Harry James Potter had just turned 17. Finally, he had become an adult in the eyes of the Magical World. At 12:00AM Harry gathered his trunk, Hedwig’s cage, and the few items he had stored under the loose floorboard in “his” room, and let Hedwig fly out the front door, since his window was once again barred. Once everything was gathered and Hedwig was off into the night he cast his first ever legal spell outside of Hogwarts, Recalcitro¹. With this spell his Uncle Vernon and Cousin Dudley were forever denied tasting the food they so loved to eat and his Aunt Petunia was denied ever feeling clean again. Then he cast Obsaepio² preventing the three of them from speaking of the curses that were now upon them. With this he bid his relatives a good night and farewell and disapparated to where Remus Lupin now resided, number 12 Grimmauld Place.
“Harry, Haaarrryyy!” Harry startled and looked around the dreary kitchen of number 12 Grimmauld Place.
“Wha? Oh, sorry Remy, I was just remembering my last night at the Dursleys’.”
“Remind me, why did you curse your relatives, and why shouldn’t I tell Dumbledore?”
With a put upon sigh and a slight shake of his now shaggy hair, Harry once again explained how the Dursleys tormented him leaving out the major incidents and then moving on to how Dumbledore wouldn’t understand and would reverse the curses. Remus just gave him a look and turned back to the sandwiches he was putting together. He knew his pup wasn’t telling him everything but he could wait until Harry was ready. Before taking a bite of his turkey sandwich Harry looked up at Remus, who now sat across from Harry, and said with some humor,
“You know I could cook for us every once and awhile so that we’re not stuck eating sandwiches and cereal. I mean sandwiches are good and all but eating only that and cereal for the past week with only the occasional hot meal is driving me insane. Even muggles at least have simple microwavable meals. Ugg.”
Remus who had started to eat half way through Harry’s rant looked up and swallowed his current bite before to answering. “Harry, you said your relatives forced you to cook for them, so while you’re here I don’t want you to have to do anything you don’t want to. Kreacher is cleaning this place but I don’t trust him to cook our food. If you really want a cooked meal maybe Mrs. Weasley could stop by and cook us something.”
Harry just looked forlorn and shook his head before continuing to eat his sandwich. “Oh, and Harry, before I forget, there is going to be an Order meeting tonight.” Bam Bam BAM! “Harry stop hitting your head on the table.” “Nope.” bam! “Maybe I’ll…” bam! “…go brain dead…” bam! “…and not have to listen…” bam! “…to their bullshit” Whack! This time Remus sacrificed his hand with a sigh, so that Harry’s now red forehead would suffer no further damage.
Later that day, the Headmaster was giving a speech to the Order about the Dark Lords latest plan. “Welcome everybody. We have learned that Voldemort…” here most of the occupants flinched “…plans to attack Hogsmeade before the school year begins. That leaves us with three weeks at the most for his attack to happen. We need to be prepared. We’ll have four guards at Hogsmeade at all times, day and night. Harry and Severus will not be part of the rotation…” At this Harry jumped up and his chair went crashing backwards.
“Professor, I want to fight! I’m supposed to be the Savior and a part of The Order, how can I be that from inside these walls?”
“Now, my boy, I know you became a part of the Order when you turned 17, but it is much too dangerous for you to fight in the war. The battle field is a dangerous place and you need to be trained so that you will be ready for the final battle.”
Harry picked up his chair and sat back down heavily. After this, the Order discussed the Hogsmeade watch schedule and what they would do once Voldemort started his attack. After all of the major details were worked out, it was decided that the smaller details would be taken care of between the partners so that none of the Order members had too much information. The meeting continued for a while with everybody discussing the upcoming battle, giving their reports on the current political climate, Voldemort’s movements, and Harry doing a good impression of Professor Snape’s ‘Longbottom blew up yet another cauldron’ glare.
After most of the Order, including Dumbledore, had left, Mrs. Weasley called in Ginny, the only person not allowed into the meeting, and they cooked dinner for the rest of the Weasley Clan, as well as Harry and Remus. Once she had finished helping her mum, Ginny sat next to Harry, who was sitting on one end of the table and was still sulking. Almost as soon as her bottom touched the chair Harry was nudging her in the ribs and whispering in her ear, “So, Ginny, are you going to ask Blaise out this year? It’s your last chance.”
“Harry! Keep your voice down.”
“Well are you?”
“Noooo, why would I, he’s a Death Eater in training.”
Before Harry could respond that Blaise seemed neutral, Ron came and sat as far away as he could from the two of them on the other side of the rickety old table. Ron and Harry had stopped talking during their 6th year when Ron had decided that Hermione was a freak and disgusting because she was bisexual. Harry himself had told only three people that he was gay, Hermione (obviously), Ginny, and his other friend that he knew would accept him. The dinner itself was rather dull and surprisingly normal if you ignored the tension radiating between Harry, Ginny, and Ron, all of whom wouldn’t even as much as glance across the table throughout the meal. No, the dinner wasn’t all that exciting, but what would happen after the dinner was completely unexpected and would forever change the Wizarding World.
A/N: ¹Recalcitro- a spell I made up, it denies the victim what they most enjoy. Latin for
to kick back or to deny access.
² Obsaepio- another spell I made, it prevents the victim from revealing a certain
event even under legilimency or veritaserum. Latin for to seal up or to block.
Dinner had just finished and after Harry had assured Mrs. Weasley at least twenty times that the dishes weren’t a problem and that Kreacher would clean up without damaging anything, the Weasleys left.
“All right, explain! You practically shoved the Weasleys out of here. Why?” Remus asked with his hands on his hips and a stern look on his face.
“I’m worried about Snape. He arrived later than usual and he was limping, even if he was trying not to show it. Then throughout the meeting he barely even said a word and fidgeted, he FIDGETED, as if he couldn’t get comfortable, do you realize how un-Snape like that is? He always hides his pain; he always has at least one scathing remark; and he always stays stiller than a statue. There were other smaller things too, like not making eye contact, not glaring, and not being the first out the door… actually I think he was second last only Dumbledore and the Weasleys were left when he left.” Harry rushed to explain panting by the end of it.
“I’m sure he’s fine. Look, he’s at Hogwarts, how much harm could come to him while he’s there? Maybe he just got back from a Meeting with You-Know-Who.”
“But that’s the thing, he’s not at Hogwarts. Remember? It was evacuated because the wards need strengthening. ¹”
“What are you suggesting we do?” Remus asked as he lowered his arms and watched as his pup paced in front of the fireplace.
“I know!” Harry yelled as his arm went upwards and he snapped his fingers. “DOBBY!”
“Harry you shouldn’t…”
“You is calling Dobby Master Harry Potter sir?” said the excited house elf after he popped in front of the two men before Remus could finish reprimanding Harry about his manners and treatment of house elves. Remus was also extremely confused as to what Harry was calling the elf for in the first place. First they were talking about Snape and then Harry was summoning Dobby, he had no clue as to where Harry’s train of thought was heading. Before he could ask, Harry continued speaking.
“Hello, Dobby could you please find out where Professor Snape is and see if he is alright. Oh, and Dobby? It is very important that nobody knows that you are there, ok?”
“Oh, yes, Master Harry Potter Sir. I is finding Master Harry’s Sevvie and making sure he is alright without anyone knowing I is there.”
“Thank you Dobby.” The house elf mentioned was already gone though and didn’t hear this last remark.
“Harry, I think we need to talk. First off you have no right to invade Severus’ privacy in this manner.”
“I know Remus but what if he has to stay with Voldemort?”
“Harry I understand that you’re concerned and you might be right, he could be in danger. We should be talking to Professor Dumbledore…”
“NO! Dumbledore is nothing more than a manipulative old man who has ruined many people’s lives, ours included. I really don’t have time to explain and this isn’t the right place anyway, so I’m going to give you my journal². In it I’ve written down every wrong thing Dumbledore has done that I know of. I ask that you hold judgment until you’ve finished reading it.”
“Alright Harry, I’ll keep an open mind for now but I want an explanation sometime soon.”
“Thank you, Remy, and don’t worry once this thing with Snape is over I’ll explain everything I can.”
This sent Remus into another rant about how it is Professor Snape and that Harry should give respect where it is due. During which Harry was going up stairs and grabbed his journal. No sooner did he return down stairs and hand Remus the thick leather bound book then a very distressed Dobby appeared with some disturbing news, all was not well with Severus, not by a long shot.
“Master Harry Potter Sir, Dobby is doing as is asked of him and following the Master’s Sevvie and he is being at Spinner’s End with his Pappy. Master Harry Potter Sir’s Sevvie’s Pappy is a very mean man and is hitting the Professor and the Professor be nakey.”
Harry and Remus were stunned and stared at the wide eyed house elf, before Remus broke the silence.
“Let me get this straight, Severus Snape is at Spinner’s End, with his father being beaten, and is naked?”
“Yes, Master Harry Potter Sir’s Wolfie Sir.”
“Remus, we need to get him out of there and now, but I don’t know where Spinner’s End is, do you?”
“No and I still think we should contact the Headmaster and let him handle this.”
“Remus! I promise he already knows and is probably the reason Snape is in this situation. We need to help him. Please!”
“Harry...you had better explain everything as soon as this is resolved. Dobby, can you take us to Spinner's End?”
“Yes, Master Harry Potter Sir’s Wolfie Sir.”
With this Remus told Harry to go and fetch the basic medic kit from the kitchen, while he went to the main bathroom to grab some more basic healing potions and salves. Soon the two men met up again in the living room with a filled potions bag.
“Okay, here’s the plan, Dobby you are going to bring us to Spinner’s End, then Harry, you are going to immobilize Professor Snape’s father, while I give Severus some basic potions. Dobby, once we’re there you come back here and prepare a room.”
“Wait! Dobby, do not come back here. Go to Atra Bilis Domus, one of my manors, can you do that?”
“Oh, yes, Master Harry Potter Sir.”
“Good, when you get there, there will be some other house elves to help you.” With that the three rescuers were off to save Severus Snape.
The first thing the two men noticed when Dobby popped them into spinner’s end was that the building was run down. The wallpaper that may have once been white was now brown with age and peeling off the walls, the floor was warped and rotting, and there was bugs everywhere you looked. The room they were in looked like it was once a living room, but now it was bare of all furniture. Dobby quietly popped out of the house and went to Atra Bilis Domus to prepare a room and await his master’s return. The two men slowly walked to the closed door, being extremely careful not to make too much noise. Once they got the old oak door open they were in a hallway. Here there was more peeling wallpaper that looked like it might have been a floral pattern but had dulled and browned with age. Now both men were confused, which way should they go? Right, into the kitchen or left, to the staircase? Their decision was made when they heard a whoosh and smack from the kitchen. They ran quickly to the right no longer caring who heard them and then skidded to a halt at the sight before them.
Severus Snape was lying on the ground naked and almost unconscious, his father, Tobias Snape was standing over him with a belt in hand and ready to strike again. Before anyone had a chance to react Harry cast a powerful stunner at the bastard and watched as he went sailing across the room and hit the opposite wall with a thud. Remus snapped out of his daze and went to assist Severus. He knew that Severus would be embarrassed and angry when his mind cleared but Remus didn’t conjure up any clothes, they would only get in the way and cause further harm.
“Harry I’m going to do what I can until we get to your place, so why don’t you run upstairs and find Professor Snape’s belongings?”
Harry ran up the stairs tripping more than once on the carpet and started to search for Snape’s things. Finally, he found them in the furthest bedroom from the stairs. He knew it was his professor’s because there was a single broken frame on the night stand, in it was a crinkled and ripped photo. It was of a small child with black hair and scared looking black eyes sitting in a beautiful woman’s lap, she had flowing black hair and her dark brown eyes were filled with an unparalleled sadness even as she smiled. The bedroom had to be the worst room in the house, not only was the floor warped and the walls horrid but there were also dark brown stains all around. Blood no doubt, thought Harry as he started to gather his professor’s few belongings into a bottomless duffel bag. Mainly it was all clothes with only a few books and nothing more. His teaching robes are missing so he probably left most of his things at Hogwarts was Harry’s parting thought as he ran back downstairs. Once he reached the kitchen he noticed that Severus’ eyes were closed and he looked over to Remus.
“I gave a very small dose of Dreamless Sleep potion. It should last until we get to the manor.”
Remus had also placed some salve on the open cuts to help them stop bleeding and gave him a Blood Replenisher. Harry knelt down next to his professor and carefully swept Snape’s hair back and behind his ear. Then he stood up and marched over to Tobias.
The first thing Tobias saw when he woke up was a highly pissed off teenage wizard holding a wand to his face.
“Right now I can think of two curses that I would love to cast on you! Only problem is that there’s wards surrounding this decrepit shack that will summon some people I really don’t feel like dealing with right now so instead you’re coming with us and staying in my new dungeons. Won’t that be fun?”
“You crazy freak, Dumbledore said…”
“I don’t give a bloody fuck what Dumbledore said, you are going to pay for what you did to Severus.”
Harry quickly bound the now struggling muggle and silenced his screams about freaks, Dumbledore, and calling the police, with a Silencio.
“Remy, is he well enough to leave yet?”
“Yes, but I’m not sure how we are going to get to the manor. We don’t have a Portkey or Floo available and even if we did I am not sure he is stable enough for that kind of travel ³. Unless… Harry I need you to summon Dobby for me.” “DOBBY!”
“Master Harry Potter Sir is calling Dobby?”
Here Remus jumped in and asked Dobby to go and get Sirius’ motorcycle and its sidecar out of the Grimmauld attic. A few seconds after Dobby popped out he was back holding up Sirius’ bike, which had the sidecar already attached, with his magic. Remus gently levitated Severus outside after asking Dobby to bring the bike out back. Smack! Smack! Crash! Bang! Harry came out last, he was levitating a bound and silenced Tobias in front of him and it seemed that his arm was a little jerky as Tobias kept smacking into the walls, doorways, and random pieces of furniture.
Once Dobby had popped back to the manor, Severus was securely lying in an enlarged sidecar, Tobias was magically hanging off of the side car, Remus was sitting on the motorcycle getting ready to drive, and Harry was sitting behind him holding onto Remus’ sides, Remus made them all invisible and started the one-hour drive to Atra Bilis Domus. º
A/N: ¹Hogwarts is one of the most warded buildings in the U.K. but it needs regular up keeping, every ten years to be exact. All this requires is that all humans leave the building including the Headmaster and the school then shuts itself down and replenishes the wards’ magic with the magic that has gathered in the castle over the past decade due to spell casting and such by the students and residents of the castle. Human Magic interferes with this process and that is why they must leave but the creatures can stay. (*Whispers in your ear* “Yes Sev is human in this fic. *Shouts* SURPRISE!)
²You’ll get to read some of it in a later chapter
³The common forms of wizarding transportation all seem to contort the body making them unsafe to use on a seriously injured person.
ºSirius’ motorcycle can travel faster than a normal motorcycle so the trip is actually longer than an hour by muggle means.
***I have at least 28 chapters completed that I am slowly editing and re uploading. I am going to try and and do 1-2 chapters a week.
Throughout the ride to Atra Bilis Domus Harry kept a close eye on Severus. Once the four men arrived at the manor they were greeted by five house elves. Harry immediately took command.
“Mufasa please take Tobias to the dungeons. Sarabi please lead us up to whichever room has been prepared. Simba please go and get Madam Pomfrey from her sister’s house without Dumbledork knowing. Nala please be ready to assist Madam Pomfrey in any way possible and Dobby please get both mine and Remus’ things from Grimmauld and bring them here.”
Once Harry had finished Simba, Nala, and Dobby all popped away while, Mufasa levitated an immobilized Tobias into the deepest dungeons of Atra Bilis Domus. Harry and Remus followed Sarabi who was levitating Severus into a set of rooms on the second floor. The set of rooms contained a living area, a private bathroom, and a bedroom, all of which the men barely even noticed as they moved quickly to get Severus situated on the king sized bed.
A few seconds after the men had gotten Severus settled and dismissed Sarabi they heard twin pops from behind them. They spun around a saw two house elves. One was holding onto a serving cart containing different potions, bandages and a bowl of water and a towel. The other was holding the hand of Madam Pomfrey. The mediwitch looked ready to speak when her eyes fell upon the injured potion master, she then rushed into action, giving orders and asking questions.
“What happen? How bad? What did you give him?”
Remus was the one to answer. “He was beaten and possible raped. I gave him Dreamless Sleep, a mild healing lotion, and a Blood Replenisher.”
“Harry start cleaning him up but gently using just water I need to see where the injuries are the worst. Remus, help me give him some of these potions.”
They worked for what seemed like forever to Harry and more than once they thought he wouldn’t make it. They gave him another dose of Dreamless Sleep and Harry felt like he never stopped wiping off blood from Severus’ pale and clammy skin. Blood Replenisher after Blood Replenisher was poured down Severus’ unresisting throat and spell after spell was cast to heal the cut, bruises, and broken bones. The worst though wasn’t the shattered shin or the dislocated shoulder, no, the worst was when they gently turned him over and saw confirmation of sexual abuse. All three of the room’s occupants were on the verge of tears as they saw bruising and tearing around the anus. Madam Pomfrey made sure to clean the area thoroughly and applied an antiseptic healing balm. She also performed a spell to clean out the sleeping man's intestines.
"He needs a gentle bland diet, lots of fluids, and a lot of rest. He should not need to have a bowel movement for at least the next 2-3 days. The balm should help prevent any infection as he heals and as long as it is not washed off prematurely it will not need to be reapplied. You should not cast a cleaning spell or allow him to bathe for at least the next 6 hours while the balm is working. After that a cleaning spell can be used. A bath would be alright but only if he is monitored the entire time, he most likely will not want that to occur. He should stay in bed as much as possible until he is cleared for more strenuous activities."
Once Madam Pomfrey felt Severus was on his way to recovery she told the other two men that she had to go back to her sister’s before the Headmaster’s wards alerted him that she had been gone too long.
“The Headmaster has placed wards around my sister's house in the guise of protection due to the war. I truly believe that he is simply trying to monitor everyone as much as he can. If Severus' condition worsens or you’re not sure about something send Simba to come and get me.”
With these parting words, she popped back to her sister’s house with Simba. The two men just stood looking at the spot where she had been, not knowing what to do next. Finally, Remus snapped out of it enough to turn to Harry.
“Do you want me to stay here with you?” Harry just shook his head. He needed time to think. So much had happened in such a short time. Remus understood. “I’m going to my room now and I’ll be unpacking and reading the journal you gave me. Feel free to come and get me if you need me.”
“Ok Remy I’m going to stay here and just keep an eye on Snape.”
Harry called Dobby and had the elf show Remus to his room down the hall. Once Severus’ room cleared out Harry levitated the nearest chair over next to the bed. He then sat in the black leather recliner and looked at his potions professor. The Greasy Git, The Dungeon Bat, all those titles were forgotten as Harry looked over at Severus now. Harry was certain of one thing, he would never see his potions professor the same way again. He looked so vulnerable and young, lying on the black silk bedding, which contrasted, greatly with his pale skin. After the three had healed him they had decided it would be best to dress him only in a pair of loose fitting cotton pajama bottoms and now his bare chest showed from under the light sheet that had been placed over his legs and torso.
Harry slowly reached over and ran his knuckles over Severus’ cheek, feeling how cold and clammy it still was even after all the potions and spells. He then ran his hand down onto the Potion Master’s chest feeling the reassuring steady thump-thump of his heart. After lightly holding his hand on the older man’s chest for several minutes, he called for Nala and asked her to get him his guitar. He then started to play and sing to keep himself busy and maybe help Severus feel safe.
“Laying alone with the history that made you cold and uncertain inside.
Careful now, deep breath, the water's still rising.
But your silver lining's in sight.
When you feel like you're breaking down,
And your body's just giving in,
And you can't go on broken like this any longer.
Close your eyes,
Don't you cry.
Let the sorrow within you subside.
Have no fear.
Give your weight to me when you hear this lullaby."
Harry looked over and saw the slow rising and falling of Severus’ chest, thinking about all the history behind those closed eyes. How many nights had Severus sat up in fear waiting for the next blow to land both figuratively and literally?
"You say all seems so wrong with the life that you're living.
You're searching for some reasons why.
You're so scared to trust, you're feeling unworthy.
Aching for comfort tonight.
When your heart's too sore to beat,
And you feel it might never heal,
And you feel not even beggars want you.
Close your eyes,
Don't you cry.
Let the sorrow within you subside.
Have no fear.
Give your weight to me when you hear this lullaby."
Right then and there Harry decided he would be the one to show Severus how much he truly was worth and that there were people in the word who wanted him just as he was.
"Close your eyes,
Don't you cry.
Let the sorrow within you subside.
Have no fear.
Give your weight to me when you hear this lullaby.
Don't you cry,
Let the darkness within you feel light.
Have no fear.
You'll find comfort in me like child with this lullaby.”
After summoning Nala once again and chugging down the water she got for him, Harry moved on to the next song. A song that Harry hoped would lend Severus its strength.
“Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Into the light of a dark black night
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise."
It was only after Harry had finished up with this song that he noticed that the Dreamless Sleep had worn off and Severus was now staring at him.
A/N: The songs are Lullaby be Emmy Rossum and Blackbird (the version I used is sung by Sarah Mclachlan). I don’t own them anymore then I own Harry Potter and the gang.
Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Getting to Know You
The two men continued to stare at each other for what seemed to be an eternity. Then Harry slowly stood up causing Severus to shrink back into the bedding. Thoughts raced through both of their minds. What do I do now? Why is Potter here, did the Headmaster send him too? Is he going to hit me? Finally, Harry decided to break the awkward silence.
“Can I get you anything, Professor?”
When Snape got the courage to reply all that came out was a hoarse croak from the time he spent screaming.
“Ok I’ll take that to mean that you need a drink.”
Harry went to call a house elf. As soon as his hand was in the air to snap his fingers, Snape was struggling with the bedding to get away from Harry’s hand. Harry’s hand immediately dropped and he took a few steps back. He started to make calming sounds and kept repeating that he wasn’t going to harm him. All of a sudden, Severus fell completely out of the bed. Harry rushed around to check on him and was extremely saddened by what he saw. Severus had curled up in the corner under the sheet that had previously been covering his body.
Harry now had no idea what to do. He knew what it felt like to always expect the next blow to come but he did not know how to comfort someone else. Harry took a few steps back and while keeping Severus in his sights he raised his hand and summoned Mufasa.
“Mufasa, please fetch me a glass of water for Professor Snape and ask Remus to come down here.”
Mufasa was quick to comply and as soon as he returned, Harry was set on his next course of action. Harry took the glass from Mufasa with a word of thanks and slow approached the shivering sheet. Once he was next to the sheet he knelt down and softly pulled it away from Severus’ face. This set of a whole new wave of shivers and caused Severus to curl up into an even smaller ball. In the softest voice he could manage, Harry tried to reassure his professor that he was only trying to help.
“Professor, I’m not going to hurt you. Come on your safe. Shhh everything is going to start getting better. I have a glass of water; it will help your throat.”
Harry kept talking and was so focused on the man before him that he did not notice Remus standing in the doorway. Remus watched Harry slowly coax Severus into drinking the water and was amazed at how gentle Harry was even after all Dumbledore had put him through. When the house elf had popped in on him, Remus had just finished reading entry 1 of the journal Harry had given him. The entry had spoken of how Dumbledore knew that the Dursleys were mistreating Harry and still did nothing about it. It spoke of a young boy begging his Headmaster not to go back to an abusive home and being turned down each time on the premises that the blood wards were more important than a few slaps or a few missed meals.
By the time, Remus snapped out of his revere he noticed that Harry had once again backed away from Severus and was now sitting cross-legged talking to him. Severus for his part still held the sheet tightly around his partially nude body and was staring at Harry. Remus decided now was a good time to make himself known. Tap! Tap! Both of the men in the room turned to see Remus standing in the doorway. His knuckle was still on the door frame and he slowly let it drop as he entered the room.
He kept walking towards the two men until Severus started to shrink into himself again. Then he stopped and sat down right where he was. If anyone was to enter now they would see the most shocking of sights, two Gryffindors, one a marauder, the other The-Boy-Who-Lived and a Slytherin who hates them both, just sitting on the floor staring in absolute silence.
Finally, Remus broke the silence that hung around them all.
“Is there anyone you would like for us to call? I understand that we can’t be your first choice of company so anyone else that we can contact we will.”
Severus wasn’t sure what to do. Thoughts were running through his head faster than snitches and they were just as hard to grab a hold of as well. Do they really want to help me? Are they trying to trick me? If I tell them will they use it against me? If I don’t tell them are they going to beat me? Which is worst?
Remus thought that Severus’ silence was due to him thinking about who to contact. Harry knew better, he understood what it was like to question every word and deed others said and did. He knew how self-destructive it was and decided to say something.
“Professor, I promise this isn’t a trick and if you want it can wait until you’re well enough to fire call them yourself. But, that means you’ll have to put up with us for a bit longer. Mme. Pomfrey said that you shouldn’t leave these rooms until your better so why don’t we get you back into the bed?”
Timidly Severus tried to stand up only to land on the floor once more. Harry approached him, making sure to move slowly and in a non-threatening manner. With Harry’s help and Remus hovering on the sidelines Severus finally made it back into the bed. Already he was feeling drained from all the excitement and fear, he quickly fell back to sleep. Remus and Harry slowly walked out of the room and closed the door behind them.
“Harry, we need to talk. I’ve read your first journal entry and I want the full truth of what happened with the Dursleys.”
“Can it wait until tomorrow?”
“Alright.” Harry sighed. “Let’s go downstairs and we’ll talk.”
Remus cast a monitoring charm to alert them both if Severus needed them.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5: The Talk
Remus and Harry settled down in the main sitting room with a tea service. Remus sat on a black leather couch while Harry occupied a matching armchair. For the first few minutes they sat there in an awkward silence neither man sure what to say. Remus took in the room and noticed that there were two couches facing each other and an armchair that faced the fireplace. It also looked like a chess set was set up against one of the walls. Other than these pieces of furniture the room was quite bare. Once Remus was done looking at the room he decided to start the conversation.
“Harry, according to your journal the Dursleys did more than just slap you around a little and Dumbledore knew about it.”
“It’s true. The Dursleys were very physical and Dumbledore did nothing about it. He told me that it was safer at that house then without the blood wards. Now I see that he is in the habit of leaving people at abusive households. Tom Marvolo Riddle, our favorite Dark Lord, lived in an abusive orphanage. You saw the type of house Snape had to live in. I know that Marvolo begged Headmaster Dippet not to place him back in the orphanage but Dumbledore convinced Dippet to send him back. I’m also sure at some point Snape made the same request to Dumbledore and was denied. Dumbledore doesn’t care so long as he is in control.”
“Harry, please remember to call him Professor Snape. More importantly how do you know so much about Voldemort and his upbringing, and why are you calling him Marvolo?”
“Remember I told you about my second year? Well I may have left out some minor details.”
“Ummm… I might have written in the journal more than once and I might have become if not friends then very well acquainted with Marvolo. And I call him that ‘cause he doesn’t like the name Tom or Voldemort.”
“Wasn’t he the one who created the name, Voldemort?”
“Yea, but it was just a teenager fooling around. It wasn’t until Dumbledore started his crusade against Marvolo that the name Voldemort was even used.”
“You mean to tell me that Professor Dumbledore is the one responsible for Voldemort’s name, not Voldemort himself?”
“You’re positive that Professor Dumbledore knew that both Vold-Marvolo and you were being abused?”
“Yes. I saw a memory of Marvolo begging Headmaster Dippet for a new place to stay. Marvolo told him about the beatings and the mental abuse, but Dumbledore somehow convinced Dippet that Marvolo was lying or at least exaggerating. Do you know what it is like being told day after day that you are a freak? That you are not worthy of even the most common of needs? Do you know what it is like being beaten with fists and feet and belts while others just stand there laughing? It tears you apart. Eventually you get used to the physical pain but the verbal abuse that’s what gets you. You start to believe what they tell you. You are a worthless freak. You do not deserve to eat. You do deserve every bit of punishment they are willing to bestow upon you. You should be grateful that they are willing to take care of a freak like you and correct your wrong doings. Over and over these words play in your head until they become your mantra and you fight just to rise above them. Until one day you just stop fighting.”
By the time Harry was done talking he was panting and on the verge of tears. Remus was sitting there stunned until he managed to snap out of it.
“You are talking from experience, aren’t you Harry?”
In a very small voice that made even Remus strain to hear Harry replied with only one word. “Yes.”
“You told Dumbledore didn’t you, and he did nothing. Just like with Vol-Marvolo.” Remus got up off the leather couch and sat down on the arm of Harry’s armchair. He then gently placed his arms around him hoping to offer some comfort. His pup had gone thru so much and he had been unable to help him.
After a short period of time Remus was forced to sit up less he became stuck in that position. As Remus stretched Harry wiped his eyes and was surprised to find that he had been silently crying. Freaks weren’t allowed to cry. After letting out a jaw cracking yawn Remus checked the time and decided it was well past both their bedtimes. The men bid each other goodnight and headed off to bed.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6: Trust
The next morning Harry woke up to a blaring alarm. It seems Snape was trying to get out of bed. Harry rolled out of bed and made his way down the hall to Snape’s room, grumbling the whole way.
When Harry reached the room, he quickly knocked twice then he opened the door. What he saw made him want to laugh; instead, he covered it up by coughing. The professor was wrapped up in a blanket lying on the floor with his arms outstretched in front of him. Snape turned his head and glared from his mangled mess on the floor. Harry slowly walked over to him trying not to have a repeat of yesterday. As he got closer, the professor lost his glare and started to shake, the blanket wrapped around his legs making him feel even more vulnerable. Harry stopped a few feet away and decided to get Severus speaking.
“Good Morning Professor, what has you trying to move all about today?”
Unfortunately, Severus was still too wary of his motives to reply. He was also afraid that he was in trouble for being up and out of bed so early; his father would never stand for it.
“Professor, I promise you that you are in absolutely no trouble. I only ask to see if I can help. You see Mme. Pomfrey wants you to stay in bed as much as possible and only get up with help. So how can I help you?”
Harry, who had taken a single small step while Severus was speaking, stopped. He looked at the shaking man in front of him and realized that no amount of words would ever reach him. So instead, Harry laid down where he was and rested his head on his arms. He was now eye level with Severus. For the first few minutes, the two men simple looked at each, assessing each other. It was during this time that both men came to a decision. Harry would try to be more informal and Severus decided to place some trust in Harry for now.
“Professor, may I call you Severus?” Severus gave a timid nod wondering why Harry was even asking. “Severus, please let me help you.”
“I…I need… Ineedtogotothebathroom”
Harry sat still for a few seconds trying to figure out what exactly Severus had said. When it finally came to him, he was shocked. It was so obvious.
“Okay, Severus I’m going to help you get untangled first, then we’ll make our way to the bathroom. Alright?”
Severus having used up what little courage he had simply nodded in reply.
Slowly Harry crawled over to where Severus lay still wrapped in his blanket, and very carefully pulled the blanket off him. Severus wrapped his arms around his head and cowered instinctively against another man being so close. Harry moved back and tried to remind Severus who he was with the only way he knew how, he sang.
At school they taught me how to be
So pure in thought and word and deed
They didn't quite succeed
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin
It's a sin
Everything I've ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place I've ever been
Everywhere I'm going to
It's a sin
By the end of the song, Severus had stopped shaking and was look at Harry.
“Sometimes I get overwhelmed or have a nightmare and I have a hard time remembering where I am or who is with me. My roommates didn’t know how to handle it and often times even when trying to help they would make it worse. Then by accident it was discovered that music was a great grounding technique for me. I find it comforting when someone sings or plays music. I hope it helps you too.”
Not wanting to spook Severus more than necessary, Harry slowly picked him up bridal style and headed towards the dark oak door on his left. Severus, who was too frightened to protest the undignified position, grasped around Harry’s neck and held on with all his strength.
When Harry reached the door, he gently placed Severus on his feet and while still supporting him he opened the door. The room that was revealed was astounding. The floor was black marble with dark blue streaks and the walls were white marble with identical dark blue streaks. The bathtub was set into the ground and more than large enough to be considered a swimming pool. Harry led Severus over to the toilet and slowly slipped out from under his arm.
“Do you think you can manage on your own or do you need help?”
“I… can manage.”
“Alright when you’re finished call out and I’ll come and help you back to your bed.”
With that, Harry walked back out the door and cast a monitoring spell just in case. Luckily, it was not needed and a few minutes later Harry was once again helping Severus into bed. After getting Severus settled in bed, Harry took a few steps back and summoned a house elf. He ordered two bland breakfasts and sat in the recliner next to the bed. Both men ate their breakfast in complete silence broken only by the sound of silverware scraping against their plates. Once both men were finished, Severus’ eyes began to close so Harry quickly asked if Severus had thought of anyone he wanted to visit him. When he received a tentative reply, he excused himself with a few final words.
“If you need me simply call out and either Remus or I will come immediately.”
After closing the door Harry headed downstairs where he found Remus reading in the main study.
“Hi Remy! Snape just fell back asleep and I thought it might be a good time to deal with some slime I have in my dungeons, then I need to floo someone for Snape.”
“I would love to help you teach that piece of slime a lesson.”
Chapter 7: Chapter 7: Punishment and Secrets Revealed
The dungeons were cold and uninviting but for the most part they were clean and decently lit. So far the only tenant was Tobias but if Harry had his way that would soon change and the walls would echo with his persecutors’ screams and his laughter. He would laugh just as they laughed when he screamed. Yet for now, he would have to be content with one man’s screams.
The two men walked up to Tobias’ cell and saw a mad man. His short time enclosed in the cell had already made his eyes glaze over in madness. He was sitting in the far corner of the cell staring at the wall and muttering to himself. Remus turned shocked to Harry and told him what the madman was mumbling.
“He is saying ‘He shall come for me. ‘Woe to the wicked! Disaster is upon them! They will be paid back for what their hands have done.¹’ Hehe, Yes Yes woe unto them for laying hand upon me.’ He believes himself blameless and thinks we are doing wrong by him.”
Harry opened the cell door and grabbed Tobias by the collar. He sent him crashing into the cell bars with an ear ringing clang. Remus decided to stay out of it for now even though his wolf was begging to rip into the slime.
“You think you’re innocent, that beating your son is ok? Well it’s not. We’re going to show you what it’s like to be beaten without reason and nobody is going to save you.” Harry yelled at the pathetic excuse of a man.
“Dumbledore? Oh he doesn’t care about you. He was merely using you the same way he uses everyone. He won’t come for you because you don’t matter.”
Harry grabbed a whip from a shelf directly outside the cell and started to pay Tobias back for all he had done to Severus. After twenty or so lashes Remus stepped in and grabbed Harry’s arm. Remus quickly cast a Rennervate and a Vigilo Perpetuo² to make sure Tobias did not fall unconscious again. Then he started his own form of vengeance.
Remus was much more magical in his torment preferring to use spells rather than brute force as Harry had done. He cast spells that played tricks on Tobias’ mind like illusions of Dumbledore coming to save him and of mouthwatering buffets laid out before him but they always vanished before he could get to them. He would howl out his despair with each disappearance and cry for joy when a new one came.
When Remus got bored of mind games, he moved on to physical spells. He cast spells that burnt the flesh off Tobias’ body and singularly broke every bone in his body except for the ones that are vital for life, such as his skull and his spine. After each spell Remus made sure to heal Tobias enough that he would not die but also made sure that the pain did not diminish. Then Remus made sure to cast Poenio ³. This spell made sure that Tobias would feel the pain and suffering he put his son through every night for the rest of his life.
After five hours of torture, the men decided to go and have lunch. They closed the cell door and cast high level locking spells on it making sure that the pile of dung was not leaving anytime soon. As they turned to leave the dungeons, Harry thought of something.
“You shall never orgasm, or enjoy alcohol again. Recalcitroº! And just to make sure this is an actual punishment the only liquid you will be provided with during your stay here with be muggle beer. Enjoy!”
Both men walked back upstairs and went into the library. Remus picked out a book and started reading, while Harry went and made a very interesting fire call.
“Hey, Dray how’s your summer going?”
“Harry?! I told you not to call me here unless it’s an emergency.”
“Sorry Dray but it kinda is. See your Godfather is here and he’s injured.”
“WHAT?! How bad is? Is he going to be ok? Step back I’m coming thr…”
“Hold on! Madam Pomfrey has already healed what she can. Now he needs his family around him and when I asked him who he wanted to see he asked for your father. I was hoping that you and your parents could come and spend the rest of the summer here with us.”
“Of course. I’ll go tell them right now but you had better explain everything when we get there.
“Of course.” Harry mimicked as he moved back to disconnect the fire call.
¹ Isaiah 3:11 (NIV) Bible verse
² Vigilo Perpetuo- a spell I made up, it keeps the victim awake for as long as the caster wishes. Latin for forever awake.
³ Poenio- a spell I made up. Latin for to punish (person/offense) or avenge
ºRecalcitro- a spell I made up, it denies the victim what they most enjoy. Latin for to kick back or to deny access.
When the floo flared green and his first guest stepped through, Harry was ready. He had tea and biscuits waiting on the coffee table and he was seated in a comfy leather armchair. Remus had already excused himself to go check on their guest. When Harry saw Draco emerge, he beckoned him over and had him sit down on the sofa. Next, to arrive was Lucius. When he laid eyes on Harry, he immediately raised his wand and was ready to cast but stopped when he heard his son speak up.
“Father, please stop. Harry means us no harm. He has news about Uncle Sev.”
Lucius lowered his wand keeping a firm grip on it and sat next to his son but kept an eye on Harry. Finally, Narcissa came through and upon spotting Harry, she quickly went from looking stunned to reaching for her wand. Once again, it was Draco who stopped her.
“Mom, please just sit down and everything will be explained.”
Narcissa gave a minute nod of her head and sat down next to her husband, never letting go of her wand or letting Harry out of her sight.
“Hello Lord and Lady Malfoy. I know you both have many questions. Yet if I could first explain Draco and my friendship, I think it will make explaining why you are here much easier.”
When everyone had nodded their consent Harry started his explanation.
“Last year while both Draco and I were staying at Hogwarts for Christmas, Draco came out to the school that he was gay.”
Here Draco cut in.
“I figured that since only about fifteen people were staying it would help keep the rumors under control.”
“Unfortunately, he didn’t count on Ronald being such a prat. One day as Draco was walking in an empty hallway Weasel, Colin Creevey, and Lavender Brown ambushed him and dragged him into an abandoned classroom. Their plan was to take compromising pictures of Draco and blackmail him into doing whatever they wanted. I had been following Ronald since he had been acting very suspicious ever since Draco came out. When I saw them ambush Draco, I ran and got Hermione. We broke into the room right before the first picture was taken. We were going to tell the headmaster what had happened but we know from past experience that he would not help us. Instead, we took Draco to the room of requirement where we talked for a while. Since then we have slowly developed a friendship.”
Both parents looked stunned by the end of the explanation. Lucius slowly became enraged while Narcissa became more and more concerned.
“Draco, sweet heart why didn’t you tell us what had happened?”
“Because mother, there’s nothing to be done and they haven’t really bothered us since. Anyway that’s how we became friends and now how about why we’re here?”
Draco turned to look at Harry at the last part. Harry quickly went on to explain how he had seen Professor Snape’s discomfort and dragged Remus into saving him. In his explanation, he made sure to include that most abused children never spoke out against their abuser and after a few years, they stop fighting.
“You should also know that Tobias kept saying that he was only doing what Dumbledore told him to. I believe that Dumbledore threatened Snape into staying with his father.”
He then went on to explain the state Severus was in now and how he had requested to see Lucius.
“I couldn’t say no to him and I know that you all must be like family to him so I called you. Plus, I remembered Dray saying that Snape is his godfather.”
“How many times do I have to tell you it’s PROFESSOR Snape?”
“Hi Remy. What’s up?”
“Severus is awake but he won’t let me near him so I came to get you.”
Harry stood up and walked towards the hallway to go upstairs. Before he completely left the room he stopped and turned towards the Malfoys.
“I’m going to go and check on the Professor right now but I’ll ask him if he’s up to seeing you. If you want, there are guest rooms available. Remy, if they ask, can you please show them the rooms next to yours? Thanks.”
Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing! I have been reading each review and it has kept me motivated to update this story and continue working on it!!!
When Harry reached the professor’s room, he saw that Remus had severely understated Severus’ condition. Severus was once again curled up with the blanket in the far corner. Harry had no idea how to handle this kind of situation. His first instinct was to go over and hug him, but then he remembered something.
It was from fifth year after Sirius had died. He had just had a horrible nightmare, he was back at the ministry and the battle was raging around him. Sirius’ words were ringing through his head “Nice one, James¹!” While he was distracted Sirius started to fall through the veil only this time it was Vernon’s fist and not Bellatrix’ spell pushing him in.
That night when Harry woke up screaming he remembered that Ron was shaking him. He also remembered that the shaking made him sink further into himself and remember worse memories. Okay no touching yet. Then he remembered something else something even more useful. He remembered Neville pulling Ron away and quietly talking until he had calmed down from the memories. Harry decided to do the same thing.
When he looked he saw that Severus hadn’t moved the whole time he was lost on memory lane. Harry closed the bedroom door and slowly lowered himself to the ground.
“Hi Severus, how do you feel today?”
Harry waited a few seconds for a reply, not really expecting one. He then chose his next words carefully making sure to watch for even the minute response.
“I invited some people over. They’re friends of yours, I’ve already told them some of what I know and they want to see you. It’s the Malfoys, Lucius, Narcissa and Draco, they’re all here.”
At the mention of Lucius’ name, Severus had stopped shaking to a point, but he went right back when Harry was finished speaking.
“I was thinking that we could eat lunch and then I could bring in Lucius for a few minutes. The others want to see you too but Madam Pomfrey said that you need to rest and I think three visitors might be too much on top of all the excitement you had today. They might be staying here for at least a few days so you’ll have time to see them later. What do you think?”
By the time Harry had stopped talking, Severus was looking at him and just staring. He did not answer the question but Harry would take all that he could get. Unfortunately, he was running out of things to say.
“Umm… Severus I promise not to hurt you. Can I please help you back onto the bed? I really don’t think being on the floor is good for you. Please Severus?”
To Harry’s great surprise, the man in front of him looked away and answered him. It was the smallest of whispers but in the silence of the bedroom, Harry heard it.
Harry planned his next moves very carefully to make sure he did not startle Severus. Harry started by crawling over to Severus and stopped the instant he saw him curl up even more.
“It’s just me Severus. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to help you onto the bed.”
Harry continued softly reassuring him as he started to once again inch his way closer. Once he was close enough, he stopped and told Severus that he was going to pick him up and place him on the bed now. This made Severus start to shake even worse but Harry felt that it would be better just to get it over and done with so he did as he said he would. Once Severus was in his bed he was back to the nearly catatonic state. Harry backed away to the chair that he has claimed. As Harry sat there thinking about all that has happened in such a short amount and how much was left to be done. As he felt his stress increase he decided to focus on today and helping his potion professor the best that he can. As Harry pulled himself out of his thoughts he noticed that Severus had not calmed down at all. The silence started to bug Harry and he was running out of ideas on how to help. So far he had been going based on instinct and he vowed to do some reading on trauma and caring for someone that has been abused. Of course that did not help in the current moment. Falling back on what had worked in the past, Harry started to sing. In his softest possible voice, he sang Temple of Thought by Poets of the Fall. Finally, after twenty minutes Severus was back in bed, calmly looking at Harry and Harry was calling for lunch.
Lunch consisted of toast, yogurt, mixed fruit, and some black tea.
“I know it’s not much but Poppy said you can’t have anything too heavy yet.”
Severus just looked at his food and started eating, honestly it was better than most of what he got to eat so far this summer. It was soon time for Harry to go and get Lucius. He stood from the recliner and told Severus where he was going.
When Harry arrived back in the living room, he found all three Malfoys and Remus talking about recent events. The instant they noticed him they stopped and waited to hear how it went so Harry told them.
“He’s alright but I’m afraid he can’t see all three of you today. He just ate lunch and he was hoping that Lord Malfoy would come up and visit him for a few minutes. Also did you all get to eat as well?”
“Yes thank you Mr. Potter the food was wonderful. If you would show me to Severus’ room?”
Lucius replied with impatience dripping from his voice. Harry simply nodded and started back the way he came while the others returned to their conversation.
¹Order of the Phoenix the movie
Chapter 10: Chapter 10: Friendship
Sorry for the delay, some of the comments I received pissed me off enough that I had to take a break from working on this story. Especially, kiloran's comment. I want to make something very clear. I do not condone abuse, torture, or bullying. however, this is a story. One that I wrote roughly 10yrs ago when I was a teenager. Tobias' torture is not related to the BDSM aspects of this story. Harry to some degree enjoys punishing the man but he does not find it arousing. This story will contain BDSM but it will be RISK aware and Safe, Sane, Consensual. If this story is not your cup of tea then don't read it!
It did not take long at all for the two men to reach Severus’ room. Harry made Lucius stop outside and gained a ‘Death Eater’ glare for it.
“There are five rules before we enter. One, don’t touch him unless he says O.K. I know you’re his friend but right now he’s afraid of everyone. Two, don’t get too…”
“No! You listen to these rules or you don’t enter the room and that’s final. Now as I was saying don’t get too close because he spooks easily. Three, don’t raise your voice or your hands. Four, I stay in the room unless he tells me to leave. And five, if he gets too bad you leave. I don’t know how bad you’ve seen him before but …just be careful with him.”
“I would never harm him! How dare you. You impertinent…”
“Maybe not on purpose but anyway let’s go in.”
Harry knocked softly and slowly opened the door. Severus was sitting on the bed wrapped in a blanket. He looked like a fragile child not the cold-hearted Dungeon Bat/Death Eater he portrayed during the school year. Harry walked in and stood off to the side of the door while Malfoy Sr. walked in and closed the door.
“Good afternoon Severus. You would never believe the astounding news I heard today. Draco and Harry, yes Harry Potter, are friends. Is that not just amazing.”
Malfoy continued to tell Severus all the facts he had learned as he wandered over to the recliner next to the bed. Once he sat down he started to ramble on about Draco wanting a new broom and Narcissa just needing this new dress, or so she says. All in all, he kept the conversation very light and one sided. Eventually Severus’ eyes began to droop and Harry had to cut Lucius off.
“It’s time for Professor Snape to eat and then if he’s up to it you can come back afterwards.”
“Very well, I shall see you soon then Severus! Enjoy your dinner.”
With these words, Lucius walked out of the room and headed to his room to freshen up before his own dinner began. Harry took a few steps further into the room and started speaking with Severus.
“Do you need to go to the bathroom?”
Severus looked uncertain, he wanted to say yes but he didn’t want to anger Harry not when he was being so nice. His silence was all the answer Harry needed though so once again Harry talked Severus through what was going to happen. He slowly approached and picked up the now shaking man and carried him over to the bathroom. When they got there, he put the man down on his feet by the toilet and left the room just like last time. Outside the door, he cast another monitoring charm and waited. Luckily, the charm proved to be unneeded and Harry then helped Severus back into bed and summoned dinner. He ordered some chicken soup that was more broth than soup, mixed fruit, black tea, and a glass of water. Dinner passed much the same way as had lunch, afterwards when everything was cleared away Severus laid back down and drifted off to sleep. Harry quietly slipped out of the room and checked his monitoring charms before dimming the lights and softly closing the door.
Harry decided to see if he could find the others and started to wander around the house looking for any clue as to where his housemates were. What he found shocked him to the very core.
Chapter 11: Chapter 11: A Chat with a Dragon
Everyone was gathered in the dining room and the noise level was deafening. The surprising part though was that they weren’t fighting, no they were laughing and having what seemed to be a joyful conversation. Harry couldn’t believe his eyes… or his ears.
“What is going on here?”
Remus was the first to respond.
“Oh Harry! Draco was just telling us of your time together at school. I can’t believe you helped Hagrid raise a dragon! What were you thinking?”
“We convinced him to get rid of it! Bet he hasn’t told you about ‘Draco Malfoy, The Amazing, Bouncing Ferret’¹.”
“Now that sounds interesting.”
Harry laughed and started to tell the tale over Draco’s protesting. The five people continued to chat and time flew by. Eventually it came time to retire to bed and everyone said good night. Harry made sure to check on Severus one last time before heading off to get ready for bed. Remus decided to stay up a little while longer and read another journal entry. The Elder Malfoys stayed up and discussed the day’s events. Draco waited a little while and then snuck into Harry’s room for the night. He sat down on Harry’s bed and waited for his “brother” to come in.
As soon as Harry entered his room, he was bombarded with questions.
“Did you tell Remus about the Dark Lord? Can I tell my parents about the Dark Lord? Are you going to…” “STOP! One question at a time.”
Harry sat down on his bed along with Draco and settled in for a long night.
“No I didn’t tell Remus. I gave him my journal and he should eventually read about it, I guess. I think it would be best to wait on your parents until Remus finds out. Now continue.”
Draco thought about what Harry said for a little while before coming to a conclusion.
“Harry, I respect you and I would never question your authority but the war is escalating I don’t know if we have the time for that.
Maybe it would be better to just sit everyone down and explain it to them.”
“Draco you have a very good point but I’m afraid. I’m afraid that Remus is going to hate me, I’m afraid that everyone I love is going to leave me.”
“You know I’ll stay with you and all of our friends are going to stand with you already. Remember, we all already know and we love you. Anyway, aren’t you supposed to be a Gryffindork?”
"You know what you’re right. I’m a Gryffindor damn it! Let’s do it. Tomorrow after breakfast we’ll all sit down and have a chat about the truth behind Marvolo’s and my relationship.”
“Great idea! Can I sleep here?”
Harry just laughed and nodded his head before lying down and holding his arms open. Both boys said good night and drifted off to sleep. They were the last of the household to give into Morpheus’ call. The next day was sure to be crazy.
Harry woke up early again to his wards going off. When he turned over he noticed Dray was also awake and looking around wondering what was going on.
“Don’t worry it’s just letting me know that Snape is awake.”
Giving Draco a brotherly kiss on the forehead, he got up and went down to Snape’s room. Today Harry knew what to expect and was not surprised to find his professor on the floor a few steps away from the bed. The only differences were a lack of a blanket wrapped around him and he was sitting up. Harry acted the same way as last time and after a short period of time Severus had used the loo and was safely back in his bed. Harry ordered another bland breakfast and ate with Severus. When the food was finished, Harry cleared it away with Nala’s help and then he sat back down in the recliner.
“Severus, I’m going to have a very important conversation today with Remus and the Malfoy’s. I plan to tell you everything I tell them but there is three ways we can do this. We can go down stairs and you can sit with everyone while I talk. We can have everyone come up here either in your bedroom or your sitting room. Or I can talk to them first and then come up here and talk to you. The choice is completely up to you.”
Severus simply sat there looking overwhelmed and frightened. Thoughts were racing through his mind. What could he want to talk about? Is he giving me up? Is it because I get up too early? Soon the thoughts spun out of control and Severus broke down. He started to cry and beg as he curled up.
“Please! I’ll be better. I won’t get up as early. I…”
Harry could not stand seeing his once so proud professor break down so he gathered him up in his arms and started rocking. Harry tried explaining the situation better but the frightened man seemed to be lost in his own head. With little else to do, Harry started to sing, hoping that the rocking and the singing would help remind Severus where he is and who he is with.
“When I stumbled
You were right there
For every act of love you've done
I owe you one
There were hard times
I know I survived
Just because you stayed by my side
With all I have, with all I am
I promise you all my life
Whenever the road is too long
Whenever the wind is too strong
Wherever the journey may lead to
I will be there for you.”
Once Harry had stopped singing Severus had calmed down somewhat and was now simple looking at him. Harry held the sorrowful man close and tried to reassure him.
“I’m not getting rid of you. You are more than welcome to stay here as long as you want even after you feel better. You’ve done nothing wrong. Ok? You are safe here and you are not in any trouble. Now you mentioned getting up too early. How about from now on I come in at 6 and help you get ready for the day? If you need me before 6 I will still come for you but this way we will have a little routine.”
Severus was weary of answering but nodded his head hoping his trust was not misplaced.
“Ok, as for what we’re going to talk about well it’s about the war and a few truths that need to be said.”
Severus noticed how nervous Harry had become and decided to speak up.
“I…I would like to… I would like to have it in mysittingroom.”
“You want all of us to talk in your sitting room?”
Severus quickly nodded his head before he lost the courage.
“Ok I’ll tell the others. Why don’t you rest for now and I’ll come back for lunch. After which I’ll help you get changed and we’ll have the others come in. If you change your mind you can tell me at lunch and we’ll switch plans.”
With this Harry made sure Severus was comfortable and then went back to his own room. Draco had long since gotten out of bed and gone downstairs for breakfast so Harry had the room to himself again. He quickly took a shower and got ready for the day ahead. As for clothing he threw on his pajamas and ran down to Draco’s room where he raided the closet for something rich and fancy to wear. Once he was “properly” dressed, Harry strode downstairs and found his guests finishing breakfast.
“Hello Lady Malfoy and gentlemen. I hope you all had a good night’s rest and…”
“Bloody hell Harry! How many times have I told you not to steal my clothes?”
Both of the senior Malfoys started to correct their son’s language while Harry had a good laugh about it.
“Don’t worry Dray I’ll return them to you. Now after lunch I would like to have a discussion about the war and a few lies that have been going around lately.”
Harry went on to explain about the conversation that he had just had with Snape about where the conversation was to take place. Once everyone was clear on what was happening they separated and got ready for the day ahead.
Harry decided to annoy Draco and keep on the clothes he was wearing while Draco decided to raid Harry’s closet and steal some clothes from him. Remus got cleaned up and tossed on his normal attire and then decided to read some more of Harry’s journal. The elder Malfoys took their time cleaning up and helped each other do their hair. When they felt they looked presentable enough, they traveled back downstairs and talked in the sitting room. Harry and Draco decided to join Dray’s parents after they had an argument over their clothing. Eventually lunch rolled around and Harry headed upstairs as everyone else headed to the dining room.
Lunch passed by with a tense air hanging above everybody. Remus and the elder Malfoys were wondering what Harry had to say while Harry and Draco were worried how everyone was going to react. Severus could barely eat no matter how bland the food and no matter how much Harry coaxed him, he was just too nervous about seeing everyone. After Harry finished eating what he could, he cast a cleaning spell on Severus and helped him sit at the end of the bed.
“I know the spell doesn’t make you feel all that clean but we need Mme. Pomfrey’s okay before you can take a bath.”
Severus not wanting to make Harry mad, simply nodded his head and sat still waiting for further instruction. Harry walked over to the armoire and grabbed some of the clothes out of it. It was a white button down shirt and black slacks with a pair of socks and pants.
I took these from your room and had the house-elves wash them. Do you want to wear them or do you want me to go grab some other clothes from someone else?”
“Those are fine.”
“Okay, let’s start with the shirt.”
Harry laid the clothes down on the bed next to Severus and picked up the shirt. He helped Severus get his arms into the sleeves and then he buttoned it up for him. Now came the real challenge. How to get his pants and slacks on?
“Severus I’m going to remove your sleep pants now.”
Severus started to shake and curl into himself at the mere thought of another man seeing him naked. Harry knelt down in front of him and carefully removed the sleep pants. Once they were off Harry quickly helped Severus into his pants, which helped to calm Severus down somewhat and then Harry helped pull on the slacks and he buttoned and zipped them up for Severus. Unfortunately, Harry’s hand accidentally brushed against Severus’ groin as he was buttoning up the slacks and Severus drew into himself. He started to shake and mutter incoherently with only the words “no” and “father” truly being understood.
Harry did not know what to do so he climbed up onto the bed and gathered Severus up into his arms for the second time that day. Once again, he started to rock back and forth while singing, hoping that it would work like all the times before.
“Like a bird without wings
That longs to be flying,
Like a motherless child
Left lonely and crying.
Like a song without words,
Like a world without music,
I wouldn’t know what to do
I’d be lost without you
Watchin’ over me.”
Here Harry stopped and looked at the man in his arms. Severus was still curled up as much as possible and shaking but he also looked like he was listening. Unsure of what to do next Harry continued with the song.
“You’re my guardian angel
My light and my guide
Your hand on my shoulder
And you by my side.
You make everything beautiful,
You make me complete.
Everything in my world
I lay at your feet.”
Harry decided to finish with the song even though Severus had stopped shaking and was now uncurling from his early position. This song wasn’t just about making Severus feel safe but also telling him how important he was to him and that no matter what happened Harry would always need and be there for him.
“Like a church with no steeple,
Where a bell never rings.
In a town without people,
Where no voice in the choir ever sings.
If a boat on the ocean
Would be lost with no sail,
Then without your devotion
Surely all that I dreamed of would fail.”
As Harry neared the end of the song, he started to slow down and stopped rocking. He held Severus close to him letting him feel the comfort and care he was trying to portray.
"Like a song without words
Like a world without music,
I wouldn’t know what to do
I’d be lost without you
Watchin’ over me"
Right before Harry sung the last words of the song he made sure Severus was looking him straight in the eyes and could see the sincerity of what he was about to say.
"I wouldn’t know what to do
I’d be lost without you
Watchin’ over me.”
Severus was overcome by the emotions and was not sure what to do. His father would have beaten him to the edge of consciousness for showing such a weak emotion and yet Harry seemed to want it. What do I do? It all became too much for him and tears began to run down his cheeks. Harry simply pulled him close and let him rest his head on his shoulder. Harry remained absolutely quiet throughout Severus’ breakdown and when he was done all Harry did was help him put his socks on.
Now that Severus was fully dressed Harry helped him into his sitting room and onto the black leather love seat that they would be sharing. Once Severus was settled, Harry went over to the door and called for the others to come on in. Everyone had been waiting anxiously out in the hall and they truly wanted to hear what Harry had to say or in Draco’s case wanted to see how his parents reacted.
Once everyone was seated, the Malfoys on a couch, Remus in an armchair, and Harry and Severus on the loveseat, the conversation started. At first Harry talked briefly about the Dursleys, leaving out most of the details. Most of what Harry talked about Remus and Draco already knew about. The other three were shocked. One common thought ran through all of their heads. How could Dumbledore let his Golden Boy live like this? Once Harry was done with talking about the Dursleys he explained about Dumbledore denying Marvolo a chance to leave the orphanage and his own chat with the Diary Marvolo in second year. This time only the fact that Harry and Diary Marvolo were friends truly shocked anyone, they all had already known about the orphanage.
“Now that you know the background information I’m going to tell you some new and more interesting stuff. Hopefully with this information we can change the war.”
Harry went on to tell what sounded like a fairy tale about a prince and a princess. There was the classic love at first sight and the traditional obstacles to overcome. Yet love prevailed. Of course the prince and princess spent a hot and steamy night of passion together in which they went multiple rounds and then they fell asleep in each other’s naked and loving embrace. Unfortunately, this does not have a fairy tale ending. The prince felt that for whatever reason he should leave the princess and so before she could wake up that morning he was gone. When Harry got to this point of the story Lucius felt the need to interrupt in the most annoying drawl.
“As nice as this child’s tale is Mr. Potter I do believe we are here to discuss the war, not write a novel?”
“If you let me finish you will see how it relates to the war, thank you very much.”
Severus by this point was being overwhelmed by the number of people, most of whom were male, and by the now tenser environment. Remus saw Severus starting to panic and decided to calm down the situation.
“Harry why don’t you continue on with the story.”
“As I was saying the prince left.”
They story continued on to say how the princess went into a deep depression due to the prince’s leaving and how she neglected herself until one day she found out a great joy. She was pregnant. She started to look after herself again and hoped that the babe would be just like its father. Nine months after the price left the babe was born. As soon as the princess looked at it she banished it from her kingdom. The only thing the babe had inherited from its father was its fair skin. It had its mother’s emerald eyes and its hair was a mystery to everyone. Maybe one of its father’s parents had copper hair. It did not matter the baby girl was a disappointment and as such it would never know it’s true heritage or so the princess thought.
“As you may or may not have guessed, that was not a fairy tale it was the story of my grandparents and my mother’s birth. She was placed in the Evan’s household, who had just lost a child to miscarriage, and their memories were changed by the “princess’s” people so that she wouldn’t search for her birth parents.”
Surprisingly enough it was Narcissa that asked the first questions while the men still processed the other information.
“Who is the “princess” and how do you know all this?”
“The princess was from a small clan of magic users in the United States. She committed suicide after giving up my mum. I know all this because my mum used a heritage potion after learning that in muggle born families the oldest usually have the most power. Petunia had none. After learning her true parents’ names she searched out her mum and learned what she could from the clan.”
Lucius was quick to jump on what he thought to be a flaw and asked how the princess could possibly be from the colonies.
“Simple grandfather traveled there on business and the Evans were there to see a special doctor since they kept miscarrying, they came back here once they had my mum.”
Draco decided to force Harry into saying what he had been avoiding this whole time and asked the million-galleon question.
“Who’s your grandfather?”
If looks could kill, Harry was giving a Snape style glare straight at Draco. The oddest part with that being that Snape was sitting next to Harry looking like Neville Longbottom trying to face a pack of Bogarts without a wand.
“My grandfather’s name is Tom Marvolo Riddle.”
A/N: Songs are not mine, “I Will be There for You” by Jessica Andrews and “A Bird Without Wings” by Celtic Thunder.
Chapter 13: Chapter 13: Reactions
Lucius flew out of his seat. “How dare you! What kind of joke…”
“Mr. Malfoy I assure you that I am not playing a joke and everything I have said is the truth.” Harry said as he stood up.
“Lucius please just sit down. Mr. Potter’s story does seem quite…farfetched yet I believe he may be telling the truth.”
After Narcissa calmed down her husband Harry looked at Remus. This was the reaction he was worried the most about. Only as he looked towards Remus’ seat he noticed that Remus wasn’t there. What had happened? Had Remus decided to leave him? Was he going right now to tell Dumbledore? As the thoughts ran through his head Harry continued to scan the room.
Draco was still sitting with his parents and looking worried, Snape was… There’s Remus! Remus was kneeling in front of Snape who was curl up on his half of the loveseat. He was right at Harry’s feet this whole time! He was also trying to calm Snape down after Lucius’ outburst. Harry quickly decided to help him out.
Harry sat back down next to Severus and started to calmly talk to him.
“Severus, Severus, please look at me. Come on. Look. At. Me.”
Slowly Severus lifted his head up off of his knees and looked over to Harry. He was waiting seeing what would happen now. He didn’t care if the Dark Lord was or wasn’t Harry’s grandfather. All he cared about right now was that Lucius was mad and he was looking in this direction. Remus had been talking to him but he had lied to him before, Harry hadn’t at least not about anything that had a detrimental effect on his wellbeing. He needed someone to trust and right now Harry was the best option.
“Yes, but not at you. Lucius thinks I’m lying so he’s mad at me. You are not in trouble. Nobody is going to hurt you. I will protect you, as will the others. Do you want everyone to leave?”
Severus thought about what was being said. Lucius isn’t mad at me. Harry will protect me. Do I want them to leave? Harry will protect me.
“Ok but if you change your mind just let us know.”
Remus saw that the situation was being handled and that he was no longer needed went back to his own seat. Everyone else was unsure of how to proceed. Lucius felt bad for upsetting his friend even though he would never admit it and was now wary of upsetting him more. Narcissa and Draco had never seen Severus like this, it was…disturbing to say the least. Harry broke the mounting tension by getting them back on track.
“How can I prove to you that I am a Riddle?”
Everyone thought on this, what could prove his story? Narcissa was the first to come up with a solution.
“Lucius you will go to the Dark Lord and ask him if he has ever been to the states.”
When it looked like the Malfoy family head was going to object Narcissa continued.
“If he asks why you can tell him we were thinking about taking a vacation there and are asking around about any good sights to see.”
Now it was Remus’ turn to object.
“What if he lies?”
Now this was a tricky question. It wasn’t like you could make a Dark Lord take Veritaserum. This time Draco answered.
“Umm… couldn’t we just brew another heritage potion?”
Professor Snape answered Draco as if they were in class. If you weren’t looking at him, you would never be able to tell how frightened he looked or the fact that he was still curled up.
“The common heritage potion and the one I’m hypothesizing that Lily used, takes three days to brew but will only tell you the name of your parents, their siblings and any siblings you have. The less common version takes three weeks to brew and will tell you the same as the first as well as grandparents, their siblings and any cousins you have. There is one other heritage potion that takes three months and will give you as close to a complete family tree as you can get.”
Everyone was amazed at how much Severus had said. That is until Harry started to laugh.
“Ha, figures it would be potions that would get you to talk. Oh well. I’m just glad you’re talking. So we would have to brew this potion for three weeks. Huh seem like a long time to me.”
Even the Malfoys had to nod their heads in silent agreement. What else could they do?
“Ask him about San Francisco Peaks in Arizona see if he reacts. This is where my Grandmother’s clan resides.”
Lucius decided he had enough of the Potter brat bossing him around and in an effort not to scare Severus he got up slowly and talked in a level voice.
“I will take my leave now and go request an audience with the Dark Lord. If you will all excuse me.”
After everyone even a wary Severus had bid him farewell Lucius left the room and headed to the floo. Narcissa excused herself and headed to her room to freshen up before dinner with Draco following her example. Remus came over to Harry and Severus and went back to kneeling. After checking to make sure that the two would be okay on their own and that they didn’t need anything he stood back up and left. Harry put his arm around Severus and started to talk to him in a soothing voice.
“That was pretty wild huh? It could have been worse; they could have all just stormed out of here. What do you think about it all?”
Severus started to worry that it was a trick question. That is until he remembered what Harry had said. He will protect me. He wouldn’t try and trick me if he’s protecting me.
“I think you’re telling the truth. I think they will realize it too after a little time has passed.”
“Thank you Severus. I’m glad to hear that. I will admit that I was worried about everyone’s reactions. Draco had to talk me into even having this conversation. I’m glad that this conversation went better than I expected. Now then why don’t we eat dinner?”
Dinner was a simple affair for the two men. They had mixed vegetables, mashed potatoes, and a cold turkey sandwich with tea and water. Dinner was held in Severus’ sitting room and afterwards Harry carried Severus back to his bedroom. Getting Severus into a pair of clean pajama bottoms was another challenge to be faced that day. This time Harry took extreme caution while helping Severus change and made sure his hands did not touch Severus inappropriately. After tucking Severus in, Harry turned to leave only to be stopped by a tentative plea.
“Of course Severus but you must be tired after everything that happened. Do you want to talk or do you want me to stay only until you fall asleep?”
Severus looked extremely nervous. It had been a spur of the moment request and now he was frightened that Harry would think him weak. What should I do? I can’t tell him the truth he would hate me. If I lie and he finds out he’ll get mad. Oh why did I have to say anything? Severus looked down at his lap and did not answer.
Harry sat down on the bed facing Severus and peeled his hands away from the sheets and held them firmly in his own.
“Severus, please just tell me what you want. I promise to help you and not judge.”
After another minute of self-debate Severus finally answered.
“I want you to sleep here tonight.”
“Oh ok… um not that I have a problem with it but why?”
“I… I have nightmares… and you… you make me feel safe. And Lucius is angry, and, and I…”
“Ok Severus, remember Lucius is not angry at you. You are safe. If me staying here will help you feel better, then I will happily stay. Just let me go get changed and then I’ll be back.”
Severus merely nodded his head as Harry stood up and left for his own room. Once in his own room with the door locked Harry quickly cast a silencing charm. Desperately he let his trousers and pants fall to the ground while he started to rub his erection.
He could not stop thinking about it. The feel of his hand brushing against Severus’ cock, the feel of Severus wrapped in his arms. His hand started to move faster as he allowed himself to rub the tip with his thumb. As he groaned, he thought about how wrong it was to think about these things and yet he could not help it. When he had seen Severus without his pants on he was immediately aroused. He had looked so shy and helpless, just begging to be taken care of and protected. Harry brought his other hand down to play with his balls. Soon he was moaning out in pleasure as he came. “Sev’rus.”
Once Harry came down from his orgasm, he felt horrible. Severus trusted him. He wanted him to spend the night with him and yet here he was wanking to images of him naked and vulnerable. Harry quickly cast a cleaning spell on himself and the mess he had made before preparing for bed. Before heading back to Snape’s room Harry made sure to leave a note for Draco in case he decided to stop by again. When Harry entered Severus’ room, he noticed that Severus was shaking and looking at his lap again.
“I don’t have to stay here if you don’t want me to.”
“No! Please stay. I’m just…”
Harry just nodded in understanding and moved to help Severus use the loo one final time before retiring for the night. After getting Severus settled back in bed, Harry transfigured the chair next to Severus’ bed into a cot and laid down. The next few minutes were filled with a tense silence, until Harry Nox-ed the lights and started to softly sing Severus to sleep.
“Over in Killarney
Many years ago,
Me Mother sang a song to me
In tones so sweet and low.
Just a simple little ditty,
In her good old Irish way,
And l'd give the world if she could sing
That song to me this day.
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby.’
Oft in” –Yawn- “dreams I wander
To that cot again,
I feel her arms a-huggin' me
As when she held” -YAWN- “ me then.
And I hear her voice a -hummin'
To me as in days of yore,
When she used to rock me fast asleep
Outside the cabin” -YAWNNN- “door.”
By the end of the song, Severus was fast asleep and Harry was following swiftly after. Soon Narcissa put down the charms book she had been skimming through, Draco stopped playing with the Game Boy that ‘Mione had given him, and Remus put down Harry’s journal. The three went to their rooms and got ready for bed before turning in for the night.
Towards the middle of the night Severus started to thrash around and whimper in his sleep. Harry woke after one particularly loud whimper and climbed into the bed. Holding Severus close and stroking the sleeping man’s hair seemed to calm him. As Severus slow started to calm and fall into a more peaceful sleep, Harry started to nod off next to him. Today had been one hectic day for everyone at Atra Bilis Domus.
Chapter 14: Chapter 14: Lucius’ Lover
Sorry for the delay! The past few weeks have been extra hectic.
After flooing away from the Potter brat’s house, Lucius stalked down the entranceway of Gaunt Manor. Where there once was a decrepit house filled with the scent of decay and mold now stood a strong manor with a clean new air about it and a fresh new look. After his resurrection Marvolo had the house cleaned out, warded and expanded. It now truly looked like the manor it was supposed to be. Upon reaching the oak door at the end of the hallway on the third floor, Lucius knocked.
Behind the oak door lay a grand bedroom done in earthy tones. In the center of which was a dark oak bed overflowing with pillows and silk sheets. Marvolo was lounging on the window seat looking out over the village that lay below. Lucius stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him. As soon as the door was shut both men visible relaxed. They may be forced to uphold certain roles out in public but here in private they could be themselves.
Lucius gently pulled Marvolo over to the bed and curled up on top of the covers in the cave of pillows with him. Both men were silent; Lucius’ reason for coming could wait a little while longer. For now, they simply wanted to be together.
When they were in private Marvolo was allowed to show weakness and need, he was allowed to depend on someone else. Lucius was allowed to assert his dominance and tell Marvolo out right when he thought a plan was foolhardy. Marvolo was a submissive by nature and being forced to act as if he was a dominant person took its toll on him. Lucius hated watching his submissive suffer in a situation that he could not help solve. He was a Malfoy! Anything he wanted he was supposed to receive and yet the one thing he wanted the most he could not have, Marvolo’s hand in marriage.
Narcissa’s and his marriage had been arranged long before Lucius had met Marvolo and without Lord Black’s blessing, a divorce would shame Narcissa. Lucius was too much of a friend to wish that on her.
“My son is friends with the Potter boy.”
“My Own, Severus was attacked by his father. He was beaten and raped. Potter found him and is currently taking care of him. Draco received a fire-call yesterday and we all floo-ed over to Potter’s manor. It seems Draco and Potter became friends last year over Christmas break. It seems the youngest Weasley boy along with two others attacked Draco and tried to take compromising photos. Potter and Ganger saved him, becoming friends by the end of the year.”
Lucius continued to tell everything that had happened in the past 24 or so hours, including his visit with Severus, Potter and Draco swapping clothes and then the conversation in Severus’ sitting room. He started with Harry’s abuse and Dumbledore’s manipulation. When he finished telling about Potter’s relationship with Diary Marvolo, the current Marvolo had to interrupt.
“I didn’t know. I had no idea that we had become so close. When he destroyed the diary that piece of my soul was returned to me but there were no memories attached to it. What else did he say?”
“You are being disrespectful, My Own. Do I need to punish you?”
“No Dominus, I am sorry. Please continue when you are ready.”
“Very well My Own, I have a question for you. Have you ever been to America?”
“When and where?”
“It was many, many years ago at least 15, maybe even 20 years before I lost my body. I visited Arizona hoping to learn some of their unique magic.”
Lucius then told Marvolo all about Harry’s grandmother and his claim that Marvolo was his grandfather. By the time Lucius finished Marvolo was stunned silent. Lucius did not like the way things were turning out. Marvolo was supposed get mad and deny the claim, not act guilty on all accounts.
“It’s true. All of it. Her name was Willow and I believed that I loved her. I left her that night thinking I was protecting her. She was too innocent to be involved in the war; I just wanted to protect her. When I got back to the U.K. the war started to become even more intense. I told myself I would go back for her when everything settled down some. Eventually I figured that I had been gone too long and she would not want me anymore maybe she had even started a family. I soon lost my body.”
“My Own, why did you never check up on her?”
“Before I lost my body I was afraid of leading the enemy to her. Afterwards I did send someone. I had told the man not to go into the clan, for fear of causing trouble; instead he just did surveillance around the clan looking for any sign of her. He reported back that she was nowhere to be found. I figured she must have moved out of the clan and I decided to leave her alone. By this time, I had started to realize my feelings for you and wanted to put my past behind me.”
Both men were silent for a few moments. Lucius could not believe what he was hearing, he always had known that Marvolo was bisexual and that he had dated women in the past but this was much more. Marvolo was afraid that his Dom, his lifeline, was going to leave him after learning this new information. Marvolo was also thinking about the fact that he had killed his own daughter and her husband, the mother of his daughter had committed suicide, and he had tried on multiple occasions to kill his grandson. After a few minutes to process this information it became too much and Marvolo had silent tears running down his cheeks.
Lucius saw his Sub’s pain and pulled him close. He might have been confused as to why such an important part of his Submissive’s life was never mentioned but that wasn’t important right now. Right now, he had to comfort his Sub and get his mind off the horrors of the past.
******LM/TR SLASH SCENE******LM/TR SLASH SCENE******
Lucius pressed his lips roughly against Marvolo’s and rolled on top of him. Now wasn’t the time for tender loving, no Lucius was going to reclaim Marvolo as his. Lucius pulled both of his arms up to the headboard and held them there with one of his own. Marvolo had been in this position many times before and decided not to struggle this time; he wanted it hard, he wanted it fast, he wanted it as only Lucius could give him.
With his free hand Lucius grabbed his wand out of the cane resting on the bedside table. He quickly cast disrobing spells on them both and then cast a lubrication spell causing Marvolo to gasp out at the cold slick feeling. After casting the spells, the wand was tossed aside, and Lucius started making love bites all down Marvolo’s neck, he released Marvolo’s hands, and continued down his chest. Marvolo kept his hands in position waiting for his Dom’s permission before making any movement.
“You beg so nicely, My Own. Tell me what it is that you want.”
“Your cock. Please! I need it in me. I need it. Dominus!”
“Spread your legs. You may touch me now.”
Lucius quickly shoved a finger into Marvolo’s tight arse making sure he was ready to take him. It would be painful. Right now was about reclaiming and punishment, not love and comfort. Without further preparation Lucius thrust fully in, stopping only a moment before he started to roughly pound his submissive into the bed. Marvolo held on tightly to his beloved Dom’s shoulders as he was swept away by the mix of pleasure and pain. Soon both men felt their pleasure building to a climax and Lucius decided to be a forgiving Lord and Master.
“Cum for me My Own. CUM NOW!”
As Lucius felt his partner’s arse tighten around him he let himself go flooding Marvolo with his seed.
***LM/TR SLASH SCENE END***LM/TR SLASH SCENE END***
Marvolo summoned his wand to him and cast cleaning spells on them both making sure his Dominus was immaculate. He then summoned a house-elf and had dinner brought up for them both. Neither man spoke while they ate. There was nothing to say. All was forgiven and now they had to figure out what to do next.
Lucius had a house-elf bring Marvolo a pain potion and a healing lotion to help with the tearing, although some discomfort was left as a reminder. After Marvolo was healed the men laid back down in bed and fell asleep safe in each other’s arms. Today had brought many answers and many new questions. Though only one question stayed on Marvolo’s mind as he fell asleep; how do I get my grandson back?
Chapter 15: Chapter 15: Lucius’ Lord
As the sun rose and birds began to sing, a very irritated Dark Lord was trying to convince his lover to take him to his grandson.
“Please Dominus! I need to explain to him that I did not know. I need to make amends. I tried to kill him!”
“I already explained this to you. They believe that I only asked if you have ever been to America. They don’t know that I told you the whole story.”
“She might suspect it and she wouldn’t have told the others, even Draco.”
The ‘discussion’ continued for close to a half an hour when finally, Marvolo had a breakthrough. He might be the submissive in the bedroom but when it came to the war, he was still the Lord of All. Therefore, as Lucius’ Lord he commanded him to bring him to Harry Potter. Lucius was not pleased but gave his consent after asking a few vital questions.
“I was only supposed to ask you about America. Exactly how are we going to explain you finding out the truth?”
“We will tell them that I used Veritaserum on you. Because ummm…”
“Because of the fact that my family taking a vacation during a war is highly suspicious.”
“Yes that sounds reasonable enough.”
After sorting out their cover story, they had to sort out how Marvolo would look. Currently he was around the age of 30 with dark brown hair that flowed down to his shoulders, crimson eyes that seemed to reflect his emotions if only people cared to look, and pale skin that made him look almost fragile. Other than these distinctive features Tom Marvolo Riddle looked like a normal man if not a little on the skinny side. He could either go see his grandson as he was now or put a glamour on and go as he was before, all green, no nose, and snake like. If he went as he currently was, it could cause a greater shock to his grandson but if he wore the glamour his grandson might not give him the chance to explain and just attack on sight.
“Dominus, with your permission I would like to go as I am. I think it would give us a few more moments to explain.”
“Very well My Own. Although I must insist that you get changed and that we eat breakfast.”
Breakfast was a somber affair with both people worrying how the day was going to play out. After both men were done they checked that they were cleaned up, properly dressed, and had their story straight. Once they were ready Marvolo placed his glamour on in case there were any low-level death eaters around and they headed down to the floo.
Chapter 16: Chapter 16: A Visitor
As the sun rose and birds began to sing, only two people were stirring inside Atra Bilis Domus. Harry had woken up wrapped around Severus’ back. He decided to relax a while longer and enjoy the feeling of another body pressed against him.
As Harry was basking, Severus had woken up. He needed to go to the bathroom. More importantly, there was a body pressed up against his back and something was poking at him. He did not think it was the person’s wand. As he lay there slowly working himself up into a panic yesterday’s events came rushing back to him. The person behind him was not just some random body. It was Harry. Harry who promised to protect him. Severus slowly turned around.
“I need to use the loo.”
After going through their morning routine Harry helped Severus out into the sitting room and together they shared a breakfast of eggs, toast, and yogurt with fruit. Once the plates were cleared away Harry started a conversation.
“Is there anything you would like to do today? You can’t leave these rooms until Madam Pomfrey clears you but I could bring you a book to read or something.”
“When can Poppy come?”
“She didn’t really give a day. She just said to contact her. I was thinking of asking her to check you after you could walk on your own a little better. Do you want her to come earlier?”
“That is fine.”
“So is there anything you want to do?”
“A book would be fine.”
Harry made sure that Severus comfortable before heading down to the library. On his way, he said good morning to Draco and reassured him that Professor Snape was doing better. Afterwards, he stopped in his room and did a quick change into something more appropriate than his pajamas. As he headed down to the library, he found Remus and stopped walking.
“Hey Remus can I talk to you for a second?”
Remus stopped walking and turned around and smiled, His pup hadn’t forgotten about him.
“What do you need Harry?”
“First off I want to say, I’m sorry. I show up at your doorstep and then I drag you off to save Sn-Professor Snape and now you're stuck here and I barely get to talk to you.”
Remus did not miss Harry’s correction and was proud that his pup was showing respect towards Professor Snape. He also was sad to see his pup so upset because of him. He would never blame his pup for doing what was right.
“Harry there is nothing to forgive. I understand everything. If we had stayed at Grimmauld, Severus would have stayed at his father’s and we both know that is not a good thing.”
“That leads me to the other things I wanted to discuss. Why did Severus stay with his father? Why is he so different from Professor Snape? Why isn’t he snapping at me and calling me names?”
When Harry finally ran out of breath, Remus started to answer his questions.
“Harry you have to understand what you are seeing now is the real Severus or at least closer to him than the Professor Snape you knew at school was. Severus had no way of leaving his father. Not only had Dumbledore threatened him, he had nowhere to go.”
“He had the Malfoys!”
Tell me Harry if I were married and had a child would you have come to live with me or would you have stayed with the Dursleys? Those are the only options you have.”
Harry stared at Remus with wide eyes. He had never really thought about it.
“I…I would have…I would have stayed there.”
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Severus has suffered greater abuse, for a longer period of time. There was no escape in his mind. And, Harry? You could never be a burden. You can always come to me.”
“Ok. Ummm…You still haven’t answered my other questions.”
Remus took a second to remember the questions and think of how to best answer them.
“Well Professor Snape learned that if you showed the slightest weakness inside Hogwarts it would be exploited. I would think that at one point he saw Hogwarts as his safe haven same as you, but then the Marauders and Dumbledore changed that. The best I can tell he learned that he had to be strong in front of others so that they wouldn’t take advantage of him. I think in a way this answer your last question as well. You saw him at his weakest and didn’t use it against him. He no longer has to be strong around you. You have at least some of his trust. Now you just have to be careful to keep it.”
Harry nodded and looked pensive for a moment before speaking again.
“Thanks Remmy! We’ll have to talk again soon.”
As Harry rushed to the library, Remus chuckled and casually walked off to find Narcissa. She was quite the conversationalist.
Finally, Harry made it down to the library and started to look through the books. What one would Severus like most? I know he likes potions and DADA but which of these has he already read? Would he like any of these other books? As Harry continued to scan the book titles, he remembered one that Severus was sure to love.
It was a new book, but the information it held was ancient. Harry decided to bring it and two other books up with him. One was a book on misfired spells and their correction and the other was a mystery/adventure novel.
“Hey hope you didn’t mind the wait. I saw Remus and Draco on the way to the library and they wanted me to wish you a good morning. I did not see Lady Malfoy…Huh she must have been still getting ready or somethin’. Anyway, afterwards I got changed and found you three books that I hope will interest you. If you don’t like’um just tell me and I’ll get you something else.”
As Severus looked through the books he was riveted by what he found, Salazar Slytherin’s potions journal. Yet as he carefully started to look through it, he noticed that the handwriting was oddly familiar.
“You wrote this.”
“Not quite. I translated it. All of his books were written in Parseltongue. I grabbed a few out of the Chamber of Secrets, without really looking at what was in them and I translated them. I’m not sure if those potions work or if there are more potion journals but feel free to read that one and make any notes that you want.”
Harry just nodded his head and went to sit down with the mystery/adventure novel. As they were reading, someone knocked on the door. Severus startled and Harry looked up as if he could see the person. Turning to look at Severus Harry silently asked his permission to open the door. As soon as Severus nodded, Harry was out of his seat and at the door. Their visitor, was none other than Draco. He looked quite worried and was shifting restlessly from foot to foot.
Leaning against the doorframe, Harry smiled at the nervous young man and tried to calm him down with words.
“Dray, it’s ok. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“My father is back. He just flooed in. He wants your permission to have another floo in as well. I do not know who it is. I fear the worse. What if he told the Dark Lord? What if they are going to try and kill you? Wha…”
“DRACO! The wards will not allow harm to come to me. I will be down in a moment to open the floo. Please do not fret so much. It will all work out.”
It did not matter how many times Harry told someone else those words because right now he was afraid. He knew that the wards would protect him but what about the others? What about Remus and Severus and Draco? Even Lord and Lady Malfoy? He did not want to see them hurt or worse.
As Harry knelt down in front of Severus, he explained the conversation that had just taken place. He also gave Severus two options. Option one, stay where he was and everyone would come up and have the conversation up here. Option two, stay here the conversation would take place down stairs and then Harry would come up and tell him what had happened. Personally, Harry preferred option two; at least one person would be safe.
Severus was torn. Option one meant having a say but it also meant facing an unknown person. Option two meant being left here to wonder but also to be safe and not have to face the unknown and an angry Lucius. Being a Slytherin Severus thought of a compromise.
“Is there any way you can let me know who it is before I decide?”
“Of course, I shall have Remus send his Patronus with a message. All you have to do is tell it your answer.”
“That sounds reasonable.” With that, Harry headed out the door to see what lay ahead.
Chapter 17: Chapter 17: Arrival
Everyone was gathered in the sitting room as Harry walked in he turned towards Lord Malfoy. “Hello Lord Malfoy. I understand you have a guest who wishes to floo in. You have to understand that I am concerned for the safety of my guests so I need to know who it is.”
“Mr. Potter, he wishes you no harm. He merely wishes to talk to you about the recent developments.”
“You told him!” Surprisingly it was Remus that shouted out.
“He used Veritaserum as he found my story to be suspicious.”
“How much does he know?” This time Draco spoke out. He feared what the Dark Lord would do to Harry.
“He unfortunately discovered the whole truth, including the fact that Severus is here.”
There was a moment of silence as everyone processed this new information. Harry turned around and started to walk out of the room.
“Just where are you going, Mr. Potter?”
“I’ll be back in a moment. I need to discuss this with Snape…”
“Professor Snape!” This time both Remus and Narcissa corrected.
“I told Professor Snape I would let him know who your guest was. I planned on using a Patronus but I think it best if I go and speak with him in person instead.”
With that, Harry walked out of the room and headed upstairs to Snape’s bedroom. Lucius decided that Marvolo might be getting worried so he floo-ed back to the manor and explained the situation. The others just sat in the sitting room unsure of what to do.
Harry made sure to knock and wait for Severus’ come in, knowing that the potion master had not been expecting a human to show up. When Harry entered the room, he could see the worry etched on Severus’ face. He had not moved from his position on the loveseat and he was wringing his hands and clearly waiting for Harry to start talking.
“I haven’t allowed Lucius’ guest through yet. I wanted your opinion first. It’s the Dark Lord.”
At this proclamation, Severus looked startled and frightened. What if he wants to hurt Harry? What if he takes me away? I don’t want to leave. Seeing Severus’ obvious distress, Harry sat down next to him and started to reassure him. He said things like, you’re safe, I won’t let anyone hurt you, everything is going to work out, on and on he went.
“Severus, the reason I came up here to tell you is that I want to discuss all the options with you, including some new ones. We could just not let him through. There is no way for him to force his way in. The wards are too strong for that. Or we could ambush him as he comes through and… ummm.”
As Severus looked at Harry with his infamous raised eyebrow, Harry decided to rethink his last idea.
“Ok so choices are, not let him through, I talk to him downstairs and tell you what happens, or everyone comes up here and we all talk in here. What one do you like the most?”
After his outburst Severus fell silent, embarrassed. Harry was momentarily startled and then he smiled. Severus was starting to loosen up and speak out. It was a good sign.
“We’ll have it in here. I’ll go and fetch the others. Oh, and Severus? It’s going to be ok; I won’t let anything bad happen. I will protect you.”
With those words Harry got up and left to get the others, leaving a stunned potions master in his wake. He said it again. I will protect you. Why does he care so much about me? I’m just a worthless freak. I don’t deserve to be cared for. Mummy died because she loved me. I couldn’t protect Lily. Why does he want to protect me? What does he see in me? Severus’ thoughts continued to run in circles, over and over again, pushing him to the edge of despair and frustration.
Downstairs Harry was waiting for his grandfather to step through the floo. Lucius had just returned and with Harry’s permission told Marvolo to come through. The meeting was anti-climactic; there were no spells, no yelling, and no happy reunion. After asking that all conversation wait until they reached Severus’ room, Harry led the way upstairs.
When Harry led his guest into Severus’ sitting room, they all saw a broken man. Severus was crying, curled up on the floor softly rocking back and forth. After a moment of stunned silence, Remus ushered the others out and made sure that Harry did not need his help. Harry simple looked at Remus and shook his head. He had to do this alone.
Harry slowly made his way over to the broken man and sat down next to him. He realized know that Severus was hiding things from him. Something had pushed him to this point and it was up to Harry to figure out what. The only problem left was, how? Harry’s abuse had been mild compared to what Severus had gone through but he needed to get him to talk and so he would.
“Severus? What are you thinking right now? Are you worried about seeing Marvolo? Or maybe it’s about what happened with your father? Please tell me Severus. It’s the only way I can help you.”
Severus just continued to rock unaffected by Harry’s presence. Harry was becoming frustrated now and had no idea what to do. Severus had broken down before but never like this. Would singing help? Is he even listening to me? Guess anything is worth a try by now. Harry had Simba bring him his guitar and started to sing.
“So here you are now, nowhere to turn
It's just the same old yesterday
And you made a promise to yourself
That you were never gonna be this way
And the only thing that you've ever known is to run
So you keep on driving faster into the sun
Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes
Don't have to find your own way out
You gotta voice, let it be heard
Just when it feels you're on a dead end road
There's always somewhere left to turn
So don't give up now
You're so close to a brand new day
Yes, you are and if you just can bear to be alone
Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes
Well, maybe I been too caught up to see
What you've been going through and all that I can say is
And everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes
Everybody needs somebody sometimes
A little left to save
Everybody needs somebody sometimes
Gotta have someone beside you
Gotta have someone beside you
Yes, ya do, yes, ya do
Everybody, everybody needs somebody sometimes”
When Harry had finished singing, he hoped that Severus understood what he was trying to convey. Harry had never been good with emotions, he had never learned how to express himself other than music and he hoped that it was enough. Severus had stopped rocking and was now waiting to see what would happen next. Harry decided to take advantage of Severus’ attentiveness and started to talk. He repeated the questions he had asked earlier all the while slowly moving his arm around Severus. He did not want to startle the broken man but at the same time, he felt like he had to offer some comfort.
At first when Harry settled his arm on Severus’ shoulders, he was as stiff as a board but slowly he started to relax. Once Severus had relaxed fully into Harry’s side he began to speak.
“I’m scared. I… I don’t want you to leave! What if he makes you leave…or what if he takes me away? I don’t want to go! I’m safe here. Father isn’t here and Lucius and you are.”
Severus started to become worked up again. It looked like another panic attack was imminent.
“Severus! You are going nowhere and neither am I! You are safe here and I will do whatever it takes to keep it that way. Your father is never and I mean NEVER going to hurt you again.”
Harry spoke with such force and conviction that Severus was slightly frightened but this was Harry and Harry had promised to protect him. Severus decided to open up about some other things that had been bothering him as well.
“I’m also afraid that this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up back at my F…There. I’m sick of pretending. I’m not Professor Snape! I’m not any of that!”
Sobs started to well up in Severus’ chest and he tried to cover it up by curling into himself but Harry would not let him. Harry pulled Severus closer and brought his other arm up in an attempt at a hug. Severus turned and started to cry into Harry’s shoulder. Harry held unto him and made calming noises. When Severus seemed to have calmed somewhat Harry placed a kiss on top of his head and started to speak.
“You don’t have to be him anymore. You don’t have to lie and pretend anymore. You can do and be whatever you want. If something stands in your way, I will help you overcome it. You are not alone anymore. There is not only me but the Malfoys, Remus and Poppy.”
Severus did not know what to say. No one had ever said such things to him before, never mind held him and kissed his head. He had memories of his mother protecting him as a child but as he grew older, she grew distant.
“I’m weak. I let a muggle hurt me. I let Dumbledore keep me there. I…”
“You are not weak! Do you think that you are the only wizard to have been abused by a muggle? My ‘family’ used to beat me, starve me, and mock me all the time. I didn’t do anything because I believed that I deserved it. It wasn’t until I meet the Weasleys, Hermione, and Remus that I learned how wrong I had been. Just this summer I got the courage to escape by going to Remus. I too listened to Dumbledore and his “it’s for the greater good yada yada yada” speech. Neither of us let things happen to us! We are not to blame! Please, I know it will take time but try to understand that.”
Harry was breathing heavily by the end of his rant but he also felt better. Sure, he had told Remus about the abuse but he had never talked about how he had felt like he deserved it. Now he realized, looking at Severus, that he could not help anything that had happened to him, same as Severus.
Severus was shocked. He had not expected such emotion, nor to learn that the Gryffindor Golden Boy was abused. He needed time to think but not now.
“I would like to continue on with the meeting now.”
“Are you sure? I mean it’s not a problem but you’re having a rough moment and, well, I don’t know, if you want to go back to bed or read or something that’s fine.”
“I need to hear what’s being said…please.”
Harry understood that this was what Severus wanted so he helped him back up onto the loveseat and cast a glamour on his eyes to hide the red puffiness from crying. Then Harry went to the door and found that everyone was waiting anxiously out in the hall even though their conversation had been at least 45 minutes long.
“He’s ok now so why don’t you all come in and have a seat so this discussion can start.”
Sorry for the delay! I am in the process of buying my first house and am very overwhelmed but I promise this is not abandoned :)
Chapter 19: Chapter 19: The Prophecy
Everyone slowly walked in trying not to startle the potion professor. Now came the problem; there was only six places to sit and seven people to seat. Harry sat next to Severus on the loveseat, Remus took the armchair, and the elder Malfoys and Marvolo took the couch with Lucius sitting in the middle. After looking around for a place to sit Draco just shrugged his shoulders and kneeled next to Harry, making sure to stay away from Severus. Lucius was surprised at his son’s choice; yes, he and Potter were friends but to kneel at his feet? He would have to talk to Draco later. Once everybody was settled the long awaited conversation begun.
Harry was the first to speak and he tried to keep his voice level and emotionless. No need for Marvolo to find out how frightened and worried he was right now.
“I was under the impression that Lord Malfoy was not to tell you the whole story? That being as it is I see no other reason for you to be here.”
Even though the veiled question was directed at Marvolo, Lucius answered.
“There was question over my family wanting to take a vacation so my Lord used Veritaserum. After it wore off, I told him anything he had not asked. It was my assumption that it would be better for him to have the full story rather than parts.”
“I can accept that. Do you have any questions?”
“Why does Dumbledore want me to kill you? Is it because of the prophecy?”
At this, Harry could not help but laugh. It was a deep and humorless laugh, making all of the adults in the room think he had finally lost his mind. Draco knew better. Draco knew the truth behind the prophecy.
“No, no it is not because of the made up prophecy. Rather it is because he found out that, you and I are related and that I am powerful. He did not want another who would oppose him.”
By now, the adults were flabbergasted. Marvolo was the first to recover enough to stutter out a reply.
“MmmMade UP? What the hell do you mean it is made up?!”
“Dumbledore needed a way to get you to attack and kill me. He knew that, contrary to popular belief, you are not a senseless killer, and would not come after me without reason, so he gave you one. I’m not sure how he got Trelawney to say the false prophecy but I do know that it wasn’t coincidence that Professor Snape overheard it. He wanted Severus to feel guilty so that he could later manipulate him easier.”
Silence once again reigned. Narcissa decided to speak up even if it meant agitating the upset teen even more.
“He didn’t plan on the spell rebounding.”
“No, something I have learned from Salazar’s journals is that a Parselmouth can’t kill another Parselmouth. It is a safeguard to protect against extinction.”
Severus had a question but was frightened by Harry’s obvious anger. He did not want that turned against him. Instead, he became frustrated. Harry felt Severus start to squirm and shift around next to him so he turned slightly to see what all the fuss was about. Using the softest, calmest voice he could muster under the circumstances, he asked what was wrong. Severus brought his knees up to his chest and replied in a whisper.
“I have a question.”
Harry now knew what the problem was. One of the first rules he had learned was not to ask questions. They only made people madder. Unfortunately, knowing the problem is not the same as knowing the solution. Therefore, Harry did the first thing that came to his mind. He gently pulled Severus into his side and hugged him. Once Severus saw that Harry was not getting mad he uncurled and started to calm down. Harry who had been watching Severus the whole time saw the change and rewarded it with a kiss on Severus’ temple. Afterward giving a small smile, Severus felt well enough to ask his question. Harry wouldn’t hurt me; Harry will protect me.
“Why wasn’t Lily a Parselmouth?”
“Well, you see women can’t speak Parseltongue they can only pass it on to future generations...ummm…like Merope passed it on to her son but couldn’t speak it. It also means she didn't have the immunity to death by Parselmouth.”
After that, the conversation took a lighter turn and a few more key issues were decided before lunch. Marvolo would stay at Atra Bilis Domus, returning to his manor only for meetings with his followers, Marvolo would also be staying in the bedroom next to Harry’s rooms. It was only a bedroom with bathroom attached but since he was the only one staying there, it was more than enough.
Once everything was decided on, it was time for lunch. Since Severus was not allowed out of his rooms yet and really had no desire to leave everyone just stayed where they were and Harry had Nala bring them something to eat right there. Draco ate out of Harry’s hand like a submissive gaining a variety of responses. Lucius’ was cautious about what it could mean for the Malfoy future, Narcissa was happy so long as her son was happy, Remus was surprised that Harry was being so dominant, Marvolo was envious, he wished he could be so open with his relationship, and Severus’ reaction was most surprising of all.
He was jealous. He did not quite understand why but he wanted to be the one Harry was feeding and the one kneeling. It was not right. He had no claim to do such things and yet all throughout lunch, the afternoon, dinner, and well into the evening he could not stop thinking about it.
That night he once again asked Harry to stay the night. He needed the calming presence as he tried to fall asleep.
Chapter 20: Chapter 20: The Talk II
The next morning chaos reigned at Atra Bilis Domus. Everybody had somebody they wished to talk to and that person often wished to talk to someone else, all in all everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Lucius wished to talk to his son about yesterday's behavior, but Draco wished to talk to Harry about bringing some of the others over, Harry had to talk to Marvolo, and Marvolo had to talk to Lucius. Remus also wanted to talk to Harry about his journal and Severus needed somebody to help him with these new feelings but he did not know whom.
Lucius cornered Draco while he was getting ready in the morning and asked a question that had been on his mind since yesterday's meeting.
"Are you Potter's submissive?"
"No father. I am a submissive but not Harry's, He is a Dom and we are comfortable with each other but we were not compatible that way. He did introduce me to my current Doms though."
Lucius was shocked and was to do much more then croak out another question.
"Yes, I have two of them. I can't tell you who they are yet so please don't ask."
Lucius just nodded his head as he tried to figure out who it could be.
"When were you in a relationship with Potter?"
"It was at school almost directly after I was attacked. Harry, Hermione and I had been spending a lot of time together and Harry noticed that I acted quite submissive to the both of them. Therefore, Harry took me under his wing and helped me become more comfortable in my submission. Now I had already known the base facts about BDSM from Aunt Bella's relationship but I always figured that if I entered into such a relationship I would be the Dom as is respectable for a Malfoy and to make sure our family name continues. Harry made me see that being a sub does not make me weak or any less respectable but rather gives me a new type of power and respect. Also my Doms have agreed that if this relationship becomes permanent they will take the Malfoy name."
"If there is one thing I will agree with Potter on it is that being a sub does not make you weak or any such thing. You have given me a great deal to think on, so for now I will leave you to finish getting ready."
With that, Lucius left and Draco finished getting ready before heading out to find Harry. Draco found Harry in his room pacing.
"What's got your panties all in a twist?"
"Severus was acting strange this morning. I need to talk to Marvolo about some stuff and I'm worried about the others."
"I can ask my Dad to talk to Uncle Sev if you want? Umm 'fraid I can't do much about your grandfather. As for the others, they are the reason I'm here. I want invite all the "light" children that we are friends with here so they will be safer. What do you think?"
Harry was quiet for a moment and then started to laugh uncontrollably. Draco was helpless to do anything other than wait for his friend to return to sanity.
"Sorry, Dray." Chuckle "It's just that…" Chuckle "You try and solve all my problems it’s great." chuckle "Really it is."
By the end of his speech, Harry had gained control of his laughter and now Draco looked slightly affronted. He had his nose in the air, his head turned slightly to the side, and his arms were crossed in front of his chest.
"I'm sorry, Dray. Really, please forgive me. We can invite the others over. I promise."
Draco rushed over to Harry and gave him a bear hug before leaving to ask his father to talk to Severus and to fire-call a few friends. Harry just chuckled some more and shook his head at the blonde’s antics before heading out to talk to Marvolo.
Meanwhile after leaving his son's room Lucius had gone in search of his wife and friend, Narcissa. He found her talking to Marvolo in their sitting. As soon as he entered, he started the conversation.
"Sorry to interrupt, Marvolo you are more than welcome to stay, but we need to discuss Draco."
At hearing this, Narcissa sighed and waved for her husband to sit down. After he was seated next to Marvolo, Lucius recounted his discussion with Draco. He was just wrapping up when a knock sounded on the door. Lucius let out an annoyed grunt before calling out for the interloper to enter. Draco opened the door a crack and peeked around the corner.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I was just talking to Harry and he says that Uncle Sev is acting strange and won't talk to him about it. We were hoping that Father would take care of it."
"Very well as soon as I finish up here. Now be gone with you."
Draco simple stuck out his tongue and ran off. With Draco gone the adults could finish their conversation. Narcissa stood by her earlier decision that it did not matter who her son was dating so long as he was happy and she made sure the two stubborn mules in the room understood that as well. Marvolo did not really have an opinion as it was not his brat and as long as Draco was not betraying him he did not care. Finally, Lucius realized there was nothing he could do but wait and see how it played out. As he stood up to leave Marvolo called him back saying that, they had one more, quick subject.
"Narcissa and I were discussing that now might be the time to tell Draco the full truth. He already knows that Narcissa and you are not in love but if we are all to live in the same house for the rest of the summer maybe he should know about us?"
What was meant to be a statement came out as a question, but it made Lucius think about it.
"I suppose you'll wish to inform the others as well. Very well next chance we get we will call everyone together and tell them… although I believe we should tell Draco beforehand. Now I really must be off."
After kissing his lover goodbye and hugging his wife, he went to see what was wrong with his friend. As all of this was occurring, Remus had sidetracked Harry and they were discussing some more of his journal. The most recent entries that Remus read spoke of a little boy who was punished for getting good grades and doing better than his cousin. While Remus was asking Harry about how this had affected his Hogwarts grades, Draco was inviting a small army of friends over to stay the summer. There was Ginny, Fred, George, Hermione, Luna, and Neville. As it was, all 10 bedrooms in the manor would now be full with Fred and George having to share a room and Luna and Ginny having to share a room.
Lucius who now sat beside his friend in the potion master's living room was making small talk when Severus blurted out his problem.
Chapter 21: Chapter 21: Jealousy
Lucius was stunned. Why would his friend be jealous of Draco? Was it something he had done? No, no he didn’t think so. So why?
“Why are you jealous of my son? Is it something he has that you want?”
“Severus, I am your friend, am I not? Trust me I will not betray your confidence.”
“I…It’s…I’m not sure. Last night I was thinking about it and I realized that I wanted to be the one kneeling and the one Harry fed. Why am I so weak? Why do I want that?” Lucius was starting to understand. Almost every submissive had certain questions as they were finding themselves, add to that all his friend had been through… He had to choose his answers carefully.
“You are not weak it is perfectly alright to be a submissive. As to why you want it, I’m afraid I can’t answer that. I am not a submissive so I do not understand those feelings but I can tell you what I have heard. Submissives say that when they submit it frees them like nothing else can and in a way they have more control than the Dominant does. I am sure there is much more to it but as I said, I am not a submissive. If you want to know more, I suggest talking to Draco or I can arrange for you to talk to another submissive, if he makes you nervous. Then there is always Potter who seems to care about you and know a bit about these types of relationships. Also in concerns to Potter and my son, they are not in a relationship. Potter is just taking care of Draco in his Dominants’ absence.”
“How can I not be weak? I let my fa…I let him ra…hurt me. I could have stopped him but I didn’t. I didn’t curse him, I didn’t AK him, I didn’t even struggle. What do you mean taking care of him?”
“I think Potter would be the best one for you to talk to. There is something I can tell you though. You did not let him do anything. You were raped and abused. You were conditioned from birth to fear your father and to not fight back. It was only because of your mother and later Lily that you did not break completely. You are not at fault. Even when you were older, you could not fight back, even if you escaped your father you would have been at Dumbledore’s mercy. Is that any better?”
“No buts. If you want to talk about this anymore, I encourage you to talk to Potter. If that is not acceptable then I am always willing to talk to you, my friend.”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Good, very good. Now then why don’t I call Potter back in here and you two may have lunch together. Afterwards you can tell him what we talked about.”
Lucius did not leave any room for argument as he quickly strode out the door in search of Potter. He found his prey pacing in the hall. It seems that after talking to Remus, Harry had bumped into Draco and friends only to learn Malfoy Sr. was interrogating his Severus. He had spent the past 15 minutes or so waiting outside Severus’ door.
“How is he? What did he say? If you hurt him…”
“Mr. Potter, I promise you I left him no worse than I found him. As for what was said, Severus would like to have lunch with you and afterwards he will discuss his troubles.”
Lucius once again had the final word as he quickly nodded adieu and walked back to his own rooms. Harry was left stunned in the hallway with no other option except to enter the room and see what awaited him.
Lunch unsurprisingly was a very tense affair and neither man ate much. After lunch, things only became worse. Severus was nearing another panic attack and Harry was worried about what he did wrong to make his newfound friend so distressed. Harry decided to start the conversation.
“How did your talk with Lord Malfoy go? Did he have anything interesting to say?”
Severus gave a small nervous smile and nodded his head. He was sure that he was not hit by a spell but his tongue seemed to be stuck. Why couldn’t he speak? Harry would not hurt him. Harry promised to protect him. He had to speak. He had to!
His last word was mumbled too low for Harry to hear. He also knew that if he asked Severus to repeat himself it could seem like he was mad.
“Severus, you want me to what? I promise that I just didn’t hear. Can you please say it again?”
Severus sat up straight and pulled together any courage he had remaining.
“I want you to train me.”
Harry studied the man in front of him for a moment. He had an idea of what Severus was talking about but he wanted no misunderstandings. He was also worried if the injured man was ready for such a relationship. The last thing Harry wanted to do was harm the timid man.
“I’m not sure what to say. Please don’t take this as a rejection because it’s not. However, I do have some questions. When you say that you want me to train you, do you mean train you to be a submissive?”
Severus had used all of his courage to voice his desire and now could only nod his head in response.
“I would love to be your Dominant but are you sure that this is not only what you want but also something that you are ready for as well? You just came from a highly abusive situation. You probably feel lost now that you are free. I don’t want you to enter into a relationship, any relationship just to gain back some of what you’ve been freed from. If you are sure you are ready for this, then I’m all for it but I refuse to take advantage of you so if there is any doubt in your mind let me know and we can wait. I also want you to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect submissive. I am going to assume that you spoke with either Lucius or Draco and that they mentioned me being a Dom. The truth is I have only ever had two submissives and I trained them to my preference. When they found different partners they had to learn different ways to please their dominants. So much of what submission looks like for you is based on who you are and how that works with your partner. I can help you find what being a submissive means to you. Just know that if you find a different dominant your submission may look different with them then it does with me.”
Both men sat in silence, one looking for an answer the other one can’t find.
“Give me more time. My heart’s in a bind. I truly do believe that this is what I want but what if you are right?”
Harry saw Severus’ fear and knew that even though a relationship might not be best for him right now, having the uncertainty hanging above his head would be even worse. The only true question left for him was what to do? The stress started to get to him. He quickly stood up and started to pace. Would he be doing the right thing by taking the broken man as his submissive or would they both be better off if he just let him have some more time?
As Harry was pacing back and forth, Severus was growing more agitated and frightened. Had he said something wrong? Maybe that whole speech before had been Harry’s way of driving him off. Maybe he did not want such a broken, ugly, dirty submissive. On the other hand, maybe Harry did want him and didn’t feel like waiting. Maybe he wanted to know here and now whether or not he would be his submissive so he could start looking for a different one if he said no. Severus did not know what do. He had never had to make big decisions before. His father, Dumbledore, the Dark Lord and even Lucius had all made the decisions for him. Should he say that he changed his mind he did not want to be a submissive? Say that he did? Not say anything and take some more time to decide?
The stress was too much for Severus, he started to fall apart. First, he curled up into himself and then he started to silently weep. Harry continued to pace completely unaware of his professor’s distress.
Maybe I should just let Severus decide what he wants to do? Or, we could ask Remus for some help? Maybe even Lucius?
“Severus what do….”
As Harry turned around to ask his question, he noticed his companion’s state of distress. Forgetting everything he knew about abuse Harry ran over to Severus’ side and reached out to touch his shoulder. The instant that his hand connected with weeping man, Severus started to have a flashback.
“Please, Father, I’m sorry, I won’t cry no more, me big boy now, just please no more!”
As the weeping turned into sobbing Harry pulled the terrified man into his lap on the floor like father holding a small child and started to rock back and forth. He murmured soft reassurances and reminded the broken man the he was safe; his father was locked up. Eventually the sobbing turned back into weeping and then the weeping turned into just a few silently tears. When Severus was finished crying completely, Harry stopped rocking and picked them both off the floor only to sit down on the couch behind him with the potion master still in his lap.
“I’m sorry Severus I didn’t mean to make you upset. I was just trying to figure this all out. Between having the Dark Lord here, Draco bringing practically everyone we know that is supposed to support the light, and trying to get you feeling better I’m starting to fear for what sanity I have left. Yet that is no reason for me to upset you so how can I make it up to you?”
Severus was surprised. No one had ever apologized to him before without him having to force them to. Severus nuzzled into Harry’s chest hoping his request wouldn’t get him yelled at or worse.
“Will you please sing to me?”
Harry was shocked. Sure singing had always calmed the man down but to hear him actually ask for it was awe-inspiring.
“Would you like me to play my guitar as well or just sing?”
Severus thought about it. On one hand, the guitar sounded great but on the other hand it meant that Harry would not hold him anymore. It did not take long for him to come to a conclusion.
“Just sing please.”
Harry absently nodded his head as he thought of a song. What would be a good song?
“I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you”
For a moment both men sat in complete silence just basking in having the other near, not wanting to break the serenity that seemed to have befallen them. Then Severus spoke.
“I want to be in a relationship with you. I don’t know how far I can go with it but I want to try and I want to try and be your submissive too.”
Harry was silent for a moment trying to stop himself from jumping up and down doing a cheer. When he replied, his voice held a tint of excitement.
“Very well, we can’t do much until Madam Pomfrey releases you from her dragon claws but we shall start with the basics and see how it progresses.”
Kink can help people heal from trauma (obviously not recommended for everyone) so before you jump on me about Harry taking advantage of Severus remember that this is fiction and visit this site. https://www.akinkinthecure.com/
For dinner that evening, Harry had Severus sit in the chair next to him and hand fed him throughout the whole meal. It was a quiet affair, both men lost in their own thoughts. Severus was drifting off and feeling a sense of comfort and safety just from the tenderness and care he was being shown. Harry was thinking about how his life had changed in a matter of a few short days and how good it felt to have a submissive again, one that he was not just watching over. Piece by piece Harry fed Severus only stopping to give him a sip of water or to take a bite or drink himself.
After eating, the two curled up together on the loveseat and talked. Mainly they set about trying to clear the air about the past few years. Harry told of his exploits, Severus told about teaching and some of the funnier accidents over the years most of them done by Neville and the Weasley twins. All in all, it was a rather pleasant night and both men turned in early. This night Severus did not need to ask, Harry told him he would be back in a few minutes after he got ready in his room. Once again, both men had a restful sleep. Harry stayed on his cot but thought about the day he could sleep once more holding the man that laid in the bed next to him.
An explosion out in the hall awoke both men. Harry immediately grabbed his wand and prepared for an attack. Severus jumped out of bed and backed up against the wall feeling truly defenseless without his wand. When nothing further happened, Harry crept slowly into the hall to see a most shocking scene.
Draco, who was currently blue with pink hair, was chasing the Weasley twins down the hall and there was goo all over the walls, ceiling, and floor that seemed to be pulsating and changing colors. Seeing that the explosion had been just a Weasley prank Harry went back to check on Severus. What awaited him made his heart twist. Severus had curled himself up leaning against the bed. Harry sat down on the bed and started to play with the long raven colored hair.
“There’s nothing to be frightened of, it was just the twins playing a joke. They turned Draco blue and he has pink hair. Poor Dray is always the twins target lately… Anyway I was thinking that we could get Madam Pomfrey to stop by today and give you a checkup. Maybe get you out of this room.”
Severus had to admit that exploring the rest of the manor did sound nice. He decided to give Harry his consent to contact Poppy. Harry was excited for his professor it seemed like he was finally making some real progress. Harry left Severus with Salazar’s potion journal and headed down to the main sitting room. Luckily, for him almost everyone was there. He sent a Patronus requesting everyone else’s presence. Harry looked around to see who Draco had called. There was Fred, George, Ginny, Hermione, Luna, and Neville; Draco really did get the whole gang together. After everyone was gathered together, Harry explained his summons.
“I told Se-Professor Snape that I would contact Madam Pomfrey and I will but first there are a few things I would like to discuss first. Mainly I want to explain why Professor Snape is here and why Madam Pomfrey is needed. The adults are here to monitor me and make sure I don’t betray Professor Snape’s trust by saying too much and add anything they think might be important.”
With that introduction, Harry started to tell his tale from the time he noticed something off at the Order meeting all the way up to promising to fire-call Poppy. Every once and awhile an adult would cut in to add something or to cut Harry off so he did not say too much. Once Harry was done, everyone was silent. Those that had not already known were in shock those who had known were all thinking about something else. Draco, Lucius, and Marvolo were thinking about revealing their relationships. Narcissa was thinking about her sister and Remus was thinking about how quickly things had changed. Draco looked over to his Doms and when he received their silent permission, he decided to make his announcement.
“Ok so most of you know who I am dating but for those of you who don’t, especially my parents, well umm… I’m dating FredandGeorge.”
The room was completely quiet while the adults processed what they had just heard. Draco reached out to hold hands with the twins and together they waited to see how the elder Malfoys would react. Lucius was the first to respond.
“Well that is surprising and I am not yet ready to give my blessing but I am willing to see what happens. So long as you are happy then your mother and I are happy for you as well and your relationship may earn my blessing in time. I also have an announcement to make in light of recent events. Draco this announcement is mainly for you and I want you to understand that your mother and I love you dearly and that we were not trying to hide this from you. It just never seemed the right time to discuss this with you. While Narcissa and I are good friends we are not romantically involved, rather Marvolo and I are lovers.”
After those stunning confessions, it was decided that Narcissa would be moved into Marvolo’s room and Marvolo would share a room with Lucius. With that, the meeting broke up. Draco went with his parents to discuss the recent revelations and to check on the elves as they moved the rooms around. Harry went to fire-call Madam Pomfrey. He set a time for her to come the next day around lunchtime. Hopefully, that would be soon enough for Severus. When Harry returned to Severus’ room, he found Severus asleep sitting in the armchair with Salazar’s potion journal on his chest. As uncomfortable, as the position looked it was also endearing. Harry found himself smiling as he placed the journal on the café table. Now should he wake Severus up or try to carry him to bed without waking him? On one hand, he did not want to disturb him but on the other hand, if Severus woke up as he was being carried he might become upset.
“Severus, its ok, your safe, now wake up. Shhh… it’s alright your safe.”
Severus quickly woke up at the first sound. When he realized that it was Harry talking to him, he opened his eyes to see what he wanted. When Harry saw that Severus was awake he helped him up and into the bedroom where he helped the half-asleep man lay down to take a proper nap.
Sorry for the late update! I am now an official homeowner and the renovations are taking up most of my time!
Chapter 24: Chapter 24: Contract
As dinner time approached Harry decided to wake up his new partner, they had already missed lunch and Severus could not afford to skip meals. Slowly walking into Severus’ room, Harry took a few minutes to appreciate how peaceful and at ease Severus now seemed to be when he slept. When he had first arrived at Atra Bilis Domus, Severus had slept fitfully and often curled up in on himself, as if he expected to be struck in his sleep. Harry hoped that this peaceful Severus would eventually show himself during the day, instead of the Severus who constantly cowered and flinched.
“Severus, it’s time for dinner.”
Severus jolted awake at the sound only calming down when he realized where he was and just who it was that was speaking. Slowly nodding his head Severus climbed out of bed and made use of the loo before joining Harry in the sitting room for dinner. Dinner started out much the same as breakfast, Harry feeding Severus bites of food between his own mouthfuls, stopping only to give them both sips of water or tea. It was not until towards the end of the meal that Severus started to sense the tension radiating of his Dom, quickly setting him on edge. Both men quickly lost their appetites so Harry decided to address the issue head on.
“Severus, I think now would be a good time to set down some basic rules. Do you want anybody to come and sit with us as we discuss them?”
“Lucius said he said he knew a submissive I could talk to.”
“I’m guessing he meant Marvolo as they just came out together this morning along with Draco and the twins. Is that who you would like to come, Lucius and Marvolo?”
“The Dark Lord? He is a submissive”
“Lucius announced that he is in a relationship with Marvolo and judging on the fact that Lucius offered for you to talk with a submissive, I am going to assume that Lucius is a Dominate otherwise he would have spoken with you himself.” Here Harry paused and waited for Severus to nod his head in agreement. “Since Lucius is a Dom I am assuming that Marvolo is a Sub. I could be wrong though.”
“He is the Dark Lord though.”
“Yes he is but that doesn’t mean he cannot be submissive with the right person. Many submissives hold positions of power and they trust their Dominate to keep them grounded and to help them cope with the stress. Remember, being submissive does not mean being weak. Giving yourself over to someone else the way a submissive does takes strength and trust.”
“It is hard to imagine the Dark Lord being submissive but I would like Lucius to be here and for him to bring whichever submissive he was talking about…. If they are willing.”
Harry nodded his head and went to see if the two men would be amenable to helping Severus get through making the initial contract. He found the two men in their sitting room and quickly explained what he wanted of the two. They quickly agreed and followed Harry back to Severus’ rooms to help make the contract. When Harry entered the sitting room with the other two following, he noticed that Severus had not moved from the love seat where he left him. So deciding to follow his instinct Harry went over and sat next to Severus gently pulling him into his side. Lucius sat on the couch and after a few seconds, he signaled for Marvolo to sit next to him rather than kneel. Severus was distraught enough they were there to help not hinder. After everyone was seated, Harry spoke up.
“Alright Severus, Lucius and Marvolo are here to help make sure the contract is fair to you and that everything you want represented in it is. If at any time you want to talk to them alone just say so, I promise not to be upset. Do you want to speak to them right now?”
Severus frantically shook his head and buried it in Harry’s shoulder much like a small child would. Harry just gave a halfhearted smile and summoned a piece of parchment, quill, and ink. It took roughly two hours but by the end of the two hours the four men agreed on an initial contract. Lucius and Marvolo tended to weigh in more than Severus, however Severus did speak up on a couple of occasions and stated his agreement to the finalized contract.
I, Severus Tobias Snape, with a free mind and an open heart; do enter into a relationship with Harry James Potter. I ask that He accept the submission of my will unto His and to take me into His care and guidance and that we may grow together in love, trust and mutual respect. The satisfaction of His wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a submissive to be found pleasing to Him. To that end, I offer Him use of my time, talents, and abilities. Further, I ask, in sincere humility, that, as my Keeper, He accept the keeping of my body for the fulfillment and enhancement of our sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs in accordance with what I feel comfortable with at this time.
I ask that He guide me in any sexual, sensual, or scene-related behavior, both together with, and separate from Him, in such a way as to further my growth as a person.
I request of Harry James Potter, as my Keeper, that he use the power vested in His role; to mold and shape me; assisting me to grow in strength, character, confidence, and being, and that He continue to help me to develop my artistic and intellectual abilities.
In return, I agree:
To obey His commands to the best of my ability.
To strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve Him and limit my growth as His submissive.
To maintain honest and open communication.
To reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment.
To inform Him of wants and perceived needs, recognizing that He is the sole judge of whether or how these shall be satisfied.
To strive toward maintenance of a positive self-image and development of realistic expectations and goals.
To work with Him to become a happy and self-fulfilled individual.
To work against negative aspects of my ego and my insecurities that would interfere with advancement of these aims.
My surrender as a submissive is done with the knowledge that nothing asked of me will demean me as a person, and will in no way diminish my own responsibilities toward making utmost use of my potential.
This I, Severus Tobias Snape, do entreat, with lucidity and the realization of what this means, both stated and implied, in the conviction that this offer will be understood in the spirit of faith, caring, esteem and devotion in which it is given.
Should either of us find that our aspirations are not being well served by this agreement, find this commitment too burdensome, or for any other reason wish to cancel, either may do so by verbal notification to the other, in keeping with the consensual nature of this agreement. We both understand that cancellation means a cessation of the control stated and implied within this agreement, not a termination of our relationship as friends and romantic partners. Upon cancellation, each of us agrees to offer to the other his reasons and to assess our new needs and situation openly and lovingly.
This agreement shall serve as the basis for an extension of our relationship, committed to in the spirit of loving and consensual dominance and submission with the intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving both our lives.
I offer my consent to submission to Harry James Potter under the terms stated above on this the 14 th day of August in the year 1997.
Severus Tobias Snape
Signature of submissive
I offer my acceptance of submission by Severus Tobias Snape under the terms stated above on this the 14 th day of August in the year 1997.
Harry James Potter
Signature of Dominant
Chapter 25: Chapter 25: Panic Attack
After the contract was signed, Marvolo and Lucius made their excuses and left. Now alone with his Keeper, Severus was nervous. What if he had just traded one Master for another? What if Harry saw the Contract as permission to hurt him? Was it? As more and more negative thoughts started to circle in his mind, Severus started to have a panic attack. It felt as if he were dying, he could not breathe, his heart was racing, and he was lightheaded, causing the panic attack to worsen.
Shortly after Marvolo and Lucius left the room Harry left as well, not realizing that Severus had not heard him and was starting to panic. Harry had gone to his rooms to see if he could find something to store the contract in when his wards alerted him that something was wrong with his submissive. Still clutching the contract Harry raced back to Severus’ room to see what had happened. Remus had been walking back to his rooms when Harry raced by and he was quick to follow. When the two men reached Severus’ room, they found the Potion Master passed out on the floor. Harry was quick to act and went to check Severus’ breathing and pulse. Remus quickly ran to fire-call Poppy. When Remus returned with the healer behind him, he found Harry cradling Severus and softly humming a lullaby.
“Harry, Poppy needs to look at Severus now. You need to let him go for just a few minutes. Come on Harry, come over here by me and let Poppy help him.”
Once Harry reluctantly moved away from his sub, Madam Pomfrey started running diagnostic spells. As Madam Pomfrey was checking on Severus, the other members of the household came to see what the commotion was about and immediately after seeing an unconscious Severus, both Marvolo and Lucius started to berate Harry.
“He hasn’t been your sub for even an hour and already he’s unconscious.”
“What the hell did you do? Knock him over the head, push him too far?”
“We should have known he wasn’t ready for this type of relationship. What were we thinking allowing you to have a contract with him?!”
After a few minutes, Harry recovered enough to defend himself and make sure that the others in the room could not see how his self-doubt grew with each accusation.
“I did nothing. I left shortly after you did to get something from my room and rushed back here after I heard the wards around Severus go off. He was unconscious when I got here. If you will quiet down and wait, I am sure Madam Pomfrey will tell us what has happened in a moment. I am just as worried as you are.”
After a few very tense moments, Poppy was ready with a diagnosis and tried to get everyone to sit down so she could tell them.
“Severus is fine. It is best to leave him where he is for now. He seems to have suffered a panic attack and then passed out. He currently has a minor concussion and he will remain unconscious for a short while until his body calms down. With the mild concussion he may get headaches and he should be monitored to make sure it does not get worse Remus and Lady Malfoy, I believe you both have some basic healing knowledge. Do you both know what to keep an eye out for?”
Both Remus and Narcissa nodded their heads. Remus also stated “Minor confusion, lack of coordination, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, ringing in the ears, sleepiness, and excessive fatigue are typical but if they get severe then we need to contact you immediately.”
“Yes and I do not know what triggered this attack but it needs to be resolved quickly. As long as he does not feel safe he will continue to have panic attacks. Other than the concussion, once Severus wakes up he should be fine to start moving about a little bit more. However, I do not want him doing anything too strenuous, a walk around the house will be fine, brewing for more than an hour, flying, or running, is out of the question. Strenuous activities at this point in his recovery could put him back on bed rest. I’ll be back in two days to recheck him.”
Once everyone acknowledged Madam Pomfrey’s instructions, they dispersed and only Harry and Lucius remained. Harry immediately tried to go to Severus but Lucius grabbed his arm and spun him around.
“I will leave him in your care but don’t abuse my trust. You won’t live to regret it.”
With those words, Lucius left Harry and Severus alone. Harry ran to Severus and cradled him in his arms. Slowly, Harry began to rock and sing, the whole time wondering where everything had gone wrong.
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you
Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you
Harry’s voice started to waver as he continued to sing. Had he been too forceful with his words? Was Severus afraid to speak up?
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you
Soon Harry had tears starting to run down his face. Was there more hurt inside Severus? Just how much hurt could one person hold before they broke completely?
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you
Doubts and fears continued to run through Harry’s mind as the tears kept rolling down his cheeks and into Severus’ hair. Severus said he did not like the person he was forced to become but what if there was more to it? What if he did not like himself at all?
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved
Once Harry had finished thinking and singing, he gently lifted Severus and carried him into the bedroom. As he cuddled with Severus in bed, Harry started to talk about the day’s events. Through it all, he hoped he would hit on what caused the panic attack.
“Sev, I’m scared. I’m afraid that I’ve done something wrong and that I’ve hurt you. Did I move too fast with the contract? Do you feel rushed? I’m sorry if that’s what’s wrong. Just please wake up and tell me to slow down and I will. Umm does it have to do with the contract? Is there something in it that you didn’t like? Please just wake up and we can talk about it and we can make changes. I just don’t know any more Sev, I care for you. I want to see you happy and safe. Yet everything I do seems to hurt you. I beg you wake up! You are safe here. I will protect you. Anything else that is bothering you we can discuss when you wake up. Please.”
By the end of his one sided talk, Harry was crying freely and hugging Severus closely to his chest. He ended up falling asleep still holding Severus and with tear tracks still on his face.
An hour later, when Harry woke up, he hoped the whole thing was just a horrible nightmare. Yet, when he tried to gently shake Severus awake, he realized the day’s events had truly happened. Harry laid back down, he had no idea on what to do next. As Harry sat and thought of the future, Remus came to see how the two men were doing. When he saw that Severus was still not awake he tried to get Harry to talk about what had happened. Harry did not respond to Remus’ prompts. Remus decided to call in some support and called for Draco to come attempt to talk to Harry. Instead of trying to get Harry to talk, Draco asked that he take a shower and give Draco some time alone to talk to Severus. Reluctantly Harry went into the bathroom and Remus left the room.
“Hey Sev, I feel kind of ridiculous talking to you while you are unconscious but Madam Pomfrey says you need to feel safe. I know Harry probably told you about the Christmas from hell and how we became friends because of it but after that, he helped me heal emotionally as well. I was so afraid to let anyone see me naked, I could not even change in my dorm or the dorm bathroom. I had to wait until everyone else had left and then I would lock the door and change. Harry knew I was struggling and he offered me a contract. It was completely nonsexual. He gave me guidelines and structure; he helped me become comfortable with my body again by slowly pushing my limits. Once he helped me as much as he could he helped set me up with the twins and they taught me to be comfortable with sex and giving myself to someone else. None of us thought that the twins and I would fall in love. It was just meant to be a bit of fun but we matched and it evolved from there. I honestly think that Harry was trying to play match maker and everything worked out just the way he wanted. I guess what I am trying to say is that Harry is a great Dom. I am sure he has you calling him Keeper instead of Master. He does this on purpose. He will keep you safe and well cared for he will not hurt you, use you, or mistreat you. I promise you that he will do his best to protect you.”
After his speech, Draco stayed quiet and waited for Harry to finish up in the bathroom. Shortly after, Harry walked out of the bathroom wearing only a towel and summoned Nala to get him some clothes from his room. As Harry was getting dressed, Draco started to get up to leave and almost missed the small sound coming from the bed. Draco quickly called Harry over and together they waited to see if Severus would wake up.
The first thing Severus saw when he woke up was Draco’s chin. Once his vision focused he noticed that Harry was sitting on the opposite side of the bed as Draco and had his shirt hanging around his neck. Both men looked worried and were leaning over him, causing Severus to feel crowded and anxious.
As Harry and Draco noticed that Severus was starting to become uncomfortable they started to back off and Draco excused himself saying that he would tell the others that Severus was awake. Now alone with Severus, Harry was extremely nervous. So nervous in fact, that he still did not notice that his shirt was still hanging from his neck.
“Good afternoon. You had us all worried there for a while. It’s okay though, I’m just glad that you felt safe enough to wake up. Are you hungry or thirsty?”
Chapter 26: Chapter 26: Keeper, Not Master
“I…May I please have a drink, Keeper?”
“Sure! What would you like? And you don’t have to add Keeper to the end of every sentence. Think of it as a term of respect. You respect the Dark Lord and there are times when you call him by his formal title to show that respect, but you don’t always use his title when talking about him. That would be tedious.”
“Okay. I get to choose? I thought…”
“Severus, I am your Keeper. That means I protect you and, yes, at times I may make choices for you. However, I don’t want a slave. I want you to think for yourself, voice your opinion, respectfully, and when I do give an order I expect you to obey or have a decent reason why not. Right now, I see no reason why you can’t pick what drink you want. Maybe someday in the future, we will go out to eat and I will order for you. If this happens, it will not be a form of debasement or because I think you’re incompetent. It will be to show you that I can provide not just what you need but also what you want. It will also serve as a warning to others that you are taken. Now what would you like to drink?”
Harry moved away from Severus and summoned Simba to fetch the water. While waiting for the house-elf’s return, Harry noticed that his shirt was still hanging around his neck and hastily finished pulling it on. Once Harry was fully dressed, he handed the water over to Severus and sat in the bedside chair. Then, the room fell into an awkward silence. Harry was unsure what to say. Should he ask about the panic attack or should he simple avoid mentioning it and talk about something else? Severus was having a similar problem. Should he bring up why he had the attack? He knew that he could trust Harry but he obviously did not completely understand what the contract meant. Would Harry be mad if he asked questions? He had said that Severus was to voice his opinion but he also said for him to think for himself. What if that meant that Harry didn’t want a stupid submissive, who needed to ask questions? Severus continued to slowly drink his water as the thoughts raced through his head. When his glass was empty, Severus simply stared forlornly at it as if hoping it held the answers he so desperately sought. After noticing Severus staring at his empty glass, Harry asked if he wanted more. Severus merely shook his head in reply.
Severus knew he should say something, after all Harry had promised not to hurt him; he even went so far as to say that he would protect him. No one had said that before and it sounded almost too good to be true. Severus knew that Harry would want to know what was bothering him, but he was frightened. Frightened that Harry would laugh or decide he was not worth the trouble. Harry knew that making meaningless talk would only make things worse later on, but he was frightened. What if asking about the attack brought on another? For all that they did know, neither man knew what to do next.
Harry decided to make the first move and hope for the best. He decided to reach for a middle ground. He decided to let Severus decide what path their conversation would take.
“Severus? Is there anything you would like to talk about?”
Severus knew that Harry was giving him an escape. He could start talking about the weather or a book he had read and Harry would follow his lead. He also knew that if he did that it would be the coward’s way and he was no coward. He decided to answer truthfully.
“Do you mind if I ask a question?”
“I give you full permission to ask any questions you have now and any you may have in the future.”
“Okay, um, what exactly does the contract mean? I mean, I thought it meant that I gave all control to you, but you just said that is not true. So then what…what is required of me?”
“Alright, how about we review the contract and I can explain the different parts to you. This way you can see what it requires of us both, and you can ask any other questions that might pop up. Does that sound good?”
Severus nodded his head. Harry went and grabbed the contract out of the bedside drawer, where he had placed while Severus was unconscious. He then went and sat next to Severus on the bed, and made sure they could both read what was written.
“Okay so this first part here says, ‘I ask that He accept the submission of my will unto His and to take me into His care and guidance and that we may grow together in love, trust and mutual respect’. Really all that says is that I will care for you, and be there for you, and that together we will come to care even more for each other and learn to trust and respect each other.
Where it says submission of your will unto mine, I think is better explained later on, down here where it says, ‘To that end, I offer Him use of my time, talents, and abilities’ and ‘To obey His commands to the best of my ability’. Your submission only means that you respect me and listen to me when I ask you to do something. However, my power is not absolute, I am human, I do make mistakes. Which is why the contract states that, ‘My surrender as a submissive is done with the knowledge that nothing asked of me will demean me as a person, and will in no way diminish my own responsibilities toward making utmost use of my potential’. If something is demeaning to you or if you feel as if I’m pushing you too far then, you must talk to me. I also am not a Potion Master; I cannot guide you on that. The best I can do is offer my advice about different situations that might crop up during your work. It is your responsibility to use your full potential in every aspect of life. I will be there to help and to show you new areas for achievement but I cannot achieve things for you.
The main point of the contract is the, and I quote, ‘intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving both our lives’. Your submission is supposed to help you safely explore new things, and it is supposed to bring you happiness. If at any time you want to stop being my submissive than you just have to let me know.”
Severus had no reply. He simply stared at the contract in sheer disbelief. He had it all wrong. He had not traded one master for another; he had traded a master for a Keeper. His Keeper would guide and protect him, not hurt and humiliate him. He was safe with Harry. Harry would protect him.
“Severus, I know this is a lot to take in, would you like some time alone to think? Or maybe you would like to talk to someone?”
“No, please don’t leave me. I understand now. You are my Keeper; you will protect me. You are safe. Please don’t go.”
Chapter 27: Chapter 27: Going for a Walk
“Alright Sev, I’m right here and I’m not leaving. How about we go for a walk? Madam Pomfrey said you should move around a little. When I left, I went to my room to get something to put the contract in, some sort of case to protect it. How about you come with me and we will look together, ok?”
Severus is extremely hesitant. He wants to get out, and he trusts Harry but what about the others? He realizes that it is irrational to think that he is safer in his rooms than elsewhere but they feel that way to him. They feel safe to him. He does not want to face anyone outside his rooms, even with Harry beside him.
“I want to go but…I don’t want to face anyone. I…”
Severus stopped talking and simply stared at his lap, afraid that he had disappointed his Keeper. Harry knew that something had to be done.
“I can understand that. However, you cannot avoid them forever. For today, I will make sure that the hallway is clear. Then tomorrow, I want you to make an effort to go and see at least one other person outside these rooms. Do you think you can do that?”
“I… you’ll be with me?”
“Yes Sev, I’ll be right next to you the whole time. You can even pick who we meet with and where we meet them.”
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
Harry nodded his head as he got up to check the hallway. As he was about to walk away he stopped, lent down, and kissed Severus softly on the forehead.
“I’m very proud of you. You have been through so much but you are not letting it win. Every day I see you becoming more confident and pushing yourself to step out of your comfort zone. So many other people would have been broken by what you have survived but you are overcoming it all. There is still a ways to go but each day you make me so proud of how far you have come. I am honored that you have put your trust in me and I will do everything in my power to earn and keep that trust.”
With those words, he walked away. Once Harry was in the hallway, he found himself with a daunting task. He needed to inform everyone to stay out of the upstairs hallway for the next 30 minutes at least. After 15 minutes of running around everyone now knew what was going to happen, and Harry had returned to Severus’ rooms. Severus was fine until they tried to step into the hallway.
Chapter 28: Chapter 28: The First Step
Severus seemed frozen on the edge of the doorway. Harry could practically see the struggle in his eyes. Severus knew that there was no one in the hallway and that he would be just as safe out there, as he was in his rooms, but he still panicked. He could not do it. At least that is what he thought until Harry offered his hand.
“It’s okay Sev, you can do this, I’m right here. Just take the first step and everything will get easier. Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you’ll be walking out the door. Come on Sev, take my hand and then take that first step.”
As Severus took Harry’s hand and took that first step, he also took the first step in truly trusting Harry to protect him and guide him. Severus started to feel more confident in his ability to make this relationship work. Harry’s speech before he had left earlier had touched something deep inside of him. He smiled at his Keeper to show that he was okay, or at least he would be and that was more than he dared hope for in a long time. As they were walking down the hall, Severus’ hand firmly clasped in Harry’s hand, the potion master thought of something.
“Do you know what happened to my fa… that man I lived with?”
“Don’t worry Sev. He is securely locked up in the dungeon and cannot hurt you anymore. Why?”
Harry was surprised and worried by Severus’ question. He wanted to know what had caused it and how his submissive would react to having his abuser in the same house. Severus’ answer shocked Harry to the core and made him extremely proud and hopeful at the same time.
“I want to see him. He has controlled my life for too long. He has caused me continuous pain and fear. Even now, I know he cannot touch me but I am still afraid, I am afraid to leave my room I afraid to see other people and I am tired of it all. I want, no I need to confront him and see what he looks like when he screams in pain. I will show him that I am strong.”
Harry was unsure. He was proud that Severus had expressed himself and that he feels ready to confront his abuser but a part of Harry was worried. Worried that it would be too much, too soon, that it would cause a flashback or even worse it would cause Severus to revert to his previous behavior. Still Harry knew that denying Severus this chance could cause serious damage to their relationship. Harry didn’t want Severus to think that Harry saw him as weak.
“If you are sure…I can take you down to see him whenever you want.”
“If it is okay I would like to go now. I do not want the chance to change my mind. Will you stay with me the whole time?”
“I will always be there when you need me. Only death can keep me away. Now I believe that we should talk about what will happen before we head down to the dungeon. This door leads to my chambers so why don’t we retrieve the case for our contract and bring it back to your rooms. We can talk as we walk.”
Severus looked indecisive. He made a decision and prepared himself to defy his Keeper for the first time.
“Keeper, I would prefer if we went now.”
Harry was impressed that Severus was standing up to him but he would not budge on this issue.
“Thank you for expressing yourself Severus but I will not allow you to go down there and face that monster before we have had the chance to talk. Now you have two choices. We can talk as we grab a case for our contract or we can talk after you have sat in the corner for a few minutes to think. Which would you prefer?”
Severus couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t his keeper see that he needed to go now before he changed his mind? He thought that his keeper was supposed to do what is best for him.
“No! I want to go now! You will take me down there right now, no delays.”
Harry was not impressed. He knew that he had to take charge but in a way that would keep Severus from having another panic attack. Harry made sure to keep his voice low, controlled and commanding.
“Severus this is enough. It is time to listen. You signed the contract allowing me to be your Keeper. That means I am to do everything I can to protect you and look out for your wellbeing. You may not always agree with me, like now, but unless you feel that my decision will harm you in any way, you will obey. Now we will be going into my sitting room. While we are in there I will look for a case and you will sit in a corner thinking about your behavior and what you could have done differently.”
After Harry finished his speech he led a subdued Severus into the sitting room. Harry levitated a wooden chair out of his study and into an open corner.
“Normally I would have you stand but since you are still recovering you will sit here for 5 minutes instead.”
Severus sat in the chair and looked down at his lap. What an idiot he had been. Already he had disobeyed his Keeper and forced Harry to punish him. He should have listened. Now that he had time to think about it Harry’s insistence that they talk about what was going to happen was for his own good. He had almost run headlong into a dangerous situation like a reckless Gryffindor.
When Harry came back to where Severus was sitting he had a small deep red mahogany case. It was slender, the perfect size to hold their rolled up contract, it also had metal accents on it. Overall it was a majestic looking box.
Harry was the first to speak.
“Your 5 minutes are up. Are you ready to discuss this or would you like a few more minutes to think about it?”
“I am sorry Keeper. I have thought about it and realized that you are doing what is best for me. What can I do to earn your forgiveness?”
“Sev, you have already been punished and you have apologized, there is nothing left to forgive. Now come on we have to put our contract in here before we can go downstairs.”
Severus was amazed never before had he been forgiven so easily and sitting in a corner was hardly punishment. Was this some sort of test? No, he had to trust his Keeper and if Harry said he was forgiven then he must be forgiven. As they walked out of Harry’s rooms, Harry began talking about what would happen when they went downstairs.
Chapter 29: Chapter 29: Tobias’ Torture
MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING:
This chapter discusses child abuse, torture, and many other scenes of graphic violence. If this bothers you at all you can skip this chapter and not lose any of the plot (essentially in this chapter Severus tortures Tobias while remembering his childhood)
Even after talking to Harry on the way down to the dungeons Severus was still surprised at what he found. Severus heard the man long before he saw him. Tobias was ranting at Dumbledore to get him out and that the beer tasted off and wasn’t having its normal effect. When Severus reached the bottom of the stair he was clutching Harry’s hand and petrified that Dumbledore was really there, waiting to take him away. When he saw his father and the rest of the dungeon Severus had only one thought. His father was insane. Of course Severus knew that the man was insane before but now it was at a whole new level. It was obvious that the man must be hallucinating. There was no Dumbledore, and yet his father kept running from one end of the cell to the other. He was trying to show ‘Dumbledore’ how he could drink 20 beers and instead of getting drunk he threw up from too much liquids. At one point Tobias tried to hand a beer to ‘Dumbledore’. Than when that wasn’t enough to get ‘Dumbledore’ moving, Tobias pulled down his pants and tried to show that even though he was painful aroused he could not reach completion. Severus felt like he might be sick. He decided to do something before Tobias did something grosser.
Severus was unsure of what he should do. He knew that he wanted the man to suffer but he also wanted the man to be sane enough to recognize him and know why he was suffering. Severus wanted to show the bastard that he was stronger and that he wasn’t going to let the abuse conquer him. Severus decided to ask Harry if the he could stop the hallucinations. He would wait until Tobias was coherent and then he would begin his attack. Once Harry complied and removed the spells, Tobias noticed the two other men and started to yell.
“Now listen here you dirty little freak, you had better release me immediately! Don’t think you will get away with this! Don’t you remember what happened the last time you pulled a stunt like this? Dumbledore brought you right back to me and I had to kill your whore of a mother to teach you a lesson. “
As soon as Tobias insulted Severus’ mother the real torture began. Severus decided to start small and build up to a grand finale. Severus tried to remember back as far as he could. How did all the abuse start? The first memory he could think was being young, maybe 3 or 4 and having an accident and being forced to sit in the wet clothes and the pain caused by the resulting rash. The more he thought about it the more he realized that the abuse had evolved out of neglect. Severus decided to start here.
The first spell cast was Confundo. While Tobias was wandering around his prison in a haze of confusion Severus spelled Tobias’ trousers to be stuck to the man and then he forced the man to wet himself. As the confounded man walked around in his wet pants, all Severus could think of was that it was not enough. He quickly cast a bubble-head charm on himself and Harry to prevent the smell from reaching them. Afterwards, Severus removed the Confundus charm from Tobias and thought about what to do next. While Tobias was busy trying to get the wet trousers off, Severus cast a Conjunctivitis curse to cause Tobias’ eyes to burn and water. That was for all the tears Severus cried while being abandoned in his room. Severus let him suffer for a few minutes and readied himself for the next part. Enough baby stuff it was time to get serious. This man tortured me for my entire life. I can’t back down now! I have to show that I am the stronger person.
Now Severus decided to move on to the physical abuse. If Severus was remembering correctly the physical abuse happened around age 4 or 5. He remembered being in his room and being proud of his new big kid bed. It was a scuffed up metal frame with an old and beat up mattress but it was his. He was so excited that he started jumping on it. That was a big mistake. Tobias had been hungover at the time and the squeaking of the bed made his headache worse. He ended up storming into Severus’ room and tossing the little boy on the ground. He then proceeded to kick Severus repeatedly while yelling at him to be quiet. When he was finished kicking Severus, Tobias yelled at him for crying and called him a sniveling pansy.
All Severus could think about was causing Tobias as much pain as he could without killing him. That would come later. Severus started small with Furnunculus. Tobias was too busy with his pants to even notice the boils that sprouted all over his skin. It still wasn’t enough! Severus had decades of abuse to pay back. He needed something big. Something that would truly get Tobias’ attention.
“DIFFINDO!” Severus shouted while pointing his wand at Tobias’ left hand. That hand had been the one to slap Severus and his mother countless times. That hand was always the precursor to countless forms of pain. Severus hated that hand. Now that hand lay bloody on the ground where it had fallen after being ripped off its owner’s arm. Tobias was clutching his bloody stump and stammering incoherently.
“Severus, I believe he is going into shock. You may want to stop the bleeding before he dies.”
Severus did as Harry suggested only with a more painful twist. He cast Incendio to cauterize the stump. Then he waited. He waited for Tobias to stop muttering, he waited until he knew that Tobias was once again aware. After he had Tobias’ attention, he cast Sectumsempra. As wounds opened all over Tobias’ body all Severus could think about was all the times Tobias would whip him. All the lashes that left their marks all over his body. Slowly Severus started to lose himself to the memories.
Severus could do naught but stand there as if he had been petrified. The memories would not leave him. Slowly they dragged him down into their dark abyss. He was 5 and Tobias was whipping him with a belt. He was 11 and he had just received his Hogwarts letter. Tobias found it and burned it. Then Tobias took the fire iron and burned Severus, calling him an unholy abomination. It was his duty as a father and a Catholic to burn the demons out of Severus. He was 14 and his mother lay dead and beaten in front of him. He is screaming now. Screaming for her to wake up. She can’t leave him alone like this. He needs her. Faster and faster the memories come. They are overwhelming and all consuming. Severus is afraid that they will never stop that he will be lost in them forever.
Harry did not realize what was happening until it was too late. He had thought that Severus was just taking a break to see what he wanted to do next. However, he noticed that Severus seemed to tense up and he decide to check if everything was okay.
“Severus? Sev, I need you to talk to me. Is everything okay? Do you need a moment?”
When no reply was forthcoming Harry decided to intervene. First he blacked out the cell. Now Tobias could not see them and they could not see him. Then Harry stepped in front of Severus. As soon as Harry looked at Severus’ eyes, he knew that Severus was no longer present in the here and now. Instead he was someplace far away. This was not like the times when one of them woke up screaming from a nightmare, no this was much worse. When you wake up screaming from a nightmare you are becoming more aware of reality but now Severus was falling further away from reality. Harry had never dealt with this type of situation before. He decided to let his instincts take over.
Harry’s first order of action was to place a cheering charm on Severus. He hoped that the induced happiness from the charm would help keep Severus from falling deeper. After the charm, Harry cast Morbilicorpus to get Severus to sit down on the dungeon floor. Then, Harry summoned a house-elf and had it fetch him a calming draught. When the house-elf returned Harry placed the potion on the floor and started to figure out how to get the potion into Severus. He was worried that touching Severus would cause more harm than good. He knew that there were ways to spell the potion into Severus but he had never done so before and he wasn’t sure that he would be able to do it correctly. After a moment of deliberation Harry decided that the potion was absolutely necessary and so he would have to touch Severus.
Harry slowly reached out his right hand to touch Severus’ cheek, all the while he was offering encouraging words in a soothing tone of voice. When Harry’s hand approached his face, Severus flinched away. However, Harry continued to slowly move forward until his hand was gently resting on Severus’ cheek. At first Severus stiffened up at the touch, but then he seemed to relax and even lean into the touch. Harry was encouraged by this and pressed his hand a little firmer onto Severus’ cheek. When Severus did not have an adverse reaction to the touch, Harry used his free hand to pick up the potion and started to slowly move it towards Severus’ face. Severus allowed the potion to be pressed against his lips but he would not open his mouth. Harry slid his right hand down towards Severus’ mouth and used his thumb to wedge Severus’ mouth open. Once Harry had poured the potion into Severus’ mouth he used his left hand to massage Severus’ throat and make him swallow.
Since Severus was allowing Harry to touch him, Harry decided that he would try to use touch to ground Severus in reality. Slowly Harry slid his body across the dungeon floor until he was sitting with his side pressed up against Severus’ side. Then Harry slowly wrapped his arm around the traumatized man and pulled him closer to his chest. When Severus was fully resting on Harry’s chest, Harry started to rock softly and slowly.
“It is going to be okay. We are going to make it through this. We just have to hold on. I am here for you and I will not let you fall. All I need from you is willingness. I need you to be willing to trust me and lean on me. I need you to be willing to tell me when something is wrong.”
Harry knew that Severus probably could not hear him but he felt better for saying it and he realized that everything he said was true. They would be okay. Harry decided to sing softly as he waited for the calming draught and cheering charm to help pull Severus back into reality.
“Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
Harry stopped singing when he heard Severus whimper. Harry tried to pull back and see Severus’ face but Severus suddenly sprang forward and clasped onto Harry with all his might. Harry went rigid in surprise. He could feel Severus shaking and knew that he was coming back to awareness. Harry held onto the trembling man as hard as he could and simply sat rocking back and forth.
“Concentrate on my voice. We are going to focus on breathing right now. Feel how my chest is rising and falling. Try to match my breath. We are going to breath in for a count of 4, then hold it for 7, and exhale for 8. I will count for us; you just need to focus on matching me. I know you can do this. Ready?” After about 15 minutes of just breathing together, Severus started to calm down and relax against Harry. When Harry pulled back to look at Severus’ face, Severus refused to meet his eyes. It seemed as if they had gone back to the first morning all over again. Harry wanted nothing more than to see his submissive smile.
“Hey Sev, are you feeling any better? I was worried that this had become too much. If you want to talk about it, I am willing to listen. Most importantly I want you to know that I care about you and that this has changed nothing. You are still my sub, I will still take care of you, I will not leave you, and most importantly YOU are NOT a BURDEN.”
Severus remained quiet and did not move from his position resting on Harry’s chest. Harry decided to let him rest for a little longer. Just as Harry was getting ready to suggest that they move back to Severus’ room, Severus sat up with a determined look in his eyes. Harry then received an even greater shock when Severus spoke.
“Will you help me finish this? I have one more spell that I need to cast. Then, I don’t care if I never see that monster again.”
So this is officially the last chapter I have from the original story! From here on out it is stuff I am writing now so if there are any changes in style or discrepancies I beg for mercy. It has been years since I started this story and a lot has changed.
I also want to give a huge shout out to everyone that has left a comment or kudos!! I read each comment and the kudos help motivate me to keep working on this story. If fact it was a comment that inspired me to start working on this story again after almost 4 years of not looking at it. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy the ride!
A/N: My view on Tobias being Catholic
I want to start by saying I am Christian (not Catholic). I went to a Catholic High School and a Catholic College so total I spent 8 years in a Catholic school setting. In that time I met a lot of good Catholics and a lot of bad Catholics.
Tobias is a abusive drunk and Catholic, he is not an abusive drunk because he is Catholic. Based of of time period and location there is a very good chance that Tobias being Catholic is canon (just not explicitly stated in the books). I mentioned him being Catholic as a plot point it gives a further explanation as to why he views his son with such hatred.
The Catholic church is not widely known to be tolerant of differences. There is currently a lot going on between the Church and LGBTQIA+ rights. In the past (and to a lesser degree today in the present) the Church has spoken out against witches and magic as being abominations and Devil worshipers. This is the type of Catholic I envision Tobias being. The "holier-than-thou" type.
This is not to say that there are not good Catholics out there. The priests at my college were some of the smartest and most understanding people I've met. They helped me start to heal from the trauma the bad Catholics at my high school caused.
Imagine being 13 and just starting to figure out who you are. Now imagine a school wide assembly with a guest speaker. The guest speaker is a Catholic priest (no surprise there). Now imagine he asks all the "gays and lesbians" to stand up. You watch as roughly 15 of your classmates stand up but you and many more stay seated. Unfortunately life hadn't taught those 15 students to keep their heads down. Now the priest looks into the eyes of each student standing, points to them one-by-one and says to each of them "you are going to hell". Then as they sit down he goes on to preach about the abomination that is homosexuality. The next day we found out a student had attempted suicide. The teachers do not state that the priest was wrong to say what he did they only say he shouldn't have singled the students out. The bullies pick up on the fact that the school does not support the LGBTQIA+ community and they use it to there advantage. Imagine 4 yrs of this.
I did not say Tobias was a drunk and abusive because he was Catholic. Him being Catholic is only a plot point. I did not say all Catholics are like Tobias but I will say that if the Wizarding world were to be revealed today as being real I do full heartedly believe the Catholic Church would speak out against witches and wizards and see them as evil.
Chapter 31: Chapter 31: Closure
Harry looked at Severus intently.
“Severus, I want you to be absolutely sure about this. If you are sure I will do anything I can to help you but if you have any doubts we can wait. I can keep him alive until you are sure you are ready.”
“You think I am going to kill him? No, I don’t want him to die. That would be too easy. I want him to suffer.”
“Okay, what do you need from me?”
Harry nodded and helped his partner up from the ground. Harry made sure to position himself behind Severus and wrap his arms around him. Severus needed Harry’s support but he also needed closure. Severus made sure to take a deep breath and then let his Keeper know that he was ready. Harry tightened his arms and dropped the privacy spells around the cell. Severus raised his wand one last time while looking at the man who tortured him for so long.
The monster in question was curled up on the cell floor clutching his burnt stump. He was slowly rocking and mumbling to himself. His mumblings made no sense but none of that mattered to Severus. All Severus saw was the source of so much of his suffering, the man that hurt him for years and the abomination that killed his mother.
“ANI FIGURATUR STUPRI”
Tobias let out a terrible screech and seemed to seize as he experienced a whole new level of pain. As Tobias feel silent Severus squeezed Harry’s arms and turned towards the stairs. He was done, his father had only suffered a fraction of the pain he caused but it would have to be enough. It was time to move on.
Once the two men were safely back in Severus’ sitting room Harry guided his submissive to the couch and sat down next to him. For a short while the two men just sat there holding each other and feeling numb. Both men jumped when there was a knock on the door. With Severus’ permission, Harry opened the door. Marvolo was standing in the hall and looking more awkward then Severus or Harry could ever remember seeing him.
“Sorry to disturb you guys. It is getting late and everyone is getting ready for bed. We were all hoping to see how Severus was doing after such a stressful day.”
As Marvolo was talking, Harry realized that no one else was aware what had just transpired in the dungeons. As far as everyone was concerned Severus went for a short walk in the hallway and then returned to his room. Harry knew that Madam Pomfrey and all of his house guests would say that Severus should not have been allowed near the dungeons and that he most certainly should not have used so much magic, but they did not understand. Severus needed the closure that came from confronting his abuser. Without that closure Severus could never really heal. His physical wounds may fade but the mental and emotional wounds would fester and prevent him from living a full life. Before Harry could think of anything to say, Severus spoke up.
“My lord, I am doing better. Sorry for worrying everyone and thank you for checking up on me.”
“Please Severus, call me Marvolo. We can save all of that ‘my lord’ stuff for meetings. Here we’re equals and hopefully we can become friends.”
Severus’ voice waivered slightly as he responded, “thank you, Marvolo, I would enjoy becoming friends with you.”
After a few more minutes of polite conversation Marvolo excused himself and the couple prepared for bed. As Harry went to lay on his cot Severus stopped him and in a quiet voice Severus asked Harry to sleep in the bed instead. That night both men slept peacefully while holding tight to one another.
In the morning, as the men ate their breakfast, Harry and Severus discussed the possibility of Severus talking with someone other than Harry for the morning. Severus was hesitant but wanted to make his keeper proud. In the end Severus agreed to spend the morning with Lucius and Marvolo. Harry left Severus once they were finished eating so that he could find the men in question. Lucius and Marvolo were in the main sitting room having a conversation about a recently released defense journal article. Both men readily agreed to spend the morning with Severus and quickly made their way up to his rooms. Harry made sure that Severus was still ok with him leaving and encouraged him to send a message if he needed Harry for anything. Lucius and Marvolo quickly explained the new journal article to Severus and pulled him into their previous discussion.
Harry worried about Severus but knew that it would not be healthy to spend every moment of every day with him. Instead to keep himself busy, Harry sought out his friends and spent the morning having fun with the other teenagers. They all hung out in Harry’s sitting room and played various games while discussing the previous school year and how their summers were going. Lunch quickly rolled around and everyone except Harry headed down to the dining room to eat. Harry quickly made his way back to Severus to see how his morning went. When Harry opened Severus’ door he was met with two irate dark wizards. Both wizards started to yell at the same time.
“YOU LET HIM SEE THAT MONSTER!!! YOU LET HIM CAST DARK SPELLS!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MAGIC THAT WOULD COST HIM!!!! HE COULD HAVE BEEN HURT!!!”
Before Harry could think of something to say in his defense, Severus surprised everyone by speaking up in his Keeper’s defense. His voice was soft and it waivered in places but Severus did not stop until he had said all that he needed to say.
“Harry did what I asked him to do. It was not his fault. I needed to defeat the monster before I could ever hope to heal. Harry gave that to me. Please don’t be angry.”
Harry quickly pushed past the two other wizards and knelt down next to the chair that Severus was in. Harry slowly reached out and gently tipped Severus’ chin up so that their eyes could meet.
“Love…thank you. You are so strong; first to face that monster and now to face your closest friends in my defense. I am in awe of how quickly you are gaining confidence in yourself and I am eternally grateful to be with you. Lucius and Marvolo are right it was foolish of me to let you do so much so soon. I am human and while I will always try to do my best there are times I will screw up. We were lucky that it went as smoothly as it did. I should have waited but I am also glad that we did not. You needed to see that you can defeat any monster that comes your way but I promise to be more careful with your wellbeing in the future.”
Lucius and Marvolo were suddenly reminded of how young the man in front of them was, he had barely reached adulthood and already so much was expected of him. Both men looked at each other and came to a silent agreement that they would not be so harsh in the future. Harry needed their support not their criticism. Lucius was the one to break the odd silence that had settled on the room after Harry’s speech.
“Harry, Marvolo and I owe you an apology. We are so quick to berate you and twice now have verbally attacked you when we are all working towards a common goal. Marvolo and I will do our best to remember that you are young and trying your best to help Severus, same as we are trying. Please accept our apologies.”
Harry accepted the apologies and invited the men to stay for lunch. The two men quickly agreed and lunch was spent in Severus’ sitting room. As the men talked and laughed with each other the past was not forgotten but slowly all four men started to heal.