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The Cutting Room Floor

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Fic: The Cutting Room Floor: Outtakes and Deleted Scenes ch1
Author: sheraiah
Rating: T
Disclaimer: If I owned anything besides the plot, I wouldn't be slaving away in retail.
Summary: Outtakes, deleted scenes and possibly the Gag reel from 'Out of Space and Time'.





“Aaaargh! Damned, effing.....” Darcy stomped through the common area on her way to the kitchen.


“What's wrong?”Bruce asked, lowering the periodical he was reading to peer over his glasses at her.


“I hate my hair,” she huffed, grabbing an iced coffee out of the refrigerator. “The party is in less than an hour and I can't get my hair to stay up, let alone get all the damned flowers to stay in it.”


“You are wearing flowers in your hair tonight?” Legolas asked. “I did not think that was...hmmm...a”


“Not usually, but this is a Halloween party so everyone gets to get their geek on. I'm going as a fairy.” She beamed and then frowned. “Maybe I should just be a sparkly vampire instead,” she groused.


“Real vampires only sparkle right before they explode,” Bruce deadpanned.


“Don't let Jane hear you say that,” Darcy cautioned. “Girl's a complete Twi-tard. Personally, I'm more a Buffy-type myself.” Bruce raised his fist and she fist-bumped him.


“Best episode: 'Once More With Feeling',” he said.


“Heard that.” She grinned at him. “Best road trip music ever.” He looked over his glasses again.


“I need a copy. I think the Other Guy stepped on mine.”


“You got it, Big Green.” She sighed. “I'm caffiened-up. Gonna go fight with my hair.”


“What are you trying to do with it?” Legolas asked.


“Put it in a bun and pin the flowers in it, I guess. I kind of suck at anything but ponytails.”


“You should braid it in a crown around your head and anchor the flowers to the braid,” he commented.


“Easy for you to say, Mr. 'I'm an elf so my hair is perfect',” she snarked, gesturing to the braids Legolas typically wore to keep his hair out of his face. “I can't do fancy braids on my own hair.”


“I might be persuaded to assist you,” the elf commented, a tolerant half-smile gracing his lips. She blinked, stopping mid-stride to stare at him.


“Name your price.”


“You have a cache of almond Snickers in your apartment.”


“How the hell did you..? Oh, never mind! You play spy games with the Wonder Twins. Fine, you can have half.”


“Done.” He grinned. “Go dress in your costume and bring your supplies for your hair back here.” She hurried off and Legolas hummed contentedly to himself. Bruce arched an eyebrow at him.


“You're good at that,” he commented. Legolas merely smiled.






The rest of the team and significant others arrived just as Legolas was placing the last of the flowers in Darcy's hair. The effect was very becoming. He had braided her hair into a crown around her head, using hairpins only to secure the very end of the braid, and then he wove the flowers into the braid, securing each with a single hairpin. When he finished, she shook her head. Everything held. Jumping up, she bounced over to a mirror.


“Oh, wow! Dude, you can have all my Snickers for this one!” She bounced back over, standing on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Elf-boy! You're the best!”


“Half was the agreed upon price and you are most welcome,” he said, chuckling. He held up her wings, helping her into them when she nodded. “You look lovely, little one.”


“Thanks to you,” she replied. “See what Legolas did.” She twirled in front of Jane.


“Very pretty,” Jane said obligingly.


“I think you just lost about 50% of your 'Man Cred' there, Legolas,” Tony said, smirking and twirling the braids hanging from his goatee.


“I am curious as to why you would think that an elf would have any interest in anything called 'Man Cred',” the elf shot back smoothly, returning the smirk in kind. “And that is a wonderful Jack Sparrow costume, Tony.”


“Thank you,” the billionaire said, bowing. The elf's gaze moved to Pepper and he grinned.


“Miss Swan, I presume?” Pepper laughed.


“I had a hard time deciding between this,” she gestured at her replica of Elizabeth Swan's battle gear from the third installment of the franchise, “and the red dress from the first movie.”


“This suits you,” Legolas said, inclining his head to her. “The red dress would not have done you justice.” He turned to Thor and Jane who were resplendent in a blue frock coat and white breeches and a stunning gold ball gown respectively. “I do not know what your costumes are, but you both look wonderful.”


“Thanks,” Jane said, flashing a bright smile. “We need to watch 'Beauty and the Beast' sometime soon. It's amazing.” Legolas then turned to look at Clint and Natasha. The archer was sporting a tail coat, cloak, hat and a white mask covering half of his face. Natasha wore a white corset, petticoat and white dressing gown and had covered her red hair with a long, curly, dark wig. The elf grinned.


“The Phantom of the Opera and Christine Daae,” he said, a hint of triumph in his voice.


“Very good, Elf-boy,” Clint said, his smirk visible on the side of his face not covered by the mask.


Steve stepped into view then, clad in black with a black coat, black hat, and a red bandanna covering the lower half of his face. Upon seeing him, Bruce grinned ear to ear.


“The Shadow! Steve, you look great!” The super soldier tugged the bandanna down, his grin as wide as Banner's.


“Thanks! I wasn't sure anyone would know who I was.”


“Steve, please. You're in the presence of some of the biggest geeks on the planet. No way we wouldn't recognize the character,” Darcy said, laughing. “You look awesome, by the way. You're rocking the look.”


“Thanks. So, um, are you,” he said, shifting from one foot to the other.


“And on that note, we need to make like a baby and head out,” Tony said, turning to Legolas. “Look, this is the one time we could probably sneak you in if you want to go. Costume party, good camouflage and all that.”


“No, thank you. I have never been overly fond of parties. Besides, Bruce is not going either. I will keep him company.” He glanced at Bruce. “Did you not mention that there was something you wished to watch?”


“Uh, yeah, there's a,” he cleared his throat, “'Monsterquest' marathon on Discovery tonight.”


“JARVIS, record that for me,” Tony said. Pepper shook her head, a look of fond exasperation on her face.







“Are you certain you do not mind missing the party?” Legolas asked, unwrapping an almond Snickers bar.


“Not at all,” Bruce stated emphatically. “Parties make the Other Guy twitchy. Besides, fringe 'science' is entertaining.”


“I do not understand this program. Why do they argue? Animals are very adept at hiding. Even elves might not encounter them if they truly wish to hide, particularly intelligent animals.”


“Well, that's the question, isn't it? I don't have an opinion on this one way or another; it's not my type of science. Although, given what I've seen over the last few years, I certainly wouldn't rule anything out.”


“Nor would I any longer,” Legolas agreed, biting into his candy bar. “Oh, I am going to miss chocolate once I return home!”