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“Kylo Ren,” Leia says, resolutely. “Absolutely does not have a trifurcate dick. Trust me on this.”
In which everyone on board the Finalizer hate-ships Hux and Ren - and Ren's mysterious, probably prehensile, alien dick. Hard.
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omg this is the funniest thing everrrrrrrrr
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Hilarious!!
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so funny
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MAY I NEVER FUCKING LOSE THIS AND TAKE THREE HOURS TO FIND IT BECAUSE I GOT NOSTALGIC ABOUT THE TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW UNBETA’D THE RPF IS AND MY FACE TWITCHED FOR HALF AN HOUR AGAIN
FUCKING CLASSIC TRAINWRECK I LOVE
THIS ISN’T COMING OUT COMPLIMENTARY ENOUGH BUT LISTEN,
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ahahahaha
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“He looks down at me as I take his mighty length into my mouth – mighty length, this is flattering and extremely creepy.” Hux makes a face at his holopad screen, then resolutely keeps scrolling.“He cock throbs – shouldn’t this be ‘his cock’? He is so thick and long, I can only get the tip of it into me –”
“You wish,” Kylo snorts. Amazing how he suddenly stopped ignoring Hux’s efforts at dramatic reading as soon as he gets the chance to throw in a snide remark.
“Do not interrupt me, Kylo,” he says, briskly. “As I was saying – He is full of precum… how can anyone be full of precum, it comes out, doesn’t go in? I feel the…” Hux pauses, coughs discretely into his hands. “I feel the sweet taste of it all over the root of my mouth –”
“You wish, Hux.”