====> Dave: Initiate Lightning Round
“Alright…let’s see…” You pick yourself up and take a seat on the bed, making sure to keep a nice, platonic distance between you and Roxy, while John sits down right next to her. “I guess we’ll start at the top…what got all this started? Like, what caused you to give the poly thing a try?”
“Terezi, basically.” Roxy answers you pretty quickly. “Like…okay, it was a while after me and John got together, really, when Terezi really started getting her hate-mack on. That had been going on for a while, but then it started getting kinda intense, and John came to me and…uh…”
Roxy looked over to John, who gives a bit of a bashful blush before he continued, “Yeah, I…well, I guess I came to terms with the black romance thing a lot faster than I expected. I mean, Roxy was teasing me about our ‘beautiful hate’ for weeks, even after we got together. But when Terezi told me she wanted me to actually…y’know, try the whole kismesis thing, I was worried that it might hurt things with Roxy. So I went to see her and we just…talked about it.”
“He was pretty cute, all messed up inside and pouring his heart out and…” Roxy was smiling as she remembered the conversation, but trailed off after noticing the embarrassed look on John’s face. After a second, she chuckled and ruffled the boy’s hair as she continued, “Uh…yeah, I think you get it. Anyway, we talked about it and worked things out. I told Johnny that he should go and try to fill his other quadrants, even if it came to sex and all that, and I’d be fine with it. And he said that if I ever wanted to do the same, he’d understand as well. So John started hate-dating Terezi, and every now and then he’d come home with a whole bunch of scars, which worried me a bit but was also kinda fucking hot. Which…uh, got me wondering how it’d be to get down with Rezi, and…”
“I’m just gonna stop you there, Rox.” You put your hand up before Roxy can finish her sentence. “Considering what I got out of John earlier, and how Terezi couldn’t keep her mouth shut on all the three-way action she’s getting to save her life, I think I can guess what happens next.”
“Gotcha. So yeah, we threesome, and hooooooooo-ly fuck was it good.” Roxy’s smile goes ear-to-ear as she’s clearly calling up the memory. “And basically, from there on out we were off and running on the threesomes-all-the-time thing. Couple times a week, a couple whole weekends, the beach day…”
“Oh god, the beach day.” John slaps himself his hand to his mouth in a futile attempt to stop himself from laughing. “Even after everything that’s happened over the last few months, that’s still the most ridiculous thing I can remember.”
“…Wait. Hold on. Let’s take a quick time-out, alright?” You make a T with your hands, the universal sign for the Commercially-Branded Sports Time-Out™. “Was there some other time you guys went to the beach by yourself? Because there’s only one other ‘beach day’ I know of, and if you’re telling me that you two and Rez got down to business while I was building a sandcastle made of dongs to piss off Karkat, I’m going to have to start questioning every decision in my life.”
John and Roxy glance at each other briefly before Roxy shrugs and answers, “Hey, it was totally Rezi’s fault for not knowing she wasn’t wearing anything downstairs, okay?”
You go quiet for a bit after that.
Eventually, you shake your head and rub your temples a bit. “Let’s put that one aside for now, because we could spend a whole fucking day going over how THAT bullshit happened.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.” John’s quick to agree. “Basically, though, it’s like I said before, we got into the threesome thing because Terezi.”
“Sure, I got that much, but that doesn’t explain why you two started banging all the other girls, man.” You look back at John, who blushes again at the mention of ‘the other girls,’ before you shift your gaze to Roxy. “Care to explain that one, Rox?”
“Can do, Davey.” Roxy nods back to you. “So, a couple days after that beach trip, John here had a hate-date with Rez. I was bored, so I gave Jane a call, and she wasn’t doing anything for the rest of the day. So I’m like, shit yes, haven’t had a proper girls’ night with Janey in a good while, so we made a sleepover out of it. So we were hanging out, playing games, then…uh…well, I had the bright idea to get revenge for the pillow fight we had the LAST time we had a sleepover…and…”
“Uh huh. I’d guess what comes next, but I don’t feel like putting my approximate knowledge of the most obvious lesbian porn script ever on display right now.” Now it’s Roxy’s turn to blush like crazy at your comment. “So why don’t we skip past the specifics again.”
“Y-yeah, sure…” Roxy nodded as she thought over what to say next. “So…yeah. Jane, man. I always meant what I said about how hot Janey is, but I had never actually thought to put that to…uh…practice, I guess. I don’t really know, maybe banging Rezi made me more conscious of girls, or I just got caught up in the whole sexy-pillow-fight thing, or…whatever. But she looked damn hot, and I was kinda feeling the mood, so I went with it. And…uh, right, skip a bit…then its morning all of a sudden, and I’m lying next to a super-hot naked Jane, and everything’s good…right up ‘til the moment I think ‘what do I say to John?’ Aaaaaaaaand then came a little panic attack.”
“Oh, so is this my turn to tease you for your heart-pouring-out moment?” John snarks at Roxy, getting a playful fist to the side for it. “Heh, sorry, sorry…still, it’s only fair.”
“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya…” Roxy rolls her eyes at her nerd before continuing. “So…yeah, I’m fine now because it all worked out, but in the moment I was just fucking freaking out. And I felt like I couldn’t talk to John about it, for…well, a bunch of reasons, obv. But I still needed to talk to someone, so…”
You add things up in your head, and the answer seems pretty clear. “Rose, huh? Of course it was Rose. Because how else would something like this get started without my ecto-sis getting involved?”
====> Roxy: Flaaaaashbaaaaaaack
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering tentacleTheraptist [TT] at 6:08
TG: aaaaaaaaaaaaagh roooose
TG: i fucked up so bad
TG: pls you gotta help me out
TG: kinda freaking out here
TG: oh god rose pls pick up pls pls pls
TT: Good morning to you as well, Roxy.
TG: oh thank god ur up
TT: I hadn’t been, but the Persterchum notifier on my phone was kind enough to rouse me.
TT: I’d make a pithy observation about the early wake-up call, but I can see you’re already agitated enough as it is.
TT: Might I ask what’s wrong?
TG: im a fucking awful person is whats wrong rose
TG: worst piece of shit this side of the universe
TG: just the absolute
TT: And this completely untrue and ridiculous belief was brought about by…?
TG: oh man what am i gonna dooooo
TG: i cant fucking believe myself and I dont know how im gonna face john at all and
TT: Deep breaths.
TG: deep breaths right okay
TG: huuuuff pheeeeeew huuuuuuuuuff pheeeeeeeeeeeeew
TG: okay im still freaking out but a lil less now i think
TT: Very good.
TT: And typing in your breathing was quite cute.
TT: Now, I’m going to go make a cup of coffee, but I’ll return very shortly.
TT: Please continue to take nice, long breaths and try to calm yourself down until I return.
TG: ok ill try but pls dont be long rose im just so fucked right now and i need someone to talk to
TT: I’ll be here for you, Roxy.
TT: Just as soon as I can caffeinate myself to a more-or-less functional level.
tentacleTheraptist [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 6:15
tentacleTheraptist [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 6:24
TT: Sorry for the wait.
TT: Have you managed to calm down a bit?
TG: i guess
TG: im still an awful fucking person but i think i can talk about it without losing my shit now
TT: If that’s the case, we can get back to the million-dollar question.
TT: So, what exactly did you do that would make you deserving of such a title?
TG: i slept with janey
TG: and not slept slept but SLEPT slept
TG: im saying we totes fucked
TG: which would be great and WAS great except for the whole i have a bf and ur not him dealie
TG: and then i woke up in bed with a naked jane and realized im a fucking cheating scumbag and kinda started panicking
TG: and she woke up and couldnt believe we did that and we have no idea what to fucking do or what were gonna tell john
TG: oh god rose what do we tell john
TG: oh no u think im a monster dont u
TT: No, that’s…that’s not it.
TT: I’m sorry, the image of you and Jane naked in a bed together was a bit distracting, is all.
TT: And no, I don’t think you’re a scumbag or a monster for having sex with Jane, Roxy.
TT: Is Jane still with you, by the way?
TG: pretty fucked up about it too tho
TG: and worst is shes only beating herself up because she thinks she messed up me and johns relationship when really its all my fault
TG: she shouldnt feel guilty im the one who fucked everything up
TT: Roxy, I know it might seem bad right now, but I promise, you haven’t fucked everything up.
TT: I’m not going to press you on the details, but it seems pretty clear that all you did was get swept up by your emotions a bit more than you think you should have.
TT: And you and I both know John well enough to know that boy has enough kindness in his heart to forgive you if you’re honest with him and tell him that.
TT: You are going to tell him, right?
TG: of course im gonna tell him
TG: i wouldnt fucking hide this from him thats fucking gross
TT: Then you’ve already proven you’re not a cheating monster or scumbag, or whatever other epithet you had cooked up for yourself.
TT: A true cheater would lie about it and hide their affairs from their partner rather than be honest and tell them face up and explain what’s going on.
TT: So by committing to talking to John and working through the issue together, you’ve already proven you’re not a scoundrel or anything like that.
TT: Does that make sense?
TG: i guess so
TG: but im still feeling kinda
TG: man i dunno how to explain it
TG: its just weird and i dont know what johns gonna say
TT: Honestly, I really don’t think you need to worry about what John will say once you tell him, Roxy.
TT: Even if you were to leave aside the fact that he has a bigger heart than just about anyone else that we know, I have trouble seeing John, of all people, being one to get upset about you having sex with another partner.
TT: I’m fairly certain you and Terezi have been introduced, after all.
TT: Quite intimately, if the latest gossip is any indication.
TG: hehe uh yeah i suppose u could call that being introduced
TG: but still tho thats a quadrant thing this was just
TG: a plain ol ur hot lets fuck thing
TG: dunno if itll be the same
TT: Probably not, but I think there’s a bit more in common than you’d think.
TT: Certainly, kismesis relationships are an odd beast in and of themselves.
TT: As I’m discovering more and more, thanks to my own recent forays into the genre.
TG: lol yeah hows the spidertroll treating u
TT: I’ve got no complaints on that…wait, we’re getting sidetracked here.
TT: I can share some stories later, but let’s keep focused for now.
TG: shit right my bad
TT: Anyway, my point was that, in order to accept quadrant relationships, you have to accept that it inherently means multiple sexual partners to a degree.
TT: You even told me you had a similar discussion with John when Terezi approached him about going official with their beautiful hate.
TT: That he was worried it’d be a type of cheating, but you assured him he was fine with it.
TT: And, in turn, he told you he’d be fine with you doing something similar.
TT: Maybe your similar something just happens be closer to classic polyamory than quadrants?
TG: poly huh
TT: It’s not so far off, is it?
TT: After all, it’s not as though this is your first brush with more casual sexual relationships.
TT: You and Terezi have had sex without John as well, right?
TG: a few times
TG: but not as many times as weve all been together for a threesome tho
TG: either way its been pretty choice i won’t lie
TT: During any of those times, did you consider what you were doing to be cheating on John, or something he’d be upset about?
TG: not really???
TG: like sure the first time it was just me and rez she was cackling about messing with John about it and i told her off
TG: like woah not cool rez
TG: but ever since its just been
TG: two gals with the same bf bonding if you kno what i mean
TG: often on top of said bf ;)
TT: And did your night with Jane feel similar to that?
TG: wow yeah
TG: i actually hadnt thought about it but yeah
TG: just funs a p good way to describe it
TT: Then maybe that’s what you need to tell John.
TT: Tell him you got caught up in the moment with Jane, but that this is a part of who you are.
TT: Just like he was honest with you about his black feelings, you should let him know that you’ve discovered a budding taste for polyamorous relationships.
TT: If I know our Mr. Egbert, I have a feeling he’ll be quite understanding about it.
TG: yeah i think ur right
TG: man im still nervous about it but i think…
TG: i think itll work out?
TG: thanks so much rose u da best
TT: You’re quite welcome, Roxy.
TT: Now, you should probably see to calming Jane. Reassure her that no one is at fault here, and that you’ll get through this.
TG: yeah ill do that
TG: should uh
TG: probably get some clothes on first tho
TG: and wow yeah im gonna need to find hers too
TG: might be a lil tough while were both a little exposed yknow
TT: Yes, well…
TT: I think I can see how that would be distracting.
TG: lol u know it
TG: hard to do real talk when those crockers r hanging out
TG: just trying not to flashback n get sucked in again
TT: I suppose you must be back in good spirits, if we’ve managed to steer you back to lurid banter about Jane’s assets.
TG: hehe yeaaaaaah
TG: like i still know we messed up last night and i need to come clean bout it to john but the little voice in my heads all
TG: she is super fucking hot and last night was fucking sweet
TG: u need to do that again
TG: and i know i gotta push those thoughts out because its serious the fuck up time
TG: but theyre feisty thoughts
TT: I can imagine.
TG: dang it there they are again
TG: dammit jane y u have to be so fucking hot
TG: cmon brain get back to john
TG: no dammit dont add john to…
TT: Is everything okay?
TG: yeah im
TG: sorry im fine
TT: Are you sure?
TT: You trailed off there quite suddenly.
TT: What happened?
TG: nothing happened im fine
TG: mmmmmmmm how do i say this
TG: kinda had an image fly through my head
TG: aaaaaand it was
TG: just the hottest fucking thing
TG: but probably a little hotter than i should be okay with tho???
TT: Well, my curiosity’s peaked.
TT: Care to go on?
TG: k just dont tell anyone else
TG: invoking total lalonde secrecy rule here
TT: The Total Lalonde Secrecy Rule is heard and acknowledged.
TT: My lips are sealed to all non-Lalonde ears.
TG: ive told you about how much fun its been having these threesomes with john and rezi right
TT: You may have mentioned it once or twice. Or every day, basically.
TG: heh yeah
TG: well i mean everything i say about it
TG: its just fucking amazing and i love everything about it
TG: but one of my favorite things is watching john as hes fucking rezi
TG: just something about the look on his face or his little moans
TG: things i miss when hes fucking me because my brains kinda busy dealing with how incredible it feels
TG: i dunno but it just drives me crazy
TT: I can see the appeal.
TG: like i said i was trying to get my mind off janes hot bod and think about john and real talk
TG: but my brain decided to just add john to sexytime thoughts with jane
TG: and suddenly im there in that incredible moment but instead of rezi moaning under john its jane
TG: its just too much and im so turned on and its really not the time but fuuuuuuuuck
TT: So…a threesome with John and Jane, huh?
TG: even leaving aside the fact that its my bf and one of my bffsies
TG: probably shouldnt be super turned on by thought of john fucking his mom should i
TG: even if i get to be in on that fucking awesome sandwich right
TG: rose you there
TT: I mean, of course, it’s…
TT: Sorry, I can’t lie. That is an incredibly arousing image, and I kind of got lost in it for a moment.
TG: i kno right
TT: Though I can also understand the ecto-weirdness involved in such a situation…um…
TT: Do you…
TT: Do you want that to happen?
TG: you mean like
TG: do I want to get john and jane together for a threesome
TG: like in real life
TT: Assuming I’m right and John is his lovably understanding self about polyamory…
TT: It isn’t outside the realm of possibility that you could interest him in a threesome with partners besides Terezi, is it?
TG: hoooooool-ey fuck yes
TG: omg i didnt know how badly i wanted that until this moment
TG: fuck i
TG: shit cant even think right now im so turned on
TT: Are you alright?
TG: shit right gotta rein it in
TG: doesnt matter how fucking hot the idea is i need to focus on doing right by john
TG: rose thank u so much i gotta go and make sure i dont fuck this up
TG: ill make it up to u later mwah <3
TT: Wait, Roxy…
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTheraptist [TT] at 6:53
ROSE: Should I not have said that last part?
ROSE: My Seer powers said it would be the most fortuitous option, but…
ROSE: …well, I suppose I’ll have to wait and find out.
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering tentacleTheraptist [TT] at 15:02
TG: thanks again for today
TG: do you remember that time we talked about
TG: how you wanted to have kids one day