“I can't do this anymore.”
Hux didn't know what to do at first, when out of nowhere Ren had pushed him off the cock he had been sucking. They had been having a totally normal midday liaison and now Hux felt like a total fool. On his knees with wet, fucked-out lips, sweat sticking his hair to his face and Ren looking down on him like he had been bitten. Hux quickly replaced his confusion with anger, as he was want to do.
“Well, fine,” he hissed. “You were the one who cornered me in here, but if it is not to your satisfaction, you can go get off somewhere else. I have work to do anyway.”
Hux started to turn and exit, because he had to get out immediately. Not because he was hurt. Or feeling rejected. Just because he couldn't stand the sight of Ren if he wasn't being fucked by him. He had no other use, really.
“No, wait,” Ren said behind him, and he softly caught the sleeve of his jacket. It was this part that caught Hux's attention, because Ren did not do anything soft. Neither of them did. Their entire...arrangement had always been grabbing and pushing and pulling and biting and fucking. Half the time Ren never even took off that stupid helmet. He had today, though, and when Hux turned around, the expression on Ren's face took him off guard. It was warm. Nervous. It was like his touch.
“I didn't mean I couldn't do- this – anymore. I just meant- I meant I can't do it like this.”
“What are you talking about, Ren?” Hux felt his breath catch a little; he gave a nervous stumble over his words.
“I just want to try something different,” Ren said, so quietly it was almost difficult to hear him. “I want it to be like...” He stepped closer to Hux, and the hand on Hux's sleeve had somehow slipped to his waist without him noticing. “You're always so angry.”
“I'm not-” Hux didn't know what was happening. Could Ren really- no. They hated one another. This was just for release. Hux felt his face flush as the hand Ren had on him started to stroke up and down his side. “I'm not angry,” Hux said, and it was almost a whisper.
“So we can try it?” Ren said, and he was so close to Hux's face. They had never kissed before. It wasn't a part of what they had. Hux had thought of kissing Ren before, of course; he had such beautiful lips. It had never seemed appropriate. But now Ren was leaning his forehead against Hux's, eyes closed, almost swaying back and forth. They were just an inch apart.
“Yes,” Hux said. “Fine then. Let's try-”
He was cut off by Ren's kiss, gentle and warm and something unreal. His lips felt as lovely as they looked, and Hux allowed a moment to lose himself before pulling back. Ren looked displeased at the loss, and he dipped in for another kiss, but Hux avoided it.
“Let's go back to my quarters,” he said, not quite believing that he was saying it. “I want to have you in my bed.”
Ren smiled now, nodding enthusiastically It felt like the longest walk ever, Ren trailing a few feet behind him so as not to look too friendly. Hux felt more exposed than he ever had after any of their trysts. He tried to keep his composure, but he couldn't seem to help the smile that kept creeping onto his face, or the brisk, eager pace of his walk.
When the door finally shut behind him, Hux realized that he didn't know exactly what to do. Ren hovered shyly in the doorway, which seemed ridiculous for a man who just the week before had left handprint bruises all over Hux's hips and came all over his back.
“Should we undress?” Hux asked.
“Yes,” Ren said quickly. “But can I- can I undress you?”
Hux nodded, biting his lip, not knowing what to do with his hands as Ren fumbled nervously with the his jacket, the buttons of his shirt. He ended up letting them hang uselessly by his side, watching in surprise as Ren took every article of clothing and folded them with care. Soon he was fully naked, with Ren still fully dressed.
“I wouldn't even know where to begin with your clothing,” Hux said. “You'll have to-”
“Of course,” Ren said, and he was throwing his clothes off. The cowl, the robe, his boots. It wasn't until Ren had pulled off the last of it that Hux realized this was the first time they were seeing each other fully naked. They had been fucking for the last year, but always mostly clothed. He took in the full picture of Ren's body, as he knew Ren was doing with him. He was so damn perfect, fit to an almost unbelievable level, and Hux couldn't help but feel a little more than inadequate with his own physique.
But Ren was on him quickly, large hands flat against his back as he dropped light kisses on Hux's cheeks. “You're so beautiful,” he murmured. “I can't tell you how much I've- I've wanted this for so long. I thought you'd never have me like this.”
Hux could feel Ren hard against his stomach, cock pressed between them, as they both started backwards toward the bed. “In my bedside drawer,” Hux managed to get out. “Get it. Please.”
Almost reluctant to let go, Ren kept one hand in Hux's as he moved over to retrieve the lubricant from the drawer. When he came back, he leaned over Hux, full body pressed against him, and they kissed against. Hux could feel Ren smiling as he licked into his mouth, which caused him to smile in return. Embarrassed at his unrestrained joy, Hux rolled over onto his stomach and road out his smile with his face pressed into the pillow.
He listened as Ren poured lubricant into his hand and spread it over his fingers. He lightly pressed them against Hux's hole, kneading it, getting it slick.
“Are you ready?” Ren asked, and Hux mumbled out a yes. Ren started to ease two fingers inside of him, slowly pushing in up to the knuckle, and Hux let out a heaving breath at the intrusion.
“Is this okay?” Ren asked, and he was right next to Hux's face, pushing back sweat-soaked hair, kissing his neck. “How does it feel?”
“Nngh- feels good. It burns a little- feels good.” It did hurt, more than Hux had expected. He had been fucked by Ren's huge cock often enough that this shouldn't phase him, but something about the slow pace Ren was taking amplified everything. He wanted more, though- he had never been fucked by Ren lying down, in a bed. He rubbed his face into the soft sheets as Ren started to move, letting out quiet little moans as he was stretched open.
“Fuck, Brendol,” Ren said, and the unexpected sound of his first name caused Hux to let out a surprised moan. It caught him off guard how much he liked the sound of it. “Fuck, all I've wanted to do for the longest time is make you make noises like you're making now. You sound so fucking beautiful.” Ren began to pick up speed a bit, laying kisses on the back of Hux's neck as Hux started to rub his dick against the bed, desperate for friction.
“Need you,” he mumbled, drooling into the linens. “I need you inside me, Ren, I'm ready, get in me already.”
“One thing first,” Ren said, pulling his fingers back, taking all of that delicious pleasure and pain with him. Hux moaned unhappily, feeling empty. Then Ren took ahold of his arm and started to flip him over, until Hux was lying on his back, staring up at him. Messy hair framed his expressive face- pouty lips, wet eyes.
“You want me like this?” Hux asked, and yes, yes, please Ren, take me like this.
“Yes.” And Ren kissed him fiercely, almost knocked the breath out of him. He then grabbed more lubricant, quickly slicking up his cock, and lined it up with Hux's entrance.
Hux had been fucked by Ren before. Many, many times. The first push of Ren instead of him this time, however, filled him in a way he had never been filled before. He gasped, and his gasp was caught by Ren's mouth, coming down to kiss him again. It had never been like this, ever, not even the first time. He didn't want Ren to let go, didn't want him to stop moving inside of him.
“This is better,” said Ren pulling out slowly, then sliding back in, face buried in the crook of Hux's neck. “This is what I wanted, wanted you like this, wanted you to want me.”
“I've always wanted you,” Hux said, grabbing ahold of Ren's hair and pulling back lightly, just so that he could see his face. Dark eyes, wide and open, scared, happy, brimming with something that Hux was still to frightened to give a name to. “I've always wanted you, why do you think I kept coming back to you?”
They didn't speak again after that, just kissed quietly and desperately. Ren slid a hand in between them and began to jerk Hux off as he fucked into him, speed increasing as they both got close. Hux came first, spurting onto both of their chests, crying out against Ren's mouth as his orgasm overtook him.
Ren followed soon after, coming deep inside of him, and Hux wanted to hold on, not let this moment go. Ren seemed to feel the same, staying inside of Hux until he went flaccid. He pulled away reluctantly, and for a moment, they both did not know what to do. Normally they would button up their pants and be on their way. Nothing about this was normal, however.
“We'll both need showers,” Hux said, voice still in his hesitant, bedroom tone. Ren had tentatively shifted one arm around his waist. “We both can't leave here smelling like sex.”
“I don't want to leave,” Ren said, pushing his face into Hux's hair. “Want to stay here all day.”
So did Hux. He was afraid to leave this room, afraid to break this bubble and lose it for good. He couldn't go back to the way things were before. Not when this was infinitely more satisfying. Not when he might even-
“Come back tonight,” he said, turning to face Ren. “We can just get through this shift, and you can come back tonight.”
They did take more time than Hux expected, though, as showering turned out to be much harder with Ren pulling him into a kiss whenever he tried to wash his face or rinse out his conditioner. It was another hour and half before he found himself finally back out on the bridge, everything back in place and a kiss still lingering on his lips.