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Five Things Al Swearengen Will Never Do in the Gem

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5 things Al Swearingen will never do in the Gem, for ixchel55

(Now, I didn't know if this meant the entire building of the Gem, or not, so I decided to make it the saloon part, proper. Sorry if I got that wrong.)

1. Play grab-ass with Jack Langrishe -- or at least, smack him on the posterier the way Jack gets Al. Not that he doesn't want to; there aren't many things that would ever surprise that old bastard, but he's not going to give Jack the satisfaction of playing his own games.

2. Spit. He may be living in a town that's but a few steps up from a pig trough, but he'll be damned if he'd ever stoop to spitting indoors.

3. Show that he gives a passing thought to the whores. Especially Trixie, the loopy fucking cunt.

4. Talk to the Indian where anyone can see him. He knows Johnny and the boys wonder who he's ranting to when one of the girls isn't in his office, but it amuses him to maintain some mystery about his one-sided conversations. Lest they believe he might be losing his faculties...

5. Dance. Whatever fevered mental disquiet infects patrons' heads and feet, and they start do-si-doing about the place with the fat slags who work for him, he will never understand.