"This isn't really how I expected space to be," Clint said, leaning against the wall of the elevator.
"What, like, space stations only have stairs?" Bucky asked.
"Well, I mean, I figure if someone's got the chops to build a space station so large it NEEDS elevators, the elevators should work," Clint pointed out. "Elevators breaking on a space station makes me nervous about how well the rest of this place is put together."
"I figure as long as they focused on the real issues like keeping oxygen on the inside and space on the outside, we're fine," Bucky said. "So do you want me to rip the doors open or what?"
"What if whatever is outside the broken elevator is worse?" Clint asked. "We don't know why the elevator is stopped between floors."
"The aliens did sound reassuring when they talked at us over the intercom," Bucky said.
"It would help if we could speak the language," Clint sighed. "I didn't take extraterrestrial linguistics in high school before I dropped out."
"I barely passed English," Bucky said.
Clint flopped down to the floor of the elevator, leaning up against one wall. "At least we don't have to pee. Do you have to pee?"
"I didn't until you suggested it," Bucky growled.
"The magic of me," Clint said with a sunny smile. Bucky sat across from him, ankles knocking against his in the tiny elevator. "Ever been stuck in an elevator before?"
"Steve and me used to go to the department stores in Manhattan just to ride in ‘em," Bucky said. "Got thrown out of one, once."
Clint eyed him. "Steve?"
"He got into it with a fella who pinched a lady's behind. I had to punch the fella. We got banned from the store."
"Well, I've never been banned from a department store. At least not yet," Clint mused.
"We're not gonna put this in the mission report, right?" Bucky asked.
"Can you imagine how that would go?" Clint laughed. "Day two of visit escorting diplomatic party from Earth to the united galactic empires, became stuck in elevator during off-hours attempt to have a nice dinner. Made out with Bucky Barnes until rescued."
Bucky tilted an eyebrow. "That's prescient or ambitious, I'm not sure which."
"I figured it was an eventual foregone conclusion, and this really does read like the start of a softcore gay porn. Plus you have a thing for blonds, which I imagine improves my chances of at least cheap and meaningless fooling-around, if nothing more."
"I'm very good at cheap and meaningless. Elevator would be a new one, but I guess it's pretty much like a transport jeep," Bucky said thoughtfully. "More privacy, too."
"I take it back, this is exactly how I hoped space would be," Clint said, rubbing his hands. He knelt forward, crawling between Bucky's legs when he spread his knees, ending up looming over him with Bucky's legs around his hips. Bucky looked at him expectantly, almost boredly. "What's your fancy, juvenile delinquent?"
"It was one store we got thrown out of," Bucky said. "For that, anyway."
"Well, I'm pretty sure debauching an alien elevator is illegal, so we'll see how this goes," Clint said.
Which was when there was a roar of steel, and the edge of Captain America's shield poked through the seam of the doors.
Clint threw himself backwards, Bucky pulled his knees up to his chest, and by the time Steve Rogers had pried the door open enough to get his head through, they looked reasonably decent.
"It's a sad turn of events when I have to rescue my so-called bodyguards," Steve said, pushing the doors open the rest of the way with his bare hands.
"In our defense, extremely shoddy construction work. They should sue their builder," Clint said.
"Well, they hadn't counted on your aura of bad luck," Steve said, getting a hand down to grab Clint's. "Come on, Buck, boost him out and then I'll pull you out."
Clint very carefully did not make a noise when Bucky used the "boost" to cop a long and exploratory feel.
"Oh, I didn't mind getting stuck," Bucky said easily.