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It was an inside joke among the four Marauders that werewolves were well-endowed. They had no basis for comparison of course, having up until the age of twenty only ever known one werewolf, but from the first time Remus Lupin stepped from the shower stall in all his well-hung glory, the three boys agreed he was a beast in more ways than one.

Remus would blush brilliantly whenever conversation laced with innuendo about his wand length came up, but eventually he learned to take it all in stride and, quite like the jokes about his "furry little problem," teasing about his "impressive engorgement charm" became just as commonplace.

Of the four of them, however, Sirius joked about it the most. It didn't matter where they were, who was with them, or what they were doing—Sirius always found a way to work in some comment or innuendo.

When they would Apparate together: Didn't lose anything vital in that side-along did you?

When they played pick-up Quidditch on the weekends: Foul! Moony is seeking, he isn't allowed to use a bat!

When they went out for drinks: They named the Three Broomsticks after our Remus here, you know.

For his part, Remus would only laugh or smile and toss some silly comment back to deflect the attention away from him, but occasionally he'd tell Sirius to knock it off.

"What? Women always give you a second and third look whenever they hear us joke about it. You know you wouldn't stand a chance with me around. Gotta advertise, mate."

Remus rolls his eyes. "So you're just trying to give me hand?"

"It would take more than one hand, I'm sure"—Remus throws an empty takeaway carton at him as Sirius dissolves into giggles—"Of course I'm just trying to help. I'm very generous, Moony."

"Well that certainly explains why were drinking alone in your flat and not in the arms of some beautiful young thing. Anyway, I think you're overestimating how much women want…someone like me."

Sirius gives him an incredulous look. "All women want a huge cock, Remus. It's a fact."

"Considering you hardly need to learn a girl's name before you ask her back to your place, you'll forgive me if I find your credibility in how women think a bit lacking."

"Wanker," Sirius says, showing him two fingers and throwing the carton back.

Remus banishes it, along with the rest of the rubbish to the kitchen with a lazy flick of his wand and leans back into the squashy armchair, giving Sirius a patient look. "Women get a little intimidated when they see it actually. Like I'm going to hurt them or something. And no bloke will let me fuck him either."

At the end of their seventh year, Remus had confessed to his friends that he thought he preferred men. They all took it well for the most part. James insisted that as long as Remus still liked women, it was okay if he wanted to get off with a bloke every now and then, and Sirius logically reasoned that of course Remus would also like fucking men. There was plenty of him to go around, after all.

"It's more of a curse than a blessing," Remus says, wry smile twisting his lips, "believe me."

"You're having me on."

"Nope. I mean, I get by, you know," Remus assures, "but women…they think they want it, but when they're staring down the barrel they panic. And most guys get really insecure and insist I bottom. Which I don't really mind, but it would be nice to get off with someone without it being an issue, you know?"

"That is just…" Sirius shakes his head and throws back the remains of his firewhiskey. He reaches for the bottle on the floor and holds it out to Remus who shakes his head before pouring himself another. "I don't get it. That thing"—he gestures vaguely to Remus's crotch—"that thing should have its own religion. People should be on their knees worshipping your cock every day."

Remus laughs and takes a large swallow of his whiskey. "Really?"

Sirius nods in earnest. "Oh yes. Your cock is magnificent, Moony."

The second the words leave him, Sirius wishes he could take them back. Bloody hell, what was he saying? Remus is giving him a funny look that is two parts amused and one part vaguely curious.

"Is it now?" Remus asks lightly.

Suddenly the contents of his glass are the most fascinating thing in the world. Sirius shrugs. "Well it's all big and thick. It's nice."

"Oh, only nice now?" Remus says, laughter coloring his voice. "A moment ago it was magnificent."

"Shut up, Remus," Sirius snaps finally, forcing a laugh. "I'm pissed. I don't know what I'm saying any more."

There is a long pause, and then, softly, "I think you do."

Remus holds his gaze for a moment before Sirius looks away, feeling heat flood his face. He licks his lips, tasting sweet whiskey, and rolls his glass between his hands, wishing Remus would look away or do that thing where he changes the topic of a conversation because things were getting far too personal.



"Sirius, look at me." When he glances back, the amusement has left Remus's face, only a dark look coloring the brown of his eyes. His cheeks are flushed and his mouth is parted, making Sirius's pulse quicken. "Do you…" Remus licks his lips, sitting up a bit straighter in his chair. "Are you…curious about it?"

He considers playing dumb but something about the way Remus is watching him changes his mind, because, fuck yes, he's curious. Has been for ages. He can't remember a time he wasn't. At first it had been his own insecurity that made him glance over in the shower or when they were dressing or (a bit guiltily) mornings after the full moon. He wasn't exactly small but he just wanted to compare and, except for Remus, he was the biggest, followed by Peter, and then James. Apparently those antlers were compensating for something, but the differences were marginal really.

Then he couldn't stop thinking about it. Did Remus come more? Did he take longer to get off? What did it feel like for him? These thoughts would plague Sirius's mind as he lay, muffling his moans into his pillow behind the curtains of their dorm, palming himself beneath the sheets until he gave in and shoved a hand down his pants. How did Remus do it? Was it the same way Sirius did? Maybe he used both hands. Sirius had tried that once, one hand fisting his cock, the other cupping and massaging his balls. When he was feeling brave he'd let his fingers wander, teasing the pucker between his legs until he'd come, teeth biting his lip and wondering how many fingers he could fit inside.

Those nights scared him. Fucking another man wasn't the issue. He'd fucked men since those quiet, furtive wanks. Several in fact. He hadn't felt the need to "confess" like Remus, who always felt so guilty for keeping secrets from them. It wasn't anyone's business. But thinking about fucking Remus. Wanting Remus to fuck him. That was different.

Because it was Moony. Moony mattered.

He tries to sound causal when he shrugs and says, "Maybe."

Remus huffs a short laugh and leans back against the sofa cushions. Unbidden, Sirius's eyes drop to Remus's parted legs, lingering on the blue denim covering his crotch. It is suddenly far too hot in his flat. The cooling charms must be faulty, he thinks, running a hand across his sweaty lip and finishing his drink.

He is very conscious of Remus watching him and he struggles to think of something to pull them out of this awkward turn they've fallen into. But Remus has other ideas. One pale hand slithers across his hip as Remus grasps himself through his jeans, hips bucking to the touch, eyes boring into Sirius's.

"Come then, if you're curious."

And Sirius really shouldn't be so eager, but he's wanted this for so long that he finds himself on his knees, bottle of firewhiskey skidding across the floor in his haste, kneeling between Remus's parted legs in a heartbeat. Remus smiles down at him, surprised, as if he perhaps did not expect Sirius to agree so quickly, if at all. Too much liquor is the excuse, ready on his tongue, but Remus doesn't ask for explanations. Just cards his fingers through Sirius's hair and moves to unbuckle his belt. Sirius stops him, wrapping his fingers around Remus's wrists.

"Let me," he breaths, and Remus nods, leaning back and canting his hips to give Sirius better access. Slowly, Sirius flips the clasp open, pulling the worn leather from the belt loop, his eyes locked with Remus's. With a smirk, he leans forward, unbuttoning Remus's jeans and taking the zipper carefully between his teeth before pulling slowly. Remus's hand moves to his shoulder, digging briefly into his collar as he hisses through his teeth.

"Fuck, Sirius."

"Hmmm," Sirius agrees, burying his nose in Remus's briefs and feeling the bulging hardness there. A jagged bolt of want shudders through him as he inhales Remus's musky scent making his own cock throb. Oh God, he's never been more turned on in his life. They haven't even started and already he feels like he might lose it. His mouth is practically watering as he peels back the cotton pants and pulls them past Remus's hips along with his jeans to bunch at his ankles.

Beautiful is not a word Sirius would normally subscribe to male genitalia, generally speaking. Sexy, maybe. Nice, occasionally. But Remus, fuck, Remus is bloody gorgeous. Blush pink. Not too much hair. Long and thick and heavy with arousal. He has one fist closed around his considerable length, steadily stroking until it stood, fully erect and leaking from the tip, waiting for Sirius to do something.

Sirius's tongue darts out to wet his lips, aching to touch it but scared shitless at the same time. He glances back up at Remus who is watching him with heavy-lidded eyes, and his courage bolsters. "Moony?"

"You mentioned something about worshipping, I think?" Remus says, his voice low and thick.

Sirius grins. "I did."

And before his daring can leave him, Sirius pitches forward, closing his lips over the perfectly mushroomed tip. Remus's moan goes straight to Sirius's cock, making him moan in return as he sucks and nibbles gently on the swollen glans. He pulls off, kissing a damp trail down Remus's length, and nuzzles his tight sack, humming contentedly. It's perfect. Better than he dreamed it would be. Warm, satiny skin over hard flesh, twitching with each brush of Sirius's lips and tongue; Sirius licks from base to tip, reveling in the soft, choking noises Remus is making, and takes him as far as he can down his throat.

He earns himself a loud, broken groan when he begins to suck, tongue pulling and throat fluttering. "Oh God, Sirius," Remus groans, running fingers through his fringe and guiding his head gently. "You look amazing when you do that."

Flushing at the earnest praise, Sirius applies himself to Remus's cock with enthusiasm, head bobbing and fist stroking what he is unable to fit in his mouth. His own cock is throbbing, straining against his jeans painfully enough to make him whimper. Fumbling one-handed, Sirius manages the button and zip, groaning in relief when he can slip his fingers into his boxers and stroke himself in tandem with the hand making Remus cry out.

His fist is sweaty and tight and bloody marvelous and the way Remus is thrusting and clutching his hair sends the heat pooling in Sirius's abdomen to a boiling point. With difficulty, he pulls away from Remus and leans his forehead against the other man's hip, gripping himself tightly and breathing deeply, trying to bring himself back under control. "I'm close."

Gentle hands smooth through hair. "It's okay. C'mere."

Remus urges him up, helping Sirius out of his shirt and shucking his jeans to the floor, kicking them away carelessly as he pulls Sirius into his lap, the sofa creaking beneath them. Another tremor of pleasure rocks through Sirius when their cocks meet, sliding wetly together. Oh fuck, it's touching him. Sirius surges forward, burying his face in Remus's neck as he continues to thrust circle his hips, eager for more hot, wet friction, but not quite trusting himself to look for fear of ending things quickly.

Sirius kisses the fluttering pulse on Remus's neck, working the buttons on his shirt and pushing it open until his fingers find the sweat slick skin beneath. He murmurs against Remus's neck, kissing the line of his jaw. "Remus…"

"What do you want?" Remus asks, wrapping a hand around them, making Sirius gasp.

"Fuck, oh God, Remus…"


"Want you…in me. Want you to fuck me."

Remus swears and kisses him, tongue swiping into his mouth like he owns it, and Sirius melts. His brain is short circuiting and all he can focus on is how good this all feels. Remus's perfect fucking cock touching his, writhing against him, kissing him like they've been lovers for ages. He can't take much more.

"Is this…" Remus pulls away and gives him a serious look, "have you ever?"

"No…I've done it but I've never…been done."

Blunt fingernails dig into his buttocks, pulling him closer. "Bloody hell, Sirius."

"Is that bad?"

Remus laughs, massaging where his fingers have bruised Sirius's bottom. "No. I wanted to be your first."

"Oh." Sirius isn't sure what to make of that, but he is achingly hard and seconds away from getting the thing he's wanted for years so he logs it away for later inspection. "Here or bedroom?"

"Here. Hand me my wand. I know a spell."

Sirius reaches over the side of the sofa, handing the wand to Remus and kissing him thoroughly as Remus taps his hip and mutters silently against his lips. Tingling heat shoots up his spine as a warm, wet sensation fills him, and Remus's fingers are teasing his entrance, sliding inside and stretching him until he's gasping against Remus's neck. "Fuck."

Wrapping his hand around Remus's length, Sirius strokes him, pushing back on the fingers torturing him, excitement racing through his veins at lightning speed. He's so close; every wet dream he's had since he was sixteen is on the verge of coming true. When he can't take it any more, he pulls back, shifting in Remus's lap.

"I'm ready."

"You sure?" Remus asks and Sirius nods. They maneuver back on the sofa. Remus is sprawled back, his legs parted, Sirius still straddling his hips. Dark drown eyes lock on to his, holding his gaze. "Ride me."

Sirius nearly comes right then. Fuck, Sirius would probably do anything if Remus asked him like that. He leans forward, bracing one had on Remus's shoulder, the other reaching behind him to guide Remus in. Remus holds his hips steady, prying his cheeks apart until he slides between them, nudging at Sirius's twitching hole. Eyes fluttering close, Sirius eases down, feeling the blunt head pushing against his entrance, and he panics for a split second, thinking there is no way it will possibly fit, before it pops past the resisting muscle.

A loud groan rips from his throat. "Oh God, oh God, Remus."

Remus grips his hips tightly when Sirius takes more of him. "Shh, slower, we'll get there."

"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt," he manages, sending a small blessing to the man or woman who invented preparation charms, and leaning their foreheads together, teasing Remus's lips with his tongue. "I've wanted this for so long."

"Yeah," Remus rubs his bony hips with the pads of his thumbs, fingers inching back to knead the flesh of his arse, "me too."

Sirius rolls his hips, feeling Remus slide in farther and stretching him impossibly wide. He runs his fingers over Remus's chest to do something with his hands as he takes the time to adjust, Remus watching him with covetous eyes. He rocks back and forth, feeling Remus pushing deeper with each backward thrust, waves of heated pleasure coursing through him, until at last he is fully seated. His face splits into a delirious grin because he's done it, taken all of Remus's eleven and a half inches, and he's never felt more full or complete in his life.

"God it's so big. Feels so good."

Words seem to have deserted Remus. He only clutches Sirius's hips, urging him to move faster, and Sirius does, falling into a steady rhythm of rising and falling, impaling himself hard and angling his hips, feeling desperate and shameless and like he may never get enough. After a while the sounds of their harsh breathing and flesh smacking together is sending Sirius to the edge, his muscles drawing tightly.

"R-Remus I'm c-close…are you?"

Fingernails dig into Sirius's hips as Remus licks a bead of sweat from his jaw. With a mighty heave, Remus flips them, Sirius's back hitting the sofa cushions hard, as Remus splays a hand on his chest and continues to piston into him without mercy, and it is at that point that Sirius's brain shuts down completely. He wraps his legs around Remus's waist, heels digging into the other man's back, pulling him closer.

"Do you want it like this?" Remus asks, panting as he pulls out completely before thrusting back in again. Sirius moans loudly, clutching the back of the sofa for leverage, giving himself over, and Remus manages a chuckle. "I bet you do. Want my big hard cock fucking you until you can't stand."

"Yes, oh God, yes," Sirius moans, feeling pressure building and his balls tighten. He reaches up, tangling his fingers in Remus's sweaty hair and pulls him down for a sloppy kiss, gasping into the other man's mouth when his body angles just right and white hot pleasure explodes behind his eyelids. "Fuck, fuck, there, oh!"

Remus flattens his palm against Sirius's sorely neglected cock, rubbing him in time with his deep thrusts until Sirius is arching up, back bowed, as his orgasm turns him inside-out in strong, unending waves. Grunting, Remus sheathes himself again and again, his hips bruising the flesh of Sirius's arse, when he stills suddenly, thickening as he pulses inside Sirius, uttering a long, broken cry. "S-Sirius…"

With a groan, Remus collapses atop him, sprawled in a messy tangle of limbs on Sirius's small sofa. As their breathing evens out, Sirius smoothes his fingers over Remus's trembling back, a sated smile pulling on his lips. He is just falling into a blissful stupor when Remus pulls abruptly away, leaving Sirius feeling empty when he pulls out.


"I should go. It's late."

Sirius sits up, wincing as his taxed muscles protest, and he reaches for Remus. "It's late. You should stay. We could… maybe we could do it again."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Remus mutters, zipping up his jeans.

"Why?" Sirius asks, mystified. It had been brilliant.

"Look," Remus huffs, buttoning his shirt, "if you want a huge cock in your arse every now and then, that's fine. Good on you. But I can't—"


"It's just we're friends and I like you and it's difficult enough being around you all he time and now that we've—"


Remus stops, watching him with carefully guarded eyes. Ignoring the ache in his thighs, Sirius stands, wrapping a blanket from the sofa around his waist, feeling suddenly self-conscious being the only naked person in the room, and runs his fingers through his hair. "It wasn't…" Sirius sighs and gives Remus an exasperated look. "I didn't just want your enormous fucking cock, Remus, okay? I actually wanted the man attached to it too. So…don't go."

Pale fingers that were moments ago clutching Sirius tightly linger over the buttons of his shirt as Remus hesitates. "Really?"

"Yes! For such a brilliant bloke, you can be so thick. I guess brain size doesn't correlate, does it?"

A smile peeks past Remus's uncertainty. "If it did, that would explain why you're so tiny."

"Oi, it's not the size of your wand, it's the magic you make with it! Just wait till I top you, I'll make you rue that slight on my manhood."

Remus steps close, nose bumping against Sirius's as he kisses him softly. "Looking forward to it."