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Vacation Blues

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Teresa Lisbon cradled her cell phone between her ear and her shoulder as she uncomfortably dragged the suitcase along behind her. She hadn’t been best pleased at the suggestion she took a vacation, especially as it had a certain Patrick Jane's grubby fingerprints all over it. A month ago, he had innocuously asked her when she had last had an actual vacation - one where she spent time relaxing, sightseeing, doing things for herself rather than spending time with her brothers or locking her front door and eating copious amounts of ice cream in front of a movie marathon. Naturally, she had told him it was none of his damn business how she spent her annual leave. However, when she received notice that she was to take a mandatory break, along with some less than subtle vouchers for hotels in Hawaii, she had known exactly who was responsible. Jane had gone straight over her head and to the brass. Somehow, he had convinced them that the rest and relaxation would do her good; that she would come back energized and enthusiastic. It would increase her productivity a thousand per cent, or something ridiculous like that.

Worse, Jane had actually insisted that he check up on her. Somehow, he had made her promise that she called him when she arrived at the airport, after she landed and when she reached her designated hotel. If her recall of these events hadn’t been crystal clear, then she would have seriously considered the idea that he had hypnotized her into doing as such. Instead, she knew it was her own fault. He'd hoodwinked her by saying he would go straight to her boss again if she didn't follow the exact orders to go relax and have a good time.

Silently, she cursed at herself. It wasn't that she was a workaholic; she was just very dedicated to her career. She liked to get stuff done. Lisbon had a social life; it just wasn't one she was happy to share with her coworkers. Somewhere along the line, they had crossed wires and become convinced that she was practically married to her job. And as a consequence, they believed she needed direct instructions in order to ensure that she recharged her batteries in an admittedly beautiful and secluded location.

“Yes, Jane, I'm here,” she sighed down the phone. “Yes, the hotel is beautiful and I'm just reaching my room now.”

“Good girl,” Jane answered back and Lisbon frowned.

She swore she could hear an echo somewhere. Grumbling, she dumped her suitcase down in front of room 23 - her designated suite for the duration of her stay. Then, she returned her attention straight back to Jane.

“Say that again,” she demanded.

“What, you really want me to say something that patronizing to you again?” he queried, clearly amused.

By the end of his statement, she had already pulled her cell phone away from her ear. However, she still caught the end of it and found herself staring at the door directly opposite her rooms. She knocked sharply on it precisely three times and waited patiently.

Sure enough, Jane himself eventually answered.

“Damn it, Jane!” she retorted, resisting the temptation to hit him square in the mouth. “Do you really think I cannot relax without you around?”

He opened his mouth to retort and she swiftly cut him off.

“No, I know I cannot relax with you around,” Lisbon corrected herself with frustration.

“Why not?” he asked, despite the fact he already knew the answer to that specific question.

“You wreak havoc wherever you go.”

She was relieved when he didn’t have the audacity to even pretend to be hurt by her statement. They both knew it was factually correct and there was more than enough evidence for her to back it up with; there was no point in arguing. However, that didn’t stop him from trying to deny it, even if he hadn’t been hurt by her observation.

“That's a little bit of an exaggeration.”

“I can't take you anywhere,” she said with a sigh.

“Yes you can. Twice, actually.”


“Once to actually go there, then a second time to apologize,” Jane interrupted with a grin.

“Haha, very funny,” she replied dryly. “Besides you never apologize.”

“I do!”

“Fine. You never apologize and actually mean it.”


“Don’t bother.”

Part of her was surprisingly irritated at the fact her vacation had been hi-jacked by a certain Patrick Jane. It had been so long since she had last been away properly. Once the irritation had died away, she had even begun to look forward to a solid two weeks of rest and relaxation. The rest of her was entirely unsurprised and figured that with him around, she couldn’t run the risk of actually getting bored. Jane never seemed capable of doing something normally; he always attracted trouble. Even so, she swiftly turned on her heels, stalked back to her suitcase and picked up the keys. Despite the fact that it hadn’t bothered her as much as it probably should have done so, she knew that Jane had been out of order to behave in this way. He was encroaching on her personal time when their boundaries between professionalism and not had become blurred enough as it was. Stalking her on holiday just seemed to have an innate sense of wrongness about it, but he either didn’t care or didn’t think it mattered.

She refused to believe there was any chance of it being serendipitous. This was Patrick Jane she was facing, after all.

He hurried out to join her in the hallway and Lisbon scowled. She placed her belongings back down on the top of her suitcase and turned to face him. At the very least, he could have given her the chance to settle down into her hotel suite before bothering her, surely? Lisbon shook her head. Of course not. She already knew that he had little to no reserves of patience left. It had probably driven him insane waiting, alone, in his hotel room, eagerly anticipating her arrival.

In his hands was a seemingly innocuous piece of paper, but Lisbon already knew that this was Jane she was dealing with. Nothing about him was harmless; not even the document in his hands. Somewhere, there was going to be a trick up his sleeve, she just knew it. The question was what?  She watched dubiously as he placed the piece of paper carefully over her suitcase and beckoned her to have a look.

“Can’t this wait?” she asked, annoyed at herself for the slight whine in her tone.

“But Lisbon, these excursions are meant to be fascinating and there’s only limited…“ he started.

“Right now, I really don’t care.”


“Jane,” Lisbon said again, her stubbornness immediately coming through. “Might I remind you that you were the one intent on my having a vacation? Well, let me enjoy it my way, okay?”

“Only if you get yourself out of ‘boss mode’, Teresa,” he answered back, grinning.

“You’re impossible.”

She was relieved that he had finally acquiesced and removed the pamphlet from her bags. Lisbon breathed a sigh of relief and picked up her keys once more. Her eyes didn’t leave Jane until he shut the door behind her. Then, she turned around and finally slotted the key into her room’s door. Slowly, she swung it open and took a step inside.

It was only a matter of seconds until she saw the dead body, neatly arranged on the bed.