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For never was a story of more woe than this of Justin and his Jake-eo

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It was just another cupcake war. Justin Willman showed up to work and saw brothers Justin and Jake making out.
"Ok wtf" he thought. But he was like 900% done with life so he didn't really care. He walked into the studio. He got all the way through the day to the thousand cupcake challenge. He thought the theme of art would create sexual tension for Jake and Justin so he walked in on them to see how they were doing just as justin fell on a 2x4. It was super gross because it like went all the way through him and stuff. Jake fell over his dead brother/lovers body.
" Yea, noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!" He grabbed the 2x4.
"This is thy sheath;" he stabbed himself,"there rust, and let me die."
He fell on the body and died.
"OK wtf I'm so ready for death" thought Justin.