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I Could Be Enough

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Lassiter entered the apartment him and Shawn shared, only to find Shawn waiting at the door for him, holding a letter.

“How long have you known about this?” Shawn asked, handing the letter to Lassiter.

Carlton looked it over. It was the letter that told him that he would be stationed at a new police station, one two cities over. He would still be head detective, but the distance was so far, the couple would have to move.

“About a month, give or take,” Lassiter admitted.

“Lassie, you should have told me,” Shawn said, taking the letter back, scanning it over again.

“I did it for a reason. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have done it without letting you know first, and I’m sorry. This isn’t random though, I requested it. I wrote the police chief in Toro Canyon a month ago.”

“No,” Shawn said, in disbelief. Lassiter ignored this, and continued.

“I begged him to hire us, and got him to say yes. I thought you would have liked it, considering…the very near future,” Lassiter looked up at Shawn, meeting his gaze, holding it, before looking away.

“I am happy, Lassie, this is wonderful. I mean, the adoption is going great, we’ll have our baby girl in a few months, and I couldn’t be happier. But, still, you should have told me,” Shawn responded.

Lassiter looked back up, meeting Shawn’s gaze once again. “Well, I’m not sorry, Shawn. I knew you were going to stay here until you thought we had the money,”

“We don’t have all the money, Lassie,” Shawn interrupted.

Lassiter continued, “But you deserve a chance to see your baby girl grow up the way you said you wanted her to grow up. You wanted to be able to stay home more with her, and in a big city like Santa Barbara, crime is rampant. There isn’t a break. In Toro Canyon, however, there’s not near as much. She’ll get to live the life you…we…have dreamt she’d have.”

Shawn smiled at Lassiter’s words, and sat on the couch, urging Lassiter to sit with him. Lassiter grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. Shawn spoke up first this time, beating Lassiter to the punch.

“Don’t you regret being my husband though? I’m a ‘psychic’, you know this, I don’t get paid near as much as you do. I know you can provide for our family just fine, but I don’t feel like I’ll be contributing enough. You put in longer hours, more stressful days, and more sleepless nights than I ever will,” Shawn said, serious in his words.

“The only thing I regret, Shawn Spencer, is not marrying you earlier,” Lassiter responded, equally serious. Shawn smiled, and looked down, blushing.

“Look around, Shawn. Look at where we are now from where we started. The fact that we’re both still here, able to raise a child together, a child that, even if it only gains a piece of that personality of yours, well, look out world,” Lassiter smiled.

Shawn let out a quiet laugh in response, before meeting Lassiter’s eyes. Lassiter continued, once again.

“Shawn, I’m not going to pretend to know your struggle or how it was with your dad, your relationship with your parents, it’s a whole part of you that you try to hide and make better, but don’t worry about us ending up like that; I don’t. I’m not afraid, Shawn, because I know you. As long as you’re here with me every night, it’s perfect,” Lassiter said, pure honesty in his words.

“Shawn, we don’t need to worry about money, or any legacy your father tried to push on you, and Shawn, I swear, if I could put all of your worries to bed at last, I would. Just let me inside your fears, and I promise, they’ll go away. Let me be a part of your story,” Lassiter pleaded.

Before he could continue, he was interrupted by Shawn. “Lassie, love, don’t ever think you aren’t. You will always be a part of my story. You have been since I first saw you,” he said, squeezing Lassiter’s hand.

Lassiter put his free hand on their intertwined ones, and spoke, “That’s good to know. Let’s start a new chapter now, one where you decide to confide in me, whenever you’re worried. I could be enough, Shawn. That would be enough,” Lassiter said.

Shawn made eye contact with Lassiter, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I promise Lassie, but only if you promise to do the same,” he responded.

In the same tone, Lassiter responded, “I do.”

Shawn leaned in close, their mouths barely an inch apart.

“Well then, you may kiss the groom,” Shawn smiled.

Lassiter smiled back, and they met each other half way.