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Singing softly to me

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Eirik smiles as he sees his friend play. He can see how Erlend gives his whole soul to the music, that’s how he loves him. He knows that for Erlend writing songs is most important and it’s so visible when he sings them. This show is not different from any other but it makes Eirik think about their life together. They met in primary school. Erlend was so shy, so insecure, and Eirik was the popular kid.

Little kids playing in the park downtown.
Someone’s dad is watching
from the side of the ground.

Eirik was the dream child of every parent. He started off wonderfully in school, never caused any trouble, the teachers loved him. He was very creative.  At the young age many boys already start going though the rebel phase, especially if other kids like them. The peer pressure is getting to them, and they start off vicious. Or they could be like Erlend, too shy to really talk to anyone. He was not tormented, nobody even ever noticed him but he didn’t mind, his own fantasy world was way better anyway.

But Eirik did notice him. He’d always see him sitting by himself doodling something in his notebook, and he always though there was something more to him. By that he showed an incredible level of sensitivity for an 11 year old. That one day Eirik decided to finally approach Erlend.

How come no-one told me
All throughout history
The loneliest people
Were the ones who always spoke the truth
The ones who made a difference
By withstanding the indifference
I guess it's up to me now
Should I take that risk or just smile?

‘Hi. You’re Erlend, right? I’m Eirik, it’s nice to meet you.’ He said as he put up his hand to Erlend. The boy was so surprised, normally most of the kids only talk to him when they want his to pass them ball or give an answer in math class. This time he believed it was different, so he just put himself out there.

‘So what are you doing?’

‘Just some doodles, not a big deal.’ Erlend way always so self conscious about what he did, he thought no one would understand.

‘Everything is a big deal. Art is important. I write songs… well they’re not exactly songs. Melodies for now but some there will be more. You’ll see. Well, that’s my dad’s car waiting for me now. See you Monday.’

It was a strange first talk but things kind of escalated from there. From now on Erlend wasn’t lonely anymore.

Though Eirik and Erlend were friends now it would always be just the two of them, not like Eirik usually liked, simply being surrounded by others. The friendship worked in the way Erlend wanted.

It was funny for Eirik to think about it after all those years. That quiet boy in glasses changed him so much, made him stop and think for a while, and he helped him develop his music, take it to another level. He will never forget about it, forever being grateful. Every piece of a song that Eirik wrote was really Erlends, he could see that now, at that one show, more clearly than ever. They smile at each other as they play.

I don't know what's happening, help me
I don't normally beg for assistance
I rely on my own eyes to see
but right now they make no sense to me
right now you make no sense to me.

~~~

 

It was hot and sunny afternoon. They were 15 and having a joyful summer vacation. They would sit in the shade of trees in the garden all day long. Eirik playing guitar and Erlend writing or drawing. Two young boys thinking the whole world is already theirs.

‘Come here I want to show you something’ Eirik was surprised. There were not many times Erlend would share his work with him. Also, usually it would just be some quick doodle he made, nothing quite like this.

‘It’s a song.’ Eirik was amazed. ‘Amazing too.’

‘I like how you figured that out since there’s no music, just words.’

‘I can recognize a song when I see one thank you very much.’

‘It’s for the melody you’re composing. Play it.’

There are very many things
I would like to say to you
But I've lost my way
And I've lost my words

There are very many places
I would like to go
But I can't find the key
To open my door

The weight of my words
You can't feel it anymore
The weight of my words
You can't feel it anymore

There are very many ways
I would like to break the spell
You've cast upon me.

‘It’s perfect.’

Eirik could never forget that very first song they made together and the first time they sang it. It was absolutely his favourite song ever.

Erlend looked amazing while he played and Eirik wondered how come he’d never seen that before. His eyes closed, his whole body moving in the rhythm, the most beautiful sight. Erlend looked at him, he caught his glance. Eirik looked the other way. Somehow he was scared, his heart pounding. Something has changed, he had never felt that way before. After few seconds Eirik came to his senses and looked up again, after all there was no point in hiding from someone who knows you better than you do yourself.

~~~

 

Failure is always the best way to learn,
retracing your steps 'til you know,
have no fear your wounds will heal.
I wish I could travel overground
to where all you hear is water sounds,
lush as the wind upon a tree.
I wish I could travel overground
to where all you hear is water sounds,
to capture and keep inside of me.
Failure is always the best way to learn,
retracing your steps 'til you know,
have no fear your wounds will heal.

It was the song that broke Eirik’s heart.

‘What happened to you?’ Erlend was worried. Eirik would just turn up at his door all wet, which though might not have been a huge surprise itself since it was raining cats and dogs for days, all together with his clearly cloudy mood was strange. Eirik was the calm one, always sane and now he looked like he’s about to collapse.

After a few moments of fast pacing around the room Eirik suddenly stopped and Erlend had already made tea.

‘it’s over. I screwed up and now it’s all over.’ he just broke with those words. ‘I know it’s a cliché and I know I’m just 22 and that was my first real relationship but I just thought it wouldn’t end so…stupidly!’

It was stupid. They were together for 2 years and the thing that ended it was the idea of moving to another city for 6 months. Eirik’s first instinct was to say ‘no’ and like that it got ugly. No reasonable talking, no thinking, just pure fight. After a week Eirik was dumped, wet and angry. Erlend would later like to remind Eirik his stupid behaviour and laugh at him but he knew that first he would need something else – space but with knowledge that there’s always someone there to talk to. So Eirik spend another 3 days at Erlend’s apartment.

The first night he woke up to hear a new melody, of course that’s how he would escape reality. Later Erlend tried to sleep, but there was an idea that wouldn’t let him, so he wrote it down and went to Eirik. In that one night ‘Failure’ was finished, and in another few days they created 4 more songs.

Erlend was amazing at that time. He just knew what Eirik needed, and gave it to him. Never asking any questions just being there for his friend...

~~~

 

I didn't know you then, now did I girl?
I couldn't hear you singing softly to me,
singing softly to me.
And now I find
it was you all the time.
I'm in love again,
it's too late now...

This time it might not be too late.

The show was over and Eirik was left with head full of thoughts, or more like it, questions.

Never before he saw Erlend in a romantic way…They would always laugh when someone suggested that they’re a couple… And was is even possible to be blind for that long?

Every one of the questions rushing through Eirik’s head remained unanswered forever. Soon after he got himself outside Erlend followed him.

 ‘Why are you sitting here all alone? Oh god you’re not having one of yours melancholy moments are you? These can go on for weeks and it’s exhausting.’

It was the only time he could say a thing like that. Erlend had some drinks, and probably thought Eirik did too, so he could always say it was a drunk talk. Also, it was dark, so he would never have to see Erlend’s face. He used all the courage he got (which at that point was none at all) to say those words.

‘I think I love you.’ – A voice said to Eirik.

‘Er…Erlend?’

‘I know it sound stupid and strange but I felt this way for a long time now…’

'Well, you stole my moment! That was for me to say.’

At that point Erlend was confused at least but he came closer to his friend, Eirik also got that idea and even took the initiative when he kissed Erlend.

‘I love you too.’

It was dark. He couldn’t see Erlend’s face.                                                                                                                     

 

FIN.