Look at Me
Disclaimer: I lay claim only to my stories.
Naruto lay on his back, panting. Beside him lay the source of his exhaustion: Sasuke Uchiha. The dark haired man, after pulling out of his tan body, had turned over and passed out, facing away from him. The familiar sting of tears crept into his sapphire eyes.
Every night they spent together was the same. After training, they would go to Ichiraku's for dinner, and wander over to Sasuke's house. Each time, Naruto knew what was going to happen and hated himself for going along with it. He had spent the last four years aware that he was completely in love with the brooding avenger, but that was no excuse for letting himself become what he became.
The first night had been a terrible experience. Naruto had tried to make himself okay with it by focusing solely on it being with Sasuke, but that did little to overshadow the blinding pain and utter silence that came from the Uchiha. Sasuke had haphazardly stretched him and, without lubrication, taken him roughly, not waiting for him to adjust. Not wanting to make Sasuke stop and risk losing what little intimacy he'd gained, he had clenched his jaw and gripped onto the sheets.
The raven had been so caught up in his own orgasm, he didn't notice that Naruto had long since gone soft.
Ever since, at least once a week, they would follow this pattern of rough, emotionless (on Sasuke's part) sex, followed by Naruto waking up to an empty bed. He knew how pointless this cycle was, but he couldn't bring himself to refuse. He had never imagined he would get to be joined with Sasuke and so he would take it, even if he knew that it meant nothing to the dark man.
Feeling the sharp burn of salt in his eyes, Naruto sat up, wincing at the ache in his back-side, and stumbled to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Facing the large mirror in the dim light from the small window, Naruto let the tears fall as he stared at his reflection. Sinking to his knees, he held himself tightly, choking back the sobs that wracked his abused body. He was disgusted with himself. He had allowed himself to be used like this for months now and nearly every night found him on his knees, sobbing against the cold bathroom tiles.
The blond woke the next morning to a cold bed and sunlight streaming in through the open window. His eyes dead, he rolled out of bed and mechanically got dressed. Once clothed, he made his way slowly out the door, not bothering to look for Sasuke. The raven was never in the house when he woke up.
Most mornings, he would head straight to his apartment to shower and appear to the rest of the world that nothing was wrong. Today, though, the world had other plans. As he drug himself toward his pathetic dwellings, an old friend called out to him.
"Naruto!" Hinata called sweetly, waving at her old crush. After starting to date Kiba, she had become far more confident. At least, around Naruto. To the rest of their village, she was still as timid as always.
If it had been anyone else, Naruto would have forced himself to smile and act 'normal,' but there was no need with her. She had been the first person he'd told that he was gay and the only person he'd told about his love and physical relationship with Sasuke.
As she got closer, she could see clearly the lifeless look in his blue eyes. Instantly, her face fell. "Oh, Naruto." She sighed as she wrapped her arms around him. "Come on. Kiba's not home right now." She said, pulling him toward the house her and the dog-lover shared.
Sitting on the warm yellow couch, Naruto dropped his head into Hinata's lap, letting her stroke his yellow hair. Quickly, the caring touches to his scalp shook him from his deadened state and a fresh torrent of tears erupted from his eyes.
"I can't do this anymore, Hina-chan!" He sobbed. "He doesn't love me. I've known it all along, but I let it happen! I'm such an idiot! I really thought things would change! I really thought that he would come to love me eventually, but it's been months and he still doesn't even look at me during!"
Tears falling silently from her eyes, Hinata leaned down, wrapping her arms around her best friend. Naruto's fingers gripped tightly to her blue jumper. "I c-can't keep d-doing this!" Seeing Naruto like this broke Hinata's heart. She held him tightly and stroked his back until he cried himself to sleep. Gently, she lifted his head from her legs and fetched a blanket for him. After covering him completely, a frightening look came into her lavender eyes. Silently, she crept out of the house.
Sasuke walked down the street, in great need of a shower after his four-hour training session with Neji Hyuuga. For a moment, he wondered if Naruto would still be in bed, but he didn't have time to ponder it.
Sasuke flipped around, hearing his name bellowed from behind. The only person within sight was the Hyuuga heiress looking visibly... enraged? Was that even possible for her?
"What?" He groaned. He was too tired for this. Suddenly, he realized the cousin of his sparring partner was only a matter of inches away from him.
"You BASTARD!" She shouted, grabbing a fist-full of his sweat-soaked shirt. "How DARE you treat Naruto this way?! You do not deserve him, you son of a bitch! You EVER hurt him again and I SWEAR I will kill you if it is the last thing I do! Do you hear me?!"
"Hinata!" Neji cried, running up to try and pry his cousin off of Sasuke.
"Back off, Neji!" She shouted, glaring. Turning back to Sasuke, she shoved him away with disgust and headed back to her home.
Neji's pale eyes stared widely at Sasuke, utterly shocked at his cousin's behavior. "What the hell was that about, Uchiha?"
With equally wide eyes, Sasuke shook his head. "I have no idea."
After a few moments, Neji's eyes returned to normal. "Well, I've never seen her like that, so whatever happened between you and Naruto, I'd remedy it. QUICKLY." He glanced back to the last place he'd seen his cousin and then turned to go home.
Naruto awoke to the smell of miso. The warm, spicy scent was like a tiny shot of life for the heart-broken man. He rolled off of the couch and ran a hand through his hair. He grimaced at the oily feel it left on his hand.
Seeing the look, Hinata smiled from her station in front of the stove. "The broth isn't ready yet. Go take a shower. You'll feel better."
Naruto nodded, his heart warming slightly. He could always trust Hinata.
He let out an involuntary sigh as the warmth rolled down his body. The hot water had felt wonderful on his tense muscles. He spent a few minutes simply enjoying the relaxing atmosphere. Twenty minutes later, he emerged from the shower, a small pile of folded clothes set on the counter for him.
Dressed and refreshed, he spent the rest of the evening with Kiba and Hinata. The three laughed, played games and simply enjoyed each other's company. At the end of the night, the couple had offered their spare bedroom to Naruto, but he smiled and declined. He told them he needed to sleep in his own bed.
Not long after arriving at home did he regret his decision to go home. The small apartment had always been a subtle reminder that he was always alone. He lived alone. No one checked on him there. It was a monument to his eternal solitude. Once or twice, he'd thought of moving, but he knew it'd be pointless. He'd just end up feeling the exact same way, only somewhere else.
The shower had been a huge help, but he still felt exhausted. Who knew wallowing in self-pity took so much out of you? He began to make his way toward his bed when a knock sounded at his door.
"Now? Really?" Naruto whispered before turning to answer the door. He collected himself, plastering his best fake smile on his face and pulled the door open. Seeing his visitor caused his face to drop. "Hey," he said.
Sasuke looked at the blond's eyes. They were red and puffy and weren't as bright as he had come to enjoy seeing. The man looked like he'd been hit by a truck. "Can I come in?"
Naruto's hand began to shake slightly. They had never done this at his house and, as much as it was a symbol of his abandonment, Naruto didn't think he could handle letting himself be used in his own bed. "Not tonight, Sasuke. I'm exhausted."
Naruto started to close the door, but Sasuke placed his hand flat against the wood panel and stopped it. For a moment, he was sure he'd seen a flash of fear in Naruto's eyes. "We need to talk, Naruto."
Naruto was stunned for a moment. After starting into this physical exchange, the only one who spoke was Naruto. The shock was enough for him to let the raven into his apartment.
The small room was a mess, as always, but what unsettled Sasuke the most was that the demolished space had always brought with it a sense of lived-in warmth. Tonight, it looked like someone just couldn't be bothered to care about the place.
"L-look, I'm really tired. What did you want to talk about?" Naruto asked, fidgeting with his sleeve, the fear having returned. Now Sasuke was inside. He didn't want to be used again, but he wasn't sure he could say no if Sasuke wanted it.
"Hinata Hyuuga threatened me tonight."
That certainly was not what Naruto was expecting to hear.
"W-w-what? Sh-she did what?"
Sasuke turned to face the startled blond. "She said I didn't deserve you and that if I ever hurt you again, she'd kill me."
Naruto looked dazed for a moment as he let Sasuke's statement process. Hinata, HIS Hinata, had THREATENED a shinobi as powerful as Sasuke? None of that made sense.
"What I'd like to know is how YOU feel about all of this." Sasuke said, stepping closer to Naruto. Then the fear was back in Naruto's eyes. "Naruto, why are you scared?"
Naruto's whole body began to quake softly. He looked down to the floor, feeling the tears coming, but being desperate to not let Sasuke see them. "Please, Sasuke. Please don't do this to me anymore." His voice came out quiet and broken.
Sasuke couldn't help but be startled. He stretched his hand out to lay it on Naruto's shoulder but the sharp shudder that ran through the blond's body made him retract it. "Nartuto..."
Naruto wrapped his arms tightly around his chest. "P-p-please, S-Sasuke. I c-c-can't do this an-anym-more. Please. I-I can't."
Naruto looked so small and fragile, like a cornered rabbit. Sasuke had never seen his dobe look so vulnerable. "Naruto, please, tell me what's wrong." He asked as softly as he was able.
Naruto was caught between fury and agonizing terror.
Still looking like a small, trapped animal, Naruto looked up to glare at the Uchiha. He was the trapped animal that was going to go down fighting. "What's wrong is my best friend has been fucking me for the past three months and he doesn't even care about who he's doing it with! Every time, you have your eyes closed! You don't look at me during! You don't speak to me after. You just pull out, turn over and pass out! I wake up to an empty bed! You're not even in the house! You care so little about me that you didn't even notice that the first time, you were the ONLY one aroused! I was in so much pain that by the time you finished I was completely SOFT! I'm just a convenient fuck to you and I'm so in love with you that I let you!"
Sasuke stood stunned. Hearing Naruto talk about their first time was like night and day from his recollection.
"N-Naruto... I-I... I'm sorry. I d-didn't know. That first night... I was so caught up... I... I'm sorry. I didn't know." As Naruto's hurt and angry eyes glared at Sasuke's porcelain face, a small gasp pulled from his lips. A single crystal tear fell from Sasuke's eyes.
"I never wanted to hurt you! I just didn't know what I was doing that night! I woke up that morning so shocked that it'd happened, all I could do was sit there for an hour! You were still sleeping so I t-tucked you in and went to train to clear my head! By the time I came back, you were gone!" A little blush dusted Sasuke's cheeks. "Every time since, I've done the same thing! I tuck you in, k-k-kiss you, and then go train because I can't calm down."
Naruto was visibly shocked. "B-but... you don't even look at me."
Sasuke's blush deepened. "Th-that's because... if I look at you... I'll... finish too fast." He let out a heavy sigh. "Naruto... you're just so... beautiful, I... I can't control myself around you. You just... always acted so normal... I didn't know I was hurting you so much." Shimmering streaks of tears coursed down his pale face. "I'm so sorry, Naruto. I've NEVER wanted to hurt you. I'm just so sorry."
This was the most open Sasuke had ever been with the scarred man and he didn't know how to respond. "Sasuke..." He stepped towards the raven, wrapping the crying man in his arms. "Sasuke, why? Why do you sleep with me?"
The raven tensed in Naruto's embrace. His guilt for what he'd done to the blond won out over his gripping pride and the words fell from his lips like water.
"Because I love you."
Now, it was Naruto's turn to freeze. "W-wh-what?"
"I... I love you, Naruto. And I'm so stupid, I hurt you. I'm sorry."
Naruto held Sasuke's face between his hands and looked into his eyes. "Do you mean that?"
The pale man nodded. "I love you."
The smallest of smiles pulled at Naruto's face. "I love you too," he said as he pulled Sasuke to him, placing a gentle kiss to those pale lips.
Sasuke wrapped his arms around his love's waist. He held the smaller body against him, feeling better than he ever had. The nights they had spent together had felt wonderful but were always lacking something. Now, he finally knew what that was. He couldn't believe he'd been such an idiot.
He pulled away, looking into Naruto's eyes. "Naruto, I want to sleep with you. I don't want to have sex. I just want to fall asleep, holding you. C-can I?"
The blond's breath caught in his throat at the level of emotion in Sasuke's eyes.
Naruto woke to light streaming in through his dirty window. Turning his face to escape the light, he found a pair of obsidian eyes looking back at him. The initial shock wore off immediately and he smiled softly at Sasuke.
"Good morning." The raven hummed, kissing a tan forehead.
The simple gesture sent a warming sensation from the crown of his head to the tips of his sun-kissed toes. "Good morning." He tucked his face into the crook of Sasuke's neck, breathing his scent deeply. The feel of Sasuke's hand stroking his back so tenderly made his smile grow wider.
"Are you alright? I didn't even ask you last night."
He rested his hand against Sasuke's strong chest. "Yeah. I was okay, but I'm much better right now."
Sasuke kissed the top of his head. "Good."
This new tender side to Sasuke brought a slight blush to the blond's face.
"You are so beautiful." The raven whispered against Naruto's ear.
His blush deepened.
"And before you were so shy."
Sasuke's embrace tightened. "That shyness and pride hurt you. I'll never let that happen again."
The blond smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to Sasuke's collarbone. The light touch sent a slight shutter through Sasuke's body.
"Naruto," He sighed.
A small smirk played across Naruto's lips. He kissed at the same spot, putting more pressure into it.
A quiet moan escaped Sasuke's pale lips. "Naruto, please. Stop."
Blue eyes looked up at him in confusion.
"I love you. I love you, so I don't want to hurt you. For now, I just want to catch up on caring for you like I should have been all this time."
Tears welled up in Naruto's sapphire eyes. As they spilled over, he threw his arms around Sasuke, linking them behind the raven's back. "Say it again, Teme."
Sasuke smiled, realizing how much he'd missed being called that. "I love you, Naruto Uzumaki."
Two months had passed since that night. They announced their relationship that day and Naruto had moved in with Sasuke a week ago.
Naruto pulled on his pajama bottoms, while Sasuke was in the shower. He understood why Sasuke had been reluctant to be physical, but he was finally with Sasuke the way he'd always wanted. He knew Sasuke wouldn't hurt him again and he wanted Sasuke so badly.
"You look like you've got something on your mind."
Naruto's head snapped up, hearing Sasuke's voice. Not helping his predicament at all, the pale man stood in the doorway, covered by nothing but a towel.
Moving purely on instinct, Naruto rose from his seat on the side of the bed, sauntered across the room and ran his hands slowly up Sasuke's arms. The contact of skin on skin sent goosebumps across both men's bodies.
"Shh." he hushed, pressing his lips against his boyfriend's lips. His copper fingers carded through Sasuke's wet hair as he ran his tongue along the seam of those pale lips. Sasuke's arms coiled around his waist, pulling their bodies together.
Nervously, Sasuke opened his mouth to the prodding tongue. Naruto's slick muscle slid along his own, rubbing and twisting them together. A flash of worry made him pull back.
This did nothing to deter Naruto. He latched onto Sasuke's jaw, traveling down to his neck, where he sucked hungrily against his pulse.
"B-baby, please. D- Ahh!" he moaned loudly as Naruto bit roughly at the junction of his shoulder and neck. "Naru, I c-can't."
"Sas, please. I want you." Naruto murmured against his opalescent skin.
At first, Sasuke felt tense and then relaxed. He pulled his arms back from the blond's waist and wrapped them around Naruto's neck. He pressed his lips against a tan ear and whispered, "Then take me."
As understanding dawned on the blond his blue eyes grew wide. "Y... you want me to... do... you...?"
Sasuke smiled softly and nodded. "I want you to. I want you to know you're the only person in this world I'll ever open myself to like this. Only you will ever be able to control me. Only you will ever dominate me." He threaded his long fingers through Naruto's blond spikes. "Claim me, Naruto."
Naruto had never felt so aroused in his life.
"Nyahh!" Sasuke cried. His legs tightened their hold on Naruto's hips as the blond pounded into him.
The man had accuracy like a surgeon and he was using it to its fullest, relentlessly abusing Sasuke's prostate.
Naruto had stretched him so carefully and had been so patient with him while he adjusted to being filled. Even that small amount of pain brought tears to his eyes, realizing just how much pain he must have put Naruto through their first night. The blond had hushed him after the fourth apology.
The raven's eyes were closed tightly, desperately clinging onto reality. The overwhelming pleasure he was receiving from his lover was indescribable.
"Sasuke," Naruto panted, maintaining his fierce pace, "look at me."
The raven's blush deepened as he forced his lids back, looking into Naruto's eyes. As soon as their gazes met, Sasuke let out a keening shriek of "Naruto" as he came, coating their stomachs in his seed.
Hearing his love call his name in the throws of orgasm at the same time as feeling that man's walls gripping his member so tightly threw him over the edge. "Sasuke!" He cried as he released inside Sasuke's pulsing channel.
Naruto dropped his forehead against Sasuke's shoulder, panting from the most intense orgasm of his life. A minute later, he looked up to realize that Sasuke was sound asleep. Thinking back to the moment their eyes met, Naruto let out a small chuckle. "You weren't kidding, were you Sasuke?" With a soft smile on his lips, Naruto leaned down, kissed his lover's lips, and rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's naked body.
Sasuke woke with the pink-orange light of dawn falling across his face. The weight against his stomach was warm and he ran his hand unconsciously up Naruto's arm. He turned his head, looking down at his lover's calm expression.
The dull ache at the base of his spine was uncomfortable but worth it. Last night had been the best night of his life. Even if Naruto wanted to be the uke, Sasuke was certainly going request equal trade. He HAD to be taken by Naruto again.
Gently, he ran his knuckles across the blond's scarred cheek. "You really are beautiful."
"So you've said."
"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry." Sasuke caressed Naruto's face.
"Yeah, but it's okay." The blond smiled warmly up at him. "Good morning."
"Good morning." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Naruto's lips.
Naruto held Sasuke's hand against his cheek, leaning into the loving touch. "How are you feeling?"
"Good." Sasuke smiled. "Sore, but happy. Really happy."
Naruto let out a soft chuckle. "Well then, I guess I'll have to wait until tonight then."
Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. "Wait for what?"
Naruto grinned, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. "I wanted to switch after, but you fell asleep so fast."
Sasuke's cheeks burned with a deep blush. "Ughh!" He groaned at his own lack of stamina. He had hated never going multiple rounds with the blond. "Sorry."
Naruto laughed lightly, nipping softly at Sasuke's pale neck. "It's okay. We've got plenty of time to practice."
A quiet moan rumbled from the raven's chest. "Fuck, I love you."