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Language:
English
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Published:
2013-03-21
Words:
690
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1/1
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Dial Tone

Summary:

ONE-SHOT: Based on the teaser of COHF. Alec keeps calling Magnus only to hang up when he answers. Malec.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Alec never realizes that he has developed an unhealthy habit.

That is until he finds himself clicking ‘cancel call’ icon on his phone for the umpteenth time and stares at the name being displayed on the screen.

Magnus Bane.

Call ended at 00.09 min.

He bites his lip and snaps his phone shut. He stands there, alone in his room, for a little while longer. It is quiet aside from the shuddering breath that Alec lets out of his throat. He catches his reflection in the mirror. He laughs almost bitterly.

God, he looks dead.

He looks at his phone again and flips it open. The screen lights up and Magnus’s name is displayed yet again. Alec’s finger hovers just above the call button. He wants to. But yet, he hesitates.

It is weird and equally frustrating to have this turmoil inside of him. He wants to hear Magnus’s voice again. He really does. And calling him is just the result of that simple wish. He waits in anticipation as the dial tone rings.

But-

“…hello?”

Hearing that voice also makes him sick. He feels as if the world is suddenly spinning and he could not breathe. The room suddenly feels claustrophobic. He feels like crying.

So he hangs up. Like he usually does.

He stumbles ungracefully onto his bed and closes his eyes. His phone dangles awkwardly from his hand and the screen lights up for a second before dimming again. The ticking of the clock suddenly seems too loud for Alec’s ears.

It is frustrating to feel so scared like he feels right now. He feels so conflicted and confused and-

“I’m a goddammed shadowhunter, for god’s sake,” Alec murmurs tiredly, “Feeling like this is unbecoming of me.”

He looks at his phone yet again, his eyes unreadable as he reads Magnus’s name. His picture is also displayed. Actually, it is the picture of the two of them. They were in Venice and sitting in the gondola. Magnus has a silly grin on his face as he wraps an arm around an embarrassed-looking Alec.

They look happy.

Alec hears a choking sound-a strange, strangled sort of sound- and it takes him a full minute to realize that it is him. His vision blurs and when he wipes his eyes, he could feel something moist running down his cheeks.

He hates crying. But right now, it feels as if he could not stop his tears. It is like a dam has been broken. God, it is embarrassing.

He cries and cries and cries, muffling his sobs with a pillow but otherwise doing nothing to stop his upcoming hysteria. With each sob, he could feel the pain that comes with it, as if it has been waiting to be set free. Strange.

How could his pain be trapped when he feels it all the time?

It takes him about ten minutes, maybe fifteen, he is not quite sure, until he calms down. He wipes his eyes one last time and spends time staring at the ceiling. He hears something and glances towards the window.

It is raining. How terribly ironic.

His phone vibrates and he nearly jumps out of his skin. He looks at it hurriedly and sees that he has received a message. He does not recognize the number and he furrows his brow. Cautiously, he opens the message.

Please don’t do this to yourself.

And if Alec has to be honest, he feels like crying again.

“I will always love you.”

The words that sound like a promise. A promise to never let go, stay close, stay by his side and-

A promise that is delivered right before yes, he does leave him in the end. Leave him alone in the dark, both literally and figuratively.

How bitterly ironic.

“Stop…joking around,” Alec says harshly to himself, “Stop…telling me what to do.”

Stop making me feel like this. It hurts, you know.

What is wrong with you?

Minutes pass by silently.

The screen of his phone lights up again.

Calling Magnus Bane…

“…Alec.”

The dull sound of the dial tone that follows sounds loud and accusing.

Notes:

I miss Malec.
Enough said.