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Tonight And The Rest Of My Life

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song by: Nina Gordon


I couldn’t die now. Not like this. Not so soon after we’d finally opened up to each other and admitted the truth about our feelings. It was more than some twisted kind of friendship. He’d said soulmates once, and that’s just what we were. Soulmates.


Down to the earth I fell

With dripping wings

Heavy things won’t fly


Someone had tried to assassinate Edward, but of course Death was better. He was the best. Donna had been killed in the crossfire. Thankfully the kids had been off visiting their grandparents. They now lived there permanently because Ted and Donna hadn’t tied the knot yet. Even if they had, the children would probably still be with her parents. There was no way he could have taken care of them.


And the sky might catch on fire

And burn the axis of the world

That’s why I prefer a sunless sky

To the glittering and stinging in my eyes


He came to see me about a week after it happened. He realized that he never did love her, although he would miss Becca. Hell, he’d even miss Peter. The boy had shown potential, after all. Once they’d had the funeral and the kids had been squared away with their next of kin, he came to me with open arms.


I feel so light

This is all I want to feel tonight

I feel so light

Tonight and the rest of my life


“She never could’ve replaced you, Anita. No matter how much I tried to convince myself she was better, she just couldn’t compare. You’re the only one for me. I love you,” he’d whispered in my ear as he held me close.


Gleaming in the dark sea

I’m as light as air

Floating there breathlessly


“You said you didn’t think about me that way,” I reminded him.

“I lied.”

“Good, because so did I.”

Then we kissed. It was unlike any kiss I’d ever had. It was so full of passion, but the most amazing part was the feeling he instilled in me with a single press of his lips to mine. I was his world. Maybe he could’ve been mine, too.


When the dream dissolves

I open up my eyes

I realize that

Everything is surely seen

Weightlessness is passing over me


But there were other’s so consider. Micah, Nathaniel, Damian, Jean-Claude, Asher, even Richard. How would they feel about him? How would he feel about them? Well, I could at least get an answer to one of those questions.

“I won’t live forever, Anita. I can’t. Just be with me tonight. None of the other stuff matters, as long as I have you. Please,” he practically begged.


I feel so light

This is all I want to feel tonight

I feel so light

Tonight and the rest of my life


We somehow made it up the stairs and into the bedroom. We were naked before he set me on the bed and began to work my body in ways I’d never even dreamt of.


Everything is waves and stars

The universe is resting in my arms


We held each other afterwards, neither one saying a word for fear of breaking the peace that surrounded us. Or perhaps there was simply nothing more to be said. I’d never felt so completely whole in my entire life.


I feel so light

This is all I want to feel tonight

I feel so light

Tonight and the rest of my life


We showered together, helping to scrub those hard-to-reach places. Then we went beneath the Circus of the Damned to tell Jean-Claude that Edward and I were interested in trying to pursue this relationship. He did not take the news well.


I feel so light

This is all I want to feel tonight

I feel so light

Tonight and the rest of my life


Jean-Claude nearly tore out Edward’s wind-pipe. My shot caught him in the shoulder. It wasn’t enough to kill him, but it was enough to get him away from Edward. I cradled Edward in my arms, crying as his life began slipping away while Jean-Claude stood over me, trying to apologize despite the smug grin that tugged at his mouth.

“You’re sorry, are you? Then you can die for him,” I growled.

Ma petite, what are you talking about?”

I smiled at his worried look, and I knew it was a vicious snarl. I gently lowered Edward to the ground and stood, advancing towards Jean-Claude.

He moved away from me, step for step.

“Don’t worry, it’ll only hurt for a moment. Although, it would be fun to... No, that would take too long. This will be quick,” I promised as I reached out my empty hand to cup his face.

He relaxed against my touch at first, then his eyes grew wide as he felt himself being drained.

“A little trick I learned from Obsidian Butterfly,” I explained.

He started trying to scream then, but it was too late.

I dropped his lifeless corpse to the ground and turned to Edward, who was staring at me with wide eyes. I knelt beside him and forced the energy into him. I felt Richard dying, trying to bring me down with him. I began draining Damian and Nathaniel in turn, taking what I could from Richard as well. I had to finish healing Edward. I had to.


Tonight and the rest of my life


I kissed his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, his lips, forcing every ounce of my love and strength into him as I did. The world started fading to black, and I fell away. It felt like I was falling forever. But there was angel there to catch me.

“I’ll get you to the hospital,” it whispered.