I hate him.
Liar. I can’t even lie to myself now, great. When did I stop being able to do that? Why did I stop lying to myself? That was so much easier. It was a great skill for denying, a skill I could really use right about now.
It’s official. Alex Galchenyuk has made me regret breaking up with him. It’s not like I wanted us to break up, I’m in love with him still for Christ’s sake! Being away from him during the season just got too hard. I’m the type of person who likes to constantly be around my partner, I’m a very tactile type of person and being with a professional hockey player makes that hard. As much as Alex made me happy when I did get to see him, it was never enough.
What’s funny about the whole thing is that Alex said I would miss him after we’ve broken up, I didn’t believe him. I do now. God, I do now. I constantly miss getting to sleep in one of his soft with wear grey t-shirts, steal his hoodie when I got cold- which was often, and I just miss our late night conversations when he was on the road. We’d talk about what happened throughout the day to each of us, his stories typically consisting of whatever dumb thing Brendan and Nate pulled and mine of the adventures that happened while walking the dogs in my neighborhood.
I hate that he’s right. Missing him is awful, there’s this deep ache where Alex used to be. His gorgeous blue eyes and loving smile haunt my dreams, I constantly yearn to feel his arms wrap around me again, and I definitely miss his soft lips meeting mine in a kiss.
I can’t stop looking him up and seeing how he’s doing; how happy he is without me by his side. Does he miss me too? Or has he already forgotten me? Am I now a lost memory in the subconscious of his mind? Does he yearn for my touch again as well, or has he already replaced me? How I wish I knew what he was thinking. How I wish I was never stupid enough to let him go.
Alex Galchenyuk, of course you were right. I miss you like crazy, but you that when you said, “I’m going to make you miss me. You’ll see.” Jokes on me. I do miss you. I miss you Alexander Galchenyuk.