Group: Professor Wallace survivors anonymous
Clarke: I had the weirdest dream last night.
Jasper: the ABSOLUTE WEIRDEST??
don't get cocky
once I had a dream where monty was a hotdog and tried to eat me
Monty: And he's never let me live it down
Which is also weird
I didn't actually do that, Jas
You aren't allowed to blame me for things I did in your dreams
I am not and never have been Nightmare on Elm Streeting you
Octavia: yeah hdu guys pull focus from
Bellamy: Put a quarter in the emoji jar, O.
Octavia: I don't believe in physical money
imma paypal you
Clarke: So yeah, in the dream it's like
We're in New York, I think. I'm not really sure, but you know how it is when it's a dream and you just know something. So we're in New York.
Jasper: whos we??????
Clarke: Most of us, I think? It's always kind of hard to remember when it's a dream. Like I just thought "everyone's here!" but I mostly interacted with Bellamy.
Raven: did u mean: real life
Clarke: SO we're in New York, which isn't actually plot relevant
But there was a lot of neon so that was cool
And there's this huge crisis
Alien invasion maybe??
Monty: That means New York was plot relevant. If I've learned one thing from pop culture it's that aliens are always invading New York.
Clarke: And it was like
SO OBVIOUS that something was wrong???
There were literally aliens pouring out of the sky coming to murder us and me and Bellamy were trying to come up with some sort of evacuation plan or retaliation or something and everyone was just like
Jasper: well it's nyc
it's a big deal for you
but for them it was tuesday etc
Nate: That isn't even that weird. I once had a dream where I was coaching an ostrich hockey team.
Clarke: ...were they any good?
Nate: Dude, birds are assholes. They were fucking unstoppable.
Monty: That explains the Mighty Ducks franchise.
Clarke: Fine, I'll try to up my weird dream game before I tell you guys about the next one.
Roan: It's the least you can do
Bellamy: It's like none of you even care about the emoji jar.
Clarke: It's just like that.
Hangout with Octavia Blake
Octavia: she has dreams about uuuuuuuuuu
Bellamy: I can read, O.
"I heard that if you write down your dreams, you'll remember them better."
"Yeah," Bellamy agrees, sipping his coffee. "Most people use a dream journal, not a group chat, but whatever."
He and Clarke have a bi-weekly hangout that they call grade and shade and that Octavia and probably all of the rest of their friends call a coffee date, on Thursdays and Saturdays, which is nice. It's hard to coordinate spending time with people these days, and he'd miss Clarke the most if he didn't see her.
Which is why Octavia calls it a date. Bellamy's not that optimistic.
Clarke nudges his foot under the table. "You really need to embrace modern technology, Bellamy. Group chats, Tinder, emoji--"
"I've embraced group chats."
"Under incredible protest."
"I still don't like Hangouts. It's too--fancy. Gchat was better. Simpler."
"Luddite," says Clarke, fond. "Do you ever have weird dreams?"
"I don't know. I assume everyone does." He drums his fingers on the table. "I don't remember most of my dreams, I guess. Mostly just the nightmares, especially when I was a kid."
"So you should tell me about them. Then you'll remember the good ones better."
He can't help a smile. "Maybe I just never have good dreams, and you're encouraging me to traumatize myself."
"It can be good to examine our trauma," she says, prim, and he snorts.
"You're going to be a great psychiatrist. But seriously, I'm not going to start group-texting everyone about my nightmares."
Her smile is soft and makes his heart skip. "Not everyone. Just me."
"That sounds so much better," he grumbles, and tries to make it sound like sarcasm.
Group: Professor Wallace survivors anonymous
Clarke: I guess maybe no one in my dreams ever has appropriate reactions to things
Raven: again, realistic
Octavia: social cues are for losers
Nate: If you didn't fight a bird in this dream I don't care
Clarke: Spoilers: I did not fight a bird in this dream.
I was naked, but that's not a draw for you.
Roan: But you have my attention
Clarke: You were actually having inappropriate reactions in the dream, Roan.
Not the normal kind of inappropriate.
I guess it should have been one of those oh no I'm naked at school stress dreams, but it didn't really bug me?
It was just kind of annoying, because I was TAing my abnormal psych class and I kept having to use my arm to block my boobs.
And Roan was like, so unprofessional, Griffin.
Like people just forget to put on clothing all the time.
Roan: I don't know what you're talking about
That's exactly what I'd say in that situation
Jasper: wait were u just blocking ur boobs?
what about ur
Raven: the technical term is "who-ha"
Raven: which one of us has one blake
Hangout with Raven Reyes
Raven: don't take your jealousy that you weren't in clarke's naked dream out on me, I'm not her subconscious
Bellamy: She never said I wasn't in it.
And I'm just trying to educate.
I'm a teacher.
It's what I do.
Did I say shut up?
Bellamy: Seriously, shut up.
"I'm just saying, I'm pretty sure you're being stupid."
"I wasn't paying attention," Bellamy says, not looking at his sister. "But sure, probably. What am I being stupid about? You always say that. It's getting hard to keep up."
"You shouldn't be jealous of Roan."
"I'm not jealous of Roan."
"He's not into Clarke."
"Neither am I. Why would I be jealous of him? We have so much in common."
Octavia rolls her eyes, which he deserves. Clarke was his sister's friend before she was his, and he's pretty sure Octavia doesn't resent that he's closer to her than his sister is now--she's not hurting for friends--but he'll acknowledge that his crush on her friend has been awkward for her on occasion, especially when she was in undergrad and he was in denial about why he was spending time with them.
He's not in denial anymore, but it's still more fun to wind Octavia up.
"Dreams don't mean anything," Octavia says, and on that, they're in agreement.
But he does keep track of it. Not--he's not jealous. Of anyone, honestly. He doesn't think Clarke is into Roan--he's her thesis adviser and got added to their group chat both because it turned out he went to the same university they did and was in Professor Wallace's horrifically racist and incomprehensible freshman seminar, just like the rest of them, and because Clarke wants to hook him up with Raven--and he's pretty sure Roan regards Clarke as the little sister he never had. But he does like hearing that he showed up in one of Clarke's dreams, and he likes even more that he usually seems to be in-character, that any dream she has about a crisis always seems to involve the two of them teaming up to solve the problem.
He might have a tally count of how many times he shows up, compared to everyone else, but he will take that secret to the grave. Unless he and Clarke ever actually hook up, in which case he'll tell her, because she'll definitely think it's funny.
And then someone--he doesn't actually know who--starts the new group chat, so apparently everyone else really does know.
Group: team sorry about bellamy's life
Raven: dearly beloved we are gathered here today
in the sight of the nsa
Monty: sup nsa
Raven: to make fun of bellamy
Bellamy: Why am I in the group chat to make fun of me?
Shouldn't I not be here?
Nate: It's no fun if you don't know.
Is this like a general roast or is there a theme I should stick to?
I've got years of material.
Give me some guidelines.
Bellamy: I can't believe you're my best friend.
Nate: I know
I can't believe you're this lucky either
I have blessed u
Bellamy: Uh huh.
Octavia: we figured u needed somewhere to cry about how clarke was making out with a girl in her dream
Bellamy: How often do you guys think I cry?
It is not often.
Jasper: this is a safe space bellamy
we all love u
Roan: I wouldn't go that far.
Bellamy: Thanks for keeping it real.
I'm keeping a running tally for the emoji jar, by the way.
Octavia: like ur keeping a running tally of when ur in clarke's dreams?
Bellamy: No comment.
"I actually had a dream last night that I remember," he tells Clarke on Saturday.
She grins. "Yeah?"
"God, I should have known this would be depressing to do with you. What was the nightmare?"
He worries his lip, feeling awkward. "The feds took Octavia away."
Of course, Clarke straightens and sobers instantly. She always has fun dreams, or at least she only tells them about the fun ones. He understands that people have dreams that are scary but unrealistic, like zombie apocalypse or whatever, but when he remembers his dreams, they're all nightmares that feel like they could be real.
"How old were you?"
He has to smile; it's always strange, the things that make him want to tell her he loves her. Sometimes it's nothing, like the way the light catches her hair or the curve of her smile when she catches his eye after a joke. And then there are times like this, where she somehow knows exactly what to say, when he didn't even know what he wanted to hear.
"I don't know. O looked like--maybe sixteen? So I'd be twenty or twenty-one. I couldn't see myself, obviously, but I was kind of like--I dunno. Part of why it was a nightmare was that I was like--I'd already been doing it for a while, I thought I was safe."
"What perspective are your dreams from?"
"What do you mean?"
Clarke stretches; Bellamy keeps his eyes on her face and does not notice what the motion is doing to her chest. It takes some effort. "I just started thinking about this, but I'm never really--a lot of my dreams are kind of weird shifting perspective? Like, most of the time it's third person, with the point of view, like--right behind my head? So I can't see my face, but I'm not really in my real perspective either."
"Huh." He frowns, closes his eyes, trying to put himself back into the dream. "I think first person. Like my normal perspective. As far as I remember."
"I think mine's time-based. Or, like--genre?"
He feels his mouth twitch. "Genre?"
"Sometimes it's, like--an action movie, you know? You and me against the world. Those I'm usually--it's like I'm watching, like I'm the camera. And when I'm having dreams about being back in high school, it's the same way. Distance, I guess. So I thought maybe yours was like that."
"No, I don't think so." He smirks. "Next time, I'll write it down in my dream journal."
He finishes grading the essay he's working on and then gives her a contemplative look. "What prompted this, anyway?"
"The whole dream thing. I'd assume it was a class, but you're not taking, like, dream psych or anything. And you haven't mentioned any assignments."
"Honestly, I know this is going to be a disappointment for you, but nothing special. I had a weird dream, I figured I'd tell you guys, and then you were assholes about it, so I figured I'd go all-in and keep doing it." She grins. "You know me."
"I wasn't an asshole."
"No. That's why I'm making you my dream buddy."
"Jesus, I should have been an asshole."
"It is your go-to move." Her smile softens. "So, how did the dream end?"
"Octavia got put into foster care and I was trying to get her out. The family were assholes. Not--just normal assholes, nothing super nightmare-ish or anything."
"No, I get it. Those are the worst. I still remember when I was ten, I had this dream that my mom got cancer. I didn't really know what cancer was like, so it wasn't actually realistic, but--I guess if you don't remember your dreams you wouldn't get it, but a lot of nightmares, there's a point where I figure out it's not real. Like--it's a dream, of course it's a dream, we're not really getting stalked by a serial killer. The realistic ones--those are hardest because I never figure out they're dreams until I wake up. So if it's bad, it's still terrifying, and if it's good, I'm disappointed it's not real."
"Yeah. I woke up and it took me a while to remember--we're grown up. She's fine. No one hurt her."
"Yeah," Clarke agrees. "You're fine." He can see her hesitate, and then she reaches over to give his hand a squeeze. "Thanks for telling me."
He swallows, flips his hand over so he can squeeze back. "This better be worth it. I want some awesome action-movie dreams for this. You and me outrunning an explosion. I steal a helicopter and fly it into a building."
"Save the world, get the girl?" she asks. "Or the boy."
There haven't been any boys in a while, or any other girls. But he just smiles. "Yeah. Exactly."
Hangout with Roan Iceman
Roan: Did you know I've been in three of Clarke's dreams this week?
You've only been in two.
The more you know
Bellamy: Did you know this is weird and we're not actually friends?
Roan: I did know that, yes.
Your social circle is incredibly weird.
I'm thinking of writing a paper about the group dynamics.
Bellamy: Is that before or after you hook up with Raven?
Roan: I'm not particular.
I'm glad we had this talk.
Let's not do it again.
Hangout with Clarke Griffin
Bellamy: FYI, I remember I had a dream last night.
Bellamy: I know you like to stay informed.
Clarke: What was the dream?
It was hot.
What's your POV for those? First person?
Clarke: What? I'm curious.
Bellamy: First person, yeah.
Which is nice, honestly.
I don't want to dream about watching people have sex. I can just watch porn for that.
Clarke: Real person or concept?
Clarke: Sometimes I have sex dreams that are just, like--mouth, hands, etc. No details.
Bellamy: Real person.
Did you want a play-by-play?
Clarke: If you don't talk about your dreams, you're never going to get better at remembering them.
Maybe you're having awesome sexy dreams every night and you forget them.
Bellamy: Have you considered just watching porn like a normal person?
Clarke: I'm trying to help.
I'm actually helping.
Clarke: Helping would be linking an actual video.
There are so many.
And so many of them are gross.
Bellamy: Since when is it my job to find you porn?
Clarke: You started it.
Bellamy: Fine, next time I know I have a sexy dream, I won't tell you.
Clarke: Hey, let's not get carried away.
Clarke's birthday is a few days after Thanksgiving this year, so they're celebrating early, before everyone who's going home goes home, and before Bellamy goes into Thanksgiving overdrive mode. Usually, it's one of his favorite holidays, but Octavia is going home with Lincoln for the first time, and it's hard to get as excited. He's got people coming over--Raven, Monty, Gina, and Maya--but still. It's not the same.
So he's looking forward to eating a lot of cake and drinking a lot of alcohol and letting Clarke pet him. Her birthday parties are his favorite.
But first he has to find her a present.
"Something that says, I've been failing to ask you out for like twenty years and I'm going to keep failing for the next twenty," Raven says.
"So I wanted to ask her out when I was ten and didn't know she existed," he says. "Yeah, that checks out."
"I'm just saying, you freaking out about what to get Clarke for her birthday and then realizing you have to get her something else for Christmas a month later is my favorite part of the holidays."
"I should really just get an entirely new friend group. You guys are unsalvageable." He picks up a day planner and puts it back down with a sigh. "She never needs anything, she doesn't have time to read anymore. I should just get her alcohol and call it a day."
"She does like alcohol." Raven regards him. "Or, you know. Tie a bow around your dick and give her that."
"Sounds like a pain," he says. "I'd tie it around my neck. Then I don't have to worry about maintaining an erection to make sure it doesn't fall off or something."
"When Clarke first introduced me to her friends, I thought you all might be acting that way for my benefit," someone says. Raven and Bellamy both jerk up to look at Roan, who's smirking at them. "But, no," he continues. "This is genuinely how you are."
"Hey, if you've got a better idea for what Bellamy should get Clarke for her birthday--"
"Better is a strong word. I think any of my suggestions would be a lateral move from--that," he says, looking Bellamy up and down.
"Thanks, I think." He's never actually asked Raven's opinion on the whole dating Roan thing--he's not sure if she's aware it's a thing, and he's not actually involved in it, aside from knowing Clarke thinks it's a good idea, so he's never wanted to get involved--but he figures that if she doesn't want to be left alone with him, she won't be. "I've got an idea, be right back."
"Ribbon is in the back with the rest of the wrapping stuff," says Raven, and then turns back to Roan, so while he's successfully given them some privacy, he has no idea what he's actually looking for.
And then he sees the actual journals. There's a pair right next to each other, one with a sun on the front and the other with the moon, clearly a matched set, and it's maybe a little corny, but--he's pretty sure she'll like it. As a gesture.
He's also pretty sure he cannot possibly buy them with Raven and Roan around, or give them to Clarke with any witnesses, because he will die of embarrassment. So he texts Raven, Hey, can you guys leave?
why, she texts back, her dubious tone obvious even in unpunctuated text form.
I found a present for Clarke and you're never allowed to know what it is.
She responds with an emoji that shows up as a blank box, because he doesn't have emoji on his phone, as a matter of principle. Apparently she remembers that too, because she adds, that's an eggplant, which means dick, in emoji.
fine. i'm gonna ask her what you got her tho
Thanks. I'm waiving the emoji fine and everything.
He gives it a couple more minutes to let Raven clear out, and then goes up to the register, still half expecting an ambush. But he gets the journals bought and wrapped without incident.
It still feels kind of cheesy and stupid, but--in a nice way. He hopes.
Group: Professor Wallace survivors anonymous
Clarke: So last night my dream was me and Bellamy getting married in a secret volcano lair.
I thought you guys were going to derail for like ten minutes on that one.
I wasn't even going to try to follow-up.
Nate: Were you the bride or the groom?
It was honestly pretty normal, aside from the volcano.
Destination wedding at a supervillain's lair.
Octavia was best man.
Octavia: damn straight
Clarke: Raven was maid of honor.
Everything was going wrong and Bellamy and I were just hanging out doing shots and putting off getting dressed.
Aside from the volcano, probably exactly how our wedding would go.
Clarke: Seriously, no one's going to call me out on that?
Bellamy: Sounds nice to me.
Just like I always imagined my supervillain lair destination wedding.
It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, though.
Clarke: Like we'd really be able to not see each other for the whole day.
Jasper: is this real
im gonna spin a top and it's never gonna stop
monty are you incepting me
you can tell me if you're incepting me
id rather it came from a friend
Monty: I'm actually Nightmare on Elm Streeting you.
Get with the program.
Jasper: I KNEW IT
Bellamy's expecting Clarke's birthday party to be a little awkward, given she started off the morning with a text to all their friends about a dream she had about them getting married, but everyone seems to have agreed to not bring it up. He's not sure if they're biding their time, waiting for the right moment to strike, or if they're just keeping their mockery private. Maybe it's an early Christmas present.
Maybe they're just waiting to see what he's going to do.
If that's it, he assumes he disappoints them. He shows up early to help set up, as always, but everything goes smoothly at the party itself, and he bought Clarke some booze as a decoy gift, which she thanks him for, so everything seems completely and totally normal. They have no discussion of how Clarke had a dream about marrying him, even though, well. He would love to get her to detail absolutely every single thing she remembers about that, but he figures if she wanted to talk him through their wedding, she wouldn't have sent the message to the whole group.
Also as usual, he stays after everyone's gone to help her clean, and once they're done, he says, "I, uh--I actually got you something else."
Neither of them got that drunk, Bellamy because he was nervous and not that excited about it, and Clarke for her own, Clarke reasons, so when she smiles at him, it's soft and fond and barely tinged with alcohol. "You didn't have to. I love booze."
"Yeah, I know. I just won't get you anything for Christmas." He wets his lips, pulls the package out of his bag. It still feels like--he still thinks she'll like it. But it's a little embarrassing too. "Here."
"I hope it's porn," she says, grinning, but the expression fades into something else as she sees the journals. She traces the sun with her fingers, slow, and Bellamy finds himself shifting closer.
"I know you're not into analog, but--it looked like a good dream journal. You can have whichever one you want and I'll take the other one. Write down absolutely everything about my traumatic nightmares as soon as I have them, so I won't forget a second."
She laughs, but it sounds a little watery, and she still hasn't looked away from the journal. He's pretty sure in a good way. "I can't believe you're actually taking this seriously."
"Of course I am. You are." He shrugs. "Maybe my dreams are cool. I'd rather know if they are."
She hands him the journal with the moon on it. "That one's yours."
"Awesome, that's the one I wanted."
She laughs and throws her arms around him, tight and firm. He lets his own arms come around her, nuzzles her hair. "Thanks," she tells his shoulder. "This is--thanks. I appreciate it."
"Sure. Happy birthday." The response seems kind of disproportionate, so he strokes her back and adds, "Everything okay?"
"I was going to ask tomorrow, but--can I come for Thanksgiving? My mom's new boyfriend decided to ask her to his place and they said I could go, but--I haven't even met him or his kids and I'd--" She sighs and burrows closer. "I'd rather be with you.:"
"Jesus, she just told you?" he asks. "Of course you can come over, but--that sucks."
"It's kind of cute," she says, and he can feel her smiling against his neck. "Marcus was so nervous to ask her because he thought it was too soon so he kept putting it off. It's just--it's been a long week and I was already tired and changing plans is a pain, but--I'm happy for her. It's a good thing."
"Okay," he says. "Still."
"I don't mind skipping the eight-hour car drive. I'm going to sit on your couch and read your dream journal instead."
He gives her a squeeze; it feels like they've been hugging for a while, but she started it, and he doesn't see any reason to stop until she does. "I don't think I'm going to get eight hours of material into my dream journal by then. But you know my couch is always available."
"I know." He hears her soft sigh as she relaxes into him; she might actually be drifting off. "It was a really nice wedding. In my dream. Even with everything going wrong."
He kisses her hair. "Yeah, I bet it was."
Hangout with Raven Reyes
Raven: do i get a +1 for thanksgiving
Bellamy: Do you want a plus one?
I guess you can have one, I just didn't know you oh fuck it's Roan isn't it
Raven: ding ding ding
give the man a prize
he hates his mom and we're fucking now so
fyi this is the correct way to have a relationship
you've known clarke hates her mom for like ten years and you're still not fucking her
Bellamy: I'm not convinced anyone we know has any idea what the correct way to have a relationship is.
But thanks for the feedback.
You get a plus one.
Hangout with Octavia Blake
Octavia: r u married yet
Bellamy: No, are you?
Octavia: seriously, bell
get a move on
Bellamy: I'm expecting grandchildren from you.
I'm just saying.
Octavia: there's something wrong with u
Bellamy: Pot, kettle, etc.
The problem with remembering his dreams is that a lot of them are about Clarke. And more along the lines of "volcano wedding" than "alien invasion." He has a lot of dreams where she's curled up in his lap, half-asleep, and it reminds him of what she said, about realistic dreams. Because he's really disappointed to wake up and find himself alone.
And Clarke is planning to do a dream journal exchange, which--he read over what he had in there and his is basically a love confession. In dream form. Plus one weird one where he and Octavia were on a game show about fighting people, but it's definitely the outlier.
If she asks, he's going to give her the journal, and they can either get married in a volcano or stop being friends. Her call.
She arrives at eleven and settles in at the kitchen counter to make name cards and a centerpiece for the table while he cooks. There's no mention of the journals, but after an hour she does say, "So in my dream last night, my mom surprised me with a tropical vacation."
"I feel like that's gotta have some deeper meaning, since she just ditched you for a surprise vacation."
"It's all a rich tapestry," she agrees. "So I'm on the plane with her and I realize she didn't pack my phone. So I can't text you, and you won't know where I am."
He pauses in mixing the pie, but then he recovers. "Me specifically?"
"I guess I would be pretty worried if you just dropped off the face of the earth. Did she pack your laptop? I'd probably give you like twenty-four hours."
Her tone is too light, the deliberate casualness that means she cares about his answer more than she's letting on.
"No, I guess not," he says, after he's given it some thought. "I wouldn't--I'd feel like an idiot, worrying after a day, because it's not like I see you every day. But I would be worrying as soon as you didn't respond to the group chat or tell me how your lecture was or something. But I'd wait a couple days to call the cops." And then he really thinks about it. "Shit, no I wouldn't. As soon as I couldn't find you, yeah. I'd freak the fuck out."
Her laugh is soft, more of a sigh. "Yeah. That's about how I'd be."
"You want to know what I've learned from six days of having a dream journal?" he asks her, because he was bracing for it, and if he doesn't do it, he'll waste all this stress and adrenaline. And she still won't know.
He refuses to look at her; he has pie to make. "Most of my dreams are about you."
"Yup. And they're really fucking sappy too, like--we're basically rubbing our noses together and running through fields of wildflowers holding hands. Except for the sex dreams. Which are still about you, just with sex."
"How many sex dreams did you have about me in the last six days?" she asks, and she sounds fucking stoked. He lets out a breath he wasn't quite aware he was holding.
"I might have left sex dreams about Clarke off the list of dreams I usually remember. Not that I have them all the time but, uh--usually when I have them, they're about you."
"That's so romantic. My subconscious isn't that monogamous."
"Maybe I just don't bother remembering the ones that aren't about you. Who cares, right?"
"Jesus," she says, and then she's by his side, tugging him down, and suddenly he's kissing Clarke Griffin.
He manages to disentangle himself from his cooking, get his hands free so he can tug her in, opening his mouth at the demanding press of his tongue. Clarke wants to kiss him so much, and it takes him a second to catch up just because he can't quite believe it.
He hoists her onto a free section of counter once he does, kissing her hot and desperate while she wraps her legs around him and tangles her hands in his hair.
"Such a romantic," she breathes, when he trails his mouth down her neck. "That was smooth and everything."
"I figured if you ever looked at my journal it was all over, so I might as well do it right."
She tugs his face back up to hers, and her grin is so wide he almost can't handle it. "And yet somehow it wasn't over when I said I had a dream about marrying you."
"For all I know, you have dreams about marrying a lot of people."
She pulls him down for another kiss. "Yeah. But I don't bother remembering the ones that aren't about marrying you."
thanksgiving dinner is running "a little late"
who looks smug as shit
Monty: Clarke definitely has a hickey
She says it's just my imagination
But it's not
Roan: As the least biased person here, I will confirm that Clarke has a hickey
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone