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Please Say You'll Kiss Me

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There you are in your band t-shirt, looking as nervous as I feel. But when you spot me your face lights up and I forget everything but the colour of your eyes, the shape of your smile and the way the weak winter sun gives your long, black hair red highlights. God, you're beautiful.

****

You're wearing a red hoodie today, the one you were wearing the first time I noticed you. I love it, the way it highlights your paleness but adds depth to your eyes. I can't help the goofy smile on my face when I see you or the way my heart speeds up when you grin at me. This is it, our first official date.

****

It hasn't been easy, no doubt about it. Learning to read your body language, picking up a few hand signals, has been a bit hit and miss but we manage somehow. It helps that you carry a little pad in your pocket, writing down anything I can’t get. That’s how it got to this point. Our first date. A movie, popcorn, a little hand holding… Perfect.

****

You wave me over, chattering excitedly about this movie, a horror that we both have been waiting for.

“Hey, Derek,” you beam, bouncing lightly on the balls of your feet. You told me that your ADHD means you find it hard to ever be really still. It doesn’t bother me, though. Your constant movement balances out my stillness, my silence filled by your noise. It’s wonderful.

****

Sitting in the dark with you is a delicious torture. I can see your outline but that’s all. I don’t know if you want to say something, to comment on the movie or ask to leave. But the touch of your hand on my arm is like fire, instantly jolting my attention to you. You point at the screen, I see the whites of your eyes as you roll them and a flash of your teeth as you smile. I instantly understand. This movie is not as good as it sounded and I’m about to suggest we leave, when your fingers slide between mine.

****

I can’t resist the urge to hold your hand, to feel your long fingers against my own. You look surprised when I take your hand but then you blush so hard I can see it even in the dark. You’re so cute! We sit through the rest of the awful film and fall out of the theatre, you laughing loudly, me silently. You take my hand a little shyly, asking if I want to go for a walk before we go our separate ways. I nod eagerly. Any excuse to spend more time with you.

****

We stroll down the street, hand in hand, pausing every once and a while when you point to something and gesture rapidly. If I get lost, you write it down in your strong, neat handwriting, showing me the gestures that go with the words so I’ll understand in future. That makes me happy and I feel another red hot blush colouring my cheeks. You tug my hand, catching my eye with your huge green ones. You press a hand to your chest then your lips then wave it at me. Are you…? Oh!

****

I want to kiss you so much that I swallow my nerves and tug your hand. Oh, I wish I could just ask you, just open my mouth and say;

“Stiles, can I kiss you?”

But my useless vocal cords let me down. So I use my hands to ask instead. You frown for a moment then your eyebrows go up, the fading blush roaring back into life.

“You want to kiss me?” you ask in a small voice. I nod eagerly, reaching out to touch your cheek.

“Yes…Yes please,” you smile, your own hand coming up to cover mine.

****

The grin on your face takes my breath away and I feel my nervousness melt away. You move forward, pressing your lips to mine in the sweetest, softest kiss I have ever seen or felt in my life. Kissing you is like heaven. You taste like dark wine, moonlight and summer nights. It’s a taste I could easily get addicted too.

****

Oh, your lips! So soft and full and just as lovely as I knew they would be. Summer berries, sunshine, cotton candy, heaven…So many words to describe you and I can’t give voice to one. I pull back after a few moments, breathless from the perfection, face flushed, palms sweaty. You smile at me, so bright I have to blink.

“If you’re not busy tomorrow, do you want to go out again?”

****

I bite my lip, worried I’ve pushed too far, too fast. But you just smile back, nodding empathically. You point to yourself then your heart then hold up two fingers.

“You’d love to?” I guess, laughing when you nod again. It’s not always easy; gestures, pads, confusion but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because it means I get to kiss you again. And that is never not going to be worth it.