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Yet Another Kingdom Hearts Parody: Kingdom Hearts II

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~HEY, DID YOU KNOW THAT KINGDOM HEARTS WAS A COMBINATION OF DISNEY AND SQUARE ENIX?! WE SURE DIDN’T!~

Sora: Why am I standing at the crossroads from Chain of Memories? Oh, right, symbolic narration: A scattered dream that’s like a far-off memory is the same as a far-off memory that’s like a scattered dream. I wanna line the pieces up; yours and mine. Which is why there are now collectible puzzle pieces in the Final Mix version. Hurrah-face.

Sanctuary: *starts playing*

Kairi: Oh, I love this song! *is making the thalassa charm on the beach at sunset*

Thalassa shell: *gets washed away by the tide*

Kairi: Whatever, I didn’t need that one anyway. *is now sitting on a palm tree with Sora and Riku’s leaning next to it* Wait, wasn’t I in the middle and Sora was on the other end?

Riku: You totally were but we need to set up a very confusing set-up.

Sora: Which is presumably why you’re dissolving into sand right now.

Kairi: Huh, so I am.

Riku: Me as well.

Sora: I don’t seem all that fussed for some reason. *jumps off the island which also dissolves into sand and lands with Donald and Goofy directly at the Hollow Bastion waterfall which is crawling with Shadows* …I don’t remember there being any Heartless in this area.

Donald: Me neither.

Goofy: Me neither! A-hyuk!

Sora: Oh well, might as well slaughter them. *slaughters them and climbs up a ways only to find himself immediately in the upper levels of the castle where Kairi’s unconscious body is* …Well that was fast. Oh, right, should probably try to shake her awake. *tries to shake her awake*

Rikusem: She won’t wake.

Sora: R-Riku? What do you mean she won’t wake? She’s not…

Rikusem: She’s still alive, but only just. *turns around and holds out his hand, and suddenly there’s a tidal wave behind him like back on the beach on their island*

Sora: Is this ever gonna make any fucking sense? *runs towards him, with his Keyblade drawn, and suddenly they’re back in Hollow Bastion having That One Boss fight*

Rikusem: *straight-up turns into Ansem*

Sora: *runs up and slashes downward at him* It is implied that this is what killed you.

Ansem: You’re just saying that because the doors to Kingdom Hearts are opening and I’m dissolving into light.

Riku: And this is me back to being a good guy and telling you to take care of Kairi and not to worry about what happens to me.

Sora: I’d get right on that if I wasn’t so confused about why it’s showing my heart leaving my body now instead of keeping the timeline consistent.

Kairi: Oh when have any of these montage flashbacks been in order. THE POWER OF HUGS COMPELS YOU!

Sora: YAY I’M ALIVE AGAIN!

Kairi: And now I’m on the beach again, during daylight hours, possibly flashing back to the time the island was put back together at fucking night.

Sora: *is fading into the distance* Yeah, that sure was pretty, wasn’t it.

Kairi: *transforms from her fourteen-year-old self in her white tank top, pink skort, and very short hair to her fifteen-year-old self with a very short pink dress with about seventeen zippers on it and slightly longer than shoulder-length hair* Look, ‘tis a time skip! *is still waiting on the beach*

Both Kairi and Naminé: Music will tie…

Kairi: …Wait, why did I suddenly act like I’m in some kind of music video.

Naminé: I don’t know but we’re showing off Chain of Memories now. *is sketching on her sketchpad* Check it, I drew something that was never in any of the games! *camera pans through her sketch of a giant spiral staircase with Heartless on it to an actual spiral staircase with Heartless on it*

Sora: *is mowing down Heartless* Is this supposed to be symbolic of all the floors we kept climbing in this game?

Goofy: Probably. *smashes down on a Shadow with his shield* Man, this must be confusing for people who didn’t play Chain of Memories.

Donald: Aw phooey, who didn’t play it by this point?

Sora: That’s easy to say now with three different ways to play it, one of them being on the same disk as the first game, but back when this originally came out and people were reluctant to use the internet because dial-up was still used in far too many homes, a lot of players didn’t even know this game existed and were very confused until the strategy guide talked about it. And then they went and played it having already finished this one.

Riku: I guess I know Thundaga or something since I just got rid of the rest of the Heartless for you.

DiZ: Wasn’t that special of him.

Sora: *is in the normal white rooms of Castle Oblivion again* …That happened. Also I just noticed my hair’s been a shade lighter this whole time, that’s weird.

Marluxia: So it is. Wanna fight?

Sora: Why not, I don’t have friends to save.

Riku: Hey cool, I’m fighting Ansem at the same time that you’re fighting Marluxia! Even though you defeated him before I even came across Zexion!

Sora: Looks like we were right about everything being out of order. Also why are you going down the other side of the staircase that I’m going up?

Riku: Well, I was going through the basement while you were taking the main floors, but yeah, we were both going upstairs, this is weird.

Goofy: Half-baked symbolism?

Donald: Because these openings needed anymore of that—HOLY SHIT WAS THAT THE KING?!

Mickey: For the briefest of seconds, yes, I was running down with Riku.

Naminé: That’s actually a pretty neat little Easter Egg. Speaking of…

Sora: *opens the door to the room she’s in* Speaking of what?

Naminé: You’re in a giant glass egg now! I have drawn it and that makes it so apparently!

Sora: …This implies that you did that immediately and possibly without my consent and that I have no idea what’s going on.

Naminé: Angels in flight…

Sora: What the fuck is that supposed to mean why am I sleepy. *falls into light and starts sailing backwards through a white space, still unconscious; the white background shatters to reveal Sora flying back to the Destiny Islands*

Naminé: Aww, I drew a sleepy Sora, how adorable. *closes sketchbook*

Sora: *is holding hands with an unconscious Riku and an unconscious fourteen-year-old Kairi* Oh good, more symbolism that I can’t decipher.

Roxas: You think you have a problem. *is dunked into some very deep water and is extremely far down before he opens his eyes* Huh, I seem to have no problem breathing down here. *lands on some kind of bottom and looks around* How the hell do I get out of here.

Birds: *fly up from the bottom revealing a stain glass image of a sleeping Sora holding a Keyblade with smaller images of Riku, Kairi, Donald, and Goofy near him*

Roxas: …How the fuck can birds fly underwater. Am I even still underwater right now, what the shit is happening.

Scenery: *changes to the beach in the Realm of Darkness*

Xemnas: *is sitting on a rock on the beach*

Roxas: *takes a Dark Corridor into the area*

Both of them: *have their hoods up*

Xemnas: Hey! So I’ve been to see him. Which must mean that continuity puts my optional fight with him in Final Mix at about six days after he turned into a Heartless and you were created. Good to know. He looks a lot like you. Not as much as Ventus, but age him up a year and change his hair and you two would still look exactly the same.

Roxas: I don’t think we’ve met yet, and if we have I don’t remember.

Xemnas: I’m what’s left…or maybe I’m all that ever was. Again, whether I’m talking about Master Xehanort or Terra is not a hundred percent clear.

Roxas: THE NAME! GIVE ME THE WRETCHED NAME!

Karkaroff: BARTY CROUCH!

Rita Skeeter: Gasp!

Karkaroff: Junior.

Roxas: Seriously, who are you?

Xemnas: No one of consequence.

Roxas: I must know.

Xemnas: Get used to disappointment.

Roxas: ‘Kay.

Xemnas: What about you? Do you remember what your real name was before we switched letters around and threw in an X?

Roxas: …Not really.

Kai—: Sora?

Sora: *opens his eyes* GAAH. Fucking sun… *sits up* Oooooh, beach pretty… *yawns widely, falls back down again*

Kai—: *fuzzily elbow drops him* I’ve been watching you sleep.

Sora: WHAT THE FLYING FUCKING SHIT FUCK. *gets up in a kneeling position*

Kai—: Gigglesnort.

Sora: Never. Do. That. Again.

Kai—: I SAID RUN, SLAVES!

Sora and Riku: *instantly start running*

Riku: Are we whipped or are we just that competitive?

Sora: Little of column A, little of column B.

Riku: I’ve just been kind of wondering about…well, everything recently, you know? The meaning of life and all that? Why were we born here, on this particular collection of islands? Why weren’t we born somewhere else? Did we choose to be born here, or did some type of higher being guide us here? I guess I just wanna go out and try to find some kind of answer for myself. I really want there to be other worlds, really, because if there are then that means there is far more going on than we thought, and we’ll really have a chance to be part of something bigger than ourselves.

Sora and Kai—: OUR FACES ARE FUZZY AS SHIT.

Brown coat guy: This world has been tied in with the rest of the Disney movies and that one giant Final Fantasy meet-up place.

Sora: There actually weren’t too many Final Fantasy guys from Hollow Bastion, come to think of it, the rest were in Twilight Town. Though I suppose seven is more than four, but still, the hell are you talking about?

Brown coat guy: Tied to the darkness, soon to be completely eclipsed.

Sora: WE JUST SAID WE WEREN’T DOING BERSERK. THIS IS A CHILDREN’S GAME, RIKU CANNOT DO THAT TO KAI— IN A CHILDREN’S GAME.

Kai—: Sora, don’t ever change.

Sora: …Can I change my outfit next year when my voice drops and my hair inexplicably lightens slightly?

Kai—: Yeah, sure, that stuff’s fine. *stands up* I just can’t wait. Once we set sail, it’ll be great.

Riku: The door…has opened…

Sora: What?

Riku: I said the door has opened, Sora, learn to listen!

Sora: Riku, you’re stretching out your hand in an uncannily similar way to the Riku from my vision. Also you appear to be being consumed by darkness.

Riku: Yes, this is apparently a thing. *vines of darkness start wrapping around him*

Sora: Okay, I’m gonna just drag you outta that shit, hope you don’t mind — shit, the darkness is coming. *is also being consumed by darkness*

Riku: Just relax…Let it happen, Sora…

Sora: I need an adult!

Riku: I…I got nothing, sorry. *darkness consumes both of them momentarily*

Darkside: Well, old chap, I do believe this world seems to be crumbling before our very eyes!

Sora: I noticed that, yes.

Kai—: *turns around* Sora…Let my heart take refuge in yours, m’kay?

Door to darkness: *opens, blasting Kai— straight into Sora, literally*

Sora: …What the fuck just happened. *gets blasted backward by the darkness*

~This game is so fucking padded with montages.~

Roxas’s room in Twilight Town: *is pretty well furbished and full of crap he probably uses for a room that doesn’t actually exist*

Roxas: Where did I get these pajamas, anyway. *sits up* I’m complaining about a dream I had about another guy. Instant shipping fodder, and I’ve only been onscreen for all of ten seconds. Yep, this is gonna be a fun one. *opens window and sticks head outside* Let the insane amount of confusion commence! *eventually gets dressed and heads out toward the usual spot*

Twilight Town Title Card: …Wait, did he just wake up when the sun was finally setting, or does the time of day never change around here, is it one of those planets?

Hayner: *is sitting on a pipe or something while Pence is sitting on a box, and they’re talking animatedly while Olette’s listening to them from a sofa, and Roxas is sitting some distance away on a different box staring at his hands as if he’s not entirely sure he’s actually there* Man, I’m fucking pissed right now.

Pence: You’re right! You’re not wrong! In fact you’re correct!

Olette: Seifer’s a steamboat motherfucker.

Pence: He’s a steamboat motherfucker, what does that mean?!

Olette: I don’t know, I just made it up, I figured it would be good.

Hayner: EARTH TO ROXAS! ARE YOU LISTENING?!

Roxas: Huh? Sorry, what?

Hayner: DAARGH!! *has anger veins in his hands, that can’t be healthy* We’re talking about how to clear our names! Listen up, man! *stands up* Yes, shit’s been stolen, or reportedly stolen, all over town. Yes, we have a not-so-friendly rivalry with Seifer’s gang. If he wants to blame us for something that was stolen from him, then sure, fine, whatever, but he doesn’t have to make us public enemy number one!

Roxas: Come to think of it, when I was on my way here…When I went to get my textbooks, the bookstore was closed, even though I timed it so it would be open!

Olette: You mean the textbooks we won’t need?

Roxas: Yeah, figured I’d get the one set for the group to share and you’d all pay me back in ice cream and favors throughout the year.

Pence: We can handle that!

Roxas: But then a dog chased me off, and I stepped on some gum! Everywhere I looked, the shops were closing left and right…I knew there had to be some reason for all that bad luck.

Hayner: You’re blaming everyone treating us like thieves because you stepped on some gum?

Roxas: Nah, just the rest of it, but the gum didn’t improve my mood, you know?

Hayner: True enough. So what’re we supposed to do about all this, anyway?

Pence: Murder Seifer? It’ll be more high profile than usual, but if we can’t think of anything else…

Hayner: Yeah, kill his whole gang with the power of burning rage and such!

Roxas: The power of burning rage and such?

Hayner: Yeah, that-that’s what I said.

Olette: Roxas, throw him off!

Roxas: R-Right. Um, if we find out what’s actually happening, we could clear our names?

Pence: That sounds better, I’d hate to waste good arsenic.

Hayner: Awww, I wanted to kill Seifer!

Roxas: Maybe later, we want to recreate our images as innocent before we carry out the dark shit again, throw people off our scents and all that.

Hayner: Stop using logic on me.

Pence: Ah, shit! *looking at his camera* Our ______ are gone! *blinks and clutches his neck*

Hayner: You trying to mess with us, Pence?

Pence: No, I’m trying to tell you that all our ______ are gone!

Hayner: Hang on, one more time, I’m trying to read your lips.

Pence: Okay, “______.”

Hayner: Oh, you mean ______? Then why not just say ______? Hang on, why can’t I say ______. *clutches his own neck*

Olette: *covers her mouth with her hand* Why can’t we say ______? This is too fucking bizarre.

Pence: Tell me that what I said came clear to you. They are gone now, after all.

Roxas: Probably stolen, like with everything else in town. And not just the actual ______, but the very word itself. This must’ve been frustrating for people just beginning to play this game for the first time who can’t really read lips all that well.

Hayner: It’s kind of weird how no one’s freaked out by this. But seriously, how the balls can you steal a fucking word? It’s not like we’re all computer constructs living in some kind of virtual reality! In any case, this is way too powerful for the likes of Seifer to pull off. Argh…I wanted to avoid this, but it’s time to talk to people. Roxas, get ready to talk to people for us so we won’t have to!

Roxas: Saw that coming. *watches as Hayner, Pence, and Olette all run ahead of him, then starts to follow them when he suddenly passes out*

DiZ: His heart is returning. He’ll probably wake up soon so the game can actually begin.

Roxas: *slowly comes to and gets back up* Was that…Christopher Lee? Did they actually get him in this game?! HOLY SHIT THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING. *dusts his pants off* How long was I out?

Olette: Roxas, are you coming, or…?

Roxas: Sorry, got a little dizzy there for a second.

Olette: You okay?

Roxas: Yeah, probably just stress.

Olette: Well let us know if something worse happens, okay?

Roxas: I will. *follows her down to Tram Common*

Hayner: We’re over by the clothing store! As you can plainly see with your fully-functioning eyeballs!

Roxas: YAY I CAN MOVE!

Tutorial: This is how you move—

Roxas: Have the controls radically changed from the vanilla version?

Tutorial: …Not so much…

Roxas: Then I have played this game to completion eleven times and do not need your help.

Tutorial: Touchy…

Pence: What Roxas said, let’s just get this shit started already.

Some rando: Can’t believe you’d sink so low, Roxas. I believed in you, man!

Roxas: Why does everyone think we did the bad thing?!

Olette: …I’m not sure it’s us collectively anymore.

Some rando: Yeah, there’s kind of a shitton of evidence against you specifically.

Roxas: Like what?

Some rando: You know exactly what. Go talk to someone else, I don’t even wanna look at you anymore.

Roxas: Well thanks so much.

Hayner: To the accessory shop girl owner person we go!

Roxas: Whoa, I have control again.

Pence: Hey, did you know you could talk to people, ‘cause I sure didn’t!

Olette: Talking to people sure is great! You should try it sometime!

Hayner: Yo, you should try talking to people.

Some rando: The promoter of this Struggle battle sure makes people struggle. It’s a real struggle putting up these posters. Tram Common is huge!

Roxas: So it is, I’m gonna run around and explore it! *runs around and jumps around and checks out every inch of the area* Damn this brings back memories…Not sure why they involve me dressed in black and being able to jump way higher, though. Or memories of monsters. Eh, I’m sure it’s nothing, probably just more dream stuff. *gets bored and goes to talk to the Accessory Shop girl owner person*

Accessory Shop girl owner person: So apparently you bought a shitton of bling from me in the past and now you’re a thief, which is not cool. I don’t want to believe you’re a thief, though.

Roxas: I’m not a thief!

Accessory Shop girl owner person: So you say.

Olette: Why do I get the feeling that if we tell them that something was stolen from us as well, they’d be more inclined to think differently?

Pence: Don’t tell anyone! You know what logic does to people, just look at Hayner!

Olette: Ah, right!

Roxas: It’s not cool being Twilight Town’s most wanted for something I didn’t do, okay? There is plenty of stuff I did do and even more stuff we’ve all helped Pence do, but this isn’t one of them, got it?

Accessory Shop girl owner person: Try telling that to the woman who owns the candy store.

Roxas: I will!

Old woman: Before you talk to me about the plot, find my cat.

Roxas: You mean the one up on the awning?

Pence: WHERE OH WHERE COULD THAT CAT BE? IT’D BE FUNNY IF IT WERE SOMEWHERE REAL CLOSE!

Hayner: Hey, you should try using your fully functioning eyeballs to see things, I hear that’s useful.

Olette: I don’t see it anywhere! We should scour this whole massive area!

Roxas: I’m up to my tits in morons. *locks onto the cat*

Old woman: Well at least you can still do one thing right.

Roxas: Just so you know, we didn’t do the other thing either.

Old woman: While that’s normally the most suspicious thing one can utter, I instantly believe you.

Roxas: So what did they take from you?

Old woman: A ______. Damn it, why can’t I talk?!

Roxas: You’re not the only one, ma’am, trust us.

Hayner: So her ______’s probably stolen, like with everything else in town. And not just the actual ______, but the very word itself.

Pence: …WE JUST FUCKING ESTABLISHED THAT, YOU FUCKING DICK WAFFLE.

Olette: …Should we just ask Seifer what happened to him and why he would blame us?

Roxas: That’s a good idea. He may not have done it but he still might have set us up. *leads the way to the Sandlot* YO VIVI’S IN THIS GAME!

Vivi: And so then we went to a village hidden up in a tree that was populated by giant anthropomorphic rats that occasionally like to river dance — Oh, it’s those guys!

Fuu: Phew.

Rai: Yeah, that’s just so unrealistic, y’know?

Vivi: *adjusts hat in frustration* Least my game’s enjoyable…

Rai: I don’t get what he means, y’know?

Fuu: Drawing.

Rai: …I now get what he means, y’know? Also what you guys did really sucks ass, y’know?

Hayner: Fuck you!

Seifer: Snappy comeback. *walks in*

Hayner: You have no idea how stupid your outfit is in this game. And it’s not much of an improvement from your former one, either.

Seifer: You’re just jealous of my glorious midriff.

Hayner: That’s neither here nor there!

Seifer: So you gonna give us back the ______ or what?

Rai: Yeah, you’re literally the only ones who would’ve done all this, y’know?

Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette: …No. No we don’t. We’ve asked around and we still don’t get it.

Seifer: Well in our case, you stole proof that we’re better than you. Not that we need it, but it’s just fun to have. So what’d you do with it? Make a hat? A brooch? A pterodactyl? Feh, who cares, everyone knows we’ll always be better than you anyway.

Roxas: Please, not even Vivi can make you guys look cool.

Fuu: Murder.

Seifer: Any day of the week. Or you can blow me.

Roxas: *steps forward*

Hayner: …Dude, seriously?

Roxas: There are three clubs at his feet, what do you think I’m doing.

Hayner: Oh, that’s actually a way better idea.

Roxas: …Holy fuck I can talk to everyone before I pick up a weapon. Eleven full playthroughs and I never noticed that before. And boy is it a good thing that Seifer’s not attacking me while I’m thinking.

Hayner: I’m suggesting you go with defense, of all things.

Olette: No, kick his ass! Use pure offense!

Pence: I like how no one’s advocating magic. But either way, I know several good places to hide the bodies.

Hayner, Roxas, and Olette: We know.

Rai: Seifer won’t waste his time taking you guys seriously, y’know! He only uses his most powerful attack when in trouble, y’know!

Roxas: Well thanks for pointing that out so I know when to dodge.

Fuu: Cakewalk.

Roxas: Yeah, for me.

Seifer: So, you’re feeling up to it? Take your time picking a weapon — not that it’ll matter.

Roxas: Uh-huh, sure…HOLY SHIT I CAN TALK TO VIVI yay-face.

Vivi: I miss Zidane and the others…Can’t believe I’m wasting my limited lifespan hanging out with these losers…

Roxas: Sorry, bro. *picks up the Struggle club that focuses on offense and gets added Strength from it*

Pence: Roxas, don’t fuck it up!

Roxas: Whatever. *knocks back Seifer’s club and hits him three times*

Seifer: Isn’t this romantic! *attempts to attack Roxas*

Roxas: I regret to inform you that I don’t swing that way, and also that Squall’s on another planet and probably wouldn’t tap your jailbait ass anyway considering he’s way older than you in this universe. *dodges Seifer’s attacks and repeats strategy until Seifer’s defeated* Well that was appallingly easy.

Hayner: *waggles his hands over his head* Ha ha ha! Gotta change your diaper, Seifer?

Seifer: I’m not a sore loser, honest.

Rai: And therefore we’re gonna be sore losers in your place, y’know!

Fuu: Exactly.

Vivi: …I’m not even gonna bother anymore…

Pence: Everyone say “Chocolate Frogs!” *takes picture of Roxas standing in front of Rai and Fuu, all three of which are blocking the defeated Seifer so what’s the point*

Dusk: *pops out of nowhere and steals the camera*

Pence: …DID ANYBODY SEE THAT?!

Dusk: *flips all over the place and out of the area*

Hayner: What the fuck was the crazy flippy guy?

Olette: It just stole our camera! GASP! Could it be the thief!?

Hayner, Pence, and Olette: LET’S RUN AFTER IT!

Roxas: …Why am I the only following it into the woods, then?

Hayner: Well in the manga time stopped so we didn’t catch up with you until it was all over, but that would make sense so why include that in-game.

Roxas: True. *follows the Dusk to the old mansion* WHAT A MANSION! And why did I feel the urge to bash the trees I just passed.

Dusk: You must interact with me to continue, otherwise I will continue to stand here and never cause trouble for anyone.

Roxas: Can I beat you up while you’re not moving?

Dusk: Sure, but it won’t have any effect.

Roxas: Okay, I’ll interact with you.

Dusk: You’re the boss, boss.

Roxas: …Wait, boss?

Dusk: I have a zipper mouth. *unzips zipper mouth so it can growl at Roxas*

Roxas: Oh good. *tries to beat it up and avoid it at the same time considering he’s on Critical, but the club doesn’t affect it at all* Crap baskets, now what.

Struggle Club: *is digitally transformed into a Keyblade*

Roxas: …Okay, how the shit did that happen. And why is it automatically pointing at the Dusk.

Dusk: I’m pretty sure it wants you to destroy me.

Roxas: …OKAY. *destroys it* Sure hope I didn’t just murder someone!

Manga version: *has more than one pop up, forming a cage around Roxas and opening a Dark Corridor that they try to drag Roxas into and then the Keyblade shows up, but that would be cool so fuck that noise*

Roxas: That and this is the tutorial section, don’t throw everything at me at once.

Dusk: *explodes into photographs*

Keyblade: *disappears*

Roxas: …Do I at least still have my club or something? *gathers up all the photographs and heads back to the Usual Spot*

Hayner: *holding one of the photos* What’s this?

Roxas: I was Some Rando’s first customer when he took over the shop.

Olette: Yeah, not your greatest photo, though—HOLY BALLS WE CAN SAY PHOTO AGAIN HALLELUJAH.

Pence: Why did none of us try saying the word “picture” all this time, I wonder.

Hayner: So what did this guy look like, anyway?

Game Roxas: Oh, the pictures were lying there when I got there.

Manga Roxas: …Did you not see the flippy, flexible grey guy with the zipper mouth flip around and swipe Pence’s camera?! Also where were you guys, why did I get there first?

Olette: I think our memories were deleted.

Roxas: Sorry?

Hayner: Who cares, the point is we don’t have someone to pin the blame on anymore! Oooooh, here’s Roxas with a giiiiirl.

Olette: So didja manage get past first base with her?

Roxas: Up to third.

Olette: Nice!

Pence: Actually, we do have someone to pin this on. Whoever stole all these pictures that have Roxas in them was obviously stalking Roxas.

Olette: …That’s really creepy.

Hayner: Have you noticed anybody going through your trash?

Olette: You’d better make sure to keep your curtains closed and door locked.

Pence: Yeah, and you should check your phone and TV for bugs!

Roxas: Does this town have police, I forget, but I really want to file a report now.

Pence: No kidding, we might be looking at a potential kidnapper here.

Hayner: LET’S JUST LAUGH OFF THIS VERY SERIOUS ISSUE!

Roxas, Pence, and Olette: OKAY! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Roxas: Train’s passing.

Olette: We should go. And tomorrow we should start working on our homework.

Hayner: Nah, I say we procrastinate as long as possible.

Olette: What?! You could at least be a little panicked! Your homework’s completely blank, Hayner!

Hayner: IT’S THE BEAUTY OF EMPTINESS!

Pence: Oy vey. *leaves after them*

Roxas: Time for me to leave too, I guess. *steps out and gets blinded by the sunlight* How can it be this bright if it’s perpetually setting.

Sora: I’m the little voice in your head.

Roxas: You sound vaguely different from my usual inner voice.

Sora: So do you, what’s going on?

~Restoration at 12%.~

Riku: *walks up to DiZ who’s working at a computer with like ten different screens*

DiZ: Yeah, we got Nobodies working up in this bitch now.

Riku: That sucks. But why would they steal photographs?

DiZ: They can’t distinguish between an image and the real thing. Lucky for us, really. Naminé’s got to start moving her ass if she wants to get the game up and running properly again. *looks back at Riku* That outfit becomes you.

Riku: C-Cut it out. I’m not wearing it because I like it, b-b-baka.

DiZ: Heh heh heh…Indeed.

~And then the manga has a thing where the Dusks are handing Axel photos of Roxas and he burns them in annoyance, it’s kind of funny when you know who he is.~