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Dear Diary

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Dear Diary,

You are my first diary. So I’m not sure exactly what to do here. Just write?

My name is Dawn Summers. Is that too formal?

Hi, I’m Dawn Summers (better?). My birthday is August 31st, 1986, so I’m ten years old. I have brown hair and blue eyes. I live in Los Angeles, California in a house with my family. I have a big sister named Buffy. And my parents are named Joyce and Hank.

My parents are divorcing.

That’s why I have you. Dad thought I could write out my feelings, maybe it’d help with the crying.

I cried all last week.

Mom and Dad had been arguing a little lately. They always stopped when I walked into whatever room they were in, but it was always awkward for a bit. Buffy talked to me a little about it, but she hasn’t been spending a lot of time at home over the past few months. She stays out late, and she comes home with blood on her shirt, pants, or arms. Mom and Dad said that she’s been hanging around the wrong sort of crowd, which isn’t like her. Buffy is perfect. She’s skinny, she has pretty blonde hair, and she’s a cheerleader. She’s got to be one of the most popular girls in school, and she isn’t even 16 yet!

Anyways, last week, Mom and Dad were really quiet during dinner. Finally, after what felt like an hour of silence, Buffy asked if there was something wrong.

Mom said, “Girls, there’s something we need to tell you.” And that’s never a good thing to hear.

Dad continued with “What you need to know is this has nothing to do with you-”

“It’s us,” Mom added.

Buffy’s eyes got big. “Oh god,” she said softly. “Are you getting a divorce?”

Mom and Dad got quiet again. “It just isn’t working out,” Dad said.

My world felt like it was shattering. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. I really couldn’t. I don’t remember what I said exactly, but I think it was something like “Don’t you love us anymore?” or something like that.

Mom said that they did, that they loved us so much, but they were finding that maybe they didn’t love each other anymore. Then Dad said something about him moving out in a couple weeks when he found an apartment, that we could stay with whoever we wanted, whenever we wanted, because we’d all be close to each other. I don’t really remember what else was said. It was almost in slow motion.

Buffy didn’t say anything else. She just stared at her plate.

Later that night, I saw Dad move some stuff into the guest room. He said he loved me, and that he was really sorry that it didn’t work out. Before I went to bed, Mom said the same thing. Buffy just looked tired and gave me a big hug.

I haven’t told anyone this, but I heard her crying that night. She kept saying “it’s my fault”, which is dumb, because it couldn’t be her fault. She’s perfect.

It’s been one week, and Dad’s still in the guest bedroom. He looked at a few apartments yesterday, and is planning on going out again on Monday. He can’t tomorrow since it’s Thanksgiving and everything will be closed. Mom’s doing alright, she’s mostly staying busy with work. And Buffy? Well, I haven’t seen her a lot. She has a lot of extra cheerleading practices, apparently.

A few years ago, we rented this movie called The Parent Trap. It was about two twins that meet for the first time, and decide to get their divorced parents back together. One twin goes to California, and the other goes to New York. I think it was New York. Anyways, they get their parents together in the same place, and they fall in love all over again.

I hope that happens. And it needs to happen soon. I didn’t like it when Mom and Dad were fighting, but I don’t like the awkward peace now that they’re divorcing.

Well, I need to work on homework now. Thanks for listening. Maybe I’ll do this daily. Maybe tomorrow they’ll tell us that they’re not divorcing anymore. At least I can hope that happens.

Anyways, thanks, diary. You’re pretty okay.