Chapter Text
Nancy Wheeler sat on a park bench in Hawkins downtown, smoking a cigarette. She wasn’t proud of the habit, but had picked it up from colleagues at the Boston Globe, and had begun to turn to them for all sorts of reasons. Working late on a difficult article, celebrating a friend’s birthday, to warm up whilst waiting for the train. Or as today found her, procrastinating in a state of misery as she avoided spending time with her family.
She hadn’t been home much in the last few years. Ever since Mike had finally stood up to their Dad, and moved to New York to be with Will the vibe was a little sour. Her parents’ always somewhat strained relationship, had graduated from quietly resentful to fractious. Her mum cried a lot, and kept in touch with Mike through secret phone calls her dad pretended not to know about. Holly stayed away almost as much as Nancy, but any chance he got, Ted Wheeler would hark on about the virtues of his “two children” before bemoaning the son he once had who was now being debauched in New York.
From what Nancy had heard, there wasn’t much debauched about Mike and Will’s life these days. They had a studio apartment and a cat that scratched their Afghan rugs. Will was trying to make a living from his art, and Mike worked in a bar. From what was said, they were happy and safe.
But again, she hadn’t heard much of this for herself. When everything blew up, Mike shunned Nancy for her attempts at organising a reconciliation. He was angry that despite all of her principals she wouldn’t cut her parents off like he had done. He was annoyed she had wanted them to try and speak. That for herself she had wanted to still call them and go for Christmas - that after all they’ve all been through she didn’t want to lose them as well. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand why Mike had reacted the way he did, or that she agreed with her Dad - quite the opposite. She was furious at her father for his actions, his prejudice, his hate. It was why she didn’t come home all that often. But the world was more complicated. And maybe she wasn’t brave enough to cut them off completely. Maybe she should. Maybe it would just do more harm than good. She took a drag from her cigarette. It was one of several moral quandaries she often turned over in her mind in quieter moments.
Every now and then Nancy would call their apartment in New York. Will will always talk to her, he’s always been the more forgiving of the two. But even then, their conversation’s a little bit reserved. After all, they both know Mike doesn’t really want them to talk, and what are you meant to say to your estranged little brother’s boyfriend, who also happens to be the little brother of your ex.
Jonathan.
Will never mentioned him when they talked, and to be honest she hadn’t thought of him much in recent years, only if she heard one of those god awful Clash records. The scar on her palm had long since healed, and a couple of summers ago she finally donated the jumper of his that had been under her pillow for many more years than it should have been. So by this point, the only thing she had of his was a box of photos she kept under her bed. They were beautifully shot in black and white, and he’d given them to her as a parting gift. As much as they reminded her of Jonathan, they reminded her of everything and everyone else. Of that time in general.
She took another long drag on her cigarette and wrapped her jacket tighter around her. She had told her mum she had some errands to run that afternoon. Karen Wheeler had looked at her with skepticism, but she knew better than anyone that Nancy probably needed a break. Yes, she’d only arrived on the morning of the 23rd, but that was more than enough time already in that suffocating house.
Downtown Hawkins had somewhat recovered from its military occupation. A lot of money had been poured in from somewhere to restore it, to rebuild the shops and erect new flower beds. It didn’t stop the inevitable decline that all small US towns were facing, nor had it removed some of the scars of the battles that has taken place there, but at least it looked nice. At least Nancy had a bench to smoke this god forsaken cigarette on.
Nancy was trying to decipher what the Christmas decorations in the budget hardware store were attempting to spell, when a familiar voice caught her attention.
“Nancy, Nancy Wheeler? Holy shit is that you?”
She looked round and in a sharp blue suit, with slightly more tamed - but still voluminous - hair was Steve. Steve Harrington.
Suddenly aware of the bad habit in her hand she stood up and extinguished the cigarette as she responded to him, “Steve! You’re the last person I expected to see.”
He pulled her in for an enthusiastic hug, before pulling back with a slight look of embarrassment across his face.
“Well, you are on my turf. This is Hawkins after all.”
She laughed, “well yes, I can’t disagree when you say it like that. I guess I was hoping for some anonymity as I reminisced this afternoon.”
“Oh don’t worry. You’re never going to be anonymous in Hawkins as long as I’m still hanging about.”
A slight pause.
“You look good Steve, I love this suit.”
“Thank you! I’m just wrapping up some last clients before the big man comes tonight. I work in real estate, getting houses for people, mainly families. And I guess at Christmas time people realise if they bought a bigger house they wouldn’t have to spend so much time with their folks next year.”
He smiled at his own joke. It was a bit of a cheap laugh, Nancy hadn’t reacted and could tell he was just a little bit uncomfortable.
“I mean, it’s not forever. But it got me out of Dad’s business, and I can make some money before well, I work out doing something else.”
“No it’s great! I’m so pleased to see you’re doing well and managing to get on in Hawkins Steve.” Nancy was primarily pleased she’d finally managed to say something, anything, “In fact, I’m pleased to see Hawkins manages to still be in one piece.”
“It doesn’t always feel like it. You know, I get reminders of all that, all the monsters and everything, all the time.” Steve chewed on his lip. “I actually resold Barb’s parents’ old house the other month.”
“Really?” Nancy was, she was ashamed to say, a bit surprised he remembered which house it had been.
“Yeah, they hadn’t lived there in a while obviously but I couldn’t help but think of them. Think of Barb.”
The air between them was quiet, but not awkward. There’s nothing else to say.
“So Nancy, what are you up to?”
“I live in Boston, and I work for the newspaper there. I’m doing really well at work, getting bylines and almost a front page. It’s not as glamorous as it sounds, but I have a small apartment in a cute neighbourhood. I share it with my boyfriend. I like Boston, I like my life. We, we have fun.”
Steve grinned, in fact, he almost laughed “I’m not surprised by the work news, we always knew you’d do something impressive, get out of Hawkins and show us all who’s boss - but boyfriend? I have to learn more. Who managed to finally get ya? More bouffant or bowl cut?”
Nancy winced at this comment. Steve had said it so lightly, with a loving though sneaky look in his eye, but she couldn’t take it that way. How had he joked about something from so long ago like it was relevant now? Sometimes she thinks of the ways the boys had tried to out do one another for her attention for a whole 18 months, all whilst the world was ending. She had found it excruciating, and annoying, and couldn’t believe they had been so stupid when there had been so much at stake. At 27, she could see with some hindsight that they had just been kids, both struggling with the situation they’d all been in. But as it often is the case with men, she wishes their coping mechanisms had been less irritating for the women around them.
“He’s an Adam.” She shot back at Steve. “He’s from Connecticut and works for the Bank of America, but does lots of volunteer work in his spare time.”
She wasn’t sure why she had added that last comment so pointedly. But something in her wanted Steve to know she hadn’t just ended up with some city-slicker who worked in an office and quaffed if it was Prosecco and not Champagne. Her Adam was kind and compassionate and cared about the world, he was just also a realist and after all they needed money to live.
“He sounds great. I’m really happy for you.” Steve smiled at her. His well wishes were clearly genuine. In place of his next sentence, he held up his left hand and wiggled his fingers, “If you were interested in this end, I’m married! Her name’s Lindsay. She’s great, we met at a friend’s wedding a couple of years ago. After it all happened, after life went back to “normal” and the military cleared out, and you went off to college, I wasn’t quite “Steve Harrington” for a while, lost my spark with the ladies you know. But that night she was there, looking beautiful, all smiles and good jokes and she brought him, me, back.”
The comment was so sweet, Nancy couldn’t help but smile.
He eagerly continued, “We’re actually expecting our first! It’s a bit sooner than we’d planned, but the real estate business is going well, so I guess there’s no time like now. And I have the first dibs as homes hit the market, so just working to secure us a bigger place. I’m hoping to get one of those new builds over on the east side of town so we can have all the space we need.”
This time it was her turn to hug him. “This is such wonderful news Steve. I really am so pleased for you.”
Although she meant them, the words came out a little stilted. The whole thing was making her feel a bit teary, in that bittersweet way things can. Here was Steve Harrington, still positive, still happy, getting everything he always wanted. Everything he deserved. And Nancy still didn’t really know what she wanted, and recently, in some ways she still felt as lost as she had when she’d been a 19 year old, emptying her heart to the boy she loved as the room around her filled with goo.
She pulled away to make an excuse, “I should probably head back to mum and dad’s. We’ve got some sort of Christmas Eve soirée to host, and mum will want me to help with the canapés.”
Steve squeezed her arms. “Yes of course send them my love. It’s been really good to see you.”
Steve pulled her back in for one last hug. And this time Nancy paid more attention. He was still the slight but sturdy boy she remembered him as. She smiled at herself - he even wore the same cologne. As she pulled away she leant down to pick up her purse. But some last updates burst out of Steve.
“Dustin’s doing well. By the way. He interned at NASA last summer, really is the genius we all knew him to be. Robin’s doing well as well, she actually works in radio now. Local radio, but still, she’s happy and gets to chat non stop for living. And, I don’t see much of them, but I hear Max and Lucas are loving life in San Diego. Lucas ended up in the army, but not in some grunt job. Dustin always says he’s “changing it from the inside.” If you saw those two goofing about though, you’d think nothing has changed.”
This time, Nancy had to make herself smile.
“That’s so great to hear.” It was great to hear, but it also made Nancy feel tired. Did everyone keep in touch apart from her? She shifted on her feet. Steve would want updates too. What could she even say?
“Um, Mike and Will live together in New York still, but I guess you already know that.” Steve nodded and she continued, “Holly’s studying philosophy at Berkeley. She’s loving it. Mum and Dad are fine, they’re still in the same house. Haven’t killed each other yet.” She laughed bitterly at her own comment, but quickly attempted to cover her tracks, embarrassed. “I haven’t got updates on anyone else I’m afraid.”
Steve smiled at her, but this time there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.
“Good to hear, good to hear. Well, I should wrap up what I have to do and get back to the family, a pregnant wife waits for no man.” The sadness was gone, and Steve was beaming. He really was where he needed to be. “But send my love to your family Nancy, it was really good to see you. Here’s my card, if you ever want to stay in touch.”
He passed her a cream business card from his jacket pocket. It looked expensive. Nancy took it and tucked it in her purse.
“Thanks Steve, I will. Have a good Christmas.”
They said goodbye and Steve started to walk away. Nancy was just considering if she should stay for one more cigarette when he turned round.
“Hey Nancy? Do you ever see him?”
Him. Of course he meant Jonathan.
“No, not since I left Hawkins.”
There was an eagerness in Steve’s response that tugged at something deep in Nancy.
“He’s doing well, really well. A photographer for Time magazine, big fancy office in New York. We get drinks whenever I’m in the city, which isn’t often but often enough. I don’t know, I just had to tell you, I thought, perhaps, you might want to know. We always end up talking about you.”
Talk about what? She wanted to ask. About back then? About now? What the hell do Steve and Jonathan talk about over drinks? How the hell did this arrangement even come about in the first place? But she knew she couldn’t ask these questions, not really, so she put them to the back of her mind, and swallowed.
“Wow, that’s great, I - Say hi to him for me the next time you’re in the big Apple. Goodbye Steve.”
Steve raised a hand at her to wave farewell in response and walked off, a slight bounce in his step.
Nancy exhaled. And before she had another thought, opened her purse to get a new cigarette. She needed to go home, but she needed to reflect on Steve’s last revelation to her first.