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A Third Way

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A D.Gray-Man vignette. Rated mature for language and sex. A bit of cracky closure.


The Holy War was dragging on forever, and people were falling like flies on both sides. Then Allen turned out to be hosting a Noah, the Church got all uppity about it, Kanda lost Alma again, Krory got hooked on demon blood so he didn’t want all the akuma to be killed in case he wanted a snack, Lenalee tried hard to convince Komui to defect, and Cross Marian had enough.

There was a third way. He and Nea had tried it before.

On the Noah side, half of the group was dead. The Earl was completely insane, sitting in his rocking chair, compulsively petting Lulu Bell in her cat form, and talking to ghosts. He was no longer a factor in the war. Sheril agreed to stay out of it, and Wisely was out of it by nature. Nea was space-sharing a body with his idiot apprentice. Tyki Mikk and Road Kamelot were left hanging with no one to give them orders. This didn’t bother Tyki, but Road was bored… and stalking Allen.

The Black Order was in disarray, with very few Exorcists and only one accepted General left – and Cross could totally handle Kloud. Or she could handle him. Or they could handle each other. It worked any way, and would be a lot of fun.

He snickered, then shook his head.

The Vatican had come down hard on too many of the surviving Exorcists, and loyalties were divided all over the place. Lenalee, Kanda, and Reever dragged Komui away from the Church before they all got put under execution orders, while Bak was stuck in China trying to fend off the Central Office. It was only a matter of time before he lost his rag and slaughtered some people… and got chucked out with the rest of them.

Bookman had retired to Korea, looking for a break from all the wars – that decision would be put to the test in the next century. Lavi followed Kanda, because it was funny, and to take notes, so Bookman didn’t kick his ass for not doing his homework.

The time was ripe – again – to find a third way. And this time, Cross Marion would make it stick.

If it didn’t…

Well, there were still a few nunneries in the world he could convert into harems, and surely some of them were next door to a brewery.


The surprisingly gorgeous, oddly feminine master swordsman of the Black Order was staring at him. Tyki flashed him a smile, full of fangs. “See something you like, master swo-mmph!?“

By the time he got to the ‘o’ sound in Swordsman, he had a tongue in his mouth.

It wasn’t just his sword that Kanda Yu had a ‘way’ with. Somewhere in the background he heard Allen’s confused voice.

“What are they doing?”

That delicious tongue withdrew, and Tyki sighed in disappointment.


The swordsman’s voice was deep and husky. The sound of it shot straight to his groin. This hadn’t happened in… this had never happened.

How had he missed out on THIS?

“If you don’t know, have Lenalee give you the Talk,” Kanda growled over his shoulder, then, wonder of wonders, the tongue was back.

Tyki gave up thinking and took up groping.


“The talk? What talk?” Allen only whined a little, really.

“Well, Allen-kun, when a boy and a girl,” she gestured toward Road then him, “or a girl and a girl,” she waved in the general direction of Lulubell and her devoted manicurist, happily clipping the cat’s claws, “or a boy and a boy,” she beamed at Kanda, who was wrapped around Tyki like a blanket, “find one another attractive, they can do a number of things. They can kiss.” She nodded at Kanda and Tyki.

Tyki’s hands were now wrapped around Kanda’s ass, either to support him or to squeeze him, maybe both. Allen cocked his head to one side. Kanda didn’t appear to mind. Neither did Tyki, if the sounds he was making were to be believed.

The last time Allen heard moans like that, they were coming from himself, when he’d just eaten an eight course meal and was actually full for once. Maybe he was eating Kanda’s tongue? Although if that were the case, wouldn’t Kanda be trying to get away?

Because he wasn’t. He really, really wasn’t. He looked like he was trying to mimic Tyki’s skill and phase right into his skin with him.

He tuned back in to Lenalee, who was still staring at Kanda and Tyki while giving him some Talk.

“They could court, which is like dating, where you get to know each other and go out to dinner and stuff. Or they could rip each other’s clothes off and fuck, just skip everything else and go right to the sex. Although nudity is optional, and it’s kind of hot when you’re still half-dressed. Plus cravats are really good for tying people up.”

Behind him, Lavi was choking, or snickering, Allen couldn’t tell which. This whole afternoon was confusing. Krory was sighing in a romantic fashion about Eliade, and Road was laughing her ass off.

One of Tyki’s hands was inching down inside the back of Kanda’s pants.

“I don’t want to see them fuck,” Allen admitted.

“I do,” Lenalee chirped. She was now staring intently between the hand Kanda had buried in the hair at the nape of Tyki’s neck, the mouths working against one another, and the hand Tyki had sliding down Kanda’s ass.

“Does your brother know you’re a complete pervert?” Lavi rasped, his voice an octave higher than normal.

“I don’t think so,” Lenalee mused, “or he’d have a stroke.”

Road, of all people, finally took pity on Allen, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the room.

Of course, he didn’t get back out of her room with his virtue intact, but he’d spent enough time with Cross that she didn’t show him anything he hadn’t already seen.


Lenalee stared dreamily as Tyki stripped the tie from Kanda’s hair. It flowed like deep blue silk through Tyki’s free hand.

His other hand was going up, and down, and up, and down, and Kanda’s pants were sliding down his thighs.

Ooh, he didn’t wear drawers. Nice!

Kanda pulled back and took a deep breath of air, that came back out in a deep moan as Tyki took the chance to dive in and suck on his neck. Hmm, it appeared Kanda-kun had a bit of a neck weakness. Good thing he didn’t have any Akuma blood in him, or Krory would latch on and never let go.

Speaking of whom, Krory was beside her, panting lightly, eyes glazed over and drooling a little. He was muttering about Eliade, so she decided to ignore him and went back to staring at the pretty boys doing dirty things. How Krory got a blonde lady Akuma from a blue-haired Exorcist and a purple-haired Noah, she didn’t know. Maybe it was just all the pheremones fogging the air.

Her eyes slid up from the dark gray fingers probing between the pale buttocks, up the line of Kanda’s spine as he shuddered beneath that touch, past the slinky blue hair whipping around broad shoulders, and ran directly into Tyki’s heated eyes. They glowed like molten gold.

If she had an ounce of shame, she would have been embarrassed and left.

This was Lenalee. She beamed at him, gave him two thumbs-up, and settled in for a show.

Kanda would probably want to kill her when he realized he’d turned into an exhibitionist for her, but hopefully Tyki would have fucked him into exhaustion by then and she’d have a chance to escape.

Humor lit Tyki’s expression, and he grinned at her, then ducked his head and sucked at Kanda’s neck. There was a little biting. Kanda liked it.

As shown by the alacrity with which he wriggled out of his uniform without ever losing hold of his Noah.

Of course, his pants got caught on his boots, but Tyki put one foot on them, between Kanda’s ankles, and stepped down. With a sharp tearing sound, the pants were no longer an obstacle.

Then it just got… really steamy. Lenalee was very glad she didn’t wear glasses, because she didn’t want to miss a moment.

Her right hand snuck under her skirt, and her left hand drifted up to her breast.

Yum, yum, yum!


In a lab somewhere in Bohemia, Reever caught Komui as his boss/best friend/sometime fuck-buddy fell over in a dead faint.


Little sister must be getting some.

He was gonna get lucky tonight!

Or Komui was going to build a giant robot and he’d get stomped trying to stop it from rampaging through half of Europe.

He was hoping for sex.

He got the robot.

Damn big-brother insanity.


Kanda wasn’t sure what had prompted it. After killing Alma in self defence – again – he’d been swinging like a pendulum between being an Exorcist and being ex-communicated… or exterminated. He’d finally had enough, and decided both sides of the Holy War were full of shit. He would stay with Allen, or Nea, or Allen-Nea, and follow Cross Marian.

Allen was an idiot, but he was the best friend he had left since Noise died. Cross was… Cross, but he said he had a way out that didn’t follow the corrupt Church or the insane Earl. Kanda was willing to try.

He was sick of war. Sick of killing. And damned sick of constantly looking over his shoulder.

Komui helped, probably because Lenalee was as sick of the Order as Kanda was, and would no doubt be the next on the execution list. So he’d bugged out. Trailed by Lavi as seemed to be the case constantly these days – one day, he was going to kill the stupid bastard, if only to get him to shut up – he made his way along with Lenalee to Cross Marian’s side.

Which led to this parley, or peace negotiation, or revolt, or whatever the hell they were doing in a room with a handful of disillusioned Exorcists, a couple Noahs, a nutcase in a rocking chair petting a cat, whatever the hell Allen was, and Lavi.

He glared at the tall elegant bastard who had killed Yeegar, and Daisya, not that he was much of a loss. Of course, Kanda had killed Skin Bolic, and been part of the group that took out the creepy twins whose names he didn’t care to know.

So, yeah, war. Dead people on both sides. They were looking for peace, so he was going to have to let by-gones by by-gones, or it would never be over until they were all dead.

That thought ticked over in his brain as Cross drank, the Earl babbled, and the rest of them stared at each other. The glare he was leveling at Tyki Mikk gradually softened to an assessing stare.

There was something about him…

Maybe it was his previous memories, but he’d always had a soft spot for a handsome man with a wicked grin.

Not that anyone in the Order ever knew that.

Just one of so many secrets he kept.

Still. Here. Now. Even the gray skin wasn’t putting him off. Part of his brain – the feverish part he usually denied – was wondering what that skin would look like next to his own. If the Noah of Pleasure lived up to his name. Or if he was only interested in cannibal-butterflies.

Tyki took off his top hat. Balanced it on one hand. Smirked at him, and opened his mouth.

He had a voice like honey, just like his eyes.

Kanda was across the floor, one hand cupped around the back of Tyki Mikk’s head, the other arm wrapped around his waist, before he could finish the sentence.

The top hat hit the floor.

Neither of them noticed.

Other people talked and did other things.

Neither of them noticed that, either.

He tasted like spices from China and Portugal. He smelled like old books and smoke. His skin felt like warm soft cloth wrapping over marble. He had talented hands, and he knew what to do with them.

The bite of his sharp teeth against Kanda’s throat nearly made him come.

He needed to get laid more often.

Growling softly, he drew on all his considerable will power, and worked to get Tyki as nude as he was… not that rubbing his bare body against all that fine wool and linen and lace didn’t actually feel pretty damned good. Still, skin was better against skin.

He was an old-fashioned girl brain in a guy suit, and some things were just better when everybody was naked.

Then the world tilted. Ah, no. He was not going to be on the bottom, even if he was going to be the one taking it, so as much fun as it was to be pinned underneath that long, lean body, Kanda pulled a move he hadn’t used in much too long, and straddled Tyki beneath him.

Golden eyes grinned up at him. He smirked back.

Then they both paused long enough to actually strip Tyki’s clothes off.

Somewhere in the distance, Kanda thought he heard a girl laugh, but it wasn’t enough to penetrate the heat haze his brain was stewing in.

He didn’t have any lube, but he had complete command of his muscles… all his muscles… and with the right relaxation techniques, the burn when he was entered didn’t become a tear. It was just tight, really fucking tight, and holy hell but that felt good. Full. Hot.


He’d trained for hours each day for years, and his body had all the strength, mobility, and flexibility it required as a master swordsman, especially in his back, legs and flanks. That he could bend that training to riding the man below him into euphoria was an added bonus.

They were both panting, and the skin over Tyki’s cheeks was a darker gray, which looked oddly sexy. Their eyes were locked together as they moved, Kanda pushing down onto Tyki’s cock then lifting himself, to drop again, then repeat with variations in speed and timing and pausing and shifting, until neither one of them existed outside of each other.

Of course it couldn’t last, although it felt like it took forever, and was over much too soon. Kanda came first, as Tyki used those gifted hands on his cock to tease and stroke and twist until he broke. His body clamped down on Tyki’s, ass on cock and thighs against thighs, hands on shoulders and hips grinding into hips. He’d barely finished when Tyki surged up against him, hands digging into his hips to add even more bruises to those on his neck and his ass and his arms and his chest. Not that Kanda cared.

He was too busy folding over Tyki’s body like a lotus petal falling on water.


Cross stared at the floor show and tickled Lulu Bell under her fuzzy kitty chin. Maybe if she ever dragged herself away from the Earl’s lap he could coax her into changing into her human form and they could have some fun.

Chucking the empty wine bottle onto the pile behind him, he cracked open a new one.

What the hell. If she wasn’t in the mood, maybe the boys would be up for a threesome.


Lenalee sighed happily. Wiped her fingers on her skirt. Walked – well, staggered – over to the pretty, exhausted, sweaty boys. As she came to a stop beside them, Kanda’s hips gave a last wriggle, and Tyki’s cock slipped from his body. She watched with interest as a small trail of come followed.

So. Very. Pretty.

Tyki was absently stroking Kanda’s back, all tangled hair and trembling muscles. Kanda was cuddling Tyki unconsciously, head nuzzling into the smooth groove where his neck met his shoulder, hands curled around his shoulders. Their skin was drawing up in goosebumps as the heat between them cooled and the cold air in the room circulated over them.

Reaching down, she plucked up Tyki’s overcoat from the mangled mass of cloth that had been a formal suit and a uniform. Tyki gave her a tired wink in thanks as she draped it over them. She grinned back at him, then licked her lips and silently walked away.

She’d have to make sure she was here when they woke up – close enough to see all of those lovely naked bodies, but far enough away Kanda couldn’t wring her neck when he came back to reality and realized he had an audience.

It was definitely worth the risk. Maybe there’d be a second round?


Lavi took notes.

He couldn’t wait for Bookman to check THIS homework.