after he finished what he was doing to the wall. “You’d be surprised at what a sound box can do.”

“PROCEED, BUT DON’T KNOCK MY HOUSE DOWN.” Papyrus said, going downstairs to look for breakfast. He looked at the cold stove in disdain, and shuffled around the kitchen, when Ned decided to come downstairs to get a drink.

“Hungry?” he asked as Papyrus had his entire upper body in the fridge.

“OBVIOUSLY.” He snorted.

“Seriously, chill with the yelling, and pick out something cold, I got a neat little trick for problems like this.” Papyrus finally picked something from the fridge, finding some already cooked, but cold scrambled eggs. “Hand me the plate.” Papyrus looked at Ned suspiciously, but did. “Now stab me.”

“Why would you want me to stab you again?” Ned smiled.

“It’s a cool trick, I can turn the energy that you used to stab me into energy that can heat your food. It will taste like they were just cooked too.” Ned replied.

“FINE.” Papyrus stabbed at Ned with another bone knife, shattering it. The food cooked instantly and Ned put the plate onto the counter, the eggs steaming as if they were fresh off the stove.

“Careful its hot.” Ned laughed and walked back upstairs to finish soundproofing Sans’s room.

“THERE’S NOTHING TO BURN!” Papyrus reminded Ned.

“Fair point!” Ned shouted back. Papyrus’s cat decided to be nosy, pawing at the slightly open door and it walked into Sans’s room, rubbing against Ned’s legs and purring.

“RAZOR! GET OUT OF THERE THIS INSTANT!” Papyrus yelled at his cat. He continued to rub against Ned’s legs.

“Um, what did I do to make the doombringer like me like that?” Ned asked, half wondering, half focusing on the second wall.

“RAZOR!” the cat looked up at his name, but instead, laid down on Sans’s bed.

“Ya know, back home, there’s doombringers much bigger and much more ill tempered than that one.” Ned said as he worked. “Much more likely to rip off your face than to cuddle your shins.”

“Purroew!” The cat rubbed against Papyrus’s arm before he picked him up, cradling the cat in his arms. He climbed to Papyrus’s shoulders and stayed there.

“That doombringer is definitely much more mellow than normal doombringers.” Ned sais as he watched the cat from the corner of his eye, continuing to work.

“He’s my cat for a reason.” Papyrus said, petting the cat with his opposite hand. He walked carefully out of the room. Several minutes later, the door opened and closed as he left for work.

Chapter Text

Somehow, we ended up in Waterfall, behind Sans’s sentry post, but at this point, I didn’t really care.

“Hhhhuuuu…” I moaned lowly, as my body bobbed up and down over Sans.

“jus’ like that, sweetheart. make me cum again.” Red, sticky magic mess slopped and lubricated my movements. I didn’t know how many times either of us came last night, but I was slowly getting used to the fog of lust.

“You’d just love that wouldn’t you?” I hissed and he shivered beneath me and groaned.

“take all a my magic ‘til ‘m jus’ dust, make me die a happy man…” he babbled, sweaty.

“Then cum.” I commanded. He let out a lower guttural groan, filling me again, and holding my hips down in an iron grip.  

“Look out below!” I bobbed my head up over the booth and Ned came flying out of nowhere, landing  on his face, creating a crater and a huge mound of rock and dirt right next to the sentry post. “Sans, Patience, pull up your panties!”

“What the hell? I thought you were busy in our room!” I frowned, scrambling to at least try to clean up. The red magic around us dissipated as Sans adjusted his shorts and sat behind me.

“No, I was showing Undyne a throwing move, and it worked too well.” Ned got back up.

“coulda put less strength inta that.” Sans said, his voice seemed lower, but if it was, Ned didn’t seem to care.

“Yeah, well I ain’t Undyne, and she doesn't do restraint.” Ned shook his head, knocking off the loose rocks and dirt out of his hair.

“heh, classic undyne.” Sans chuckled.

“HEY NERD! WHERE’D YA GO?” Undyne’s voice echoed.

“Over here, lizard fucker!” Ned smiled and shouted back. I hopped over the sentry post to the other side.

“What the fuck Sans! I thought you called off or something?” Undyne asked.

“changed my mind.” he muttered.

“Patience, did your tits get bigger or what?” Undyne asked me out of the blue.

“Um, uh, I dunno. It has been a while since I saw you.” I responded quietly, my face burning.

“It would make sense. For once, she is wearing a padded bra.” Ned lied through his teeth. I wasn’t wearing any bra yet. It’s carcass would’ve been strewn somewhere in the forest otherwise.

“These things are expensive and he always freaking has to break them!” I took the out, jabbing at Sans.

“what? i don’t like ‘em.” Sans shrugged when Undyne looked at him.

“BWAHAHAHA! You three are pathetic! But whatever. You wanna try that one again, nerd?” Undyne asked Ned.

“Sure, but this time show a little restraint. I’m trying to show you how to capture humans, not kill them.” Ned scolded.

“Killing, capturing, as long as we get the soul outta them.” Undyne shrugged.

“Killing humans through physical means shatters the soul instantly, Undyne.” Ned said, as if he knew everything about the subject. I bit my tongue.

“Uh, hello? Who has the energy spears made of what? Magic?” Undyne said sarcastically.

“Um, hello? Its easier to collect data through live specimens.” Ned responded just as sarcastically.

“Hey, we don’t need them alive.” Undyne told him in finality.

“shes gotta point.” Sans joined in.

“Sans!” I prodded at him for encouraging the killing of humans.

but gaster might be able to replicate the energy of a soul if he had a live human.” he huffed, finishing.

“Thank you.” I told him, sighing.

“So what’s up with you, Patience, how come you’re stuck with the shop and the bar? You’re powerful enough to be a guard if you wanted.” Undyne asked me.

“I wouldn’t care enough and most likely would sleep like Sans does. Seriously, it seems like waiting for humans is a waste of if time.” I rolled my eyes, having an immediate answer for that. “How many have you seen?”

“That makes no difference, punk!” Undyne’s scales turned a little pink and I laughed.  

“Look at that, ya got fish face blushing.” Ned laughed too.

“Sh-shut up! No one’s seen a human down here for a long time!” Undyne shouted at us. “And if lazyass over here could actually show us what one looked like, we’d know for sure!” 

“All the more reason to capture one alive!” Neds face hardened. “And didn’t I tell you before? Mutates look human enough to live amongst humans, that means we don’t stand out.”

“Ha! The last time I listened to that story, you said there was a way out. Let me break it to ya. There isn’t any! I dunno how much time we spent lookin’ for one just so we could get out, but… this is it.” Undyne got quieter. “But you do look similar to the anime humans. Face is wrong, but similar. Makes me wonder…”

“i know what humans look like and he ain’t one. soul ain’t right.” Sans told her quickly. 

“I’ve been trying to tell her that too.” Ned facepalmed.

“No, something I heard about a long time ago.” Undyne shivered. “Just a disgusting thought, but that was before most of our times.” Sans leaned forward, clearly interested.

“what’d ya hear?” he asked.

“Something about human and monster hybrids existing, but that’s pretty impossible, right? Granpap won’t tell me anymore, but he forgets a lot, y’know? I wonder if half his stories are true.” Undyne smiled.

“Pretty crazy, right?” I grined back, a little too hard. Ouch, my face, but there was no turning back now.

“I may just look into that later.” Ned pondered, then he pulled a USB memory drive from his eye lens. “Hand this to Alphys when ya see her next, she’ll know what to do with it.” he walked over to Undyne and handed her the memory drive. “Now, let’s get back to training.”

“I bet I can throw you past the Hotland sign.” Undyne sneered.

“Betcha you can’t.” Ned responded, provoking her. “Tell ya what, if you can’t throw me past the Hotland sign, then you have to practice restraint for the next week.” Ned smiled devilishly.

“And if I win?” Undyne asked.

“I made the demands of if you lose, I think it’s fair to make the demand if you win.” Ned shrugged.

“Then… if I win, you teach me how you shattered that dummy like ya did.” Undyne thought for a moment. Sans and I looked at each other, thinking the same thing, smirking like idiots.

“Deal, let’s spice things up, I’ll hand over another anime if you do it from here and double it if you do it using the throwing technique I taught ya.” Ned’s smile grew wider.

“No blasts, and don’t move.” Undyne told him, removing large portions of her armor.

“Wasn’t plannin’ on it.” Ned smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Let’s see whatcha got.” Ned took a fighting pose and Undyne hurled him, using it a technique that Ned clearly taught her. Just when he was about to hit a wall, a net of spears appeared, intending to bounce him in a different direction as Undyne raced behind him. Ned absorbs the energy spears and he flew deep into the wall coming to a complete stop.

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE, PUNK!” Undyne shouted, a little upset her plan didn’t work.

“I didn’t move, I was spinning too fast to concentrate to tell my skin not to absorb energy!” Ned’s voice echoed from the hole in the wall. “OH, SHIT, THAT WAS TOO MUCH ENERGY!” he yelled, and he blew up, flying out of the hole getting another mouth full of dirt. We burst out laughing.

“Leech.” Undyne muttered, not so amused. Ned spat out the dirt.

“Leeches voluntarily absorb energy, I don’t.” Ned said in a semi angry tone. He was offended by that? “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to absorb your spears.”

“And I would’ve won that bet if you didn’t.” Undyne pouted.

“Well, tell ya what, if you make it through a week, practicing with restraint, I’ll hand over the animes or teach ya that technique, but ya gotta pick one.” Ned held up a hand to emphasize.

“Sweet. Let’s go before those nerds start doing it again.” Undyne laughed.

“Alright, by the way Sans, I finished soundproofing your room.” Ned waved to us and walked off with Undyne.

“i think that was enough of a break.” Sans grinned wider, looping his arms around my waist.

“Sans, no!” I barely had enough time to prepare myself and our kids being dragged into the Void.



“what the hell!?” i exclaimed. as he told us, i immediately figured out my room was now a sound box by how my voice carried, but that wasn’t what was wrong.

“What?” pay asked as i stared at my corner.

“i’m gonna strangle that son of a bitch!”

“Calm down Sans. I’m sure that-”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS SITTING WHERE MY SOCKS WERE?!” i growled at ned, immediately jumping to where he was. ned laughed. he fucking laughed.

“Looks like ya found your new dresser.” he grinned.

“i have a dresser, damn it! i don’t need one fer my socks!”

“You don’t even wear socks, you idiot, why the fuck do you have them?” undyne asked, pointing to my black slippers.

“‘cause i have shoes, i just don’t wear ‘em.” i glowered. “that was the only damn thing pap couldn’t see in my room and you - you-”

“I just moved them, you can put them back, the dresser isn’t nailed down.” ned interjected me. “Give the thing to Patience, I’m sure she’d like it.”

“whatever. don’t touch my socks.” i crossed my arms. no one touches my socks.

“There you are. What’s wrong?” pay asked, appearing nearby.

“fuckin’ socks.” i grumbled. those were just- just-

“Are you upset he touched your only thing you could call underwear?” pay laughed. immediately, i felt my face heat with magic and i tried to burrow into the fur lining of my jacket.

“To be fair, I moved them to prevent them from getting sawdust in them.” ned shrugged. undyne snorted at pay’s question and my reaction.

“Really, Sans?” she laughed. ned laughed with her, putting his hands on his belt as he did, which he normally didn’t do. it was so subtle that i almost didn’t notice it.

“don’t fuckin’ touch my socks…” i grumbled again before going back… only to be pushing aside what felt like warm rubber, soft, hard and all in the shape of dicks in my room. my sour mood shifted as i grinned. this almost made up for my socks. my eyes shifted to pay as hers widened, then she scowled, took one and displaced again. i followed her.

“Care to tell us why th-” pay looked at her now empty hand.

“Care to tell you what?” ned looked confused.

“the fuck?” i was just as confused as they both looked.

“The point being, there was a dildo pit made out of his room.” pay narrowed her eyes.

“Then where’s the dildo?” ned asked, pointedly.

“What the fuck are you guys talking about? I wouldn’t be complaining if my room turned into a dildo pit.” undyne smiled.

“i could do that if i wanted, so we don’t need it.” i snickered. “and if i got vibrators i could-”

“Sans, shut up!” pay yelled at me, her face becoming bright red. aww… that’s how i liked her. she was gonna let me take over once we got started again. ned burst out laughing at pay’s face.

“Still, I see no evidence, so why are you accusing me? I was right in front of you between the time Sans came to grumble about his undergarments, to when you reappeared in front of us now.” ned pointed out.

“Only you could do something like that. The worst Papyrus could do to our room is trash it and you’re the only one who has that capability.” patience told him.

“Did you not just hear your boy toy? He literally just admitted that he could do the same, so couldn’t others do it too?” ned laughed. “Besides, the only magic I’m capable of is explosion magic, the best I could come up with is a vibrator.”

“They’d all be one color and wouldn’t disappear imbecile!” pay yelled at him, frustrated.

“I see no evidience of these dildos.” ned laughed, putting his hands on his hips, right on his belt again. “Prove it, and let’s bring Undyne as a witness, to prove that you're not exaggerating.”

“Fine then.” patience grabbed undyne and i grabbed ned. “see, there’s- no dildos.” pay opened the door, which she was prepared to jam a tiny bit of space to show them when it freely swung open. “Ned stop trying to drive me crazy!” she yelled at him.

“Seriously, there is no evidence of a single dildo let alone a dildo pit, stop accusing me of this. I clearly didn’t do what you claimed I did.” he smirked.

“Just why?” undyne asked, confused. damn it! plans ruined… well, maybe only a little.

“Accuse my ass.” patience spat. ned looked confused outwardly, but on the inside, he was lighting up. he was holding back and she was right.

“Well, you guys interrupted training, you can take us back.” ned said flatly looking unamused. pay watched at ned, convinced just like i was he had something to do this.

“... if you have anything to do with this…”

“Whatcha gonna do to me? Throw me into the wall, or better yet, the magma pit again?” ned stared hard at pay. “Ya already did all that to me over the sound machine and the home invasion.” it was a bluff.

“Tell me, what happens if I just abandon you in the Void?” patience smiled eerily just before i grabbed undyne.

“shit! i’ll be back with ‘im!” my sockets widened. she wasn’t bluffing. another second and i was back.

“I don’t really know…” ned responded, understandably confused and slightly unnerved while backing away ever so slightly.

“you wouldn’t do that. you know what happens, pay.” my face hardened. “hormones talkin’. i was warned ‘bout the mood swings. she ain’t usually like this.” i tried to reassure ned.

“Yeah, you’re one to talk! You treat me like I’m glass and I’m not!” the kids were getting hungry again. damn! i just fed them a few hours ago!

“yep, one a ‘em is tryin’ determination out fer sure.” i sighed. “sweetheart, you know i don’t treat ya like glass, more like, uh, some sorta ore.” i smirked. 

“Gold?” ned threw out.

“whatever ‘e said. lemme just take ‘im back, ok?” i told her pleasantly and she backed off.

“She could get some tea… that might balance the hormones out?” ned questioned as i pulled him by the shoulder to the other side.

“like i said, determination’s a bitch.” i grumbled. “it might calm ‘er hormones, but not ‘er so much.” i told him.

“Yeah, I gathered that.” ned put his hands on his belt yet again.

“‘member what i said? don’t upset ‘er too much and she won’t hurt ya? take that ta heart. she was seriously thinkin’ about leavin’ ya in the void.” i warned him.

“I’ll remember that.” ned looked at undyne and then at me, smiling like he had won the lottery. “Also, tell her twenty seven when ya get back.”

“i’m taking advantage a those things if they’re back.” i smirked. “if you had somethin’ ta do with this, they better be back.”

“Just go do it, ya freaky skeleton!” undyne yelled at me. i displaced home to land on top of the multi- colored dildos… and no pay. damn it, i was still horny! i sighed and closed my eyes. i found i could instinctively find her if i could just clear my damn mind and not panic. my breathing slowed until i could only hear my soul beat. i displaced in instinct in the general direction where i believed she would be… and considering, it was probably to beat on ned. i was right around the corner and i knew she was close.

 “Sounds good to me.” undyne laughed loudly.

“Or when I’m done punking bitch tits and skelly, I could just trade her for the device.” ned laughed as he dodged and redirected undyne’s spears.

“Hope she doesn’t try to pull it apart figuring out how it works if you do.” undyne snickered. “That’d be a waste!”

“Yeah, I did program it for dildos solely.” ned thought out loud.

“Dildos or not, whatever it is, she’ll be interested. Nerds usually are, but whatever the hell you made to make that happen, I’d just be interested in those dildos.” undyne laughed again.

“So you’re interested in a two feet deep dildo pit?” ned asked as if he was a bit surprised.

“As long as they aren’t the same one, they get boring after a while. So what do-” ned was suddenly flung back into a wall.

“You think I’m that stupid!?!” pay glared at him, coming out of her hiding place.

“No, but you shoulda seen your face when the dildos were not where you said they were.” ned laughed hysterically.

“Why don’t we pay the Void a visit?” patience smiled, walking towards ned.

“How about we don’t and say we didn’t?” ned questioned nervously, trying to, at that point, become one with the wall.

“hey! i ain’t done showin’ you, ya ain’t glass, pay.” i displaced quickly, and pulled at her through the void and ned was released. he owed me for that one. bouncing comfortably on the still warm rubber appendages. “you wanna be bent? ‘cause i’ll fuckin’ bend ya into a pretzel.” i growled.           

Chapter Text

I shivered as he grabbed my arms and pulled them above my head by the wrists, fitting both in one hand. His free hand bunched up my shirt and he ran a single finger up my abdomen, then a full out hand cupping a breast. Forcefully, he tore my shirt over my shoulders and tied my hands together with it. Next, he lifted me in full view of himself, grinning manically the entire time. Now surrounded in red glow, my shorts were slipped off and tossed to the side, disappearing in the mounds of sex toys. Suspension by Sans was gentle, but long periods of time could lead to losing the feeling in my arms. Several dildos lifted up, big ones and I stared at them, waiting for him to decide.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” I demanded.

“unless yer beggin’, shut yer damn mouth. ‘s my turn ta be rough.” he cupped my chin. “ya look like you could use a good breakin’.” He whispered deviously. One of the dildos slipped between my legs and rubbed the lips of my pussy and another poked at my ass crack, teasing me. His chest rumbled, as his hands circled my skin, just barely touching me, then painfully squeezing my hips. I leaned forward, already hot and panting as the minutes ticked by. The grin he gave when he refused to kiss me spelled danger and my heart raced as he ran a finger up my spine. He placed a hand back on my hip, positioning his thumb over my clit and his other hand firmly on my breast. If that didn’t do the trick, he knew what to do to ramp it up, but being sensitive already after last night and this morning, it wasn’t hard to elict moans from my lips. Slick sounds of wetness crackled from my loins and Sans practically purred as I tried to wiggle out of this torturous pleasure. My moans became despirate, more need growing in the pit of my belly.

“Sans, please…”

“please what? all a you? alright.” That teasing smile was too much for my gaze, the “I win” attitude boiled over and intensified in my mind. I wasn’t going to let him win! I wiggled more, struggling now, panting with effort and lust.


My ass was slapped and I cried out.

“don’t even think ‘bout tryin’ ta get away.” Sans growled.


“what da ya want, sweetheart? i’ll give it to ya, you just gotta say.” His voice came out in a purr again. As he said this, all ministrations doubled in speed, making me squeak and swallow any words in my throat and flutter away out my ears. “what’s wrong, hmm?” he asked as my eyes rolled back. The glee in his voice was uncontained as I gave in and he laughed.

“Fffff…” Air hissed between my teeth as the word ended in another moan. He had bent down, his tongue chasing my clit as he pinched it between two phalanges. My muscles tensed then went limp as my body gave up. “Fuck me!” I trembled, jerking slightly here and there, but his magic held me fast.

“if that’s what ya want.” He slithered over to my ear, whispering huskily. I tensed up again as I was prodded. Slowly, carefully, one dildo parted taut muscle as I cried out from being stretched by just the tip.

“Sans! That’s my ass!” I screamed. I didn’t think he was actually going to do anything, but poke around like he was doing. He stopped.

“i know, does it hurt?” he asked, dropping the edge in his voice. I paused. It was still in my ass and any pain dulled and it left it feeling fuller and stretched.

“N-not too much.” I answered.

“then let me help make it better.” he rumbled behind me. The dildo was taken out of my ass with more care and tossed aside only to be poked again with Sans’s erect sex.

“Sans, don’t-”

“try it once fer me. ya don’t like it, i won’t do it, pay.” He was being sweet, because he really wanted this. I nodded, breaking down. His cock was really slick, and smaller than usual, even so, he went slowly, until I felt his hips pressing up against me, little grunts escaping my lips the entire time. “how’re ya feelin’?” Sans grunted.

“…it’s… in…” There was little pain. It felt more like stretching and it wasn’t unpleasant. It didn’t help I was uncertain about it. An experimental squeeze made him growl.

“i’m gonna move.” He warned me. With each thrust both of us let out some sound over ragged breathing. After only about ten, I felt the familiar heat flooding in an unfamiliar area.

“Did- did you just quick shot?” I asked as he groaned.

“yer lubed, at’s all i wanted.” He chuckled weakly, but darkly. He crawled over to the bed as his dick was replaced with another dildo and leaned back to watch. That’s when I realized it. I wasn’t complaining, in fact, I felt like I needed more of that. That stretching felt almost… good, my muscles not used to this kind of parting. But again, my thoughts were quickly taken away as the dildo plunged into my ass.

“Gah!” This one was bigger than what his magic shaped and he was a bit rougher handling it.

“sweetheart, you’re startin’ ta drip. this turnin’ ya on?” he laughed pointing out how wet my pussy was getting. “you want ‘nother one?” he asked. My hips bucked, rubbing against the other dildo which was quite soaked. “c’mon, tell me yes.” Sans purred.

“Y-yes!” I got out shakily.

“yes what?” he teased.

“Put the damn thing in my pussy!” I shouted at him as he laughed. I gasped as I was filled yet again. So full. My back arched from inconsistent thrusts. My mouth lulled open, but the real torture came when the dildos started vibrating. A split second of surprise snapped me enough to see Sans was too, but it was quickly used to his advantage as I squirmed. One dildo’s tip was thrust into the folds protecting my clit and two more at the already erect buds of my nipples. My trembling body gave up in less than a minute, all movements I made were uncontrolled as I cried out, resisting his forced pleasure. When they stopped vibrating, the coup de gras for him was muffling my screams with another dildo.



fuck, i was enjoying that look on pay’s face. she was panting, her eyes rolled back and mouth wide open and receptive to the throating i was giving her.

“You were not kidding about using those dilldos.” ned laughed as he opened the door.

“told ya.” i laughed. “you have two minutes, whatdaya want?” i was being generous. we both knew he was the one responsible for this. pay had snapped back up at his appearance, trying to yell around the dildo in her mouth at ned.

“So, I’m going to need that spectroscope for a few minutes, and in return I’ll trade ya the controls to the dilldo pit until your done with it.” ned told me outright. “And because you don’t have access to the fun features, I think it's a fair trade.” my smile grew sharper. controlling vibrating dildos seemed a lot more fun, but there was more than one fun feature?

“what kinda controls?” i asked.        

“Well, you see,” he took off his belt and tossed it to me. “First off, I don’t need a belt and second, the red button on the belt makes all the dilldos vibrate, and the the green button makes them all release a sticky fluid that cleans itself up when you turn the device off.” ned smirked. patience was still trying to yell at him, and i recognized the muffled sound of my name.

“here ya go. don’t abuse it.” it seemed like a fair trade for the spectroscope, so i pulled it out of my pocket and tossed it to ned, chuckling darkly about the new things i could control. he caught it and it looked like it was scanned with his eye lens. ned walked through the dildos, without any problem, absorbing them as he got closer to me just to hand the spectroscope back.

“Thank you, now I won’t accidently kill Undyne tomorrow.” right, i needed to teach him how to see HoPe. that would do for now though. “Wow, my sound proofing worked better than I thought it would. I could hardly hear you guys outside your own door. Also, this one right here...” he picked up a big purple dilldo. i scoffed a bit. of course he would pick up that one. “It’s about the size of a horse’s dick, try it on her and see if it fits.” the look in his eyes was evil and i liked the way he thought. pay even looked a little scared as ned tossed the dilldo at me and laughed as he shut the door. he opened the door again. this had better be good. “Oh, I almost forgot to give ya this, Sans.” he threw a small hundred page booklet. “That’s a booklet on all of a human female’s erogenous zones. Remember, my timeline is much faster than yours, so there’s probably well over hundreds of years of extra research into the subject. Also, Patience, twenty-six.”

“thanks, buddy.” i immediately started to read it and ned laughed as he closed the door again. as he left again, i had already gone through half the book, knowing about some of it already and having found and customized my approach before reading it. pay’s eyes watched me in this momentary calm. they widened when i tossed it on the bed, and took out the original dildo in her pussy, fast, making her jump and squeak.

“are ya ready fer this?” i asked. all i got was a muffled no, but i pretended i didn’t understand her. “good…” i purred. she started struggling as i steadied her with my own hands. i took the purple dildo ned recommended out of the air and carefully calculated how much i needed to jam into her. satisfied with my mental line, she cried out as i manually forced it in her. convinced i had the right spot, using magic i bent the tip inside of her towards her belly and turned on the vibrator button. i let her convulse and slowly lose all resistance towards pleasure. she was forgetting about our interruptor and that seemed to be key before i could really break her. my smile grew as her eyes glossed over. i was almost there.

“sweetheart…” i drawled. “...i’m gonna fuck you hard with this thing.” she shuddered as the tone of my voice changed. “now who treats who like glass? mmm?” she was too far gone by this point as i gruffly asked her. the dildo relentlessly disappearing and reappearing out of her soaked pussy. she was squeezing that thing, i could feel it on my hands… i’d have to do this without the pit sometime after the kids were born. or make my own. the door was opened yet again and i whipped a dildo at whoever the fuck decided it was a good time to interrupt us. i had been generous enough for ned and i didn’t give a fuck if boss got hit. he remembered very vividly what happened last time.     

“Hey!” ned dodged it and walked in, the dilldos phasing out of existance as he walked then back in after he passed. looking at pay still naked and now drooling on the floor, with the horse dildo halfway still inside of her, he whistled in a small sense of awe. “Damn you are relentless.”

“i’m kinda busy trying to teach ‘er not to tell me i treat ‘er like glass.” i growled at him.

“I think you got the message across. Now let’s give her a break so she can help our guest.” ned reached into his backpack and pulled out a test tube of liquid. guest? i hesitated. on one hand, no one would blame me much if i threw him over the balcony. on the other, pay would probably kill me if it was real important. nope. sex over ruled that.

“hey! i wasn’t finished! what the hell’s so important!?”     

Chapter Text

Earlier That Day…

As Ned walked down the stairs and back out of the front door, he had a huge grin on his face after what chaos he caused. Ned quickly headed down the road towards Hotland, because he smelled iron deposits earlier that way. When he reached the entrance to Hotland, he started to search around to locate the iron deposit, and spent about half an hour before he found some. Another hour later, Ned had mined the ore using his magic and strength. He clasped and rubbed his hands admiring his handy work.

“Hey! Give it back!” A shrill voice carried over the heat. As Ned looked around and found the source, he watched curiously.

“Or what?” the bunny guard’s voice was tinged with glee, the dragon grunted in amusement as they tossed a phone back and forth. The flaming girl seared bright blue as the bunny screeched from getting burnt, dropping the phone and the dragon swiped at her with his sword, dimming her a bit as she clutched her arm, the two now advancing on her.

“Get the fuck away.” She growled at them, stumbling back and falling.

“Yeah? You’re gonna wish you didn’t do that.” The rabbit said. 

“Now that's a good threat, Mr. Bonbon.” Ned said cheerily, as he appeared by her side. “Care to repeat that to me?” Ned growled. They flinched in response.

“...01, don’t do it…” the dragon said uselessly as 01 charged at Ned. The dragon ran after at his buddy, scooped him up and ran past Ned in response to his partner not listening to him.

“I thought you said not to visit Hotland.” Ned laughed, watching them run. “I thought you guys woulda tried ta do something to me!” Ned called at them. He turned back and walked over to the blue wisp-like lady. “Looks like I came just in time.” She shrank and tried to crawl away before he picked her up.

“Put me down!” she struggled in his grasp. “I could’ve handled those two idiots! Just leave me alone!” her fire went outward again at her emotion, smoldering his shirt.

“Sorry, that ain’t gonna happen. You're injured and it wouldn’t set well with me if I did nothing.” Ned responded as he walked towards the skeleton household. She froze for a moment.

“Don’t give me that bullshit! No one cares about anyone, besides close family.” she struggled a bit less, confused why only his shirt was burning.

“Eh, I don’t mind messing with the order of things.” Ned chuckled, not caring his shirt was burning. “In fact, I feel like it’s my favorite past time.”

“That’s what they all say, then someone’s never seen again, ugh!” she tries to push herself out of his grip again with her one good arm. Ned tightened his grip to insure that she wouldn’t fall.

“Look, tutz, if I wanted to kill you, I woulda already done it as well as the two guards that were harassing you.” He admitted.

“Yeah, but I don’t know where you’re taking me and it could very well be a spot to take advantage of me, so how do I know that? Huh?” She sassed, still struggling.

“Yeah, that's a fair point. I’m taking you to Snowdin, to the skeleton household.” Ned responded as they exited Hotland. “I’m not familiar to your anatomy, so I’m gonna need help to treat ya.”

“Really? No one knows how to heal anymore, why do you even have the idea they could help? One of them is only good for knocking heads and the other… well, I’ve had a firsthand account of his escapades.” She rolled her eyes.

“I guess you didn’t hear about the third resident.” Ned replied.

“Oh, Patience? Yeah, big chance that she knows much. What’s she going to do? Make bandages float in the air and set my arm, while they burn? Ooo, sooo much help.” she said sarcastically.

“If nothing else, it’s a safe place for you as you heal, as I try and figure out how to help ya, and Patience can help me with it.” Ned responded, grunting while readjusting her.

“You make me laugh. Ha. Ha, ha. If you’re really taking me there, put me down. My legs aren’t broken!” she spat.

“Promise you won’t run?” Ned asked calmly.

“Cross my soul.” she said monotonely.

“Your a being of fire right?” Ned asked as he set her gently on her feet, hanging onto her shoulder with his right hand. She gave him a hard stare.

“Really? And you just noticed?” she asked, her bright eyes giving him an half-lidded, unamused expression.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Ned sighed. “If you don’t mind, later, I’d like to have your help to smelt the iron I acquired earlier.” Ned responded equally unamused.

“Why should I help you? You grabbed at me without my permission.” she crossed her arms. Ned took his right hand off of her shoulder to rub his eyes. Seeing a way out, she bolted into the blue glow of Waterfall, hoping to lose him there. Ned caught up with ease and he scooped her up again and threw her over his shoulder. “Put me the fuck down!” she beat at his back with her good arm.

“Not until you're healed.” Ned responded, the threaten of a growl on his breath. “Besides, you're just going to bolt again if I do that.” he told her, continuing toward Snowdin. “And just because your a being of fire, doesn't mean I can’t smell when you're lying.”

“Ok, ok, fine, you win, you can use me as a hostage to get gold from my Dad, but I’m gonna warn ya, if you so much as slap my ass he’s going to fry you!” she warned, crossing her arms behind him.

“I’m guessing your Dad is Grillby, yeah, I already got a plan to get gold from him and it’s honest, I don’t need you for it, but you’re welcome to go once we have that arm wrapped up in something that won’t burn.” Ned replied, keeping his calm.

“Let me go…” she said half heartedly. “I’ll be fine, just like every other monster still alive.”

“I told you when I’d let you go and I plan on seeing it though, I don’t care for breaking my word.” Ned told her, picking up on the lack of fire behind her words. “What’s your name?”

“What should it matter to you? I’m probably dead anyway.” she said softly.

“My name is Ned Hunter, now that you know my name, what's yours?” Ned said in a less fluctuating tone.

“I’ll tell you if I see Patience, like you said.” she smirked in defiance.

“That's fair, but I think we’ll end up waiting for a little while. She and Sans are kinda busy at the moment.” Ned chuckled. “Wasn’t it funny how the guards ran away like that? Like little puppies that were scolded?” Ned asked as they exited Waterfall.

“Yeah, I wish I could run like that right now. We are seriously close to the bar, are you sure you’d want to risk me shouting for my Dad?” she asked him.

“All I have to do is explain to your Dad what I was doing. He has Patience working for him, and I already proved my word to him, you can shout to him if you like, but the only thing that will change is how many drinks those guards will get and how much clothing I’ll be wearing in the end, and you already burned off my shirt.” He shrugged.

“What-” she hesitated. “What happened to your back?” She didn’t even realize she was starting to trace the scars on it with her fingers until she saw them.

“Too many wars, too many lab experiments and too many people trying to stab me in the back.” Ned responded unphased.

“R-right…” she shuddered.

“With how my body is right now however, no physical force can hurt me.” Ned told her softly, realizing the hardened tone. “So about that iron… I’m going to forge a new set of armor for Undyne. Can I ask for your help?”

“Depends.” she said slowly.

“On?” Ned asked looking back at her and raising an eyebrow.

“.. if I say yes or no.” she dodged the question.

“Look, if you say yes, then it’s less time that I spend on building up a fire, and if you say no then what ever, you sit on a couch, probably with some tea waiting for Patience and Sans to finish up. Either way you’re more or less under my care until you are healed up, and after that, I can either walk you to Grillby’s bar or Hotland, whichever you prefer.” Ned responded as he made their way into Snowdin.

“...fine… may as well do something...” she muttered.

“Thank you.” Ned sighed.

“...Fuku…” she said after a few minutes of silence.

“That's your name I take it?” Ned paused. “It’s a nice name.”

“Yeah.” she said quickly, thankful she couldn’t make eye contact.

“I fucking hate the cold.” Ned mumbled as he walked in the front door.

“How the hell were you cold with me on your shoulder?” Fuku asked him, flaring a tiny bit.

“It’s how my body is now. It absorbs the heat and decides to do nothing about the cold.” Ned retorted as he gently placed Fuku on the couch. “I’ll be right back, please don’t run off as I try and get Patience.” Ned asked as he started up the stairs, but Papyrus opened his door at the sound of someone coming in.


“Ugh… Papyrus, if I had kidnapped her, she’d be bound up and threatened with water, and I wouldn’t be dumb enough to bring her into your house, dumbass.” Ned countered, unamused by what Papyrus said. “Is Patience still in her room?”

“I WASN’T AWARE ANYONE WAS HERE.” Papyrus narrowed his eyes.

“Well, I know I did my job right.” Ned mumbled. “Papyrus, have you seen what I have done to Aaron in the last few days? Surely you have talked with Undyne about it.”


“Yeah, and you are about as pathetic to me as Aaron is to you, so be good and don’t mess with our guest, ok?” Ned said in a warm, light manor.

“I WOULDN’T DREAM OF GETTING DUST ON MY CARPET.” Papyrus told him sincerely.

“Yet you tried to stab me several times.” Ned retorted quietly as he slipped past him and knocked on Sans’s door. “Sans, you still in there? I can almost make out the sounds of the vibrating dildo pit.” A dildo was whipped at Ned as he opened the door. “Hey!”



He had stopped. That’s all I could figure out by the lack of movement. My nerve endings were shot in the flood of dopamine or whatever the magical substitute of dopamine was. My body twitched occasionally in the relief of this short rest. No doubt he would start again soon… what had stopped him? I could barely hear because my heartbeat roared in my ears, and they felt like they were filled with cotton. So I focused hard on the low sound of voices.  

“Well, I’m giving her a second wind so you can pound the lesson into her again. Also our guest, Fuku, was attacked by the royal guards in Hotland. The dragon hit her in the arm with his sword.” Something bitter and runny was poured into my mouth and I struggled to spit it out, but my mouth was pushed shut and I had no choice but to swallow.

“ah, fuck, she won’t say no to healing ‘er. or anyone for that matter. when will she-”

That very moment everything came flooding back as heat coursed through my system. He did this.

“NED!” I screamed and scrambled up, going for his throat.

“Right about now.” Ned struggled to speak with my hands around his cold neck.

“whoa there, sweetheart.” I could hear Sans get up behind me and he tried to pry me off Ned.

“Sans, stay out of this.” I growled. “You’re next.” He flinched, but continued pulling on me, coming closer.

“am i?” he purred in my ear. Ned was starting to turn purple from the lack of oxygen. “he ain’t worth yer time, pay, not when yer little friend downstairs needs healin’.” Friend? Oh. My grip loosened when I saw Fuku in the doorway, where her cheeks would’ve been was a darker stain of blue. Feeling me slowly let go, Ned pried himself away from me and he fell forward on to the floor, gasping for air.

“She was… attacked by dragon… in Hotland… woo… asphyxiation high feels weird.” He gasped as he started to get air back into his system.

“Let me get dressed and I’ll see what I can do.” I told Fuku, trying to cover myself a little bit. I threw Ned out of Sans’s room, into the hall and slamed the door behind him, missing Fuku. The knob, however glowed in red. “Sans!” I hissed.

“shh… they ain’t gonna come in.” The door cracked open and their voices bled through.

“…Prank that was going great until I stopped Sans.” Ned explained to Fuku, still wheezing a bit.

“I’ve never heard her yell like that. What did you do, besides sick her own boyfriend on her?” Fuku asked.

“Kinda was a team effort between Sans and I, mostly Sans. I just managed to become a venting ground for her.” Ned replied as we heard shuffling I assumed was him getting up. “That was the first time she tried to strangle me. Last time, she just threw me against the wall, and the time before that she threw me into a magma pit by the Core.”

“She’s gonna kill you one of these days.” Fuku sounded like she thought he was crazy.

“No, she won’t.” Ned replied confidently, the stairs creaking as we heard them move away.

“What makes you so sure? She has at least three boss monsters wrapped around her fingers, not even taking in account she is a boss monster herself.” The familiar sound of the couch being sat on faintly was heard as I quickly pulled on some clothes.

“Which three boss monsters? Undyne, I’ve been training her. Sans, he’s wrapped around my little finger at this point. Papyrus, he’s easy to take care of. Your Dad, I’m working on a deal with him. Mettaton, I already can rip off his arms, and I sincerely doubt you’d go after me, so let’s see, that’s six boss monsters.” Ned laughed.

“How did you figure out that I’m a boss monster?” she asked Ned. 

“Simple, your Grillby’s daughter and I get this weird feeling whenever I am around a boss monster.” Ned responded playfully as I emerged from Sans’s room.

“Ok, I’m going to kill you, Ned, and what happened, Fuku?” I asked, now clothed and limping down the stairs. Sans really did a number to me.

“You can try it if you like, but there is a reason I eat my food with silver.” Ned chuckled. I shot him a look and Fuku shows me her sliced arm, but not without flinching from my death glare.

“Alright, don’t tell anyone I can do this or I’ll have to knock heads again. You know how that works.” I sighed, my hand lighting up in green.

“Can’t do much more than hold up burning bandages, ay?” Ned taunted Fuku.

“Shut up, hothead, how was I supposed to know Patience was a healer?” Fuku shot at him.

“Hothead? Look who’s talking, firetop!” Ned insulted back while I finished healing Fuku’s arm.

“What is this, heat of the moment romance?” Sans laughed, coming down the stairs. Both Fuku and Ned flipped him off.  

“Ok, I blow things up, you spit fire, who’s going to get to him first?” Ned asked Fuku, challenging her. There was this glint in Ned’s eyes something that said he was going to do something devious. No. He was not going to take this one and there was only one way to stop him. Beat him to it.

“I will.” I responded, teleporting behind Sans and he flinched as I grabbed his spine, running my hands up the inside of his ribcage. His bones start to rattle as I got closer and closer his favorite spot behind his soul.

“Looks like she knows how to rattle your ribcage.” Ned laughed.

“Sh-sh-shut up! F-f-fuck!” he grunted, his tongue lulling out of his mouth. I reached the particular vertebrae and stroked it gently, smiling and ready to let go. He fell to the floor, still rattling. “Ssssssshhhhhittt…” Me, Ned and Fuku all laughed at his expression of pure ecstasy and his drooping eyelids.

“Y’know I warned you about this.” Ned said in a told you so like manner. All the sudden. I felt my legs wobble and I crashed on top of Sans.

“Ned, what the fuck did you do to me?!” I yelled down the stairs at him.

“Actually, this one wasn’t my fault. I gave you a drug to help regain mobility of your body, but clearly, it wore off and your body said fuck you.” Ned taunted. “You probably shoulda walked a little more to get more feeling in your legs.” Ned told me in a similar voice.

“Fuck you!” I snarled.

“Alright, well, I guess I can’t leave you guys like that. I’ll be right back.” Ned said in his singsongy voice, as he walked into the kitchen, coming back with a pencil and paper.

“Um, do I even wanna know?” Fuku asked awkwardly.

“Ned! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” I yelled at him.

“I’m just gonna leave Sans a little note.” He said innocently as he came up the stairs. He picked up me first, then Sans and threw us over his shoulders, carrying us to Sans’s room. He set us gently on our backs on the bed. “You know, this one was unintentional, but we’ll call it twenty five.” he told me, as he put the note he wrote on my stomach under my breasts, so I couldn’t read it. Ned went under Sans’s bed to rummage around and pulled out what looked like a sword hilt. “This was the dildo pit generator.” He grinned as he showed it off to me. He eyed the control belt, then took that as well. “When he wakes up, tell him I said to go easy on you.” he smirked as he walked  back out of the room.

“He’s not going to go easy on me and you know it!” I yelled at him before he shut the door behind him. It creaked open again for some reason, but he didn’t come back to fix it. The knob looked iced over. Did Ned do that?

“Thank god I made that room soundproof inside and out.” he muttered as the stairs felt some action again.. “Hey, Fuku, you still wanna help me out with smelting? You’re free to go, I’ll walk ya to Grillby’s if you want.”

“Uh… well, I’m still here, aren’t I?” Fuku replied, sounding completely confused about everything.

“If you have any questions, ask now. Like I said, I like busting the social norms.” Ned told her casually.

“How are you related to Patience? She does the same exact thing and people are weirded out by it.” Wow. I guess we really looked and acted enough alike for people to not really question why Ned was here, only our relations.

“Distantly related, I think. Not all mutates are related, but we are still family, because we look human.” If I could’ve smacked my forehead I would’ve. I told him not to mention humans and this was pushing it.

“How come we haven’t seen many mutates around?” Fuku sounded really suspicious of him right now.

“I couldn’t tell ya. We’re kinda rare, kinda powerful on the boss monster level, sorta deal.”  Ned replied all too casually.

“So you’re a boss monster too?” Fuku asked.

“No, I’m barely average, but I do have the strength, speed, defense and knowledge that puts me above a boss monster.” Way to brag. He really was an idiot.

“Sans!” I hissed.

“… fuckin’ socks…” he mumbled in his sleep, then started snoring.

“So, you trained for the capabilities of a boss monster.” Fuku continued.

“I guess you could say that. You’ve seen the scars, they tell the story better.” Ned sighed.

“So why didn’t you burn? Patience warns me when I get too hot.” Fuku asked.

“Mutates have different abilities. When your ability is more powerful than normal, your magic becomes weaker, because you don’t need it. My skin can absorb all forms of energy, and disperse it however I want, in whatever form of energy I want it to be. However, Patience, doesn’t have an ability like mine, so her magic compensates, making her boss monster level. Does that make sense?” Ned questioned.

“Yeah, I mean, usually having a defense like that and still capable of that kind of magic, either at least one of your parents is a boss monster or you really worked on just getting that.” Fuku explained, working it out.

“I don’t remember my parents. They died when I was somewhere between ten and fifteen. Another warband took them out before I could get back home.” Ned’s voice was tinged with sadness.

“Sans! He’s talking about humans and his actual life!” I hissed at him again. This time he just turned over. “We have got to talk about you getting up at night, because I am not doing that all the fucking time.” I sighed.

“Warband? Does that mean humans killed your parents? How old are you?” Fuku asked in a tiny voice.

“Well, my body has aged to about twenty-four in human terms.” Jesus fucking Christ! Stop it with this! You wouldn’t have to answer quite literally if you hadn’t mentioned humans!  

“So what, do you actually age slower than normal monsters?” Fuku asked, really confused.

“I honestly don’t know. So many faces flashing in and out of existence in front of my eyes...” Ned sounded tired and sad, his voice heavy with regret. “I wonder what the kids I’m raising would think about me, if they knew the truth.”

“You have kids?!” I could just picture Fuku jumping back. Her mindset had to be that he was one of those who abandoned his offspring.

“Kinda, they were orphans, they needed to be saved from a madman… I wanted kids…”

“But your partner didn’t?” Was that relief in her voice? I’d have to ask her about her little talk with him when I started my shift with her.

“My partner died…” Ned trailed off. It clicked. It was probably that Omega girl he was talking to through the flowers. While Destiny went back over to them, she had quickly explained she only wanted him to live and be happy, and to kick his ass every now and then.

“Oh…” Fuku didn’t know how to react to that.

“I killed her twice…” I could hear the wavering in his voice. He really did care about her. The pining pulses of his soul reached beyond up here.

“Don’t crack! Please! I didn’t mean to make you tell me everything, I’m usually stopped before this. I usually stop when I get asked this stuff…” Fuku said quickly.

“It’s fine. It gets easier as time goes by and I talk about it.” Ned sighed.

“Y’know that’s what Dad says, but he’s not ok.” Fuku told him. That was right. I had never heard of, nor did either Grillby or Fuku ever mention her mother.

“Wounds like that never heal properly, but not much you can do about it. I’ve seen wounds like this on other people. They heal when they find someone.” Ned said gently.

“Dad always says he’s too old to look for someone, even though I tell him all the time he’s not and that I’m ok with it. Come to think of it though, he’s not nice to just about everyone.” Fuku said.

“Well, I guess that's enough with personal questions for today, and I still have armor to forge and china to paint.” Ned paused. “You’re welcome to help me with the china as well if you want.”

“Ok.” she responded quietly.

“Alright follow me.” I heard then get up and leave the house. I sighed. Sans was sawing wood still and it quickly become muffled as he rolled over until his face dug into a pillow.

“What am I gonna do with you?” I tisked. Considering that he might do this when our children were in danger sent my stomach down in twinges of fear. Would he leave them defenseless if only for sleep or sex?

His arm patting the bed and reaching for something snapped me out of my thoughts and it only stopped when he grabbed my arm, dragging it under him in an unbreakable embrace which immediately stopped his snoring as if my arm was the only thing that could pacify the beast. Great. I was going to get pins and needles from this. I rolled my eyes and chuckled, unable to contain myself about how he looked and grabbed my arm as if answering my thoughts.

The familiar red glow of bonding tendrils curled around my arm, finding my soul and banishing all leftover doubt I felt. He was tenaciously Determined to protect all the souls he was connected to with a deeper instinctual level coming into play. He frowned and muttered in his sleep again, nestling closer to me, my arm still in his iron grip. I yawned and closed my droopy eyes. Maybe a nap would help. His sleep while bonded was contagious.  

Chapter Text

Ned led Fuku outside and into the basement.

“Sorry about the shottyness of the forge, I’ve only worked on it for a few hours.” he said as he showed her to the room with an anvil and a forge.

“Well, I don’t really know too much about forges. Dad never really wanted me to be like him, but if it’s fire and heat you need, I can help with that.” Fuku said brightly.

“That’s exactly what I need.” Ned smiled. “I lose so much time getting everything started up.” he laughed. “Ok, here's what I need ya to do, see that hole under the forge? I need you to light it with your hottest flames, so I can start to melt the iron and remove the impurities from it.” He directed Fuku as he applied two flimsy objects to his chest. Then he loaded up the smelter with the iron he had collected earlier.

“Seems simple enough.” she squatted down and started sending white flames down the hole.

“That's it, nice and steady. Pace yourself so ya don’t get tired out.” Ned encouraged her, as the iron already started to melt.

“Don’t worry, my limit is pretty far away. Patience helped me with focus and I improved from there.” Fuku said easily. The iron was now completely melted as Ned started to add different minerals to it.

“Now lets purify this stuff.” Ned said to himself as he stuck his arm into the molten metal and started swirling it around, mixing it. The weird objects on his chest start to glow and Ned began to resonate his arm to the iron’s inherent frequency. Fuku watched on curiously as he smiled at her. “Don’t do this ever, not without my ability.” he laughed.

“You’re talking to fire.” Fuku pointed out.

“I don’t care if you're a fusion reactor, I’m going to tell ya the same thing.” Ned laughed as he pulled his arm out, now covered in impure molten iron. The iron cooled rapidly around his arm. “Want an iron arm statue?” he offered Fuku.

“Dad has enough of those. Like I said, not the nicest guy and he’d hate it if I got one.” Fuku said truthfully.

“Alright then.” Ned grunted, making a fist to shatter the iron into pieces. “I’ll clean that up later.” He said quickly as he pulled out some molds. “Now to add extra ingredients and then dump the enhanced iron into these… Now normally, something like that would take weeks to do, but with me, it would only take hours because of what I can do.” Ned smiled. “And with your help what would take me hours only took several minutes. Thanks.” he thanked her as he poured the enhanced iron into the molds. “Now we just let them cool.” He placed his hands over the molds. “This is another process that I can safely speed up.” He told her with a chuckle as the heat energy flowed from the molds into his hands. “Also, sorry about earlier. I know I can be scary, but I meant no harm to you.” he apologized.

 “You aren’t really that scary looking, to be honest, but I was told appearances mean nothing. I’d never figure out Sans is dangerous, except for the fact that my Dad knows. Other than that, he’s just… small for a boss monster. You wouldn’t even guess he is one.” Fuku explained with a shrug.

“Sans is probably one of the only monsters around here that can actually kill me.” Ned took on a more serious tone. “What that monster lacks in strength, he more than makes up for in speed and magic. It’s good thing I’m on his good side.”

“I’ve noticed. You can’t walk around here without noticing that. It’s not normal.” Fuku said.

“Yeah, normal isn’t really a thing down here.” Ned looked down at the molds. “And the armor is done cooling.” He told her as he started to remove the now shiny sleek new armor from the molds. “Now for the leather work… Fuck, looks like I need to figure out how to get leather or a leather alternative around here.” He looked annoyed. “Think the shopkeeper has any?” he asked Fuku.

“I’m sure she has something.” Fuku tells him. “She usually does.”

“Alright, I’ll walk ya to your Dad’s bar before I go and pick up the stuff I need.” He told her as he placed the armor to the side of the walled off part of the basement on a workbench. “Sound good?”

“Yeah. Thank you.” Fuku said quietly. The short walk to the bar was silent between the two of them. As they walked in, Fuku’s eyes got big and Ned instantly zeroed in on the royal guards from Hotland, sitting at the bar. Grillby immediately noticed his daughter’s discomfort and put down the glass he was cleaning.

“Hey, Mr. Dragon, Mr. Bon-bon, do anything fun recently?” Ned smiled ear to ear, calling out to them with an evil intent. Fuku edged away toward the safety of the kitchen as her father motioned her to, watching Ned’s exchange with the guards intensely. The guards stiffened at Ned’s voice and a shadowy aura emanated from him, concealing his true location. “Well?” he questioned with glee.

“I’m gonna kill that guy.” the bunny told the dragon. The dragon grunted disapprovingly.

“Oh, wouldn’t that be a feat? Now, back to the fun things you guys did in Hotland. Wanna tell Grillby?” Ned taunted, his voice getting closer to the guards. The bunny quickly tries to hide a hand-shaped burn from Grillby’s sight as they both started to sweat.

“...get out.” Grillby narrowed his eyes.

“Oh no, Mr. Grillby, I think you’ll really want to hear what they have to say.” The delight spilling out of his mouth. “After all, they are part of the reason why I’m down to no shirts.” The guards shivered as they felt Ned’s breath going down their backs. “Isn’t that right, boys?” The question dropped into a deep, low, growl of a whisper. They flinched. “By the way, it’s too late for you to run.” The playful tone returning to his voice. “So you might as well come clean.” he laughed as he picked up both guards and brought them over to Grillby. His flames grew brighter and hotter in anger, crackling loudly as the guards struggled in Ned’s grip. “Please don’t kill them, these two are my favorite playthings.” He smirked. “Well, boys? Have anything to say to Mr. Grillby?”

“N-no.” the bunny gulped and the dragon furiously shook his head.

“If that’s the case, I can’t save you from what will happen next.” Ned purred in their ears sadistically. Grillby slowly started rolling up his sleeves. “Their punishment is yours Mr. Grillby.”

“...with pleasure.” he grinned widely. Ned dropped the guards in front of Grillby and blocked their only path out, smiling, his shadow aura fading.

“...we’re fucked, 01.” the dragon told the bunny.

“...have a drink, on me.” Grillby poured them a strange concoction and set it on fire.

“Oooo, I haven’t served that for quite some time.” Ned cooed. “Is this what I think this is? Better drink up boys, Grillby’s feeling merciful today.” he laughed. They stare at the flames, shaking. “Drink up before he changes his mind.” He sang. “Hey, Grillby wanna pour me one to prove that this ain’t lethal?”

“...they know. Are you sure?” he asked, curiously.

“Yeah, its been years since I’ve had one last.” Ned said genuinely, as he walked back up to the bar behind the terrified guards.

“...drink it.” Grillby growled at them as he poured another for Ned, then lit it on fire as well.

“Bottoms up.” Ned said with an amused look as he downed his drink, then put the glass back on the bar. “Woo! Exactly how I remember it!” he exclaimed happily. “The burning as it goes down, best damn thing to prove that you’re alive.” he laughed again, then burped into the inside of his elbow. “I think I’ll come around more often just for that.” he sighed contently. Grillby looked a bit taken aback, but said nothing to Ned, focusing on the guards, who had decided to take up his offer for a free drink nervously. Unsurprisingly, the bunny burned his lips and he whimpered as they both downed the drinks. Both of them fell to the floor, cursing and clutching their throats.

“Is that all you guys got? Come on, I drank the same thing and I’m probably gonna ask for another.” Ned laughed as he taunted the two guards.

“...get out of my sight.” Grillby told them as he set fire to their asses and they ran, screaming, out of the bar.

“Back home, that’s called the Shot of Pain, usually drank in competitions or punishment, what's it called here?” Ned stated still laughing at the sight of bunny and dragon running around with their hindquarters on fire.

“...” Grillby told him the name was Fire’s Kiss and that it only warms him up.

“I think I’ll remember that name, rolls off the tongue and is much more graceful than Shot of Pain.” Ned reached into his backpack and pulled out some gold. “So, I have also come to try the Orange Wind if you have any ready, how much will that be and the Fire’s Kiss?” Grillby pointed to the menu board while pouring a glass of Orange Wind for Ned.

“...” Grillby told him it was fifty G.

“Damn, you brewed this stuff better than me. Nice job.” Ned told him, slightly surprised. “That’s well worth the fifty G.” he finished his glass and set it on the counter. “Do you mind if I work off the debt later tonight or do you want the money right now? Patience will be incapacitated for the rest of the night, thanks to Sans and I, being two different parts of the reason, and I need the gold I have for some leather.”

“...” Grillby nodded, telling Ned he could work the night if Patience was out, waving off the gold Ned had reached for.

“Alright, and she comes in at what time?” Ned inquired.

“About five is when the sentries start coming in so, then.” Fuku piped up.

“I’ll be in at around 4:50, with a shirt.” Ned assured him.

“...something nice.” Grillby confirmed.

“I’ll see what I can do, something distracting?” Ned asked. Grillby nodded again, going back to cleaning his glass. “I might need some help with that.” Ned rubbed his chin.

“With getting a shirt?” Fuku asked.

“No, with designing one, not sure what would be distracting to customers around here and still appropriate.” Ned said thoughtfully, still stroking his chin.

“I-I could help you.” Fuku looked down, and her cheeks flushed darker. Grillby looked at his daughter with a curious glance, crackling in a different language, telling her they’d talk later.  

“Well, since you offered I guess I couldn’t refuse.” Ned smiled with a slight curiosity. He took off his eye lens and fiddled with it. “Alright, Fuku put this on and just think about the shirt that would fit what your Dad will require.” Ned told her as he held the eye lens out for her to take. “Careful not to get it too hot.”

“It should be alright. I’m not that hot.” she gave Ned a small smile as she took the eye lens and put it on, amazed at what she saw through it. Grillby watched as the eye lens changed shape on Fuku’s head to look like a pair of glasses similar to his. “How-? What is this thing?” she asked.

“Calm down, it’s called an eye lens and I made it, now look at me and focus on the shirt, see how it’s taking form?” Ned talked Fuku through the process as the eye lens did what it was programmed to do.

“Yeah.” she turned to look at Ned. “Wow, this is handy. I dunno why you’d need gold with this.” Fuku told him.

“The eye lens is just a tool that helps me design stuff and helps me in combat by locating armaments, threats and an enemy’s weakness, but that's all it does, I gotta actually make whatever it designed.” Ned explained.

“...still very useful.” Grillby said thoughtfully, crossing his arms.

“Now you see why I have it on all the time.” Ned chuckled addressing Grillby. “Having fun with the eye lens Fuku?” Ned said still chuckling.

“Oh, sorry, I guess this isn’t really a toy.” she said shyly, handing it back to Ned.

“Don’t worry about that, I use it for play all the time.” Ned laughed as he took it back. “Alright, now I gotta set a timer, just for added insurance.” Ned mumbled to himself. “Hey, Grillby ya got a phone that you can call me with?” He nodded. Ned tinkered with his eye lens again. “The cool thing with this is that I can use it as a phone, regardless of what service it needs.” Ned took out a pad and paper, from his backpack, and he wrote down a number, then handed it to Grillby. “Call whenever ya need someone to fill in?”

“...” He confirmed.

“See you later, Ned?” Fuku asked.

“I’ll be back around 4:50.” Ned nodded.

“See ya then.” she said shyly as Ned walked out of the door to the shop. He entered into an argument between the shopkeeper and another bunny monster.

“Allo, allo, allo, what’s all this then.” Ned inquired.

“Stay out of this. It’s family related.” the shopkeeper told Ned, not even looking over.

“Oh, some new blood in town. I’m the innkeeper. Care to work next door? I offer board and room, one hot meal a day in return for certain services and gold. You won’t find a deal like that anywhere else.” The innkeeper fluttered her eyelashes and drew closer to Ned. He backed away in disgust.

“Don’t try to seduce my customers, Ruby!” the shopkeeper yelled at her.

“I’d rather not go near that multi-roomed, ramshackled, cum dump, of what you call an Inn.” Ned spontaneously said without thinking. “If it wasn’t for my need to buy something in the shop, I wouldn’t be here right now. I mean, come on, I can smell the place when I’m in Waterfall, and it isn’t pleasant for me.” The innkeeper reeled back from him at the insult and the shopkeeper snickered.

“I’ll have you know, it one of the most decent establishments here!” her tone of voice changed to a warning.

“Way to set the standards extremely low then.” Ned responded, not caring about Ruby’s warning tone. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have business with the shopkeeper.”

“Goodbye, Ruby.” the shopkeeper waved to her sister sarcastically as she pouted and left.

“I’m not going to apologize for that, I meant every word I said. That place just reeks havoc on my nose.” He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“Good.” the shopkeeper said. “Maybe she’ll get off her lazy ass and actually start cleaning.”

“Well, anyways, I need some leather straps and such you got any of that sort?” Ned asked.

“Yeah, I’ve got that. Useful if you know what you’re doing.” She smiled, showing Ned to a box of odds and ends of leather. He went through it, taking out what he needed.

“How much?” he asked as he showed her when he had.

“On the house. No one’s told my sister the truth about her ‘establishment’ as truthful as you.” she snickered again.

“Well, in that case, you have any shirts like this?” Ned reached for his eye lens and showed the shopkeeper the shirt via hologram.

“Yes, in the back, over there.” the shopkeeper directed Ned.  

“How much?” Ned picked out a shirt that fit him and what the eye lens showed.

“Sixty G.” she answered and he rummaged around his backpack for the gold.

“That should do it.” Ned handed it over.

“Thank you, and have a nice day.” the shopkeeper said pleasantly as he left. Ned waved goodbye and he walked back home to create the armor. Though, first, he went into the house to check up on Patience and Sans.

“Everything ok in here?” Ned chuckled as he entered Sans’s room.

“There’s a door in between this room and the hall fer a reason.” Sans growled.

“Yeah, and I also soundproofed your room so I couldn’t tell if you were still incapacitated by what Patience did to ya.” Ned retorted walking into Sans plowing Patience like a dog. “Is she still…”

“Why don’t get out and stop staring at us like it’s a show?!” Patience yelled at Ned.

“What, are you embarrassed?” Sans laughed darkly at her red face.

“I was going to ask if you can move and if ya read my note, but hey what do I know? I’m only a certified doctor, checking up on the well being of two incapacitated patients.” Ned told them sarcastically at the door. “Sans make sure you slam the back door with a horse as well as the front.”

“Way ahead of ya.” Sans smirked.

“Ned, I’m going to kill-” Patience yelled at Ned as he slammed the door. He then went back down into the basement and busied himself with the armor work and painting china, only stopping to look at the time and change, before leaving for Grillby’s.

“I’m guessing Patience didn’t show up?” Ned asked Grillby as he was about to call Ned in. He shook his head. “Alright, where do ya want me? Also, don’t worry about the music thing, I got that covered.” Ned told him as he walked over to the jukebox, took something off his eye lens and placed it on the music box. “Got a request?” Ned smirked.

“ free song for you to choose. Wait until there are more guests.” Grillby instructed.

“Alright, but it won’t be your normal stuff considering it’s coming from my eye lens and a frequency hijacker.” Ned responded.

“...we’ll see how you stack up.” Grillby told him skeptically.

“I look forward to the challenge, also it isn’t me singing. I can sing, but I don’t really care for it.” Ned shrugged.

“...” Grillby told Ned he’s there to mainly monitor how drunk patrons got and to serve the tables with the ordered food and drink.

“Ok, so your normal stuff. I built and worked a bar before. Family asked me to so she could have a hobby. She’s the one that makes that powerful Orange Wind.” Ned’s ear twitched. “Here they come, I think I’ll start them off on Radioactive.”

For the rest of the night, Ned maintained the bar as best he could. The patrons listened to him when he kicked them out and the jukebox played song after song after song, each one different from the norm, but still welcomed. As closing time rolled around without incident, Ned started chatting with Grillby.

“I think tonight was a successful night.” His eyes were still watching the last monster, ensuring that he respected the place. “What’s your take on it?” Ned asked Grillby as he leaned on the bar.

“...” Grillby told Ned it was a normal night, due to it being a small town.

“That's good, what about the music, was that to your liking?” the last person hit their limit and Ned started to walk over to him. “Sir, it’s time for you to go, thank you for your patronage and come again soon.” The bird monster hiccupped and dragged himself up, waving Ned off him as he decided to leave without trouble and stumbled to the door

“...” Grillby said the customers didn’t seem to mind the change in pace as Ned took his frequency jacker from the jukebox.

“Good, its always good to have a change from time to time.” Ned responded gratefully for the feedback. “So, now that everybody's gone, what was up with your daughter? She kinda seemed off..” Ned asked Grillby.

“... don’t mind Fuku. She’s young. I hope Patience will be back soon.” He brushed off Ned’s question.

“Assuming Sans will let her go, she will be back tomorrow.” Ned responded. “Looks like Orange Wind was a mild success, should we wait a week before we talk about a deal?”

“...” Grillby sighed and said he would see how successful it was by then.

“Well, all I really want is about a two percent royalty that would translate into credit for this establishment, not too steep, just enough so I can get by, hell, I might not even be around long enough to use most of it.” Ned shrugged.

“...” Grillby said it would go to the next of kin if they so appeared.

“That's nice and all, but I don’t have any next of kin, so in reality, it’s just me ya gotta worry about and I’m only interested in keeping myself alive at this point.”

“…?” Grillby asked about Patience.

““I mean, I guess, but I’m not sure if we are actually related or not.” Ned shrugged. Grillby nodded in an understanding manner. “So yeah, I worked it out so that you’d get a substantial profit from this and I get what I want.”

“Dad, can you help me put away some of the supplies?” Fuku asked, noticing the bar was empty. “Oh! You’re still here, Ned?” she asked.

“It would appear so.” Ned responded. “Just discussing business before I left.”

“Ok, then-”

“...I’ll be back there soon.” Grillby’s tone turned to scolding, warning her to leave.

“What was that about?” Ned asked Fuku.

“...I should leave.” she looked away and went back into the kitchen. Shortly after, a blue glow erupted from the small window and Grillby hurried over towards the door. Ned rushed in after him, following him into the kitchen.  A grease fire was the source of the light and the first thing Ned did was reach for his belt but realized it wasn’t there, so he then rolled up his sleeves and stuck his hand and arm straight into the fire, absorbing it.

“What happened in here?” Ned inquired.

“I-I wasn’t paying attention again… or focusing.” Fuku explained while Grillby looked on, slightly surprised Ned stuck his hand in the fire.

“Do you know how to put out grease fires, Fuku?” he asked.

“Well, if it happens, I just absorb it.” she looked down. “But… this time… I don’t know what happened.” she told both her father and Ned.

“Oh, well, it’s all in the past now.” Ned laughed and he started going towards the door to leave. Grillby stopped Ned, turned him around and wordlessly sets a pouch of gold him his hands.

“That works for me, thank you.” Ned looked at the gold. “So I take it I’m on reserve from now on?” he offered.

“...for now.” Grillby said.

“See ya when ya need me.” Ned smiled and waved as he left. When he got home again, he went into the kitchen, pulled out the pad and pen again and wrote another note. He also counted out 100G and then went upstairs and he stabbed the sack onto Patience and Sans’s door with a newly forged knife, pinning the note there as well. “Sleep well tutz.” Ned chuckled knowing that she wouldn’t. Ned then went back downstairs and fell asleep on the couch.

Chapter Text

Cyan Soul-Heyo guys! I'm so sorry to do this, but I have to put this work on hiatus. Things have been going on lately and with the holidays and my finals coming up it's been kinda stressful. Not to mention my personal projects... (see Cyan Soul's Stitching Dump.) Me and that Asshole Friend Of Mine are working together on this, because, yes, we do go to school together and our ideas are really starting to pile up so much it's becoming annoying...
Asshole Friend- I don't appreciate that...
Cyan Soul- Transfering to another college is no easy task, ya butt hole!
Asshole Friend- But... you'll be so far... :(
Cyan Soul- It's only two hours away, I'll visit, ya big idiot
Asshole Friend- Well... if nothing else, we can be pen pals...
Cyan Soul- -_- You better not send me glitter dicks.
Asshole Friend- Never crossed my mind... until now *evil smile*
Cyan Soul- Well, if I'm gonna dicked, at least send me gummies: Dicksbymail
Asshole Friend- So... is that an invite to a...
Cyan Soul- *turns beet red* Don't you DARE finish that sentence!
Asshole Friend- invite to your Netflix account. Jesus, where did you think I was going with that?
Cyan Soul- *pouts and crosses arms* Somewhere I didn't want to go.
Asshole Friend- Yet your mind went there... so should I take that as a Freudian slip?
Cyan Soul- Ugh! That question is a trap and you know it! Fuck off and help me with figuring our shit out in real life!
Asshole Friend- By the way... you look good in that shade of red.
Cyan Soul- *hides face, but also looks like is tearing it off at the same time* STOP FLIRTING WITH ME YA PERV!
Asshole Friend- I'm the perv? You're the one who went there. Oh well, I should help you pack...
Cyan Soul- Thank y-
Asshole Friend- Also just a quick question... who's the lacy thong and matching bra for? Last time I checked, you're not with anyone. *stares judgingly*
Cyan Soul- Um, no one. Nope. No- Wait. WHY ARE YOU IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER?!?
Asshole Friend- It was laying out on your bed?
Cyan Soul- Um... uh... *turns redder* GET OUT OF MY ROOM! ...sorry about that guys... see? My life is complex with that idiot around... Once more to reiterate, this hiatus is NOT permanent-
Asshole Friend- Well... I guess I'll just... pack you a few snacks.
Cyan Soul- *facepalms and sighs* I wasn't accepted yet, but whatever. Again, super sorry about the hiatus and it will not last forever.