Work Header

wanna chat?

Chapter Text


the real ladybug™ added flour power, Adrien Agreste, & drop the bass to this group

the real ladybug™ renamed this conversation to “squad up”

flour power: What

the real ladybug™: i cant believe i didnt think of this before

drop the bass: bruh
what up with this skpye shit
discord is where its AT

flour power: ^^^

the real ladybug™: tf is discord
and one google search later i find ur all bigger losers than i originally thought

drop the bass: dude discord is like 100000x better

the real ladybug™: shut ur face memelord

drop the bass: adriens the one you should be calling memelord tbh

Adrien Agreste: Honestly. I’m a little offended

the real ladybug™: shut up

drop the bass: discord

the real ladybug™: I WILL KICK YOU

drop the bass: do it i dare you

the real ladybug™ removed drop the bass from this group

Adrien Agreste added drop the bass to this group

the real ladybug™: fuck u
i made the chat i say we stay here

drop the bass: the fuck kinda logic is that

the real ladybug™: GOOD LOGIC

Adrien Agreste: I’m gonna side with Alya here

the real ladybug™: HA

drop the bass: b r u h

Adrien Agreste: We’re already here. Besides, Skype won’t be that bad if it’s just the four of us

drop the bass: thats a lie and you know it

the real ladybug™: discord sounds like bullshit
fuck gamers

Adrien Agreste: Aren’t you trying to?

the real ladybug™: ………………………

drop the bass: oh shit

the real ladybug™: am i gonna have to wash ur mouth out with soap adrien agreste
is ur pure cinnamon roll act a lie
r u rlly a sinamon roll
bc istg

drop the bass: hey wasnt mar in this chat with us? where’d she go????

Adrien Agreste: I wouldn’t know

the real ladybug™: hmmmm
brb nerds

PM between the real ladybug™ and flour power

the real ladybug™: girl u good?

flour power: Yeah Im fine

the real ladybug™: k well u just sorta up and vanished on us
sure everythings good??

flour power: NO I CNAT TALK TO HIM

the real ladybug™: ohhhhh

flour power: YEAH OH
/muffled screaming

the real ladybug™: nah ull be fine

flour power: You are LYING!!!! Youre a LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the real ladybug™: mari srsly itll be fine
kids a loser like the rest of us

flour power: What if I just straight up die

the real ladybug™: ngl id be kinda impressed
but dont do that

flour power: D: D: D: D:

21:08 in squad up

the real ladybug™: i’m back w the love of my life

Adrien Agreste: Does that mean I get Nino?

the real ladybug™: u can have him

drop the bass: thats rude

the real ladybug™: sry mari and i r getting married
its gonna be a spring wedding

flour power: Who decided that?????

Adrien Agreste: Nino our wedding has to be better

drop the bass: well were probably already screwed on the cake

the real ladybug™: FUCK YEAH U R

drop the bass: first of all fuck you second of all adrien you better be paying for this

Adrien Agreste: FALL WEDDING

flour power: Al I assume Im making the dresses

the real ladybug™: hell yeaH!!!! ;*

drop the bass: bro?

Adrien Agreste: Do you want Gabriel originals or do you want me to see what strings I can pull?

flour power: You know Im seeing that we’ve got a distinct disadvantage here

the real ladybug™: shhh shhh
its cool
ill just sabotage their wedding

drop the bass: da fuck

Adrien Agreste: Yeah I call foul

the real ladybug™: i call it leveling the playing field

flour power: Im sure if you tried that on a teacher itd go over well

Adrien Agreste: True

the real ladybug™: wife!!!!!! how can u betray me like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flour power: Wait I thought we were still planning the wedding

drop the bass: bro i am not marrying someone with their full name as their skype name

the real ladybug™: ok but tbh
its not school marshmallow ur allowed to chill out and use bad grammar and spelling
u dont have 2 b a grandpa

drop the bass: dude texts like one

Adrien Agreste has changed their name to grandpa

grandpa: Happy?

drop the bass: wow

flour power: Better than when Alya made my contact name ‘girl’

the real ladybug™: bc ur the only girl for me babe

flour power: <3 <3 <3

drop the bass: o shit are we supposed to be this coupley

grandpa: I love you

the real ladybug™: wow pulling out the big guns

grandpa: I’m 100% sincere in saying that

drop the bass: wouldnt doubt it
love you too

flour power: I look away for two seconds

the real ladybug™: ye dont do that in group chats
its tru wuv

grandpa: Mawage

drop the bass: here we go

grandpa: Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday

the real ladybug™: well hes not wrong

flour power: Wtf is happening

grandpa: Mawage that bwessed awangment
That dweam wifin a dweam

the real ladybug™: /wipes tear/

grandpa: And wuv
Tru wuv

flour power: No really what the hell is happening

drop the bass: wait seriously????

the real ladybug™: SHHHHH

grandpa: Will fowow you foweva
So tweasure your wuv

the real ladybug™: skip to the end

grandpa: Have you the wing?

flour power: The wing????

drop the bass: have you never seen the princess bride???????

flour power: ……………

grandpa: No way

the real ladybug™: wow im an awful best friend

grandpa: I can quote almost the entire movie

drop the bass: thanks for your impressive demonstration dude

grandpa: Any time for the love of my life

drop the bass: aww bro


grandpa: Wow that spelling


grandpa has changed their name to old fart

Chapter Text


the real ladybug™: marinette is no longer deprived of the princess bride

drop the bass: ayyy nice

old fart: Did you like it?

flour power: The effects were shit

drop the bass: maybe but that humor

old fart: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

the real ladybug™: its an iconic™ movie

old fart: Honestly it’s why I started fencing

flour power: Seriously??

drop the bass: sweeeeeeet

old fart: Yeah! The actors did almost all the sword fight scenes themselves and I just thought that was so cool. Plus, opportunity to be an actual knight in shining armor

the real ladybug™: u r fucking adorable

drop the bass: youre my knight in shining armor dude <3

old fart: <3
And I’d love to continue this conversation, but I have a shoot tomorrow at six and I want to get some sleep first

drop the bass: wOW adrien agreste SLEEPING

the real ladybug™: lol

old fart: I’m going to ignore that. Goodnight!

the real ladybug™: night marsh!!

flour power: sleep well

drop the bass: love you bro

the real ladybug™: quick now that the goody two shoes is gone set everything on fire

drop the bass: wtf

the real ladybug™: lbr adrien is like 90% of the impulse control in this group

flour power: Yeeeeaaaahh no youre not setting my living room on fire

drop the bass: listen if you want fire just listen to my mixtape

the real ladybug™: thats it im breaking up w u

drop the bass: good thing i have adrien to love me then

the real ladybug™: well IM cuddling mari right now so whos the REAL WINNER

flour power: Um yes Im trying to enjoy bad animated movies and fall asleep so can we maybe chill in the group chat

drop the bass: yeah i got work in the morning anyway
peace out

flour power: Night! From Alya too shes just groaning about having already put her phone down

drop the bass: lazy butt



old fart has changed their name to undead zombie model

undead zombie model: A reminder to eat breakfast and drink some water. Hope you got more sleep than I did. See you whenever I get a break



drop the bass: damn dude youre actually sunshine
will do my man



the real ladybug™: the shit u ppl doing up so early

flour power: They have jobs
Please get off of me I cant feel my arm

the real ladybug™: sry boo



undead zombie model: What expression do you make when your mom brings you a big plate of spaghetti?

the real ladybug™: um
listen marsh my mom may be a chef but as a very mature teenager i make most of my own food
so my expression when i make myself a cup of instant noodles is kinda this dead inside thing

undead zombie model: …yeah not exactly what I was looking for

flour power: Modeling?

undead zombie model: Yeah. Not sure why this photographer always insists on using that metaphor

flour power: Go full on patronus on it
Happiest memories
Favorite jokes
People you love
Cast that patronus

undead zombie model: That might actually work

flour power: Youre welcome! Good luck!!!


13: 04 

drop the bass: bro you better be thinking of me



undead zombie model: Is everyone okay?

drop the bass: i was on the other side of the city
didnt even know it was happening until we got the news bulletin to stay inside
long way of saying
im good dude

undead zombie model: Alya? Marinette?

flour power: Im
Sorry hit enter

the real ladybug™: CHAT NOIR SAVED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drop the bass: whoa breathe babe

the real ladybug™: NEVER I GOT CLOSE UP PICS!!!!!!!

flour power: What do you mean he saved you?


undead zombie model: You should really be more careful, Alya. That sounds like a close call

the real ladybug™: pff i was fine noir had me
besides ladybug has her cleansing magic to save the day
no worries marshmallow
i will show up to ur house if u want a hug tho

flour power: Ladybug has her magic but
I mean we should probably still be careful right??

drop the bass: i guess that makes sense
but als not wrong about ladybug fixing everything

undead zombie model: I’m not home right now, but hugs would be appreciated. That was a more destructive akuma than usual, I think we should all be more careful

the real ladybug™: jeez when did u 2 become my parents

flour power: Just wanna see you safe love

the real ladybug™: sometimes u gotta put urself in danger for the scoop

undead zombie model: Or you could get the scoop from a safe distance?

the real ladybug™: marsh where u at
srsly turn on ur location
im hugging u stat

drop the bass: no way youre hugging adrien
i get to hug him first

the real ladybug™: #hugadrienagreste2k16 #giveadrienagresteahug2k16
make em trend

drop the bass: mar you better join in on this cuddle sesh

the real ladybug™ renamed this conversation to “cuddle pile”

the real ladybug™: i will literally drag u to adrien marinette dupain cheng

flour power: Sheesh Im on my way give me a sec



the real ladybug™: do u think pigeons have feelings
im asking for a friend

drop the bass: shut the fuck up



undead zombie model: Why does your friend want to know if pigeons have feelings?



the real ladybug™: why do u not have a normal sleeping schedule
its SUNDAY!!!!! sleep boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flour power: Al
Why were you thinking about pigeons at 3 in the morning

the real ladybug™: I JUST WAS!!!!!!!
dont judge me
this is a judge free zone

drop the bass: not kinkshame free

the real ladybug™: istg

drop the bass: i will kinkshame all of you

flour power left this group

the real ladybug™: oh no u dont

the real ladybug™ added flour power to this group

the real ladybug™: get ur ass back in here girl

drop the bass renamed this conversation to “im kinkshaming”

the real ladybug™: fuck u

Chapter Text


flour power: Does anyone get the physics homework cause Im beyond lost

undead zombie model: Yeah
What do you need help on?

the real ladybug™: NOPE

the real ladybug™ renamed this conversation to “HOMEWORK FREE ZONE”.

drop the bass: for once i agree

flour power: But physics

undead zombie model: I’ll PM you

the real ladybug™: …………………………….

drop the bass: whats that for
al theyre talking about hw

the real ladybug™: pM NOW

PM between the real ladybug™ and drop the bass

the real ladybug™: WHAT DO WE DO

drop the bass: about??

the real ladybug™: T H E M

drop the bass: wait for what

the real ladybug™: JESUS FUCK NINO

drop the bass: oh were on that again

the real ladybug™: i did not ask for ur sass

drop the bass: chill babe itll happen if its gonna happen

the real ladybug™: ur too chill about this

drop the bass: and youre not chill enough


drop the bass: never said that

the real ladybug™: UR THINKING IT

drop the bass: the fuck
you cant read minds al you have no idea what im thinking


drop the bass: well shit

the real ladybug™: UR DUMPT

drop the bass: damn and so close to three months


undead zombie model: Ok we’re done talking about homework, can we come back now

the real ladybug™: hmmmm
bring me coffee tomorrow morning?

undead zombie model: Sure

drop the bass: wait
what the fuck
why does she get coffee

undead zombie model: Do you want coffee?

drop the bass: yeah dude

undead zombie model: Mari you want anything?

flour power: I mean Im usually late?

undead zombie model: The magic of thermoses

flour power: Tea would be nice

undead zombie model: I can do tea

the real ladybug™: adrien agreste is the most important person in my life



drop the bass: hey al i got you some pics of the patrol tonight

the real ladybug™: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ur the best bf ever

drop the bass: i thought i was dumpt

the real ladybug™: never
love u babe <3 <3 <3



the real ladybug™: hey mar did i leave my notebook at ur house yesterday??



the real ladybug™: mari?

drop the bass: nah you had it in class today

the real ladybug™: hmmm idk where i put it

drop the bass: rip



drop the bass: adrien bro answer your phone



flour power: SORRY AL!!!!!!!! I was helping my dad with stuff

the real ladybug™: its cool girl
i found it anyway

flour power: Ok good because I want that dress design I doodled in the back cover

the real ladybug™: ill send u a pic

flour power: Thank you!!! Youre a life saver

the real ladybug™: i know ;)



drop the bass: thought id let you all know adrien isnt dead

the real ladybug™: well thats good
who was gonna be the sunshine in my life

flour power: excuse me

the real ladybug™: shit ur right
what did i do b4 coming to this school
i had no mari
i had no marsh
i had no light in my life

drop the bass: way to not mention your actual boyfriend

the real ladybug™: shhhhhhh im thanking the universe for giving us adrien agreste and marinette dupain cheng
as one should
join me

drop the bass: thank you universe

flour power: Youre both ridiculous

the real ladybug™: listen
light of my life
love of my life

flour power: ok?

drop the bass: is she pausing for dramatic effect
that doesnt work the same over text

undead zombie model: What’s happening?

flour power: Alyas being dramatic

drop the bass: so nothing new

the real ladybug™: adrien
i love u
u are my sun
my son
my pride and joy

undead zombie model: Thank you? I love you too

flour power: Um Nino is Alya ok?

the real ladybug™: I JUST LOVE U ALL SO MUCH

undead zombie model: Of course we can, but I think you probably need some sleep

the real ladybug™: the sun has spoken

flour power: If it werent after 22 Id come check on you but it is kind of late

undead zombie model: You were up pretty late last night with the akuma attack

flour power: Adriens right
Maybe you should go to bed

the real ladybug™: wait i thought u 2 were the children
i am your parents

drop the bass: i cant tell if im really tired or if i actually have no idea whats going on in this chat

flour power: Go with both

drop the bass: sounds good bro

the real ladybug™: i love u too nino
i love u and i love our children

undead zombie model: I feel like you lost me somewhere


flour power: Ok time for bed Al
We all love you too and we will see you in the morning

the real ladybug™: if the light of my life insists

flour power: She does

the real ladybug™: goODNIGHT

undead zombie model: Goodnight

drop the bass: what the fuck just happened

flour power: And that is what happens when Alya goes too many nights with not enough sleep

undead zombie model: How do you know how much sleep she gets?

flour power: Blog activity

undead zombie model: OH

drop the bass: yeah now that i think about it that shouldve been obvious

flour power: Not to mention it’s really easy to tell when she goes running after akuma after midnight

undead zombie model: Also true

drop the bass: dude it sucks that there are more night akumas
like i mean akumas suck in general
but man
it must really suck for chat and ladybug
i barely sleep when there are night akumas and im not even fighting

flour power: Maybe they nap during the day

undead zombie model: Or just run on not enough sleep
Like the rest of us

drop the bass: listen dude i know you run on like 5 hours of sleep but those two must run on even less
rip them

flour power: I was up late last night too
The akuma was close by, couldnt sleep
Talk to you tomorrow!

drop the bass: night mar

undead zombie model: See you tomorrow!

drop the bass: i think thats supposed to cue us to go to sleep too

undead zombie model: Sleep is for the weak

drop the bass: bruh
ill see you in the morning for coffee
night my man <3

undead zombie model: Night <3

Chapter Text


the real ladybug™: /loud groaning/

drop the bass: what up

flour power: I thought you were going to bed lile an hour ago

the real ladybug™: i cant SLEEP

drop the bass: did you try counting sheep

the real ladybug™: thats bullshit and u know it

drop the bass: bruh it works for some people

flour power: Just relax al

the real ladybug™: r U rlly telling ME to relax

flour power: Yes

undead zombie model: I thought everyone was going to bed?

the real ladybug™: then y arent U in bed m.???
im very disappointed in u

undead zombie model: Well if none of us are in bed are you disappointed in all of us?

the real ladybug™: do not try to logic me m.

drop the bass: it is too late for logic

flour power: You guys do remember that we have a test tomorrow

the real ladybug™: screw the test!!!!!!!!

undead zombie model: It took longer for her to say that than I expected

flour power: Meh

drop the bass: uhhhh

undead zombie model: What is it?

drop the bass: well
ive got a quesiton

undead zombie model: Go for it

drop the bass: what are the odds
that if theres an akuma attack
theyll postpone the test

the real ladybug™: AKUMA??!?!?!??!!

flour power: Shit

undead zombie model: I’d say it probably depends on where the akuma is, how long it lasts for, how destructive it is, how loud it is, if anyone aside from Ladybug and Chat get involved

flour power: Gtg I can hear someone coming up to my room gotta pretend Im sleeping

the real ladybug™: oh fUCK THAT THINGS HUGE

drop the bass: thats what she said


undead zombie model: Oh we aren’t talking in hypotheticals

drop the bass: dude

the real ladybug™: DID U JUST SWEAR
THE SUNSHINE CHILD SWORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

undead zombie model: I have noise canceling headphones in!

the real ladybug™ renamed this conversation “SUNSHINE SWORE”

drop the bass: its a good thing youre cute

the real ladybug™: NINO U COMING OR NOT

drop the bass: ok i actually dont trust you on your own right now ill be over asap
if i can sneak out

the real ladybug™: like thats a question



drop the bass: @ al
hmu when you finish posting so i know to yell at you if youre still online

the real ladybug™: psh ill be fine

drop the bass: bruh its almost 2

the real ladybug™: ur point???????

drop the bass: sleep babe

the real ladybug™: one day i will sleep
today is not that day

drop the bass: good thing its still technically night

the real ladybug™: no luv u no mo

drop the bass: im too tired for this shit

flour power: Youre still up?????????

the real ladybug™: the attack JUST ended what do u mean STILL

flour power: Are we really all saying screw the tesT?

the real ladybug™: FUCK THE TEST

drop the bass: GO TO BED


flour power: All your caps are making my head hurt

the real ladybug™: k y u still up boo?

flour power: Do you think anyone couldve slept through that???

drop the bass: adrien
and his noise canceling headphones

flour power: Maybe we all need to invest in those

the real ladybug™: f i n a l l y
why does uploading videos take 14 yrs i knew i shouldve just livestreamed all of it instea d of doing the interview separate

drop the bass: can we all sleep now

the real ladybug™: u couldve slept without me babe

drop the bass: no way if i go to bed before you youll never sleep

flour power: You two are already like an old married couple

the real ladybug™: at least we acted on our feelings oH SHIT

flour power: >:(
Im too tired to deal with this right now

the real ladybug™: just ask him out already

drop the bass: are we talking about

the real ladybug™: yes
who else do i talk about

drop the bass: ladybug and chat

the real ladybug™: k bUT LADYNOIR IS REAL

flour power: Alya come on its too late for this

but thats not the point
the point is the OTHER true love were talking about

drop the bass: can we matchmake in the morning

flour power: ^^^^

the real ladybug™: ugh FINE
u 2 r boring

flour power: goodnight

the real ladybug™: whatever

drop the bass: come on babe

the real ladybug™: im going im going

drop the bass: night



undead zombie model: Right so I’m bringing coffee today because you’re clearly all dead



the real ladybug™: :’)
what have we done
to deserve such precious sunshine in our lives
marsh <4

drop the bass: why is my phone blowing up

the real ladybug™: because marshmallow is the best <4 <4 <4

the real ladybug™ renamed this conversation to “adrien agreste: too good for this word. too pure”.

undead zombie model: It’s just coffee?

the real ladybug™: *my lifeblood

drop the bass: same

undead zombie model: My mistake



flour power: SHIT

the real ladybug™: u can do it!!!

undead zombie model: Gotta go fast

the real ladybug™: get the fuck out of here

drop the bass: will she make it?

flour power: SHUT THE FUCK UP



the real ladybug™: i die

flour power: Me too

the real ladybug™: i dont think i can cram anymore

drop the bass: well lunch is almost over

flour power: Crap I forgot to eat lunch

the real ladybug™: mari mari quite contrary
how does ur garden grow
with silver bells and cockleshells
and forgets-it-alls in a row

drop the bass: how the hell do you remember something like that but cant study for tests

the real ladybug™: duh
this is more important
and it rhymes

flour power: Ill just not eat lunch then

flour power has changed their name to starving and dying

the real ladybug™: u arent allowed ot die on me yet
were hanging out after school

starving and dying has changed their name to starving and dying inside

the real ladybug™: better

Chapter Text


starving and dying inside: The bags under my eyes are h u g e

drop the bass: bruh youre awake before 8???

starving and dying inside: :P
I cant find my under eye concealer anywhere D’:
Ughhhhh wtf I look like I got punched in the face

the real ladybug™: ayy morning mari my love
but thats to be expected i mean
who can get any sleep with all these akuma attacks??

drop the bass: adrien

undead zombie model: What?

drop the bass: and his noise canceling headphones

the real ladybug™ renamed this conversation to “noise canceling headphones”.

starving and dying inside: WHere did it gooooo???????????
Come back to me concealer
D: D: D:

undead zombie model: Do you want to borrow some of mine?
We don’t have the same skin tone but I found some stuff that I had for winter and never got rid of, and it supposedly adjusts to your skin tone? It might be better than nothing

starving and dying inside: !!!!!!!!
<3 <3 <3
Youre literally a lifesaver
I could kiss you

the real ladybug™: do it

starving and dying inside: Wait what

undead zombie model: Haha no problem, I’ll bring it to school?

starving and dying inside: Sounds good!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

drop the bass: bro
why are you never hitting me up with fancy makeup

undead zombie model: I mean I can
You’d have to give me a few days though because I don’t have anything in your skin tone

drop the bass: nah no need
ive told you i love you right
because bro i love you

PM between the real ladybug™ and starving and dying inside

the real ladybug™: u r literally killing me here mar

starving and dying inside: Oh my god please shut up

the real ladybug™: just ask him out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
going offline will not save u
ill see u at school then
u lovesick loser

14:04 in noise canceling headphones

the real ladybug™: do u think if i just screamed really loudly chat and ladybug would come to me

drop the bass: dude what the fuck

the real ladybug™: pls take this seriously

starving and dying inside: How would they hear you?? I dont think they have superhearing

the real ladybug™: CHAT NOIR DOES

starving and dying inside: Um
Not one

undead zombie model: How can you not love Chat Noir?
Or Ladybug ?

the real ladybug™: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
sunshine son asking the real questions

drop the bass: yeah come on mar

starving and dying inside: Im sorry I dont know everything about ladybug and chat

the real ladybug™: apology accepted
thats y u have me
to tell u these things
now do u think itll work

undead zombie model: I’m going to take a guess and go with no

drop the bass: yeah gonna have to side with adrien here
probably not gonna happen babe

the real ladybug™: this is rude

undead zombie model: Just being honest
Besides, what if Chat’s superhearing doesn’t work when he’s not Chat Noir?

the real ladybug™: ……..

starving and dying inside: There goes your plan huh?

the real ladybug™: shhhhHHHH IVE GOT THIS

the real ladybug™ has renamed this conversation to “endless screaming. forever.”.

undead zombie model: Well I guess that’s one way to handle it

the real ladybug™: they will hear me eventually

drop the bass: jfc



the real ladybug™: ok what about this

starving and dying inside: Uh oh

drop the bass: i knew this chat was too quiet

the real ladybug™: shut up this has nothing to do with screaming

undead zombie model has renamed this conversation to “nothing to do with screaming”.

the real ladybug™: marshmallow  plEASE

undead zombie model: Continue

the real ladybug™: u know how when ladybug and chat do press stuff theres like a million people around
what if like
they were in an area w a speaker system
and someone hacked it
and started blasting music

starving and dying inside:  ?????

undead zombie model: Good question

drop the bass: what the hell babe why would anyone do that

the real ladybug™: what if someone did that
what would happen

starving and dying inside: Music would be playing????????

the real ladybug™: ye but like
what would happen

undead zombie model: I think this is a sign that no one has been able to get enough sleep the past few weeks

the real ladybug™: marsh
what if

undead zombie model: People would probably be confused?

drop the bass: maybe someone would dance
idk bro
go to bed

the real ladybug™: like what if this just started playing

undead zombie model: Um

drop the bass: why are we going back to 2009

starving and dying inside: ^^^^^
Why are you listening to the black eyed peas at almost midnight

the real ladybug™: it jUST HAPPENED OK

starving and dying inside: Why chat/????

the real ladybug™: hes probably a gr9 dancer lbr

starving and dying inside: Yeah not sure where you got that idea

undead zombie model: I don’t know, I think he probably has some moves

starving and dying inside: Oh god

drop the bass: alya
are you at home

the real ladybug™: ummmmmmmmm y???

drop the bass: fucking boom boom pow is going to be sTUCK IN MY HEAD FOR THE REST OF TIME

the real ladybug™: r i p

drop the bass: were OVER

the real ladybug™: i got that boom boom pow

undead zombie model: I don’t remember this song

drop the bass: dude
dont listen to it
dont do it
itll be stuck in your head for forever

starving and dying inside: until 3008

the real ladybug™: UR SO 2000 AND LATE

drop the bass: why is this happening to me

the real ladybug™: let it happen

drop the bass: dont do this

the real ladybug™: THIS BEAT BE BUMPIN BUMPIN



undead zombie model: I’m never going to be able to sleep
This song is stuck in my head


drop the bass: can hawk moth please akumatize me so i can fight you

the real ladybug™: COME AT ME BROOOOOOO

starving and dying inside: G O  T O  B E D  H O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O L Y  S H I T



drop the bass has changed their name to rockin’ the beats




Chapter Text


rockin’ the beats: you think lb and cn will let me tag along to punch hawk moth in the face?  

the real ladybug™: sign me tHE FUCK UP



the real ladybug™: u think i could start outsourcing ladyblog stuff 2 ppl who dont have curfew cuz like
this is cramping my groove

rockin’ the beats: ‘cramping your groove’??????

the real ladybug™: ye cramping my groove
got a problme with it m. off the chain??

rockin’ the beats: fuck you



the real ladybug™: guys
what the hell is this commericla
the duck
theyr bowling w perfume
i dont

starving and dying inside has changed their name to shut up im sleeping

undead zombie model has changed their name to dead model

rockin’ the beats has changed their name to fuck this

the real ladybug™: k
fuk u
all of u
and pls explain this commerical
y would u bowl perfmue bottles

shut up im sleeping: Why are you still awake
The attack ended five minutes ago

the real ladybug™: lol
5 minutes
fuck hawk moth
right in the butt
kick him in the dick
and when he falls to the ground
kick him in the side
i need hawk moth to b l e e d

fuck this: holy shit

dead model: That was too graphic for 4 in the morning

the real ladybug™: its never too early for literally murdering hawk moth
where the fukc is my sleep

fuck this: babe please go to bed

the real ladybug™: im literally dying

shut up im sleeping: Alya please try to sleep
We still have school in the monring

fuck this: fuck knows why

dead model: We can’t just stop school because of Hawk Moth. Maybe if they were more rare than every few days

the real ladybug™: can i cry

dead model: I’ll bring coffee

the real ladybug™: GOD BLESS US
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

fuck this: cool goodnight

shut up im sleeping: zzzzzzzzz



the real ladybug™: wait shit
imt he only one with my original name
when the whole squad moves on but you cant :’(

dead model: Please
Please go to sleep

the real ladybug™: but ur awake sunshine

dead model: The actual sun will be awake soon, you need sleep

the real ladybug™: lol wats that

dead model: Alya please

the real ladybug™: babe

dead model: Sorry, not Nino
But he’d be telling you to sleep too. If he were awake. Which he’s not. Because he’s sleeping. Like you should be

the real ladybug™: u r my bae too
ur all my baes
were all dating each other
i just decided

dead model: Okay
We can talk about this in a few hours
When I bring you coffee at school
But you need to get some sleep first

the real ladybug™: what or ull break up w me?

dead model: Yes

the real ladybug™: o shit
this got real

dead model: Go to sleep?

the real ladybug™: ill lay in bed and pretend

dead model: Good enough for me

the real ladybug™: night marshmallow



fuck this: fuck this

the real ladybug™: uve already told us that with ur usernmae

fuck this: well then it needs to be said again
fuck this

the real ladybug™: think we could make school night school
cuz like
the fuck
how is this fair to literally anyone

dead model: Life’s not fair

the real ladybug™: bae
im too tired for that bullshit

fuck this: ^^^^^^^^^^

dead model: I promised I would bring coffee, I’m bringing coffee

the real ladybug™: still #deadinside
but ily

fuck this: why do i get the feeling you love adrien more than you love me

the real ladybug™: i do
but you also love him more than me

fuck this: ok thats fair

the real ladybug™: mari also loves adrien more than both of us
all of us love adrien more than life itself
this is a fact of the universe

fuck this: true bro

shut up im sleeping: What about loving Adrien

the real ladybug™: MARI!!!! <3 <3 <3

fuck this: shit youre awake??

dead model: Hey! Morning Mari!

shut up im sleeping: Ahahahaha you say that like I slept

the real ladybug™: rip

fuck this: ^^

shut up im sleeping has changed their name to #dead

dead model: Me too

the real ladybug™: MATCHING USERNAMES!!!!!!!!

#dead: Were teenagers
Were all dead inside



the real ladybug™: ok but for real this time
this is no longer fair to lb and cn

fuck this: no offense al
but i get the feeling that maybe
just mabye
hm doesnt care if its not fair

the real ladybug™: k YEAH but what does hm DO ALL DAY

fuck this: better?

the real ladybug™: im gonna punch him in the dick



#dead: Alya why did you post ‘lets all get together and punch hawk moth in the dick’ on the ladyblog tumblr

the real ladybug™: bc im gonna do it

dead model: We’d need to find Hawk Moth first

the real ladybug™: fine
ill find hm
and ill punch him in the dick
break his nose
and rip out his spine

dead model: I thought you reserved that for 4 in the morning

the real ladybug™: babe
thats my secret
im always angry

fuck this: i feel like thats exactly what hm wants

the real ladybug™: if he akumatizes me again im gonna use that to fucking murder him

#dead: Wow
How would that work??

the real ladybug™: idk still working on it

the real ladybug™ has changed their name to jinkies!

jinkes! renamed this conversation to “mystery inc”.

fuck this: if youre velma who are the rest of us

jinkies!: well marshmallow is clearly freddie bc hes the dashing blond
he may not have an ascot or be the leader
(bc thats clearly me)
but hes got the charm
change ur name marsh

dead model: Ok?

dead model has changed their name to freddie

jinkies! : sweet
k well mari is daphne
bc fashion and style and ass kicking
and  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

freddie: What do you mean by that?

#dead: Nothing
Shes being ridiculous

jinkies!: ye

#dead has changed their name to blake

blake: Good?

jinkies!: a++

fuck this: if you say im scooby im fucking leaving

freddie: Scooby is a very important part of the team
He’s the reason they solve the case almost every time

blake: Hes not wrong

jinkes!: truuuuu
besides ur shaggy
idk who our scooby is yet
but anyway
time for a name change babe

fuck this has changed their name to zoinks

zoinks: happy?

jinkies!: <3 <3 <3<3
alright gang
lets catch us a white dude in a mask

Chapter Text


zoinks: fucking plot twist

jinkes!: go the FUCK back to sleep
i earned this sleep
and u need it 2
goodnight babe goddamn

zoinks: ok sheesh
ill go back to bed

jinkies!: thnx ily



jinkies!: i feel alliIIIIIIVVVVEEEEEEEE

zoinks: hey youre up

jinkies!: pls tell me u slept babe

zoinks: yeah i only got up like an hour ago

jinkies!: god bless
have u heard from either of the nerds

zoinks: nah not yet
adrien was supposed to have a shoot today but they mightve moved it???
its been a really rough week

jinkies!: shit ur preaching to the choir fam
i just hope theyre sleeping and not being the overachievers they are

zoinks: youre an overachiever too

jinkies!: u say that about me m. music man
lets pm so we dont keep blowing up their phones

zoinks: smart

jinkies!: i know ;*



jinkies!: get a load of this dog!!!!

jinkies! has sent a photo
[photo of Alya and a beagle. Alya is holding up a peace sign as the beagle sniffs her hair.]

zoinks: rad

blake: Aww!!!

jinkies!: the perfect scooby

blake: Wait what

jinkes! has sent a photo
[photo of Alya hugging the beagle]
jinkies! has sent a photo
jinkies! has sent a photo
jinkies! has sent a photo
[three photos of the beagle]

blake: Alya
Dont tell me you got a dog for a joke

jinkies!: look at how precious he is

jinkies! has sent a photo
[photo of one of Alya’s younger sisters playing with the beagle]

blake: Alya

jinkies!: lmao

blake: I am literally
Your dad is allergic to dog s???????

jinkies!: i kno :’(

zoinks: o shit i forgot about that
babe did you actually get a dog
thats a commitment im not ready for

jinkies!: dude were dating not married

zoinks: still?????
if you got a dog its going to be as much a part of my life as yours

jinkies!: you two are the worst

zoinks: hey i LOVE dogs
i just was not ready for this next step

freddie: You say that like she asked you to move in

zoinks: bruh
this is the teenage equivalent

jinkies!: no?????

freddie: I really don’t think it is??
Anyway I’m more of a cat person

jinkies!: @ mari

blake: What

jinkies!: u should tell fred about the cat you adopted when u were little

blake: Oh god

zoinks: dude thats like my favorite story

freddie: You adopted a cat??


zoinks: pffff didnt mean to
mar you stuffed a kitten in your jacket

blake: I WAS SEVEN


l i s t e n
That kitten was cute and I named him felix and I loved him

zoinks: for the two hours you had him

freddie: That’s actually really sweet
Kind of adorable


blake: What about me trying to sneak a stray cat home in my winter coat is cute

freddie: Honestly, the entire concept

jinkies!: u r cute so everything u do is cute
sry i dont make the rules

freddie: Al is right

jinkies!: damn right i am
im always right

zoinks: lets not go that far babe


jinkies!: lol no i didnt

zoinks: hoLY SHIT
thank go d
no offense babe

jinkies!: ur so weird

blake: ALYA

freddie: Breathe Mari

blake: I thought we were going to have to worry about her bringing a dog around to akuma attacks

jinkies!: excuse u i would not
thats a little too dangerous for the lil pupper
although thatd be cute as fuck

blake: Jesus FUCK

freddie: What did Jesus ever do to you

blake: Im done with this shit

jinkies!: fuck no ur not
im sleeping over
get ur ass up its time to cry

zoinks: offended that i wasnt invited

freddie: Same

jinkies!: were gonna watch movies and cry

freddie: Sounds like my kind of night

jinkies!: sry sunshine
find ur own marinette time

freddie: Ok sure. Will do 

blake: Alya get over here

jinkies!: on my way babe <3

zoinks: guess its just the two of us

freddie: Video chat?

zoinks: already there

PM between jinkies! and blake

jinkies!: u ok there

blake: This is too fucking much for me

jinkies!: he thinks ur cuuuuuuuuuute


jinkies!: give me ten and u can actual scream at me irl
much more soothing

blake: Im going to die

jinkies!: not before we make cupcakes you arent

9:36 in mystery inc.



jinkies!: yoooooouuuuuuu

blake: How wonderful life is
Now that youre in the

jinkies!: thanks for having my back on that one bae <3

blake: Of course
Where the hell did you go

jinkies!: oh im raiding the kitchen
i stole ur milk

blake: Why didnt you just ask

jinkies!: rebellion


zoinks: couldnt your rebellion have waited an hour?

jinkies!: nope



blake: My dad just offered me salt and vinegar chips and Ive never been more betrayed in my life

freddie: You don’t like salt and vinegar chips??

zoinks: ooohhhh shit

blake: Are you
Do you

freddie: Like salt and vinegar chips?
I love them

blake: I cant
I cant do this
I cant
With someone
Salt and vinegar chips

jinkies!: idk they arent bad

blake: What the FUCK

jinkies! has renamed this conversation “civil war”.

freddie: I love salt and vinegar chips
I can’t believe you don’t like them


freddie: Would you hate me if I said they’re my favorite kind of chips?


freddie: I’m not in your house???

blake: Im leaving. Goodbye

blake has left this group

jinkies!: hell no get back here

jinkies! added blake to this group

jinkies!: u 2 need 2 talk through ur lovers spat

freddie: Lovers’ spat?

blake: This is not a SPAT
I am disowning ALL OF YOU

zoinks: hey!
i didnt give an opinion
why am i getting punished yo

blake: Silence is voting for the other side

zoinks: ??????

freddie: Salt and vinegar chips are delicious

blake: Im disgusted

PM between jinkies! and blake

jinkies!: lmao ur in love with someone who loves salt and vinegar chips

blake: Im disgusted by myself
Im being betrayed by my love d ones

jinkies!: will you love him despite it

blake: God can I????
I dont know if I can do this

jinkies!: pffff
they are p good tho

blake: We are no longer friends.

jinkies!: im getting you salt and vinegar chips as a wedding present

blake: fuck you

Chapter Text


blake: Im
I can tdo it
I cant
This isnt?????
I dont
Im so
How am I so BAD aat
alk of thdis

freddie: What’s wrong?

blake: I cant DOI T
Im such a FAILURE

freddie: Mari
Mari I don’t know what’s wrong but you’re not a failure

blake: Yes I am
Im such
Im going to FIAL
ANd never gradtuate
And die pennyless
adn alone
and ic ant

PM between blake and freddie

freddie: Mari, you can talk to me
What’s wrong?
What happened?
And how can I help?

blake: FUCK

freddie: What is it?

blake: youll thimk im pathetic

freddie: No, I really won’t
I promise

blake: Its physics
I just
I did SO BADLY on the test
an d I dont know what s going ON
And I dont know what i dont know
And everyone else knows what they re doing and IM just

freddie: Mar that’s not true
Like over half the class doesn’t know what they’re doing
Physics is hard it’s a different type of science with a different way of thinking
And none of us have been getting much sleep or studying done
You aren’t the only one who’s confused right now I promise

blake: YOU know what youre doing

freddie: Yeah I do
You know why?
Because I was homeschooled
Having a private tutor is way different than learning in a classroom
The teaching style can be tailored to you and you can go at your own pace
I finished chemistry early and moved onto physics
I’ve been doing physics for months longer than you
It’s not that I’m smarter

blake: ok bu t you ARE

freddie: If I am smarter than you, you’re smarter than me in other ways
Intelligence isn’t so black and white

blake: But I SHOULD be getting this??????
What isn t clikcing
Why cant I jsut
Why is all im able to do rn is cry

freddie: Are you home?

blake: Im not going to do anything
Im jus t
Not doing corrections because Im so frustrated with my self right now

freddie: That’s not why I was asking
Do your parents know you’re upset?

blake: Theyre working they shouldnt have to deal with m e

freddie: I’m coming over

blake: Wait what

freddie: You shouldn’t have to be alone when you’re so upset
And I might be able help with physics a little bit
Or at least with test corrections

blake: No dont
I dont want yout o see me cry
And as soon as I try to do this Im going to cry

freddie: Mari I really don’t care if I see you crying
It’s ok to be upset about this
I’d send Alya over but she’s not responding

Promise not to think differently of  me if y ou see me breakdown

freddie: Why would I?
I’ll be there in 10


18:01 in “civil war”

jinkies!: mari??? are u ok???? what happened?????



freddie: Sorry we fell asleep

jinkies!: pls elaborate

freddie: I’m at Mari’s
I’m helping her with homework
I got up to go to the bathroom and when I got back she was asleep on her textbook
I didn’t want to wake her up so I started the physics homework
And then I fell asleep
She’s still out cold

jinkies!: huh
is she ok

freddie: Uh…
She’s doing better

jinkies!: dammit i wish i couldve been there for her
but thank u
for helping her out

freddie: Of course
What are friends for

jinkies!: idk
taking naps apparently



zoinks: yo peeps in case you didnt see
essay got pushed back a night because of the attack last night
which is awesome because i havent started it yet

jinkes!: hell fucking yeah
hawk moth is fina;;y doing us a sold

blake has changed their name to F=ma

zoinks: ayyy welcome back to the land of hte living mar

jinkies!: :(
the end of an era
rip the mystery inc crew
4ever alive in my heart

F=ma: Im dead

jinkes!: wait
get this physics out of my group chat this instant young lady

F=ma: Fuck you you arent my real mom

freddie has changed their name to p=mv

jinkies!: unbelievable
betrayed by the sunshine son

zoinks: oh are we doing this now

jinkies!: NO

zoinks has changed their name to some physics shit

some physics shit: pretend i tried

p=mv: Works for me

F=ma: Im in hell

p=mv: You use physics every single day

F=ma: Exactly

jinkies!: im disowning all of u
right now
get out of my house

some physics shit: we need to be at your house to get out of it

jinkies!: ok
get ur asses over here
and then get out of my house

jinkies! has renamed this conversation to “my house”.

jinkies!: now get out

p=mv: Or you’ll do what?

jinkies! has removed p=mv from this group.

jinkies!: that

F=ma: This is bullshit

jinkies!: #kicked

jinkies! has removed F=ma from this group.

some physics shit: this is brutal babe

jinkies!: do u want 2 b next?

some physics shit: yes, actually

jinkies!: ovr u

jinkies! has removed some physics shit from this group.

jinkies!: take that nerds

PM between jinkies! and F=ma

F=ma: You realize youre in a group chat by yourself now right

jinkies!: just how i always wanted

F=ma: Jfc al

PM between jinkies! and some physics shit

some physics shit: lol babe

jinkies!: fucking fiGHT EM NINO

some physics shit: later my dude
enjoy being alone

jinkies!: i dont NEED u ppl

some physics shit: mhm


p=mv added some physics shit and F=ma to this group.

p=mv renamed this conversation to lol”.

p=mv: lol

F=ma: Wow real mature

p=mv: Was Alya mature?

F=ma: Are any of us ever mature

some physics shit: fuck no

F=ma: There we go
Als gonna flip shit

p=mv: This is her own fault

some physics shit: truuuuuuuu

19:11 in my house

jinkies!: fuck
u pieces of shit
i hate u all
and u cant even see me hating u

Chapter Text


jinkies!: fucking FINE

jinkies! has changed their name to smad

smad: u WIN

jinkies! added p=mv , F=ma , and some physics shit to this group

some physics shit: plot twist

smad: listen up shitheads
ur back
but ive got some conditions

F=ma: good lord

smad: 1 no physics
2 no hw
3 no school unless its about things being moved BACK
4 no math

p=mv: I’ll have my lawyers look over it
I should get back to you by the end of the week

smad: listen here u little shit

p=mv has changed their name to little shit

smad: iM
at least ur listening

some physics shit: wait so do we delete the other chat

smad: what

F=ma: Nino you asshole

smad: OTHE R CHAT????!??!?!?!?!?!!

some physics shit: adrien did it

some physics shit has changed their name to not guilty

smad: u little shit

little shit: I love you Alya

smad: no u dont
im breaking up with you

little shit: </3

not guilty: does this mean the ot4 is no more

little shit: Hey nice rhyme

F=ma has changed their name to zzz

zzz: It is if you dont let me sleep
Bye bye ot4

smad: whAT NO

zzz: Let me sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

little shit: Mute the chat mar
I’ll pm you if anything important happens
(Nothing will)

smad: uM EXCUSE ME

zzz: #muted

little shit: Yeah of course sleep well

not guilty: night mar!

smad: i cant believe ive been betrayed by my boyfriends

not guilty: bette r believe it al
also better get some sleep
im crashing

little shit: Talk to you in the morning

smad: pls dont say ur leaving me

little shit: Probably in a minute?? I need sleep
So do you

smad: :( :( :(

little shit: The sooner you go to bed the sooner the others will be up
And the sooner you’ll see us at school

smad: tru
thats tru
man u gotta pull the bae card on me

little shit: Yeah well you need sleep
I’ll pull any cards I need to

smad: ur really not that much of a little shit

little shit: Only sometimes

smad: pfff

little shit: Get some sleep??

smad: fine ill try

little shit: Thanks <3

smad: damn ur cute

little shit: Night Alya

smad: night marsh



zzz: Stab me
Also hawkmoth

little shit: Dammit



smad: i hope lb and cn take their time

not guilty: same honestly
i gotta finish math

smad: best of luck my love



zzz: THat was Too Loud

not guilty: i got better headphones and man was adrien right about this one
10/10 would recommend
pricey as fuck though

zzz: I need food

smad: bab u live above a bakery

zzz: I need greasy food
Or chips

not guilty: i gotchu man
ill bring them to school and you can sneak them between classes

zzz: Youre actually a godsend

not guilty: guilty as charged

little shit: You might need to change your screen name then
Also eat something that’s not chips before school because trust me. Chips will not get you through the day

smad: lol speak from experience?

little shit: Yes
Mistakes have been made

not guilty: rip

smad: rest in pepperoni



little shit has changed their name to doctor agreste

not guilty has changed their name to nurse nino

smad: the fuck did i miss

zzz: Guys I was NAPPING
Im gonna mute you people again

smad has changed their name to lost and confused

zzz has changed their name to crying

doctor agreste: I can’t stop watching

nurse nino: dude i KNOW
its a d d i c t i v e

crying: What is?????

nurse nino: weve been watching all the hospital and doctor shows on netflix

crying: …………………

doctor agreste: Because they’re good to binge
And because DRAMA

nurse nino: mari. listen.
once you watch one episode you cant stop
ive been watching since school got out and i went over adriens
i really just need to know if dr rowland and dr ribero are gonna bang or not

crying: …………………  
The fuck

lost and confused: link me

doctor agreste: Are you sure?
There’s like 12 seasons and we’ve already made the mistake of getting addicted

lost and confused renamed this conversation “link. me.”.

crying: Im going back to napping
Have fun with your hospital sex

nurse nino: we will

doctor agreste: rabbit? because im about to start the midseason finale


doctor agreste: WHAT ABOUT STACEY’S BABY





crying: are there even any episodes where no one dies

doctor agreste: uhhhhh

lost and confused: so no

nurse nino: we did not say that

lost and confused: FUCK
im still mad about jess dying i dONT NEED THIS

doctor agreste: Wait when did Jess die

lost and confused: like three episodes ago

nurse nino: o shit

doctor agreste: You’re going to die

lost and confused: FU C K

crying: I dont want to know. I dont

nurse nino: so are we continuing orrrrrr

doctor agreste: How is that even a quetion

crying: God why am I friends with any of you



crying: I really fucking want pasta

nurse nino: ok same???
mari come on way to ruin my night
i cant make pasta now
its after midnight
why dude

doctor agreste: Yeah it probably doesn’t help that they just started eating dinner in the show

nurse nino: damn that pasta looks good

crying: ....
Youre STILL watching????

doctor agreste: We have 12 seasons to get through

nurse nino: We’re dead inside

doctor agreste: And Stacey is cheating on Dilon with Ethan

lost and confused: YOU LITTLE SHITS

doctor agreste: Yikes gotta go

nurse nino: peace out

lost and confused: WHAT HTE FUCK

crying: I hate you all



lost and confused: i want fries

doctor agreste: Alya its 2:31 in the morning

lost and confused: i

doctor agreste: But you can’t HAVE fries

lost and confused: why not

doctor agreste: Because it’s 2:30 in the morning?????????

crying has changed their name to marinette is tired

marinette is tired: I just want sleep

doctor agreste: Mari you can always mute the chat
What I said yesterday always stands

marinette is tired: /sigh
Not the point
A really close one too

nurse nino: oh shit
thats what we get for having the show so loud

doctor agreste: Damn that’s Nathalie coming to check on me be back later gotta sleep

lost and confused: wait

lost and confused has changed their name to ayyy


nurse nino: the FUCK


nurse nino: NO YOU CANT

nurse nino has changed his name to niNO

ayyy: dicks out for hawk moth

niNO: no no nope
dicks back in


niNO: only because i think you might literally DIE if you go alone

ayy: !!!!!!!!!!!



ayyy: they didnt give me enough ketchup
this is an outrage
@hawkmoth this is an OUTRAGE
akumatize me so i can get ketchup
i need more ketchup

marinette is tired: Alya
I love you
Im muting you

ayyy: :(
this is so upsetting

niNO: sorry al

doctor agreste: I'm getting you ketchup for Christmas 

ayyy: !!!
ur bae

Chapter Text


doctor adrien: Ever wonder what it’s like to have a normal sleep schedule

ayyy: normal is just a setting on a washing machine

niNO: im breaking up with you

doctor adrien: Which one of us

marinette is tired: Im breaking up with all of you
Go to BED

ayy: babes nooooooo
how could you be so heartless

marinette is tired: Im tired

ayyy: how could you be so

niNO: i refuse to date someone who uses emo phrases from 2010

ayyy: cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo

marinette is tired: Alya no kanye after midnight

doctor adrien: Oh nice I’m safe then
Wait it’s not midnight

ayyy: can we vote adrien off the island

marinette is tired: What island
Cna I please sleep

doctor adrien: Mute the chat

ayyy: all in favor for voting adrien off the isalnd say aye

niNO: no

marinette is tired: NO

doctor adrien: </3

ayyy: damn ok then

marinette is tired: Can we deal with this in the morning

doctor adrien: Goodnight Mari

marinette is tired: Thank you

ayyy: fine
night babe

marinette is tired: :P

niNO: later dude <3

doctor adrien: I’m off
My make up artist is going to kill me if I keep having dark circles under my eyes

ayyy: rip

niNO: best of luck

ayyy: u leaving?

niNO: pm?

ayyy: sure



doctor adrien: Nino

niNO: whats up

doctor adrien: I watched last night episode
Like just now
Like the credits are rolling

niNO: dUDE

doctor adrien: DUDE


doctor adrien: I CAN T BELIEVE

ayyy: why are we yelling

doctor adrien: THE NEWEST EPSIDOE




doctor adrien: I KNOW

ayy: SHUT UP


ayy: NO


ayy: NO

doctor adrien: FINE WE’LL DO THIS IN PM

ayy: NO

niNO: i need to scream



7: 29

marinette is tired: What hte heck did I miss



ayyy: dolla dolla bills yall

marinette is tired: Alya why

ayy: honestly i dont know
its stuck in my head
just that part

marinette is tired: Jfc

niNO: help me out
im out of ideas

marinette is tired: For??

niNO: film
do you create???????
bruh how do you script

marinette is tired: You ask that like I would have any idea

niNO: man
im going to live in a box

ayyy: um?? excuse me????
were sharing a box

doctor adrien: No one is living in a box

ayyy: YE
shoutout to my boi adrien for supporting us

doctor adrien: Wait what

ayyy: thank u for ur support
and ur money

doctor adrien: I was just being optimistic???????

ayyy: thank u rich white boy <3 <3 ilysm

doctor adrien: I didn’t?????

niNO: thanks bro
i owe you

doctor adrien: I think that relying on me for money sounds like a bad idea?????

marinette is tired: You wouldnt help us?

doctor adrien: I WOULD help
But also?
I don’t actually have access to that much money right now?

ayyy: boi u buy like hundreds of euros worth of cheese a mont h

doctor adrien: No I don’t

niNO: pfff
sure you dont
and i didnt spend half my savings on a midi fighter the other day

doctor adrien: Dude

marinette is tired: This si why you never say anything optimistic
Always be sad and cynical
And al cant do this to you

doctor adrien: Listen
I need to balance out the negativity in my life
Gotta say something about optimism

niNO: damn dude i guess you do have a lot of negativity in your life

ayyy: so does this mean ur not paying my tuition

doctor adrien has changed their name to something about optimism

something about optimism: I’ll have to get back to you on that al

ayyy: love ya <3



ayyy: ever get really pissed at something and wonder if ur gonna get akumatized

something about optimism: What did you do

marinette is tired: Me too




something about optimism: I TOLD YOU NINO

niNO: its the eyes

ayyy: its the mouth

something about optimism: Its his whole face

marinette is tired: Ok Im gonna leave now

niNO: mari nooooooo

marinette is tired: I dont want any of your hospital drama

ayyy: D:

niNO: mar you cant leave us
whos gonna make sure we dont drown in doctor dramas

marinette is tired: You gotta figure that out for yourselves

something about optimism: ….
Do I even care about their drama?

niNO: b r u h

ayyy: GASP

marinette is tired: No you dont

something about optimism: Why can’t I stop watching

marinette is tired: Is it melting your brain?

ayyy: meltybrain adriens akumatized form

something about optimism: What powers do I have

ayyy: good question

marinette is tired: HElp artists block

niNO: talk about relatable

marinette is tired: I HATE ART

ayyy: marinettes akumatized form

marinette is tired: IM BRUNING ALL MY AR T

niNO: bad idea

marinette is tired: iTS GONNA B U R N

something about optimism: Burn baby burn

niNO: no

ayyy: draw flowers
flowers are flowery

marinette is tired has changed their name to flowers are flowery

niNO: i still have no ideas for my screenplay rip me

something about optimism: I’m really glad I’m not a creative person

flowers are flowery: Im still gonna set my sketchbook on fire



niNO: adrien makes people wander around in that stupor you get in once youve binged an entire season of netflix
marinette has laser vision and sets stuff on fire

something about optimism: What

niNO: akuma powers

something about optimism: This feels like a weird thing to debate

ayyy: a little weird but al so
i think adrien has already hit me
i feel braindead
this show is th e worst thing to ever happen to me

niNO: where you at

ayyy: duDE


niNO: holy shit

aaay: whoa

something about optimism: Are you ok????

flowers are flowery: I AM TRYING TO SLEEP

something about optimism: Why didn’t you mute the chat?


something about optimism: Mute the caht and go to sleep

flowers are flowery: BUT THEN I MISS STUFF

something about optimism: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS

flowers are flowery: AHHHHHHH

something about optimism: I will literally come to your house and mute the chat

something about optimism renamed this conversation to “mute the chat”.

flowers are flowery: WHY ARENT YOU ASLEEP

something about optimism: I’m doing chinese

ayyy: ;)

something about optimism: Shut the fuck up Alya
Why isn’t MARI asleep

flowers are flowery: BECAUSE YORUE ALL TALKING

something about optimism: MUTE

niNO: talk about lovers spat

ayyy: id be mad about how cute they are if i werent dating them


something about optimism: GOODNIGHT




ayyy: me too
fuck this



ayyy: i dreamed a dream that hawk moth wasnt a fucking asshole


PM between flowers are flowery and something about optimism

something about optimism has sent a photo
something about optimism has sent a photo

flowers are flowery: whats thsi

something about optimism: I promised you I’ds end the physics homeowkr
Pretend I can type rihgt now

flowers are flowery: you promised that??
oh you did
sorry i forgot

something about optimism: Its ok
Its really late

flowers are flowery:
heres the compare and contrast but i dont
knowhow good it is
just dont use the sam e exact words
or do
i dont actually care anymore

something about optimism: I have a thesaurus site open right now
I’m just going to put random words through it

flowers are flowery: [‘V GBK
but good plan
thats a
good plan.

something about optimism: Go to sleep, Mar

flowers are flowery: i will
i just need to
copy physics? is that what i was doing?

something about optimism: Yeah but you have lunch to do that tomorrow

flowers are flowery: i do?
oh my god i do

something about optimism: Go to sleep?

flowers are flowery: only if you do

something about optimism: Im only going to spend a few minutes on this

flowers are flowery: ok good
im going ot log off now

something about optimism: Goodnight, bug

flowers are flowery: sleep well kitten

Chapter Text


ayyy: id like to give a big shoutout to the people who submitted pics to the ladyblog
talk about the real mvps
dicks out for them

niNO: can we not keep dick s in
is that an option

ayyy: dicks out!!!1!!



something about optimism: Didn’t feel like going out last night al?

ayyy: helllllllll fukcing no
r u kidding???? 2:24 am???
i put in headphones and went bed
shit fam
its not worth it anymore

niNO: thankgod
im tired of running out after you

something about optimism has renamed conversation to “finally”.

ayyy: also my mom would kill me

something about optimism: Of course

ayyy: babe u dont need to protect me
ive got me
im good

niNO: you keep saying that
and yet i dont believe you

ayyy: adrien trusts me
dont you marsh?

something about optimism: I plead the fifth

ayyy: ????

niNO: wtf

something about optimism: its an american thing

ayyy: well fuck that

something about optimism: I think Alya needs more sleep

niNO: i think we all do

 PM between something about optimism and flowers are flowery

something about optimism: Can we talk at lunch?

flowers are flowery: Oh
Uh yeah


niNO: does anyone have the chem hw
and by anyone
i mean adrien
the only one i trust

ayyy: i was gonna say rude
but same
thats so

niNO: i guess thats a no????

ayyy: iguess?????????
@adrien fam where u at
we need help

niNO: i think i can swing it

ayyy: u might but i sure cant

niNO: right so you do this here
im gonna cram this section before lunch ends

ayyy: best of luck boo
wait no
i wont give you luck
i need that
give me my luck back

niNO: nope

ayyy: ninooooooooooo

niNO: bye al

ayyy: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:



niNO: alright so whats up

ayyy: ^^^^^^

something about optimism: The sky???

ayyy: get the fukc out

niNO: haha very funny
but seriously

something about optimism: What are you talking about?

PM between ayyy and niNO

ayyy: babe

niNO: i know

ayyy: k u want mar or marsh

niNO: ill take marsh
go easy on her? she seemed wiped today

ayyy: im always easy
and sweet
and loving
why do you doubt me

niNO: babe

ayyy: ill be nice!!!!
i wont push too much
i cant believe ive been betrayed by my own boyfriend

niNO: mhm yup
good luck dude

ayyy: thanks ;*

PM between something about optimism and niNO

niNO: yo dude
something wrong?

something about optimism: No?

niNO: did something happne between you and mari?

something about optimism: Why would you think that??

niNO: bruh
the way you were acting around each other today
it was so….
really fucking strange

something about optimism: Nothing happened there
I didn’t act any different today
I was kind of tired?

niNO: okkkkk sure
we can pretend
youve literally never acted like that around mari before
mari hasnt acted like that around you since
actually no
shes never been that weird around you
and shes been really fucking weird around you
not that you noticed

something about optimism: Wait what???
What are you talking about????

niNO: dude just
tell me if somethings wrong?

something about optimism: Of course
You know I would


PM between ayyy and flowers are flowery

ayyy: what happened

flowers are flowery: Excuse me

ayyy: between you and adrien
something happened
what was it??

flowers are flowery: NOthing happened!!!!
Why would you think that????

ayyy: idk maybe the weirdness
the stuttering
the avoiding eyecontact thing
the awkwardness
the weirdness

flowers are flowery: When have I ever acted normal around Adrien?????

ayyy: a lot in the last month or so actually

flowers are flowery: Thats a damn lie and you know it

ayyy: k maybe its bc ur u but u 2 really have gotten closer
ur waaaaay more comfortable together now
just makeout

flowers are flowery: AlYA

ayyy: oh my god u know u want to

flowers are flowery: Just because I wan t two doesnt mean I CAN

ayyy: im sure if u asked adrien would want to makeout with u too

flowers are flowery: Youre so embarassing oh my god

ayyy: u love me

flowers are flowery: Yeah and Im quesitoning wHY

ayyy: <3<3<3
k but ull tell me if anything happens right?
not like
just with adrien
like in general
if anything is wrong??

flowers are flowery: Of course I would al
I always do

ayyy: ok good
thank u
now go makeout with a supermodel

flowers are flowery: ALYA


PM between ayyy and niNO

ayyy: anything???

niNO: nothing
idk al maybe nothing DID happen

ayyy: ughhh
it feels like something wrongs
i feel it in my bones

niNO: are you going to start singing

ayyy: nah not feeling it
kinda feeling bummed now ://

niNO: want me to come over??

ayyy: could u????

niNO: yeah sure
be there in like 15

ayyy: love you <3 <3

PM between flowers are flowery and something about optimism

something about optimism: Is it later?

flowers are flowery: What???

something about optimism: Last night you said we could talk later
Its later

flower are flowery: Didnt we talk at lunch??

something about optimism: I mean
Falling asleep on top of each other on your chaise isn’t really talking

flowers are flowery: Oh
I guess thats true

something about optimism: Do you want me to call??

flowers are flowery: Um
Not rigth now
This works

something about optimism: Ok

flowers are flowery: So

something about optimism: You

flowers are flowery: Yes
And you

something about optimism: Mari??
I can see you typing and stopping mar
Are you ok?

flowers are flowery: I cant do this
Call me?

Call ended: 1 hour 19 minutes 48 seconds

Chapter Text


something about optimism has changed their name to coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino

niNO: if i can
what the fuck

coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino: ;*
ilysm marsh
mwah mwah mwah

niNO: al?????

flowers are flowery: Alya why do you have adriens phone

coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino: um bc he got up to get coffee
i had an opportunity
i took it
pls know that this boy has autocaps and autocorrect on
its v hard to keep up The Aesthetic™

niNO: b a b e

coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino: question
r u babe-ing me or adrien

niNO: does it matter

coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino: nah not really

niNO: why did you go to a cafe to study
you arent gonna get anything done

coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino: fuck when i have more time remind me to install shortcuts into dris phone
hold on

ayyy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

flowers are flowery: Why am I friends with you

ayyy: bc u luuuuuuv me

coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino: This just in: next time, Alya’s buying drinks

ayyy: whAT

coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino: You act like I can’t actually see all the messages you sent
I’m changing my password

ayyy: boo ill just look over ur shoulder

niNO: these two mar am i right

flowers are flowery: Tell me about it

ayyy has changed their name to asshole

niNO: ok yeah she deserves that

flowers are flowery: Here lies alya cesaire
Death by adrien agreste

niNO: the way to go tho

flowers are flowery: Tbh

asshole: honestly fuck u adrien
i love u
but fuck u

coffee marshmallow crème frappuccino has changed their name to coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino

flowers are flowery: Jesus

niNO: memelord is back

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Alya why do you do this to me

asshole: yeah yeah love u too

flowers are flowery: Note to self: do not let adrien and alya go on study dates alone

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: i haVE THE PHONE

asshole: Well I have yours

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: oooo lets go through your pictures and texts i wonder if theres anything interesting


niNO: arent you like
sitting next to each other


coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: ;* ;* ;*
aww is that your mom shes so pretty
back to my point

niNO: are we surprised

flowers are flowery: Hm I feel like locking yourself in the bathroom maybe isnt the best use of your study time

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: fuck studying

asshole: I wonder if Alya has anything embrrassing on here

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: shit

asshole: I wonder what I can find………

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: FUCK I GET IT


niNO: hey mari you adn i should study together some time
it sounds fun

flowers are flowery: Oh yeah definitely!
Especially if these two are going to be doing these study dates more often

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: I’m back

asshole: FUCK THIS GUY

flowers are flowery: I feel like I need a nap after that

niNO: ditto



flowers are flowery: ADRIEN

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: What’s up?


coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Uh

flowers are flowery: I SAW HIS NEW LINE

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Ohhhhhhhh
Yeah go ahead, scream away I don’t mind

flowers are flowery: WHERE DO I EVEN START

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: The very beginning? It’s a very good place to start

flowers are flowery: IM JUST!!!!!!!!
a;sldkfjaksjfkdjfskfjsdf its so gOOD
Like that SUI T
And the c o l o r s
And o hmygdo the ties
Adrien I couLD DIE

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Yeah, my dad is a real tiecoon if I do say so myself

flowers are flowery:
I’m breaking up with you

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: We aren’t dating

flowers are flowery: Gdi

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: :3c

flowers are flowery: Don’t cat face me

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: :3

flowers are flowery: Reason why I hate adrien agreste number 17

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Is there a list?
I want to see it

flowers are flowery: Figh tme

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Ok
See you in half an hour?

flowers are flowery: Youre on



asshole: note to self
doing hw means missing group chat stuff
do not do hw



niNO: i dont think thats what you were supposed to get from that conversation

asshole: how about dont make puns around mari

niNO: fuck we gotta kick adrien out

asshole: rip the sunshine child



flowers are flowery has changed their name to dancing queen

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Yeah that’s a lie

dancing queen: Listen:
Fuck you

niNO: oh shIT

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: You don’t love me Mari???

dancing queen: I wON

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: No you definitely did not

dancing queen: This is bullshit
I want a redo

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Not how this works

dancing queen: /muffled screaming/

asshole: dawwww
old married couples back at it again


PM between dancing queen and coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino

dancing queen: Hey you wanna go on a date sometime

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Wha
Yeah sure

dancing queen: Great!

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Yeah I just
Sorry you caught me off guard
A lot off guard

dancing queen: I’m breaking up with you

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Wha thte
FUcking christ Marinette

0:22 in finally

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino has renamed this conversation “confusion”.

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: What just
Marinette just
Marinette is the worst

asshole: ?????

niNO: whatd she do
actually become the dancing queen?

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: She
Asked me out??

asshole: what the shIT

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: And then immediately dumped me

asshole: FUCK

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Because of a PUN

niNO: the one from earlier?

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: That’s the one

niNO: b r u t a l
i love her
definitely my favorite person in the universe

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: I’m
W o w
It’s been a day

PM between asshole and dancing queen

asshole: MARINETTE

PM between niNO and dancing queen

niNO : marinette i love you

Chapter Text


asshole: please try this religion

niNO: no

asshole: try ittttt

niNO: no quieter this time

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: Hi China

asshole: hey dipshit

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino: :(

coffee marshmallow mème frappuccino has changed their name to dipshit

dancing queen: Ok what the actual fuck did I come back to

niNO: japan

asshole: ayyyyy shes back and shes ♪BEAUTIFUL♪!

dancing queen: ?????

dipshit: We watched the history of Japan

dancing queen: When did this happen

PM between dancing queen and dipshit

dipshit: I think you got caught up with some kids on your way to school? Had to help them get something out of a tree

dancing queen: Curse me for being a good person jfc

dipshit: :3

dancing queen: >:(

19:09 in confusion

niNO: earlier today

asshole: had 2 b there
missed u tho
<3 <3

dancing queen: /sigh
Ill just be confused in peace

asshole: oh!!!! wiat!!
i got something thatll make it better

dancing queen: FUCKIN G

niNO: f u c k
were done al
i cant do this anymore

asshole: </3

dipshit: I leave to get a drink and I come back to a shattered relationship

asshole: thirsty ;)

dipshit: Alya what did you do

niNO: i dont want to return to this h e l l

asshole has changed their name to fergie

asshole has renamed this conversation “hit it fergie”.

dipshit: That’s not even the right song

fergie: fight me agreste

niNO has changed their name to no

fergie: so thats a yes

dancing queen: Im leaving

fergie: NO WAIT

dancing queen: Why should I

fergie: i have something thatll make it better

dancing queen: If you rickroll me we are never speaking again



dipshit: Where are you getting these
I’m kind of impressed

fergie: aww thanks marsh <3
its a lot of hard work tbh

dancing queen: LEAVING

fergie: oh and heres the clean version incase u want that instead


no: i think ive actually died

dipshit: OH check this out

b r u h

fergie: AYYY
ilysm sm sm

dancing queen left this conversation

no: nope get back here
if i have to suffer so do you

no added dancing queen to this conversation

dancing queen: NINO

no: i love you babe but we suffer together

dancing queen: MUFFLED SCREAMING

fergie: um im learning this and performing it at every opportunity


fergie: HELL YEA

dancing queen: Nino I want to leeeeeave

no: do you think leaving these two alone is a good idea

dancing queen: G A H
Alright I have to ask

dipshit: Don’t question fashion from the 2010s
Its best to just
Let it happen
Let it die in the past

dancing queen: What is this

no: mari why are you watching

dancing queen: Because my brain has melted out of my ears

dipshit: It’s not THAT bad a song

no: that my dude is not the problem here


dancing queen: FUCK I CLICKED IT

fergie: shhh keep doing u bab
also skip like the first 30s or smth

dipshit: Hey this is decent

no: you arent tricking me


dancing queen: Those are
Actual beans

fergie: yes
ahahahahaha look at this!!!! why is it all in slow mo oh my  gdo
a cinematic masterpiece
pls watch nino

no: i opened it and what

fergie: pls appreciate all the hard work they put inot this

dancing queen: Are we sure its not 3 yet

no: not even midnight my man

dipshit: All I’m going to hear for the next four years

fergie: find anything new sunshine??

no: dont you fucking dare


dancing queen: Can I ask you out again so I can dump you again

no: is he saying gotta get a jet?

fergie: live ur dreams small child in a snapback


dancing queen: Dont say it

no: fucking fuck fuck on a fuck

fergie: d o  i  t

You are so welcome

no: my ears are fucking bleeding you fucking fucer fick

dipshit: That was interesting

dancing queen: Current plan: cry

fergie: YE S

dipshit: Hey at least it’s not thrift shop

dancing queen: NooooOOOOOOOO

no: WHAT

fergie: THE BEST



dancing queen: New plan: die

no: same


dancing queen left this conversation

dipshit added dancing queen to this conversation

dancing queen: ADRIEN!!!!

lets listen to that song instead

dipshit: Yeah I’d actually be down with that

dancing queen: PLEASE

fergie: yeah sure we can do that

dancing queen: Why do I try

no: nahhhh this is almost the same as the original i swear

fergie: hmmm is this any better??

dancing queen: Why are we discussing this

no: i guess? whats the point of this

fergie: idk fam

dancing queen: I swear
To god
And I am serious this time
If this is boom boom pow
I logging off and never coming back on
I am throwing out my phone
Changing schools
And never speaking to you again

fergie: just click it

dipshit: Hit it Fergie

no: at least its not boom boom pow

dancing queen: I could cry tbh
I am crying
Im actually crying
R e l i e f


no: what kind of salt and pepper diner bullshit

dancing queen: Well then

no: actually wait what

dipshit: This is

fergie: high art?

no: uh

dipshit: Someone put effort into creating this

fergie: we are appreciating ART

dipshit: And the creative process

fergie: put this in the moma
the louvre

dipshit: Give it its own exhibit in the mfa

dancing queen: Im going to bed
Yes I know its early
Im done
Good riddance
Fuck you al

no: you two deserve each other honestly

fergie: hearteyes mother fucker
yo adrien wanna learn this dance with me

dipshit: Like right now
This second

fergie: yes
can you sneak out?

dipshit: I can’t believe I’m doing this

fergie: <3 <3 <3

Chapter Text


fergie: its 2 quiet in here
time for the #discourse

no: no

fergie: shit im blanking
i need a topiC
@the babs: someone pls

no: i refuse to support this

dipshit: Anything?

fergie: yes

dipshit: Ok give me a second

no: fuck dude i just wanted a day of chill

fergie: babe with friends like us thats just not possible

dancing queen: What are we doing??

dipshit: Hogwarts house discourse

no: i cant believe i have to break up with you

fergie renamed this conversation to “hogwarts house discourse”.

dancing queen: Oh no

fergie: alright alright alright
adrien = puff
mari = puff
nino = puff

dipshit: How do you figure

no: uhhh

dancing queen: Sorry al that seems wrong

fergie: oh it is
it definitely is
but ur all sweet enough for hufflepuff
and loyal
and we all eat too much food
hmmm realistic one…
adrien = puff
mari = snake
nino = raven mayb

dipshit: Make Mari Gryffindor and I’ll agree with you

fergie: whaaaaaat our girl is ambitious aF theres no way

dipshit: But she’s also a really strong leader and incredibly brave

dancing queen: If were arguing over anyone Id say adrien should be a gryffindor
Oh wait maybe ravneclaw????
Hes super smart
Shit this is really hard? He could be in three???

no: the fuck
i was thinking slytherin actually

fergie: ???

dancing queen: ???????

no: listen my dudes
the hat takes what you want into consideration right?
it does it for harry anyway

fergie: what does this have to do with marshmallow being a snake which is just
not accurate

no: im getting there

dipshit: Are we going by stereotypes or nah

dancing queen: Nah
The stereotypes suck

no: im just saying
theres no fucking way if we were wizards teh agrestes wouldnt be pure bloods
and gabriel would be classic fucking slytherin

dancing queen: Ok Ill agree with that

fergie: mhmmmm

dipshit: I wouldn’t say that

no: bro even if you arent going off stereotypes
your old man is probably the mos t ambitious perosn ive ever met
like scary
mari is almost as scary

dancing queen: Hey!!!!!!

fergie: so sorting hat

no has changed their name to sorting hat .

sorting hat: sup

fergie: are u saying adrien would ASK 2 b slytherin

sorting hat: well
yeah i am 

fergie: ……………
i did not consider

sorting hat: i know you didnt

dancing queen: First of all since we cant decide and Im getting mixed answers from online quizzes

dancing queen has changed their name to lion snake .

lion snake: Second of all doesnt the hat also base it off of what you value the most??

dipshit: Lion snake? Like a chimera?

fergie: nerd

dipshit: Actually the chimera also has a goat ignore me

sorting hat: what the fuck

dipshit: Greek mythology

fergie: u kno what i dont wanna kno

dipshit: Anyway back to this

sorting hat: oh yeah
yeah the hat does
but adrien wanting to please his dad might overrule that
idk my dude jk didnt exactly lay ou t the rules of this super great

fergie: jk needs to c h i l l
and ye each of the golden trio couldve ended up in at least one other house

dipshit: That would’ve been cool
Also I don’t think I try to please my dad that much

fergie: oh sweetheart

sorting hat: dude

lion snake: Adrien you really really do

dipshit: Really?

fergie has changed their name to adriens legal guardian .

adriens legal guardian: someone needs to take care of you

dipshit: I promise I’m fine
I’ve got Nathalie

sorting hat: does nathalie give you hugs

dipshit: No?
Why is that relevant?

adriens legal guardian: SHE DOESNT COUNT THEN

adriens legal guardian has changed their name to i love adrien .

i love adrien: turn on ur location agreste

dipshit: Please know that’s actually kind of creepy
I’m at home you don’t have to worry about location

i love adrien: hella

sorting hat: alya chill out with the name chagnes
also now im gonna be confuse d

i love adrien: i love him too but truuuuu

dipshit: ????

i love adrien: can i change it

sorting hat: last time for today??

i love adrien: ilysm

i love adrien has changed their name to cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub

dipshit: I have a fanclub?
Wait that wasn’t the smartest thing to say

lion snake: Its a good thing youre cute

dipshit: I try to ignore them

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: have u ever been on the official insta of the fanclub
bc its hilarious
and beautiful

dipshit: ….
Alya why

sorting hat: oh we totally googled you

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: mhm

lion snake: ^^^^

dipshit: That’s…..nice of you?

lion snake: Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable omg

dipshit: It’s just? Kinda weird??
I don’t mind and I probably should’ve expected it
I just forget sometimes that that’s a thing people can/will do

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: adri if it makes u feel any better i google everyone
ive googled everyone in this chat
in our class
their parents
random strangers if im able to

sorting hat: that is not surprising at all

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur not special
i mean u r
ur v special to me
and ilysm
but not here
everyone gets googled and twitter stalked
also tell whoevers running ur official accounts to be less lame
idc about salad u eat

dipshit: What????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur social media is B O R I N G
i kno u dont run it but i still expected more memes

dipshit: Honestly I don’t look at it

sorting hat: its like the person we thought you were when we first met you except more boring

lion snake: Ok no thats not true
Because I thought he was an asshole

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh shit tru

dipshit: Ahhhh yeah sorry about that

lion snake: Its fine I promise!!! Weve talked about this
Its like
Super perfect adn model-y and professional andnot  at all a teenage loser who stayed up until 2 watching sailor moon and eating doritos

sorting hat: fucking relatable

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: weebs

sorting hat: yo youre the one who decided to date some

lion snake: Hey Ive never asked
Adrien do you have unofficial personal social media???

dipshit: …………………….

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: WHAAAAAAAT

dipshit: I have a tumblr but that’s it

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh my go d
this weekend  we get 2gether adn make adrien all the social media
and we revamp his tumblr bc ur theme sucks

dipshit: ????
You’ve never even seen it???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i know it does marsh
can u imagine if lb and cn had social media!!!!! id c r y

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: P l e a s e

lion snake: Oh my og d

dipshit: Please please please please please please please plEASE

lion snake: HOld on!!! Im discussing with tikki

dipshit: Plagg says he doesn’t care what we do

lion snake: Yeah we arent trusting him

dipshit: Fair enough

lion snake: No
Just because of that

dipshit: Pleaaaaaseeeeeeeee
My lady it’ll be great I swear

lion snake: U gh
Well talk on it on patrol tonight k??

dipshit: YES!!!!


19:05 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i know weve moved on but man. fuck snape



cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: do u think if i track down lb and cn and ask them for their hogwarts houses theyll tell me

sorting hat: worth a shot?



cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: update: chat says ladybg is a gryffindor and lb says shes iether that or slytherin
so like mari
and they cant agree on cn



sorting hat: damn you adrien i cant stop thinking about this
what is mari??
what is adrien???
what am i??
al youre either gryffindor or ravenclaw ive decided

lion snake: Youre the sorting hat shouldnt you know all???

sorting hat: bruh we need the actual sorting hat for this

lion snake: Fair enough

sorting hat: lets say adrien is a hatstall and move on


PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: Rise and shine bugaboo
Akuma at 3 o’clock
Literally 3 o’clock the time not the like
If you’re using 12, 3, 6, and 9 as directions
It’s not
You know what
My tracker on my baton is turned on so use that to find me



dipshit: Mari
Alright plan b
I’m gonna call  you and if you don’t pick up I’m going to show up on your balcony
Which sounds creepy but also this akuma is now stacking cars and I don’t really know what to do?
They aren’t even trying to do anything else right now
Am I missing something???
I’m confused



lion snake has changed their name to ahHHH

Tikki woke me up my phone was muted
She says
Waitw e dont hav etime for this
Ive gotta transform so Ill talk to you when I get there??

dipshit: It’s fine just watching an akuma build a tower out of cars
Remind me to show you how to sync Skype up to your yoyo

ahHHH: Youre on skype on your baton??

dipshit: Yeah it makes things easier

ahHHH: Huh
Al and nino didnt wake up?

dipshit: I think the akumas too far away for them to hear, but also it’s not exactly being distructive
When we actually start fighting people might start waking up but for now it’s being pretty quiet even with the car stacking

ahHHH: Well thats good they need their sleep
Wait if the akuma was quiet how did you know??

dipshit: People started posting to the Ladyblog forums and I had that open in another tab

ahHHH: ???/
Why were you up????

dipshit: Bad night
I couldn’t sleep so I put on Howl’s Moving Castle

ahHHH: Feeling any better?

dipshit: I’m sure I’ll feel better when I see you :3

ahHHH: Oh myg do
Itst oo early for this
Ill see you in fa few just stop that cat face

dipshit: ;3

Chapter Text


sorting hat: what the fuck was i thinking
were french
wed go to beauxbatons
oh also @alya akuma attack

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: but thats bORING
wait what

sorting hat: please dont leave the house
im too tired

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ….
nino what the fuck is thsi akuma

sorting hat: why would i know???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: bc i dont

sorting hat: love that 3 in the morning logic

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: all thats on the forums is pics of it stacking cars???????????
@hawkmoth wyd

sorting hat: being a dick probably

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok tru
oooo something new in the inbox of the ladyblog
make ur bets now

sorting hat: i say random theory

dipshit: Fanart duh

sorting hat: bro!!! youre up!! <3

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: gm marshmallow my love

sorting hat: howd you wake up? did the akuma get close to your house and finally make noise or osmething?

dipshit: Oh I never went to bed

sorting hat:

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: what the SHI T

dipshit: Trust me, I would’ve if I wanted to

sorting hat: mari is the only one of us with any sense

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: shes a smart one

dipshit: Yeah
Anyway what’s in the inbox

sorting hat:

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: thank u bab much appreciated but also ur a nerd
anyway its
waht ths hit
hlyk fucik

sorting hat: uhhhh alya you ok??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i S HTIS  AK JOKE

dipshit: Well what is it??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: IS T A FICKUING VIDOE WITH CHANT OIRS  FACE AS THE THUMBLNAIL

sorting hat: wait like
like he shot it himself??

dipshit: That’s some dedication is it like mid-akuma fight or something

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ahhhHHH I DON TKNOW I HAVNE TWATCHED IT YET
i can t;breakt h
im oginna die nsow

sorting hat: please dont die on us
yo send me the link fam

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DINOSUAR SCREEEECH  

dipshit: Did you mean pterodactyl screech

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THISNK I CAN SPELL THAT NR

dipshit: Honestly I didn’t even spell it right I had to use spellcheck

sorting hat: smh fake fan
i bet you cant even name ten dinosaurs

dipshit: Do you want me to try???

sorting hat: no no i do not
not right now
maybe after school

dipshit: Does spelling count

sorting hat: yup
scientific names only too bro no long neck bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub:

sorting hat: dang they look exhaust ed
and that akuma really is just stacking cars

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i need a flashing gif thatj us tsays

sorting hat: bro thi s is so accurate to staying up until 3 am tho

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: HE CALLED HER PERFEC T

dipshit: Missed pun opportunity
Could’ve said purrfect

sorting hat: im kicking you out

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: MARHSMALLOW I LIVOE U
also i think theyr right about it being a kid

sorting hat: but like lb said its really late

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i mean tru

sorting hat: it looks like theyre building a castel
or somethng

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: a fortress!!!

sorting hat: yeah!!!

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: to protect them from d r a g o n s
or scary things

sorting hat: yo it couldve just been a kid with a nightmare if you by that

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: god whne the girls have a nightmare its ROUGH
sometiems nothing will get them back to bed
cant blame them i mean
one of  the things that helps them is drwing nightmares
fuk i woudlnt want to go back to sleep either

dipshit: The akumas building a fortress huh?

sorting hat: idk man we arent talking to the akuma
ask chat

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh yeah no that failed

sorting hat: ????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: he tried to talk to them and they just like
picked him up and threw him away
some1 submitted a video
rip chat noir

dipshit: Sounds painful

sorting hat: rip in pepperoni
anyway if you look at the akuma theyre sorta dressed up ya know

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i wanna say ur projecting the castle thing but ur right that thing in their hair looks like a crown

dipshit: Huh you’re right

sorting hat: man i need to sleep
akumas are bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i just watche dthe video for the sixth itm e
im gnna memorize it

sorting hat: babe please
if youre gonna memorize something you should wait for a better vidoe

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THINK THEYLLY SEND A NOTHER

sorting hat: idk why not
they sent thsi one

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh snap here come the amgic ladybugs
there the y go

sorting hat: sleep

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok godo plan
see u in a few hours 2 cry


PM between dipshit and ahHHH

ahHHH: I cannot bleieve you used our friends to stop an akuma

dipshit: Can you please let me live

ahHHH: I cant believe you sent taht video to alya

dipshit: Did you see how happy she was?????

ahHHH: Oh my god
Im going to bed
Please actually sleep???

dipshit: Uhh
No promises but I’ll try my best

ahHHH: You better
Night kittne

dipshit: See you in a few hours
Night bugaboo


7:58 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i want to die

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub has changed their name to ladynoir keeps me living

ladynoir keeps me living renamed this conversation to “life is meaningless”.

dipshit: Optimistic

ahHHH: Fuck m y life and efverythign in it




ladynoir keeps me living has renamed this conversation to “what the fUCK”.

ladynoir keeps me living: what the fuc k what thif cuk what teh kcuk

sorting hat: babe im standing right next to you
im processing
gimme a fucking second

ladynoir keeps me living: ... 

sorting hat: ok i had a second

ladynoir keeps me living: whaT ETH FCUK


PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG WHAT THE FUC K

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and dipshit

ladynoir keeps me living: answer uR GODDAMN PHON E

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: did i just see what i htink i saw
did alya and i see what we think i saw
adrien agreste
are you here
shit dude


PM between sorting hat and ahHHH

sorting hat: dude
dude what was that
how long has that been a thing
goddammit guys


PM between ahHHH and dipshit

dipshit: Uh
I’m really sorry about that
It just

ahHHH: Its fine
Youre fine
Its fine
Were all fine

dipshit: Are they…?

ahHHH: Yup
I have
So many messages
Oh my go d

dipshit: I’m so sorry

ahHHH: Its both our faults or something

dipshit: You want Alya or Nino

ahHHH: Uh lets do this the simplest way you go nino i go alya
Good luck

dipshit: Same to you

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: What

ladynoir keeps me living: ok deep breaths
do not what me
i saw that
nino saw that
you lived it

ahHHH: lived what

ladynoir keeps me living: U JUST KISSED ADRIEN AGREST E

ahHHH: um


PM between sorting hat and dipshit

dipshit: Hey Nino
What’s up

sorting hat: ha ha very funny
alyas having a cow
but seriously
did you and marinette kiss

dipshit: Uhh
I mean yes
Yes we did
There was lip touching going on there
It was an accident


PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: It was an accident!!!!

ladynoir keeps me living: an aCCIDENT

ahHHH: Were both really tired and we were standing next to each otehr and idont know what happened

ladynoir keeps me living: what did u fall asleep on each others lips or something?!??!??!?!?!?


PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: an accident

dipshit: I kind of
Wasn’t thinking

sorting hat: really fucknig smooth bro

dipshit: Sue me

sorting hat: no thank s
are you two dating now or?

dipshit: No we’re not

sorting hat: but you like marinette
before you say no
please know i just saw you lock lips
and i also am your best friend
and also have eyes

dipshit: Ok yes I like her

sorting hat: so are you gonna ask her out

dipshit: Uhh
I don’t think so

sorting hat: bruh
why not??

dipshit: It’s complicated


PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: i hate both of u
ur actuallt he worst

ahHHH: Im sorry???

ladynoir keeps me living: MAKE OUT ALREADY

ahHHH: Alya stop!!!!! We arent dating or anyhting

ladynoir keeps me going: what hte fUCK
why not!!!!!
u kissed!!!
u 2 talk all the time
u make each other laugh
u spend a ton of time together
u like each other
ur dating

ahHHH: Al Im not dating adrien!!!

ladynoir keeps me going: ok fine
but u could

ahHHH: By that logic I could also be dating you and nino

ladynoir keeps me going: yes
yes u could be

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: complicated???
what about it is complicated??????
you like her she likes you
if you havent figured that out by now
i dont know what to tell you dude
other than maybe all that homeschooling made you worse at social interaction than we thought
cause its freaking obvious man
like really

dipshit: It really is complicated, I swear

sorting hat: what?? do you like someone else too or something?

dipshit: Yeah
I do

sorting hat: who?
ladybug still??
i mean same ladybug is fucking awesome and ive been in a room with teh two of you
chemistry and awkwardness
but like
dont take this the wrong way dude but
what are your chances?
im not gonna pull an alya and say lb and cn are a thing
but how well would dating a superhero really work out?
you like mari mari likes you
youve already kissed once
you guys are so close already
might as well just change the relationship status on facebook you know?
ok well
think on it dude
ill be here if you wanna talk


PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: Its not that simple

ladynoir keeps me living: yes it is?
do u like him? yes
does he like u? yes
did u like kissing him? im gonna guess yes
is it the asking out part ur scared of cause i can totally bug him into asking u out first

ahHHH: No its not that its just
Its kinda complicated

ladynoir keeps me living: ??????

ahHHH: I cant really

ladynoir keeps me living: mari u ok??
do u need me to come over cause i can

ahHHH: No its ok Im fine

ladynoir keeps me living: did adrien do smth
do i need to beat him up

ahHHH: No!
No its not him
Adrien is perfect

ladynoir keeps me living: sap

ahHHH: Just
Give me a minute

ladynoir keeps me living: ill wait for u to text first

ahHHH: Thanks

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

dipshit: So

ahHHH: So

dipshit: That happened

ahHHH: Yup

dipshit: Nino asked if we were dating

ahHHH: Alya did too

dipshit: Mari I like you a lot

ahHHH: And I really like you too
But theres a but right?

dipshit: Yeah
You too?

ahHHH: Yeah

dipshit: I think we should just
Wait? A little bit?

ahHHH: I was thinking the same thing
Not necessarily a long time just

dipshit: Exactly
I mean I’ve been in love with you for months honestly
But there’s…

ahHHH: Same here
I’ve had a huge embarrassing crush on you since the beginning of the year

dipshit: Glad we’re the same level of awkward and embarrassing

ahHHH: That wasnt our first kiss
By the way
Thought you should
Probably know at this point

dipshit: Wait what?

ahHHH: Dark Cupid?
You um
I needed to break his hold on you and I remembered class and there had been something about a kis sbreaking a spell so
You didnt remember so I didnt say anything
Maybe I shouldve
I jsut felt
Really awkward about it???

dipshit: Oh


dipshit: It’s fine!!!
Really it’s fine
It sounds like it’d be awkward to bring up
But thanks for telling me
I appreciate it

ahHHH: Of course
Im gonna do some homeowrk so I can go to bed early tonight
Hopefully Hawkmoth will leave us alone

dipshit: Oh god I hope so
I can’t do another late night
That was terrible

ahHHH: That video was awful
But it was fun
You might sway me on this social media thing yet kitty

dipshit: :3c

ahHHH: Youre the w o r s t

dipshit: I know
Let me know if you have any problems with chem or physics
I did the homework while she was going over the stuff from yesterday

ahHHH: Its unfair how smart you are

dipshit: Promise you’ll ask for help??

ahHHH: Yeah I promise
Dont you have piano today?

dipshit: Yup and I should probably go get ready for that
Good luck my lady

ahHHH: You too kitten

Chapter Text

19:45 in what the fUCK

ladynoir keeps me living has renamed this conversation to “ur in”.



sorting hat: what 

ladynoir keeps me living: one day ur in
and the next day  


ladynoir keeps me living: its like shes summoned
i love it  

ahHHH has changed their name to its red

ladynoir keeps me living: ahhh yes the pg version  

its red: :P

sorting hat: not that im complaining but waht brought this on??? 

ladynoir keeps me living: memes

sorting hat: yeah ok not surprising 

dipshit: What did I come back to?

its red: Project runway!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ladynoir keeps me living: i love how passionate she is about it
it keeps me living
so cute 

sorting hat: maris been a fan since like
it started

its red: Yes!!! Ive been watching for forever I lvoe it
I mean the challenges look ridiculous and Id probably fail so hard  

ladynoir keeps me living: lies

dipshit: No you wouldn’t

sorting hat: bruh youd win

its red: But I love watching it and its usually unnecessary drama
I love it so much?????????????????? 

ladynoir keeps me living: aww mari ilysm <3 <3
we gotta wathc it together sometime 

its red: Omg nooooo Im t e r r i b l e when I watch it!!! Nino knows
I make suuuch annoying commentary 

sorting hat: dude no!! its not annoying its hilarious
mari knows whats up
and shes not afraid to say when something is ugly as fuck  

ladynoir keeps me living: fugly
that is the fugliest effing skirt ive ever seen

its red: I havent said THAT
But GOD some color choices??
Smh arent you supposed to be good at this? 

sorting hat: oh shIT

ladynoir keeps me living: !!!! project runway we gotta make it a Thing

sorting hat: why?

ladynoir keeps me living: bc listening to adrien and mari make commentary sounds like the best thing ever????
and also bc i love u all n wanna spend more time with u ilysm <3 

its red: <3 <3 <3

ladynoir keeps me living: btw!!!!
u on boo  

dipshit: Yeah I am!
Sorry I was doing homework
Technically I muted the chat but it’s open so muting it was kind of pointless 

ladynoir keeps me living: lmao good going marsh

its red: Nerd

sorting hat: better than the rest of us

its red: True

ladynoir keeps me living: anyway
my point
adrien ur dad reminds me of tim gunn  

dipshit: ????

its red: Oh my god……………..

sorting hat: except for the part where tim cares about the contestants lol

its red: I see it

ladynoir keeps me living: and ull never unsee it

ladynoir keeps me living has changed their name to the worst

dipshit: I don’t see it

the worst: ofc u dont ur u
ive gotchu boo
Gabriel Agreste

Tim Gunn

sorting hat: wow that was fast 

the worst: always have ur sources ready

its red: A;lkadslkfje al youre right Im never gonna unsee this
Oh my god  

dipshit: …………….
I kind of see this 

the worst: VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now we just need to get ur dad to say ‘make it work’
my life will be Complete 

sorting hat: id die

the worst: u could say adriens a real
son of a gunn 

its red: Im leaving  

dipshit has changed their name to son of a gunn

the worst: hell yeah
im living
this is a Gr9 day 

sorting hat: itll be great until you decide to mail a bunch of pictures of tim gunn to the agrestes or something

its red: Nino

son of a gunn: Dude

the worst: no worries i cant afford to actually mail stuff
i can stuff them in ur mail thingy tho
i need mor ememes brb 

sorting hat: did you guys know that alya has a meme folder thats organized by meme type

its red: Yup

son of a gunn: Yeah she showed me the other day
It’s terrifyingly impressive
A meme goal  

sorting hat: wild

son of a gunn: While Al looks for memes I’m gonna work on physics

its red: Please help me once you figure it out I have no idea wahts happening ; ^ ;
I tried but I failed and Im dying 

sorting hat: relatable
fuck physics  

son of a gunn: I’m trying 

its red: I hate you

sorting hat: have fun wiht the hw my dude



the worst: i hAVE A MEME FOR THAT 

sorting hat: of course you do 

the worst:
I don't get it
can i spam

sorting hat: not stopping you

the worst: helllllll yeah
me whenever chloe is being That Way:
Project Obnoxious
me in school:
What just happened?

sorting hat: hawk moth whenever lb and cn beat his akuma

the worst: lmao truuuuu
when the akuma starts ranting:

sorting hat: me 99% of the time  

the worst: marinette:
Sew Stitches

sorting hat: oh my god
shes ruthless  

the worst: t b h
me @ all of u (and also lb and cn <3):
I love you 

sorting hat: aww babe
oh yo! speaking of the supers i got some rad pics of them on patrol a few minutes ago 

the worst: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
share share share share 

sorting hat: already emailed dude

the worst: YES
im ready
i love these things why is project runway so great
can we go harry potter and find out how to print oug ifs

sorting hat: bro thatd be so rad
why dont we have this technology yet 

the worst: back to teh future lied to us

sorting hat: im personally offended 

the worst: me realizing we were betrayed by b2tf:

sorting hat: me too



sorting hat has changed their name to lol death



the worst:

lol death: did you already have that saved or did you spend almost 20 min searching for it

the worst: shut ur face
i have it saved
i was doing hw
like a good student 

lol death: ok fuck you too then

its red: Guys please Im so tired 

lol death: me too my man

the worst: awww mar love its not even 21:30???

its red: Yeah but????
Akuma attack last night near my house and the one this mornign
Al Im dying  

the worst: o rite

lol death: i wonder if hawk moth takes complaints

the worst: hey girl is all ur hw done??

its red: No but as much as Im gonan get done
Im going to bed
Love you see you tomorrow <3 <3 

PM between its red and son of a gunn 

son of a gunn: Hey Mari
I only left your house like two minutes ago  

its red: Ye Im perfectly aware
I was there 

son of a gunn: :P I was just gonna say that you still had makeup on when I left

its red: FUC K

son of a gunn: Yeah you might want to take that off

its red: Ok brb I have to scrub this off

son of a gunn: Sounds good
Honestly I’m too tired to even move from the couch
I sat down when I got back and I don’t think I can get back up
Not even worth getting up to put on pjs
Im;definitely falling asleep ok nigh t 

its red: Wait
Wiat you didnt change
GEt up
Im calling you butt 

Call failed.

its red: A D R I E N  A G R E S T E

son of a gunn: Jesus chrsit mari at least as k me to dinner first
Plagg i s pissed btw

its red: THANK GOD
Change. Now.  

son of a gunn: But Im confortble??? And sleepy

its red: I can tell from your typing abilities 

son of a gunn: I hate you

its red: Take your binder off Adrien

son of a gunn: Oh fuck
You should’ve just said that 

its red: Listen Im tired too
I took off my makeup and started putting it bac k on  

son of a gunn: Why>???

its red: Hell if I know  

son of a gunn: Sorry Plagg and I are usually more on top of this we’re just
Really tired 

its red: Tired??
I figured 

son of a gunn: Thank you <3

its red: Is it off??

son of a gunn: Yup
I’m awake now though
Thanks for that 

its red: Youre welcome
I am too
Dont scare me like that
I thoguht I was gonna have to transform and come over

son of a gunn: Sorry about that
Wann a rabbit ghibli movies until we pass out 

its red: Yes please
Ill probably fall asleep soon  

son of a gunn: Its fine
I probably will too

its red: <3 <3 <3 love you

5:28 in ur in 

lol death: im awake and crave death



the worst: babe the fuck???

lol death: idk man my body didnt want to sleep anymore

the worst: ur body is rude 

lol death: tell me about it
got any memes for this  

the worst: prw memes??? hmmm
lemme check my stash 

lol death: youre ridiculous  

the worst: yeah but you love me anyway so???? whos the real loser???????
I feel numb
actually thats me most of the time

lol death: me when adrien and marinette said they kissed on accident

the worst: jfc same
me @ u waking up b4 6:
This Worries Me
me when u dont get enough sleep:
me when u complain later today:

lol death: youre never going to stop are you

the worst: nope
i dont even know what to use this ofr
8 Years

son of a gunn: What is even happening here

lol death: the usual 

the worst: memes of ur dad

son of a gunn: Not surprising

lol death: hey youre usually up at ungodly times
7:10 is kinda late for you  

son of a gunn: Mari and I couldn’t sleep so we stayed up and watched ghibli movies
I’m kinda wiped  

the worst: we werent invited??????
i feel betrayed
me when i read that:

lol death: i need you to Stop

the worst: never 

son of a gunn: We didn’t even talk we just let the movies run

the worst: no declarations of love??

son of a gunn: What

the worst: no midnight makeouts????

son of a gunn: ??? through??? a computer??????

the worst: literally all you did was watch a movie in silence

son of a gunn: Yes????

the worst:

lol death: ok im breaking up with you

the worst:
Crop Tops


son of a gunn: I’m gonna wear a crop top so hard today Alya just watch me

the worst: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crop Tops

Chapter Text


son of a gunn: NASA!!! PLANETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

son of a gun has changed their name to trappist



the worst: as adorable as it is to see u nerd out like the loser u are
sleep boi

trappist: WHO CAN SLEEP AT A TIME LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol death: hello my dudes why are we yelling

trappist: NASA!!!!!!!!!

lol death: nice
the one good thing the americans gave us

the worst: what about youtube

lol death: shit youre right
what about nasa bro

trappist: SEVEN NEW PLANETS!!!
Oh my god oh my god
Ok so it’s actually probably best if you just read stuff on it???
Because I don’t know if I’m going to explain it well
I mean I definitely won’t btu
NASA found seven planets orbiting TRAPPIST-1!!!
And three are in the habitable zone of the star which is

the worst: this is rlly cute but im also lost

lol death: yo my man if youre free at all today you can ramble/show me as many videos/articles as youd like

trappist: REally???

lol death: of course!
i love hearing you talk about stuff like this man
the day the confirmed gravitational waves was awesome

trappist: WASN’T IT??????!?!?!?!!!
Anyway!! They’re nicknamed Goldilocks planets Al!!

the worst: o shit i know what that means!!!

trappist: The three in the habitable zone are the best candidates for supporting life!!!!!!!!

the worst: does this mean

lol death: holy shit

the worst: alIENS  

trappist: ALIENS!!!!!!

lol death: a l i e n s



its red: I love you all but why do you not sleep

lol death:

the worst:


the worst: awww i love u 2 <3 <3

its red: …………..
Im going back to bed

trappist: MarI WAIT BUT ALIEN S

its red: Im not watching any conspiracy videos


its red: Get moRE SLEEP


lol death: ILLUMINATI

the worst: *X FILES THEME SONG*




trappist: YOU’RE SCARY


trappist: I ALWAYS AM


the worst: N E V E R

its red: FUC K



the worst: should pluto be a planet again
(spoiler: it should)

trappist: I don’t know…

the worst: u donT BELIEVE IN PLUTO

trappist: I mean
If Pluto is a planet so is Ceres and a bunch of other celestial bodies past Neptune?
If I’m remembering right, I haven’t read up on this in a while

the worst: firsT OF ALL

the worst has renamed this conversation to “viva la pluto fuck u”.

the worst has changed their name to pluto is better than u

trappist: Wow
I mean…
Hell, Al
Next you’re going to say there’s only 86 elements on the periodic table
Data changes!!! That’s how science works!

pluto is better than u: SECOND OF ALL

trappist: Why am I telling this to NASA

pluto is better than u: PLUTO MIGHT BE A PLANET AGAIN FUCK U

trappist: Wait what??? Since when????

pluto is better than u: i thought u were the resident nerd
shouldnt u b up 2 date on all this???

trappist: No???

pluto is better than u: google is ur friend

Alya this was literally DAYS AGO
How would I know this?????
Also, the official NASA site hasn’t changed
I trust the scientists and NASA. If/when they make an official announcement, I’ll get back to you on Pluto’s planetary status

pluto is better than u: nerd

trappist: <3



lol death: @adrien
on my way dude
hope youre ready to scream about space

trappist: !!!!! <3 <3 <3



its red: I keep missing space talk

pluto is better than u: is pluto a planet mari

its red: Pluto is whatever it wants to be

pluto is better than u: cop out



lol death has changed their name to space bro

space bro: first of all seeing adrien nerd out about space is probably the cutest thing ever
second of all thiS IS SO RAD

trappist: I KNOW!!!!!!!!

its red: Hmmm I need a space name

its red has changed their name to galaxy print

galaxy print: Perfect

space bro: adrien is literally like vibrating hes so excited
this is adorable?

trappist: Space is so cool!!!
I wanted to be an astronaut when I was little for a while!
My mom taught me so many stars

galaxy print: ???

pluto is better than u: i didnt know chloe liked space

trappist: She knew more about stars than I did growin gup 
Ok brb

space bro: have fun dude!!

PM between galaxy print and pluto is better than u

galaxy print: Alyaaaaaaaaaaaaa

pluto is better than u: i kno babe
ohhh i kno

galaxy print: Hes so cute and Im dying

pluto is better than u: same??
u can get through this

galaxy print: AaaaahhHHHHHHHH

21:24 in viva la pluto fuck u

trappist: I love space

pluto is better than u: go 2 bed nerd

trappist: It’s not that late!
Besides, I don’t think anyone else is asleep
Role call

galaxy print: Shhhh Im trying to work on a dress
The pattern is lowkey killing me

pluto is better than u: aww rip

trappist: I’m sure it’s beautiful

galaxy print: <3

space bro: im just working on some tracks
ill bring them to school tomorrow cause i need a second opinion

pluto is better than u: !!!!!
im ready

trappist: Told you everyone was awake Al

pluto is better than u: fite me
man everyone is doing creative stuff i feel lame
r u doing creative stuff marshmallow

trappist: Nah I’m reading more science articles

pluto is better than u: ok not surprising
does this mean i have to entertain myself??
youtube here i come



pluto is better than u:



galaxy print: Alya wtf

pluto is better than u: this is why u dont leave me alone



trappist: That vampire looks traumatized

space bro: why is a pumpkin hitting on a vampire

pluto is better than u: The Straights r at it again

galaxy print: Alya I hate you

pluto is better than u: <3



pluto is better than u: 2 make up for that
here u go
i swear its cool

trappist: Oh my god this must’ve taken forever????

pluto is better than u: r u gonna nerd out now?

trappist: ………
The physics of the bottles to get them to hit the right note—
Ok yes

pluto is better than u: wanna call? i kno its late but im so very very bored

trappist: Bored enough to listen to me talk about the physics of sound?

pluto is better than u: hmmm
u can yell about planets too

trappist: Nice
Ok give me two seconds

PM between pluto is better than u and trappist

22:34: Call started

PM between pluto is better than u and space bro

pluto is better than u: how is he like this

space bro: adrien??

pluto is better than u: yup
hes so excited>?? what is this

space bro: get used to it man
he literally never stops

pluto is better than u: i kno i call him sunshine byt om g

space bro: same tbh

PM between pluto is better than u and galaxy print

pluto is better than u: ur bf is too cute for me
im dyin g

galaxy print: Oh myg od we arent dating al

pluto is better than u: get on that girl oh my god

galaxy print: Hes really cute though isnt he omg
I hat ehim

pluto is better than u: uh huh

PM between pluto is better than u and trappist

23:52: Call ended: 1 hour 18 minutes 22 seconds

pluto is better than u: @skype why r u like this

trappist: Hey it worked for a lot longer than usual!!
This is probably a sign that I should sleep
You too

pluto is better than u: :///
k fine
night adrien!! <3 <3 <3

trappist: Night Al<3

Chapter Text


pluto is better than u:
pour one out for vine



space bro: alya
i love you
but why do you never sleep
my dude



pluto is better than u: rip vine
u were a good



space bro: yo mari you coming today



pluto is better than u: hello hello hellloooooooooo

PM between trappist and galaxy print

trappist: I’m assuming you aren’t going to class today
I’m going in late because of a photoshoot, but I can swing by during lunch with work if you want some? Or later tonight?
Just let me know



galaxy print: So rry Ij ust woke up
Holy  on I cant typ ern
Oh go d

space bro: oh man dude are you ok????

pluto is better than u: D: D: D:
mari ur worst than me when im sleep deprived

galaxy print: FIght me alys

pluto is better than u has changed their name to alys

galaxy print: Fucck you

alys: i luvve u

galaxy print: Im gonn a vough on you

space bro: im guessing youre sick

galaxy print has changed their name to cough cough

cough cough: Ye

alys: babe :(

space bro: feel better mar!!
you arent missing anything much its all boring

alys: ummm IM LONELY
thats important!!!!!

cough cough:  you ve got the boys right in fornt of you

alys: yeah but

space bro: want us to drop your work off at your place after school dude?

cough cough: No
I dont want towork

trappist: I’m already on it
You two can tag along if you want though

cough cough: D:
I dont awnt it
My hea d hursts

space bro: we can come over and chill with you


space bro: ^^^

cough cough: Im siCK
I dont want you gettin s ick too

alys renamed this conversation to “boo you whore”.

space bro: back at it again with the american memes

alys: mean girls is not restricted to one country
it is Iconic and international and also timeless

cough cough: Can you qote the hwole movie?

space bro: mari dude go back to bed
like ily but rest my man

alys: nah i cant but marsh can

cough cough: Wha t

space bro: hold up

alys: B)

trappist has changed their name to glen coco

glen coco: I guess it’s natural for parents to cry on their kid’s first day of school
But you know this usually happens when the kid is five
I’m sixteen
And until today
I was homeschooled

space bro: alright damn
confession time ive only seen like half of mean girls

alys removed space bro from this group.

cough cough: Ru de

alys: not seeing mean girls is an insult to my honor

cough cough: Ok princ e zuko

glen coco added space bro to this group.

alys: hmmm who would b the zuko of our group
antagonist turned  good

space bro: first of all
fuck you alya

alys: ;*

space bro: second of all what are we doing now??
i thought we were on mean girls

alys: the gorup chat stops for no one babe

cough cough: I dont think any of us arE Zuko???

glen coco: Yeah, as much as I love Zuko I don’t think I’m even remotely close to him
Not honor driven enough

alys: not angsty enough

space bro: i dunno
adrien cn be pretty angsty

alys: poll time say aye if you had a crush on prince zuko growing up
not book 1 zuko that was some bullshit
were talking book 3 redemption arc zuko
the Good Shit
cause aye as fuck

space bro: aye

glen coco: Aye

cough cough: ay e

alys: im glad were friends



glen coco: Hey Mari we’re on our way



alys: if ur unconsciou s can i nap w u im wiped

space bro: shes not gonna answer if shes asleep babe
also just joining her for a nap is weir d

alys: im standing right next to u
insult me 2 my face u coward

space bro: ok

glen coco: Mari I hope you’re awake because please save me from these two



cough cough: Ye I wasnt awak e
My he ad hurt sstill and my eyes got like
Stuck shut?????

alys: nothings tmi when it comes to u <3

space bro: id like to argue that there are in fact somethings that ARE tmi
but yaeh this isnt one of them
were chilling in the park across the street cause your mom said you were asleep
she offered to just take your hw but we said wed wait to explain it all

alys: pfff theres no explanation needed
we just wanted 2 see u

cough cough: Ugh you dindt have to do that
I dont want to ge tanyone sick

space bro: you wont!!!

cough cough: You odnt know htat!!!


PM between cough cough and glen coco

glen coco: Obviously patrol for tonight is canceled

cough cough: :(
TIkki said shed leave if I tired to go
And i STarted cryin g

glen coco: Aww Mari
She wouldn’t leave you she just wants you to take care of yourself
Tikki loves  you too much to leave you

cough cough: Im going to start crying again

glen coco: D:
NOT my intention!!!
Do you need a hug??

cough cough: NO

glen coco: We’re in your living room and on our way up

cough cough: nooooooooo
Im gross and crying rnight now why eould you do thsi to me

glen coco: Because we love you and you definitely need a hug right now
And maybe more medication

cough cough: This s the wors thting to ever happen ot m e

glen coco: Knock knock

cough cough: :/


16:21 in boo you whore

cough cough: I hate yoiu all
Thanks for coming over <3 <3

alys: <3

space bro: of course dude!! you looked like you needed the company

cough cough: If you all get sick you can tblam e me
I told you not to come near me
Cuddling mgihtve been too much

glen coco: Cuddling is never too much

alys: ^^^

space bro: ditto



alys: hello?
fuck my life and everything in it

space bro: you think i can bribe hawkmoth into taking a day off

PM between cough cough and glen coco

cough cough: Oh no

glen coco: Do not

cough cough: I have to???
I feel like Im gonna fall over
THe world is spinny
Oh n o

glen coco: I fight the akuma, you do nothing until you absolutely have to
We can’t have you falling off a roof or something

cough cough: Do you think if I just cry at the akuma itll purify itself

glen coco: We can try

cough cough: :(

Chapter Text

3:12 in boo you whore

cough cough: gmoring i cant brethe out of mynose rn
Im not goin g ot be in school today
Bu ti cant sleep anymore because I cnat breath e
iim gonna go watch youtube videos



space bro: my dude
i hope youre feeling better when you wake up



glen coco: If you’re not turn on the shower really hot and sit in the bathroom with the steam

alys: or drown urself in cold medicine

glen coco: Don’t do that

space bro: never listen to alya

alys: dont listen to these traitors


PM between glen coco and cough cough

glen coco: I bet the akuma attack last night really didn’t help
Don’t worry about anything today I can handle it unless it’s another akuma
Just get some rest

10:03 in boo you whore

cough cough: Self care is chugging five cups of tea and astral projecting behind a mcdonalds to punch hawkmoth in the face



glen coco: Mari no

alys: mari yes

space bro: mari wtf

cough cough: Im dyin g

alys: tag urself im punching hm in the face

space bro: im astral projection

glen coco: Five c ups of tea

cough cough: Does that make me the mcdonalds

space bro: congrats mari

glen coco: I can’t believe Mari is the golden arches

alys has changed their name to punching hawkmoth in the face

punching hawkmoth in the face: im finally my True Self
gang follwo suit

cough cough: Why shoul d I LISten to you

punching hawkmoth in the face: bc u love me and want me 2 b happy
and also bc i still have ur jacket in my bedroom

cough cough: Fuck

cough cough has changed their name to mcdonalds

space bros: al youre ridic

punching hawkmoth in the face: just do it babe

space bros has changed their name to astral projection

astral projection: there ya go

glen coco: Rip Glen Coco

punching hawkmoth in the face: truly a her o of his generation :’(

mcdonalds: RIp

glen coco has changed their name to five cups of tea

five cups of tea: Rebirth

mcdonalds: I hate you all img oing ot bed

punching hawkmoth in the face: goodnight my darlign <3

astral projection: nap well bro
hopefully you feel better when you wake up



punching hawkmoth in the face: remind me to throw my bag in the seine
i dont wanna do hw :(

astral projection: i feel you

punching hawkmoth in the face: wanna get togheter and do hw

astral projection: do homework
“do homework”

punching hawkmoth in the face: have u ever met me
“””””””do homework”””””””

astral projection: i need to figure out physics my dude

punching hawkmoth in the face: D’:

five cups of tea: I can help you when I get home tonight

punching hawkmoth in the face: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

astral projection: the real mvp
i love you

five cups of tea: I love you too
Have fun
Use protection

astral projection: alya please kick him out of the chat

punching hawkmoth in the face: no i like him

astral projection: fuck



mcdonalds: Screens hurt my head irhgt now
Im gonna watch reruns and keep sleepng

punching hawkmoth in the face: feel better babe <3



five cups of tea: Ok so the other day instead of doing homework I started reading les mis
ANd now instead of doing homework I’m reading les mis again
I can’t believe this is how I’m procrastinating

astral projection: what

punching hawkmoth in the face: the musical????

five cups of tea: No the book
Which the musical is based off of

astral projection: what a nerd

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao
how is it

five cups of tea: Old

punching hawkmoth in the face: how long?

five cups of tea: Uhhh
655,000 words

mcdonalds: jesus

astral projection: what the actual fuck

punching hawkmoth in the face: holllllly fuck

astral projection: you my dude are unreal

punching hawkmoth in the face: for fun???? r u sure this is for fun???????

five cups of tea: I think so?
It’s kind of boring sometimes and hard to get through but other parts are really good
Also if I’m reading I don’t have to practice chinese

punching hawkmoth in the face: touche

astral projection: have fun reading bro
you are unbelievable


PM between five cups of tea and mcdonalds

five cups of tea: Hey why are you up? I thought you were heading off to bed a while ago?

mcdonalds: I didnt take nyquil tonight because I felt a little better and didnt want to pass the fuck out again but now Im awake and cant sleep because my head feels like its gonna explode
And I regret
So much

five cups of tea: Aw no poor bug

mcdonalds: Ugh

five cups of tea: Do you want anything?

mcdonalds: You dont have to

five cups of tea: Do you want anything?
If you want soup I can get you some

mcdonalds: Its like???? Really late?????

five cups of tea: Mar its only 20:30

mcdonalds: Oh
It feels like 1
But its still late

five cups of tea: Ok well
Late night food is not a new thing
Trust me

If you brought me soup Id love you forever

five cups of tea: I thought you already did

mcdonalds: Id love you even more

five cups of tea: I’ll be on my way soon

mcdonalds: I love you so much <3

23:35 in boo you whore

punching hawkmoth in the face: what if you took tea in shots
like shot glasses

five cups of tea: Like with hot tea?

astral projection: i feel like thats a good way to burn your entire mouth

five cups of tea: *entire life

astral projection: ^^^

punching hawkmoth in the face: hmmm

five cups of tea: Alya no

astral projection: yeah bad idea

punching hawkmoth in the face: f i n e



mcdonalds: sos Im dying
I constantly feel like Im about to sneeze
If I dont feel that way its cause Im sneezing

astral projection: rip my dude
guessing you cnat sleep while sneezing

mcdonalds: Nope :’(
End my suffering please

astral projection: no can do
i can offer virtual hugs

mcdonalds: I guess thatll work for now

astral projection: <3



PM between five cups of tea and mcdonalds

five cups of tea: Hey
I have something to show you

mcdonalds: Adrien its 2 in the morning

five cups of tea: So? You’re up too

mcdonalds: I slept all day

mcdonalds: Yeah but you’re awake right now

Hit me

five cups of tea: “When they had finished, when they had told each other everything, she laid her head on his shoulder and asked him: ‘What is your name?’”

mcdonalds: Oh my go d
This is les mis right??? What youw ere talking about before??

five cups of tea: Yup

mcdonalds: Omg
Why are you like this

five cups of tea: Ok but am I wrong????

mcdonalds: I cant say you are tbh

five cups of tea: Man I feel like Marius am I like Marius??

mcdonalds: Whats he like?

five cups of tea: Kind of oblivious, pretty romantic but sort of in a weird way, awkward, usually confused but can be scary if he needs to, handsome as hell and love of my life that I would honestly leave all three of you for

mcdonalds: Wow
Are you sure you havent already

five cups of tea: :P

mcdonalds: Are you suddenly realizing youve left us for a fictional character

five cups of tea: No I was oging to say I might be more like Bossuet

mcdonalds: Youre just saying words
I dont know who that is

five cups of tea: He always has bad luck
Like always
Ummmm hold on

mcdonalds: K
Who would I be???

five cups of tea: “He was the constant victim of mischance, hence his merriment. He said, ‘I spend my life walking under ladders.’”

mcdonalds: Ok you mgiht be this Bossuet you bad luck magnet

five cups of tea: For you

mcdonalds: Not cosette?? 
Shes the love interest right

five cups of tea: As much as I love you
Enjolras is the leader in red
And I just can’t help myself

mcdonalds: Nerd
Are you goind to do alya and nino too?

five cups of tea: D u h



mcdonalds: Adrien??
You ok?
Youve been quiet for a while
Or did you fall asleep on your computer again

five cups of tea: No I’m here
I’m just
This is haarrrrrdddddddddd
Alya and Nino are just so deep and complex and awesome and I dont’ know how to place them???

mcdonalds: True
But wow
Slightly offended

five cups of tea: Hey yours is based on a pun
I can pun easy

mcdonalds: G o to sleep kitten
You can sort them in the mornign
Later this morning

five cups of tea: Fine
I hope you’re feeling better

mcdonalds: A little bit!!
The soup definitely helped
Night <3

five cups of tea: Night <3

10:25 in boo you whore

astral projection: saturdays are chill but my mom wants us to clean the entire apartment today and im not about that life



mcdonalds has changed their name to enjolras

enjolras: I have no idea who thi s is but I hope it makes Adrien happy

punching hawkmoth in the face: ????
wahts ahppenign

enjolras: Adrien said I was this charactera t like 2

astral projection: why the fuck do none of you people value sleep

punching hawkmoth in the face: how theh ell did that even come up in conversation

enjolras: He was saying he thinks hes like Marius

astral projection: huh

five cups of tea: I’m not sure yet

astral projection: bro!!!

five cups of tea: I'm thinking either Marius or bossuet for myself

punching hawkmoth in the face: r we supposed 2 know the second one

enjolras: Hes got bad luck
Thats what I got from our convo when no one else was awake

punching hawkmoth in the face: change ur name i want u2b the hopeless romantic

astral projection: isnt he already??

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao

five cups of tea has changed their name to marius

punching hawkmoth in the face: awesome
were u gonna do nino and i??

marius: Yeah I’m just having some trouble

astral projection: yeah were just too unique to be put into little boxes

marius: Exactly

astral projection: that was sarcasm but i love you so much

marius: <3

punching hawkmoth in the face: hey question
not that im doubting maris badassary
but why enjolras

marius: Enjolras is incredibly passionate and would do anything for his friends and the people of Paris
Reminds me of how Marinette is as class president

 PM between marius and enjolras

enjolras: Nice save

marius: Thanks

in boo you whore

astral projection: I see it

marius: Alya could be eponine?

punching hawkmoth in the face: shes the one who cries about marius right

marius: Well I was actually thinking her cause
Ponine she knows her way around
And all that stuff
But yes she cries about Marius she does have a song about that

PM between punching hawkmoth in the face and astral projection

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao did he just give me the character hopelessly in love with marius

astral projection: rip

punching hawkmoth in the face: end my life

in boo you whore

punching hawkmoth in the face: i cna work with that

punching hawkmoth in the face has changed their nickname to eponine

astral projection: and then tehre was one

marius: I’m struggling

enjolras: Arent we all

eponine: Id help but I know literally nothing other than some of the lyrics

astral projection: theres no way that isnt right
im 100% sure those are the actual words


enjolras: Period mood

eponine: general mood

enjolras: Ok same

eponine: mood: red and black but the only words are blood

enjolras renamed this conversation to “red the blood of blood blood blood”

eponine: yes exactly

astral projection: sometimes i wonder why im friends with you

eponine: because u love us and would be sad without us

astral projection: ok yes
but also

marius: I mean maybe Grantaire?
He’s a jack of all trades?
Nino you are…really hard to place
But R might be the best bet

enjolras: Wait a minute

marius: Yes

enjolras: Get out of this chat

marius: </3

astral projection: that is amazing

astral projection has changed their nickname to grantaire

grantaire: in it for the puns

marius: So is Hugo

enjolras: Who

marius: The writer of les mis

eponine: tag yourself im les miserables
all of them

grantaire: you cant be all the miserables

eponine: watch me try

marius: Sorry you must have no idea what’s going on

grantaire: not really
we have nothing to contribute but keep going dude!!!
i love to hear you ramble

eponine: oh oh i have something to contribute

enjolras: You do?

eponine: 24601?
more like 246 so done with your shit

enjolras: Im leaving the country

grantaire: whos shit?

eponine: uh
oh fuck
whos the antagonist again

marius: Society

grantaire: deep

enjolras: Stop being fake deep

eponine: feep
anyway no u butt the police dude

marius: The only evil in les mis IS society
And the Thenardiers

eponine: YES THANK YOU

marius: Javert: do not forget my name
Alya: forgets his name

eponine: fuck you
246 so done with your shit javert

grantaire: thank you for clarifying

eponine: no prob

enjolras: Ok so Im googling stuff to try and figure out whats happening
And wow
This is depressing
¾ of us die

marius has changed their nickname to bossuet

bossuet: Now all of us die

eponine: nope
change back 2 lover boy
ur not dying too

grantaire: um no one is dying my dudes

bossuet: We’re always dying
But fine

bossuet has changed their nickname to marius

enjolras: Im pretty sure Im dying righ tnow
I almost coughed up a lung


enjolras: You arent my mom!!!!!!!!!


enjolras: AHHHHH

eponine: AHHHHHH

grantaire: Ahhhhh?

marius: Ahhhhh

Chapter Text


eponine: dont listen to marinette

enjolras: Ummm????
LIsten to Marinette

eponine: no fuck u

enjolras: :P

grantaire: ????????
what did you do  

eponine: NOTHI N G

enjolras: She tried to chase Chat after the akuma attack and almost fell in the Seine 

eponine: i did not

enjolras: She was 100% ready to swim

eponine: NO I WANS T

grantaire: oh is that where you went

eponine: f i g h t  m e

grantaire: al youd do anything for another interview wiht one of them

eponine: >:(
u arent wrong tho

grantaire: exactly
i cant believe you almost went into the river  

eponine: i hate you



enjolras: Has anyone heard from Adrien today??

grantaire: i talked to him thsi morning

enjolras: When was this morning

grantaire: uhhh like….

enjolras: Sleep??? Is a thing??????????

grantaire: video games are also a thing

enjolras: I hate you

grantaire: </3



eponine: good afternoon i am gay

grantaire: youre bi

eponine: good afternoon i am bi
do u have a moment 2 talk about our lord and savior

enjolras: Why are you like thsi

eponine: im running on like 5 cups of coffee

marius: lmao lame

eponine: what 

grantaire: ?????

enjolras: Did alya steal adriens phone again

eponine: first of all rude
second of all

marius: who even is everyone on here??}
what kind of nerd club is this  

grantaire has changed their name to nino

nino: blame adrien
he got all geeky on us  

eponine has changed their name to ladybugfan2020

ladybugfan2020: hello im still bi

marius: what in fresh hell is going on here

enjolras has changed their name to mari

mari: Who are you???
And why do you have Adriens phone  

marius: because he’s too trusting lol
guess who’s thumbprint is in it and has access to everything 

nino: i know my dude doesnt have anything weird on his phone that he wouldnt want people to see
but still
bro thats ominous  

marius: ;* 

ladybugfan2020: really tho who r u

marius: god i can’t believe you can’t figure it out
who do you think adrien would trust not only with his phone but also enough to put their fingerprint in it????? 

ladybugfan2020: nino
probably not me but a girl can dream

marius: i’m stopping you right there because fictional characters don’t count
i’m honestly offended
is there a block button on skype??? 

mari: Why do you have his phone Chloe? 

marius: wow!!! one of you has a brain!!! a concept 

nino: oh shit he had a big photoshoot today didnt he
man i feel bad that i forgot 

mari: He didnt want to talk about it much dont feel too bad

marius: no shame on you for forgetting
clearly i’m the only one who cares about adrien here 

ladybugfan2020 has removed marius from the group. 

mari: Alya no

ladybugfan2020: alya yes??
i dont like her 

mari: I mean same but Adrein wont know why hes been removed

nino: mars got a point

ladybugfan2020: ugh y do i like either of u

ladybugfan2020 has added marius to the group.

marius: fucking rude

ladybugfan2020: fight me

marius: maybe i will!!!!

nino: last time you did that al got akumatized lets ton e it down

marius left this group

ladybugfan2020 has added marius to this group.

marius: fuck you

ladybugfan2020: oh u wish

marius: i want out

mari: Then put down Adriens phone??

marius: i’m bored
this photoshoot is boring
you’re all JUST as boring though  

marius has changed their name to chlo

chlo: a random reminder that i hate you all and am only talking to you because i’m desperate

nino: im honored

chlo: you should be

ladybugfan2020: new question
y r u at the photoshoot

chlo: cause i was in part of it??

mari: You model?

chlo: ok so clearly i need to talking up myself MORE
i thought that was something people like you wanted me to stop doing
make up your mind 

mari: You cant tell but Im rolling m y eyes

chlo: of course i’m a model have you seen me

nino: unfortunately

chlo: fuck off

ladybugfan2020 has renamed this conversation to “chloe sux”

chlo: fucking
this is why i’m not friends with any of you  

mari: Lets be real you wouldnt be friends with us if we werent like this

chlo: probably true

nino: i dunno
we were pretty close when we were

chlo: oh god don’t remind me
i’ve blocked that from my memory 

nino: what? dont like remembering how we got married on the playground 

chlo: get out of my life lahiffe

nino: are we getting a divorce?? 

mari: No you got divorced when we were 8

ladybugfan2020: i feel like im watching a soap opera
did we all get married on the playground???
i got married to this girl in my class when i was 4 and she was my first kiss good times
we had to break up tho cause she wanted to go on the slide when i wanted to use the monkey bars 

mari: Aw tragic young love

chlo: not surprised

ladybugfan2020: k ive shared every1 else go share ur 1st kiss

mari: Kim in a game of truth or dare when I was eleven

nino: chloe at our wedding

chlo: lame
also i don’t owe you anything cesaire  

ladybugfan2020: i can just ask adrien later

chlo: fuck
ok i kissed alix the day before nino and i got married
alix kissed me
i think it was a dare  

nino: i cannot believe you cheated on me
i want another divorce 

chlo: yeah yeah

ladybugfan2020: whyd u 2 divorce anyway?

nino: chloe didnt invite me to her birthday

chlo: ummm?????
i mean no i didn’t
because it was a girls only sleepover
but also i remember YOU had a crush on mari

ladybugfan2020: just kno i am living

mari: YOu had a crush on me when we wer e 8???

nino: mari i hope you know everyone has had a crush on you

mari: ???????????????

ladybugfan2020: can confirm

chlo: ew they need me to do something i’ll steal adrien’s phone back later
be less lame when i get back 

nino: no promises

ladybugfan2020: lmao anyway
now we just gotta find out who adriens 1st kiss was
any1 kno?  

mari: Nino would know

nino: i mean i do but thats for him to share
im sure he will but ill let him do it 

ladybugfan2020: nice
now we just gotta remember to ask
ive got it 

ladybugfan2020 has renamed this conversation to “who was adrien agrestes first kiss??? find out more at 6”.

mari: Subtle

ladybufan2020: thanks



chlo: i lived bitch

nino: did chloe just meme

chlo: of course i did????
i mean come ON adrien agreste is my best friend
what did you expect?  

nino: nah dude hes my bes t friend

chlo: no he’s not

ladybugfan2020: rude™

mari: Were his best friends???? 

chlo: pff
you’re more than just his friends 

ladybugfan2020: ????

chlo: nothing
anyway you people are boring god
did you do nothing while i was gone??
how does he suffer being in your presence 

nino: has anyone ever told you youre kinda rude and obnoxious

chlo: yeah you
multiple times 

nino: cool imma do it again

chlo: where’s the middle finger emoji 

nino: :P

mari: I cant believe you came back  

chlo: yeah neither can i
guess you’re less boring and annoying than doing nothing

PM between chlo and ladybugfan2020

ladybugfan2020: can i ask y u hate mari 

chlo: i don’t hate her


chlo: it’s a long story

ladybugfan2020: well shes my best friend and ur kind of a dick to her

chlo: yeah well i’m not a nice person

ladybugfan2020: have u ever considered trying to b a nicer person

chlo: fuck off
adrien agreste is my best friend
what the hell do you think 

ladybugfan2020: try harder

in who was adrien agrestes first kiss??? find out more at 6 

mari: Has Adrien seriously been working this whole time???

chlo: not constantly but he hasn’t had much downtime
when he’s not getting pictures taken of him they’re having him do other stuff
probably cause he’s the boss’ kid but i don’t know
i just pose and look pretty 

nino: use no brain power like usual

chlo: haha very funny

ladybug2020: do u think hes gonna read through all these messages???

mari: Depends on if hes tired or not

ladybug2020: mk
hey sunshine
if ur reading this
thats all 

chlo: ugh they need me

mari: I mean you are like

chlo: whatever
we’re almost done so adrien will probably be on next
bye losers

nino: bye ex wife



chlo: Ok I see that something happened
Oh my username has changed
Well ok that explains almost everything

chlo has changed their nickname to adrien 

adrien: I had to turn autocaps back on

nino: dude thats lame

adrien: I’m a lame person
Also to answer the chat name’s question

ladybugfan2020: ????????
when did this happen?????? 

adrien: A few months ago?

nino: sounds about right 

adrien: I had to do a photoshoot that was going to involve kissing a girl and I didn’t want my first kiss to be work related
I was talking about it to Nino and he was like “the answer is to have your first kiss before the photoshoot”  

mari: And so the next logical step was to kiss NIno

adrien: …yeah sort of

nino: fun fact adrien is a great kisser
@alya cause mari already knows 

mari: Please stop talking to me oh my god

ladybugfan2020: i feel like im missing out
how do i get adrien agreste to kiss me
how did u do it mari?
it was an accident right??? just like…fall asleep on his face?  

mari: I’m leaving goodbye I hate you all

ladybugfan2020: </3

Chapter Text


nino: im pretty sure chat noir was just flirting with me

ladybugfan2020: get it boy
would u break up with me for chat?

yeah probably

ladybugfan2020: cool same

nino: im glad were on the same page



mari: Im gonna go murder myself in a bowl of whipped cream.

nino: how

ladybugfan2020: are u gonna drown in whipped cream
because that would be the best death tbh

nino: i dont think its murder if you kill yourself

ladybugfan2020: i would get a sibling to do it

mari: Bad news alya

ladybugfan2020: or like……………….a hitman
hire a hitman to kill you with a bowl of whipped cream

nino: yo since youre dead you dont have to pay them

mari: I dont think thats how that works

adrien: What did I just walk into??


ladybugfan2020: how would u kno how it works mari?

mari: Hey adrien
Just murdering myself with a bowl of whipped cream

adrien: Not possible

ladybugfan2020: um??? says who

adrien: Prove to me you can die by whipped cream
Draw me a diagram

nino: if i had to choose a topping to die by id choose hot fudge probably

mari: Ooo

adrien: If you got a tub of whipped cream
And like
Just hit a person with it
With like…the tub
That might
Kill you
I guess?

nino: bruh

ladybugfan2020: but wouldnt u rather choke on whipped cream

adrien: That’s harder?
Like you’d have to get it into their mouth

mari: If anyone says anything about kinks I will leave this groupcaht and terminate all friendships

nino: fucking chri st

alya: IM

adrien: Wait wait
Ignore mari and her gutter mind

mari: HEY

adrien: Tell me
How to kill a person with whipped cream

nino: why? you got someone you want dead? there are easier ways my dude

adrien: Indulge me

ladybugfan2020: k heres the plan
u knock them out with the tub of whipped cream
theyr not dead but theyr momentarily unconscious
then u stuff a bunch of whipped cream in their mouth and up their nose
and when they regain consciousness they choke on the whipped cream and die

adrien: Ok
Ok so
You take the can
And beat them over the head
Until unconscious

ladybugfan2020: yes

adrien: BUT
You fill their nostrils

nino: apparently

adrien: With whipped cream
And their mouths

ladybugfan2020: uh huh

adrien: Let it dry
Until they slowly

ladybufan2020: dry??????????

adrien: Just suffocate

nino: no no put them in a freezer
let the cream freeze

mari: This is not where I was expecting this conversation to go
Wait what????

ladybug2020: no u wait until they regain consciousness
does whipped cream dry
@mari do u have whipped cream we can test stuff with

mari: Why go through all this trouble when you can just snap someones necK?

nino: put them in th e freezer so the whipped cream freezes and retains its shape

ladybugfan2020: because death by whipped cream is the best way to go

nino: itd be like shoving a throat shaped mold down their throat and they cant breath e around it and they die

ladybugfan2020: y would u do that

adrien: No man

mari: W hat the fukc

adrien: You’d have to like

nino: ok look
you cant breathe around a block of cream in your mouth
and nostrils
eventually youll pass out from lack of oxygen

ladybugfan2020: ye thats teh point of putting whipped cream in their mouths

mari: But then is it death by whipped cream or just suffocation

adrien: No that’s my point

nino: so freezing it would work the best

adrien: ….

ladybugfan2020: the WHIPPED CREAM is doing the suffocation

adrien: It IS death

ladybugfan2020: so it IS death by whipped cream

adrien: It’s death by whipped cream
The whipped cream
Caused it

nino: yes

ladybugfan2020: ok but y does that working best matter
either way

mari: Mmmm now Im thinking about death by chocolate

ladybugfan2020: they die
and its death by whipped cream

adrien: Death by chocolate is more complicated

nino: if you take melted chocolate and insert it into your veins

adrien: You can’t beat someone with a Hershey’s bar

ladybug2020: putting them in the freezer would just be extra
@ the freezing the whipped cream

nino: you can poison yourself

adrien: I don’t know
I think chocolate is too thick for that

ladybugfan2020: about the beating
what about this giant ass ones u can buy online for lots of money i dont have
adrien might have to provide the murder weapon for this one

mari: I meant death by chocolate cakes adn stuff but ok
Good job team

adrien: Oh

nino: the meter and a half chocolate bar al?

adrien: Just buy like… 10000 chocolate cakes

ladybugfan2020: hell yeah nino

nino: i mean… you can shove cake up their nose?  

adrien: Get a pick up truck

mari: Where the actual fuck is this going

adrien: And then just
All at once

ladybug2020: nah nah you could do it the same way as the whipped cream

adrien: Drop the cakes on the person
All at once

nino: run them over

adrien: Until they die
That’s not death by chocolate cake
That’s death by getting hit with a truck

mari: Alya whatare you even talkling about

ladybufan2020: u put the cake in their mouth after u knock them cold

adrien: Alya what the hell

nino: put cake over their eyes

adrien: Stop knocking them out!

mari: Why is cake on eyes????

nino: so they can pay the boat man
and cross the river styx

mari: Youre spending too much time with Adrien

nino: or just throw them in the freezer

mari: Can we not just eat dessert?????

ladybugfan2020: do u kno how hard it is to put a body in a freezer

nino: not that hard

mari: How the fuck do you know??????

nino: alyas little sisters locked me in a freezer once when i brought them to her moms work
it sucked man

ladybug2020: boy that was a body sized freezer

adrien: It’ll be like that scene in Tangled

mari: jfc

ladybugfan2020: u gotta have the strength to lift like,,, a pERSON

adrien: Where Rapunzel tries to put Flynn in the dresser

mari: All my friends are serial killers

ladybufan2020: thats hard bruh

nino: not if you put your back into it
fireman carry

adrien: Ok question
What do you do AFTER you put it in the freezer?
At least if you chop a body up

nino: whoa there sweeney todd

adrien: You just drain the blood

ladybugfan2020: too messy

adrien: Fill a bag with spices
Put the parts in
And just throw it out

nino: just roast it though???? dude, embrace the sweeney

ladybugfan2020: no but thats not death by whatever sweet you wanna kill them with
thats just killing them

nino: like if i throw it in a fire, itll smell like shit, but you can pass it off as burning trash or something

adrien: Where would you even do that?
That’s so conspicuous

nino: first of all sweeney todd did it in londo n
second like...farmland?

adrien: Yeah Sweeney Todd isn’t real though

ladybug2020: ah yes the farmland in paris

nino: well drive out to the farm with the body

adrien: Who are you going to blame it on when they find a burned body???

nino: theres no one around
its farmland
theres like
2 people
they wont find a burned body

adrien: The suspect list can fit on a post it note
Do you know how they identify burned bodies?
We’ve watched detective shows together, right?
I didn’t hallucinate that???

mari: Didnt this start with me saying I was gonna murder myself in a bowl of whipped cream

adrien: Dental records Nino

nino: just do it at a vacant farm dude

adrien: You’d have to like
Pull the teeth out
THEN brun them
Messy but the job gets done

mari: I needed to know like -2 things I learned tonight
This morngn

nino: messy????

mari: This conversation is over 10 minutes long and thats about 9 minutes too long

adrien: And honestly? If you’re going through this? Just dissolve the flesh

ladybugfan2020: gross

nino: ohhh acid bath

adrien: Well you decided to murder someone Al
It’s going to be gross

ladybugfan2020: where do u get acid tho
cause thats a lot of acid

adrien: I’m sure you could find it somewhere

mari: Ok Im ending this conversation befor esomeone googles something they regret

ladybugfan2020:  call up lb and cn we now have a solid plan for defeatin g hawk moth
just beat him up with whipped cream

mari: Im going to bed I hate all of you

nino: night dude dont let the bedbugs bite

ladybugfan2020: or the murderers

mari: Fuck off



adrien: I’ve been watching so many cop shows
I could probably get away with murder

ladybugfan2020: HOW
to get away with murder
lmao im hilariou s

nino: yo consider this
going the fuck to sleep

adrien: One more episode

nino: im gonna show up at your house and force you to go to bed

adrien: What are you going to do cuddle me to sleep?

nino: yes

ladybugfan2020: hi get a room

adrien: </3



mari has renamed this conversation to “fuck you all”.

mari: I dreamed about murder and literally had blood all over me
I hat e you peopl e



nino: nice carrie style



adrien has renamed this conversation to “out damned spot”.




ladybugfan2020: what a nerd

Chapter Text


nino: yo check out how many flavors of fucking caprisun there is



ladybugfan2020: rip me apparently there was an akuma attack last night????? and i missed it???
oh it was on the other side of the city w/e then i got pics its chill
whats this link nino??
holy SHIT
i need 2 try alL OF THESE
tag yourself im……..
monster alarm
i am monster alarm

ladybugfan2020 has changed their nickname to monster alarm



nino has changed their nickname to mystic dragon

mystic dragon: what do you think mystic dragon tastes like

monster alarm: something fucking awesome

adrien: I have so many questions

mystic dragon: click the link my dude
join us in this knowledge

adrien: What the hell???
Who thought that the world needed THAT MANY flavors of Capri Sun???

monster alarm: me
this is amazing
im living
i love it
hey marsh
think u can pull some strings so we can get every single of caprisun ever

adrien: No offense but I don’t think my dad would be thrilled with buying
43 different flavors of Capri Sun

mystic dragon: did you just count those

monster alarm: MORE than 43 thats definitely MORE

adrien: Only 43 flavors are for sale! We don’t even live in the right country for some of these

monster alarm: come on rich boy!!!!!
also,, nickanme

adrien: Fine fine

adrien has changed their nickname to multivitamin

mystic dragon: boy

monster alarm: why do i like you

PM between multivitamin and marinette

multivitamin: Hey Mari
Guess what
If we were a Capri Sun flavored, we’d be power team


8:02 in out damned spot

mystic dragon: has anyone talked to mari today????

monster alarm: not me

multivitamin: Nope

mystic dragon: do you think shes awake?

monster alarm: uh oh

monster alarm has renamed this conversation to “orange wake up mari!!!”.

mystic dragon: oh yeah thatll DEFINITELY work al
good job

monster alarm: what am i supposed to do!!!!!!!!!!!!! i already tried calling she didnt pick up

multivitamin: I’ve got her

monster alarm: wait really??

multivitamin: Yeah sorry we might’ve called at the same time

monster alarm: cool
see u nerds at school

mystic dragon: i feel so loved


PM between multivitamin and marinette

multivitamin: Mari
Mari are you going to wake up
I know we had a really really late night last night I just want to make sure you get to school
I’m gonna show up on your balcony don’t freak out
I mean you aren’t going to see this if you’re asleep so you’ll probably freak out anyway
Ok I’m just going to apologize now
If you punt me to the other side of the country I totally understand


8:17 in orange wake up mari!!!


mystic dragon: mari!!!

monster alarm: soooo many things babe
get here so we can explain

multivitamin: Get here faster Mari, I think Alya is going to explode

marinette: Fuuuucccckkkkkkkkkkk
Allso I hate ALL OF YOU

monster alarm: i can fix this
change ur nickname to elfentrank fairy drink

marinette: excuse me??????

monster alarm: just do it!!!!!!!!!!

mystic dragon: bruh

marinette: FINE FINE!!

marinette has changed their nickname to elfentrank fairy drink

elfentrank fairy drink: Are you happy???/

monster alarm: i am DELIGHTED

mystic dragon: hell yeah girl

multivitamin: Did you all know this chat is exhausting

monster alarm: MARI GET TO CLASS

elfentrank fairy drink: IM GOING



elfentrank fairy drink: Ok
Why the fuck were you on the caprisun wiki page at 3 in the morning

mystic dragon: what else are you supposed to do at 3 in the monring?????

monster alarm: thats teh most valid point u could make

elfentrank fairy drink: Remind me how to leave this sky pe group
And this friendship

mystic dragon: wow

monster alarm: </3


PM between multivitamin and elfentrank fairy drink

elfentrank fairy drink: We are not calling ourselves power team

multivitamin: Dammit
You going to bed soon??

elfentrank fairy drink: It is??? Only 15:25??????

multivitamin: Yeah but you fell asleep during lunch

elfentrank fairy drink: Its fine its fine
Im getting used to the no sleep thing for sure
You got the same amount of sleep that I did!! Less!!!!!!

multivitamin: I took a nap after school before my shoot
It was great
It was on the floor

elfentrank fairy drink: Your life is a mess

multivitamin: So is yours bug
You were sleeping on your desk chair when I showed up this mornin g

elfentrank fairy drink: LiSTEN
We got back at lik e 4
I hate so many thing s
Hawk Moth is top of the list
Hes not the entier list because I also hate like
Homework and stuff
BUt hes at the TOP

multivitamin: Go to bed Mari

elfentrank fairy drink: Adrien I cannot explain to you hOW MUCH I HAV ET O DO

multivitamin: Well for one thing they aren’t real
And we are
And I feel like a lot of superheroes have problems balancing but Al knows more about superheroes than I do


multivitamin: Hannah Montana had lots of money and also? Wasn’t fighting evil

elfentrank fairy drink: You dont know that

multivitamin: Ok that’s true

elfentrank fairy drink: Im literally
Drowning in work
I cant sleep I willl neve r be able to sleep again
OH my go d

multivitamin: You ok buggy?

elfentrank fairy drink: No
I dont think so
Ahhhhhhhh help IM so tired and I have all this physics whcih what hte fuck and Im literally going to break hawk mtohs face?

multivitamin: That’s relatable

elfentrank fairy drink: You NEVER breakdown about this how is that fair??

multivitamin: I mean
I do
Like all the time

elfentrank fairy drink: ???
Why dont  you tell m e?

multivitamin: Because I don’t like bothering people with my problems
I have Plagg though and I’m used to dealing with things on my own

elfentrank fairy drink: Thats bullshit??? Im oyour friend and partner youre supposed to t ell m e this stuff

multivitamin: Ok
Ok I will
If you promise to go to sleep

elfentrank fairy drink: HA

multivitamin: I’m coming over
We can talk about emotions because sleep deprived and exhausted is the best time to do that
And we can nap
I’ll try to help with physics but no promises because I wasn’t payinga ttention today

elfentrank fairy drink: Pfff Ive never paid attention to anything ayn whreer
FUck typin g
But thanks

multivitamin: Of course <3 Be there soon

Chapter Text

3:21 in orange wake up mari!!!

multivitamin: Do you ever stare at the ceiling and think about the future
And realize you have literally just
No clue what you’re doing
And you don’t know if you’ll be happy
Or successful
And you’re just looking at the ceiling
And debating your entire life
And looking at all these choices you have to make and paths you have to choose
And what you HAVE chosen so far and how it’s shaped your life
And how everything could be different if you had just changed
That one thing
But you didn’t
And now you’re here
Staring at the ceiling



mystic dragon: one sec
i cant do this with this nicknam e

mystic dragon has changed their nickname to mental support

mental support: first things first
you ok? you dont sound ok

multivitamin has changed their nickname to existential crisis


existential crisis: I’m fine just
Feels weird

mental support: dude im sorry
i wish i could tell you that itll all be good but we both know thats a fucking lie
but man youve got so much going for you
youre talented as fuck
you come from an amazing family
youre an awesome person
youre super smart
its chill if you dont know what you wanna do right now
weve got time
and the past is the past
we cant change it (and yo if we could we really really shouldnt) so like…why get hung up on it
ok that was bad wording
its super easy to get hung up on it
especially when its ass oclock in the morning and your brain hates you  
just like
deep breaths man
youre gonna be ok
id hug you if i could but none of our parents would be chill with that

existential crisis: ……
Can we do a call

mental support: of course
you dont even have to ask
gimme a sec to grab headphones and turn on a light

existential crisis: Ok

PM between mental support and existential crisis

4:06: Call started

6:35 in orange wake up mari!!!

monster alarm has changed their name to love and support

love and support: in this chat we love and support adrien agreste
and each other

love and support has renamed this conversation to in this house we love and respect each other

love and support: brains suck and im sorry u feel like this marsh
least it decided to hit u w/ that on a weekend
r u feeling any better??

existential crisis: Yeah a little
I might go take a nap in a little bit

love and support: sleep is great
10/10 would recommend
its like practice for death

mental support: why are you up al?

love and support: sisters
they were moving around attempting to make toast or something an d knocke dover some pots
now we r all up
im trying to convince my mom to make pancakes

mental support: best of luck dude

love and support: ill send you them somehow if she does

PM between mental support and existential crisis

7:13: Call ended: 3 hours 5 minutes 42 seconds

existential crisis: Thank you

mental support: anything for you dude <3 love you. sleep well

existential crisis: I love you too


PM between existential crisis and elfentrank fairy drink

existential crisis: I wish we could tell them

8:36 in in this house we love and respect each other

elfentrank fairy drink: Does this mean  I need to change my nicknam e

love and support: yes

elfentrank fairy drink: Ok um
Hol d on a sec

love and support: take ur time babe

elfentrank fairy drink: Got it

elfentrank fairy drink has changed their nickname to snack support

love and support: amazing
im proud of u

snack support: I do have snack s
I need to go find breakfast brb


PM between existential crisis and snack support

snack support: I wish we could too
One day???

13:20 in in this house we love and respect each other

mental support: sup dudes
i just had the wildest dream
it involved clouds, adrien flying, and like
50 cats
brains are fucking weird

snack support: That is so many cats
Too many cats

love and support: no such thing

snack support: Youre a dog person???

love and support: and??
i want to die under a pile of animals that love me
soft and fluff

mental support: yo al did you ever get your pancakes

love and support: yessss
mom is The Best
the twins drowned theirs in choclate sauce

mental support: hell yeah
got any left over??

love and support: yup
want lunch?

mental support: *breakfast
just woke up
im supposed to clean the apartment today but my moms might not mind me leaving for a bit

love and support: nah i wanna get out of the house for a while
besides i wanna chill w my bf without the twins annoying me
@mari @adri u 2 want any?
i can swing by and/or pick u up on my way

mental support: i think hes still knocked out
hopefully he is anyway
he looked really tired last night
this morning
he better still be sleep

snack support: Im good al but thanks!
Spend some time with your bf without me in the way

mental support: yo wtf

love and support: u!! r not in the way!!!!!!

mental support: ^^^

snack support: Its fine really!!! Ive got a dress to work on today!!!!

mental support: youre sure?? youre not just giving us space??

snack support: Yeah Im positive
Ill send updates
The pattern is kicking my ass

love and support: kick its ass right back babe
ill hold your flower

mental support: have fun dude!!!

love and support: btw ill b over in like 20 nine cool???

mental support: not changing out of my pjs

love and support: thats a mood
see u then?

mental support: yup! <3


PM between existential crisis and snack support

snack support: Im on my way over
Dont freak out
Which…...wont be helpful if youre asleep



existential crisis: I know you’re probably still on the way home but
Thanks for coming over <3
And yeah
One day

Chapter Text

3:13 in i n this house we love and support each other

love and support: mari is so beautiful
im love her

snack support: Alya its too early for you to be this gay

love and support: its never too early for gay
also being overtired is gay culture

mental support: stop blowing up my phone

love and support: no!!!!!!!!!!!
im loving mari!!!!
join me

snack support: Pleae dont

mental support: oh shit
if were talking about loving mari thats totall y a different story

snack support: Why are you doing this ot m e

love and support: because w elove u!!!
ur so pretty

mental support: your eyes are so blue
like the sky

love and support: the ocean

mental support: ummmm a bluer ocean

love and support: windex

snack support: Ok htis is cancleld

love and support: ur cancelled

snack support: I though ty ou loved me

mental support: oh shit

love and support: fuck



existential crisis: Hey do you ever wonder why we all hate sleep

mental support: not sure but im super into the idea fo watching a movie right now
anyone wanna join

existential crisis: Always

love and support: HELL YES
i feel like mari passed out

mental support: good
one of us has to live

love and support: being sleep deprived is gay culture

mental support: is everything you do gay culture

love and support: yes

PM between existential crisis and snack support

existential crisis: Did I just see Ladybug???
Why are you out right now
Anything wrong???
Also let me teach you to how to put Skype on your yoyo its so much easier trust me
I hope you get some sleep buggy


6:43 in in this house we love and support each other

love and support has renamed this conversation to fucking clock hearts

love and support: i want to die
what was that ending

mental support: dude i need like a hug now i cant believe im crying over this

existential crisis: I can
You’re a crier

mental support: so are you

love and support: that was so weird why did we do that

mental support: because its almost 7 and none of us have slept

love and support: ok since mari is asleep we can talk about how much we love her again

existential crisis: Amazing
How do we do this

love and support: random thing you love about mari

mental support: her hair is like. really soft and silky
it also sorta changes color depending on the lightin g

existential crisis: I’ve never thought about that before but you’re righ t
What color is it actually??

love and support: mari is a brunette

mental support: no her hair is black

existential crisis: But in some light it’s like……not? It’s like…blue

mental support: blue??????

love and support: BLUENETTE

mental support: someone kick alya out

love and support: haha fuck you you cant kick me out im the one who made the chat



snack support: Why are you all lik e this


PM between existential crisis and snack support

snack support: I needed some air
I was getting restless
I know we had an akum alike three days ago but I dont know
Just really want to go ou t
You were all up really late being ridiculous I hope you sleep well kitty


11:45 in fucking clock hearts

love and support has changed their name to ebony dark’ness dementia raven way

existential crisis: Alya no

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: alya YES

mental support: thats a long ass name

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: its a tribute

mental support: t0 what

existential crisis: Oh my god

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: OH MY GOD

snack support: oh my god

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: DO U NOT KNOW MY IMMORTAL

existential crisis: This is incredible

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: HOW DO U NOT KNO IT

snack support: Nino wha t hav eyou done

existential crisis: I think I could literally quote it

mental support: quote what????

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: THE GREATEST FANFICTION EVER WRITTEN

mental support: oh nerd stuff

snack support: You dont understand

existential crisis: Wait hold on I can do this
I was walking outside Hogwarts
It was snowing and raining so there was no sun which I was very happy about
A lot of preps stared at me
I put up my middle finger at them

snack support: Why can you quot e so many thing s

existential crisis: I get bored


mental support: wait are you serious???

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: IM ALWAYS SERIOUS ABOUT MY IMMORTAL

snack support: I cant believe were doing thi s

existential crisis: Actually
My dad isn’t home right now
So we could just sit on my floor and eat cookies while Alya does a dramatic reading

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: hey this is a TEAM EFFORT
ur all getting parts

mental support: this is ridiculous

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: nino u don t get a role bc u gotta pay attentino
ovbiously IM ebony
ill split everyone else up between adrien adn mari
which one of u wants draco and who wants vampir e

mental support: did you say vampire

existential crisis: I might as well be Draco
Blond and rich

mental support: and a slytherin
i still stand by that

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: one fuck u adriens not  a slytherin
two adrien change ur name for aesthetic purposes

existential crisis has changed their name to draco malfoy

snack support: I cant believe this

snack support has changed their name to vampire

mental support: seriously who the fuck is vampire
and whos ebony
i thought this was harry potter

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: this is iconic thats what it is

vampire: When should we come over Adrien?

draco malfoy: Whenever you want? I’m just being lazy right now
Actually warn me I’m not wearing a binder because it’s a break day and I ha ve to put one on

mental support: nope nuh uh

draco malfoy: I’ll survive a few hours!!!

mental support: im gonna be over in ten ill bring that hoodie so big that we could literally both fit in it
if you wear anything more than a sports bra ill tell nathalie

draco malfoy: Oh god don’t do that

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: take care of urself marsh
thats v important to do while reading classic literature

vampire: Same as what Alay said but also Alya why

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: dont fight me on this u kno its a classic

mental support: 10 minute schill dude???

draco malfoy: Yeah that’s fine

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: im so excited
this is gonna be the best day ever

Chapter Text


mental support: a reminder that i hate all of you

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: u love u s

mental support: i can t believe you just made me listen to all of that
what the fuck

draco malfoy: Now You Know

mental support: i wish i didnt

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: its so good
so iconic
also the writer is now a fukcing awesome published author and mari and i r gonna read her books together
join us
we can b the nerds with a book club

mental support: i just spent several hours listening to you three do a dramatic reading of my immortal
i think weve gone past nerds with a book club

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: sounds fake

vampire: You cant say that wasnt a lot of fun though
I forgot how wil d that fic got

mental support: i need to process

draco malfoy: Have fun



draco malfoy: Reasons to quit modelling:
Early morning shoots

draco malfoy changed his name to asleep in makeup

asleep in makeup: I can’t wait to be done today



mental support: i am so sorry dude
fingers crossed that your dad stops sending you to them

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: ^^^

mental support: al babe
change your name

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: f i n e

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way has changed their name to aint no lie

aint no lie: baby bi bi bi

mental support: i dont know what i expected

aint no lie: pls choose a lyric and join me

mental support: youre ridiculous why do i love you

mental support has changed their name to fool for you

aint no lie: lmao sap

fool for you: true



vampire: Oh my god we have so man y orders to day
Wont be on Im dying
Im gonna dronw in frosting

vampire has changed their name to too many cookies

fool for you: uhhh no such thing
let me know when youre on your break
i wanna stop in and say hi
and also steal some baked goods
pull you away from baking for a bit

too many cookies: My knight in shining arm or  <3

fool for you: mostly hoping for cookies deemed unworthy to sell but yes
i can work with knight

too many cookies: At least youre honest


asleep in makeup: Get me out og hits hous e

aint no lie: omw
get ready to leave boy i was in the area on a walk

asleep in makeup: Thnak s



fool for you: let me know if i can do anything ok??
if you need to stay the night or something that super chill
my moms wont mind
besides they keep trying to invite you all to dinner

too many cookies: Same as what Nino said!!!
And also what!! I love your moms Id love to go to dinner??????

fool for you: yeah but theyre gonna tell embarrassing stories

too many cookies: You say that like I wasnt there for most of them

fool for you: yeah but adrie nand alya werent

too many cookies: Ok true true


19:11 in PM between too many cookies and alseep in makeup

asleep in makeup:

too many cookies: Why the fuck

asleep in makeup: I’m with Alya
We’re listening to 2000 hits from the US

too many cookies: Of course you are
Are you having fun
And feeling better??

asleep in makeup: Yeah
We’re cuddling and making fun of the music videos
Mostly the fashion
Also her mom brought home some food from the hotel so we don’t have to eat ramen which is both awesome and a disappointment

too many cookies: Mhm
How hard are you pining

asleep in makeup: Shut up

too many cookies: You love me

asleep in makeup: Unfortunately
Why are our friends just so
Sos I’m getting emotional about them Mari
I really love them what did we do

too many cookies: We have really great taste obviously

asleep in makeup: Man I have shitty luck

too many cookies: Or the best

asleep in makeup: That’s your department

too many cookies: True tru e
Are you going to survive??

asleep in makeup: Yeah
Cuddling with Alya is unfairly nice

too many cookies: Tell me about it
Anyway why this song

asleep in makeup: Because I love you and just wanted to remind you

too many cookies: This is the worst way to tell me that
But I love you too
I have to go help my mom with dinner but Ill talk to you later <3
Have fun
Dont die

asleep in makeup: No promises


20:02 in fucking clock hearts

aint no lie has renamed this conversation to tell your boyfriend if hes got beef

too many cookies: Wha t


fool for you: what the fuck

asleep in makeup: We’ve been watching music videos for like 3 hours

aint no lie: im liv in g

asleep in makeup: My dad would die if he saw any of the outfits people are wearing in these

aint no lie: american pop music from the 2000s is wild
join us

fool for you: i thik im good

asleep in makeup: Youre not

aint no lie: were not falling in love were just falling apart :/

too many cookies: Im too tired for fake deep al

aint no lie: rip im sorry babe

fool for you: can i break into the bakery and get a cookie
i need sugar

too many cookies: Cn I convince you to watch a show with me or something

fool for you: duh

too many cookies: !!!!!!!!!
Let me know when you get here Im just at the foot of the stairs braiding my hair
Ill let you in  



aint no lie: bo y
why are all of 3oh3s songs fucking icon ci

too many cookies: 3oh3 is that supposed to like
Mean somethin g

aint no lie: idk its just another word i never learned how to pronounce

too many cookies: RIp

fool for you: yo mari im here

too many cookies: !!!



aint no lie: a;lsdkfjasdf things i apparently need to do
add chloe on snapchat

fool for you: yo why

asleep in makeup: She just sent me a selfie of her wearing designer shades just to hide her face cause she took her makeup off

aint no lie: she is???? weirdly chill snapchattin g marhs

too many cookies: Whtf???

fool for you: what hell the fuck

asleep in makeup: That might have to do with us having been friends since we were like
In diapers
Chloe isn’t the best person but we still talk for a reason

aint no lie: fair

fool for you: i follow her on twitter for her rants
theyre ridic
they make my day

asleep in makeup: Oh uh Nino can I come over when you’re done at the bakery?

fool for you: yeah of course dude!!! that offers always there

aint no lie: >:(

too many cookies: I take it you two had this argument alread y

asleep in makeup: Yup
I feel bad invading Alya’s space for so long

aint no lie: youve been around all night before!!!!!
its not a big deal!!!!!!!!!!!
the party dont stop

fool for you: want me to steal some cookies from you

asleep in makeup: Stealing is bad

aint no lie: why are u leaving me!!!!!!!!!!!

too many cookies: Ill let Nino tak ethe cookies then its not stealing
Also cant you have this con vo irl??

asleep in makeup: Yeah but this is better

aint no lie: yeah also were comfy on the couch and itd be weird to yell at each other when were sitting like this


PM between asleep in makeup and too many cookies

too many cookies: Rip

asleep in makeup: Please don’t make this worse

too many cookies: Come on Romeo

asleep in makeup: That’s not my name

too many cookies: Fiiine
You ok?? I know youre going over Ninos
Hes getting ready to leave btw but he just mentioned that in the main chat

asleep in makeup: Yeah I just
Its been a really really messed up week

too many cookies: Fair enough
Let me know if you need anything ok???

asleep in makeup: Thanks <3
Going from Alya to Nino will be fun

too many cookies: Tonight your e fallign in love

asleep in makeup: Very funny
But let me know if you need anything too

too many cookies: I will <3 <3

in tell your boyfriend if hes got beef

fool for you: ok so
how many cookies is too many cookies

aint no lie: there is literally no such thing
weve talked about thi s

fool for you: i bet if you eat too many you could die

aint no lie: come on
let me shake up ur world
and change ur life
eat All The Cookies

fool for you: thats too many cookies

aint no lie: eat all the cookies an d die

fool for you: youre just jealous that adrien is coming over

aint no lie: please this isnt even jealousy

fool for you: bruh
oh btw im leaving in like 2 minutes
gonna steal you away from alya

aint no lie: n e v e r

asleep in makeup: Please save me she’s been playing the same song for like half an hour

aint no lie: listen hot stuff im in loe vwith this son g

fool for you: let the beat rock dude

asleep in makeup: Mari pl e a s e

aint no lie: i cant stop cause im haivng too much fun!!!!!!!



aint no lie: i cant believe ive been betrayed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fool for you: youre so dramatic

aint no lie: this is the worst thing to ever happen o t me

asleep in makeup: Its not enough to say that I miss you, is it

aint no lie: no
tell me what i wanna hear
and that is that ur coming bcak

asleep in makeup: Sorry Al

fool for you: yeah ive got a blanket fort set up still from last time so i win

aint no lie: shi t

too many cookies: Youre all ridiculou s
You need to come back down t o earht
Weve got bigger problems than this
Liek the fact that I canT FIND MY SCISSOR S

aint no lie: r i p

fool for you: theyre under your chaise

too many cookies: What

fool for you: check

too many cookies: …….
Holy s hi t

fool for you: magic

aint no lie: u might no t believe ur eyes
but ninos magic

asleep in makeup: I thought I got away from this

aint no lie: nope