Adaar raises up her weapon, testing it's weight. It's lighter then she's used to, lighter even then the training swords she choose so long ago, when it was time to make her place in the word. She bites at her lip, salt stinging the corners of her eyes, but she won't cry.
She will not fall to despair no matter how much she wants to. The breach didn't kill her, though did it ever friggin' try. She didn't meet her end at Red Templars or Venatori, not to ancient blighted magisters or even fake friends.
Adaar can get past this. She just has to learn how to fight with one arm, that's all.
Yeah. That's. All.
It might not be permanent. The stub is still healing, and Dagna says that with time, she should be able to fashion up some kind of prosthetic, the likes of which Thedas has never seen. Varric's even called in a few favors for her, despite her pleas that he's done enough, and Bianca's willing to work with the Arcanist to fashion a custom limb.
Adaar doesn't need anything fancy. She might not even need the promised limb at all. It won't be the same, and frig she swallows down the bitterness as muscles that aren't even there anymore contract, aching to join her other hand on the haft of her sword.
She's had to switch to a one handed sword; meant to be parried with a shield, leaving her form uneven and wrong as she strikes out with it, and raises it up to block imaginary enemies. Over and over she repeats the actions; struggling to relearn how to fight.
Iron Bull offered to spar with her when she's more confident, but that's a ways in the future. Adaar desperately misses Cassandra as she practices; wishing now she'd paid more attention to the other woman's form out in the field, instead of counting on her shield to always be there.
Not that Adaar regrets backing her as a candidate for the Divine, not for a moment. The Chantry might not be for her, but she can see it's merits, and Cassandra will stand as a force against corruption. Now, it's Adaar who's friends with a woman shaping the future of Thedas, and not the other way around.
Adaar practices for hours, until sweat rolls down her back and her muscles ache; the stump throbbing in time with her heart beat. She keeps on until her feet falter, and she's forced to lay her sword to rest, dropping to her knees in the middle of the ring.
She pants, her hair loose from its tie; frizzing up around her face. She doesn't have the will to tie it back in elaborate braids anymore, her fingers too clumsy to do it one handed. For the first time in years, she curses being born a qunari. If only she was an human, or an elf; and oh wouldn't Sera frown hearing her think that; she'd have long, slender fingers and this wouldn't be a problem.
Catching a glance of her reflection in her blade as she pants, Adaar ponders chopping it all off. She and Sera can match.
It's just a thought, and Adaar lets it rest. Pulling herself to her feet, she sheathes her sword behind her back, the weight once more reminding her how wrong this all is. The courtyard is quieter then it's been in ages, and she soaks in the silence; rubbing at her eyes.
Not everyone in the Inquisition has left yet; their members and patrons trickling out in a steady stream. She knows it won't be long until all her friends are gone, and she should savor what she has now.
No. Wait. That's. Not. Right.
Bull talks about leaving, and Adaar knows he will, sooner or later. The Inquisition was his home for years; losing him his country, but giving him so much more. Friends, family, a lover. But it's over, and his men are getting restless. He's not going to leave until he's sure she's alright, and she knows she'll see him again. She worked in merc bands all her life, they can turn up anywhere.
The weight of Dorian's sending crystal sits heavy on her chest, and she reaches up to grip it in her remaining hand. She can talk to him any time she wants, and she's honored to have inspired him so. She grins as she remembers he'll probably call on her tonight for advice, though Adaar doesn't know if hers is worthy, despite saving Thedas twice over.
All it ever did was get everyone mad at her.
She still receives letters from Varric; the friggin' Viscount of Kirkwall. She's even a noble now because of him, if she remembers correctly. The whole winter palace incident is a bit of blur in her mind.
Vivienne writes as well of course, and has invited her to tour her college any time she wishes. Their friendship may have had a set back because of Adaar's choice in lovers, but they're past that. She's unable to wear the ring Vivienne gave her anymore, but she feels in her pocket, where she keeps it on a chain.
Blackwall has his place in the wardens, so she probably won't see him many more times in his life, but. He's now what he claimed to have been in the first place, and Adaar has little regrets over that.
Cole went off to learn what it means to be human with Maryden, and Adaar wishes him luck. Cullen's been a huge help in the process of disbanding the Inquisition, as has Josephine. They'll remain friends no matter what fate has in store.
Leliana and her network will still be around, even if she is going to relax on her nug farm with her Warden now and again.
Solas... She'll stop him, some how. It's just going to be a lot harder without an army at her back.
Then there's Sera. Sera Friggin' Adaar. She feels her eyes well up with tears once more, but not from sadness. It's only been a few weeks, a little over a month, and she still can't believe it. Married, her. Before anyone else in her family. Well, not counting her mothers.
But still. Married. Her. She's married. She has a wife!
Adaar giggles as she heads towards the tavern. It's quiet now, only Bull and his chargers using it, as well as a few remaining scouts. But they're out on a job at present, and Leliana's in a meeting with her men.
She takes the stairs two at a time; until she's in front of Sera's door. It's been ages since she's slept in her own bed. There really isn't space for the two of them in Sera's little storage closet turned room; but they make it work. Besides, Adaar isn't inquisitor anymore, and she always hated the quarters that came with it.
Sera's laid out on the bed when she opens the door, but she springs to her feet with a grin, arms thrown wide.
“Honey Tongue!” She launches herself at Adaar, and Adaar laughs, meeting her lips for a kiss. They've only been parted for a few hours but it's felt like forever. She still can't believe they're married. Married. Friggin' yes.
“Mmm, Sera.” Adaar's sure there's a ridiculous, love sick smile on her face, but she doesn't give half a damn.
“Ugh, you're all sweaty. Not the find kind, either.” Sera laughs; and reaches up to tug her close by her horns. “Let's fix that.”
She's not about to argue.
Adaar's hot. She's sweaty. Her clothes stick to her skin as Sera peels them off; and throws them to the floor. Adaar would mention that they're in front of a window, but there's no one out practicing. That, and she doesn't friggin' care anymore.
Let them see. She's got a wife and she's well proud of it.
Sera climbs up into her lap, legs hooking around her waist, still fully clothed. Their lips meet, and Adaar clumsily wraps her arm around Sera's back, a pang of loss filling her as her stump reaches up to steady her wife as well.
“Hey.” Sera pulls away, a frown on her face. “None of that shite.” She pokes her finger in between Adaar's brows, her own eyes watery. “All that matters is I get to keep you.”
Sera grins wide, all her teeth showing. “Think I'll do that, yeah? C'mon, Honey Tongue. Let's have fun.”
Somehow in a whirlwind of kisses, Adaar ends up pressed with her back to the windows, her legs spread wide over the bed. Sera's just under her height, standing while she sits, but it doesn't last long as she leans into Adaar, an arm hooking around her shoulders.
Their breasts press into each other; Sera's smaller, perky, and clothed; Adaars huge and hanging without the support of her smalls. They heave with each breath as Sera brings her hand forward and teases at Adaars lower lips.
“Fuck yeah, Honey Tongue. I get to keep you, keep this.” She kisses Adaar, muffling any reply she might've had. Her fingers stroke at Adaars slit, sneaking inside one by one to fondle her inner folds.
Adaar shivers, bites her lip, her legs trembling. Sera's fingers are always able to leaver her breathless, whether from watching her work, or this. She breathes hard through her nose as one slips inside of her, followed by another, and another, Sera's thumb stroking her clit up and down.
“Mmm, yeah. Just like that, let me see you, Wifey. Let me hear you purr.” Sera breathes into her ear, as she begins to pump her fingers inside of Adaar's wetness. Pleasure builds in her groin, and Adaar finds herself helpless to resist arching up to meet Sera's hand.
It's a torture of the most exquisite kind, her thighs coated with her own fluids; the sounds of both of them panting as Adaar gets closer and closer to the edge.
She struggles to keep herself upright with one hand, her stump reaching back to steady herself against the window with a hand that's no longer there. She feels a sharp jolt of pain as tender flesh meets glass and yelps, causing Sera to pause.
“Honey Tongue?” Sera looks worried for half a moment before she frowns, bites her lip. She doesn't say anything about the way a few tears leave Adaar's eyes. She's too busy biting her own lip, from a different kind of pain.
Instead Sera presses against Adaar's sweet-spot hard, her thumb flicking her clit side to side now. Then up and down once more, her nails lightly scratching the sensitive nub. She leans in to kiss her when Adaar starts to buck her hips, and Adaar gasps into Sera's mouth as she climaxes.
Pleasure pulses through her in waves; cut by the throbbing of her stump, and oh frig. She starts to cry. Softly at first, followed by deep, chest heaving sobs.
She can't even friggin' orgasm correctly anymore. Adaar screws her eyes shut tight and bites down on her lip to try and stop the tears. Which only succeeds in making her cry harder, snot running down her face.
Frig. Friggin'. Frig it all.
The scent of sun kissed hair and sugar fills her nostrils; followed by the feel of fabric worn near through against her skin. Arms wrap around her shoulders; followed by a hand on her shoulder, squeezing. Her face is pressed into something soft.
She breathes, in and out, taking in that wonderful scent; a smell so uniquely Sera she finds herself calming. Her sobs taper off into hitching whimpers til finally she can breath without crying.
“Back with me, yeah?” Sera takes a step back to search Adaars face. “Not – not good with the crying shite. But. You're worth it, married you didn' I? Was it...was it somethin' I did?” Sera looks like she's about to cry herself.
“No.” Adaar hiccups, and rubs at eyes with her hand. “I just – I hit this frigging thing on the window.” She nods back to it, raises her stump, then slams her fist down on the bed in a sudden fit of anger. “I'm so useless!”
“Nah.” Sera shrugs, throwing her hands up in the air. “You've got a funny arm now, right?”
“Sod it. Not talking about this shite isn' makin' it go away, yeah?” Sera makes a farting sound, her tongue waggling in the air. “Shit at this, but. Honey Tongue.... it's just funny, not useless. Lotta people called me useless, and stupid, so I oughta know. I'm not. Thought I was, right? But they're wrong. Frigging fuck them.”
“I can't even braid my hair anymore, or fight, or frigging finger you without falling over, and-”
“So we make a night of it.” Sera waggles her fingers in the air with a grin. “Maybe later, you get out your brush and let me at it.”
“You?” Adaar blinks. “Braiding my hair?”
“Prolly screw it up a bunch at first, yeah.” Sera shrugs. “I can learn. You can learn to, I'll teach. Daggers, not as good as arrows, but I know both. Bet you can throw like wow, Honey Tongue.” She gives Adaar's bicep a squeeze as she laughs, the sound echoing around the room.
“Why do you stay with me?” Adaar shoots Sera a dopey smile, her eyes watering. “I'm such a mess.”
“The messiest. My mess. Sera and Adaar against the world, right? You promised. We promised. Funny arm ain't gonna stop that.” Sera shoves her lightly, follows it with a kiss. “As for the other thing, we'll just use pillows or somethin' till it's done healing... an I've got an idea. Game?”
Sera reaches down to tug up her shirt, face all toothy. Adaar smiles back at her and nods.
“Game.” She rubs at her eyes one more time, just in case. “Always love playing with you, Sera.”
Sera kicks off her shoes, tugs down her leggings, follows it with her smalls, and casts a hungry grin at Adaar. She advances on her like she's prey, making her shiver in anticipation. When they're nose to nose, Sera drops a kiss to her cheek and climbs into her lap.
“You'll like this game.” Sera rubs up against her, caressing her with her breasts. They kiss for awhile, Adaar's hand remaining on Sera's bony bottom while Sera's wander everywhere. Over Adaar's sides, squeezing her hips, thumbs rubbing circles into her nipples.
A trail of spittle connects them when Sera pulls away, eyes half lidded.
“Wa-oof. Whew. Heheheh.” Sera licks her lips, eyes roving over Adaar's body. “Stay still for me, yeah?”
Adaar blinks but nods, curious what she's up to. She tilts her head to the side in confusion when Sera turns around and nudges Adaar's legs further apart to sit between them. It starts to dawn on her what Sera wants when she reaches back for Adaar's arm to guide her hand in between her hips.
“Get to it, Wifey.” Sera spreads her legs wide and settles back, her head resting in between Adaar's breasts. She grins up at her, tosses her head to the side with a wink.
Oh. Adaar can do that. Yeah. She can do that.
She worries for her balance, but Sera's pinned her pretty well against the window. Adaar mourns her lost hand at first, wishing she could stroke Sera's breasts and flick her nipples while she did this. She shoves the thought down violently with a growl, making Sera giggle.
“Love it when you get all grrr. Keep goin'. Want me to fall asleep?”
Adaar leans down, bites at one of Sera's ears in answer, causing her to moan.
“Shiiiit yeah, that's it. Friggin'...good at that.”
She grows bolder, her hand stroking Sera's bony hips and dipping lower. She parts Sera's slit carefully, teases her folds. Sera's so wet she can smell it in the air. Adaar shudders, closes her eyes, and feels.
Her fingers are too big to fit more then one inside her smaller lover at first, so she teases Sera's clit with the rough callus of her thumb. Sera arches her back for more, and Adaar obliges, slowly at first then faster and faster.
“Just gonna tease me all night, Love?” Sera pants, her hands coming up to toy with her own breasts. “Or are you gonna get on with it?”
Adaar laughs and shakes her head. Well. If that's what Sera wants.
She quits teasing, and dips her finger inside her lover. She shivers as she feels the soft, wet inner walls of Sera's cunt squeezing the digit. Friggin' yeah.
Adaar feels around until Sera gasps, and her lips twitch. Found it! She presses hard into that spot, clumsily stroking her lovers clit with her thumb at the same time.
It used to be easier, with two hands. She could hold Sera's lips apart, really focus on her clit while stroking her inside. But Adaar will learn. Sera's a good teacher.
Her hand's getting soaked, and Adaar moans, longing for a taste. Later. That can wait til later.
She's not going to lie to herself. This isn't the best sex they've ever had; even her first clumsy fumbling probably tops it. But it's a start. Adaar carefully inserts another finger, stretching Sera wide. A moan and a round of cursing fills her ears and she grins.
Didn't hurt then. That's always a worry of hers, with how large everything about her body is. She pumps her fingers inside that sweet warmth, rubs her thumb as best she can against Sera's clit, though it's getting sore. Sera's panting, harder now, her back arching as she rocks up into Adaar's hand.
Adaar leans down carefully to keep her balance and bites down on Sera's neck.
“Fuck! Wifey!” Sera shouts as her hips keep bucking, and she squeezes around Adaars fingers, panting hard. Adaar stills her fingers but keeps stroking Sera's nub through her orgasm, stopping when Sera shakes with over stimulation.
The only sound is panting for awhile; mostly Sera's, but Adaar got pretty worked up to. She did it. She did. She really did. She's not – not ruined.
“So...” Sera reaches for her; easing Adaar's hand up and out of her, shivering all the while. “I'm a pretty good teacher, yeah?”
“The best.” Adaar grins, and brings her hand up to suck on her fingers. Sera's juices taste great; tart and sweet at the same time. Sera laughs at her when she says as such, calls her a loony.
They don't talk for awhile, just cuddle together, uncaring of their nudity. Eventually, Sera speaks.
“Know what you want to do when this is all done, Wifey?” Sera sighs. “It's getting less and less fun. I've got my Red Jenny thing, and you've got Solas to chase, know that. But whatcha gonna do in the meantime?”
“I was thinking...” Adaar pauses, gathers herself. What she says next Sera may not like, knowing what she does about how Sera was raised. “There's only a few months left before the castle will be empty. You're. That is. We're family now, right?”
“Riiiiight?” Sera looks up at her, mouth screwing to the side in confusion. “Married and all, yeah?”
“Well. I.” Adaar takes a deep breath. “It's been years since I've seen my family. I was thinking we could go visit them? They'd love you. I do.”
“You...want me to meet your family?” Sera sits up, turns to face her, hands in her lap. Her eyes are wide and Adaar can't tell if she's scared or not.
“Well, yeah. My moms, my brothers and sister.” She tilts her head to the side. “Well, it might be sisters now. It's been a few years, and Mama takes in a lot of kids. Tama says she hates it, but she always agrees.”
“Honey Tongue? Friggin' yes.” Sera launches herself at Adaar, knocks her over with the force of her kiss. Her stump gets knocked against the window again, but Adaar can only laugh, despite the pain. It's worth it, so long as she has Sera with her.
Family. Yeah? Yeah.