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Use the Fluff, Ray

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Mikey feels like it shouldn't be possible to lose Ray. Ray's hair is like a lighthouse beacon, and he's pretty sure that it should be visible at all times.

Mikey cannot see Ray's hair (or the rest of Ray, which is not as weird, but still as frustrating) and it's not his fault that he got distracted by the store window display, it's Ray's fault for wandering off. Mikey nods, decisively. The fact that Ray was in the front and Mikey didn't say he was stopping is nothing to do with anything. Ray should have known that Mikey cannot not be distracted by Star Wars. Mikey is entirely blameless in this situation.

Also: Star Wars. Fucking Star Wars bears. Mikey is kind of annoyed that Gee hasn't told him about these. He has to know, because Bandit, and he also knows that this is entirely relevant to Mikey's interests. Mikey texts him

You fucking suck

It takes all of 30 seconds for Gee to call him back. "I fucking do not. What the fuck?"

"You didn't tell me they have Star Wars bears."

"They fucking what?"

"The stuff-yourself bears people have Star Wars bears and you didn't tell me"

"I didn't know" Gee sounds wounded. Mikey has fallen for Gee's puppy dog routine before, even though that is not how it's supposed to work; Gee is the big brother. Mikey sticks his tongue out, puppy dog eyes don't work through the phone, anyways. Ha! "How did B get that fucking Pink Overalls bear then?"

"Lynz went to that party with B and she didn't tell me. She's supposed to tell me shit like that, why didn't she say anything? " Gerard audibly pouts. "I mean, I don't want B to just like stuff because I think it's awesome or whatever, but she came back from that party with fucking Pink Overalls Bear and the cats keep stealing its hat! She doesn't even play with it. Lynz should have, like, mentioned that there were better fucking options"

Mikey doesn't want to get in the middle of any Gee and Lynz disagreements or anything, they tend to get distracted from being annoyed and end up being all mushy and there are some things that he never wants to see again, thanks, but B is his niece. Mikey has a duty. "I'll get her something."

"You are the best uncle."

"Obviously." Mikey hangs up the phone and shrugs to himself. Ray will work out that he's lost Mikey pretty soon, and then he'll backtrack and then he'll see what happened, so Mikey might as well just go in and buy Bandit a Rey bear (and if they have a Luke bear, too, then, well, it's like the fucking law that Mikey needs that too).

The bear store is packed and fucking loud, and honestly it looks like the pit at an MCR show, except, you know, a foot shorter with more fucked-off looking parents... the screaming volume's about the same though and Mikey kind of wishes he had his monitors with him to block up his ears.

It takes for-fucking-ever to get to the Star Wars display, and Mikey only narrowly avoids permanent injury by flying toy several times. He's a fucking ninja though and kids have nothing on Frank for flying attacks, so he is trained for this shit.

He feels kind of insulted that no one seems to be paying any attention to the Star Wars display. Fucking kids today, man.


They don't have a Luke bear. Mikey pouts, but he's a fucking grown up, and if he says the Jedi Bear is a Luke Bear, then it's a fucking Luke bear. He gets Rey for B, and also gets the R2 bear (because fuck yes) and the Vader Bear, because it's awesome. The guy at the stuffing machine doesn't even look at him funny or anything.


The guy at the stuffing machine is possibly blind. Mikey is not fucking kissing a fucking plastic heart with Darth Vader breathing sounds recorded on it. The R2 beeps one, fine, like, R2 is fucking awesome, but Darth?

The guy keeps looking at him like he's totally fucking disappointed, so Mikey looks around and kisses it super covertly. Maybe not kissing it means full on Dark Side? It's probably best to be, like, careful.

Whatever, no one saw. Ray is super fucking slow at finding people.


Ray doesn't find him until Mikey's at the computer registering the Bears' names and birthdates and he's Googling on his phone to find out what Rey's birthday is. The internet is fucking useless, so he texts Pete instead.

"Hi." Mikey nods at the seat next to him. Ray is too tall to talk to when they're not both sitting down.

"I shouldda known." Ray rolls his eyes, but he's smiling, so fuck it.

"Yup. Hold this." Mikey hands Ray Rey and starts registering Luke instead. Birthday: May 25, 1977.


Ray is a good bear-holder. He's got big hands and doesn't drop shit nearly as often as Mikey does. He gets a little distracted by R2's beep-trill noises, but who fucking wouldn't. Registering the bears takes way too fucking long. Like, he could do it at home later, but it's not the same, and Mikey doesn't want his Bears out in the world all unregistered and shit.

That does at least give Pete a chance to reply.

I don't fucking kno If this is for a bear use Bs own bday

Mikey shows the message to Ray.

"It is fu...reaking scary how much Pete can read your mind." Ray looks apologetically at the Mom standing glaring at him for almost cursing in front of her kid.

Mikey rolls his eyes at Ray. Mom fucking cursed in front of him and Gee all the time and they were fine. "Well duh. Sweet Little Dudes, dude. Of course he knows what I'm asking about."

"Scary." Ray makes his you-are-a-freak face. It's awesome. "Are all the bears registered now? Can we go soon?"

Mikey shrugs. Like, they're pretty much done, but he doesn't get the hurry.

"Time for coffee?" Ray asks. Ray is evil.


Ray's only a little evil, he carries half the bears (Darth, obviously, because he's evil and Dark Side and all that, and R2, because he's also awesome and the controller of the universe, just like R2) and he pays for the coffee.


Mikey is totally going to go back and get Ray a Chewie bear, so they can show their awesome hair to each other.