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Never planned that one day (I'd be losing you)

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For awhile, it appeared that destiny refused to grant her any shred of happiness. Especially when it comes to being in love.

Caitlin lost her fiancé once, in the accident of the particle accelerator. Then he came back from the dead and married him only to lose him again a few days after. Caitlin's only in her late 20s and already she's a widow.

She thought the she could ease the pain and guilt by continuing helping out her team capture metahumans. She thought if she could love again, she could move on from her failed marriage.

Then she met Jay Garrick. Eccentric as he was, he was very compassionate and he reminded her former employer, whom she was very fond of. She allowed herself to be swept away in the budding romance of their relationship only to have a cruel reminder that destiny was not on her side.

Everything about him was a lie; a persona he made to cover up his true, psychopathic nature. He was a sadistic, paranoid, drug-obsessive metahuman who makes it a habit to kidnap and murder people on a daily basis.

Caitlin believed that destiny was mocking her, as if saying, "You wanted to fall in love again? Okay, I'll give you this murderous psychopath." He even threatened to kill her and show no mercy if she left him.

Caitlin thinks it's best for herself and for others that she won't be in a romantic relationship for awhile, if not ever. Zoom and Ronnie were enough to set a person back from pursuing let alone looking for anything.

But even as she was involved with these two men, there was always a common variable that prevented from her from giving away all her love.

Harrison Wells.

Back to when she was married, she felt drawn to the enigmatic man who was way too intelligent for his own good. She loved Dr. Wells in a way she didn't even know was love. She was extremely loyal to him; she stayed with him even though he sent her away due to the fact that he was worried that her reputation may be tarnished by his presence alone. Caitlin even turned down her fiancé's plea to elope together just so she could be by her employer's side. She worried for him, she cared for him and watched over him in a way that could be described as love.

Being with Jay, she automatically knew she couldn't fully love this man. Deep down, she knew that he was poor replacement for Dr. Wells and Ronnie. Besides, her hands were full basically taking care of her former boss' doppelgänger, who happened to be as much as an ass as the original Wells.

Harry, as everyone agreed to call him to distinguish him from his counterpart, was not allowed to leave STAR Labs, thus allowing him and Caitlin to bond. Again, she didn't realize it, but she certainly loved Harry, but she wasn't in love with the stoic asshole.

Like his doppelgänger, she automatically gravitated towards him; maybe it was the familiarity of him, the uncanny resemblance to her Wells. When he refused their help, she didn't know what overcame her when she ran after him with the intention of bringing him back. Or that time where Patty shot him and Caitlin felt the blood leave her body and was replaced with deep fear. All she could think of was, "Harrison, please don't leave me too. Not again."

It appears it's vice versa as well. Harry was livid when he found out that Caitlin was kidnapped by Dr. Wells' gorilla son. He was willing to risk his life and his daughter's just to make sure she was safe. A chance he was willing to take. Even when she was taken from his grasp by Zoom, he was furious that Barry and the others weren't doing much to save her. Now that that she's returned, he made sure she was okay and hovered over her every chance he got without being too obvious about it.

Today wasn't any different. He still displayed uncharacteristic-like concern for her, but she felt flattered by his worry about going up against Zoom. He reassured her that he and Joe would protect her. The amount of pride that was evident on his face when Caitlin determinedly said that she wanted to help take down Zoom made her chest fill with warmth.

She came to visit Harry in his quarters when she accidentally overheard a conversation his daughter was having with him.

"When this is all over…I think I'd like to go back. Live my life there."

Caitlin barely surpress a noise of disbelief. Was Jesse not happy here? She heard Jesse back paddling, as if she almost regretting what she said.

"And you can live your life here! I know how you feel about these people. Caitlin…" Jesse voiced softened and Caitlin strained her ears to pick up on the rest of what Jesse was saying, but to no luck.

Caitlin's head ran wild with thoughts as to why Jesse mentioned her name to her father. But she pushed them aside before jumping to unnecessary conclusions. She moved closer to where the door is ajar and tried her best not to peek inside.

"If you want to live here, that's perfectly fine with me! All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, dad."

Even without seeing her face, Caitlin could imagine Jesse saying that with a sincere smile and Harry looking conflicted. She couldn't hear if Harry said anything in return but she almost jumped when Harry walked out the door with a grim look on his face. If he looked surprised to see her standing beside his door, he didn't show it. 

He beckoned her to follow him and she did wordlessly. Once they were alone in the cortex, he turned towards her, placing his pack on the floor.

"How much did you hear?" Harry asked, avoiding eye contact with the biochemist.

"Enough to know your decision." Caitlin replied, almost sadly. The moment Jesse said all she ever wanted was her father to be happy, that sealed the deal for him.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "And what is my decision, Snow? I haven't told her yet."

"You want to leave. Go back to Earth-2."

He looked surprised before replacing it with a perfected stoic expression.

"And how do you know this, Snow?"

She jutted her head towards his oversized backpack. "You always carry that around, as if you're ready to leave on a moments notice." When Harry didn't protest, she continued. "Plus, you love Jesse without a doubt. You want to be part of her life, and that makes you happiest."

His cold, exterior fell away and replaced with conflict.

"I…want to to stay here. On this earth, our earth." Harry said.

Caitlin walked towards him but didn't dare touch him.

"Then stay."

For a moment, for one cliché moment, it seemed time had stopped when hazel eyes locked with azure ones.

Harry searched her eyes, to see if she was really being honest. All that was there was the sincere truth. She then placed a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"Stay here with us." She softly pleaded. "With me."

She was so used to Harry being in her life. She was so used to Harrison Wells, that it didn't matter if this man in front of her was just a doppelgänger of the dead man she used to love. She didn't want him to leave. Not when her life revolved with him being in it.

He was surprised at the unfamiliar weight on his shoulder. He slowly looked at her slender hand back to her face. He leaned towards the warmth of her hand and she cupped his stubbed cheek, her thumb caressing the prickly skin soothingly.

"I will miss you, Caitlin." Harry smiled softly. Her eyes widened at the use of her name being said by him — something he rarely did. Her eyes watered up, his decision made even though she already guessed it.

He mimicked her action, and placed a calloused hand on her smooth cheek, wiping the tears that had fallen. She was about to withdraw her hand to wipe them herself, until Harry grasped it in his free hand. He clasped her hand with both of his and brought it close lips that she felt hot, moist air on her skin.

"Please don't go." Caitlin brokenly said, fresh tears betraying her will not to cry. She lost so much already. She can't lose him too.

She was met with a sad smile, eyes glittering beneath his rimmed glasses.

"I'm sorry, Caitlin." With that, he placed his warm lips on top of her knuckles. That moment alone made her hold her breath, unspoken feelings being told in that innocent kiss.

She loved him without a doubt. He loved her too, that she can see. But with time and destiny fated to make her miserable, she knows she can't afford to fall in love. And Harry knows this.

He tugged her by her hand and wrapped her in his warm embrace, his hand tangling in her brown locks. She clung onto him, not willing to let another part of her happiness fade from her grasp. Harry soothingly hushed her as sobs wracked from her body.

She was tired. She emotionally, spiritually and physically drained; she wouldn't be able to handle the impact of Harry and Jesse's departure.

He held her for awhile, just the two of them in the silence of the Lab, until she couldn't she could no longer cry.



It's time for the inevitable. For Jesse and Harry to return back to their home, their Earth.

Harry walked towards her, a smile in place, but his eyes in pain, knowing he's one of the reason for the sadness evident on her face. She's been crying alone and that sent a pang of hurt in his chest.

"Caitlin," Harry started, smiling when Caitlin tried smiling at him. "You're a tremendous scientist. But you are even a better person."

He immediately wrapped his arms around her and he felt his body tighten by the strength of Caitlin's grip. "Don't make me cry, Harry." Even without seeing his face, she could tell he was smiling.

No one else could hear it. Know one else would know it. A secretly only the two would carry. "I love you, Harrison." Caitlin whispered.

He didn't say the words back. He couldn't. Not like this, not when he was about to leave her forever. But he loved her too. Instead, he hoped his last embrace could portray his feelings to the biochemist.

Maybe in another universe, they could be happy together. Maybe in another universe, they aren't broken people.

Maybe in another universe, they could meet again.