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Too Early For Bad Puns

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"Na, Tehn~zou—wake up."

Kakashi's voice was low but persistent and Tenzou stirred, drifting vaguely into consciousness. "...Nnh?"

"Apparently you're not the only mokuton user in Konoha after all."

"...What?" Tenzou shifted reluctantly and blinked, squinting blearily up at Kakashi in the dimness, fuzzy-minded and barely awake. Their ANBU squad had returned from a lengthy and grueling recon mission late last night; he knew Kakashi tended to be keyed-up and sleepless on leftover adrenaline directly after such assignments but Tenzou, in contrast, had a tendency to crash hard. Sunrise was still half an hour away; they'd only gone to bed a couple of hours before and Tenzou needed to be dead to the world for at least another three before he could hope to keep up with Kakashi's cryptic cheer.

Predictably, Kakashi sounded fully alert and decidedly smug. "It looks like I can use mokuton as well."

Tenzou scrubbed at one eye, waking up further despite himself. "...Wait. You mean—" he kept talking through a jaw-cracking yawn "—you were able to copy my jutsu?"

"Mmnope, no sharingan involved." Kakashi moved suddenly, pushing Tenzou onto his back and rolling on top of him underneath the sheets. They both slept naked, and something hard and unmistakable pressed hot against the crease of Tenzou's hip. "But you can see for yourself," Kakashi purred, "that I've clearly managed to sprout some wood of my own overnight."

Unable to quite believe that his senpai had woken him up at such an ungodly hour after minimal sleep just for bad puns and sex, Tenzou simply stared.

"I'll need the guidance of an experienced mokuton user to learn proper control, though." Kakashi's tone, still low and warm, took a turn into flirtatious. "You'll show me the best way to achieve a proper Wood Release technique, won't you, Tehn~zou?" He gave a little thrust for emphasis and pushed up astride Tenzou's thighs, hands planted on either side of Tenzou's ribs, clearly waiting for some kind of response.

Tenzou groped for Kakashi's pillow and clocked him hard aside the head with it.

It was way, way too early for this.