Work Header

The Mice Will Play

Work Text:

"I'll be fine."

"I don't have to go, I told them when I took the role that I wasn't leaving LA, not now. I can hold them to it--"

"Jeff." Jensen said, reaching out and finding Jeff's shoulders and squeezed. "You want this role. It's all you've been talking about for weeks. I'll be fine, really. I've got Andi to take me anywhere I need to go, and the studio has offered in the past to send a car." He smiled as he pulled Jeff closer. "I can do this. I need to do this, Jeff."

He heard Jeff take a deep breath and let it out noisily. "What about the dogs--"

"I know where the food is and it's my eyes that don't work, not my legs."

"You can't cook--"

"Take out." Jensen replied. "I got a whole list. And I think Mama Carlson has offered to feed me at least once." He gave Jeff a quick kiss. "It's just a weekend. I'll call, text and generally harass you until it'll be like you never left."

"I just--" Jensen cut Jeff off before he could finish.

"I know."

* * *

Jensen grumbled as he half heard Jeff get up. Jeff's flight was at too fucking early o'clock, but he was getting a studio car to pick him up. He was about to start to move when Jeff's hand landed on his shoulder, and there was a kiss to the back of his neck. "Sleep. I'll make coffee before I go."

Jensen felt the bed dip, but it wasn't heavy enough to be Jeff, so he figured it was Bandit and dozed back off.

He woke again as he felt a kiss brush against his temple. Jensen fumbled for the alarm clock. "Just getting ready to go," Jeff told him quietly. "You don't have to get up yet."

"Time'zit?" he mumbled, giving up finding the alarm clock. He latched onto Jeff's wrist instead and pulled.

Jeff chuckled and sat down on the bed's edge, giving Jensen a light kiss. "Just after five. You sure you're gonna be ok while I'm gone?"

Jensen yawned, and nodded. "Peachy. Work, take out, Kane concert, won't even know you're gone."

Jensen heard Jeff chuckle, "As long as I won't be missed."

Jensen dragged him down, kissing him. "Didn't say you wouldn’t be missed."

Jeff kissed him one last time before pulling away, "I'll text when I get there."

"Better, can't have text sex otherwise," Jensen grumbled, already sliding back to sleep as Jeff got up off the bed.

* * *

Jensen slapped the alarm clock and swore when he heard the time. "Fuck fuck, fuck," he growled as he threw the covers back and hopped out of bed. He was late, he wasn't going to have enough time for a shower, maybe not even coffee. He tripped over a shoe and swore again as he managed to catch himself before he slammed into the dog. "Goddammit, Jeff!" he yelled. He heard the dogs shuffling, probably getting out of the room while the gettin’ was good.

He grabbed clean clothes and hoped Jeff remembered to put the clothes away in the order they’d agreed on. Otherwise he was going to look like he got changed in the dark, which while true, was not something he wanted to present to the world.

Jensen physically stopped when he hit the kitchen, socks still in one hand. The kitchen hadn’t been a good place for him before he lost his sight and it was the one place that Jeff honestly feared him going. Jensen thought that if Jeff had his way, there’d be a door with a padlock to keep him out. Jensen reached out and placed the socks on the breakfast bar. He remembered something about Jeff making coffee before he left. Jensen hoped the pot hadn’t switched itself off, and that Jeff put out his travel mug.

Moving to the coffee pot, Jensen smiled as he felt the travel mug right next to the pot, which was still warm. “Thank god, for small favors,” he mumbled, hooking his finger over the top of the mug as he poured the coffee into it. When the hot liquid gold hit his finger, he stopped pouring and sucked the few drops off his finger. He took a gulp of coffee, and then another, figuring he could get Andi to top off his mug before they left. He let out a sigh, and grabbed his phone to text Jeff.

“Siri, text Jeff Morgan,” he said, tapping at the bluetooth headpiece. He'd found out the hard way to always use the full name. Jeff Padalecki had not been amused by his misdirected text.

“You have one unread text message. Would you like to read it first?”

Jensen grinned, Jeff must have gotten in. “Sure, show message.”

“You have one message from Andi Pee Aie.” Jensen frowned, when the hell did Andi text him. If he was that late, she’d have honked and then rang the doorbell. Or called. “Jensen, not feeling well, can’t pick you up. Will be there by U ARE final call. Sorry.”

Jensen stared at the phone for a few seconds. “You are fucking shitting me.” His fucking PA had left him a text message. She fucking texted her blind employer to tell him she wasn’t coming to do the one thing he couldn’t fucking do for himself. A fucking text message to say she wasn't coming and there were no backup plans. "Siri, when did the message come in?"

"Message received at 8:25 A M." Jensen glared at his phone. He knew what happened, she woke up late and texted him so he wouldn’t yell at her. Which was fine to know, but didn't fucking help him now. He had to be at the studio by nine. He was going to be late. He could either call a cab and deal with a possible asshole or he could suck up his pride and call the studio.

"Siri, call DC Studios."

* * *

Jensen rubbed his head. He felt like he was in that Grover book his nephews loved. When the car had arrived, he'd been so rushed he forgot to put the top on his mug and dumped it all over himself. While he'd grabbed his messenger bag, his wallet was somewhere else probably cavorting with his braille reader. He was fucking glad he'd treated this like any other acting gig and memorized his lines. It was still slow going; he was dragging production down.


Jensen didn’t looked up as his noise picked up the smell of coffee. Someone had gotten him coffee. "Thanks," he mumbled, not really wanting to deal with anyone right now.

"Straight black, right?"

Jensen nodded, “Yeah.” Crispin, his brain supplied. His character’s brand new partner in crime, literally. “Thanks,” he repeated louder, his momma’s manners kicking in.

He heard Crispin sit and bit back a sigh. He really wasn’t in the mood for company but he also wasn’t about to piss off a cast member of the show. Not when he was currently just an arc. “You’re really impressive,” Crispin said out of the blue. “I mean it, most film actors come in, look down at the rest of us and are shit. You’re good.”

“Not today,” Jensen grumbled, taking a sip of the coffee and feeling his gut relax. He hadn’t wanted to hold up production anymore than he already had by being late.

“No,” Crispin agreed, “today’s not your best day. Hard night?”

Jensen snorted into his coffee. “I wish. Nah, just a bad morning.”

“I heard that they’re working on a backup plan for you. In case of more bad mornings.”

Jensen swallowed hard. He wasn’t surprise to hear this, he knew he’d epically screwed up today. It was even more galling after all the shit that DC had done for him. Emailing him the scripts, sending the car. He wasn’t stupid, he knew no one else got the favors he did. He just wished they’d give him a warning, let him correct his mistakes before firing him. Or maybe this was the warning, from Crispin, who was a series regular and had been in the business for a long while. “Thanks, can’t say I blame them.” he croaked out again.

Jensen heard the sympathy in Crispin’s voice as he replied, “They’re just protecting their investment.”

* * *

Not fucking again. How fucking hard is it to get in the fucking car and pick me up? Jensen silently fumed. He flicked his phone again, and it duly told him what he already knew. That Andi was officially forty-five minutes late with no call or even a fucking text to tell him when she was showing up. Jensen growled. There was absolutely nothing she could say at this point that would involve her saving her job. He amused himself for a minute by thinking of all the ways he was going to tell her she was fired. Just as soon as he saw her. He amended his plans slightly, if she showed up in the next few minutes he’d take the ride home and then fire her. He wasn’t quite pissed off enough to ignore all reason.

“Jensen, have any plans for the weekend?”

Jensen turned toward the voice of Bruce Wayne. “Right now, firing my PA.” He snorted, “Just for shits and giggles, there’s not a car idling right in front of me, is there?”

He heard Bruce laugh, “No, sorry. Just you and me. Need a ride?”

Jensen’s first instinct was to say no, he didn’t want to be a bother any more than he’d already been to everyone, but he honestly he didn’t have a lot of options and he wasn’t about to impose on the studio again. “As long as it’s not out of your way?”

“Not at all.”

Ten minutes later they were cruising through Friday evening LA traffic. “Jeff on a shoot? He usually picks you up.” Bruce asked.

Jensen nodded, “yeah, out of town for the weekend. Shouldn’t have been a big deal but...”

“Best laid plans,” Bruce finished.

Jensen nodded, “It’s not all bad. With Jeff out, it means I can have all the crappy take out that Jeff absolutely hates. I’ve got a list.”

Bruce chuckled again, and Jensen found himself relaxing with the older man. “What about you? Grand plans for the weekend?”

“We’re thinking of taking the kids to Disney, and I’m sure I’ll be working around the house.”

“Honey do list,” Jensen said, with a grin. Before Bruce could answer, Jensen’s phone alerted him to a text message.

“Go ahead,” Bruce said, when Jensen hesitated.

Jensen clicked his bluetooth, reminding himself it was better to look like a douche than it was to have everyone listening to his text messages. Especially the ones from Jeff that were, well, private.

“One message from Jeff Morgan,” Siri informed him. “Just checking in. Didn’t hear from U all day. Call me ell-eight-are.”

Jensen bit back a groan. He’d meant to text when he got to the studio but when the day had gone to shit, he’d completely forgotten.

“Everything ok?” Bruce asked.

Jensen nodded, “Yeah, just Jeff checking in. He worries like a Jewish mother.”

* * *

“Thanks, man. Keep the change,” Jensen said, taking the bag of Thai food from the delivery guy.

“You have a good night,” the kid replied.

Jensen shut the door and wandered back toward the living room. His beer was sweating on its coaster as he opened the food. “Yeah... that’s right.” He moaned, as he took the first bite of the pad see ew. “Come to daddy.”

His phone jingled, letting him know he had a new text message. “Siri, read message.” Jensen said, not bothering to grab his bluetooth or braille reader.

“One message from Jeff Morgan,” Siri replied, “Call me.”

Jensen frowned and reached over to pick up the phone. “Siri, call Jeff Morgan.”

As Siri dialed, Jensen took another bite of his food. He swallowed when he heard Jeff’s voice growl out a hello. “You’re in a good mood,” Jensen said leaning back on the couch and taking a sip of his beer.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jensen! What the fuck is wrong with you? I’ve been going out of my mind worrying. What the fuck happened?”

Jensen frowned, “You need to calm down. I’m fine, just had a fucking shitty day and you’re not helping.”

“I’m not-- Jensen I thought something had happened to you. Jesus, the things that were going through my head...”

“I’m fine,” Jensen reiterated. “It was a shitty day and frankly,” he paused and took a breath, “I figured if I told you about it, this would be your reaction.”

There was silence on the other end and Jensen waited. Jeff had been nothing but awesome, but then there were times, like now, when he just went off. He could imagine Jeff pacing, running a hand through his hair as he tried to calm down. “I’m fine,” Jensen repeated for the third time. “the dogs are fine; we’re all good here.”

“What happened?” Jensen could hear the change in Jeff’s tone. It wasn’t there yet, Jeff was still waiting to ride to his rescue, but it was better. Jensen weighed what he wanted to tell Jeff, what would send Jeff running to his rescue, and what would calm him down so they could maybe get to more pleasurable subjects.

“I fired Andi.” Jensen said, grabbing his food. “After she didn’t show to pick me up and then again to bring me home, I think she might have actually fired herself.” He heard Jeff take a breath and he continued, “I handled it, but it means my plans for the weekend have drastically reduced.” He took a bite and bit back a moan. “Seriously man, other than I’m going to have to bribe Dani to take me to Kane’s gig tomorrow, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Jeff let out a breath and Jensen could tell he was almost there. The tension was draining out of Jeff and he was probably sitting back down in an armchair. There was a somewhat forced chuckle and then, “are you eating Thai from that disgusting restaurant?” Jensen smiled at the obvious change of subject. He’d tell Jeff about all the rest of it when he got back.

“Not disgusting, s’awesome!” Jensen said around another mouthful. “You just have no taste.”

That got Jensen another chuckle, this one less forced, “one of us has taste, I’m not sure it’s you.”

“I’m with you, aren’t I?” Jensen retorted with a grin. “Automatically make me the one with taste.”

"That so," Jeff purred in Jensen's ear and Jensen swallowed down the bite of food he had. "What else does it make you?"

Jensen licked his lips and put the food back on the table, making sure it was out of the line of any type of fire. "Yours," he breathed.

"S'right, sweetheart. You are." Jeff purred again. "Missed you today."

"Missed you too," Jensen replied, licking his lips again. "Wanted you to make me feel better when I got home."

"Yeah? How did you want me to do that, sweetheart?" Jeff asked.

Jensen settled deeper into the couch, his legs falling open as he got comfortable. "Was hoping for a little TLC. You know, strip me down and show me how awesome I am."

"You feeling unloved, babe? Need me to get on my knees and worship you?"

"Yeah," Jensen breathed, his jeans getting tight as he palmed his dick. "That's exactly what I was hoping for. You on your knees, hands on my hips. I'd be standing in front of you, naked as a jaybird--"

"Your hands would be in my hair, guiding me where you wanted me to go, showing me exactly how you want me."

Jensen unsnapped his jeans. "Yeah, your mouth would feel so good on my cock. Just the right amount of suction. You'd be playing with my balls, rolling them in your hands. Feel so good when you do that."

"Tell me what else you like, Jens."

Jensen groaned as he freed his cock from his pants. "Love holding onto your hair, showing you where I want your mouth. Fucking your mouth, you taking all of it. Want to watch you swallow around my dick, fucking love the feeling of it."

"Mmm... like the sound of that. My other hand going to massage your prostate. Get those sparks flying behind your eyes. Light you up like a firecracker."

Jensen slid his hand over his cock, thumbing the tip to use the precum to slick it. "Fuck, yeah...." he breathed out, swallowing hard.

"You'd be trying so hard to keep control, make it last. I fucking love seeing that control shatter." Jeff's voice hitched and Jensen could easily picture him, fisting his cock, getting close.

"Yo-you'd swallow me down, fuck, pressing just right and I'd cum down your throat. You'd fucking swallow it all and then... jesus it'd feel so good. Make my toes curl." Jensen's back arched as he imagined it, Jeff on his knees. "You'd lay me out on the couch, pull out your cock from your pants. You'd fist it, wouldn't fucking take much. God, you'd cum all over me. Show me, I'm all yours."

"Fuck, Jens." Jeff breathed out. "Fuck, Jesus... yeah. Yeah..." Jeff's breath stuttered and Jensen imagined him coming over his fingers. Jensen grunted as his hand tightened around his cock as his own orgasm hit. Jensen let himself breath into the phone as he wiped his hand on his jeans and tucked himself back into his pants.

"Still there, Jeff?" Jensen asked after a few minutes of breathing on the phone.

"Yeah... just wondering how I'm going to explain this to wardrobe."

Jensen snorted, and went to grab his food. He took a quick sniff to make sure it hadn't been fouled, and took a bite. "You jacked off in costume? Do you want to be wearing lederhosen for the rest of the week?" Jensen shook his head as he took a bite of the food, remembering the time he'd ruined Dean's jeans and the retaliation that had ensued. He learned his lesson. All sex in the trailer was done after he'd returned everything to wardrobe.

"I'm lucky I got back to my trailer before I whipped it out in public. Was between scenes."

Jensen choked on his food. "That... um..."

Jeff laughed and Jensen could picture him doubling over with laughter with that devilish smirk on his face. He wondered if Jeff was laying on the bed with his cock out, and his dick gave an interested twitch. "Done for the night, Jens. Jesus, I can be professional sometimes." Jensen knew that Jeff was professional the entire time on set. While he'd goof off with them, when they'd done a scene it'd been nothing but business.

"Yeah," Jensen said around another bite. "Other than me giving you a mini heart attack, which is your own fucking fault for not trusting me, how was the shoot?"

Jensen settled back, letting Jeff talk about the set, his castmates and the job.

* * *

Jensen let out a long breath as he finished tying his running shoes. The plan had been to take Bandit over to Wilacre Park for a good long run. Bisou was pretty content with the backyard these days, but Jensen could hear Bandit getting antsy. He needed to run, get out all that energy or he’d get destructive. Jensen could relate. He’d done the loop a few times with Jeff, and had a good feel for the lay of the land. He’d been reasonably confident that he could do that loop on his own. Unfortunately, that plan had hinged on having Andi around to drive him. With Andi out of the picture, Jensen was going to have figure something else out.

He scrubbed a hand over his face and dialed a number. “Hey Jensen. How’d you know I was on a break?” Danneel asked.

“Magic powers,” Jensen drawled, though he cringed. He’d forgotten that Dani was working on a new movie. “I was calling to ask a favor, but I think I already know the answer.”

“Yeah? Lemme guess, you’re desperate for my hot bod and hoping I’d be available for hot kinky sex?” Danneel asked with a laugh.

“Oh yeah, baby. That’s totally it,” Jensen snarked back, a smile gracing his features. “The fact that I like dick means nothing compared to you.”

That got him a full blown laugh. “Now that we’ve made that clear, what do you really want, Jensen?”

Jensen leaned back into the couch. “Jeff’s out of town and Andi fired herself yesterday. I was hoping you’d be up for a run with me and Bandit.”

There was another chuckle and Jensen could easily imagine the smirk on her lips. “You mean you want a ride to wherever you were planning on running and you’d be willing to allow me the pleasure of your company as payment.”

“No,” Jensen said, defensively. That hadn’t been the whole plan. He’d been thinking of offering coffee afterwards. His treat.

“Uh huh,” She drawled and now Jensen could well imagine the eyebrow raised at him. Woman always did have a way of deducing his plans and pointing out all the flaws. “Unfortunately, I can’t. I’m working late tonight. Probably won’t make it to the Kane gig either, in case that was your other favor.”

Jensen swore. “Shit. Maybe I can get Christian to drive.”

“You better catch him before sound check then. You know he’s playing with Brian Nutter tonight and not Steve?” Danneel replied, sounding genuinely sorry.

Jensen frowned, he hadn’t known that. He’d assumed it was a typical Kane concert. “Fuck, no I didn’t.” He rubbed his head. This was turning into a nightmare. It was like being fifteen all over again, only no parents or older brother to drive him. “Shit.”

“If I get done early, I’ll give you a call.” Dani said. “I’m dying to see how this whole thing goes with Kane and this Brian guy. Christian’s manager, Eric, set it up, and Steve’s... being Steve about the whole thing.”

Jensen rubbed his forehead. “Where is Steve?”

There was a laugh, “Steve’s in Europe. How did you miss all this, Jensen? It’s a huge clusterfuck and I’ve been hearing nothing but bitching from Steve all week.”

“Everything ok?” Jensen asked. He’d thought that Steve and Christian had finally come to some sort of understanding. Not that he completely understood that entire relationship, but he’d gotten the feeling they’d settled down.

“Oh sure. Steve just got double booked and forgot until after everything had been finalized. Eric scrambled and found Brian. This Brian couldn’t be trying harder to suck Kane’s cock and Eric's not above whoring out Christian to get Brian. Naturally, Steve’s being a jealous, obsessive freak.” Danneel informed him. How did she know all this shit? He shook his head. She always knew everything. Jensen chalked it up to her being female; women always seemed to know everything. Which explained why he never knew anything, being with Jeff.

“Huh,” Jensen said, not sure what else to say. “If I get there, I’ll give you a full report.”

“You better.” She retorted. There was a sigh and then “I gotta get back.”

Jensen bit back a sigh, “I know. Knock’em dead.” The phone disconnected and Jensen rubbed his forehead again. He noisily blew out a breath and felt Bandit lean against his leg. “Now what’re we gonna do?” he asked, scratching Bandit’s head.

He sat back and bit his lip before shaking his head, “This is bullshit! I know this fucking neighborhood, we can do this.” He scratched Bandit’s head, before getting up. “C’mon, let’s go for a run.”

It took him about twenty minutes to program a route into his phone, find his bluetooth headset and get ready. Clicking on Bandit’s leash, Jensen let out a breath. “Alright pal, just like we practiced, ok?”

As he got into a rhythm he felt his nerves settle. There was little traffic, the sun was shining, and Bandit hadn’t tried to kill him yet. Granted he wasn’t listening to any music, but that was fine. It was kinda nice to listen to the quiet of the neighborhood. He wondered why he hadn’t thought of this before.

BAM! His leg slammed into something, and down he went. “Motherfucker!” He yelled, wincing as he felt gravel digging into his palms. “Fucking hell, it’s fucking Saturday and the motherfucking Ryans haven’t taken in their goddamn motherfucking recycling bin. AGAIN! Jesus fuck, garbage day is fucking Tuesday!” Jensen spat out, as he sat up. He massaged his right knee where he’d banged it on the sidewalk and kicked out with his left foot, connecting with the bin in question. He hoped the fucking thing ended up in the fucking street and someone hit the goddamn thing. At least then, maybe the fucking Ryans would remember to bring in their fucking bins.

Bandit came over, climbed on Jensen lap and licked at Jensen’s face, apparently worried Jensen had brained himself. Jensen chuckled tiredly as he tried to avoid the dog breath. “You’re not helping, pal.”

* * *

Jensen unlocked the door and let Bandit off his leash. Going into the kitchen he filled Bandit’s water bowl and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. He took a long pull from the bottle and grinned. The run had been pretty damn good. According to his phone, they’d done just under six miles in just over an hour. Now he desperately needed a shower and lunch. He'd gotten next week's script this morning and the weather was nice enough that Jensen was planning to go enjoy the hammock.

He shot off a quick text to Jeff, smirking as he mentioned himself, naked and showering, before going upstairs.

* * *

Jensen snorted and rubbed his face. House Rules was blaring next to his head, his lower half was heavy, fuzzy and warm, and his braille reader was digging into his side. He grunted, reaching up for the phone and down to see which of the dogs had apparently decided to join him. "'lo?" he asked, wondering what time it was and how long he'd napped.

"Jensen, where the fuck are you?"

Jensen rubbed his face again, trying to figure out where he was supposed to be when. "What time'zit?" he mumbled.

"Almost 8pm. Y'all were supposed to be here an hour ago! Where the fuck are the two of you?"

Jensen frowned, he'd taken a helluva nap. "At home. Me and Dani aren't making it tonight." he replied.

"What the fuck you mean, you ain't makin' it? You said you'd be here."

Jensen nodded and shifted himself back upright. "I know, but Andi fired herself and Dani's shoot's running long. I don't have a ride."

"Why the fuck didn't you say somethin'? I'da come got you. I can't now, because I'm goin' on in ten fuckin' minutes!”

Jensen winced and put the phone down next to him. Kane was gonna rant for a while and he had to get up and think about eating. He pushed at Bisou, who gave him a humph of displeasure before hopping down off the hammock. Jensen sat up and stretched, reaching out and snagging his braille reader. “You finished yelling at me yet?” Jensen asked, as he picked up the phone and wandered back into the house.

“Fuck no! Steve’s in fuckin' Europe; I’m playin' with Brian motherfuckin' Nutter, who is a fuckin' awesome guitarist but still ain’t Steve, and none of my fuckin' friends are here. How the fuck do you expect me to fuckin' not yell at you, you motherfuckin' asshole!”

“If I could fucking see, I’d be there. But I can’t, and last I checked driving while blind was still fucking illegal.” Jensen yelled back.

“Stupid fuckin' cocktease excuse and you fuckin' know it.” There was a pause and then Kane came back “I gotta fuckin' go! Have a great fuckin' night.”

There was a click and Jensen shook his head. He felt a pang of guilt, he’d told Christian and Jeff he was going to the concert. He wanted to go to the concert and if Andi hadn’t fucking fired herself, he’d be there. He didn’t like cabs; he sure as fuck wasn’t going to take a cab by himself. There was nothing he could do about it, period. Christian would survive, Steve would have to suck it up and deal. Pulling up his take out list, Jensen dialed the next selection.

* * *

Jensen glanced up from his spot on his knees. Jeff’s dark eyes were looking down at him, his beard having more salt than pepper these days. Jeff grinned down at him as he slowly undid his pants. Jensen licked his lips, his hands going to Jeff’s hips, his own erection leaking.

“Missed seeing your smile,” he whispered.

“That all you missed?” Jeff asked with a chuckle.

Jensen grinned, and licked the head of Jeff’s cock. “I don’t need my eyes for this,” he said, before taking Jeff’s cock in his mouth. He sucked it, Jeff’s hands coming to Jensen’s head, running his hands through his hair, fingers unable to snag on his hair. Jensen watched Jeff’s face, his dark brown eyes closing, his mouth opening and his head thrown back.

Jeff’s hands tightened on his head and Jensen could tell he was close. He blinked and suddenly he was on stage. He swallowed hard, Christian and Steve both barely giving him a look before continuing to play House Rules.

Jensen tried to pull back, suggesting that they take this somewhere more private, but Jeff wouldn’t release his head. Jensen mentally shrugged and focused only on Jeff’s face, ignoring the crowd, the lights, the fucking gogo dancers. He could get Jeff off and then he could get them somewhere else.

Jensen jerked as he woke up. Groaning, he turned over, getting a face full of Bandit. “Jeff’s going to love this side of you.” He mumbled as he shifted around the dog. House Rules was still blaring and he reached over and grabbed his phone.

“Please tell me someone’s dead,” He grumbled into the phone.

“Jen. Jenny! You gotta come get me.”

Jensen groaned. “Kane... what the fuck is going on?”

“I mighta got into a fight and need you to get me outta the tank.”

Jensen sighed, and sat up, dislodging Bandit in the process. “How’d you get into a fight?”

“Steve’s in motherfuckin' Europe.”

Jensen rubbed his forehead, wondering if that would make more sense if he had caffeine. Then again, asking Kane how he got into a fight was a stupid ass question to begin with. “Where are you?”

“Hollywood, bubba, Cindy’s still workin' the desk. You 'member her? Sweet as pie and damn hot man. She was all over you that night, you 'member?”

Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don’t get sexual harassment added, ok? I’ll be there as soon as I can find pants.”

He blamed the early hour and his dream for the fact that he didn’t realize it before he hung up. It was going to take him longer than finding his pants to get to Kane. He first had to find a driver.

* * *

“You fucking owe me, Ackles.” Danneel repeated for the third time.

“Take it up with Kane.” Jensen replied, “he’s the one that was arrested.”

“You’re the one needing the ride.” Danneel pointed out. “If you’d been at the gig, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Jensen snorted, “yeah, cuz I learned to bar fight from the other drunk cowboy with short man complex. The only thing that would have happened is I’d be in the drunk tank with him.”

There was silence for a minute and then Dani replied, “Why weren’t you at the gig?”

Jensen shook his head, not wanting to get into it with her. “Same reason you’re driving now.” he mumbled.

“I’ve heard of these things called cabs. They’re revolutionary, you know? You call them, and then they pick you up and take you where you want to go.” She paused for a minute and Jensen gave her the finger. “You’re right, it wouldn’t work for you, you’re too much of a tight ass with your money to ever willingly pay for someone to take you anywhere.”

“I’m not a cheapass.” Jensen retorted.

“Please.” Dani drawled, and Jensen could imagine her rolling her eyes, “You’ve argued over who had to pay the two dollar difference on a pizza. You’ve demanded I pay you back the fifty cents I owed. You are a total cheap ass bastard.”

He wasn't cheap; he was just precise and liked having all his debts paid. And not paying too much for something, and he didn't like to waste money on items he wasn't going to use, regardless of if it was only five dollars. Jensen sighed, she might have a point. "Abby gave me a list of cab companies that didn't fuck with the blind and I have a card but--" He grunted, he hated it when she pulled shit out of him. "I still can't know. So I don't like dealing with them."

"Because they might screw you?" At Jensen's nod, Dani was silent for a minute. "That actually makes sense and is not nearly as neurotically paranoid as most of your rants."

"Hey," Jensen growled. "I am not neurotically paranoid."

"It's cute that you think that," Dani replied, her voice dripping with sugar. Jensen glared at her. Before he could retort, Dani parked the car. "C'mon, five bucks the guy was 6'2" and looked at Kane funny."

"That’s a sucker bet,” Jensen replied with a grin. This, at least, was disturbingly familiar.

* * *

“Christian Kane, your bail’s been posted, you’re free to go.” The guard said.

Jensen rolled his eyes, as he followed Dani down the hall. He could hear a few catcalls and knew that Dani was rolling her eyes or flipping them off. Just like Kane, he wasn’t in the usual drunk tank, oh no, he’d managed to get himself arrested for assault. He was lucky he hadn’t been processed to the county jail. Jensen would have let him rot.

“Jenny! My boy! I knew you’d come through!” Christian yelled and then there was an arm around his shoulders, knocking him in Dani, who swore. “Thank you, darlin', for playing taxi.”

Dani snorted, “You owe me, Kane.”

Someone called out “Jensen.” Jensen stopped, he knew that voice. Why the fuck was Jared in jail? He started to turn, only to be stopped by Christian and Dani.

“Fuck you, you fuckin' Judas! He ain’t here for you!” Christian yelled.

“I’m not bailing you out again,” Jensen warned. Jared wasn’t prone to fights he couldn’t win, the first time in Vancouver aside. So how the fuck did he end up arrested?

“He’s right, Jens. Just ignore the fucker.” Dani added, tugging Jensen down the hallway, Christian on the other side. “Call your pregnant wife, Jared. Let her see what a prince she married.”

“Dani!” Jensen chastised. He tried to dig in his heels, but they dragged him out of the holding cells.

“Jensen wait!” Jared called after him.

* * *

“What the fuck is wrong with y'all?” Jensen demanded as they got into the car. “I’m not a fucking teenage girl that can’t see her crush.”

“I wanted to make sure he didn’t encourage you to bail him out,” Dani replied, starting the car. “He’s a loser, Jensen and you’re better off without him.”

“How the fuck did Jared even end up in jail?” Jensen demanded, deciding he wasn't going to touch Dani's statement.

“I imagine, same way I did. Considerin' he’s the fucking Judas I was fightin' with.” Christian answered.

“What?” Jensen spat out. Danneel muttered an “oh, christ.”

“Look, I was mindin' my own business, taking a piss and in walks that fucker. So here I am, my best friend bailed on me cuz you didn't have a motherfuckin' ride and that asshole has the nerve to start talkin' to me about the gig. About how much he liked it, like we were fuckin' friends.

"So, I had to teach that goddamn motherfucker some motherfuckin' manners. 'Bout how friends should act around each other." Christian's hand squeezed Jensen's shoulder, "How him and me ain't friends. I'm fuckin' loyal, Jens, you know that."

“I didn’t need you to defend my fucking honor,” Jensen spat out. “Jared’s not the only one that walked away, you gonna fight them all?”

“He's the only one that fuckin' sold you out. That flamin' douchenozzle happily threw you under the fuckin' bus."

"He was under contract..." Jensen defended. Jared had been under contract; he couldn't break it, not just because the CW had fired Jensen. Jared had a wife, and it was so easy to get blacklisted in this industry. Jeff had been blacklisted, for years for simply disagreeing with the way the show was going. Jared couldn't afford to be blacklisted for simply not wanting Jensen fired. He'd done the only thing he could at the time, Jared let it happen and made sure the show survived.

"Fuck that noise. You think this happened to Aldis or Tim and I wouldn't fuckin' tell Dean Devlin to shove his motherfuckin' show up his motherfuckin’ ass if he tried the same thing? That flamin' douchenozzle was a fuckin' pussy and he needed someone to tell him so. Boy's got a thick skull, I had to tell him a couple of times."

"Christ, I need a drink." Dani said, startling Jensen. "I just bailed someone out of jail because some asshole looked at him funny in the men’s room. I'm entirely too sober to deal with this shit."

Jensen barked out a laugh. When she put it that way... “Yeah, me too.”

“Y'all coming to my place. I owe all y'all one for picking up my drunk ass self.” Christian said. “I got plenty of alcohol, it’ll be a party.”

* * *

Jensen took his shot and followed it with a pull from his beer. He was starting to lose track of how many he'd had. "I don't understand. You and Steve live together, and you still fuck women?"

"Toldja, bubba, I'm straight." Christian replied, and Jensen heard him pour another shot. "I fuck women."

"And Steve." Dani added, leaning across Jensen to get her shot.

"Steve's different. He's the love of my life." Christian protested.

"But you fuck." Dani pressed.

"Yeah, but it ain't like that," Christian answered as if it was being dragged out of him.

"Then you're not straight," Jensen said, slowly. "You fuck guys."

"No, bubba. I'm straight." Christian disagreed. "I toldja, Steve's different."

"So, you're straight with a side of Steve?" Dani asked with a giggle. Jensen shook his head. That didn't make any sense.

"But that doesn't explain why you fuck women." Jensen said.

"Well, Jens, some men have these urges...." Christian drawled.

"Fuck you," Jensen snapped back, taking his shot.

"Bubba, I don't roll that way. Now, Dani onna other hand..."

"Not if you were the last man on Earth," Dani retorted. Jensen could well imagine the saccharine sweet smile on her face. She fell against him and threaded her arm through Jensen's. "Now, Jensen... him I'd be willing."

"I think I'm insulted." Christian retorted. Jensen heard the bottle slosh and figured his shot had been refilled.

“Me too!” Jensen said. "I think she only wants me cuz she knows she can't have me."

Dani laughed, her body shaking next to him. "You should be insulted but not by me."

Jensen frowned, "Whazzat mean?" He felt the tequila on the tip of his finger as he wrapped his hand around the shot glass. Yep, been refilled. He thought he should wait a minute before he had the next one.

"Drink up, son."

Jensen shrugged and downed the shot; cuz why the fuck not? Wasn't like he was going anywhere tonight. "Whadya mean I should be insulted? By who? And it better not be Jared, cuz I don't wanna talk about it." Jensen said.

There was more sloshing and the shot was put into his hand, “Drink up, son, you’re falling behind.”

Jensen shook his head; he was pretty sure he'd just done a shot and he wasn't behind. He was also pretty sure he officially lost the thread of this conversation, but a shot sounded like a great idea and there was one right in front of him with his name on it. “I still don’t understand how you’re with Steve and fucking other women.”

Dani pressed against him, “Jens... not everyone is a serial monogamist like you.”

“Dunno what there’s to fucking understand, bubba. Me and Steve... are me and Steve. Them girls, just sex. Nothin' more.” Christian grunted, and Jensen wondered what’d just happened. Being blind sometimes really sucked. “What the fuck was that for? Honey, you know it’s fuckin' true.”

“Wait what?” Jensen asked, “why would Dani be hitting you?” He frowned, shaking his head to clear it. He was obviously missing something here. Something... “Dani!” he screeched.

“Girl’s got needs, Jens,” Dani replied, a bit sulkily. Jensen pulled her against him again, and wrapped an arm around her.

“Yeah I know, but he’s with Christian.” Jensen said. “Plus, I thought you had better taste than that.”

“Just cuz he’s never tapped your ass, don’t mean you have to be insulting, Jens.” Dani retorted. “Why is that? How come Steve’s line in the sand is you?”

"Wait what?” Jensen asked, frowning. He downed another shot and coughed. “That wasn’t tequila.” he accused.

“Out, bubba. You got the next best thing.” Christian told him. There was shifting on the couch and then Christian was right next to him. “He does make it pretty damn clear that you’re someone he would never fuck.”

"He has fucked everyone else in our group," Dani added.

“Wait... what?” Jensen repeated. “Why... what... you guys talk about this?”

Dani chuckled, “have you never noticed how often it comes up at conventions? Steve’s very clear. You’re off the table; he thinks its gross.”

Jensen grunted. That just... not that he’d thought of Steve that way, he was with Christian, very very with Christian. And Jensen liked his balls where they were. Still, the thought he was... he fumbled his phone out of his pocket. “This is bullshit,” he grumbled. He could hear Dani and Christian laughing on either side of him as he tried to scroll through his contacts to find Steve’s number.

He hit dial and then waited for the call to go through, while Dani and Christian continued to bicker and jab at each other. He heard the line connect and said “Why won’t you fuck me?”

There was silence on the other end and then a “What the fuck? Babe, it’s 4am.”

Jensen nodded, he’d figured he’d woken up Steve. “And? Why won’t you fuck me?”

Again there was silence and then some rustling of sheets. Jensen licked his lips, thinking about this was making him horny. “Babe, I promise. When I get back tomorrow, I’ll fuck you through the mattress. As many times, as many ways you want. Right now, I gotta get back to sleep. Call’s already at too the fuck early o’clock, and we only finished a couple of hours ago.”

“Ok. G’night.” Jensen said, nodding to himself.

There was a chuckle and a soft goodbye and maybe a love you and then there was nothing. Steve had hung up. But that was ok, cuz he didn’t have to be insulted anymore. “He’s gonna fuck me tomorrow.” Jensen declared to the group.

“He’s what now?” Kane retorted, while Dani laughed so hard she fell off the couch.

* * *

Jensen grunted as he tried to figure out what exactly had hit him, backed up, and hit him a couple of more times before leaving him for dead. He grunted, trying to remember how exactly he'd gotten there. His brain stuttered and he decided to start with where there was. The sheets were clean, but weren't the same fabric. They were scratchier than the worn soft cotton on his bed. They didn't smell the same either, missing the combination of dog and Jeff. He was in his boxers, which considering he wasn't home, was a good thing.

There was movement next to him, and his hand tightened on a soft warm object. It felt kinda squishy, like a warm water balloon, only softer. There was a grumble next to his ear and then “Knock it off.”

Jensen froze, the feeling of ice running through him. That wasn’t Jeff’s voice and now that he was awake, that was definitely not Jeff’s body next to him. “Dani?” he squeeked. “Why are you in my bed?”

“Well, I sure as shit wasn’t going to sleep in Kane’s.” Dani replied, sourly.

Jensen swallowed hard and wondered if the tequila was going to come back for round two. “Why aren’t you wearing pants?” he demanded, grunting when his voice woke the miners in his brain. “or a bra.” He pulled his hands back and twisted onto his back, “and are you wearing my shirt?”

“Oh, unbunch your panties. Nothing happened,” Dani grumped. “Not only are you the gayest man I have *ever* met, but even drunk off your ass, you’re a serial monogamist.”

Jensen frowned, he vaguely remembered something last night, and he groaned again as it came back to him. He’d propositioned Steve. Who’d said yes. Jensen wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to show his face in Christian’s presence again. Not without a death wish. He heard rustling noises and then something smacked him in the face. “Get dressed, you know what day it is.”

Jensen grunted as he continue to get his brain back on line while putting on what turned out to be his pants. It was harder than he figured it really should be. “Oh fuck me,” he said when he finally got it. “You have no idea how glad I am to be blind right now.” Jensen retorted managing to get his jeans on and trying to find his shirt. He huffed and gave it up as a lost cause. He’d have to ask Dani, and ask her for a guide out the door. At least until he could find his cane.

They were both mostly upright and moving when Dani stopped dead in her tracks. Jensen bumped into her and stopped himself. "What?"

"Holy shit..." Dani breathed.

"Oh god, who else is naked?" Jensen asked, putting his free hand over his eyes.

"No one. Christian's in a suit." Dani breathed.

"Well, yeah," Christian drawled, and Jensen pulled his hand from his face. Not that it made much difference. "Some of us were up keepin' the Sabbath holy. Unlike y'all."

"Have you even been to bed yet?" Jensen asked suspiciously, remembering other long Saturday nights.

"Does it matter?" Christian said. "Now c'mon Jenny, I'll take you back to your place to get yer church suit and Dani can get all gussied up and we'll hit the next service."

"Fine, but then you're making breakfast," Dani grumbled.

"While wearing shorts!" Jensen added.

* * *

Jensen had just let the dogs back in when he heard the front door open. "Jens? Babe, you home?"

"Living room," Jensen called back, unable to keep the goofy grin off his face. "Managed not to kill myself while you were gone."

"I see that," Jeff said. Jensen heard a thud that meant he'd dropped his bag. Jensen made a mental note to use the cane for a bit until Jeff got around to picking it up and putting it away. It would only take a day or so for Jeff to remember. He hoped anyway.

Jensen felt Jeff's hand on his shoulder and the other on his face. "Missed you." Jensen said, closing the gap to kiss Jeff. Jeff kissed him back, Jensen's hands sliding lower to cup his ass. The broke apart, and Jensen started to slip to his knees, wanting to taste Jeff after a weekend away.

"Babe," Jeff groaned, stopping him. "Fuck, as much as I wanna see you on your knees, I really need to shower the airplane off me." Jensen felt a pang of disappointment before Jeff added, "then I promise you, I'll fuck you through the mattress, as many times and as many ways as you want."