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Night Mime

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Dans POV:

I've never been one to hook up with strangers. I get too emotionally attached to everyone I have relations with. But somedays I can't help myself and I just want to go out and find someone to just fuck the feelings out of me. So that's how I ended up at that party.

I'm such an idiot.

***

I wish I would have never met you. I wish you would have never caught my gaze from across the room at that loud-ass party. Your eyes had turned on a switch inside me. Those beautiful, entrancing eyes gave me butterflies in my stomach. That stare made me flush a bright pink hue from my cheeks all the way to my neck. No one's ever had that kind of effect on me in such a long time.

Once you walked up to me I was rendered speechless. How could a gorgeous man such as you even find me the slightest bit attractive. My horrible dirt brown eyes and hair are no match for your lovely blue-green eyes and shiny, black fringe. I was so not worthy of your attention.

You asked for my name. I was about to give you a fake name like Zac or Winston or something entirely absurd so you could never look me up or find me again. But, I held onto a little sliver of hope, silently praying that you might actually be one of the good ones. The ones that don't just want to get with me for a good fuck. So I told you, "Dan Howell." Although, I knew deep down you'd probably forget it by midnight.

You and I talked for a couple of hours. I was completely shocked that you and I shared so much in common. We loved the same kinds of music, TV shows, and it was as if I was talking to my soulmate. I couldn't believe a person as nice and as sunny as you even existed. I learned your entire name is Philip Michael Lester. I learned about your quirks and about your unhealthy obsession with Buffy. It was like I had known you for years. Our conversation just flowed so naturally despite my obvious nervousness. You were what I've waited for my entire life. Or, that's what I thought.

***

You wanted to take me home.

We drank so much at that party. Our hands were intertwined and our lips were locked together. You just held me and we just swayed to the rhythm of the music. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I know you could feel it too. You soon dragged me out of that house party and in to the taxi you hailed. As soon as I got in I felt my stomach drop. You didn't really want all of me did you? Never really intended on seeing me long term after this? But I pushed these thoughts away because I thought you were different and I just couldn't help but want to take it further with you anyway.

***

You took me in to your apartment. Plush toys and plants littered your home. It was just so you. The thought that I might never see your place again is unbearable.

You laid me down on your bed and I looked into your murky blue eyes. They were filled with lust and hunger. You kissed me hard as if you'd been longing to do this for ages. I kissed you with just as much passion, or maybe even more. You were so nice and gentle with me. It felt like the first time, like I was actually making love to you. I hadn't known you a long time but you had already become someone very special to me. You were the best I've ever had. Looking at you so blissed out while simultaneously rocking in to me was a picture I never want to forget. You were so perfect and good to me. I've never cum so hard in my entire life. I wish that euphoric feeling would have lasted forever so I would've never felt how cold you turned towards me. You led me on so badly. You were suppose to cuddle me and hug me till morning after we'd finished, but that didn't happen. I couldn't believe you wouldn't even touch me or look at me when it was over, as if I was some disgusting $2 whore you stuck your penis into. But I should've guessed your only intention was to get me in bed from the start wasn't it? I'm such a greedy idiot for wanting and expecting more.

That very next morning, I gave you my number and you didn't say a word. You didn't want to have breakfast with me. You didn't want me to stay any longer. You just hurried me out and I've never felt more devastated or embarrassed in my life.

That following night I lied awake waiting for you to text me or say something. But you never did and I never mustered up the courage to say anything either. I just fell asleep with ocean eyes after waiting for you to come back in to my life. We can't just be over just like that. We could have been something more, we had so much potential. But I guess it just wasn't meant to be. It'll be ok, I'll be fine.

Chapter Text

Phil's POV:

Peej invited me to that lame-ass party. I was going to deny the invitation but I thought it was about time I went out. I'm not a social butterfly or anything but I like to get out once in a while. It's always sort of refreshing to get out my apartment and surround myself with an ocean of drunk people grinding to trap remixes.

But after an hour or so of meaningless conversations with strangers I had decided to pull myself away from the body of people. I decided to lean against the wall and just people watch for a while. I was sipping on my second beer when I saw you across the room.

I walked up to you putting on my bravest face. You were so art deco. You wore a Yung Lean 'Sad Boys' T-Shirt and black skinny jeans with bedazzled high tops. Normally I'd try to avoid people who took their ironic clothing to a whole other tier, but you pulled it off so well. I could already tell you held a strong appreciation for such trivial overlooked things. I couldn't help but just feel so drawn to you.

***

Your name was Dan Howell. How gorgeous. You suited it perfectly. Dan Howell seems like a bold name for bold type of person. To me you didn't seem like the wall flower you tried to be. You were born to be seen. As we talked more and more I proved my thoughts to be right. You were such a young thing just prowling around trying to find your place in this world. You had a voice that everyone needed to hear. You had such a beautiful perspective of the Earth and such a great grasp on life itself. The world needed to know who Dan Howell was because wow, you were something extraordinary. I wondered if you were even real. Jesus Christ. You were perfect.

***
My only intention from the start was to flirt with you and maybe even get a dance with you. But I got so much more. When I leaned in to kiss you I felt my stomach burn. It was as if there were fire crackers erupting in my stomach. I wanted that moment to last forever because I knew I didn't deserve you. You were so overwhelmingly perfect. You needed someone just as beautiful as you. Someone just as intelligent as you. Someone who shared your gorgeous brain. I just wanted to climb into your world and look around because oh my god you were just so spectacular in every way.

***

We ended up making out and dancing in the pit of sweaty bodies grooving to the music. Our bodies were colliding so perfectly and your lips stayed attached to mine. I didn't want you to leave me after this night but I knew I wasn't right for you. I couldn't compare to you at all. I'm a boring, clumsy introverted guy who stays indoors 24/7. I'm not fit and I'm not nearly as smart and witty as you. I seriously didn't earn the time I spent with you.

***

Soon enough you and I climbed into the inside of a taxi. I wanted to bring you home for at least one memorable night together. I felt so disgusted with myself but I couldn't help it. I wanted you. All of you.

I pulled you in to my house and you smiled so wide when you glanced around my apartment. Your dimples caved in and your eyes bared crinkles on either end. I felt my world fall apart. I was seriously going to miss that smile.

***

I got you into my bed and I kissed you hard because I knew this was the last time. I felt you kiss back with a small crooked smile still planted on your lips. I wanted to remember this night. I wanted it to just be you and I. I tore our clothes away with care and treated you as tenderly as I possibly could. I only knew you for a few hours but I'm pretty sure I had already fell in love.

I relentlessly pounded into you, loving the feeling and loving the view. You looked so heavenly. Your mouth open and panting heavily. I could hear you silently chanting my name. This is where I wanted to be forever. But it was all over too soon. In the morning you were going to have to leave. You were going to have disappear from life. I felt so claustrophobic after we both finished. I held in cries and just turned away from you. I regret not holding you until sunrise but I had to. I didn't deserve you.

When the sun eventually rose I made sure to study your face before you left. You looked so beautiful even when asleep. Eventually you did wake up and I turned my body pretending I just wasn't staring at you. You got up and so did I. We got dressed simultaneously and you gave me your number on a piece of paper. I didn't say anything instead I just set the piece of paper on my nightstand and guided you to the door. You looked like you were about to burst into tears but this was for your own good. You don't want someone like me Dan, I'm a piece of shit. You're a work of art. You deserve someone who can match your beauty.

That night I lied awake. Staring at that phone number. I could never call it. I could never see Dan again. I could never see you again. We weren't meant to be an item. This thought tore me to pieces but I knew you'd be happier without me. You had to be