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Begin Again

Chapter Text

“Thank… Thank you. Thanks very much.”

Enjolras sighed as Courfeyrac finished up his set. They love Courf to death but his songs had a lot to be desired, they’d never tell him that thought.

They were sitting in the corner of the stage, on a small couch provided by the staff of the bar. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and perfume hung heavy in the room. Enjolras found it to be quite soothing actually, the distant chatter and the acoustic shows were something that Enj could appreciate. Huffing, Enjolras twirled a loose golden curl from their bun. It wasn’t like Enjolras didn’t appreciate Courfeyrac’s efforts to make them feel better, but this was one of those situations that couldn’t simply be fixed with the comfort of a friend. At this thought, Enjolras frowned, pausing the twirling of the loose strand of hair. I need to get out of here.

Courfeyrac was smiling shyly at the audience, all dark curly hair, wide smiles, and lovely, sparkling eyes. Enjolras wasn’t paying attention to him at this point, though. All they could think of were those tired, dark, concerned eyes. Enjolras scoffed. Concerned , yeah right.

“I know that there’s a lot of people on the list to play tonight, but I was wondering if I could just add one more.”

At those words, Enjolras froze. He wouldn’t dare. Enj sent a murderous look at their friend, knowing what was coming. Enjolras could see through Courf’s charming, innocent facade after knowing him for years. And they were proved right with Courf’s next words.

“And if it’s ok with you all, I was wondering if you’d like them to come up and play one of their songs?”

He’s fucking dead

“Is that ok? Yeah? Enjolras, would you come up here, please?” Courfeyrac’s request was met with hoots and hollers, and at the audience’s positive response, Courfeyrac grinned at Enjolras.

They glared at Courfeyrac and shook their head slightly, mouthing a definite no .

“Uh, just give me a moment,” he got closer to Enj and whispered, “I think it would be a good idea if you’d come up and sing one of your songs.” Courfeyrac was looking at Enj with those shining, enchanting eyes of his, and Enj knew that they couldn’t withstand those fucking eyes for too long.

Enjolras pleaded desperately, “It would be a really fucking bad idea!”

Courfeyrac frowned slightly, and seriously, god damn those puppy eyes, “Oh, Enj, come on, this is New York!”

“No.” Enjolras crossed their arms, their posture stiff.

He pouted before leaning back up and shouting, “You want to hear it, right? Yeah? Yeah?!” The crowd at the tables near the bar cheered a bit, causing Courf’s frown to disappear. Courf was smiling at Enjolras like they were the sun, and he was giving them a look that Enj read as I love you, and this is for your own good .

Sighing defeatedly, Enjolras reluctantly got up from the couch, and walked on stage. Some people whooped from the back. Enj picked up the acoustic guitar that Courfeyrac handed them, and gingerly sat down on the barstool near the front of the stage. They adjusted the microphone stand to their height, and fixed their posture. Enj took a deep breath before saying,

“Uh, so this is a new song, so it might be kinda rough,” they swallowed hard, “Um… it’s for anyone who’s ever been alone in the city.”

They began to strum and tried to ignore the dozens of pairs of eyes on them.


“So you find yourself at the subway.

With the world in a bag by your side.

And all at once,”


They were taken aback when the microphone screeched suddenly, but they quickly recovered,


“It seemed like a good way.

You realize it’s the end of the line.

For what it’s worth.”


The crowd began talking and started to ignore them singing, glasses were being stacked and broken, but this made it easier knowing that there wasn’t too much attention on them.


“Here comes the train, upon the track.

And there goes the pain, it cuts to black.

Are you ready for the last act?

To take a step, you can’t take back?


Taken all the punches you could take

Took ‘em all right on the chest

Now the camel’s back is breaking

Again, again

For what it’s worth


Here comes the train upon the track

And there goes the pain, it cuts to black

Are you ready for the last act?

To take a step, you can’t take back?”


They began to strum harder, getting to the more personal part of the song, letting their feelings show.


“Did she love you?

Did she take you down?

Was she on her knees when she kissed your crown?

Tell me what you found


Here comes the rain, so hold your hat

And don’t pray to God, ‘cause He won’t talk back

Are you ready for the last act?

To take a step, you can’t take back, back, back?

You can’t take back, back, back.”


They looked down and slowed their strumming


“So you find yourself at this subway

With your world in a bag by your side…”


Enjolras slowed their strumming to a stop, and took a deep breath. You’re fine, just keep breathing and you’ll be fine.  They didn’t look up as they walked off the stage; Courfeyrac was the only one clapping which wasn’t the best sign of things. They huffed as they collapsed on the couch, and didn’t say anything when Courfeyrac praised them for a spectacular show. As Enjolras refused to look anybody in the eye, they didn’t notice the young, curly haired man who had been staring intently at them throughout their entire performance with a smile on his face.