um i lazily stereotyped my boys so that doug is the bitter Uncle of the group, seth is an asshole, and ed is an emotional little baby. which is accurate imo.
“If you incompetent idiots would have done the jobs I pay you for, maybe we wouldn’t be up to our necks in bullshit!” Francis screamed, backing the terrified Seth and Doug up against a wall. “After I fire you shitheads, remind me not to hire dumbasses with thick skulls in your goddamn places!” He spun around, sick of them. When Edward tried to follow at his heel like he was dutifully trained to, Francis spun around, stuck a finger in his face, and shouted, “Don’t follow me!” That put poor Meechum dead in his tracks. Francis left the room in a rush, without him.
He slammed the door so hard that the pictures on the walls shook. His shouting was replaced with silence, instantly. The heat in the room was replaced with a scary coldness.
The three of them stood in complete shock, staring at the closed door. They didn’t know what to say, not to each other, not about what just happened. They’d been completely chewed out, and Frank Underwood knew how to draw blood.
Seth was the first one to speak. “Is it just me, or is something wrong?”
Doug was obviously very familiar with this sort of behavior from his boss. He sighed, most likely at himself than at Underwood. “He gets like this sometimes. It takes time to pass. But…” His eyes trailed to the floor. “This is worse than usual.”
They all agreed on that. The stress of being inches away from the Presidency was obviously taking a toll on Francis. Being hounded by the press and Congress was not making anything easier, not on him or on the administration.
The three of them knew Francis didn’t truly mean the insults he was throwing, but it still made them feel bad. They began to quietly think of reasons and solutions, and ways to save their asses should Frank actually follow through on the threats.
Edward spent the most time with him, on and off the clock, so naturally he had evidence to provide first. “I think I heard him crying in his study last night.” He paused, then furrowed his brow, thinking a little harder. “Or maybe that noise was coming from the video. Maybe it was sex noises.”
Seth stared at him in disbelief, raising an eyebrow. “You mean… porn?”
Edward nodded. He hoped he wasn’t betraying Frank’s trust by saying this, but Seth and Doug could be trusted. “Yeah. Sometimes he watches porn.”
“You’re kidding me!”
“It’s true. I walked in on him once.”
Doug wasn’t surprised by this. Instead, he was a little concerned. “Recently?”
“Yes.” Meechum furrowed his brow. “I mean, I’m not sure how often he does it. But I saw him, recently, so maybe…”
“He needs to be taken care of,” Doug finished. He gave Edward a serious look which made Meechum cower a little. “When was the last time you were with him?”
Ed had to pause to think, which meant it had been a while. “Two weeks ago? A little longer?” It was dawning on him why this was a problem. “I can ask to spend the night with him tonight. Then he’ll be better by tomorrow.”
Tomorrow wasn’t good enough. Seth shot him down. “With the investigation rolling in full force? No, he has to be at the top of his game. As soon as possible.”
“You’re right,” Doug said to Seth for the first time in his life. “We need a plan.”
They stood around in pensive silence. Doug took a seat at the edge of his desk. Seth put his hands in his pockets. Edward was fidgeting absentmindedly with the radio in his sleeve.
Doug didn’t appreciate all this unproductive waiting around. “I’ll take care of it,” he announced.
“You have to focus on the investigation,” Seth countered. “Help him with the business aspects of his stress.” A smirk crossed his face. He was already letting his cockiness get the better of him. “I can help him with the pleasure aspects.”
“You?” Doug scoffed. “That’s hilarious.”
“What he needs is a good dicking. And we all know I’m the best suited to give it to him, by far.”
Unsurprisingly, Edward was getting possessive. “How would you know what he wants? Francis likes best when he has someone to be with, someone to be inside of. I can help him with that.”
Seth almost rolled his eyes. “You seem so confident. If that was true, how come you’ve been sleeping alone for the past two weeks?”
Meechum’s fists tightened a little. “I know I’m right. Because I know him better than you.”
Doug was quickly growing tired of their arguing. He knew continuing like this would get them nowhere. “I know him better than both of you. I’ll take care of this.” He pointed a finger at Seth. “You need to focus on work.” Then he pointed at Edward. “You, do your job.”
Seth wasn’t finished. “Yeah, Meechum. Stand there and look pretty.” He stepped closer to Edward, looking him right in the eyes, smirking like an asshole. “Frank will be taken care of. By whomever gets to him first.”
“Screw you, Grayson,” Edward spat. “You’re nothing to him. What Francis needs is something you can’t give him.”
“What can’t I give him?”
Seth treated the word like a punchline. “What he really needs is to blow his load. You can love him all you want. Go ahead and milk him, too, I’m you’re your pretty lips are good at that. But what Underwood needs is a man like me.”
Doug stood up from his seat and glared at them. He had to step in as the father figure of the group since Frank was not present. “Stop bickering. You’re acting like children.” They came to a mutual truce and dropped the issue. Until Doug brought it back up again. “Neither of you know what you’re doing. So I’ll handle it. End of story.”
Seth scoffed. “I don’t think so.”
Edward shook his head. He shot mean glances at both Seth and Doug. “Neither of you will do it right.”
Clearly, they were at an impasse. Silence filled the room again. It wasn’t the kind of silence that shook the picture frames in the room, but it was still full and heavy.
Always quick-minded, Seth was the first one to come up with an idea. “Let’s all take turns. We’ll settle it once and for all.”
Doug wasn’t in the mood for games. Not now, not ever. “Don’t be childish,” he sighed.
However, Edward was sold on the idea. “He’s right. We should all try to help. Maybe what Francis needs is all three of us.”
Seth nodded. “If he’s better after the first fucking, we know who’s good for him.”
After shooting a glare at Seth to shut him up, Doug paused. He put more quiet thought into it, weighing all pros and cons, realizing Seth had probably done that in a split second on his own. “What if it takes all three of us?” he wondered.
Meechum had an answer before Seth could think of one. “Then we need to ask for Claire’s help.”
“She’s busy too,” Seth pressed. He tried to hold back a smirk as he gestured to Ed. “Maybe you should go to her, Meechum?”
Edward read his hand from a mile away. “Don’t try and distract me.” He smirked right back. “I’m with him all day. I can get to him first.”
“I wouldn’t bet on it.”
The three men looked back and forth between each other. The silence was creeping back, but they couldn’t stomach it now.
Without another word, they split up. The three of them shared one dominant trait: determination. They’d be damned if they didn't get this job done.
apparently 'office blow jobs' is my most-used fic tag? idk whether to be proud of that or not...
Doug knew that he was the best suited for this job.
This was true of any job, especially in comparison to Meechum and Seth. If you combined the lengths of time they had known Francis, the number was nowhere near how long Doug had known him. Naturally, he knew Frank best. So it followed that he knew exactly what he was doing.
Frank didn’t lose his cool often. He was a master at cool diplomacy when he needed to be, but he often bottled up his anger and let it loose verbally on people he cared about. Sometimes he would even let it out physically on helpless inanimate objects. Doug had lost track of the number of times he had walked in on Frank’s office or residence and found plates shattered, picture frames across the room, or wooden chairs reduced to splinters.
Usually, Doug was able to sniff out these tantrums before they happened. But with the ongoing investigation on President Walker, and driving back and forth to Maryland, Doug had admittedly been neglecting Francis by being absent. He had to make up for lost time now. For Francis’ sake and the administration’s sake.
When he walked into the Vice President’s office, the silence he was met with was scary. The lack of eye contact he received was even worse. It was as if Francis was too pissed to even acknowledge him.
Doug walked inside anyway, unsure if he’d get a hand around his throat or a smile - but he would have been satisfied with either.
As a precaution, he made sure the door was closed behind him, then slowly approached Frank’s desk, hoping that he hadn’t miscalculated Underwood’s cooldown time.
He got close enough and felt a wave of relief. Frank did not smell like sex, so Doug must have gotten to him first. A selfish part of Doug was grateful for that. The rest of him didn’t want Seth getting the satisfaction, because he would be smug for the rest of his life about it.
“Is now a bad time, sir?” Doug asked, to be considerate. Francis seemed to be doing more brooding than working at the moment, but it’s always polite to ask.
Francis did not bother answering. “Do you have information for me yet?” he demanded. “Solutions?”
“Not yet.” Doug knew that Frank didn’t tolerate apologies, so he skipped that step. “Seth and I are working hard to make sure things go well. But right now, that has to start with you.”
Francis finally looked at him, with a searing hot glare. “Are you saying that this clusterfuck is my fault!?”
Technically the answer was yes, but Doug said, “Of course not, sir. What I mean is that in order for us to take the next step forward, you need to be ready. Your mind needs to be clear and focused.”
Frank knew exactly where this was going. He resumed the work he was pretending to do. “Get out of my office. Go do your job.”
“That’s why I’m here, sir. To do my job.”
Doug grabbed Francis’ wrist and placed the hand over the curve of his ass. Francis hesitated, stiffened by rage.
When he attempted to pull away, Doug kept him in place. “Will you allow me to help? Or do I have to force you to relax?”
Francis caved. He inhaled and exhaled a long breath. Tension melted from him. He curled his fingers and gave Doug’s ass a squeeze.
They had known each other for so long that they didn’t need to say anything more. Francis spread his legs for him, and Doug resumed his place on the floor.
Francis was already relaxing. Sitting is his metaphorical throne, a man on his knees before him – it always cheered him up. He was in his element. He was in the position he was meant to be, with someone he loved and trusted.
As he undid Francis’ belt, Doug almost felt bad for Seth and Edward. Their little challenge was childish. Doug pitied their naïve confidence. If it took a competition like this to help them learn who was the boss of the group, then so be it. Seeing the dejected looks on their faces would definitely be satisfying.
What they could never understand was that the best way to do this was the old-fashioned way, the way that has worked for Frank for fifteen years and never failed to succeed.
Doug has been other places with Francis, but he enjoys being here, on his knees. He loves it every time. Here, he can show his devotion and appreciation in ways outside of work, because their bond transcended the workplace.
Francis stroked the side of Doug’s face as the younger man pawed through his briefs to tease his swelling cock. His voice was affectionate. “You handsome devil. You always know what to do.”
Before he begins, Doug has already labeled this a success.
i was gonna make them all under/around 1k but... whatever lmao
is it obvious that im saving my favorite guy for last? because i totally am.
Edward hoped that he would be successful at this job.
And he probably was. After all, he was the one who Francis allowed in bed with him, whose body was taken and used by the Vice President in a million different ways. Francis desired him, even if he sometimes was too busy to show it. That was a fact Doug and Seth couldn’t deny, an unfailing luxury they were not guaranteed to have.
In that case, Edward supposed he was lucky. He did feel lucky, every day. He felt honored, too. Francis chose him. Seducing him to win a bet made Ed feel guilty, but he kept reminding himself that it was for the greater good: to help Francis. And that made any kind of back-channeling and childish betting matches worth it, in Edward’s mind.
Meechum was on break right now, but he had overheard Underwood’s schedule and memorized it. Francis was on his way to give a press conference. That was bad for two reasons. First, because dealing with the press would definitely make his mood even worse. Second, because once he finished, he would be alone with Seth.
From spending so much time with the Vice President, Edward had memorized his routine, too. Francis always stopped at the bathroom
It was empty when Frank finally walked in. He was surprised to see his bodyguard there. “Meechum?” Francis said, more in shock than to get his attention. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” He moved to a urinal a few positions down from Meechum’s, and didn’t say another word.
They didn’t talk, and the only sound in the otherwise empty room was the sound of their streams of piss. Edward hoped he would be addressed again, because he did not like to speak out of turn, but right now, technically, he was on break, and they were in private, so he could address Francis however he wanted.
Edward looked over at him, which was not proper bathroom etiquette, but he figured it didn’t matter when you were dealing with someone whose penis you had already seen. “Sir, how much longer until the press conference?”
Francis finished pissing and cleaned himself up, packing his cock back into his pants. “Oh, another ten minutes. Taking a piss break beforehand is a necessity. That press corps can be a real pain in my ass sometimes. They are the very last thing I need at the moment.”
Though Francis’ shooting off at the mouth made it seem like he was relaxed and no longer tense, Edward knew better. He gained a skill of observance. He read the tension in Frank’s muscles, his stiff posture. He still needed to be cared for. Edward was not too late.
In his lost train of thought, Edward almost doesn’t notice Francis moving towards the door. “Wait, sir,” he stammers frantically, getting Frank to stop in his tracks. “Can I-”
“No.” Francis dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Don’t be ridiculous, Meechum. You’re still on break. You don’t have to come with me to a press meeting.”
Edward did not correct him, and instead spoke for himself. “What I meant to say was, can I keep you company for the next ten minutes?”
Any friendliness in Frank’s expression dropped instantly. “I need to leave.”
He was still in reach, so Edward reached out for him and grabbed him by the wrist. When Frank stopped trying to escape, Edward softened the touch and held his hand, gently coaxing him back inside.
“I think you should stay,” Edward suggested. He knows he should not make demands. Not yet.
Francis looked down at where their hands meet. Then his eyes trailed to Edward’s penis, still exposed out of his pants. “I think you’re right.”
A little taken aback by how quickly he had received a yes answer, Meechum released his hand and quickly went back to finishing up going to the bathroom. “Just give me a second,” he said under his breath, frantic to get started before Frank changed his mind.
Francis did not have the patience. He walked around to Edward’s backside and nudged his hips against Edward’s, pushing him forward so his crotch is pressed against the white porcelain rim of the urinal, squeezing his still-wet package against the hard place, trapping him from escaping.
Edward knew he was powerless. He put his hands at his sides, unsure what to do, determined to get some toilet paper and clean up. But he did not make a move. “I should really clean myself first.”
“I like it dirty,” Francis growled in his ear.
Edward smirked. This was going far more easily that he had thought.
When alone with Francis, for personal encounters like this, Edward allowed himself to be caught off guard, or at least to allow Francis to think he was. Frank grabbed Edward in two places, by the back of the neck and around his waist, and heaved him to the side and forced him forward so he was bent over the countertop by the sinks.
Being thrown over the counter like this knocked the wind out of him, and Edward gasped. Francis pressed his face into the cool granite countertop and stood over him, urging his hips against Edward’s backside again. Edward could already feel his flaccid cock starting to harden.
Now that he was closer, bent over him like this, Edward got a deep whiff of Francis. He smelled like sweat, the kind of sweat that came out during good sex. Which meant Doug got to him first. Not Seth, of course, because sex with Seth wasn’t really good – Edward knew that from experience.
Edward’s heart only sunk for a second before hope filled his gut again. Francis may have already been attended to, but whatever Doug had done with him clearly didn’t get the job done.
“Hold on.” Francis leaned over and whispered into his ear. “I’d like to see your face.”
Before he can turn, Edward felt a fist grab his hair and lift his head so that he was staring his own reflection in the face. He gasped, and turned his eyes to meet the eyes of Francis’ reflection, eyes which are keenly admiring him.
The fist in Meechum’s hair tightened. “You are such a pretty boy,” he cooed. All the tension in Edward’s muscles immediately melted.
The sound of Francis’ pants dropping to the ground creates a clinking noise as the metal of his belt hits the tile floor. Meechum knew he was going to be fucked, and he wanted it, even if it had to be dry. But if this was going to help, it couldn’t be vanilla. Edward had to think outside the box.
“Sir…” Meechum’s heart kicked up a notch in speed. “Look me in the eyes when you fuck me. I want to see your eyes.” Bent over a bathroom sink, Edward was certainly not in a position to be making demands.
To his surprise, Francis smiled instead of scolded him. He loosened the fist in Edward’s once-neat haircut. “Are you demanding something of me?”
“Yes, sir, I am.”
“May I ask why?”
“If I want to win, I have to take risks.” Edward swallowed hard. He keeps his gaze fixed on Francis’ reflection. “You taught me that.”
Francis did not ask what Edward was attempting to win. Doug might have told him, or maybe Frank was smart enough to sniff it out on his own. It didn’t matter either way.
Edward spread his legs for him, and received the hard outline of a familiar cock up the crack of his ass, barricaded only by thin, white briefs. Francis pushed his tip against the hole anyway, stretching the underwear into Edward’s own entrance.
Though he knew Francis could see him, Edward let a confident smirk spread across his face. It was hard to read Frank Underwood, but he had developed a skill for it. And Edward knew for sure that this was going to be a success.
pro tip from someone who's sad a lot: if you write a fic, with seth in it.. you'll feel less sad! it's like magic.
Seth was confident that he would be the right person for this job.
It really wasn’t fair that this was a time-sensitive competition, because Seth had work to do. He had morning briefings to prepare for and present. While that gave Edward and Doug ample time to get to Frank first, it also gave Seth a clear, open window of alone time with the President, one he did not have to schedule.
Besides, coming last had its advantages. If he got third place and ended up being the one who succeeded, it would be an even better I-told-you-so moment than if he had fucked him first.
It went just as planned. Francis finished up the conference with no issues. The press corps actually behaved themselves today and thankfully had no follow-up questions for Seth after Frank left the podium.
The two of them met in the back press office, an inconspicuous closed door behind the press floor where reporters were not allowed access. This room was reserved for the staff of the President's communications director – a title Seth wished to hold someday soon, preferably – but nobody was inside at the moment, so Seth figured he could use it for himself.
"Before you get back to your office," Seth began, leading Francis inside in a fake attempt to rush him, "I was hoping to run over some things with you, in an effort to smooth things over next time. I've been working hard trying to fix what we did wrong, sir, and I assure you that I'm making progress, visible progress I can show to you soon."
Underwood appeared amused, but it was hard to read him, so Seth didn't even try. "Oh, really?"
The incredulousness put Seth a little off his game, but he proceeded without hesitating. "You were right. Doug and I should have done better. I intend to prove my worth to you in every way I can."
Francis stood in the doorway and folded his arms. "Save it," he sighed. "I'm already catching wind of this little plan the three of you must have come up with."
Though he was taken aback, Seth didn’t even flinch before lying. “Plan? I don’t know what you mean, sir.”
Instead of calling him out, Frank chuckled. “Of course you don’t.” He turned around and locked the door, so nobody would intrude or disturb them.
Honestly, Seth was shocked. That was a confirmation, a yes answer before he had even asked. He had expected this to take more convincing, for Francis to require lots of buttering up. Maybe his mood had passed, or maybe Meechum and Stamper had gotten to him already.
Those fears were confirmed when Francis uncrossed his arms, approached Seth, and remarked, “You’re lucky Doug got to me first.”
Seth could feel his stomach twist, but it wasn’t defeat, it was jealousy. “And Meechum?”
Francis nodded. “Him, too.” He continued his slow approach so that only a desk separated them, an obstacle and a safety barrier. “What can you give me that they can’t?”
Seth knew the answer to that. “A good, hard fucking,” he said confidently, smirking despite knowing he would be scolded for it. He walked around the desk so he was on the same side as Underwood, who was unsuspecting.
Audacity was not attractive to Francis. “Is that so?” He stood his ground and allowed Seth to walk directly behind him, making the mistake of letting down his guard.
Seth had him right where he wanted him.
He had Francis bent over the desk in half a second, muscling him off his feet so he landed on the desk with a hard thud. It was easy; Seth was much larger than Frank and had him at his mercy before either of them could blink. It made him smile to think about how horrified Edward would have been if he saw this happen.
It was always surprising, how strong Francis was. He protested and tried to push himself up with a startling amount of strength. Seth remembered something about a rowing machine and pinned Francis down harder. This must have been awful for him. Frank hated being subordinated, so Seth was really pushing his limits here, but high risk tended to yield high reward.
The unbridled rage was back with a fury. "Damnit, Grayson!" Francis roared, "You’re lucky I don’t take your job from you right this second, you goddamn back-country hick!"
Seth laughed a little at the insults, ones that had a strong effect on him when he was younger, but no longer. "This is what you need." He was confident about this because it was true.
Francis seemed to understand. He cooled down. The stiffness in his body started to relax. "You had better know what you're doing," he warned.
Seth moved his hands to Frank's hips, no longer needing to pin him down. "You'll find out soon," he teased, pouring salt in the wound.
"Then you'd better get started, if you know what's good for you."
Seth did not need to be told twice.
He proceeded, and began to pull himself out of his pants. His body knew what was coming and he could feel the blood rushing to his cock, pressure stiffening the base first and then slowly moving up his length. He was still mostly soft. Before it could get too stiff, Seth removed his ID tags and wallet from his pocket and took out a condom and removed it from its foil wrapping.
Frank no longer resisted, but he was still tense, expecting exactly what Seth was selling. "If you’re embellishing, I’m going to be very disappointed."
They’d fucked before, but Seth had never topped him. Undoubtedly, Frank had heard stories from Edward and Doug about how it felt. “I promise, I’m the real deal.” There was no way to talk about this and not sound cocky.
Francis lifted his head to watch Seth roll the condom on his growing dick. "You seem rather confident about that."
"I'm confident about a lot of things." Seth gave Francis' ass a firm squeeze.
Francis tensed up all over again. He sighed to vocalize his annoyance. "I don’t like cocky boys, Seth."
Realistically, Seth didn't need to be cocky if he walked the talk. It was probably in his best interest to shut his mouth, but just couldn't help himself. He loved being on top, especially when the person below him was powerful and ruthless and the Vice President of the United States.
His cock was quickly filling out the condom, stretching the rubber, unrolling it further around the rim of its yellowish end. He had to stroke himself through the slippery rubber, had to give himself some attention so he could quickly start and finish with Frank.
The condom was lubricated grossly, and it had been in Seth's wallet for god knows how long, so the heat made even more lube slip off of it. It was ribbed and would feel good for Frank, and as he glided his fist from head to base in tight strokes, it felt good on his cock, too, the ridges squeezing against his thick shaft.
Francis’ bad mood still hadn’t faded. “What the hell are you doing, jerking yourself off? Self-care is great and all, but save it for when you’re sad and alone! You’re putting me to goddamn sleep.”
Seth removed his hand and looked at it. His palm was coated in warm, gooey lubricant. His cock was hard and red, he could see the color through the yellowish condom. He finished rolling the rest down, so the base of it curled up and snagged his long, dark pubes.
Having no desire to piss of Frank any more, Seth teased him a little more. He shifted his hips and ran his dick up the back of Francis’ legs, then grabbed him by the thighs, pushed his legs closed, and slid his dick up between his legs.
This way, he could feel that Francis was hard, too, practically bursting out of his pants. Seth grinded forward and could feel Underwood’s heavy balls and cock through layers of clothes and rubber. He pushed against it to tease. It was rough and caused Francis to let out a moan he failed to muffle.
As Seth started to undo Francis’ pants so they could get started on the real reason they were here, he felt himself smirking again. This was going to work, he was sure of it. He didn’t even have to begin, and he already knew. He angled himself to line up with Frank’s eager hole, and before he even thrust inside, Seth knew this was a success.