Philip Hamilton = Philip Hayler = Septhuitneuf
Frances Laurens = Frances Lewis = CinnamonCoffee
Theodosia Burr Alston = Theodora Parson = HaveMyMothersName
Georges Washington Lafayette = George W. Lance = LancelLuck
Martha “Patsy” Jefferson = Martha Randolph = WhoaPatsy
LancelLuck: So… My namesake has reincarnated and is running for president.
CinnamonCoffee: What, Washington’s back?
LancelLuck: Yeah, check Twitter.
HaveMyMothersName: Shit! Shit! Christ Shit!
CinnamonCoffee: What is it, Theo?
HaveMyMothersName: My Dad is BACK, and so is Alexander Freaking Hamilton.
CinnamonCoffee: Does Phil know?
LancelLuck: Apparently George Washington as well. And Thomas Jefferson.
HaveMyMothersName: Asshole, and I don’t know… Why do you ask Fan?
CinnamonCoffee: No reason. Just curious.
LancelLuck: Can you see his face when he realizes that his dad is back and his mom?
HaveMyMothersName: He’ll be all over the place.
Septhuitneuf: MY PARENTS ARE HERE!
HaveMyMothersName: At school or the Hamiltons?
Septhuitneuf: The Hamiltons! Both of them! And Aunt Angelica and Aunt Peggy!
CinnamonCoffee: Anyone else?
Septhuitneuf: Based on my dad’s twitter… All of us have our fathers back. Theo and I are the only ones with our mothers though. Jefferson and Madison came back as well. As well as possibly Maria Reynolds… but I really hope it isn’t.
LancelLuck: Dad’s probably sweet on Gwash still.
Septhuitneuf: Well you were named for him… He idolized the man.
LancelLuck: More than idolized… They had sex.
CinnamonCoffee: Your pere and George Washington had sex? How do you know?
LancelLuck: I… May have walked in on them at one point… And saw my mother doing Martha Washington.
Septhuitneuf: I… could have done without knowing that…
LancelLuck: Knowing what? That my dad and GWash did the do?
Septhuitneuf: That you walked in on your parents… having sex with other people… at the same time.
CinnamonCoffee: Though I wouldn’t have minded walking in on our dads Phil.
Septhuitneuf: They were just friends… You’re reading too much into the letters.
CinnamonCoffee: Like the one where your dad invited mine to witness the ‘final consummation’ aka “Have a threesome with my new wife and I?”
Septhuitneuf: … Not touching that.
WhoaPatsy: Ugh, I swear, Professor Smith knows what he’s talking about. But He really should have taught history instead of Vinticulture. Keeps bringing up your dad. Oh, He mentioned that your parents are all apparently back.
HaveMyMothersName: Yours too. Adams is still kevetching about Alexander Hamilton while discussing wine?
WhoaPatsy: Not as much today, thankfully. But today’s subject was his grumbling about how my dad predeceased him, and then returned after he did.
Septhuitneuf: I’m glad I haven’t taken any of his classes.
CinnamonCoffee: Same. He’s still a hard ass.
WhoaPatsy: And he hates it when people shove off work with poorly discussed students.
CinnamonCoffee: I’ve heard the rumors. Apparently Ben. Franklin is the only one who can get him to calm a little… Besides his wife.
Septhuitneuf: Only through strength of personality.
WhoaPatsy: Again, very accurate. So, what did I miss?
CinnamonCoffee: Oh, we were discussing George’s parents having fucked the Washingtons.
WhoaPatsy: And Phil is still in denial that your father’s banged?
Septhuitneuf: There’s no solid evidence proving that!
WhoaPatsy: Having seen the portriats of your fathers… I would gladly have watched that.
LancelLuck: Same… if Phil’s Mom was involved.
Septhuitneuf: Guys! Don’t make my mind think like that.