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The Troubles of Perfect Women

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The Troubles of Perfect Women

The coffee morning at the Prosecutor's Office was extremely quiet today. It had not had quite the same atmosphere since Godot was arrested but they had kept it going out of habit.

Today however only two people had entered the room to talk. It was salary assessment day and others were feverishly making sure that there was nothing that Chief Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth could pick them up on.

That was not to say these two did not care; quite the opposite in fact.

One was a woman with silvery-blue hair, a whip residing tightly under her arm as she poured herself a cup of coffee. This was Franziska Von Karma, a prodigy prosecutor who had recently returned to the office after spending many years assisting interpol with their intentional investigations. Now that Edgeworth was Chief Prosecutor however, she had returned. She had to find a way to prove that she was better than her little brother.

After all a Von Karma could be no less than perfect and she would never be bested by the likes of him. It was this belief that she was perfect that she was not worried in the slightest about the assessment. She would pass it as always. Besides which she was far too agitated with her moron of a husband to concentrate on something that she already knew was perfect.

The other was a younger woman in a lab coat with special pink-tinted glasses residing in her brunette hair. She was grumbling under her breath as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She had hoped after returning home from becoming a forensic scientist that she would get a better position now but no, she was still stuck where she was originally and she had no wish to talk to him right now. Not after their disaster of a weekend.

Franziska turned to her as the other sat down, raising a slight eyebrow. “Not with Prosecutor G-“

“Don’t mention the Glimmerous Fop!” Ema snapped as she took a sip of her coffee, now wishing she’d bought some snackoos with her. Eating them always seemed to be a good way to take out her frustration before she did anything more violent.

“I was merely concerned as he does not strike me as the type to be on top of an assessment. Although they are all foolish fools for worrying this late. Miles Edgeworth may not be as perfect as I but do they really think they can hide any mistakes? He is bound to have already have noticed.”

“Is that why you’re down here?” Ema enquired. “I mean I didn’t expect you of all people to be worried about this but I thought maybe you’d try and grab any open cases before anyone else did.” She knew how much Von Karma was determined to face Phoenix Wright in court again.

Franziska gripped her arm and sighed. “Detective Skye… you have not been around as long as I have… so perhaps you have been fortunate enough not to run into my significant other.”

Ema glanced at her in confusion, then laughed. “They can’t be any worse than the Glimmerous Fop! He spilt all of my test tubes! Weeks of work wasted!” Okay so it had been more that he had tried to surprise her with an early morning kiss, causing her to knock them over, but it was still his fault!

“My foolish fool foolishly borrowed my whip and somehow managed to break my entire collection of perfect vases!” Franziska retorted. “Some were from interpol relations and not something I will ever be able to replace.” Okay so she actually didn’t much care for having flowers around the house, but it was the principle. As far as she was concerned these vases symbolised all her recent perfect victories and now they were gone.

Taking another brief sip of her coffee, Ema thought for a few moments before looking to Franziska once more. “You know… scientifically speaking… the way they treat us we never should have married them.”

“Logic would dictate that what you say is true, also,” Franziska muttered, drinking her own coffee. “However someone has to teach that foolish ingrate some manners.”

“That bad, huh?”

Franziska grimaced. “He… he becomes easily besotted and once he’s fixated it’s hard to get ideas out of his head. Did you know he kept trying to get me to model for his next book?”

“… Your husband is an artist?”

“That’s stretching things, but that is what he claims, yes,” Franziska muttered. “But if you really want to know what he is like I suggest you ask Miles Edgeworth or Phoenix Wright, I have no wish to talk about that foolish fool right now or to him. If he thinks I’m still going to that vulgar restaurant he booked tonight he’s got another thing coming! I don’t care if he’ll run to Wright again claiming I’ve abandoned him! It’s both their faults for getting on my wrong side!”

Ema’s eyes widened. “Woah woah, back up. You… you’re married to Larry Butz?” She had heard tales of that man from Trucy once after she had overheard Phoenix tell her that ‘you can never see Uncle Larry again’. To think that he was with Franziska Von Karma of all people… denied all belief.

Hearing her tone, Franziska raised her whip, threatening to hit her with it. “Yes! And if one laugh escapes your foolish lips -“

“…” Ema grabbed one of the biscuits and munched on it loudly. It was no substitute for snackoos but it would have to do. However she nearly choked on it as the taste hit the back of her throat. “Ugh. Who made these?!”

“… I believe it was Prosecutor Blackquill’s turn,” Franziska replied simply, glad for the change of conversation. “So I would not recommend confronting him about them.”

Ema grimaced. She drunk the rest of her coffee to get rid of the taste. “Even the Fop wouldn’t mess up biscuits…”

“Ach, is that a compliment I hear, Fraulein?”

Ema’s head whipped round to the doorway, glaring daggers as she saw her husband standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with an amused smirk on his lips. “Eavesdropping is rude you Glimmerous Fop!” She yelled, throwing the inedible biscuits at him as Klavier made a hasty retreat.

Leaning back on the sofa, she massaged her head, only turning when she felt a hand on her shoulder. “Prosecutor Von Karma?”

“… Detective Skye. I think we both need to have a regular coffee morning of our own.”

And that was how every Sunday, Franziska Von Karma and Ema Skye met up in a local coffee shop to share a coffee.

To share a coffee and talk about everything that irritated them about their husbands.