Sometimes, it feels like she's walking down a long, dark tunnel.
Proverbially, tunnels have lights at the end, right?
She'd find it, she thinks, if it weren't for this...crap in her way, like money (lack of), Mom's house (falling down), Dawn (teenage nightmare).
And him. Spike. Evil, soulless (God, she loathes him), so, so hot. When he does...what he does, it feels so good she thinks the proverbial light would only dazzle her.
Ironic (in a sick, wrong way). The one thing in her life making her not want to be dead (again) is the thing that's slowly killing her.
All right, so she's not quite her shining self these days (sodding magic! Never did anyone any good), but whenever he sees her, he's still blinded, and in more ways than one.
This thing with her is wrong. He's always known that. Can even remember saying as much to her face once (and God, she looked good in chains, which hold that thought).
But he's a vampire, yeah? Wrong is what he does.
He'll take what he can get, until (as is in-fucking-evitable), she burns him up from the inside out.