I woke up with a start. Tears ran down my face. What a horrible dream. Dimitri and I were together but he wasn't happy. I could tell in the dream that he regretted never being able to have children and build a real life with someone he could be happy with. I love him, but I would never want him to have to live like that. I want him to be happy, even if it's not with me. I knew what I had to do.
Tears still running down my cheeks, I got out of bed and walked towards the door. I slipped out quietly as to not wake anyone up. I walked to Dimitri's room and knocked on his door. He answered quickly looking very alert, but his bed had clearly been slept in showing he had probably just been fast asleep. He wrapped me in a hug when he saw me. He brushed my hair behind my ear and wiped the tears from my eyes. "What's the matter Roza?"
"I love you so much Dimitri," I cried. "That's why I have to let you go."
"What? What are you saying Roza?"
"You should take Tasha's offer. You will be happier with her. She can give you children. I can't. I know you want her and I just want you to be happy."
He looked hurt. Truly heartbroken. But I knew he would thank me later. "Roza...no. Do you even know what you are saying? I don't want Tasha. I love you. Don't you understand? I don't need children to be happy. All I need is to be with the one I love, and it's not Tasha. It's you. I love you, more than life itself."
I couldn't stop crying and I didn't want him to see me like this. I saw him leaning down to kiss me. I pulled away and rubbed my eyes. "I will always love you Dimitri." I choked out and ran away crying.
"Roza! Wait, don't go!" I could hear him shouting behind me but I ignored him and kept running. My heart shattered. My world shattered. I'd left the man I loved so that he could be happy with someone else. I might as well have shoved a silver stake through my own heart. It would have been much less painful.
I didn't understand what was happening. Why was she saying this? She couldn't be serious. I needed to snap her out of it. But how? I pulled her close and brought my lips down to kiss her. I could clearly see she wanted to but at the last second she pulled away. Her face was soaked in tears and she was trying so hard to hide them. "I will always love you Dimitri." she said through her tears as she ran off crying.
"Roza! Wait, don't go!" I shouted, but she just kept running. I ran after her but she was gone. It was too late. Why couldn't she know how much I love her? Why does she have to torture herself with worry. Doesn't she see I could never love anyone else? I knew she wouldn't listen to me right now so I had to try a different way. I looked at my watch. It was 4PM. Everyone would be asleep, but I had no other choice. I went downstairs and out the front door. I walked across campus to the Moroi dorm. I went up to Lissa's room and knocked on her door.
It took a couple minutes before she answered. "Dimitri?"
"Lissa, I need you to talk to Rose."
"What's the matter with Rose?"
"She...she left me. She has no idea how much I love her."
Lissa's mouth fell open. "Wait...what?!"
"I know it doesn't make any sense but I love Rose and I just can't lose her now. She thinks I would be happier with Tasha, but I don't want to be with Tasha. Please. You have to help me.
None of this made any sense. How could he love Rose? He's seven years older than her. Wasn't that illegal? I could see however that he was truly desperate. I couldn't say no. I could see he truly loved her, and it sounded like she loved him just the same. I didn't want her to be sad. She needed to be with someone who could get her mind off other things. Someone to help her forget about Mason. She deserved that. "I'll talk to her."
I could see he was grateful but he was still upset. Then something else crossed his face. He looked around me and shouted, "Get back to your own dorm room Mr. Ozera!"
I left Lissa hoping she could get Rose to listen. I was too upset to go back to my room so I went to the chapel. When I walked in I heard a very familiar sound. I walked over to the back pew and saw Rose laying there crying with her hands over her face. I went to sit down next to her and stroked her long beautiful hair. She looked up at me, her eyes so very red from crying so much. "Dimitri?"
"Roza, why did you run off like that? Do you know how much it hurts to hear what you said to me? I can tell you don't like it anymore than I do. Why are you doing this?"
"If I should stay, I would only be in your way. You can have a much better life without me. I don't want to hold you back."
"Hold me back?!" Was she serious? "Roza, you push me to be better. I am nothing without you. You have no idea how I felt when you disappeared in Idaho. I was scared to death. I thought I'd never see you again, and I had wasted all the time we'd had together. I don't want that to ever happen again. I need you Roza. Your wild, crazy, and you don't take crap from anyone. I love it. I love you. You complete me."