The day had come when we would finally lay Ashley to rest. It had only been a week since her death but to me it felt like an eternity. I miss you darling. Life without you is so boring, I miss the way you would laugh with me , the way you would interact with the fans but most of all I miss your smile. I still have nightmares of that cruel day, we lost you forever- I lost you forever. If only I wasn't so weak.
" Chris", Ashley's mother called out to me as she got closer. " Darling can you stand near the entrance so that people know what to do and where to sit?
I gave her a small smile to tell her that I was going to do what she asked but also reassure her- comfort her. She hasn't stopped crying since she got the news, I thought about how badly her death was affecting me, it must have hit her mother pretty hard. I walked to the entrance and greeted the people who had came to say their farewells to Ash. When the time for the ceremony came I rushed back to the hall and took my seat next to her mother. She had always seen me as a son, as her own child and what did I do to repay her? I killed her daughter.
I watched her wipe the tears out of her eyes as the ceremony began. The funeral took place in a church despite her not being all that religious but I guess that it was good place to have it as she was an angel. I hated the fact that this was now a literal statement. Why didn't I stop her? I thought about the events of these past few days and it made my heart ache. She was amazing, honestly there weren't many women out there like Ashley, well there were a few but none meant as much to me as she had.
" Chris", I jumped as her mam brought me out of my thoughts " darling its your turn" she said to me.
Oh, that is right I said I would do some kinda speech. I walked up to the platform and looked around at the crowd, it was full of her family and friends but no band mates. It made me angry to think that they drove her to kill herself and they didn't even turn up at her funeral but then again I guess that it was a good thing as if they came here I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't let them leave here alive.
I then began my speech:
" Ashley was an absolutely amazing, friend, performer and front- woman, her music really touched the hearts of the fans and the people that she loved and of those who loved her. She put her heart and soul into everything that she did and for that reason she will be dearly missed. There are not many people that come close to the perfection named Ashley Costello- but there is one- Amy. Amy in a way reminds me of Ash, she is strong, beautiful and above all extremely talented. All of the things that Ashley was and to honer her memory I will be performing a song."
Looking round the room, everyone had had erupted into silent tears- it broke my heart to see this sight. I took one look at Ashley's lifeless body and the signaled to my band to start playing their instruments.
Stay low, soft, dark and dreamless. Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness. I hate me for breathing without you. I don't want to feel anymore for you.
Grieving for you. I'm not grieving for you, nothing real love can't undo and though I may have lost my way all paths lead straight to you.
I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you.
Halo, blinding wall between us. Melt away and leave us alone again, humming haunted somewhere out there. I believe our love can see us through in death.
I long to be like you. Lie cold in the ground like you, there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you. I'm coming for you.
You're not alone, no matter what they told you. You're not alone, I'll be right beside you forevermore.
I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you. There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you and as we lay in silent bliss. I know you remember me. I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you. There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you. I'm coming for you.
As the music ended my eyes went to the back of the church and that's when I saw her- Ashley, even as a spirit she looked amazing. I watched as ghost flew upwards and she disappeared of into the heavens. Then the heart break of her leaving came back, I broke into tears and dropped to my knees. Pain engulfed my entire being.
" Ashley my angel, please come back", I whispered.