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Road Trips, World Saving, Science...You Know, Girl Stuff

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While Darcy was certain that the work the Scientific Trio were beaker-deep in was important, she hadn’t been able to make any sense of it even when fully caffeinated. A tome of math and improbable calculations, that her polysci degree hadn’t covered, made understanding what Betty and Jane had been doing in Helen’s lab for two solid weeks just out of Darcy’s grasp. Not to mention the other Science Stuff that only vaguely resembled past experience. So when she’d heard the crack of a portal, she did a little dance in her seat.

She stopped her shimmy when Sif appeared in the doorway, Thor behind her. Both of them covered in dirt and ash with a dash of blood here and there, armor tarnished, looking exhausted.

“Oh shit!’ Darcy said, standing and rushing over as Sif dropped her sword and shield. Sif met her halfway, wrapping strong arms around Darcy and squeezing tight, pulling back only to give Darcy a chaste kiss, then rest her forehead on Darcy’s.

Thor gave Darcy a nod and strode back to the lab to leave them to their reunion.

“Babe, hey,” Darcy soothed, stroking Sif’s arms where she could touch skin. “I’m here. You’re here now, where showers live, and cuddling. What happened?”

Sif shook her head, looking so sad for a second, muttering, “Ragnarok. Nothing more. It’s over.”

“Okay, baby, just as long as like a dragon or something else that would think I’m lunch hasn’t followed you home, we can worry about it later,” Darcy said, trying to get Sif to smile and hoping that dragons really weren’t on the table. Her eyebrows hadn’t been the same after the last time.

“I leave you alone in a cave once that just happens to have a dragon in it, and I never hear the end of it,” Sif rolled her eyes, lips curled into the slightest of smiles.

“Dude, I had no previous dragon training,” Darcy protested. “It wasn’t in your Camping Preparedness Speech.”

“I forget that not everyone has dragons. Midgard doesn’t have as many wonders as it could, but I have yet to see them all.”

“You are not going to introduce dragons into the wilds of Earth,” Darcy protested.

“You speak as if it did not have prior native species,” Sif teased.

“Now I’m afraid to go spelunking anywhere ever again.” Darcy moaned dramatically.

“Even if I were with you?” Sif asked, coy.

“Of course not. You are a warrior goddess. With weapons. Are you saying you want to go caving?” Darcy asked.

“Yes,” Sif hands stroked Darcy’s cheeks. “Maybe even see more of your home country. There’s a great deal I haven’t laid eyes on.”

“Even large balls of twine?” Darcy asked. It sounded like they were gonna go on a road trip. That was guaranteed to be the opposite of boring. Darcy could get behind this idea. There probably wouldn’t be any advanced math on their road trip either. Score.

“Even that, but,” Sif tilted Darcy’s chin toward her and kissed Darcy deeply. “But maybe I think I should start explorations a little closer. Cover terrain that I haven’t seen in awhile.”

“You want to touch my boobs! I’ve missed you touching my boobs!” Darcy crowed, triumphant, and jumped up and down a little to try to make them bounce.

“Indeed. If I may be forward, I’d like to do that right now in your shower,” Sif said, kissing her again, “preferably before Jane and Thor beat us there.”

“Well, we can’t have that.” Darcy pulled away enough to grab Sif’s hand and take off toward the residential quarters. She was about to get joyously laid. She’d just have to work on the cloud of sadness Sif brought back with her from Asgard later.


They made their way down through New England, not bothering to stop in Gotham for more than pizza. When Sif asked why they wouldn’t be exploring the ‘City with The Batman,’ Darcy replied, “Because if we stop here, you’ll feel like you need to fight evil. And there’s a shitload of evil in that city. The Bat and the Robins have it covered. We’ll never see the Grand Canyon if we take a tour because it will be six months of saving the day. We’ll just swing by Chicago on the way. It’s totally Gotham-lite.”

Sif had replied, “You think it would take me as long as six months to clean up that city? I’d say two, at most. One if I could call Diana.”

“Yeah, yeah. You are on first name basis with Wonder Woman. Of course. Badass warrior women gotta stick together and all that.” Darcy didn’t take her eyes from the road while trying her best not to frown.

“Is that the blush of jealousy on your cheeks? You need not. I’m yours. I can walk away from battle if you ask that of me,” Sif said, tone light, but something hidden underneath.

That gave Darcy pause. Other than making a dude in a bar apologize for talking shit at a girl three days ago, Sif hadn’t offered to do any hero-ing. Well, unless you counted helping that old lady cross the street, but that was just being nice.

Sif hadn’t even touched the case with her armor, sword and shield, instead opting to take their bags each time and shutting the trunk before Darcy could suggest she pick it up with the rest of their stuff. If Darcy had to guess, it was almost like Sif had given up hero-ing entirely. Which seemed extremely unlikel. Lady Sif, Goddess Warrior of Asgard, wouldn’t just put down her sword. Would she?

Well, that just wouldn’t do.

“And never see your thighs in that get-up of yours again?” Darcy joked, then seriously as she reached out and took Sif’s hand, “But if you want a break, how ever long that is? You can. It doesn’t have to be about me. I know your heart, Lady Sif of Asgard. You were born a badass with a good soul, whether that means you wield a sword or you’re wearing jeans and getting a kitten out of a tree.”

“If that is what my lady wishes,” Sif inclined her head, the smallest of smiles tucked into the corners of her mouth.

“It is,” Darcy said, glancing over at her and giving her a smile. “That, and for you to be a better dj. You’re seriously slacking on me over there, co-pilot.”

“Forgive my lapse, for I thought we had heard all the ‘booty-shaking’ songs you had in your phone,” Sif said wryly.

“Oh honey, you have seriously underestimated my massive collection,” Darcy grinned. “But we can change genres since you seem to be bored with it.”

“I’ve had my fill with music that lacks imagination when describing a woman’s traits to, as you say, a ‘sick beat.’”

“Party pooper,” Darcy stuck her tongue out.

“Your maturity shows no bounds.” Sif giggled.

“I am dignity and grace,” Darcy agreed serenely.


After seeing the World’s Largest Ball of Twine, stopping by a couple state fairs to have different varieties of food on a stick, and eating their weight in roasted corn on the cob, Darcy was having an internal debate.

“You should only have that countenance if you are faced with the unholy choice of a fried Oreo or fried candy bar,” Sif said, bumping Darcy’s shoulder with her own.

“Hey, you said both of those were delicious!” Darcy grumbled.

“Not as good as a roasted ear of corn dipped in mayonnaise, but we cannot have it all.” Sif joked.

“Not butter! Mayo! I can't believe you! If you weren't so smart and pretty, I'd be more thorough in questioning your taste choices.”

“My alleged questionable taste aside. Why do you hesitate? We've been at this rest area for half an hour,” Sif prompted.

“Well, you see,” Darcy started and gestured to the city on the horizon. “That is Star City and while it holds less potential trouble than Gotham, it still holds a great deal of trouble.”

“We are no stranger to trouble, Darcy Lewis of Midgard. You have even said that trouble is your middle name.” Sif observed.

“That's very true,” Darcy agreed. “But I was having an epic thumb war with a nine year old at the time so I don’t really know that it counts.”

“If I may speak plainly,” Sif inclined her head.

“Hit me,” Darcy said fighting the urge to kiss Sif’s neck.

“Really, the problem at hand is that you have a little bit of a crush on the one called Black Canary as well as the one called White Canary.” Sif said then smiled, coy, “Are you afraid I'll take on a bird’s name and fly off to join them?”

“Nah, I'm more afraid she is,” Darcy gestured at the blond woman walking toward them. “Well, like mostly. Besides, I don't think a leather body suit is really your style.”

“But one might show off my thighs better.” Sif pretended to consider it.

“Look, those jeans of yours drive me crazy enough,” Darcy fanned herself. “Stop teasing me with considerations of leather.”

“Well, I could have chosen a better time to approach,” the blonde said. “I see that now.”

“Honey, you’ve been on the news as a person of interest in the escape of several superheroes from a remote jail island,” Darcy said. “I’m surprised people are not actively pointing at you and calling the police.”

“Shall I remind you of the Midgardian ability to dismiss anything out of the ordinary, especially if it looks like danger?” Sif asked.

“Point,” Darcy allowed.

“I trust, as result of your subterfuge, Ms. Carter,” Sif added, “you’d like to join our convoy.”

“Yes, I’d very much like to at least get a couple states over,” she said. “And please. Call me Sharon.”

“Not going by any aliases?” Darcy lifted an eyebrow.

“Didn’t see much of a point, no.” Sharon shook her head.

“Badass. I respect that,” Darcy clapped her hands together. “So, how do you feel about vigilantes disguised as birds of prey?”

“I’m not averse,” she shrugged. “Why? You looking to make friends or get into a brawl?”

“Perhaps a little of both if we’re truly lucky,” Sif said with a grin.


Darcy hadn’t realized it, but bar stools were very useful and she could throw one much farther than she’d previously thought.

Also, one of her favorite memories would forever be the Green Arrow saying, with complete exasperation, “Please get your very lethal asses out of my city. We’ve met our badass women quota for the season.”

Which could only be topped by his very muscular and tall, dark drink of water, sidekick saying a somewhat stunned, “She’s an actual demi-goddess of war. With armor. AND a sword.”

The canaries were so great in real life. DAMN, like whoa. So great.


Sharon decided that her expertise would be best left in Central City when they passed through. Darcy was inclined to agree with her because what superhero in their right mind had a lair that people can just waltz into? So dangerous. Also, Dr. Snow was the cutest and she’d have liked to have kept Cisco as her own personal tech guru but superhero support networks were important and best left intact.

Nonetheless, making out in the car at various scenic places was back on the table since they were down a passenger and Darcy was thrilled. As a matter of fact, she was looking forward to kissing Sif against the backdrop of a sunset along the west coast. Maybe they’d drive all the way up the edge of California to Oregon. Maybe finally stop driving in Portland and be weird.

But to do that, they’d have to leave National City. On purpose. Which was going to be really hard because Supergirl was as amazing and wonderful as Darcy had suspected. Like a golden retriever puppy who just wanted to help! Darcy might be a little in love but she’d dare even Batman not to be charmed by this damn cute heroine.

“Dude! You can fly!?!” Darcy might have to admit that she shouted that. But flying. Like, through the air. On purpose. Fantastically. Freakin’ superheroes doing superhero stuff like flying. How was this her life.

“Yeah, do you wanna have a go? Like if that’s okay with your girlfriend. She can go next?” Supergirl asked, smiling cheerfully and then looking considerate. “Or maybe we could arm wrestle? Not you, Darcy, because I’m pretty sure tasers aren’t allowed with arm wrestling matches and I’ve been on this planet long enough that it would have come up.”

“I would be honored to test my strength against a fellow shield maiden,” Sif grinned and gave the slightest of bows.

Darcy might have to admit to being a little turned on right now. Might. Because when she woke up this morning she hadn’t known that she needed her girlfriend to arm wrestle with another space alien, but now that it was on the table she was SO ON BOARD.

“I’m so glad you want to because you threw that mugger way far and I haven’t had a good match since the Hulk was in town.” Supergirl smiled wistfully than worried and added, “But don’t tell Captain Rogers that. He might feel disappointed to find out that I wasn’t trying very hard to beat him, because he’s Captain America and just so nice.”

“He is like an actual slice of apple pie,” Darcy agreed sagely. “And just a good human. You’d probably win for nicest.”

Supergirl blushed and kicked the dirt a little, pleased and then looked excited.

“Speaking of pie, do you guys want to go have a piece after? Because I know the BEST place. Even Green Arrow likes it,” Supergirl said, hopeful look on her face.

“Absolutely,” Darcy said, matching her excitement. Look, Darcy was only human. If a crime-fighting, sweet, and cute as hell alien offered to take you to pie, you go have pie with that creature. Darcy might have to admit to having a type.

“Especially if they have blackberry. Those are currently in season and very delicious,” Sif stuck out her hand to shake.

“Of course they have blackberry,” Supergirl beamed.

Darcy wisely decided that this was the best road trip that anyone had had in the history of ever.