Work Header

And Your Guys for Free

Work Text:

2:10 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: Just remember, if you fuck him, you lose all right to bitch about me and Barton.

2:15 a.m: From Eli Bradley: Are we really going to have this conversation?

2:16 a.m: From Kate Bishop: Are you really going to be a hypocritical asshole?

2:20 a.m: From Eli Bradley: Barton is our MANAGER. Barnes is just a producer. THERE IS A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE.

2:25 a.m: From Kate Bishop: lol.

2:26 a.m: From Kate Bishop: Eli Bradley, did you just send me a text using ALL CAPS?

2:30 a.m: From Eli Bradley: You're the only person I ever use all caps with.

2:35 a.m: From Kate Bishop: Lead singer privileges are AMAZING! You get the hot manager, the hotter groupies, the hot drummer ... and the cranky texts from the sexually frustrated bassist.

2:36 a.m: From Eli Bradley: Which hot drummer? The current one or the old one?

2:37 a.m: From Kate Bishop: lol, it's cute that OR is an option there.

2:38 a.m: From Kate Bishop: I guess that's not nice. I shouldn't rub my America and Tommy times in your face when you're obviously not getting any.

2:40 a.m: From Kate Bishop: Don't be sad, Eli. I'm sure he'll put out eventually. He's just old, you know.

2:41 a.m.: From Kate Bishop His idea of a good date is curling up with his snugglebuns on the couch and watching 60 Minutes together.

2:50 a.m: From Kate Bishop: If you don't reply back, I am going to work that last text into a song lyric.

2:51 a.m: From Eli Bradley: If you use the word 'snugglebuns' in a song, I am dropping out of the band.

2:52 a.m: From Eli Bradley: I am trying to work you know. That's why I'm in the studio? Laying down my part so it's ready for you to come do your magic tomorrow?

2:55 a.m: From Kate Bishop: Laying down your part, huh? ;)

2:56 a.m.: From Eli Bradley: I don't even like you.

3:00 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: Can we call the next album that? 'Laying Down My Part.' The Internet will love it.

3:01 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: Plus, it will instantly let them know that it's not as much of a downer as 'Crusade' was.

3:06 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: Also, you've been at the studio long enough to 'lay down your part' at least half a dozen times.

3:08 a.m.: From Eli Bradley: We're not getting any work done because my lead singer is obnoxious and because this studio sucks.

3:09 a.m.: From Eli Bradley: We're retreating to Barnes' private studio to see if the parts sound better there.

3:10 a.m.: From Kate Bishp: 'His private studio.' Our little Eli is growing up! I'll have to text the rest of the band to let them know. This calls for cupcakes. And alcohol.

3:12 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: His Wiki says that Barnes loves vodka. However, mine says that I once threw a glass of wine in Bobbi Morse's face, and that's false.

3:15 a.m.: From Eli Bradley: He hates vodka, and would you rather it say you went back to your hotel room and had a three-way?

3:17 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: I'm editing it to say that now.

3:20 a.m.: From Eli Bradley: ... This is the kind of thing that drives people to solo careers, Kate.

3:21 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: Pull the stick out, E. It's 2013 and it's just a "rumor" anyway. So says the Kate Bishop Wiki.

3:25 a.m.: From Eli Bradley: I don't even think this is really Kate. I think this is Barton using her phone for corrupt purposes.

3:40 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: It's ME! I can prove it.

3:41 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: Remember how you acted when Cassie first suggested we use Barnes for this album since Jones is on maternity leave?

3:42 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: Remember how you kept bashing Barnes' old band? "The Invaders were a "socially irrelevant, Beatles-wannabe, bubblegum pop band that was so offensively boring that even their lead singer finally realized they were pointless, before running off and dumping them?"

3:42 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: If I wasn't me, would I know that? You weren't taking showers with Barton and spilling your guts like that, now were you?

3:43 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: By the way, if he is still giving you trouble when you get to the 'private studio', you should try that line on him. It's a hell of a pickup line, Bradley.

3:45 a.m.: From Eli Bradley: Good NIGHT, Kate.

3:46 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: Night, night, Eli. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Whether you let Barnes bite is entirely up to you, though.

3:47 a.m.: From Eli Bradley: D:

3:48 a.m.: From Kate Bishop: :D