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Moonlight Revelations

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They say opposites attract. How else, could two people so different in so many ways, yet so similar, ever end up together?

Javier trails his fingers lightly over the pale shoulder blades of the person he holds in his arms. He'd lost count how many times he'd mapped them out. 

He moves his feather light touch from the shoulders to trace each rib and then back up to the neckline.

In the moonlight Javier can now see a spray of freckles across the pale skin under his much darker fingertips. How has he just noticed now? He traces an invisible line, connecting each freckle with the tip of one of his fingers.

Javier's heart skips a beat as his eyes travel over every inch of exposed skin. This time he starts at the navel, his fingers ghosting up the toned stomach to the muscular chest. 

His fingers linger on a scar on the right shoulder, he traces it, his touch even lighter. Bullet hole. His fingers move next to the thick brown hair as he brushes back a few stray strands of hair from a pale forehead.

Javier takes in the smooth forehead and nearly flawless skin of the innocent looking face, a face that looks years younger during sleep. 

He ghosts over bright pink lips and soft cheeks. He moves his fingertips up to the eyes and drag them lightly over the eyelids.

He shuffles back and lays his head down, slipping his arm out gently and places a soft kiss before he stands back. "Goodbye, Kevin," he whispers, tears streaming down his cheeks. The paramedics lift Kevin's lifeless body onto the black bag that lays open on the stretcher and zip it closed.


Javier is numb. It's the night after the funeral and for the first time since he'd held Kevin in his arms and said goodbye he finally cries. He rocks himself back and forth on his couch, more than a few empty bottles surrounding him on the floor. 

He takes a deep breath and calms himself enough to begin writing, his hands shaking, the paper sprinkled with tears. He picks up the picture album besides him and tapes the letter on the very last and only empty page. He flicks through the pages, looking at each picture. Each picture of him and Kevin, Kevin and him, two halves of one whole. 

Javier lays back on the couch and lays the album open to his favorite picture of Kevin and holds it tightly to his chest. He brings his gun up to his temple, squeezes his eyes and says a prayer before he pulls the trigger and everything vanishes...


The next morning Beckett and Castle burst into Javier and Kevin's shared apartment to find an unwelcome, yet sadly unsurprising sight. Javier had quit the day of Kevin's funeral, and they'd both had the sinking feeling they'd never see him again. Kate picks up the album, closes it and they make the call. 


Later the night they'd laid Javier to rest next to Kevin, Kate and Rick are curled up in each other's arms on the bed, both still crying for their lost brothers. Kate pulls out the album and they flip through it, remembering.


They reach the last page and Kate reads the letter out loud: "Dear Kate and Rick,
I'm sorry that it ended like this. But it's killing me. The pain of losing Kevin, but also the guilt. It's my fault he's dead and I'm not just saying that. I made Lanie promise not to tell you, but the shot that killed him came from my gun. I killed him. I killed him. I can't go on living when I'm the one who took his life. We're two parts of a whole, I can't survive without my other half, I can't go on living without a heart. I'm truly sorry. Please, don't blame yourselves, there's nothing either of you could've done. Cherish each other and what you still have. Never take what you have or each other for granted. Love, Javier."