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Different Summers

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Loras was a boy of summer, through and through. He was born and brought up in the familiarity of sunshine and colours, overflowing in richness and freedom as the youngest son of House Tyrell. Everyday was a joyful time spent with his siblings, be it by playing around or doing trainings together. Being especially gifted at sword fighting, a boy then dreamed to become a great knight. A knight of summer.

He felt like Winter had come specifically for him when his father sent him away from Highgarden. Loras knew he ought to be excited, as being a squire was a real step on becoming a knight. But he definitely didn’t ask for a lord like Renly Baratheon! He was a man only few years older than him, who lived on a faraway stormy island, who was not even a knight himself… what could be any worse?

Storm’s End was definitely not in the same summer Loras knew. Everyday was cloudy, if not rainy or stormy. The castle walls were grayish stone dull. He was feeling lonely too, since the Lord Renly was the only company he had, and Loras still refused to open up to him.

However, after a while Loras noticed that there was something a little strange about Renly. The young lord lived just like a boy of summer Loras was, despite all. Renly liked to wear colourful garments. Renly always put on a charming grin on his handsome face. Renly also liked to play around and chat, treating Loras almost like a younger brother instead of a proper squire under his discipline.

It was a weird kind of warmth, Loras thought, that radiated from Renly wherever he went. So maybe it was not Winter after all here in Storm’s End. It was a summer with a lot of storms. Well, that, Loras could try to adapt to.

So much that after a few years of the stormy summer, Loras found himself preferring to stay there forever. A boy had turned into a man, still aiming to become a great knight. A knight of stormy summer this time, protecting the silly lord who still could not fight well but somehow managed to captivate Loras’s mind and soul.

When Renly had to move to King’s Landing, Loras dutifully followed despite him being a free knight already. It was even weirder though. King’s Landing was all sunny and hot but the mood was practically icy. But Loras didn’t care too much about it. Behind closed doors, it was all the same. Renly was his sun and all that matters.

The King Robert’s death brought an uneasy chill to everywhere in Westeros, both Renly and Loras sensing Winter must be near. In fact Loras felt the anguish came one after another. Having his precious sister married to his lover, having lost in a melee to a woman...

Then just like how the day turned into night, the sun perished from Loras’s life. They were still saying that Winter was coming, but it couldn’t be, could it? Winter had arrived, crashing too suddenly.

Margaery told him that he still had to fight. Gone were sunshine, colours, and freedom. Ser Loras Tyrell was now whatever as needed. A knight of Tyrell. A kingsguard for Joffrey, and Tommen. Protecting his sister and that was it.

The sun had set, no candle could replace it. So Loras didn’t bother finding another light to his Winter. He just had to survive… maybe by trying not to miss the sun every single second.

But he was a boy of summer, through and through. He couldn’t help but being attracted to warmth, seeking any sort of heat source. It was sometimes not too difficult to forget the sun when he dwell himself in fire. And then maybe, one day, Loras could tell himself that this was not Winter. It was another weird summer without the sun.

Well, fire burns. The flames dragged not only him but also his precious sister…

The cell was cold and dark. His title meant nothing. Money and power couldn’t set him free. Margaery suffered in another cell. His family might start a war out there and who knows what casualties could be dragged in.

His sun was not there, either.

As a child Loras lacked nothing. Now nothing was all he had.

The septas came now and then to preach or hit him to force him to confess. But Loras didn’t budge. Being deprived of warmth, the boy of summer desperately looked for the sun who still lived in the past memories. And Loras, as he’d always preferred, chose to stay there forever.

When Margaery found him, Loras Tyrell was already a mentally broken man.

 

-End-