Ever since the death of his best friend, things had gone to hell, for Josh. He was all alone, Tyler was gone.
Walking into the studio with out Tyler was like, breathing with out air. It's been 3 months since the accident. He didn't know, if he should still keep going with out him. It felt pointless. He avoided the media ever since the fall. People kept asking if he was o.k. O.K,
how could he be O.K. HIS BEST FRIEND. BAND MATE. PLATONIC SOUL MATE. IS GONE FOREVER. But there was nothing he could do. It was now time to move on. He didn't know if he should keep going, it made him sad to see Tyler's beautiful work go to waste. He knew what he need to do. He would release the album. He had to do it. The people needed to hear his voice one last time. Most of the album was done, the vocals were all recorded. But there was one song that needed backup vocals. Should it be him. Someone else. Or should he just delete it of the album. NO, he needs to do this for Tyler. For his best friend. All his songs need to be in this album. “Goner” that's gonna be the name, just like of his previous songs. Tyler was a goner now, he needed to be remember. He started humming “You're a goner, you took your last breath, you're a goner, you took your last breath, I want to know you, once more” He started weeping at first but before he knew it he was balling his eyes out on the floor. He left earlier than expected, being alone in the studio only reminded him of how alone he was in the world.
Ever since the accident, Josh had been isolating himself a little, his close frens came to see him but hardly ever went outside. What afternoon, Brendon came to visit him, he had been one of the only people who was consistent with his visits, it made Josh feel good. “How’s the album going? Are you gonna go through with it?” Josh wasn't sure what to say, up to this point he was sure we wanted people to hear his songs once more but the more he advanced, the more he wasn't sure. “I don't know anymore” He said “I didn't get anything done last night, it's too painful, hearing his voice”. Brendon knew Josh well, he knew that when he was feeling down, hitting his drums as hard as he possibly could, until his knuckles bled, usually helped. “Why don't we go down to the studio, you can slam your drums, release some pain and maybe we'll get some work done on that album of yours, ok?”. Josh didn't have anything better to do so he agreed, know Brendon wouldn't stop until he knew Josh felt better. So, they headed down to the studio, at first, Josh was jamming out to the songs, releasing some stress… but then he started to think about Tyler, he envisioned him writing the song, singing it with his little smile… He stopped. Everything he just released, while drumming came rushing back into him violently. He fell to the floor.